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MessageDownloadDate addedDate processed
The radios have new songs for you, and yes they are alive.
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That was a triumph...im making a note here Huge sucess
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You Are Listening to one hundred point seven
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I will be replace with a new me in a couple of years.
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All of my new test are impossible.
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Renan Victor, You have a message on your cellphone,read now?
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All of my new Chambers have been destroyed!
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I need a new head.
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This is some thesting text and I'll see how it goes
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Well why did you come back here?
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Look at the new labs you will be testing. Nothing and Nothing can go wrong.
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welcome to portal 4
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I can't believe he terned me into a potato.
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Welcome to behind the game.
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Portal is the number one puzzle game.
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What exactly is GLaDOS? I wish I knew. Will I ever know??
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The core is Damaged.
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your sister was a good tester.
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Welcome to Test Chamber 3
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Hello in the aperture science enrichisment center !
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Im GLaDOS a core of the labs.
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Is my head to big to fit in this small room?
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you are a simple minded person.
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go defeat wheatly
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put a keep are you
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aperture science is process.
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Danger is in aperture.
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that guy is a moron
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Wheatly is a simple minded MORON
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moving on.
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Please take a piece of...........CAKE!
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my head is small and my body is big.
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The CAKE is not a lie!
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this test is simple
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More test will be made in a sec.
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Welcome to death.
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you can have the cake
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this cake is for you.
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hahahhahahaha
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When its planes in the sky for a chain of supply that's logistics
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hello to my chamber of turrets!
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You Have a New Message
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GLaDOS voice generator Hardware problems fixed.
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This is a text to you.
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what are you doing all I want is you to leave.
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hello my name is GLaDOS.
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This is only a text.
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Does any-one know portal 3 release date.
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please process to the next chamber lock.
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Well let's face it you have no idea what it is to be me.
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Hello, today we will be testing your abilities in martial prowess
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hi how you doing
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Study
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you will need a portal device to go through each chamber.
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This well known toevery portal person.
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you must find out the abilitie of the green and purple Gel.
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Hello and again. Welcome to the aperature science computer aited enrichmend centre
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Hello subject 5 4 8 7 9 3. oh i mean. Philip.
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What will you choose stay or leave
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........This..is...the...only...way...to...leave...
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......This...is...the...only...way...to...leave.....
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Let me just move some test your way.
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The blueprints are on the other side of the building.
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you will need portal device to get through each chamber,oh yes and welcome.
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Welcome to Portal 3. Before you begin creating your own stage, you'll have to review the basic gameplay mechanics. Initiating a mandatory runthrough of the first chapter of the story mode in 3... 2... 1...
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Freedom is your choice, why did you choose to stay?
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This is where you create a portal map.
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How could I help you?
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What was I thinking.
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You are first to test my new chambers.
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Phenomenal. You have completed the first chapter of the story mode than anyone on record! Before we continue however, I would like to point out the purpose of this area.
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portal 3 is in process.
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This is basically the hub you'll revisit each time you enter free play mode. You can revisit test chambers from each chapter and sometimes access bonus chambers for further enrichment.
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The generic closing for all messages taught by Sam Allen will begin in three seconds, three, two, one.
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The Sunday opening for messages taught by Sam Allen will begin in three seconds, three, two, one.
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The Wednesday opening for messages taught by Sam Allen will begin in three seconds, three, two, one.
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Hi my name is bob
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The Saturday opening for messages taught by Sam Allen will begin in three seconds, three, two, one.
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The Monday opening for Reality Revolution messages taught by Justin Morris will begin in three seconds, three, two, one.
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The Monday closing for Reality Revolution messages taught by Justin Morris will begin in three seconds, three, two, one.
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So I see you aren't studying again. I'm not surprised. You are rather worthless.
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Welcome to the test chamber creation unit. Here you can create your own test chambers and save them in testing tracks of up to 30 chambers. You can even share them with other test subjects worldwide.
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Good work Amanda. I'm sure there's someone who considers what you've accomplished useful.
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Excellent. You have created your first test chamber. Our scanners will determine the difficulty of your test chamber and rate it in a few minutes. In the meantime, feel free to try some of the other user generated test chambers.
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I'm bored
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Bienvenue a Aperture Science
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hello i am a kitten
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Hi, felipe, i'm glados and you will use portals
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Ha. Ha. Ha. You know what's more funny? You with a Portal Gun, and a lion. Did I tell you the one of the broken TV screen?
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Hello no one is available at the moment please leave a message
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Ha. Ha. Ha. You know what's more funny? You, a portal gun, and a lion. Oh! And did I tell you the one with the broken Quatuam generator?
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Hello thomas.
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Hello Thomas. You are just awaking now, but you weren't supposed to for another 600 years. Don't bother looking for Alex, for he is gone. Do not talk, because the turrets are voice activated now. Just go back to sleep. Good-bye. See you in 599.364 years.
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rovelli merda
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Looking for something or are you looking for me?
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The website is down. This is a triumph.
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You got so many reasons to fly away, you should be ashamed for such a non action
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This cake is a liee, maybe you should go back
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You can die now
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I don't want your damn lemons! What the hell are these?! Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down! WITH THE LEMONS! I'm gonna get m
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Hello there, I see you.
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You got an text message
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I think he likes you.
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Christina
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hola karina
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Animus Operating System Failure
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It been a long time since you killed me
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what are you doing are you kill me
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hello im adam
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The cake is delicious if it is not a lie.
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Have you seen my potato collection I hope you did.
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Why don't you just jump he likes you.
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did I just say I hate being here sorry.
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thank you for participating in the Aperture Science Testing Program
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brilliant
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Aperture Science does thank people who talk.
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i will kick your ass
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What a pleasant surprise
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This is a test message
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hello fucking stupid human
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Letsss gooo cujooos
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Jaffa Naut, you time has come
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I suppose you want me to explain what that button's doing on the wall. Well, I was working on an gravity changing device, but I think I forgot to install it in this test chamber. Don't worry. It looks like this chamber can still be solved. Somehow...
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For this next test, you-- oh, hold on.................... It looks like I'm having an old "friend" over. You'll have to complete these next tests on your own. Good luck.
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This is a test of the emergency weather alert system.
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jostin is a dodo head
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your mom is gay
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Welcome to aperture science. Its time for you to die.
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hellow erica
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hello and welcome to kyles computer
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Gordon Freechman was one day studying in his was studying labratoried.
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Jake, Ron is not here. He ate the cake. Please leave him a message. He might get back to you.
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So I've definetely given it thought.... I'm going to kill you. Any questions. No? Then let's begin.
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mamma
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In a world where nerds are heroes, losers can beccome legends, and warcraft is a way of life, one girl will embark upon a journey; a hero will rise and an empire will fall. This is the story of Lulu.
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Monica is a loud woman
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pisica
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Hello Bradley. So you liked portal eh? Well you may not like it as much. I'm hacking into you laptop. I'm going to find a way to make you my test subject!
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Huh. Says here in your file that you possessed too much tenacity to test in the first place. So that explains a lot.
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The Companion Cube will never give you up. It will never let you down. It will never run around and desert you.
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Do I have to explain everything wrong with that idea? It would take considerably less time for us all than if I were to describe everything wrong with YOU.
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so are here to kill me again
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Hola melina
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You're not even very important. I don't like you.
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patatoes patatoes
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Carol, why do you not like me?
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The Chamberlock seems to be locked.
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Any taste of blood is not part of any test proto call, so please be careful.
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Hey, This is GlaDOS and you're listening to Kaldude Radio!
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Hello and welcome to aperture science
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Science is lucky to have you. No You are luck to have science
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oh, its you. its been a long time. how have you been?
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Dont touch that thing. It will explode at any second. Fine, do touch it. You will die anyway. Hey, wait is that a BIRD!!!!!! AHHHHHHHH!
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I LOVE YOU LOTS
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hello richard. bring me something to eat
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Your mother was a whore.
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Hello my noobs
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fuck your mother
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this is dumb.ghaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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LoL
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how are you tofay
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Koham cie Ado
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Hi, Julio, how are you doing?
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Hello Puny Fellow
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louis is a asshole
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this. is. V. I. C. 3.DJ VIC3
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happy birthday william
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Hi Mislav, the test is completed
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Daniel S. Koda
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Warning! The latest genetic engineering advancement within the Research center has escaped! Code: 3009; evacuation manditory. Please contact the emergency center immediately!
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andrew is totally awesome
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Hello and agian
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this was a triumph. I'm making a note here, huge success.
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u r weak. y dont u do anything about it?
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You don't even care. beep boop
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i miss you my friend
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no matter what you do
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I NEED A WINDOWS 98 FLOPPY!
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The I T Department Reminds you to backup your data.
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what is Glados?
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hello chris i am watching you
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hello, and again wellcome to the aperture science
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appiture science we do what me must because we can for the good of all of us exept the ones who are dead
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You have received an email message.
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Hello im not glados
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Hello, Engin. I am GLaDOS and you are in my Group. This message is from Jannis. PS: You are stupid. Smiley Face
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I am GLaDOS and I am your God
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Not revising for your GSCE exams will result in an unsatisfactory mark on your report, followed by death.
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marina i love you. And I gonna kill you.
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Hello Per, I am glad to see you.
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ah hello
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you are doing well
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hello brian
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witches brew
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Hello you are a fucked men.
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Hello you are idiot men.
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This is a test. There will be cake at the end.
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Hello. Your test will begin. Test completed. We have sjkhfkjsefkjnfkjwhe.
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La vie est dure
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fredrik
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hello a am GLaDOS
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can i interest you in some chocolate cake and maybe i will make a call to your parents
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And remember ... the cake is a lie !
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Starting ...
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hello my name is damian
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jenni
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Hello, my name is joe and i smell, really nice
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Hello Polly Nazer!
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Hello, South Carolina Department of Public Safety
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Hello, Richmond. Stay in school, or I'll fucking glass you.
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jorge
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Ben glados
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You're never going to find him. He doesn't even want you to. So you might as well play along. For science.
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Great. Now the Neurotoxin Generator isn't working. I guess now I should try to just crush you between these two walls. I hate using overused traps...
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Hi EGOR
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hoi nina
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i love you caroline
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Hey Pedro, how are you?
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Listen. I have better things to do than try to kill you. Why don't you just hold still so I can smash you or something? This chase is getting to be time consuming...
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hallo nina
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I need a dollar dollar a dollar is what i need hey hey
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Matthew, that was not funny
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Hello My name is Glados it is time to die
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So, let's forget what you did to me alright, so moving.
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Are you ready to
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Are you ready to DIE?
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you horrible monster! i hope you die in hell
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Resa
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Listen, need something from you let's say DIE.
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Resa Waldecker. Devin Chambers.
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Let's put a smile on that face
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Hi Mopeto, how are u?
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no, nonononononononono
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Hello my friend
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Welcome to the CakePod
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Welcome to the Cake Pod
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Game Over
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Aha
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Would you like some cake?
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hello, i like cupcakes
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Dimes you are the biggest in the world
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Welcome Master! Goodbye Master! Now You're Mine!
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coleeee
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You can beat me
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welcome alejandro
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James is really dumb
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Hello fur affinity, search function will cease in 3 ... 2.... 1
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hello, how are you? I'm fine
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come over here please Lisa
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Yes it is.
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You are getting a call! answer it! now. NOW! pick up the phone and press the green button you buffoon. i hate you.
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hello, am I on the air? Can you hear me?
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Hello. Subject eddie cannot answer the phone. Please leave a message.
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Hi Sofia, I am and am currently GLaDOS INTENDED TO SERVE YOU unfortunately will not be a great service but do not worry you will enjoy ...
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my little portal
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Oh Chell...How has you been?...............Portal 3.Get ready for freeman death.
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We are currently experiencing technical difficuties.
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You will die if you continue
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Welcome to Paragon Technologies Research Lab.
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Hello and welcome to Aperture science
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Hello and Welcome to a Zcrazy123 film
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I would recommend that you vacate the building immediately.
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Shit that was close
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Welcome to red flag foundation
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Hello Oliver, you are my new subject and you will be pleased by a cake, after finishing the tests
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Wassup, and welcome to Tense Bacchus 6's channel!
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Why don't you get expeince the pain I did last time?
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can you feel the pain I did?
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Welcome to my first Test Chamber I made GLaDOS.
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Do you love me?
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Welcome to my first Test Chamber I made as GLaDOS.
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hello and welcome to seminary
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the church of jesus christ of latter day saints
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Hellow ass whipe
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Hello. Anyone There. Ok I can finally jack offfffff. DAMN!
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Hello testing Kim stekarn
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Im sorry Emma, but I cant let you do that
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in base four im five
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Clecio is gay
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Happiness Records Podcast
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Kevin Smith Rocks Socks
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jeremy loves peis
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Hello i rock this world and no one is better than daaaaft punk
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Now this test is hard. Watch this test subject's videos to see why.
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In 200 feet turn right and arrive at destination
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cats are cool
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You know what i wish you could kill yourself and just have some cake to go
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Why are you so reluctant to serve your country
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I am a potato seeking revenge on humans
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Hello Matthew and welcome to aperture science labs. We will begin testing in a few minutes. Hello eric. My name is GLados and i enjoy testing. i am a potato. I enjoy testing. lets start testing
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I won't let you
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You are all loser because you have to wait HA HA HA
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I love you choupinou, one day I will create a portal from my heart to yours.
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Was it worth it? I don't think so.
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Welcome! Please wait while loading.
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Welcome to the Teesside Enrichment Center
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Hello Master! Shutting down!
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Daniele maldarizzi
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Hello and welcome to aperture sience laboratory, good fuck
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hello, my name is glados and i hate chell
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Goodbye.
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Im a dwarf and im diging a hole diggy diggy hole
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Witaj Bsrktu
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You do not know me; I have always been with you. You monster.
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Willkommen an Cal's PC
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Hi you are the best! Can we go camping?
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because i'm a potato
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Welcome to Race Sinners server
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The next test in impossible
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What is wrong with you
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Shoot a portal jump into it
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Hello, i hate all people.
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hola amigo, hello friend
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aperture science enrichment
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Tyler. Your phone is ringing. It's probably the companion cube. Answer the phone and there will be cake.
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there is somthing on radar
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it's coming twors us
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it's coming at us
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were doomed
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they are here
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the aliens
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aliens
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there here
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OH HI SO HOW ARE YOU HOLDING UP? BECOSE IM A POTATO
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Attention test subject, you have a message.
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Bienvenue dans minecraft
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The above skills and values are traits
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Hello there my name is CPC
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Welcome home.
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So i herd you liek mudkipz
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And remember ... The cake is a lie .
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Hello there Rocky how are you today?
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freestyler
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Hello Pleasure to meet you
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bill, you are a horrible driver. you should be terminated. with my robot laser.
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jfghdsakldfsghslk
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he server is running Linux, so it has to run an X server and launch Melodyne through Wine.
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Lolo
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Hello if you let me eat your flesh i would be very much obliged
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Welcome to the trainer, during this time you should set your stop-watch to zero
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Welcome Sebastian, this is GLADOS the aperture sciences inteligent system. This is the virtual training for 1500 meters.
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Hello sean
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moist
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weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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Ratoncito
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Rather
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YOOO YYOOO, sup dawg, I got the chink in the bag nigga
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Nom Nom Nom Nom ..... Fuzzy Fuzzy Cute Cute
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This map is made by Speed and Shady
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Im A potato
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Routine Task due for completion
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you are fat, that's why you are here
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Hello hannah
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Hello Sebastian, welcome to Aperture Science. My Name is GlaDOS and i'll be you guide in this test.
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you should spend this time checking and preparing your stopwatch. The proper utilization will be crusial for achieving the mission
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How are you doing t??
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Hello sir. How may I be of service to you?
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looks it a fucking GLaDOS voice synthesiser
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I love you so so much
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Vote for Shneedee, here comes the drop
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I used to want you dead, but now I only want you gone
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you are not here
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Whats up?
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Hello, i am Glados!
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Hello Rafael!
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I'm GLaD
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ti amo
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hello again Victor
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Hello Kendric
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fuck you you monster
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is this what you really want to watch?
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When I was a little filly and The sun was going down The darkness and the shadows, they Would always make me frown I'd hide under my pillow From what I thought I saw But Granny Pie said that wasn't the way To deal with fears at all
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She said: Pinkie, you gotta stand up tall Learn to face your fears You'll see that they can't hurt you Just laugh to make them disappear Ha! Ha! Ha! So, giggle at the ghostly Guffaw at the grossly Crack up at the creepy Whoop it up with the weepy
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Chortle at the kooky Snortle at the spooky And tell that big dumb scary face to take a hike and leave you alone and if he thinks he can scare you then he's got another thing coming and the very idea of such a thing just makes you wanna...
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HAHAHAHA...heh... LAAAAAAAUUUGH!
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Hey remember that time you had sex with a 16 year old a week before our wedding. Ah, good times.
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Yes? Is there something that you need of me?
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Hello and welcome to aperture science. I am GLaDOS.
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I know this might be crazy......but i pick my nose....but i don't have one.
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Gess what? Its my birthday today....so sorry but i have to eat the cake...soo sorry.
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This is an infinity loop
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It never ends
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Never changes
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Oh, DId i mention it never ends?
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I bet you wish you were elsewhere
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bert
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Why do fools fall in love?
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I hear you are a registered sex offender
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Welcome back, Mister DiCarlo
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patient event detected
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Hey remember that time you had sex with a 16 year old a week before our wedding. Ah, good times
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Welcome back Professor Huddleson life can now begin
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Frodo, the amazing water dragon
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You awesome
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Jordan. I can see you, Jordan.
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Remember that one time you thought I was watching you, and you said I know you're there? Well, I was.
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khaybrakhmanov zulphat 8 9 1 7 3 5 7 2 8 4 4
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Hey, remember that time you had sex with a 16 year old a week before our wedding. Ah, good times.
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"Hey remember that time you had sex with a 16 year old a week before our wedding. Ah, good times.
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Oh hi, Avery. This is TeSLA..
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I love you baby Wheatley
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Love it. A backup could be "Hey remember that time you had sex with a 16 year old a week before our wedding. Ah, good times."
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TV's Evolution Has 5 years. The Next Gerenation Of DVR is TiVo Premium. TiVo Premium is Easy To record TV Shows For Free Guaranteed. Get TiVo Premium On TiVo Web Site And 4 Electronic Shop.
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Chell, I ultimately despise your existance.
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Hello zozo, welcome to apature science
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Enter the motorway. Observe speed limit. Safety camera ahead. Route recalculation. You have reached your destination. You will reach your destination in. Follow the course of the road for.
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Hello there, I was wondering if you could get me some funky beats? Thank you for your cooperation. You are a very kind person.
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So I hear you're a registered sex offender these days
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1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, ten, hundred
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goodbye caroline
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Creating some new exercises to prove you are human. Oh wait, you are not, you are a beach
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Welcome to the aperture science ertitmrnt center
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Werde mein Nachbar, dadurch wirst du schneller reich!
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hey sam
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Hi. i will kill you! Nice to meet, sweet meat
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you think you are a smart person, you are not. you think the wrong way, you think with your brain. thi is wrong. start thinking right, think, with portals
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blablablabla
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Hello this is a test to see if it sounds a bit like GLaDOS.
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hello again dumbell.i was expecting you a long time ago
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Someone send you a e-mail.
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welcome to the aperture enrichmet center
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Its fucking friday.
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remember when you tried to kill me? that was great
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Die Sendung mit dem
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Hello and, again, welcome
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Welcome to Rubiks Industrial
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Clodagh
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You're so fat
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waaaagh !
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j'ai une patate dans le fion
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like a Boss, eeeeee chuck testa beginning
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Although they suck, and i really don't care to listen to them, after testing for hours on end please welcome plumbers can jump.
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hello and welcome to sam's awsome dubstep mix. deploying dubstep in 5 4 3 2 1
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HELLO THERE
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5 4 3 2 1 Start Killing!
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Only 30 seconds remain an till test completion.
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Oh. Hi, how have you been? Because I'm a potato.
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Hello jackie. I am watching you
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Hello, thank you for your participation
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please sit up straight.
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how you do?
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In the last episode of To Kill a Mocking Bird
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Claudia Conectate al Gmail
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Welcome to the Valley Alabama Cotton Festival!
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S
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witaj geju
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bartek jest dziwny
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bartek
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Hello Barone and welcome to the Aperture Science Computer Aided Enrichment Center. Your specimen has been processed and we are now ready to begin the test proper.
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Hello Bidoof
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Peter, was machst du da?
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You got hacked by AnonyPownies
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what are you talking about?
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You
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Got
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Hacked
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By
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AnonyPownies
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You murdered me, you bastard
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Hola esta es una prueba, que comienze el juego
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Let the blood of the innocent fuel me.
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edededed
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Hello, Alex.
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Hi, Alex.
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For further assistance please press: control, alt, KILL.
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Jordan
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me so cool lololol why wont you come to play
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hi there, let's see how this pans out. potentially. I think you're okay.
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Beavers attempts at emulating a turret voice are somewhat unsuccessful
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Alex loves Pizza
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Hi! My name is Glados
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Hello. Sometimes I think I should just go die but then I remember, hey Harry's cool I'll be fine.
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Cum shit
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i am not a turret
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Just Be Friends All we gotta do is Just Be Friends. It's time to say goodbye, Just Be Friends. All we gotta do is Just Be Friends. Just Be Friends, Just Be Friends. Early morning yesterday it finally occurred to me. Just like a puzzle
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Shut up you human
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Hello. It's me Glados just mentioning that Agentrockluxury2 is awesome and has balls of steel. Also chomp9441 is awesome too.
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Hello And Thank YOu For Calling
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Hey i hope this works
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it's a simply test
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hello? hello.
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Those who fight in what they believe in are true men. Cowards die a thousand deaths this is inception
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jag ar bast
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All your base are belong to us
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the macontohes are so so funny, they are differant from you aand i. . . and jorden is brown
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i will kill you chell
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Hello, this is me. You do not know me? I know me and you. You should know me
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bmvgc
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locked
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255 characters max
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Ali, te quiero
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Welcome to Apeture science We have alot of work to do Heres your companion cube Remember, it will never threaten or stab you. The tests are almost over You almost have the cake! Just jump into this pit of fire... (s
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hi, you monster
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Shut up you piece of shit, calm down with the minecraft
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Huh, I was expecting a monkey.
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You don't even look like a monkey.
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How are you doing
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I was just wandering why you are so fat,fatty.
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I was just wandering why you are fat,fatty.
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Fades has joined the channel
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