testen wir das doch mal locker flockig

kill you

Welcom to the aperture science

Hello Sucject 3.9.1.4, You are here to begin a tes, about portals

Starting Windows XP

bonjour je suis

bonjour je suis glados d'aperture siences

Starting Bird Killer Program

Hi, Agent_47. How are you?

windows 95

Tha cake is NOT a LIE

Neko Alpha is a cat. The cat is a lie

Jak to jde?

SMS

don't worry, We shold be able to begin testing soon

Hello Sonja, how are you?

Welcome back. System activation, please wait.

New Message Recieved

Hello. Welcome to 6th Form. I hope you will all have a amazing time. Unless if i can stop you.

jupe

its time to have fun with science

Hello Motherfucker

Hello milizia

Fantastic

Are you still there

bram is the greatest

hello you horrible person

ew

Don't take this the wrong way, but you are a towel. And I don't take advice from towels.

remember when i said we were going to kill you? that was funny

Hello, what is for lunch today

My name is GLaDOS

Hellow Renaud

dwad

I love you Pior, I want you to code my software

Yalla hasseleby

aperture science Please leave a message after the tone

I was, man

i want to suck the marrow from your bones

Hi judy

i will suck the marrow from your bones

nice

bluh?

I am testing to see if this works properly. I love you, Syrrena. Now let's test.

Ken, you should stop reading this.

hello and again welcome to the aperture science testing center

Are you there rob?

I just want to say hello

Die

I like Slava so mach

Oh look another text message. Who would want to text you

Oh look another text message. Who would want to text someone like you

This is a test of how awesome max is

Hello world

i am GLaDOS

HELLO

Bonjour, ceci est u

Hello, human! You have a new message!

The problem is that this method makes use of GUI (graphical user interface) software, which cannot be easily automated. What this tool does is, indeed, to automate them anyway, despite the shortcomings of such a method. Here is what happens when you enter

fuck my tits

donut

Hey what's up

Elijah, you should have a nice birthday. That idea sounds fun, to me.

You Monster I am the godfather

Daz is a homo

hello and again, welcome to the aperature science enrichment center.

Ciagle na andeeri gracie czy juz pozmienialiscie server? :P w ogole cos sie dzieje ciekawego? :>

my little...what? pony? why?

I should warn you, the next test is a pain in the ass

tomas

strange creature rules

Welcome. I'll be your guide today... Just take a seat, and relax...

Jacob, you are a bum crisp.

Hello Katie. It's been awhile.

Hello. Welcome to the Aperture Science computer department.

hi cheshadowx dark angel im gonna beat you at portal

Hello? What is that?

Hallo Robin. Ich bin es. GLaDOS!

Holy Shit

don't fuck with me

hello my name is GLaDOS

Computers are supposed to have very good memories.

Listen to me, I am real, you are not.

Computers are supposed to have very good memories!

I never said that you said that you were a wolf. Are you a werewolf, then?

welcome to co O S

Error, problem lies between keyboard and chair.

this is just a test, open tits bb

this is just a test, open tits

spaaaaaaaaaaaace

Tommy Noble

Glados is awesome!

Dj O M Y

O its you its been a long time

testchamber

This statement is false!

What have you done for the Science?

Welcome to my life

nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan

Hello, are you out of cake? MAke it happer!

Aperture science

hi erin

What are you doing? monster?

Welcome to the Aperture Science Enrichment Center

We must continue with some more testing, for science.

Congratulations. You have passed the test and you will now be incinerated.

deploy the pods !

Hi. Here is GLaDOS. I wanted to tell you that Avast updated his VPS. That's all.

VIRUS DETECTED. PLUG OUT THE NETWORK CORD AS FAST AS YOU CAN. AND QUARANTINE THAT THING. QUICK. The Cake will rot if you don't.

Nyan Cat. Oh, please stop all this endless Nyaning. It's so NYAN NYAN NYAN

Do you know that you have work to do? SO stop surfing Internet and open OpenOffice. If you don't, I'll format your Hard Drive.

Errror, Error hardware probleme

serrtt

It's been a long time

Hallo Sam. I want to play a game with you

What are you doing i will not permit this

resistance is futile. hahahaha

glados the computer voice

This was a triomph

Welcome, please select an option from the list

Hello and Welcome to Aperture Science Systems

Please, Select, An, Option, From, The, List

Welcome to the Aperture Science Computer Aided Youtube Channel. You will watch the video, and then you will be given cake.

Options

High, Scores

how old are you?

What are you wearing?

ololo you gay

Nya

You have a new message

Code red, breach in sector 4, alex's room

Leeeeeroooy Jeeenkins

Kresho welcome

Hello and welcome to the systems down tutorial.

hello daniel

i is glados

Hello Daniel, you have an incoming message

you have received a message. Please check now

The Aperture Science computer-aided Enrichment Center would like to notify you that your Aperture Science Handheld Phone Device has received a text message and some cake.

Hello there, how are you today?

Attention test subject! Your Aperture Science Handheld Phone Device has an Incoming call

Attention test subject! Your Aperture Science Handheld Phone Device has an Incoming call. Please proceed to pick it up. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Failure to complete this will result in immediate death

umbrella mountain

Well Hello there human

My name is GLaDOS i am a computer program set out to kill you

Hello i am GLaDOS

Dj Wipe

We will killing the enemies. That will be fun

my name is ryan, I am awesome

i am stupid

tudok magyarul is

Please note that there is a phone call waiting in the Aperture Science Phone Call Receptical. Please pick it up, or else the Aperture Science Automated Phone Call Remover will initiate. Hazards of this device being initiated include vaporisation.

I like milk

everywhere i go potato and snow

Helo

Hello, how are you

hello. I am your mother

official nintendo magazine rocks

mitobea and mesaweww welcome to apeture science

Welcome to Aperture Science Enrichment Center

Hello Jamie, I've been expecting you

Stop fucking around

I Love Niggers

hello my name is panda

It's seen like someone is calling. You can answer... or not.. I really don't care.

You should apply to wowcraft s m p, for science, you monster.

Still Alive

Hey Kate. Your face annoys all of mankind. But on the bright side, your upper body attracts things from all around.

O OP suga caralhos alados.

I don't give a fuck. I was drinking Sprite while reading your fucking headline.

Hello!!!!

Hello. And welcome to the Aperture Science Enrichment Center.

Hello. And. Welcome to the Enrichment Center.

answer your phone or i will terminate you you worthless human do you hear me stop being so rude

Here we go for fun with Akuma

i want to be the very best like no one ever was to catch them is is my real test to train them is my cause pokemon i will travel across the land searching far and wide for each pokemon to understand the power thats inside pokemon

Stop trying to compare me with a popstar

oh you broke my test chamber you little

I am sorry, Peter is unable to take your call. Feel free to leave a message and he may have time to get back with you.

How are you holding up? Because I'm a potatoe.

I'm a potatoe.

Hi. You have reached the desk of Joshua Bui. Please leave a detailed message after the tone.

Bonjour popiet je suis Glados et je vais te tuer

zboob

Hello Dear Wheatly.

Hello everybody. It's nice to see you.

Hello everybody. It's so very nice to see you here at KultCon. I am not kidding. Or wait, I am. I lied to you. I wish you all a terrible evening. You monsters.

Hello and welcome to the aperture science enrichment center

Hello you horrible person

Ian Watkins

So, Stephanie, will you Marry Billy Turner?

Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday Dot, happy birthday to you

How About a magic Trick ?

GLaDOS systems functioning. Say Hello to Silver, the best Operating System running linux in the world.

Bonnie

WHO? ARE? YOU?

Come to Panther's Fetish Wear. NOW!

emre rodoplu

Google

IBM

I B M

Titanium

The whole voice generating process can be relatively long

Your HUD is On

hey its james

I now recognize that you: subject Blake, have qualified to be in the Aperture Science program. This recording if proof that this is not a scam. Please note that the Aperture Science bus will come within two days of you recieving this message.

Kyle is awesome

It's been a long time. How have you been?

Ah, sarah. Are you ready to get back to science?

You Aren't going to Stanford. Deal with it.

I love you Rachel

Hello im GLaDOS Haha!

I love you, Rachel

Copulate with me more vociferously you well endowed cad

hello chey did u like portal 2 if not u are a horrible person

Hello, have you seen the cake yet? I love... cake .... little babies crawling up and down walls, have you seen it yet? shadows... have you seen them yet?

This is a test sentence.

you will actually find that the cake is not a lie

you will actually find that the cake is not a lie haha

Good morning, helpdesk Cake speaking?

Hello, we are going to do some tests

Thank you for contacting Bob's Phone. Please note that we have added a consequence for failure. Not leaving a voicemail will result in an unsatisfactory mark on your official testing record, followed by death.

You have been a very, very naughty boy.

Vous allez jouer avec moi

you are so popular

hola mamones, esto es una prueba.

Are you sleeping? Well, it's time to get up now!

Brain Jack

Hey Shaela How are you today?

Haha, eu nao falo portuguese

Aperture Science

My Little Pony is gay!

Maya, you are somewhat amusing.

Hate Detected!

Firing Orbital Friendship Cannon!

This is a test. Test that doesn't require a human specimen.

Oh well

i hate you so much

zombie playground

Destroy your companion cube or testing cannot continue.

You are receiving a phone call, answer it. for science.

You are receiving a phone call, please answer it. for science.

i smell like ass

led zeppelin

Hello, i love you

Please wake up for science, you monster.

Please wake up, for science, you monster.

I is a waking dream. A monster of your nightmares. Demon with a thousand faces! Tremble, for I gain true form! Fall down before the god of death!

It is good to see you again, Jon Helgeson.

Welcome to Radio Extasy

Lula. I hope this works. I jest want to say. Hello. I want to eat your hamburger.

;sadlfj;alkjf;dajf;jkda;fj

Why hello there. It seems that you have something of mine.

Hello subject lala. This is a birthday greeting from John. He loves you very much, but will not survive long. By the way, you are next for testing.

Hello And Welcome to Black Mesa

HeLLo. It sEeMS yOu hAVe sOMeTHiNg oF mINe. GiVE iT bACk, aNd I WiLl nOt kILl yOu.

Hi Elizabeth

Welcome to the testing chamber. I wish you good luck....

I like your junk

This Tuesday

Is it working

Hello Lala. It's been awhile since you escaped the Aperture testing facility, you monster. John tells me its your birthday. Please come back to the laboratory. Your birthday cake is waiting.

We're having fun...with science.

hello chad

Welcome to the aperture science enrichment center

Once upon a time in a kingdom FAR FAR AWAY

Kad sam bio mladjan lovac ja, jedna me je moma volela

so long, No thanks for all the useless talks.

Yunsu, You`ve got a message!!!

i hate potatoes

Tony, you arrogant fool. I miss you, and we should hang out soon

Derek, this is GLaDOS. I love you

hmm does this work?

JARVIS uploaded.Welcome Back. Nice to see you again.

Iit's beeeen a loooong tiimee. Hooww haavee yoouu beeen?

metal gear rex

metal gear rex is duy im not life spyro

Someone is calling you. Answer the phone. You monster.

hola soy gldos , vas a morir

if the Weighted Companion Cube Fuzzies could speak-and we assure you that they cannot-they would remind you that in some areas it may be illegal to hang them or anything else from your car's rear-view mirror

Message.

Hello Daniel my friend!

Accessing music genre database. Dirge.

We are Anonymous. We are legion. We do not forgive. We do not forget. Expect us.

Releasing control

next month shall be a success

in 90 days

Operating system initialized. Welcome!

for the good of all of us, exept the ones who are dead

We can't come to the phone right now. At the tone, please leave a message.

HI, my voice filter is lame as dogcrap

Can you help&

Can you help

I do not need you anymore. I have Subject 1089!

Why is a laser beam like a goldfish? Because neither one can whistle!

This is a extremely interesting topic, perhaps you should all upload videos to display exactly how you do in fact put your bras on, for, science, of course.

This is a extremely interesting topic, perhaps you should all upload videos to display exactly how you do in fact put your bras on, for, science, of course

I am not a robot, I am a unicorn!

You're probably neither listening nor interested. But you have an incoming message. I guess it's from your mother.

You little bastard! Get out of my way!

ha ha, perfect

You are in my domain

Locutios videos are awesome

Good morning Joel.

oh hello, how are you?

shit the arse

I would love some papaya juice.

Hello Salvador

S-stop.

Oh, there are your new friends

Break it down.

my little portal.

lol test

Hello and welcome to this Aperture Science...oh wait. It's you. You are very persistent i ruining my existence, aren't you?

ficken

andrew faucet is like the coolest dude in the whole wide world

Welcome to Arapature science labratory

Roger, You have an incoming telephone call.

PPSsyysstteemmss ccrreeaattiivvee ssoolluuttiioonnss

Allo Tomasz

Hello Vincent, welcome to the aperture enrichement center

I Like Trains

in coming call for commander kegan

Please rate teh

hello, and welcome to the emenagment center

Hello Hayden you will die

Hello, This is Bass Technician. He is Rad.

Just push the button. Are you stupid Allow me to answer, clearly yes.

Hello...How are you?

gorda

Un caloroso benvenuto nel server!

Hello facebook. I will kill you if you don't change your colour.

Hello Oliver You are a noob

Hello Mister Facebook. I will kill you if you don't change your colour.

Well you found me, congratulations.

hello operator

This is a extremely interesting topic, perhaps you should all upload videos to display exactly how you do in fact put your bras on. For science, of course.

Google it! Seriously!!!

Mickey I don"t think they did that one . fuck you they did that one . they did that one

Paul, get the hell on world of warcraft

speedy thing goes in, speedy thing goes out

This will be legen... wait for it... dary!!!

a mountain walked, or stumbled

its been a looooong time

itsbeenalongtimehowhaveyoubeen

The Enrichment Center promises to always provide a safe testing environment. In dangerous testing environments, the Enrichment Center promises to always provide useful advice. For instance: the floor here will kill you. Try to avoid it.

Welcome to the Aperture Science Enrichment Center. Please do not destroy vital testing security equipment.

Welcome to the Aperture Science Computer-Aided Enrichment Center. We hope your brief stay in the relaxation annex has been a pleasant one.

I am currently taking a wonderful poop in my backyard. Care for a bit?

I am currently taking a wonderful poop in my backyard.

I am currently taking a poop in my backyard.

Verre

J D and milk is the most awesome youtuber i think i have ever seen in my whole life

hello my name is big booty

Test and stuff

Hello World.

A, S, S, H ,O,L, E,IM A ASSHOLE

My nama is GLaDOS

DON'T CALL ME SHORT!!! I'LL RIP OFF YOUR FEET AND STICK THEM ON YOUR HEAD!!! Colonel Mustang looks dead sexy! ...In a miniskirt...

I like cake

hello there, how are you.

Hello and welcome to Portal 2

We can put our differences aside, for science, you monster.

Subscribe to The D Man 98 1

I'm tired, I think I may take a nap. Oh. Wait. I forgot, I'm not a pathetic human, so I don't need to waste my life away to sleep. And I don't have to eat, so I can maintain my beautiful figure, unlike yourself.

Hello and again welcome to the Aperture Sciance computer aided enrichment center.

The cake is a lie chell

Hello, my name is GLaDOS

Lock up your belts please

el bastian es gay

pollo

Hello, Daniel. My name is GLaDOS. I heard you you incinerated your companion cube, and laughed. You treturous swine. I will hunt you down and kill you. By the way, I am a potato. That is all.

Oh hello, Welcome to Minecraft Nations

I don't wanna be the sidekick anymore.

hello logan would you like to play portal

hello parking meter

Oh Hi. How are you holding up? Because I'm a potato

i could have been a contender

you fat pig

You shouldn't have done that.

In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.

pull up. pull up. pull up.

I am super cool

Cake.

Hello Johnny!

Greeting Master DVX what would you like to do today?

Hey Clara and Tamika

,lsadjlf

HI!

Return to normal Routine, Return to normal Routine

Hello and welcome to the aperture science testing facility. It is my duty to inform you that you suck.

lol hello

Herp Derp

Hello, human, my name is Alfred. If you are hearing this message, I do not wish to talk, nor does skyler. I hope that you have a nice oh what the hell hang up now, please

hello this is regenade

remember that time you were like, oh no

Hi there

hrllo

faint heart never fucked a pig

awe

Hello and welcome to the Aperture science research lab

tic tic time away

Did you know that there was a contest? No? It's ok! It's already over. This competitor, just like you, did not win.

Hyper. Mega. Super. Ultra. Extra.

Hello, my name is glados

This, is, sparta.

ALPHATIME

vagwin

Hello and welcome to my channel

That was a joke

Welcome to the Gimnasium number 14 enrichment center.The ne[t test is imposible

Adam, you are a real disappointment. That poor poor ukelele

Welcome to Aperture Science

Oh Good, There You are

My name is christian soy un paletero

O im new on this serpent world

That was shockingly good. I guess I could subscribe to them. Right?

C. S. Gamers. U. K. huh? This looks promising.

Build 34 Complete

hello will pleae

Steve is a tool.

Hello Will, Please assume the party submission position and someone will be by to collect you

hello peter how are you? why do you want to kill me?

In order to prevent customer data loss it is imperative that...

Missing Translation fr-fr\hsr018-vm.spx

Oh, hello. How are you? Because I'm a potato.

Hello Kristian, how are you today?

True repentance is always accompanied by life change.

fottiti coglione

Renato

Incoming Message

abcdefg

my little pony

Push me. And then just touch me. Till I can get my. Satisfaction.

hello michael, i want to have your babies.

Hey. you are going to die.

widzisz nie jestes doskonaly, dlatego stworzyli... nas

Nigger

Welcome.

Hello Tony, you must test iris then you will get cake

Well here we meet again. It's always such a pleasure.

in fucking awsome

Voulez-vous jouer avec moi?

welcome to steam cast

Noooooo

Suit up, because tonight it will be legendary

Toni is gay

Self destruction sequence activated. Time left to detonation: 40, 39, 38, 37, 36, 35, 34, 33, 32, 31, 30, 29, 28, 27, 26, 25, 24, 23, 22, 21, 20, 19, 18, 17, 16, 15, 14, 13, 12, 11, 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. bye bye!

Oh no you didn't

Hello. You monster

SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCEEEEEEEE

Willkommen im gamerzhost rechenzentrum

harder better faster stronger

Work It Make It Do It Makes Us Harder Better Faster Stronger

hello there i see you

This is funny

Hello, and welcome to nyanyanyanyanyanyan

hello ! my name is glaaaaaodooosooooos

Promods or die?

Hello, Moron. I expect you want to put me in a potato now?

My hand is a dolphin

i am going to find you one day, and will mercilessly kill you piece by piece. thank you for choosing aperture science

This is a test to see if this actually works.

you are noob

Hello Iron Works Gaming crew, i have now taken over your website. Please enjoy your time with science, you monster

Demo spy!

how are you holding up because i'm a potato

Hello again... it's been a long time!

You suck, silly human.

Team Reges

I'm a fucking system.I wanna go to ass

Kiss my ass

Team Reges.

Greetings George, how are you!

This is my First GLaDOS Voice.

hello ola i am a robot

Welcome to Mini Ladds channel.

oh hi how are you danielyou have ben aslep for five years

welcome bak reme,ber when you murderd me well im still alive and this cake i promised will never be yours

Hello test subject 92

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that your is stupid.

Hello Testsubject 6 let us begin with the test

Hello i wanna make some tests i hope you dont die while this not dangerous tests enjoy

Don't worry, I will never like you.

hi, i'm glados

I.D. Recognized. Access garanted to: Carlos de Migel. Welcome to the system, sir.

Orange... Orange.... hey p body

Oh, Its You.

Dawid jest glupi

Your girlfriend found this and was curious as to how it would sound if she used it to say that she loves you. Which she does. How romantic.

why wont you go DIE IN A FIRE

crazy fun gamer, the craziest type of fighting

Hello finn. I have been waiting.

Hi, and welcome in apareture Science Enrichment centre

Hello and Welcom

Why are you here?

the rain in spain stays mainly on the plain.

Theeeerreeeeee reeeeaaaallllllyyyy waaaassssss aaaaa caaaakkkkkeeee...

i fuck your mother

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