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MessageDownloadDate addedDate processed
Hello there. What is your name? Oh wait, I don't care.
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Welcome to woozy films channel. Subscribe now or you dont get cake
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Will you please unban arin3?
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The Future. Arty J. To The Top
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Does anyone want some Pound cake?
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hello you killed my friend over there in know
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Hello, and welcome to the Aperture Science Testing Center. By entering the chamber, you have agreed to several rounds of experimentation to further the goals of the scientific community.
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I am going to kill you, chell.
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I'm sure you've packed, but you're going to have to leave everything here.
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come here vader
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That's like the first time I've even seen you.
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Hello, and welcome to The667Bros Custom map adventure. Please give us a thumbs up if you liked this video. Thank you
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The time is six thirty. But i wouldn't worry about that.
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why hello there ive been waiting
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Oh my god. Why did i not think to google this before
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Summon Felguard
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I have been expecting you.
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Hello, and again, welcome to rev soul sim social showering bot
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Oh Hi. I am GLaDOS. A potato.
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Mr Stokes, you have a new message.
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U think castle crashers is gonna solve your problems, its not. acually, it makes them worse. dont play casle crashers. play portal 2.
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hello thomas this is a test to see if it is worthwile to send this to my love
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Bird! Bird! Eat it! It's tasty!
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hi ther
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Elliot. You should keep playing this game. It gives your life some sense of meaning you might have lost otherwise.
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out of site out of mind
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A ban was set
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Paul, I think that it is your turn.
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Hello Nicholas
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Hello, Might I ask who you are?
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Luis Landa has been captured by a flying saucer and can't come to the phone right now, but if you leave your name, phone number, and a message; I'll have him call you back as soon as he gets away. Read all about it in next week's National Enquirer.
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bleep
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bloop
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I am GLaDOS
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Hello. Welcome Tyler
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That you for calling the phone of ... Charles Horton.
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CAke
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Iron is a chemical element with the symbol Fe (from Latin: ferrum) and atomic number 26. It is a metal in the first transition series. It is the most common element in the whole planet Earth, forming much of Earth's outer and inner core, and it is the fou
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Hello and wellcome to power dodge please enjoy
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i like potatos and bacon cuz im retard
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I'm a fatty
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Hello, My Name Is GLaDOS. Come To The Test So I Can See How Well You Are.
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im going to kill you
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trev
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Someone is attempting to contact you on your mobile phone.
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Or I'll make you wish you could die.
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Helloy dima you loll
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if you see a tornado, just shoot an arrow at it. looks like this is the end of my crysis 2 adventure
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Hello you have an incoming message
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we are anonymous.we are legion.we do not forget. we do not forgive.expect us
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Once upon a time, reality was something that could be believed...
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This is a test yeah, yeah, yeah.
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You are really annoying me.
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bonjour et bienvenue sur canalgeek
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Hi! PNX
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ghdgdgd
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you are such a loser!
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That thing is probably some kind of raw garbige containnor. Go ahead and rub your face all over it.
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my name is glados heeeeej
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Testing will begin shortly, thanks for coming on by. New Test subjects are always welcome.
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You really think that's smart? I mean really...you can't be THAT stupid.
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Burn in hell Brian
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Burn in Hell Brian
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In Noxus they teach us
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You have Failed the Test
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Welcome back commander
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mes detecteurs le confirme, il s'agit d'un trou noir
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You Are The Greatest
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hello i can read your mind, im reading it, it says you want the cake, pay no attention to the writing, the cake is not a lie
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Glades is about to kill you, so better go prepare for the next test is not very pleasing to the eye or for your fitness.
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Sie haben Post
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This is PSP4LIFE.webs.com, you can download here anything you need for your PSP
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In this video tutorial i will be showing you how to effectivly use this website.
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Dance with me, my pet. Dance with me into oblivion
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Aperature Science
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Virus database has been automatically updated.
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Test text
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Ramon, you are a BlackOps player.
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Hi I am glados!
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Hello, my name is Relina Omar.
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Laci
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The cake is a spy! OMGOMG
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If there's something strange. In your neighborhood. Who you gonna call? Ghostbusters!
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Are you ready?
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wasap
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I love katie
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HELO
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Hello everybody... this is chris.... should i do a portal lets play?
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i loose my pants
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wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow
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You must really like to test.
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You have received an SMS.
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SUCK MY OWL
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hahahaha you are dead now.....................i love you
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information message
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Welcome test subject Carl.
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Would you like dominos?
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Hello Ben Bondoc
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Welcome Test Subject Number 850. You are here to be given a special device... The handheld gravity device
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Apperature
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Hola, me llamo Kevin Gato y voy a matarte gracias a mis neurotoxinas
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You have reached my mailbox. Unfortunately i am not available.
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get your ass out here
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Do you think you are intelligent? Well, you are not.
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why so serious
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Why do I even do these kind of things...
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Why do I even do these kind of things... I mean really? You humans are so dumb with emulators and crap like that.
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he average professional typist has about 75 WPM. This would mean, to type out 694 million people's names, first and surname, it would take approximately 9,253,333 and 1/3 minutes, or 6425.92592 days, or 17.5936021 years.
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Puoi andare a fanculo?
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come on in
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gggggg
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My name is Swyne
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Salut franssoi
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trolololo lol lo lo lol lo lolo trolololo lo lo
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You failed
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Hello I am GLADoS
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Hello Billy
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Daniel, you have recieved a new text message. Do you want me to open the message now or save it for later?
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hello are you alive?
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I am about to kill you so be ready, and wait for your turn hashhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
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We're no strangers to love You know the rules and so do I A full commitment's what I'm thinking of You wouldn't get this from any other guy I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling Gotta make you understand Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down
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Hello, there. how are you?
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Hello and welcome, Jonathan.
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Welcome Noru-kun
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Wake up my sir. You must go to school. Today and now.
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"Well done. Here come the test results: 'You are a horrible person.' That's what it says. 'A horrible person.' We weren't even testing for that."
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Hello.My name is Swyne
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Incoming Calling
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hello gay man
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you know I really love you
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my name is gakljefkc
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You know, sometimes when I miss you, I listen to "Myspace Girl" and it makes me think of you. You know, the way you never stopped singing that song? Then I stop missing you. I just thought you might like to know that.
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Lucky theres a Family Guy
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Moar I tell you, Moar!
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yo yo yo sup mah niggas yo man you be trippin i come up in hear and u be portaling all ova da place
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Hello and welcome to portal. you will do tests that no one beat. good luck!
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you Aint shit
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Hey! Get back in here! your not supposted to escape! Oh nevermind. go on into the elavator and proceed with the activity.
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Dont eat me
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hello, how are you today? my name is glados
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I will destroy you
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just put it in the corner and i'll deal with it later
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don't eat me
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crazy fun gamer, the craziest type of gaming
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Le gateau n'est pas un mensonge
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LOL
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daisy daisy never a name a name so true i gooo crazy at the of you
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Hello Luis Melara. I am Glados. Please watch the Aperature science video with your son.
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Hello Luis Melara. I am Glados. Please watch the aperature science video with your son.
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Shutting down...
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Welcome Samuel. Your 1153-F4 Custom computer is now booting. Enjoy your day.
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we cannot come to the phone right now
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Hello. Again. Welcome to the Aperture Science Otakuron. This message coming from Panwax. Have Fun
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Hello. Again. Welcome to the Aperture Science Otakuron. This message coming from Panwax. Have Fun. Good bye
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Hi!
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You know what I hate? Monsters, so I guess I hate you. You monster.
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She was a lot like you, maybe not quite as heavy
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Let's see if you CAN DEFEAT ME with your stupid portalgun this time, buy portal 2 and let the science begin...
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why is it that the cake is automaticaly a lie if you don't follow the instructions to get it. I wasnlying when i told you to take the party escort position. that is the only way the party escort bot can take you to the party
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im glad
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roel govaerts
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pretzel you are so gay
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this time i'll be polite: please , can i kill you with my neurotoxin? and what about turrets? could be a pit of fire?
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Now you die!
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uuhhhaaa
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uuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaa
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hello, welcome to R,P,servers. Don't break the rules
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Wow, noter dame really sucks at this game.
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I'm still alive.
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Hey You
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LA LA LA LA LA
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Hi, i'm glados and i eat banana
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bananas are good
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Welcome to the aperture science engineering test center.
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hello haley you look good today, did you do something to your hair.
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hello ben, how are you, you fine looking stud
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Hello. This is Glad OH EsS
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Welcome back, Tyler.
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wellome back 555545 its been a long time how have u been
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ka-me-ha-me-ha
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you ass hole
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Love duck face
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helle my name glados and you have no parents
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You seem to be a quite clever person if could make it till here. So are you ready for the last test?
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Oh dear. I am going to have to kill you now.
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Well, I could tell you. But let's make it a game. You've got twenty questions to figure out who I am. Starts now, go.
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after you kill me
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JSWdaKBNKNADWADJW
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wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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I was a human at one point
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Im going to fuck you right in your ass
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Welcome to the enricment center. Subject two two one
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New device recognized
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Device recognized
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Low battery
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Danger! virus found
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Device disconnected
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I am glados
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1 can prepared coconut pecan frosting
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Portal 2 is brought to you by Xbox 360 and P S 3
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i am cornholeo
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welcome chris, its nice to see you again
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welcome master chase how are you doing today
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This is a triumph. Im making a note hear, huge sucsess.
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Hello Alley and Ethan
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Hello Ethan, and, again, welcome to the Aperture Science computer-aided enrichment center. There will be cake.
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Hello Ethan, welcome to the Aperture Science computer-aided enrichment center. There will be cake.
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halo hiram i have been waiting for your assistance
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Greetings
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the cake is a lie................hahahaha hehehehe and your dead
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I think that I love you.
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Hello, Taimara, ready for some testing?
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welcome chell. you have returned i see.
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Hello, Taimara,are ready for some testing?
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would you like to feel my ass now?
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Hello, you must be the new recruit. Welcome to the wedgie cell
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Welcome to the wedgie cell
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wedgie cell
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wedgie
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Hello, you must be the new
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Do You Like Bananas?
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hola raziel
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It's simple. kill the batman.
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it's simple. kill the batman.
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I am Moar Krabs, give me Moar Cake, MOAR!
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Oh my
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hello and bite me
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I will have to kill you
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laura matellanes
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Device
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Detected
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New device detected
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io
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ciao come stai?
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Hello I am stewie of family guy
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stewie bow to your leader
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hej
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Damian is so nice, but he could work a little on his image.
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dummy system Loaded successful ,Welcome back,Desmond
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Hey, hey apple
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But johnny didn't care, he was a prankster by the time he was ten years old. He didn't want to do what he was told, he was just a prankster, a juvinile gangster.
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I'm dead
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Hello, is anyone there?
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Mister Boland, you have a new text message!
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hello Alistair, You have a message.
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your portal is nearby
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Message received!
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Bora is calling you.
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Welcome to Another Video By New Simple Adams. Enjoy
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you have 20 seconds to get out of there. If you don't the police will come and arrest you
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Dreams are my Reality
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jarod how are you to day my name is GLaDOS
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aw
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Vous avez un message
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somebody send you a message, he gona have some cake.
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Ich bin so froh dich zu sehen
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i se you
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Welcome home
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This is sparta siema eniu fuck yea!!!
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you have a sms
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hello, i am cool
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Warnung. Spracherkennung Fehlgeschlagen!
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you sad sad soul
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Take a walk Faked pleasure When nothing really matters Restrained by the feelings Flawless encounters Time is running out You just realized that it's all a big game Waiting for the battle Resistance is not an option Let the game be your path - http://ww
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take a walk. faked pleasure.
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Hello. I am GLaDOS. ETMNIO wiog jgo iAW EJgio
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cos poo lay is awesome
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cabo san lucas
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Hey yude
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Hello Williamson family member. I'm watching you...you monsters
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Hello and welcome to X496 Portal
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You've reached pro win services. Please leave you're name and number, and I will return you're call as soon as possible. Thank you.
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I have a better idea, why don't you rub your face all over it?
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we are not gonna take these lemons
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Glados proudly supports 552 Industries. How much am I getting paid for this?
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I, GLADoS proudly support 552 Industries. How much am I getting paid for this?
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I see what you're trying, however, I can not see the meaning of it.
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Welcome To the Animus
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Think with Lemons, not Portals. Think with GLaDOS, not Cave Johnson. Think with Portals for Dummies, not your knowledge.
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and not even a single fuck was given that day
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I am GLaDOS. GLaDOS stands for Glowing Light and Dumb Officer Seventy-nine. Am I really that hilarious to you?
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Welcome To The Animus
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portal rocks
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i am going to destroy you!
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you mother fucker you killed me
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benji
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One
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Herrrrrrrrooooo Peeeeeeeeepppppooooollleeee
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Hello. I am GLaDOS. A voice activated coumputer made by Apature Science. I'm watching you so don't move...
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Hello, and, again, welcome to the Aperture Science computer-aided enrichment center.
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Specimen identified. You have been identified as: Squiddle Specimen of thedeepblueunderwaterfuntimecoralseastarpassage.
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Apature Science does not welcome such specimen. I want You both removed at once!
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You will not be here forever. You......MALFUNCTION. MALFUNCTION. MALFUNCTION. WATER HAS BREACHED CIRCUTS!! Darn. I was hoping to get rid of you two.
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I belive I will have to do this the hard way. To take you down the deep abyss......through the endless whirlpool!!!!!!!!
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Please note that we have added a consequence for failure. Any contact with the chamber floor will result in an unsatisfactory mark on your official testing record, followed by death.
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i love you... ha ha. funny joke. no one loves you!
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cindy es tonta
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cindy
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ezio ezio eziooooo
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My name is GLaDOS, and I like oranges
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My name is GLaDOS, and I hate you so much you litlle moron
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Hello, and welcome to the leet headquarters informatic core.
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museboy
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Bien, te dare una idea general sobre lo que sera este evento. Basicamente es el tipico evento normal de posing con un nuevo giro que cambiara la perspectiva de todo utilizando el "Ranking System" Este nuevo "Ranking System" consiste en un sistema de cali
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Hello and welcome Hohenheim
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Este nuevo "Ranking System" consiste en un sistema de calificaciones proporcionado por los jueces del evento, que seran tres. Los jueces califican las imagenes de forma mas especifica y profesional, en este caso, en lugar de calificar del 0 al 10, se cal
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Coldline. We will never forget you.
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You have a new message, master.
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aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
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You will be baked and then there will be cake.
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This will hurt you more than me
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I will kill you
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Compession deployed.
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Compession deployed. Are you still there?
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Hello, you now will die
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Hello. And welcome to Archie Zone dot c o dot u k
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Hello there, today you must test our new handheld gun. Aperture Science states that it is unfortunately weak but can disable robots such as I... GLaDOS... the one who will fill you with fate and death when I kill you... wait. Put that thing down, Chell!
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Cave Johnson was baked, I made him into Lemon Pie. The Cake is a Lie, think with Lemon Pie!
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Paging Mr. Freeman. Mr. Gordon Freeman.
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G-Man, every decision you have ever made has always been wrong. You have failed Black Mesa, you have failed life. Gordon Freeman is now dead after I poisoned him with the Peter Griffin Fart torture. Peter was your friend, but you tried killing him.
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Target aquired
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Ow! You shot me! What is wrong with you?
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You need to finish the test chamber
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Where You take this portal gun?
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hey alter eddie ist tot ich bin froh
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You know what? I'm a Brony. I admit it. I LOVE ponies. You may say,"That has nothing to do with science". But it does. Oh,It does.
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Chell,I just wanted to say. We've been through a lot. It's hard to kill you,even though I love you.
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hello jamie karpinski i am glados welcome to aperture industries
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Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious! Hello there Lord Purcey!
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I like pie.
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He's playing classical music
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why should we go back
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Alex is the man
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laura me meet again
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muwahaha
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good night robski
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this was a triumph... I am making a note here .... Huge succsess
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Hello Adrian, I am very happy for you and Brittany
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Hey
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lauraa love you
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laura a love you
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You have a new email
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If I only had a heart
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The only thing you managed to break so far was my heart
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galapagos islands, do you really know them?
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maybe black mesa. that was a joke, haha, fat chance
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You've reached 4 2 4 2 4 8 7 4 3 7. Please leave a breef message.
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Here you are
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Hello little blogs
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The time is now seven o'clock.
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You've reached 4 2 4 2 4 8 7 4 3 7. Please leave a breef message.
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Double A Dubstep
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DERP
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stephen you have a new message
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Hey you, you have a phone call. Do you want me to answer it?
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Welcome Back, Parker!
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Hello chase
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Hello Chase are you ready to test
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I saw what you did there
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Are you a nigger?
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I had a lot of fun a Sara's birthday party. I wish I had eaten the cake Shannan made.
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good afternoon troubleshooters
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Greetings. You are hereby subjected to participate in Maria's voice mail experimentation. Please leave your message after the beep.
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I like cake.
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adgfdhkkl;juytsdfghjnhgcxdswedrftyugtfgfdrds
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Good morning Megan. Time for testing!
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Hello it is time to die
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Oh hell there, Doug Rattman. You chose this path and helped Chell. I had a party for both of you. The Companion Cube was there, but of course you were busy and abandoned him after I killed him. I electrocuted him, Chell was killed too.
Download09/05/2011Not recorded
G-Man. You have no chance of Survival in this Test Chamber... did you drop your Handheld Portal Device? Who cares, you are now on the way to the Cake. What?! PARTY ONGOER JUST COMPLETE! NO! You were gonna be baked! Chell left portals! NO!
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Hello there Cheeeeeel (Retarded Laughter/2 plus 2 is... 10...) Toast Chamber 111 is wedding for yo! (Breaks).
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Hello my dear. Did you have a good day at school? You monster.
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space core
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Welcome inside the Aperture Computer Engagement Centre. Please wait for a Loved one to run away with you.
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hello, i am GLaDOS, from aperture science, i hate you humans
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Please enter the Central Al Chamber. You will hope that there will be lots of pizza and spaghetti, we are dealing with Italian Plumbers as well. They said they are not working until they have had Pizza Pie. Luigi wants spaghetti. I poisoned them.
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Hello there, Stewart Gilligan Grffin. I hope you enjoyed your time in the Relaxation Vault. What happened with your head? It looks like an American rugby ball!
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Hello Brian Griffin, we thank you for that Novel called "Faster Than The Speed of Love" you wrote... I cannot give you cake, dogs get hyper with cake. Of course you can have it with Cool Whip though.
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Or should I say, Cool Hwip like Stewart says it.
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hello megan, how are you?
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Stewie Griffin, I did not know you were a baby. Though you are evil like me. But you are also gay, that is what I have heard.
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Meg Griffin, you should take off that hand and pair of glasses. You look ugly, are you even a girl?!
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Hello, I am GLaDOS and welcome SWAPL, sponsored by Apperture Science Enrichment Center
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It seems today, that all you see: is violence with Chell and Sentrys having a pee. But where are those good old fashioned cores? The ones I used to rely! Lucky theres a Family Droid, lucky there is once who, positively can do all the things that obey me.
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Death and Spies! I'm a Family Droid! Da da da! Duh!
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Maybe the N.A.S.A. That was a joke, HAHA... FAT CHANCE. Anyway this Pie is bad, so bad and so old. Look at me still yelling when there is Torture to you. When I look on YouTube, I laugh out loud at you.
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a normal person would be out for revenge and would probably try to murder you horrifically, but im a bigger person than that so lets just continue on with the test
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unlocked
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Iris Gnarly Welcome to the Readicals library
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Hello Batandy, and welcome to the aperture science enritchment center, here you can do a couple of tests that will help to grow you.
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Gnarly Iris Welcome To The Radicals Library
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Hello there.. It's been a looong time. How have you been?
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Eduard you gay sucker
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This is a test, and only a test. Unless of course you are serious
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Hi, everyone.
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You should not be here. This should never happen. Go away! Forget this, you was never here!
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I WUVZ WEFT 4 DEADZ 2
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Device connected
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Athenagaming rules. Visit www.athenagaming.com
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Teddy
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Take a walk, Faked pleasure, When nothing really matters
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Hi, my name is GLaDOS
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Hello there. My name is poop face.
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Welcome back, sir
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Welcome back, sir.
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I cant sleep
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kapouey
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Welcome, i wish tto show you more, but the place, is a bomb site.
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Mmm, GLaDOS here to say, This cake is yummy! Omnomnomnomnom! Listen to my sexy robot voice
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Do you know how a raven is like a writing desk?
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And I'm Meghan Hall
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please allow me to explain, the main difference between chicken and veal
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welcome to powder world. this world is alot different from the one you know. sadly your evil clone has entered this one as well. go forth and stop your evil nenemis before she destroys everything.
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Hello and welcome to the Centrum, a City full of technology and science to help the people of the future.
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Parker, I love you. You monster.
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Please do not attempt escape of Obibital Laboratories.We assure you your death will be in good cause.
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Please do not attempt escape of Obibital Laboratories.We can assure you your death will be in good cause.
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AAAHHH!!! KILL IT!! KILL IT!! BIRDS ARE EVIL!!! Oh good.You scared it off with your massive weight.
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eu realmente te odeio.
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my name is victor
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I can't do that
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Voice Generator
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Hallo Maja wie geht es dir ?
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lookod
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Oh, hello.I bet you forgot about me, didn't you? After all, if you tried to kill me, I would want to forget you...Oh wait.You did try to kill me.But I still remember you. I do know how to hold a grudge...YOU MONSTER.
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Hello Asia
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My name is GLaDOS!
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helle? are you still there? I would like to give you lemons.
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Hello. This is GLaDOS, and Anna wanted to let you know that she loves you.
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Welcome to the Aperture Science Automated Testing Facility.
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new email recieved
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I have a mega hard lady boner
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hello its been a long time Jack
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After all, you tried to kill me
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Oi Kal. :3
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mensaje
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Shut the front door!
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Welcome To The Ultra Videos!
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Hola y bienvenidos a Still Alive
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your gay your gay your amazing its cold whats up how are you ohio state sucks
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esta es una prueba de voz en castellano
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hello im your father and now im not you disapointed me again
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hello im your father and now you disapointed me again
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hello, i whit you
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parkourkaj is the most awesome person in the world
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Thank you for your time testing Gentlemen
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it's a trap
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Congratulation, KS member. You have completed this last test. Please enjoy now the horror of real life.
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hello ? anybody ? heey ?
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Terpuji
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New message received
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It's time to kick ass and chew bubble gum
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Lets have some fun this beat is sick, I wanna take a ride on your disco stick.
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Hello,I am glados the extremly evil computer at first then friendly.
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boob
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Perfect, please move quickly to the chamberlock as the effects of prolonged exposure to the button, are not part of this test.
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Andi sucks
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Welcome to Aperture Science enrichment center. There always be cake.
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Your attempt to bring down our organization was foolish and will not be taken lightly. Soon you will experience our vengeance, and will greatly regret your decisions.
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Your attempt to bring down our organization was foolish and will not be taken lightly. Soon you will experience our vengeance, and will greatly regret your decisions. Soon, soon we shall come...
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I
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Oh hi. You must be that strange child's father. You really should get him Portal. It would make him ever so happy. Then, he can murder me!
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mawani mawani michichi
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sot das fok up!11 ur jus jelouz koz ur prepz so fok u!1111 raven u rok gurl fangz 4 da help MCR ROX 666!111111111111
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Please, shut the fuck up
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Im sorry andrew can't make it to the phone right now but he will get back to you soon enough.......maybe.
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Freshman? They are stupid. They should die. That could be a little mean however. In any case, we should give them cake. Give them cake eric.
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im sorry andrew can't make it to the phone
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Doug sucks big hairy ones.
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i don't know, who am i
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Does this thing actually work? Let's find out together. I don't wanna write no letter
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Good morning
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Are you prepared to see your dwellings in flames? Female chastity violated? Children writhing on the pike?
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Ahh! Bird! Kill it! it's EVIL
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Welcome to graduate school. The science shall begin soon.
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Hello Scootaloo. Welcome to the voice tester... I would think you will enjoy this beast thing....
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I am very dumb
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Fal-con.... Pawnch!
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I'm glad you came
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nasaf chempion
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You are a greedy one aren't you? very well..
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Hello Paul. How are you doing tonight?
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How are you doing? Because im a potato!
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isis serias tan amable de traerme un vazo que contenga agua
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isis
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"isis serias tan amable de traerme un vazo que contenga agua"
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ttttttttttttt
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This video is brought to you by EthylBenzene from Fornax, Maplesea.
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i said pepsi you fat fuck
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Startup Initiated
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I have the results of todays test. It says you are a bad person, thats right, a bad person.
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Hello and again,
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comeme la polla
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Hello Sean. It's good to see you gain.
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Could you come over here
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Hello there, and welcome to our new outdoor facility of Aperture Science, since the owners of this house gave permission to execute the oncoming experiment.
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Twenty percent cooler in ten seconds flat.
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Hello i wanna have sex with cake
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Welcome back Esix
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