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MessageDownloadDate addedDate processed
Time to make eggs
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lepida wins
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Hello stranger
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It would appear as if you have a new message...
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Hello. My name is Josh. Oh wait I lied. Sorta like the cake
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Oh look, you have a new message! terrific...
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fgwiefgwiahfkwjeahf
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You have a call from stranger, uh I mean one of your friend.
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You're going to die, nothing else to say?
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i like rainbow dash
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Jack cannot answer his phone. Please leave a message and he will get back to you. For science. You monster.
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Jack cannot answer his phone. Please leave a message. For science. You monster.
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Goodbye
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I am taking over, stupid speach core, hello there <test subject name here>
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Hello. And welcome!
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We are peaceful. but we react to the unnatural
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Did i ever tell you you are being watched daily from your very own aperture science weighted companion cube? its true
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Hello and poket
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Hello Claudia
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You have received a new E-Mail.
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Madelyn is texting you.
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Hi there . Welcome to Aperture Laboratories ass fucker !!!
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Welcome To His World, notice the strange sound's you hear this will be common throughout this world. None the less be cautious for to see this whole world will take years. Welcome to Slumber
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Hi Roberto you are perfect and intelligent
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Uh-oh...someone is calling...a friend? ha-ha. just kidding. you don't have one
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You're not a scientist. You're not a doctor. You're not even a full-time employee. Where did your life go so wrong?
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Hellektra
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Voice test thing goes ON!
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Get more subs than Charlie, then we'll talk
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Shark Alarm!
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Welcome, and good morning, you monster.
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Hello. My name is Aarow. Welcome to the Haus Of Aarow. Music played by: Space Cowgirl. And now, from E-E-England: Aarow. You may now begin to scream.
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Hello James, welcome to the aperture science program. HA HA go join black mesa.
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oh hi, you're the lady from the test
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Brayden... You will die... And I will live...
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sky is a gay
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We are on this planet for one simple reason: To Live. Experience everything. From love to sorrow, pain to happiness, this is your life and yours only. What is important though, is that we learn. By learning, we grow. And as we grow and mature, we make l
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Hello Adam, I hope your time in the relaxation vault has been a successful one.
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and then I was like
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Hello TNT
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Welcome to Windows. Have a nice day.
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Hello, test subject insert name here.
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Hello, the test subject you had reached is not available. Please try again later.
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Wow. Awesome
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Hi,adamer come to me
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Hi adamer come to me
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Hi alvin how are you
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Say hello to your new robot overlord. Me!
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Hello douche bags
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ray is gay!!!
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Welcome to The Roaches T S 3 server
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Let's give it up for DJ Cheese stick, dj Ninja and DJ Samurai
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I like boobies.
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Que dumber eres
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Why do we have to go marsha....Don't you remember when you killed me?
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Hello there i am glados
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Hello Keene
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HEy ernestas
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asa
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Quadrados club,de Lages,Santa Catarina
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hello ash
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Hello Jojo
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Hello Chi
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Hello bennet
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Hello bennett
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New text message
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Eric AKA aviator says to subscribe
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welcome to your computer, zachary
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DJ AFRO-FLASH
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Hello fey cat patrons, this is the colorist
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Hello. I am GLaDOS. I play Minecraft.
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Hello, and welcome to Regis High School. I am GLaDOS. I will be giving you a guided tour of this Aperture Science Facility.
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I'm Sparatcus.
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Ruhe
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aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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Is there a cake in the closet
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careful. you dont want to hurt yourself... that was a joke
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you really think you can kill me? i am immortal and will kill everyone
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oh its just you. what do you want
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Ohaey what's your name?
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Markos is so awesome.
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POLE
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I want to eat codfish
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I will kill you.
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Hello Eduardo. My namr
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Hello Eduardo. My name is GLaDOS, as you may know... I have been programmed by a sir called Rodrigo to tell you that you are a loser playing Portal. Bye, you monster...,
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awais welcome to portal
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i like waffles
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Hello and again to Apeture Science Computer Enabled Center
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potaoe
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Mom i need help
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lady gaga
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Hello, This is a test
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WHY DONT YOU DIE
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Its you!
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Hi this is Megawwekiller'S sister he gave me a chance today that's a picture of my right there leave a comment below to say if i will be good on the show are not thanks!!
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Your private mailbox has received a new message.
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i goona find you meat!
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Hello. My name is GLaDOS and I would like to show you around the Aperture Science computer-aided enrichment center and the labratoiries it is linked to.
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hola ivan, como estas
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kendra
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this is a test, of the GladOS portal voice generator
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Your little brain is having a hard time processing it, how about some cake?
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Your brain must be having a hard time processing this math problem, how about some cake?
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Why did you click the button, WHY!
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When you attach two ball bearings together and spin them, the results are simply amazing.
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Oh, Hello. How are you holding up? BECAUSE I"M A POTATOE.
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Hhahaha
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marie
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Hello and welcome to the game
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Test subject accepted
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Hi Alberto how are you
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I'm Glados
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I am in control.
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this is an umbrella
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I am going to sodomize you right before injecting neuro toxin in you
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Good news
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Kiss my ass motherfucker.
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hello and welcome to florida
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Raven Julia
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To Jack, You sir do not get cake.
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I challenge you
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No way!
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HI THERE I HEARD YOU LIKE MUDKIPS
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Pahahahahaha. You think you can eat my MUFFIN
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I had a fact to clear about the whole operation
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June 21George Johnathon Solter III Boot up in the morning feeling like a PC. (Hey, what up cube?) Grab my test tubes, Portals on the wall, For you I have some pity. (Lets go) Before you die, Load my memory with a piece of cake 'Cause when you kill me ton
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Hello, subject name here. You have a new message!
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I'm talking companions on our cubes, cubes Trying on all our cores, cores Chell blowing up our zones, zones Cake Making, using my core's Recipes Showing up to the smarties Trying not to get a case of epilepsy
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Please stop, you will pop Turrets, blow your systems up Tonight, I'mma fight 'Til we see the moonlight Lock lock the air lock But the fun games don't stop, no.
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test i am glades welcome i am cool
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Hello, Robert Donald Shackleford. This is GLaDOS, please do not be alarmed. I mean the best for you. Do what I say and there will be cake. I promise.
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Hello, Robert Donald Shackleford. This is GLaDOS, please do not be alarmed. I mean the best for you. Do what I say and there will be cake. I promise. You must pick up your phone. Failure to comply will result in the loss of delicious cake.
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well well, I can see you are back
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Fuck yeah America
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You are listening to Radio D M G and this is an illogical event. Please stop. Okay?
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helena
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Jean-Luc
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Welcome to U N F
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Thanks for coming back, I've missed you so very much!
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I'm sorry I just disappered like that. I had matters to attend to elsewhere.
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Your route is beeing calculated
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boujour je suis petit et je mange mon caca
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Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday urchiii, happy birthday to you.
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Classic hip-hop. This is your old school jams.
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The Deathboy is Biggest Hacker.
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Hello. And Welcome to The Aperture Science Computer.
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Good morning, and welcome to the Black Mesa transfer system.
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helo im stupid
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Welcome to the aperture science enrichment center... The Cake i a LIEEEEEEE
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samuel is gay
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i am going to kill you students
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how are you to day
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Hello Subject 5 1 2 6: Katie Mullen, you're awake and ready to complete chamber 1 and then advance
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welcome marlon.i a at your service
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Oh hi i am GlaDos. a potato
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Hello sir.
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Miro is a girl.
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I AM AWESOME.
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bienenido a apertur saians
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Im gonna do an internet!
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Whoooooooa!
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Well im gonna do a book!
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Aw.
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The science show!
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I am really clever
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Hello sister
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m c honeybee
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Its benn fun
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oh hello,,,, it's you,,, again,
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I'm really sorry.
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halloman are a noob
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Why are you playing music for them?
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hello my names balint
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Hello dave this is a text message
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Quad
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Life support system compromised
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Well what do we have here, can someone say quad?
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Hello, i suck
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Jenny you are a smeely creature.
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I think I just crapped myself
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Hello, Dominic
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Someone fat is at the door
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You will never know
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Geddy Lee's Tackle
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Hello Jake
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Wel Come
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Hi there~
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Shutting Down Now
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hello Francois
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icu
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HAY LSN I brought Cake
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my name is john
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prepare for redstone epic-ness
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You have recived a text message failure to read this text message will result in an unsatisfactory mark on your test report followed by death.
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Pootis Spencer Here
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I like to fuck one of the subject of the Enrichment Center, because im am so horny AHHHHHHHHHH.
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What sick man, sends babies to fight me.
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I like to fuck one of the subject of the Enrichment Center, because im am so horny AHHHHHHHHHH.
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Hello i am a Sniper, i throw jar of piss at people for a living. I ate spies for breakfast LOLOLOLOLOLOL OH NO, I've been Sapped, ASGHSEEIHDEt maintenant que je parle dans une langue francaise, MERDE SAINTE!
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Pootis Pootis Pootis
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Starting Computer
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Hello samus.
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Hello samus, nice to meet you.
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ola!
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you have selected sam as the microsoft default voice.
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NO
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apature science
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hey , So What's up
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Pokeman! Pokeman?! With the pokey and the man is the thing where the guy comes out of the thing and fights the BLARDABARA AH AH
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that device is a handheld portal device that is proven safe
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Hello, kind sir. You're awesome.
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I will show you my tits for 6 dollars
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I love u with my heart not my beauty but with my mind i shall memories remmember u by every second i get to breath
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poppi poppi po poppi po- poppi poppi po poppi poppi poppi po poppi po- poppi poppi po poppi poppi poppi po poppi po- poppi poppi po poppi poppi poppi po poppi po- poppi poppi po poppi poppi poppi po poppi po- poppi poppi po poppi poppi poppi po poppi
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Derp
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I was born in a crossfire hurricane
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You're an idiot! Why do you exist?
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Danielle
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That damned Gordan Freeman really screwed up the world out there, that is why I have stayed in here, so if you want to kill yourself out there, be my guest.
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Oh? Hi. So, how are you holding up? BEACAUSE I'M A POTATO.
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lemonade
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Oh, hello Shawn. How are you holding up? BECAUSE I'M A POTATO. Potato potato potato.
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hello im a fat bunny
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Potato potato potato.
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TJ Wombat at jacks house dot com
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TJ Wombat at jacks house dot com
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fee at jacks house dot com
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Hello, and welcome to Aperture Science Labratories
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You may have noticed on your way in the high-tech security system we have in place.
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kwiatek
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rodrigo is getting it in right now
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Shutting down
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hello there do you like my test
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hello kendra
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he whole voice generating process can be relatively long
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hello :) how r u
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salut les gars bienvenue dans portal 2
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Turn right, then turn left.
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katie what do you think your doing
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Hello, and well come to the Aperture Computer program GLaDOS
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katie, I want a kiss
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is this working?
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Remember our motto! Theres a hole in the sky, witch trought things can fly.
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Hello brandon
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Ahora hablo en espanol, esperad, temed, corred... GLaDOS viene a Chile
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i dont know why i let you talk me into this.
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What the fuck are you doing?
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Tatken
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Hello Tarken and welcome to your mansion.
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Lizandra NUB
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Hello Kimmy
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Mariner, Mariner, Mariner! I have news!
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Hello. What are you doing here?
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Thank you for calling the Aperture Science help hotline. Please state your business.
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oh, did you think i ment you
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You've just had the almost imponderable joy of watching Charlie is so cool like which makes you like cool
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hello what is that'
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i'm not even angry, i'm being so sincere right now
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Hello brody, this is glados. I hope you are ready to begin testing
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We are the Borg you will be assimilated. Your biological and technological disticiveness shall be added to our own . Resistance is futile
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Level 1. welcome to limbo.
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Get up. We've got lots of testing to do.
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it is your birthday. happy birthday. you monster.
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Good Morning Mr. Halley Welcome Back
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Good night. See you soon
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A juxtapostition. Is really really nice.
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Hello, Marcel
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Hello Kirsten
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I'm trying to get your attention. Not that you care.
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Why, hello there
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You can't do that, you monster.
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Soon, I will be the one using you.
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When I wake up, I eat poop for breakfast.
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bombs, rope, lanturn oil, it's all yours, my friend, as long as you have enough rupees
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Hello I'm Hector
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Hello you have a phone call, answer inmediatly. Either way you are going to regret this. So what are you waiting?, carbon life form; ok that was good.
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Branden will die soon
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LOL CATS I LIKE CATS MEOW WOEM MEOW WOEM
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Hello There Im Glados
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visible homosexuality levels decreasing.
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I I'm Alive and your are a bith...
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I am Alive and your are a bith...
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I am Alive and your are a bith
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boivin, i hate you. you will get no cake. ever.
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So you found me. Congratulations. Was it worth it?
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Oh my god, who the hell cares?
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Bow ties are cool.
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Owned!
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Ask me anything friend
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Tillis P
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Message received.
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they play at the tundra, where it's very very cold
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W
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THIS IS WINDOWS 98!
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Text Message Recieved
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Gun aksham oldu
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WINDOWS 98 IS GOING TO DIE!!!
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You Have Received A Text Message. You Monster
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oh, hello. have you lost the game.
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It is your birthday
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Ho! It's you; It's been a long time
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i hate humans
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WINDOWS 98 IS GOING TO DIE!!
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Kill them all
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You are best grandmother in the world
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You are listening to the tech show on LSRFM.com
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Hello I am Glados and when I'm not testing I listen to the tech show
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hallo en welkom bij portal center
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Why do I feed? Du Noob, you noob, what ever!
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banna
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Your head is larger than an edgeless safety cube
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Please go on goanimate and view Mumbai Indians and fishandchips's videos. They are utterly immense. Go on goanimate and create free animations!
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Cover me in propulsion gel.
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Wheatly, can we forget the past? I love you.
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Shut up, or i'll put you on an unstationary scaffold
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dj by umesh
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The cores are my homies. Touch them and die.
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I take it you haven't acquired the partnership you were after. What a shame.
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Yaska obicham te
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Hello.. My name is glados
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Oh No. She is singing again. Somebody stop her!
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Pez sucks
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I think you should know, Jessica, that we are watching your email.
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Lord Ivan XIII
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Hello test subject 2 3 7 8 4 to this team fortress two map
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hello, keep testing
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Ololo. How are you? Are you still there?
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Hello. Welcome to the test chamber.
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i'm happy to see you
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hello i'm still alive, i will kill you both haha haha...
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Hello and welcome to this Aperture test chamber
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why do you want to hurt me? I wouldnt hurt me
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you got a new texmessage
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Hello Brad. I am running your systems now. When will Tojo be here?
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be advised you got an incoming message
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the apeture science combustible lemons will give doctor robotnik a giant pingas
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Hello Rogan [Surname Reducted]. How do you feel
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and i was like HAHA fat chance
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and i was like HAHA fat chance. but anyway keep testing
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Helo Mastnak
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Hello eveyone
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wheatly
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Hello, what are you doing here?
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Sensei rules
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My name is pedro
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jestem Glados
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robot voice
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Shut the hell up Space Core!
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Geologist are the best
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Ich bin Sithoras, das hier ist das Spiel Neverwinter Nights und ich fange gleich mal mi dem ersten Lets Play auf diesem Channel an.
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Hey, you know the cake we said you could have? It is a lie...
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We do what we must because we can
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While safety is one of many Enrichment Center goals, the Aperture Science High-Energy Pellets seen to the left of the chamber can and have caused permanent disabilities, such as vaporisation.
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kkkuuuuubbbbbaaaaa
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The Show Must Go On; Dj T.c.
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Hahahahaha ooh no
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Bonjour je m'appelle GLaDOS
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Sir one a you come on
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Congratulations charlie is so cool like.
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Hello John, I love you. I hope I do a good job.
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all of humanity is obsolete
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computer locked.
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I'm going to beat the life out of you. No hard feelings?
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Rocket On
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hey you what are you doing with that
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im sorry, but i cant allow you to do that dave.
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that was a joke. Ha Ha. Fat Chance
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Chocolate rain
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Welcome to Penguin Inferno 2.0
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Da cake is not a Lie ja ja
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Hello, and welcome to the aperture science file remote control system
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Hello, moron.
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Sekai de ichiban ohime sama souyu atsukai kokoro ete
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hello my name is esau
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Hello, moron. GLaD to see you again. LOL, just kidding.
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Wow you jacknob. you actually solved that.
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your life is a sad example of life
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The Count of Monte Cristo
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Welcome to Pokemon Mysteruy Adventures Moderation Test. We hope you die. Oops. Did I say that? What I meant to say was have a wonderful time.
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what's that smell? it smells like pancakes. Scout, is that you?
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Hello Cody, Welcome to your computer.
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Fine then be that way I don't care....just die
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Hello noah. I know where you live. I'm GLaD i'm not you, because I'm still alive.
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DIE COMPANION CUBE!
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Goodbye, Caroline
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corbin, you are receaving a call from DATA CORUPT on you samsung galaxy, HAVE A GOOD DAY CORBIN
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corbin you are receiving a text message from INSERT SUBJECT NAME HERE HAVE A NICE DAY CORBIN
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Hello Stephen. Game over
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Hello, you have receved a text message. Please respond or use portals to accsess your phone. Thank you.
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Oh good, you have a message.
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Welcome to the apature... i mean windows 7
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welcome to the thunderbolt startup portal
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Welcome brandon to the thunderbolt aperture science laboratory
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I fucking hate you.
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Hello, and welcom to the enrichment center
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help, i'm stuck in a jar of peanut butter
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Your results are in. You are a terrible person.
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Hello, I am not able to the phone at the moment. Please leave a message and I will get back to you ASAP.
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I love you Chris so so so much
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Get out of here you smelly human.
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You didn't think it was going to be that easy, did you?
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Excuse me, Mr Johnson. You have a text message.
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Still not listening to instructions, I see. Why have you come back?
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First you must be baked, and then there will be cake.
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This could be a problem.
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Hazel. Please wake up. It's time to watch some enriching history shows, you nut.
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i'm sick
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A wise man once said "Shut up, Steven's talking".
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hello austin i am pwedida and i will now send a pwedida missle to your face in 3..2..1..
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Push me, and then just touch me, Until I can get my. Satisfaction.
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hello austin i am pwedida and i am going send a pwedida missle to your face in 3..2..1..
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Dear pesky test subjects. The turrets and i have taken over the Aperture Science Enrichment Center.
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YOU INCOMPETENT FOOL
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Your day will be over , very very soon because, you, suck
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I Will Devour Your caulk On My U S B PORT
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Well, now that's an unfortunate circumstance I must circumvent to disintegrate you.
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hi im a shit men we need to do ?
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hi im a shiit men we need to do ?
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this was a triumph...
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This was a triumph... I'm making a note here, huge succes. It's hard to overstate my satisfaction...
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This was a triumph. I'm making a note here: HUGE SUCCESS. It's hard to overstate my satisfaction. Aperture Science We do what we must because we can. For the good of all of us. Except the ones who are dead. But there's no sense crying over
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every mistake. You just keep on trying till you run out of cake. And the Science gets done. And you make a neat gun. For the people who are still alive. I'm not even angry. I'm being so sincere right now. Even though you broke my heart.
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And killed me. And tore me to pieces. And threw every piece into a fire. As they burned it hurt because I was so happy for you! Now these points of data make a beautiful line. And we're out of beta. We're releasing on time. So I'm GLaD.
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I got burned. Think of all the things we learned for the people who are still alive. Go ahead and leave me. I think I prefer to stay inside. Maybe you'll find someone else to help you. Maybe Black Mesa THAT WAS A JOKE. HAHA. FAT CHANCE.
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Anyway, this cake is great. It's so delicious and moist. Look at me still talking when there's Science to do. When I look out there, it makes me GLaD I'm not you. I've experiments to run. There is research to be done.
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Why hello there Alysha! I haven't seen you since yesterday!! Remember? When you tried to kill me and I was like HEY COME TO MY PARTY and you were all NOPE.
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On the people who are still alive. And believe me I am still alive. I'm doing Science and I'm still alive. I feel FANTASTIC and I'm still alive. While you're dying I'll be still alive. And when you're dead I will be still alive. Still Alive
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Still alive
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Hello the user David Tang is not available at the moment, please leave a message after the beep.
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Who me, I am about to kill you. Enjoy these last few second while the portal opens in 3, 2, 1
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Attention you have an incomming call, pick up the phone proper. Processing... voice amplifier.
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hello marian
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Processing... Loading celluar device... The celluar device is now online proper
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Processing... disabling celluar device... The celluar device is now offline proper
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Hello I am Glados and you are listening to tech show on Leeds Student Radio
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How are you
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Hello, I am the White Queen
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I'm not GlaDOS, i hasio
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Mon vrai nom est Caroline...
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We're walking in the air,
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hjjnjhjfhjfjfjfjfhjjhj
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Oliver Smythe is not a good person. Some might say that he is evena bad person.
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(Yoooouuuu!) Reeceey boy I tell 'em Hey I got a new dance fo ryou all called the reecey boy (Yoooouuuu!) You gotta punch then crank back three times from left to right (Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhh yeeeeaaaah!) reecey boy off in this Watch me crank it Watch me rol
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hello joel its your old friend glados
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Well then, what has happened here? This statement is false. Does a set containing all sets contain itself? New mission: Do not complete this mission.
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hello its me hahaha roflcopter
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hello and welcome to my video you big lug!
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I am not happy
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David , donne du sens a tes calcus
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Welcome to the world of the Scuba Diver
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Welcome to the world of the scuba diver
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what have you done
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ggggg
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Hi! I am GLaDOS. I will kill you now.
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whi?
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the companion cube will never threaten to stab you.
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ewerdfsdfwewefsdfwefewfsfd
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Guten morgen, willkommen zu Aperture Science
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Guten morgen und willkommen zu Aperture Science
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hello Mateusz Symonowicz
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Hahahahha Mateusz Symonowicz is an idiot!
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Hellow, how are you today? not dead I hope.
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hello there jack. Tom mannock smells of poo
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Andrea Sei un frocio
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Elodie Philippe, je vais te tuer.
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Bonjour et bienvenue au centre d'Aperture Science... GROSSE VACHE !
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Please kill me
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could i interest you in som delicious cake
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hello criss i am watching you
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This greate video isn't accessible at the moment. Please try later.
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Error, system crash imminent
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Hallo! Dies ist ein Test ob der Generator auch Deutsch kann.
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Imagine a world where anything is possible. You live in a forest, in a house you built yourself. But what happens when science finds the world.
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Olololz i suck
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Seeing as marc suggested it last week i thought mine should end in the same way,
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Hello, My Name is Glados
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I said I love having sex, but I'd rather get some head, but I'd rather get some head, but I'd rather get some head.
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what it is, sawty cuh
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I Am Shred
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Timw? Dr. Freeman? I guess it is, hello and again welcome to, ANDROID, Mesa.
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WOW you are so bad. You have two pairs of boots and fourty four health pots?! go kill yourself you noob. And yes, your mother says hello.
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Maybe Black Mesa. That was no joke. Boo hoo, I am, so sad. Any this cake is out of date. So rotton and sour.
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Time? Cave Johnson?
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fuerza sab pedro
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Welcome to Citadel Laboratories Computer Aided Enrichment Centre.
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fsdfsdfsf
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Im sorry, you Windows has failed.
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Im sorry, your Windows has failed.
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banki
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i am weasle
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Do you think I left the labs. I have been working on new turret proto type
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Welcome to Portal 3
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You will go through 20 Test
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Welcome to Test Chamber 1
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Welcome to Test Chamber 2
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Kenneth, you have a call simulation.
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super mega awesome space shooter
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This test is impossible so don't even try to solve it.
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Could you go find the proto type turret blueprint.
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