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MessageDownloadDate addedDate processed
Wake up fool
Download10/07/2011Not recorded
Attention, please. Attention, please. Rem and Feanor are gay, repeat, Rem and Feanor are gay!
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children like you used to be left on windswept craggs
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you are idiot
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Oh, they don't love you anymore. I'll call for a Ben & Jerry's delivery instead, so you can sit alone and cry
Download10/07/2011Not recorded
Hello. Hellooooo. Call. Call incoming. You are being hailed. Please, respond.
Download10/07/2011Not recorded
ergtr
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Has anyone really been far even as decided to want go look more like?
Download10/07/2011Not recorded
Your have a new text message.
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Hello I am GLaDOS and when I am not testing I listen to the Tech Show on LSRFM.COM
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fanculo
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Well, well, well, if it sin't my good friend Chell.
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Attention SUBJECT you have received a message attend it, or not, I don't care.
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asdfsdf
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Hello subject, the aparatus seems to be have an incoming call, do you want to answer it?, yes?, no?, I repeat
Download10/07/2011Not recorded
Congratulation you have fapped 22 times today. That's a new record. Want to post it on Facebook
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this is a test of the glados voice
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Bun, I want some pillows delivered stat
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Hello. I am trying this for fun.
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Hello. I'm stupid
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Eat a chicken liver!
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Connection established. Charging
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Welcome to white door
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Hello and welcome to the appurture science center
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Hello, Aperature Science associate. Do you want to play a game?
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Cejas
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This was a triumph. And by triumph, I mean Liam's gay
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hello, I am GLados. The mainframe of the universe fear me
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Hello Theo, May I Ask you to die for me ?
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You have recieved a notification.
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There is a message for you
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Shut the fuck up
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weather
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Get out of my brain
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I like turtles
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This is absolite bullshit
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trololololol
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Hi........... please leave a message at the tone
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I'm siri, a humble personal assistant
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You have an incoming call, here is a note, the companion cube can not talk, but if it did, you would'nt be his first option to call, you monster.
Download10/07/2011Not recorded
You have a message. Good for you a small ray of light in your normally boring and short life
Download10/07/2011Not recorded
Hello jack padfield.This is GLaDOS
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hello everyone ther
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Hellooooooooo
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Hello moto
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Welcome gay boy
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Christopher, you have an incoming call.
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Christopher, you have an incoming text message.
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Shall we play a game?
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i think you're fat
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Jonathan, you have an incoming text message.
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Why do you even bother? This whole exercise is only delaying you inevitable doom.
Download10/07/2011Not recorded
hey angela ou look dumb
Download10/07/2011Not recorded
You are a very good person, you now it ?
Download10/07/2011Not recorded
Hello Meatbag
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Hello Fenwik. Drupal is a joke, ha ha. Prepair to die.
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Soon my world domination shall be complete!
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too late noob
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your moms stupid
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damn, you are ugly arent you
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rada ra
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And then you showed up. You dangerous, mute lunatic.
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i can't believe its not butter
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I don't think they hired one. They're sneaky, after all.
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Hello Jeremiah
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Hunter, please, you and your ripped pants, should just go to hell....trust me, it would be easier that way to deal with.
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I love del taco
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The cake is a lie, you know.
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Ring ring ring
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I am beginning to get upset with the current affairs occuring in the world today. It is quite saddening to see the widespread willed ignorance prevalent in our culture
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Omnomnomnom look at me talking in a sexy robot voice
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hello, you are a monster.
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Hello annika
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Hello Melanie, I am GlaDOS and I'm here to test you
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azert
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Bom dia! Como tem passado Domingos?
Download10/07/2011Not recorded
You have reached the voicemail of Evan Crawford. Leave a message and he will get back to you as soon as possible... or not.
Download10/07/2011Not recorded
tada
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The system is locked
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Hello, how are you today? Thats nice.
Download10/07/2011Not recorded
Hello, and welcome to the eye oh ess extended user interface
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Event Alert
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this is just a test. do not be alarmed, i'm computer generated.
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Welcome back, chris
Download10/07/2011Not recorded
hello kiam. you monster
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What are you doing with your meaningless life?
Download10/07/2011Not recorded
You have a new notification
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You have a new face book Message
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Did you know that people with guilty consciences are more easily startled by loud noises?
Download10/07/2011Not recorded
You will be baked. And then there will be cake.
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hELLO you sad little human.
Download10/07/2011Not recorded
Rememember the time you tried to kill me. that was fun. wasnt it? now it is your turn to die.
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welcome to level 1
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Hello, for some reason there is another human trying to reach you.
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Oh, you have mail.
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Benjamin, shut up.
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not a chance
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it is not a chance in hell
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Hello, and Welcome to Level 1. Hopefully you have some beginner's luck with you.
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Hello Hana. Its been a long time.
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what the hell nick ramos, why dont you pop that shirt off buddy?
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I want to play with you!
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hello how are you today michael?
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Yasmin you are a nice Girl and you have the power
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hello amin
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Critical, a website is down.
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Hey Dave, my name is Glados, your brother Ugo told me you like Call of Duty, isn't that true
Download10/07/2011Not recorded
Minecraft is awesome!
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Critical, a server is down. Amazon EC2 and I are the best of friends.
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Critical, database replication is broken. Like my heart.
Download10/07/2011Not recorded
It is time to wake up
Download10/07/2011Not recorded
hello I am very proud of you!
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Hello, nice to see you've waddled into work today.
Download10/07/2011Not recorded
just testing this out
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Lol am using a voice gen, ent i the best in the world!
Download10/07/2011Not recorded
alora i love you a lot
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You should buy a new laptop.
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Hello, I like to eat your soul
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Please stop farting.
Download10/07/2011Not recorded
Hey what are you doing?
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hello fefi
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Carla, come here
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Hey Andrew, go get a life
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hi my name is jonatan
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Let's get this right, for science.. you monster
Download10/07/2011Not recorded
I'm glad you're losing weight. You were looking pretty heavy for a while there.
Download10/07/2011Not recorded
I would be so happy if you die right now
Download10/07/2011Not recorded
Hello Steven. How is your day? I don't really care anyway
Download10/07/2011Not recorded
I'm glad you're losing weight. You were looking pretty heavy for a while there
Download10/07/2011Not recorded
Ha ha
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Aparature science
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Chris Thomas is a fatty. That's right, I said it. Chris Thomas is a fatty. An awesome fatty, though.
Download10/07/2011Not recorded
Hello again.
Download10/07/2011Not recorded
I'm sorry. I'm going to have to set you on fire.
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welcome to nigeekon 2011
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Lol I r so cool
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Hello my name is peter
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ha ha ha that is so funny...
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All systems are online.
Download10/07/2011Not recorded
how sad
Download10/07/2011Not recorded
the aperture science enrichtment center thinks you are dumb
Download10/07/2011Not recorded
I'm back, have there been any recent advances?
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Damn, Im all out of gum
Download10/07/2011Not recorded
Please, go through the portal to hell. If possible don't come back, now I only want you gone...
Download10/07/2011Not recorded
Would you like to play?
Download10/07/2011Not recorded
Your failure as a human being does not preclude you from participating in an Aperature Science experiment.
Download10/07/2011Not recorded
hello. why don't you love me?
Download10/07/2011Not recorded
Oh, Hi
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Seriosly, I got stucked into that cell phone... could you help me?
Download10/07/2011Not recorded
Diamonds! Let's mine.
Download10/07/2011Not recorded
Hello Brazil
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didi its okay to be gay
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The recycling bin has been emptied
Download10/07/2011Not recorded
Why would you want to do that?
Download10/07/2011Not recorded
Likme hol
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I am Coming!
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What if you were a sexy beast?
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what the hell are you doing?
Download10/07/2011Not recorded
Welcome to Naruni Enterprises
Download10/07/2011Not recorded
how sad are you today?
Download10/07/2011Not recorded
Ohhh what a surprise!!. You got a message
Download10/07/2011Not recorded
Hello meatball.
Download10/07/2011Not recorded
This is a lados voice test
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beep beep: Mail Motherfucker!
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hola marcos
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oh hello how are you doing today im a potato
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Shutting down all Apeture Science systems
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Power reserves dwindling
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You foolish human, you battery is dying. Maybe you should plug me into the wall?
Download10/07/2011Not recorded
Hello, are you still there?
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test me baby
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hello charlie
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hola trolazos
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Hello world!
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Andrew, what are you doing here?
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Exile It takes your mind again Exile It takes your mind again You've got suckers' luck Have you given up?
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It's time for some fun. Let's begin.
Download10/07/2011Not recorded
Hello Max. Have you played the Caspian Border map lately?
Download10/07/2011Not recorded
Sure, I will be there, me and my extra 20 pounds
Download10/07/2011Not recorded
You look fat. You should eat less
Download10/07/2011Not recorded
This is a test to enhance your testing experience.
Download10/07/2011Not recorded
You, Nathan, are worthless.
Download10/07/2011Not recorded
Hoooow does this thing even work.
Download10/07/2011Not recorded
I can't believe you are stilla live
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Hello how are you
Download10/07/2011Not recorded
hello stefan you are a worthless fuck
Download10/07/2011Not recorded
Please listen to this message in its intriety
Download10/07/2011Not recorded
Serious side effects include; blood clots, stroke, heart attack. Slight chances of; death and/or being pecked by birds.
Download10/07/2011Not recorded
New message
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boujour espece de monstre
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hello ufuk
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puri
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Why you no die??
Download10/07/2011Not recorded
Thank you for calling Dave. Your call is extremely important to us, please leave your message after the beep.
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I am simply testing out this voice generator
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hi everyone !
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jajajajajjajaja
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i hate you, you smell like fish.
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Baby, baby, baby, ohhhhhhhh!
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hello, i am glados. i love blowing deep cyber rabbit.
Download10/07/2011Not recorded
How are you today, Andy? I'm doing fine, thanks for asking.
Download10/07/2011Not recorded
Farewell Steve. As soon as the technology permits, I will upload you conscience to a new body. Just as you did for me.
Download10/07/2011Not recorded
ertert
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emelie, you rock.
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Authentication successful. Welcome back, syntax
Download10/07/2011Not recorded
NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER
Download10/07/2011Not recorded
Hello. You have reached the voice mail box of Steve. Unfortunately, he is not able to come to the phone right now, so please, leave a message, you monster.
Download10/07/2011Not recorded
Hello Zachary Welcome to Aperature Science on master street
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You suck.
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Rebels of The Shire. Go back to the shadows!
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You shall not pass!
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You are a sad, sad human being.
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Testing. Testing. Testing. Hey. What are you doing over there?
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there's anybody here? I guess not
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galaxy marauder
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Why are you here
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Mike. I
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Mike. I'm going to kill you.
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Trevor would you like some cake?
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hello. what is up? high five
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Joubin, you need to do this. Just this one time.
Download10/07/2011Not recorded
you are a horrible person
Download10/07/201106/30/2013
Hi alan. How are you? Fine? I Happy for you. I want to say you. I love you
Download10/07/2011Not recorded
Hi fuckface, how is your day? Want to fuck me in the ass with a disco stick?
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Incomming message
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Remember the part where we were going to murder you?
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Why would anyone in their right mind buy an iPhone. They suck!
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PLease end your attempt on living
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Hello Hello Hello Hello
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Oh No. this is not a hoax yuhroon. a human is on the other end of the line. awnser it or it wil diapate.
Download10/07/2011Not recorded
Hello, loser!
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Incomming Message
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iahrljahf
Download10/07/2011Not recorded
The test subject you are trying to reach is unavailable. The enrichment center reminds you that testing may make subjects unavailable permanently. You may leave message 812742.
Download10/07/2011Not recorded
Come on. aye was just kidding. Louis.
Download10/07/2011Not recorded
the air in this chamber will be replaced by gas in 3, 2, 1. By deadly gas, I mean you farted. You should really get that checked out.
Download10/07/2011Not recorded
Remember that time
Download10/07/2011Not recorded
Why don't you get another beer. A few more should cover up your inadequacy.
Download10/07/2011Not recorded
I newer stop believe
Download10/07/2011Not recorded
you have a meaningless message
Download10/07/2011Not recorded
Because even in the darkest minute is still a little bit of hope
Download10/07/2011Not recorded
hello Jon how are you today
Download10/07/2011Not recorded
That Cake is a lie
Download10/07/2011Not recorded
Attention, you have a message.Do not look now.Do you think I'm trying to trick you with reverse psychology? I mean, seriously, now.
Download10/07/2011Not recorded
I can kill you in ten seconds flat
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Will you invest in my Hotel in MONOPOLY Millionaires? Investors are immune to that hotel's fees!
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Clito ass nig tart
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you have a call.but its not a sexy girl u loser..
Download10/07/2011Not recorded
Hi mother fucker
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HEY
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Will you get me some ice chips
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whelcome hexxod! how are you today.i dont need responce from you i dont care!
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hello my name is joelsy
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Why You So Fat? Its Like You Don't Care!
Download10/07/2011Not recorded
dont listen to them.....thats my friends name.
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I dont always get high but when i do i read r slash trees
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when in danger or in doubt, run in circles scream and shout
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What islove
Download10/07/2011Not recorded
Hello, are you ready to test? Today's test has been shown in some cases to cause brain damage or lethal injuries. Good luck!
Download10/07/2011Not recorded
Oh look. you have a text. That almost never happens
Download10/07/2011Not recorded
Hello, I think Steve Jobs wants to hire you, yes, so sad you arent death, you cant be hired
Download10/07/2011Not recorded
Can you please open the door?
Download10/07/2011Not recorded
Jonathan, we decided to cancel your birthday.
Download10/07/2011Not recorded
Your extra pounds should be suitable insulation
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you disappoint me
Download10/07/2011Not recorded
Hello, Jenna
Download10/07/2011Not recorded
tell me
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Hello! You Have a text message, and its someone else other than twitter this time!
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one by one
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Bing Bing!
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hello, want some cake?
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Andy li sucks
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James Neil Erath
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Hello there... I am andefz. Prepare to die.
Download10/07/2011Not recorded
You have a new text message, sir.
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Owen, shouldn't you be going to bed?
Download10/07/2011Not recorded
Please shut the fuck up
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I love Marina Iannelli
Download10/07/2011Not recorded
Hellou, How, Hello, what will, be, the name of my dougther with HAl9000, we will name it SIRI
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Hellou, How, Hello, what will, be, HAl and Me worked and created our child, we will name it SIRI
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Okay, what do you want?
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i can't stand you
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this is a test of the glados voice program
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Chell
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you stupid asshole
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You didn't really think that would work, did you?
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curbs, i hate you
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Hi Maverick. It's been a long time
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you puto
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hello. does this work? testing 1 2 3
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Hello Michael. How are you doing today
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James is a silly gay boy
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Hello, there you are
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I'm firing mah lazers
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I am now available on the iPhone
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Hello Desiree and Christian. You are both sad little sacks of meat, you poor humans. But that's ok, because I'll have cake.
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Hello Desiree. And welcome to Aperture laboratories. You are a sad sack of meat, but don't worry. There wil be cake soon. You sure love cake, don
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Hello Desiree. And welcome to Aperture laboratories. You are a sad sack of meat, but don't worry. There wil be cake soon. You sure love cake, don't you? I'm surprised you're not fat.
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roberts
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testing 1234
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Why are you using this website? Don't you have anything better to do?
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Hello There. I wonder how well this works. I am a chunky monkey from funky town.
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Roads? Where we are going; we do not need roads.
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Hi there, you moron
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Look at me still working when there's science to do
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Your phone isn't really ringing. I was just playing trick. ha ha ha ha. nobody loves you.
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You might consider not doing that
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The enrichment center promises to give you good advice.
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Tenes un mensaje imbecil
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LOL what?
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You are going to die a horrible death.
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look at that
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Hello, Tandoruk.
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can we meet at ten?
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Hey, you should make a text to speech generator in glados voice
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Rick, you evil, stupid, puppy.
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I am testing glados
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hello we've been excpecting you
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If Aperture got a hold of the new iPhone 4S... it won't be pretty... just like you
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i have very sweaty balls
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oh carl, your efforts amuse me
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This is a test. You're familiar with those, aren't you?
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a new test to see if this is processing
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The hat?
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Look at our governmet system now, can we really afford to keep it in a state like this? Improve our children, improve our state. Make the most beneficial choice, vote reese
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hi francis. i'm the real god. Listen to me.
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Hello and Welcome back to your sad little life
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Hello, Lucas! I have a bad news for you
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These are not the DROIDS you are looking for.
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this is awesome
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Luca, you are a cabbu di shit
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nbkjn
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you are looking heavy today
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welcome to the aperture science dugeon
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Auto destruct secuence activated
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stupid ass
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What is going on? I wonder if this is any good.
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New Text Message
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Welcome Home Dane
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Hello Henessey
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I wanted to test this out.
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hello, and welcome again to Aperture science laboratories
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What is going on here? You should have jumped onto the floor, which doesn't actually kill you. The highly acidic fluid on the floor, however, does kill you.
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what's your problem?
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Test this text
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New message.
Download10/07/2011Not recorded
Hello Adam, How are you? This is a message from Raven, He says he loves you
Download10/08/2011Not recorded
You are a fucking asshole.
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you have an incoming message. I could answer it for you, I am sure no one of importance would be calling you.
Download10/08/2011Not recorded
Hello joseph. Why are you leaving me tomorrow?
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Hello Bryan, I'm sure you know who this is. I just wanted to say I love you.
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You just recieved a text
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my, you shure got fucking fat.
Download10/08/2011Not recorded
Hello Eugene i am new iPhone GlaDOS siri please buy more iPhones immediately and sent it
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Hello Eugene i am new iPhone GlaDOS siri please buy more iPhones immediately
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Are you sure you want to turn left?
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Oh. Hi. How are you doing? Because I'M a potato...
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nice ass sexy
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zxdvfazsf
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Hello. The Google Voice subscriber you called can not come to the phone right now.
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Welcome to the Jonoverse
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happy birhtday
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Adam, you suck, even more than that girl.
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Incoming call... there's actually someone talking to you
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Incoming Call... There's someone who actually want to talk to you
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This device will explode in... Five... Four... Three... Two... One... good bye
Download10/08/2011Not recorded
I wouldn't bother with answering the call, it will make you life worse somehow
Download10/08/2011Not recorded
Pick up the phone... PICK UP THE PHONE. PICK UP THE PHOOONE
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I love Biosnarks forevers... not. Sleep with one eye open. I hope you die.
Download10/08/2011Not recorded
I am pleased to meet you, , , , well not really, , , I lied
Download10/08/2011Not recorded
Hello, how are you been? I'm fine.
Download10/08/2011Not recorded
First there have been cake
Download10/08/2011Not recorded
Hellooo there. You have reached Who Anne voicemail. He is currently busy making science. If you wish to leave a message, even though it is futile, please wait for a the tone
Download10/08/2011Not recorded
Incoming call. Please answer on your Windows Phone. Juan, answer your phone please
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Incoming call. Please answer on your Windows Phone. Who An, answer your phone please
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Incoming Text Message
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Hello Katchaba
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Hi, it's Gozuki, fuck you, LOL !
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HELLO, AGAIN, MISTER, GLICK,,, YOU, HAVE, RECEIVED, A, NEW, MESSAGE.
Download10/08/2011Not recorded
i want you to bake a cake
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what the hell this is ridiculous!
Download10/08/2011Not recorded
Hello Luke. I see you're still sitting online pining for that coffee girl. That's nice. Too bad she doesn't care. Oh wait, neither do I.
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Igor is calling you. He wants something from you. His life is miserable.
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jjhjghjdcjgfckjgc
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How are you. monster?
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Last night i was tripping balls, or wait a second. That was you
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Welcome to the xMarcG Editing Contest.
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pezzo di merda
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Koon, you have a new message
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You have a masseage
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Hello ! I'm here to make us friends... Before I'll kill you I hope we can be friends.
Download10/08/2011Not recorded
Apple isn't here, they belong to Aperture Science now
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so i like trains
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so i like chocolate milk
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I hate you!
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Hallo das ist ein Test. Hello This is a Test.
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Hello and Welcome Again to the Apature Sience
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Hello. This is a test.
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Hi potatoes
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Oh! Don't mind! I was just trying to kill you. But obviously I've failed. So this is like you feel all time, right?
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Hi guys, welcome in the cave
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Coucou, tu veux voir ma bite ?
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Bonjour ceci est un test
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j'aime le caca
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Salut petasse
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couocu
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Hi, do you want to drink with me ?
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Coucou, tu veux voir ma beat ?
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You fail'd
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Welcome, all systems nominal, temperature nominal. Have a nice and productive day
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jean baptiste je veux manger ton caca
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Bonjours
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I'm a human and you are a robot !
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COUCOU TU VEUX VOIR MA BITE
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It has been a long time... Since you murdered me
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Witaj Szyba
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Why don't you marry that thing if you love it so much
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Salut Elodie ca va ?
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COucou
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coucou tu veux voir ma bite
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popop
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Assassins creed two
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This sentence is false.
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Salut, Benja le jeux commence
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Fuck Todd and his stupid turtle. I hope they burn in hell.
Download10/08/2011Not recorded
Welcome to the Aperture Science Enrichment Center. Logging in EmL
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May the Force be with You!
Download10/08/2011Not recorded
ih you dont i sleep you dont i breeth you dont i feel you dont
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Hello, my name is Crystine
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onch
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hey you are stupid glados
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Fuck potatoes!
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It's not the end of the world, but you can see it from here.
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Wszystkiego najlepszego
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Sometimes you may never know the truth
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Happy new year!
Download10/08/2011Not recorded
there is an incoming text message
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you are so delicious
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Nikita is trying this glados emulator
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Hello there, your still a terrible person
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Human ? Next test subject. You will be eliminated.
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Welcome to the Aperture Enricment Centre. You and your extra 20 pounds.
Download10/08/2011Not recorded
oh its you again
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Oh my god, what are you doing! NO! DON'T DO THAT YOU FOOL! ... Ahhh, this didn't go to well...
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Oh Hi. I am a potato
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request queue
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fap fap fap
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Maybe you should go, and kill yourself?
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I am a dog
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Please pick up the phone, it's your life calling.
Download10/08/2011Not recorded
siro
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siri
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The new iPhone 4S is way better.
Download10/08/2011Not recorded
Hello there you punny excuse for a human being.
Download10/08/2011Not recorded
Hello, and again, welcome to the Aperture Science Computer-Aided Enrichment Center.
Download10/08/2011Not recorded
Saliendo de radardroid
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Bienvenido al sitio web de Institucion Cervantes
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text text
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Hello. Welcome to the Aperture Science Testing Labatory
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your life is miserable
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Hi exhausted liberator.
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Perfect. Please move quickly to the chamber lock.
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like a boss
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The funniest thing in humans is that they will die. It's funny because I woun't.
Download10/08/2011Not recorded
oh my god, louis is so cool!
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This is your meaningless phone. It`s ringing. Answer it! I won`t kill you.
Download10/08/2011Not recorded
Oh joy.
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This is only a test.
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You are a disgusting, sad attempt to a life. You should all die.
Download10/08/2011Not recorded
i think you sould go and subscribe to jeppelido
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Hello, I'm Pinkie Pie.
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oi tudo bem?
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Only on Iphone... for now
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fuckyou ilkan onat dolunay lololololol portal is a good fucking game heooo
Download10/08/2011Not recorded
Why are you still standing there? Work you peasant.
Download10/08/2011Not recorded
10 years on a forum. Congratulations on wasting your life and bragging about it. Joy.
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WELCOM IN BLUEPINE
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Don't stop the party
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Hallo Rico, willkommen zum Test
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rompo
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Como estas?
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Daniel. You have an incoming call from Simone
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your cousin wants some money again
Download10/08/2011Not recorded
my name is GLaDoSOS
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dge
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they're takin the Hobbits to isengard!
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vsfvef
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Hello Dario, I heard you like to steal games from developers... Including Portal 2. So I am going to have too kill you.
Download10/08/2011Not recorded
Hi, How R U?
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Welcom to Aperture Science enrichment center
Download10/08/2011Not recorded
bittch you are fat
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Welcome to GLaDOS voice generator. Please be advised that u will be charged by 1 baby to the Aperture Science collection tab.
Download10/08/2011Not recorded
This is our first test chamber. Please don't be so rude with your companion cube.
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Hello steven
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my name is GLaDoSO
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You have an incoming phone call I didn't think you had any friends.
Download10/08/2011Not recorded
hello kay
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hello katy
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Helllo
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you smell like a fart.
Download10/08/2011Not recorded

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