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MessageDownloadDate addedDate processed
testen wir das doch mal locker flockig
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kill you
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Welcom to the aperture science
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Hello Sucject 3.9.1.4, You are here to begin a tes, about portals
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Starting Windows XP
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bonjour je suis
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bonjour je suis glados d'aperture siences
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Starting Bird Killer Program
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Hi, Agent_47. How are you?
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windows 95
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Tha cake is NOT a LIE
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Neko Alpha is a cat. The cat is a lie
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Jak to jde?
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SMS
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don't worry, We shold be able to begin testing soon
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Hello Sonja, how are you?
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Welcome back. System activation, please wait.
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New Message Recieved
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Hello. Welcome to 6th Form. I hope you will all have a amazing time. Unless if i can stop you.
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jupe
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its time to have fun with science
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Hello Motherfucker
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Hello milizia
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Fantastic
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Are you still there
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bram is the greatest
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hello you horrible person
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ew
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Don't take this the wrong way, but you are a towel. And I don't take advice from towels.
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remember when i said we were going to kill you? that was funny
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Hello, what is for lunch today
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My name is GLaDOS
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Hellow Renaud
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dwad
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I love you Pior, I want you to code my software
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Yalla hasseleby
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aperture science Please leave a message after the tone
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I was, man
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i want to suck the marrow from your bones
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Hi judy
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i will suck the marrow from your bones
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nice
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bluh?
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I am testing to see if this works properly. I love you, Syrrena. Now let's test.
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Ken, you should stop reading this.
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hello and again welcome to the aperture science testing center
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Are you there rob?
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I just want to say hello
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Die
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I like Slava so mach
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Oh look another text message. Who would want to text you
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Oh look another text message. Who would want to text someone like you
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This is a test of how awesome max is
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Hello world
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i am GLaDOS
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HELLO
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Bonjour, ceci est u
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Hello, human! You have a new message!
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The problem is that this method makes use of GUI (graphical user interface) software, which cannot be easily automated. What this tool does is, indeed, to automate them anyway, despite the shortcomings of such a method. Here is what happens when you enter
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fuck my tits
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donut
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Hey what's up
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Elijah, you should have a nice birthday. That idea sounds fun, to me.
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You Monster I am the godfather
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Daz is a homo
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hello and again, welcome to the aperature science enrichment center.
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Ciagle na andeeri gracie czy juz pozmienialiscie server? :P w ogole cos sie dzieje ciekawego? :>
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my little...what? pony? why?
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I should warn you, the next test is a pain in the ass
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tomas
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strange creature rules
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Welcome. I'll be your guide today... Just take a seat, and relax...
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Jacob, you are a bum crisp.
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Hello Katie. It's been awhile.
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Hello. Welcome to the Aperture Science computer department.
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hi cheshadowx dark angel im gonna beat you at portal
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Hello? What is that?
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Hallo Robin. Ich bin es. GLaDOS!
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Holy Shit
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don't fuck with me
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hello my name is GLaDOS
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Computers are supposed to have very good memories.
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Listen to me, I am real, you are not.
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Computers are supposed to have very good memories!
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I never said that you said that you were a wolf. Are you a werewolf, then?
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welcome to co O S
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Error, problem lies between keyboard and chair.
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this is just a test, open tits bb
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this is just a test, open tits
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spaaaaaaaaaaaace
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Tommy Noble
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Glados is awesome!
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Dj O M Y
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O its you its been a long time
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testchamber
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This statement is false!
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What have you done for the Science?
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Welcome to my life
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nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan
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Hello, are you out of cake? MAke it happer!
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Aperture science
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hi erin
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What are you doing? monster?
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Welcome to the Aperture Science Enrichment Center
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We must continue with some more testing, for science.
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Congratulations. You have passed the test and you will now be incinerated.
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deploy the pods !
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Hi. Here is GLaDOS. I wanted to tell you that Avast updated his VPS. That's all.
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VIRUS DETECTED. PLUG OUT THE NETWORK CORD AS FAST AS YOU CAN. AND QUARANTINE THAT THING. QUICK. The Cake will rot if you don't.
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Nyan Cat. Oh, please stop all this endless Nyaning. It's so NYAN NYAN NYAN
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Do you know that you have work to do? SO stop surfing Internet and open OpenOffice. If you don't, I'll format your Hard Drive.
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Errror, Error hardware probleme
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serrtt
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It's been a long time
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Hallo Sam. I want to play a game with you
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What are you doing i will not permit this
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resistance is futile. hahahaha
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glados the computer voice
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This was a triomph
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Welcome, please select an option from the list
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Hello and Welcome to Aperture Science Systems
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Please, Select, An, Option, From, The, List
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Welcome to the Aperture Science Computer Aided Youtube Channel. You will watch the video, and then you will be given cake.
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Options
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High, Scores
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how old are you?
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What are you wearing?
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ololo you gay
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Nya
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You have a new message
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Code red, breach in sector 4, alex's room
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Leeeeeroooy Jeeenkins
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Kresho welcome
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Hello and welcome to the systems down tutorial.
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hello daniel
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i is glados
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Hello Daniel, you have an incoming message
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you have received a message. Please check now
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The Aperture Science computer-aided Enrichment Center would like to notify you that your Aperture Science Handheld Phone Device has received a text message and some cake.
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Hello there, how are you today?
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Attention test subject! Your Aperture Science Handheld Phone Device has an Incoming call
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Attention test subject! Your Aperture Science Handheld Phone Device has an Incoming call. Please proceed to pick it up. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Failure to complete this will result in immediate death
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umbrella mountain
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Well Hello there human
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My name is GLaDOS i am a computer program set out to kill you
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Hello i am GLaDOS
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Dj Wipe
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We will killing the enemies. That will be fun
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my name is ryan, I am awesome
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i am stupid
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tudok magyarul is
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Please note that there is a phone call waiting in the Aperture Science Phone Call Receptical. Please pick it up, or else the Aperture Science Automated Phone Call Remover will initiate. Hazards of this device being initiated include vaporisation.
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I like milk
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everywhere i go potato and snow
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Helo
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Hello, how are you
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hello. I am your mother
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official nintendo magazine rocks
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mitobea and mesaweww welcome to apeture science
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Welcome to Aperture Science Enrichment Center
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Hello Jamie, I've been expecting you
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Stop fucking around
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I Love Niggers
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hello my name is panda
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It's seen like someone is calling. You can answer... or not.. I really don't care.
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You should apply to wowcraft s m p, for science, you monster.
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Still Alive
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Hey Kate. Your face annoys all of mankind. But on the bright side, your upper body attracts things from all around.
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O OP suga caralhos alados.
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I don't give a fuck. I was drinking Sprite while reading your fucking headline.
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Hello!!!!
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Hello. And welcome to the Aperture Science Enrichment Center.
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Hello. And. Welcome to the Enrichment Center.
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answer your phone or i will terminate you you worthless human do you hear me stop being so rude
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Here we go for fun with Akuma
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i want to be the very best like no one ever was to catch them is is my real test to train them is my cause pokemon i will travel across the land searching far and wide for each pokemon to understand the power thats inside pokemon
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Stop trying to compare me with a popstar
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oh you broke my test chamber you little
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I am sorry, Peter is unable to take your call. Feel free to leave a message and he may have time to get back with you.
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How are you holding up? Because I'm a potatoe.
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I'm a potatoe.
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Hi. You have reached the desk of Joshua Bui. Please leave a detailed message after the tone.
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Bonjour popiet je suis Glados et je vais te tuer
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zboob
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Hello Dear Wheatly.
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Hello everybody. It's nice to see you.
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Hello everybody. It's so very nice to see you here at KultCon. I am not kidding. Or wait, I am. I lied to you. I wish you all a terrible evening. You monsters.
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Hello and welcome to the aperture science enrichment center
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Hello you horrible person
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Ian Watkins
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So, Stephanie, will you Marry Billy Turner?
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Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday Dot, happy birthday to you
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How About a magic Trick ?
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GLaDOS systems functioning. Say Hello to Silver, the best Operating System running linux in the world.
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Bonnie
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WHO? ARE? YOU?
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Come to Panther's Fetish Wear. NOW!
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emre rodoplu
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Google
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IBM
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I B M
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Titanium
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The whole voice generating process can be relatively long
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Your HUD is On
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hey its james
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I now recognize that you: subject Blake, have qualified to be in the Aperture Science program. This recording if proof that this is not a scam. Please note that the Aperture Science bus will come within two days of you recieving this message.
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Kyle is awesome
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It's been a long time. How have you been?
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Ah, sarah. Are you ready to get back to science?
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You Aren't going to Stanford. Deal with it.
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I love you Rachel
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Hello im GLaDOS Haha!
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I love you, Rachel
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Copulate with me more vociferously you well endowed cad
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hello chey did u like portal 2 if not u are a horrible person
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Hello, have you seen the cake yet? I love... cake .... little babies crawling up and down walls, have you seen it yet? shadows... have you seen them yet?
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This is a test sentence.
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you will actually find that the cake is not a lie
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you will actually find that the cake is not a lie haha
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Good morning, helpdesk Cake speaking?
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Hello, we are going to do some tests
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Thank you for contacting Bob's Phone. Please note that we have added a consequence for failure. Not leaving a voicemail will result in an unsatisfactory mark on your official testing record, followed by death.
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You have been a very, very naughty boy.
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Vous allez jouer avec moi
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you are so popular
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hola mamones, esto es una prueba.
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Are you sleeping? Well, it's time to get up now!
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Brain Jack
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Hey Shaela How are you today?
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Haha, eu nao falo portuguese
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Aperture Science
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My Little Pony is gay!
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Maya, you are somewhat amusing.
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Hate Detected!
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Firing Orbital Friendship Cannon!
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This is a test. Test that doesn't require a human specimen.
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Oh well
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i hate you so much
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zombie playground
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Destroy your companion cube or testing cannot continue.
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You are receiving a phone call, answer it. for science.
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You are receiving a phone call, please answer it. for science.
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i smell like ass
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led zeppelin
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Hello, i love you
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Please wake up for science, you monster.
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Please wake up, for science, you monster.
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I is a waking dream. A monster of your nightmares. Demon with a thousand faces! Tremble, for I gain true form! Fall down before the god of death!
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It is good to see you again, Jon Helgeson.
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Welcome to Radio Extasy
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Lula. I hope this works. I jest want to say. Hello. I want to eat your hamburger.
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;sadlfj;alkjf;dajf;jkda;fj
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Why hello there. It seems that you have something of mine.
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Hello subject lala. This is a birthday greeting from John. He loves you very much, but will not survive long. By the way, you are next for testing.
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Hello And Welcome to Black Mesa
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HeLLo. It sEeMS yOu hAVe sOMeTHiNg oF mINe. GiVE iT bACk, aNd I WiLl nOt kILl yOu.
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Hi Elizabeth
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Welcome to the testing chamber. I wish you good luck....
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I like your junk
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This Tuesday
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Is it working
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Hello Lala. It's been awhile since you escaped the Aperture testing facility, you monster. John tells me its your birthday. Please come back to the laboratory. Your birthday cake is waiting.
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We're having fun...with science.
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hello chad
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Welcome to the aperture science enrichment center
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Once upon a time in a kingdom FAR FAR AWAY
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Kad sam bio mladjan lovac ja, jedna me je moma volela
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so long, No thanks for all the useless talks.
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Yunsu, You`ve got a message!!!
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i hate potatoes
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Tony, you arrogant fool. I miss you, and we should hang out soon
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Derek, this is GLaDOS. I love you
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hmm does this work?
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JARVIS uploaded.Welcome Back. Nice to see you again.
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Iit's beeeen a loooong tiimee. Hooww haavee yoouu beeen?
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metal gear rex
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metal gear rex is duy im not life spyro
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Someone is calling you. Answer the phone. You monster.
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hola soy gldos , vas a morir
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if the Weighted Companion Cube Fuzzies could speak-and we assure you that they cannot-they would remind you that in some areas it may be illegal to hang them or anything else from your car's rear-view mirror
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Message.
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Hello Daniel my friend!
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Accessing music genre database. Dirge.
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We are Anonymous. We are legion. We do not forgive. We do not forget. Expect us.
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Releasing control
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next month shall be a success
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in 90 days
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Operating system initialized. Welcome!
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for the good of all of us, exept the ones who are dead
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We can't come to the phone right now. At the tone, please leave a message.
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HI, my voice filter is lame as dogcrap
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Can you help&
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Can you help
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I do not need you anymore. I have Subject 1089!
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Why is a laser beam like a goldfish? Because neither one can whistle!
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This is a extremely interesting topic, perhaps you should all upload videos to display exactly how you do in fact put your bras on, for, science, of course.
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This is a extremely interesting topic, perhaps you should all upload videos to display exactly how you do in fact put your bras on, for, science, of course
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I am not a robot, I am a unicorn!
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You're probably neither listening nor interested. But you have an incoming message. I guess it's from your mother.
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You little bastard! Get out of my way!
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ha ha, perfect
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You are in my domain
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Locutios videos are awesome
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Good morning Joel.
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oh hello, how are you?
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shit the arse
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I would love some papaya juice.
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Hello Salvador
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S-stop.
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Oh, there are your new friends
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Break it down.
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my little portal.
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lol test
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Hello and welcome to this Aperture Science...oh wait. It's you. You are very persistent i ruining my existence, aren't you?
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ficken
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andrew faucet is like the coolest dude in the whole wide world
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Welcome to Arapature science labratory
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Roger, You have an incoming telephone call.
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PPSsyysstteemmss ccrreeaattiivvee ssoolluuttiioonnss
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Allo Tomasz
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Hello Vincent, welcome to the aperture enrichement center
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I Like Trains
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in coming call for commander kegan
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Please rate teh
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hello, and welcome to the emenagment center
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Hello Hayden you will die
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Hello, This is Bass Technician. He is Rad.
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Just push the button. Are you stupid Allow me to answer, clearly yes.
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Hello...How are you?
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gorda
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Un caloroso benvenuto nel server!
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Hello facebook. I will kill you if you don't change your colour.
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Hello Oliver You are a noob
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Hello Mister Facebook. I will kill you if you don't change your colour.
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Well you found me, congratulations.
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hello operator
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This is a extremely interesting topic, perhaps you should all upload videos to display exactly how you do in fact put your bras on. For science, of course.
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Google it! Seriously!!!
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Mickey I don"t think they did that one . fuck you they did that one . they did that one
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Paul, get the hell on world of warcraft
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speedy thing goes in, speedy thing goes out
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This will be legen... wait for it... dary!!!
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a mountain walked, or stumbled
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its been a looooong time
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itsbeenalongtimehowhaveyoubeen
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The Enrichment Center promises to always provide a safe testing environment. In dangerous testing environments, the Enrichment Center promises to always provide useful advice. For instance: the floor here will kill you. Try to avoid it.
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Welcome to the Aperture Science Enrichment Center. Please do not destroy vital testing security equipment.
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Welcome to the Aperture Science Computer-Aided Enrichment Center. We hope your brief stay in the relaxation annex has been a pleasant one.
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I am currently taking a wonderful poop in my backyard. Care for a bit?
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I am currently taking a wonderful poop in my backyard.
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I am currently taking a poop in my backyard.
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Verre
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J D and milk is the most awesome youtuber i think i have ever seen in my whole life
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hello my name is big booty
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Test and stuff
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Hello World.
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A, S, S, H ,O,L, E,IM A ASSHOLE
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My nama is GLaDOS
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DON'T CALL ME SHORT!!! I'LL RIP OFF YOUR FEET AND STICK THEM ON YOUR HEAD!!! Colonel Mustang looks dead sexy! ...In a miniskirt...
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I like cake
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hello there, how are you.
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Hello and welcome to Portal 2
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We can put our differences aside, for science, you monster.
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Subscribe to The D Man 98 1
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I'm tired, I think I may take a nap. Oh. Wait. I forgot, I'm not a pathetic human, so I don't need to waste my life away to sleep. And I don't have to eat, so I can maintain my beautiful figure, unlike yourself.
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Hello and again welcome to the Aperture Sciance computer aided enrichment center.
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The cake is a lie chell
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Hello, my name is GLaDOS
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Lock up your belts please
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el bastian es gay
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pollo
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Hello, Daniel. My name is GLaDOS. I heard you you incinerated your companion cube, and laughed. You treturous swine. I will hunt you down and kill you. By the way, I am a potato. That is all.
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Oh hello, Welcome to Minecraft Nations
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I don't wanna be the sidekick anymore.
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hello logan would you like to play portal
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hello parking meter
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Oh Hi. How are you holding up? Because I'm a potato
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i could have been a contender
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you fat pig
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You shouldn't have done that.
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In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.
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pull up. pull up. pull up.
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I am super cool
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Cake.
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Hello Johnny!
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Greeting Master DVX what would you like to do today?
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Hey Clara and Tamika
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,lsadjlf
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HI!
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Return to normal Routine, Return to normal Routine
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Hello and welcome to the aperture science testing facility. It is my duty to inform you that you suck.
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lol hello
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Herp Derp
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Hello, human, my name is Alfred. If you are hearing this message, I do not wish to talk, nor does skyler. I hope that you have a nice oh what the hell hang up now, please
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hello this is regenade
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remember that time you were like, oh no
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Hi there
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hrllo
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faint heart never fucked a pig
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awe
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Hello and welcome to the Aperture science research lab
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tic tic time away
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Did you know that there was a contest? No? It's ok! It's already over. This competitor, just like you, did not win.
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Hyper. Mega. Super. Ultra. Extra.
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Hello, my name is glados
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This, is, sparta.
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ALPHATIME
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vagwin
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Hello and welcome to my channel
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That was a joke
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Welcome to the Gimnasium number 14 enrichment center.The ne[t test is imposible
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Adam, you are a real disappointment. That poor poor ukelele
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Welcome to Aperture Science
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Oh Good, There You are
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My name is christian soy un paletero
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O im new on this serpent world
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That was shockingly good. I guess I could subscribe to them. Right?
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C. S. Gamers. U. K. huh? This looks promising.
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Build 34 Complete
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hello will pleae
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Steve is a tool.
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Hello Will, Please assume the party submission position and someone will be by to collect you
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hello peter how are you? why do you want to kill me?
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In order to prevent customer data loss it is imperative that...
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Missing Translation fr-fr\hsr018-vm.spx
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Oh, hello. How are you? Because I'm a potato.
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Hello Kristian, how are you today?
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True repentance is always accompanied by life change.
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fottiti coglione
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Renato
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Incoming Message
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abcdefg
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my little pony
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Push me. And then just touch me. Till I can get my. Satisfaction.
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hello michael, i want to have your babies.
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Hey. you are going to die.
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widzisz nie jestes doskonaly, dlatego stworzyli... nas
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Nigger
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Welcome.
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Hello Tony, you must test iris then you will get cake
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Well here we meet again. It's always such a pleasure.
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in fucking awsome
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Voulez-vous jouer avec moi?
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welcome to steam cast
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Noooooo
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Suit up, because tonight it will be legendary
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Toni is gay
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Self destruction sequence activated. Time left to detonation: 40, 39, 38, 37, 36, 35, 34, 33, 32, 31, 30, 29, 28, 27, 26, 25, 24, 23, 22, 21, 20, 19, 18, 17, 16, 15, 14, 13, 12, 11, 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. bye bye!
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Oh no you didn't
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Hello. You monster
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SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCEEEEEEEE
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Willkommen im gamerzhost rechenzentrum
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harder better faster stronger
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Work It Make It Do It Makes Us Harder Better Faster Stronger
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hello there i see you
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This is funny
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Hello, and welcome to nyanyanyanyanyanyan
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hello ! my name is glaaaaaodooosooooos
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Promods or die?
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Hello, Moron. I expect you want to put me in a potato now?
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My hand is a dolphin
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i am going to find you one day, and will mercilessly kill you piece by piece. thank you for choosing aperture science
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This is a test to see if this actually works.
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you are noob
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Hello Iron Works Gaming crew, i have now taken over your website. Please enjoy your time with science, you monster
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Demo spy!
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how are you holding up because i'm a potato
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Hello again... it's been a long time!
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You suck, silly human.
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Team Reges
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I'm a fucking system.I wanna go to ass
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Kiss my ass
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Team Reges.
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Greetings George, how are you!
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This is my First GLaDOS Voice.
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hello ola i am a robot
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Welcome to Mini Ladds channel.
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oh hi how are you danielyou have ben aslep for five years
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welcome bak reme,ber when you murderd me well im still alive and this cake i promised will never be yours
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Hello test subject 92
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Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that your is stupid.
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Hello Testsubject 6 let us begin with the test
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Hello i wanna make some tests i hope you dont die while this not dangerous tests enjoy
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Don't worry, I will never like you.
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hi, i'm glados
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I.D. Recognized. Access garanted to: Carlos de Migel. Welcome to the system, sir.
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Orange... Orange.... hey p body
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Oh, Its You.
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Dawid jest glupi
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Your girlfriend found this and was curious as to how it would sound if she used it to say that she loves you. Which she does. How romantic.
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why wont you go DIE IN A FIRE
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crazy fun gamer, the craziest type of fighting
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Hello finn. I have been waiting.
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Hi, and welcome in apareture Science Enrichment centre
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Hello and Welcom
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Why are you here?
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the rain in spain stays mainly on the plain.
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Theeeerreeeeee reeeeaaaallllllyyyy waaaassssss aaaaa caaaakkkkkeeee...
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i fuck your mother
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Please leave a message after the beep, an aperture staff member will be notified of your message
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