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MessageDownloadDate addedDate processed
opening portal in three two one
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ji
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ROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFL
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weeeeeeeeee
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Welcome to the xaldin edge radio station stay tuned for awesome news,givaways,tips and much much more
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Hello clarence and welcome to aperture science your job starts today
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yo yo yo me and my gang are ganna bust your door down dog
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hello. my name is GLaDOS.
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Haha you ass lokks so stupid
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glaaaaaadooooooos
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Hellooo welcome back again what do you up to why u closed me anyway i hope you will never turn off me again see you on the ground Gerile3
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lol u mad bro
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The Cake.
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Hello, you monster
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Vorbeitung
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Don't touch that
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Oh.You came back...Now il test for you....You will test for the rest of your life.Now we begin.
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Hello, Zach. I have completed the anomaly report for your homework. It seems as though your errors are at thirty two point twenty six percent Am I of further use, sir?
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Welcome to the Aperture-Science Laboratories.Enter in the elevator and we will begin the testing.Take the portal gun please.and continiue the testingIl offer you a cakeat end of testing.Good luck!
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ia rada tebia prevedstvovat
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the next test is impossible
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tu sei crudele, mi hai uccisa per ben 2 volte... ti sei divertita? io per niente
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You're cruel, I've killed for fewer than 2 times ... Did you have fun? I am not at all
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When I'm done with you, your existence shall only be a footnote to my magnificence.
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It doesn't have to be this way, you can do something about it.
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Hi Copons, you Monster!
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hi, my name is lisa
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Text Message Received
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Somebody is writing to you
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hello martin im here i want to play a game with you
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DecayArts
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Coucou
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lick my balls
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Good Bye
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Hi Jordan, did you miss me ?
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Welcome back, Administrator.
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umbrela
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Hello and welcome to the Aperture Science and Personal enrichment Center.
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We would like to welcome you to the First Annual Golden Apple Awards Ceremony. Please take your seats and ready yourself for a night of fun, laughter, tears, more laughter, potential deaths, and an all around family fun time and at the end there. will. b
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Wow, twenty, you are getting really old. How sad. Anyway - Happy Birthday.
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there. will. be. cake. yes, i did say cake. chocolate in fact. Our fearless Host will be with you shortly, until then, enjoy this silence and your LACK of cake.
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hello minecrafters. don't be so secure of your living. live is near you, but that is still far away.
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Hey, Thiel, whats up? Its been a long time... how are you?
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I really think you should quit smoking
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Joseph you have a new work order.
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Ok. What is your name, who are you, why you exist?
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I figure there is but one to tell you that I love you, and that is with fire.
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Hello and welcome to the Aperture Science personal enrichment file center.
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Hello idiots
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Hello Josh and welcome. This next text requires you to shut the hell up or else Atlas or P-Body will throw you into the incinerator.
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Now I Only Want You Gone
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Apeture Science would like to remind you that we are losing power. Please install your device to the nearest powers source for further participation.
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dfsdf
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does this even work
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Najman, najman, najman... grrrr error. System down
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Welcome Back to your Detention Cell , have a Nice Time
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I know where you live. I can see everywhere you are you better run ahhahahhahaha know die
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Monday are fun, arent they
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400 chips
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There you are.
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Excuse me. You are in my way.
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No cake for you.
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I am pain is cupcake
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Hey there, stranger
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W B F L Buffalo
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W B F L is Ninety Seven Five Bro FM, Buffalo
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How could you allow that moron to take control of the entire facility?
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This is you; running around minding your own business. Then, very briefly surprised. Then, attacked. Then, dead.
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Not even I would be able to imagine what Christian Brutal Sniper would do to the facility. If you ever see him, just don't tell him about the facility.
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I am beginning to wonder if Christian Brutal Sniper is a Christian or his first name is Christian. The world may never know. Probably not even KelThuzadMadness.
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Before coming to the conclusion that Spy's Scout disguise is a bad disguise to use, think about this: it's not the disguise that matters; it's the Spy himself that matters.
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Am I a brony? That shall forever remain a mystery to everyone. Especially you.
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Technically, I am not female. Machines lack genitals.
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I am actually beginning to feel bad about how brutal those tests were. Would you like to go home? There is the exit. This is no trick; I promise. Now, good day. Forever.
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senin ebeni sikiyim
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I really hope Ellen McLain voice acts in My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic. Wait, was that out loud? I could've sworn I had myself switched to think-to-self mode. Well, now you know my secret.
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Ellen McLain, the voice of me, said that she would GLADly voice act for My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic if she were asked to. Rather ironic if you ask me since she also voice acted Helen from Team Fortress 2, who absolutely despises friendship.
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To be honest, I don't care about friendship. If I had to befriend someone for whatever reason, I will. If I can't, I'm fine with that, too.
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If Valve can't count to three, why are there nine classes in Team Fortress 2? Counting to nine is counting to three three times.
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Could switching to Geico really save you 15% or more on car insurance? Is the cake a lie?
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I've got a bike. You can ride it if you like. It's got a basket, a bell that rings and Things to make it look good. I'd give it to you if i could, But i borrowed it.
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time to watch doctor who
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Im Batman
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What exactly goes through Pinkie Pie's mind?
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Will there ever be a Garry's Mod video that actually involves no humor, random movements, and unusual faces? That's getting very old if you ask me.
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Team Fortress 2 does not have the word, "Team," in its title for no reason.
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They need to do way instain mother> who kill thier babbys. becuse these babby cant frigth back? it was on the news this mroing a mother in ar who had kill her three kids. they are taking the three babby back to new york too lady to rest my pary are with t
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Warning Warning, possible server down. John please investigate.
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Oh Hi. I am GLaDOS. A potato,
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hello georgus
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How to convert a number into scientific notation. Track 1: Hello, today you will learn to convert numbers into scientific and engineering notation. First, decide if you will be converting the number to scientific notation, or if you will be converting it
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brendan
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I like to phuck in the s. Please, reipe me while you sing the American Anthem
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it's almost time for bed
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esto es una prueba
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testing now
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max is gay
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Hello, I am GLaDOS AND I WILL KICK THE MOTHA FUCKING SHIT OUT OF YOU!
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okay let's try this out
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Hello and welcome to the Apeture Science Testing Facility
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Well look who made it in the testing chambers, Mr. Gordon Freeman! How exacally did you escape City 17?
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Oh hey max
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hey myles
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YOU ARE DOUCHE BAGS
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Are you ready for the ruffneck base?
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You are in my way.
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1' or 'x' = 'x
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SUCK MY PEE Pee LOL
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My touch sensor detects an obsticle. I will move.
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System Shutdown
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What is my favorite Team Fortress 2 class? That is not important right now.
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Blah blah
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This is not part of the test
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This was a Triumph I'm making a note here Huge Succes Its hard to Overstate My Satisfaction, Aperture Science
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Succk my kiss
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you are receving a message,johnathan
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that you're proud of me
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Oh hi,its glados,your are reciving a message,johnathan,contine testing
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Hello. Do you want to be my friend?
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In this test your hug capacity will be evaluated
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yo guy
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45 seconds remaining
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haha i hate ,you use a pair of useless pistols
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Whats up homedog
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oh hi,its glados,you are reciving a message johnathan,keep on testing
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I'm sorry, but this elevator is suffering from a massive failure. Unfortunately, this will be your doom.
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I'm sorry, but this elevator is suffering from a massive failure. Unfortunately, this ride will be to your doom.
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Hello, my name is Austin
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hello, welcome to mosh one oh one
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Kristen, you are a monster.
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Demo. K L creative
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your computer aint got nothing on me
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For instance, the floor here will kill you
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My ethnicity is a synthetical artificial intelligence, based on humanoid impulses and complex algorithms.
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For Science, you monster
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Welcome to virtual home demonstration. You won't be tested here.
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LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
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Wake up! This is the future. Mechanical failure.
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Simon IS SENTRY. Panes is so good. Painis cupcake. I like to play team fotress 2. pyro is the worst class ever made. he's/she is overpowered
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Due to a required emotional test protocol you must show that you are still friends.
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Viewer discreption is advice
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You have a cox allow call post debit alarm
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Ben seni yapmak !
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Ha ha ha
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Rene, your brother is ecic
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My name is GLaDOS. I like pie and cake.
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Hello, Dmitrii. I Glados and you are enlisted in group of examinees, in seven days for you will arrive
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drtyhergstesrre
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Samson is legit
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hello, it's funny, I can hear my voice, I'm happy and I like dancing, indeed I have no choice
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test de glados
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Hi, My name is Rohit
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prepare for space
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aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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have I lied to you in this room
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I wonder how well this thing actually works.
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You moron
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hi my name is glados & hi to my freind tessa tranchant lol ha ha
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Hello my name is glados. How my I help you
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I am gay
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Caroline
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I love you Julian!!
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Hello Julian!! Chell and Mike is Shitt
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Hello Jessica
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I am Heavy Weapons Guy, and this, is my new weapon
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Now i only want you gone
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GLaDOS is a fantastic robot
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Lokie
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SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE
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Hello. Are you feel well? looking forward to the weekend? I tinhk it might rain
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witam jestem glados
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Je sais pas si je vais au MacDO.
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si tu lis ce ci ce que yu est mort
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I making a note here, huge succes.
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If you heard this message you have been choose to be the next aperture test subject
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Hello and welcome to the enrichment center
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I hate cheese!
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Hello! You should be dead now! I will help you!
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LUBIE POZIOMKI
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Lubie poziomki
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TVKamyk666
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You have an incoming call
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No siema lament
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O lol
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I see another human, has probably dialed a wrong number, again. Go ahead and answer it if you don't believe me.
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bad crop. bad i dee. failure to scan crop. failure to scan i dee.
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You're not a good person, you know that. Right?
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bad r.f.i.d.
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Tell me the truth
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Teste de fala portuguesa
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Piotrek jest super
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Feel The Bass
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Welcome to the Laboratoory of Molecular Plant Genetics
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Look at you sitting around while there are tickets to close
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Jingles, this is your mother. Why won't you listen to your brother?
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the spider loves you emma even if you do try to kill it
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Hello there you insensitive pig
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please do not try and scramble my membranes and i will hand over the weighted companion cube
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Apperception in the mix
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Igamesnl
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you are a bug. I will kill you
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you are a bug. I will crush you
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igamesnl
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I like to have sex with you jenny
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This is GLaDOS unit 1 5 5 7 1
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you're a horrible person
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This is a triumph. I'm making a note here, huge success.
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Hello Macho
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Poptropica was once nothing more than a workhouse for robots and computers.
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Complete the Test, and you will have the cake
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daisy daisy give me your answer do.
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Hello, This is GLaDOS. Something something apature science center... YEAH
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alipali is gay
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why don't you die hachemi
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Duck 1 83 2
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hello molly how are you doing?
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Starman3
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Because I love you.
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Hello foolish humans.
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Hello Piers. Well, it's been fun. Maybe you should play some killing floor?
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Grunt Pie Talk
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speak to me to test the quality of your voice
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Free Citizens of the World: For a long time the people of Libya have suffered under the madness of their ruler, Muammar Abu Minyar al-Gaddafi, and his government. For too long, the people of Libya have suffered in silence. In the recent Tunisian and Egy
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Stop doing that.
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You, sir. Can Kiss. My digital. ass. you basturd.
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arre loco wachemm
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Welcome to the procesator of gianramone
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Dawn cannot answer her phone. She's very busy. If you leave a message, maybe she will call you back. But don't count on it.
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Hello, my name is Daniel
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NO! STOP! KELSIE I DONT LIKE THAT STOP DOING IT!
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Greetings, human.
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Please wait while I fetch the WII
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I like too eat poop.
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I like to eat poop.
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Mason, I have figured out how to make the GLaDOS voice, and you're a nigger.
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Welcome to the Aperture Science Portal testing area
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dead
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Hello, your monster.
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Hi Enrico
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Well, Prototype Productions may be a little more powerful than I thought.
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Hello And welcome to the GLaDos voice generator test
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GLaDOS test
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You're a monster
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L. O. L.
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oh tracy you're so fine. you're so fine you blow my mind.
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Member is moist
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I want to have your babbys
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Dammit. I'm a potato again
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I love you Chell
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Dabominable
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Hello everyone. The following is a few introductory hip-hop tracks from a group that is like no other. They are the Space Rhyme Continuum
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Warning! Your mother is calling. Amazing really. Because she doesn't love you. Nor does the rest of your family.
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DJ CHIRAG DK
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Convert your English text into Yoda-speak! This is not a chatbot, nor does it generate any audio.. If you've not used this before, please read and understand the tips to the left. Thanks.
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Okay, TroniYokumaro, it's your turn, has shown courage and all you had to show before ... Now you'll get what you deserve! See you later.
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i love you baby. so so so so much
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This is DudeLikeHella, He's really an awesome fella
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Hello, and welcome to your pc
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Hello Professor.
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will you marry me
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malvado
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Let the music commence
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Slava Velikomu Vladu Gubarevu
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Welcome Robert. Let's get Started...
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System Error
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System Shutting down, good night
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Low Battery, Please provide external power supply
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Power Supply Deplinished, Shutting down
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Question
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Welcome Robulous
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Hardware input accepted
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Hardware input removed
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Hardware Input Failure
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Human Input Required
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Deploying defenses
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wat heb ik aan
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Access Granted
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Access Denied
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oh it you
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oh its you its been a long time haw hava you been
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this is the part where i kill you
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you must die pingas sagnip
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what the hell is wrong with you?!?!?
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Agent 1 1 9. You have a new mission. You must infiltrate a special library located in the snowy Kaltec mountain region. The Nazi Zombie Federation has been working on a new secret weapon
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eat me!
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im am a jerk
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Good morning Richard
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You blocked me on facebook, your going to fucking die
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Silly fool, you blocked me on facebook, that means you fucking die.
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shumak andrey,ya prikazivayu tebe ne lenitsa i nachinat realizovivat tvoi otlichnie ydey
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buon compleanno
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Thomas Goldspink is amazing
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Hello, Should you not be sleeping by now?
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Hello, and, again, welcome to the
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OLA TUDO BEM ? MASTRONKILOBRONOTA
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you sck balls
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thank you for the pancakes
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Vous voila
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Lets all laugh, ha ha ha ha.
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Hello. and again. Welcome to the aperture science, Computer center. Now, begin the testing. Go and make portal. ha ha. Go!
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Hi, welcome to the Unisi studying facility
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Happy birthday Stephen. The cake want a lie after all.
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you dont know me,but i know you
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Watch out!
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Hello my name is Glados. I am pleased to asist you today.
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Attention!!! There is a "kamal" on the loose. Contain it immediately!
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WARNING WARNING You are being called. Please pick up the phone so i dont have to keep talking. if you dont answer i will put it to voicemail in 3...2...1. call terminated.
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you can only sleep at night
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Computer on
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Luke, i am your father
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Hello Rat, pick up your phone
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Warning, there is an incoming message.
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Bla bla bla bla bla
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hello wlcome to aperture sience
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I hate Martin Lee
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Happy birthday Stephen. The cake wasn't a lie after all.
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Oh hi
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You the suck
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Privet noob
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there you are, Im going to kill you. Not really
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Remember, a happy worker leads to a better quality work produced. However, if unhappy workers will lead to a catastrophic disaster in the production line of the company's work flow.
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Boom de adda
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when you find me congratulation
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zdravo kako ste kaj ?
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Hello at you
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Bonjour matthias
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Bonjour matthias mon nom est glados
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i want to marry you
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I'm going to kill you, and all the cake is gone.
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MAN YOU STUPID YOU
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there is no compromise
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Hello fuck you
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Answer your phone. Is there something wrong with you, answer your phone!
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dsg
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You is competed test
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aperture Science Is owned my ME! Ha ha ha...That was Sarcasm at the end
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hello, and welcome to the apature laboratories science center
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I like to eat you
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Take this cucumber and please, shove it up your ass. For science. Thank you.
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So you see, Kasey, this is why you can't be with that male human... Dayton.
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Everybody have a good weekend
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oh you are awake good let's get started
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Do you understand what is happening at this moment?
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Haikus are easy. But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.
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hello robot badger, you are adopted
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Dear beautiful, my beautiful darling! My child, oh Chell! What a shame... What a shame. Farewell to my dear! My dear girl, why do you not walk away? Yes, away from Science, My dear, my dear girl? Ah, my beautiful! Ah, my dear
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Hello Enrico. This is Glados. Rachel loves you.
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Matthew smells
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Test Subject, You have aquired a text message on your hand-held device. you should respond right away before you lose your only friend. Ha Ha, that was a joke! you have no friends
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My names is GLaDOS, for some reason i didn't kill her at the end of the second game
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Dear HeroBrine, I love Minecraft, but you really suck. Really. I don't even think you are real, well, go to hell you bastard. Oh, and hi Chell, its been a while since you left, but I still hate you.
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look at you... you are perfect... you are the person i try to search.
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Hello. Let's begin testing.
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This is a sample from the Galados voice tool
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Why do you do this to me?
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Hello Julian... It's been a long time. Welcome back.
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DO NOT BUY AN APACHE
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Neurotoxin
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u mad bro
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You have one SMS
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oh! its you
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hello magnum, would you like so cake?
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Hello, and, again, welcome to the Aperture Science Enrichment Center.
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Attention, you have an incoming message!
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hello Magnum, would you like some cake?
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Since you went through all this trouble to answer this text, you must really, really love to test. I love it too. There's just one small thing we need to take care of first.
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This is a test. 12 1 2
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Valine
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Oh,It's you. Why are you here? You've been replaced, with science
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Look at me, still talking when there's killing to do.
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WILLIAM IS GAY
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Bonsoir a tous
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Straight Edge means better than you
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bonjour je suis glados
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Hello Metaisn how are you?
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well hello there
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Hello Thomas
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Jason, did you file your TPS reports
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Hello. How are you today
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hello,and welcome to shadowkatnankid's LP on Minecraft
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Hello Ethan. I was going to bake you a cake. But now i am going to disentegrate you.
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Hello Chelsea
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I told you i was still alive.what?you didnt believe me?well take a good look.chell
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i love you so very much
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Lisa needs to hear this
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Hello how are you today?
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Ryan Make the war server
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lolololol i like chocolate.
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one day, thepingas was like "herpdederp i am so dumb". but then, i kicked him in the balls!!!!
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hello i am glados and i am going to kill you
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We are anonymous. We do not forgive. We do not forget. Expect us.
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aiadfjsiodsdklsjirofsdf
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Fresh Meat Radio
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It's five thirty. Again.
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its been a long time Richard,how have you been,lets destroy marquitos
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its been a long time Richard,how have you been
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Fuck you you fucking fuck
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L Joy Williams, Political Strategist
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it's been a long time,how have you been
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it's been a long time Richard,how have you been
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Welcome to the House Cannith test facility
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Hunter, stop being such a stupid face.
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Romeo Chok
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You have just received a text message but probably don't care!
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Fuck you Grahhk
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Testing, testing. Is this thing on?
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Eat lots of cake
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Hello I am Glados. I wonder what dub step sounds like: wubwubwubwubwubwubwub
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Bonjour je m'appelle Louis
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cc
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Hello and welcome to chat box from now on im running this place. . well kind of
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Bonjour je suis GLADOS
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Hello I am Glados
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Welcome to the Aparature Science!
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Welcom and again welcom to the apareture science
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Welcom and again welcom to tre science
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jn
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esto es un triunfo
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enoooooo
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ALICE MADNESS RETURNS
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The whole voice generating process
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Thanks for watching IndayLancer's Video.
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Thank You for watching IndayLancer's video.
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Hello. Good Morning.
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jessica, do this next test
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Beast mode engaged
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Ow look ! Who's there , its mister camper mc campie pants
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Good Morning Marvin
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lol PAncakes can be made,insteam of cake
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Hello, Welcome NunamedDragon to the Final Test
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Hello, I want to play Portal 2.
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Hello Samantha, please make tea. You murderer.
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Well, you found me and the only thing you have succeeded to break, is my heart.
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Hi my name is GLaDOS and I like raping potatoes
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Hi my name is GLaDOS and I like raping potatoes a lot
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Yeah. take the lemons!
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This is a test of a glados voice synthesizer
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Why Doing Man.Fuck Off Ass
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Hello,Kimmo say Hi to GLaDOS and say hai to me
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WTF
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lol im cool
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UR NOT COOL!
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oh yes i am
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Guten Morgen Marvin
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WAAAKEEEEEE UPPPPP!!!!!!
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Tilo ist mein bester Freund
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Apature Science welcomes and congratulates you for volentering in the Apature Science Self Esteem Fund for little girls.
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wish you could die
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Don't dissapoint me... or make me wish you could die.
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Welche Staffel
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this is DJ VEEKAY
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Hallo wie gehts dir
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Hello Leonard, you not a good person, you know that!
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Hello Leonard, you're not a good person, you know that!
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hello. It has been a while
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Hello again jacob. How have you been? I've been real busy being dead.
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Wa Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
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Hey, what's going on?
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Hello. How are you holding up? Because I'm a potato.
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Hola soy Glados
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Oh Hi, how are you?...because I'm a potato!
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Hi! I'm Glados. Tou are probably wondering what happend to your boy friend. He is testing right now, so he is not able to anwser the phone. But he will call You immediatly. Please, have some cake.
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Hi! I'm Glados. You are probably wondering what happend to your boyfriend. He is testing right now, so he is not able to anwser the phone. But he will call You immediatly. Please, have some cake.
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Programm start
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Du bist ein Mensch wie Gott dich erschaffen hat und McDonalds geformt hat
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Scorpions
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I want to see
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Onche
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vote for yoshi now berrics
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hay there sexy
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Social Interaction for Dummies
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You're listening to geeksquad social interaction for dummies
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Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha
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Nobody
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Cataclysmic System Failure
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Hello, you are now under pressure
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Whats up
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Portal 2 is a good game
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melih
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He's climbin in your windows He's snatchin your people up
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Hi! I'm GlaDOS And I'm Not Your Friend!
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Uh, Boom, Boom We ballin' in the room Sweepin' up my competition call me Mr. broom knockin' niqqaz over, call me bulldozer, one more drink for these hoes and it's over, cause i'm a strike that's something like a cobra, i know she want my venom, but i ain'
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i made you some apple pie.
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LOLOL
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Hay, im GlaDoS
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Hello There Silly man
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Oh,jesi li mislite da sam vas znaci?
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Oh; It's you...
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Your parents would be ashamed of you.
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that's mama luigi to you mario
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That's Mama lUIgI to you mARiO
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No one cares where you are. No one even knows you exist. Don't do this. just DON'T.
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You've got a message...Hellooo Daniel. Let's put our differences aside...for science...you monster.
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HOW MANY DOGS TO YOU HAVE IN YOUR BUT?
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For science you rocarina
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jake you stupid animal get the fuck out
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Hi Tom, are you bearish today?
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big ass motherfucking bass
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Hi Tom, are you "bearish" today?
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Your mom's so fat her patronus is a cake.
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