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MessageDownloadDate addedDate processed
Scott edwards is awesome
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ERIDAN YOU NOOKSUCKING BULGESTAIN, DONT YOU EVER FUCKING TRY TO FILL ANY OF MY QUADRANTS EVER AGAIN. IF YOU DO I SWEAR I WILL KICK YOU IN THE BONE BULGE SO HARD YOUR LUSUS WILL FEEL IT
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Hello Kimberly. Congratulations on helping to ensure the non extinction of the human race. You monster.
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Hello Kimberly. Congratulations on helping to ensure the non extinction of the human race. For science. You monster.
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Rise and shine, TEST SUBJECT NAME HERE. Rise and shine.
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This is the part in the set where we roll on the dubstep.
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Andy
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Andy's Calling
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Cam
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Cam's Calling
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Abi
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Abi's Calling
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Alex's Calling
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Becca
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Becca's Calling
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Ben
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Ben's Calling
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Chris
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Chris is Calling
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Beware!
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Curtis
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Curtis's Calling
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Dad
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Dad's Calling
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Ellie
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Ellie's Calling
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Emma
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Emma's Calling
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Gemma
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Gemma's Calling
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George's Calling
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Grandad
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Grandad's Calling
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Iona
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Iona's Calling
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Greetings, Troubleshooters.
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Izzy
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Izzy's Calling
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Jacob
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Jacob's Calling
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oh no, who put my toast on the floor. i want to eat it but now its not-eatable roflcopter
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Kate
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Kate's Calling
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Kyle
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Kyle's Calling
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troll face
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Hello Re In.How Are you this evening. not dead i hope.
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Hello my name is your final destination
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Oh hey Jeremy I just wanted to thank you for turning me into a fucking potato. I know you wanted to see the live action film. But the sad truth is, Portal will never be popular enough to make a movie out of it. Good luck with your stank ass hoes. Cheers!
Download08/24/2011Not recorded
Oh hey Jeremy I just wanted to thank you for turning me into a fucking potato. I know you wanted to see the live action film. But the sad truth is, Portal will never be popular enough to make a movie out of it. Good luck with your stank ass hoes. Choos
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Miku Hatsune and I have infiltrated your computer. What do you have to say about that?
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Hi i am glados
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Hello and welcome to th aperture science enrichment center. Wilhelm Klopp is awesome
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The only question is, who do I want to nail more?
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owen is a fool
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Hello this is the youtube channel from TheBododos
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Hello I am gay
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hello this is a new testmessage
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Ab jetzt bist du auf dich allein gestellt!
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Oh, hello there. Sorry I missed your call
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Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn
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hoi katie
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How is it going?
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I love my Lemonpie, my Riffy, and Little Tiny Elvis in My Love's Tummy.
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Hello, and wellcome to the ultimate cinema.
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Ich habe lange auf dich gewartet
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That is no moon.
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I need, like, 8 million animals!
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Hello. Welcome to... RRRRRRRG. Rat Man. It's been a long time. Well, I guess you're about to win. Or not.
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Command Codes Authenticated
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Command Codes Invalid
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Looks like you should have gone with A
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Hello Bob. Would like coffee? Or perhaps tea. Or maybe you would like to stop breathing. I can help you with that.
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Hello this is Teresa Boettrich. Thank you for calling Please Leave a message.
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i like to tease people for science
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The Cake is a Lie
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The cake is a lie, Josh Rizzo.
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Yo dog, I heard you like portals. So i put a portal in your portal and...oh god, no!
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I love you! But, sorry, I have to kill you.
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Hello user, welcome to your personalized windows environment.
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Hello, you have reached Gary's phone ! Gary is not here at the moment, please leave a message after the beep.
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Warning....Low Battery Please Recharge.
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Welcome to Josh L TV
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you are a idiot
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My Name is Orianna. I can solo mid with no tele tele teleport, no teleport, no teleport
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Hello. Welcome to the sub obtimal outcome facilty.
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Hello Mathias. Would you like some cake?
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Have a nice day
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Hello, I like to watch stargate and I would like to go to a convention to meet actors
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Email
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Hola amigos, les invito a jugar aperture craft 2
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DJ Cool Story Bro Tomorrow at eight pm pacific and DJ War Hose on thursday, also at 8 pm pacific!
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Do you have the source to the eye server? May I have it?
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hello and welcome to apperture science
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witam w apeczer sajens
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Do you want to schniff? Schniffen on my Schnaken? Schniffen my Schnaken, what is that all about?
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This is the curiousity core.
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Hello, are you there?
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dose this GLaDOS voice generator even work
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A SS HO LE IM AN ASSHOLE!!!
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Welcome to the moon
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hi doody
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hello, cole
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O, it's you, hello agen
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Only humans allowed
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Thanks for believing in Aperture Science.
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Welcome To ACE's Channel, I hope you don't stay to long.
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I like my little pony
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System Scanning
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Hello Zacharawr. Glados loves you.
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some hiney would be nice
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hello, my name is Alex Ulanch
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hello, whats up
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What are you doing? You can't escape you know. Your not even going the right way. Hello?
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Thank you for being in your seat, Wildcat. Class may now begin...
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Class is now over...please leave. Do not look at me like that! Leave! And have a nice day.
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I am sorry I can't take your call but I am afraid you are dead
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hello phillip
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Hello Faith, how are you today?
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Pewping is easy. Your body takes care of it naturally. When it is ready to come out, your colon and aynuzz will take care of the process.
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this is only a test
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Starting the measurement process in 3, 2, 1
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Rahul get out of Rohan's room.
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Hello Patrick. How is Alaska? It is pretty warm in your hometown.
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one two three four
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I am the only one you should be concerned with at the moment
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This is a test.
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I really want to see your reaction to this. Trololololollololollololo oh oh oh oh oh!
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lol troll
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do you want cake? TOO BAD! Its all gone, i ate it. Ha ha ha!
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hey tu quedate quieto
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trollololol train
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hey tu quedate hay
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i miss the cake ):
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NO! Stop that you littel idiot!
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Stop it! that's not how you use that!
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Heather Ormsbee, Jeremy just wanted you to know he loves you.
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Nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan !
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troll lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol
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do you want cake? TOO BAD! Its all gone, I ate it alll up. Ha ha ha!
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Conner! What are you doing?
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Oh... Hi. I`m GLaDOS. You are a robot? Or a robotorex?
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ok, for a littel idiot like you, you done very well in that last test
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the legend of derpy derpy derp derp
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Hello Amanda. Welcome to the Apeture Science testing chamber
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Critical Error
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Hello Tyrell, I just wanted to let you know that I hate you
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stop lookin directly in the divice, you will go blind
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you idiot
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Hello and welcome to the Aperture Science Computer Aided Enrichment Center Application Center.
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that whould be funny if it wernt so sad
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hello jack this is glados, i would turn around if i were you
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Why do you want to know that dave?
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A, S S, H O,L E, ASSHOLE
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Sophy Qualman Paul Collett
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still a working
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why the fuck have you call service desk?
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Hello Andy, Your A Noob
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Pixel Fusion are a bunch of noobs
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The Conscience of a Hacker Another one got caught today, it's all over the papers. "Teenager Arrested in Computer Crime Scandal", "Hacker Arrested after Bank Tampering"... Damn kids. They're all alike. But did you, in your three-piece psychology and 195
Download08/24/2011Not recorded
hello, welcome to my channel
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sou foda
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Star sensitive inferno!
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zarko is a raging homosexual who wouldn't know testing if it bit him in the ass
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Ready
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Perfect world is hardly perfect. Yar!
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Up down jump around get down hoo ha
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"Got it memorized?" - Axel.
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Welcome Test Subject 389, to the Aperture Science computer aided Enrichment Center. For today's test, you will be TROLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLING
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despierta francisco
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Hello Tony.
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You can not do that
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hola como estas humano, me mataste adios
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wait how did you get in here
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How are you?
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Dennis is not available right now, Please leave a message after the beep.
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Stephanie
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hello, did you know dipset is one of the greatest supergroups ever created? Shut up, no you didn't.
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good day
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hello there this is aperture science
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Holly, I thought that you should know that damon loves you!
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Superman is such a jerk!
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Allmendinger
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Hello and welcome to the enrichment center. I'll make you wish you could die.
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Text message from robyn hamano
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Mr. Goral, Mikey is calling
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Star Wars: The Phantom Menace is the most disappointing thing since my son.
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Well, I called you up. To wish you a happy birthday. But it seems it's past due, I'm afraid that now I only want you gone.
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nate wake up. noooow
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hello diego welcome
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I'm not here right now, leave a message.
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I'm not here right now, leave a message and I'll get back to you soon.
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Hello How are you
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Attention, you have an incoming message
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bring me to town
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It's been a long time, Jared? How have you been? Why have you not contacted me since I let you loose? I'm insulted. I want you to come back for some testing. But I think we can put our differences behind us. For science. You monster.
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what is up dog
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wow. you are really fat
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Are you a donkey?
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Moirae is the heaviest band in the world.
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You have called me. Was it worth it? Well now you are still listening and im still alive. So LOL. LOL indeed. Anyway leave a messege cause you have wasted my time. Goodbye Caroline
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You will be baked.
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This is absolutely absurd and doesn't work.
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Oh my god.
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andrew you have a very little pee pee hahahaha for ever and ever and ever
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Atmosphere loves to eat cats and dogs
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Hello michael. It's been a long time.
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I like big butts and i cannot lie. you other brothers cant deny!
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Welcome to the Marbrisa apartment complex, enter the elevator
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if arthur has six coconuts and buster has eight coconuts, then how many coconuts does francine have
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You GOt to be kidding
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hello hools this is glados.
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You are listening to strimmer
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hello subject 599
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RCTV presents talking about your generation
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Testing
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welcome my sweethearth
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Saliff Tucker
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Hello. I glad to see you. You dont make me good, because you die. Its easy.
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Hello, and again, welcome to the Atmosphir science facility Today we will be testing our co-operative initiative.
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lol I hate you
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Hello, Daniel. You know who this is. You should come and pick up your matress at Helge's place. Or else you will be submitted to testing. Unpleseant testing. I am looking forward to it.
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I have a huge pee niss
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Bienvenue sur notre serveur
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Hej jestem GLaDOS a ty to lilil the cake ,wait , the cake is a lie
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i'm coming
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Oh great. You are here Declan. Let me get this straight. You want to be the star of the podcast? Tough nuggets. Tom is the best. No matter what your phone says. He put you here to be haunted by happy cow. Goodbye.
Download08/25/2011Not recorded
Welcome to Castle Bravo.
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Och, look, someone likes you. Well done. I am really happy about that. Congratulations. But seriously, you' ve got sms.
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Tom Wingfield is a homosexual
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Yes
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If you want
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Hello, what do you want?
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hello son of shit
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Hell to the no.
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Oh joy... you got a message
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Aperture Science... We're better then you, and we know it.
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boom
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i want to play a game with you. a dangerous one.
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i wont yuo dai
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Hello... You've reached the voicemail inbox of Steffen. Please leave a detailed message and I'll get back to you as soon as possible. Thank you.
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Hello Tom, buy Portal 2 now!
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I kill yuo kill yuo kill yuo Samyraiko Error Error mathar facker mathar facker
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Hello this is some random testing project.
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Welcome to my ubber game.
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mange ma bite
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Marina We Miss You
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Winning
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je vais essayer de parler en francais
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Hello Markus
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Hello, the person you are trying to reach is stuck in a test chamber. Please leave a message after the tone. From, GLaDOS
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This is anonymous. We do not Forgive, We do not forget
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Greetings. Welcome back Chris. I've been waiting for you
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the cake is a lie and you will died if you eat the cake.
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you will died here if you eat the cake
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the cake is a lie dont eat it
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read me first
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Hi Simon Do you long to DreamHack? your little Noob from your friend Richard
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Tristan ist cool
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I am GLaDOS. You are very handsome
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hi this is aperture labs
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gump run ...run for god sake
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jureeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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Hello ! I want to tell you that I'm still alive !
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Oh there ou are
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Hello your computer has been detected and will be destructed
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Watch Your Ass Children
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Hello everyone!My name is GLaDOS!
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hello hitler
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No way this is going to work.
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Is this really possible?
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Hello? Are you a turret, Because if you are not, i will eat you.
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This tool lets you type in some text
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Heidi is awesome
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This is just a test of the system.
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i hate you, you stupid
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Hello Katherine
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Lit by The Moon Only.
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Blah Blah BLah balls boobies
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Oh, I see. A fatal error has occurred.
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you got a text
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I love dead babies
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I love eating dead babies
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you got a text message, monster.
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do you no how much i hate littel idiots like you! see i you can solve that one
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Darwin said it is not the strongest species that survives, nor the most intelligent. It is the one that is most adaptable to change
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do you no how much i hate littel idiots like you! see if you can solve this one
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lol fail
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And mountins fall down. Dad, James, where are you?
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To think, you stopped testing with me for, what... Halo: Reach? Silly boy.
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eight six seven five three zero nine
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Kelly Saiger, hope you are having fun looking after the old people you nyih!
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I want you gone
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Hello. I like big mummas.
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Rob is not here at the moment. Then again, when is he ever really here.
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Please leave a message after the tone
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why do people think im evil well i am
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nnnn
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Can i help you? To die! Ha ha ha ha haa.. ha.. I hate my life
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Will you co-op homecoming with me?
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God Jess open your eyes
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Jess you are so retarded
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hello Charlie and welcome to the copper industries testing chamber
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Continue Testing
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Meet the medic. modern medicine
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Nurse ! I need a Nurse !
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Go go gadget
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Lorein, get away from kelsey.
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Hello, and thank you for calling David Woolridge. Unfortunately for you, he's busy being an idiot, so please leave a message and he'll get back to you when he's done stupiding up the place. Thank you, and have a wonderful day.
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Fufufuuffu
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This tool lets you type in some text, and the server will generate a GLaDOS-like reading of the text
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Hello there my friend
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you found me well now you will died
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let's work together, for science, you monster
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Jonathan we have no more cake
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welcome to the first stage of your tray guguguh ning, I wish you all the best with zzzzz
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Julius Andrew needs more cake
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hello. and welcome to apature sccience
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I`m GLaDOS and i`m a very cool person.
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Benjamin.. You do not deserve her.. I do.. I should have her..
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Sup homey g
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Excuse me Sean. I hate to interrupt but I do believe you have an incoming telephone call. For the convenience of those around you please acknowledge it. Failure to do so in a timely fashion will be result in the death of a baby panda, shame on you.
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You don't want to skip that. You Monster.
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caitlin torkington is a weirdo
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We will now show you who is boss
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Please note that the test subject you have requested contact with is not in at the moment. Please leave a message and he may call back. If he's still alive that is...
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Hello, Elana.
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Hello Tiffany and David. Remember me?
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Ihr dummen Fraud Kinder... wir erwischen euch!
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Welcome
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Welcome.....You Monster!
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Welcome Daniel
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Welcome back daniel
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Extreme fusion you do what you must becouse you can
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Bienvenue sur l'ordinateur d'Anthony
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It would be funny if it wasn't so pathetic. Oh, what the hell, I'll laugh anyway. Ha ha ha ha ha.
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We have been awaiting your arrival, mister strauss
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Lololol so ghey
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Your computer is now booted
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you will not be alowed to leave Dominic
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At the enrichment center
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Hello, Jennifer. How was your day today?
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So here we are again
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hello c-mos
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hello i am a computer i will melt your brain, how are you feeling now knowing that i am talking to you and threatening to melt your brain. you must be a dumb dumb. hahahahahahaha
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Matthew is a moron
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hello sam, I am going to kill you!
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I will murder you
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fck
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Oh. It's you. You little gay boy.
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hello t j. i hope that you are finding colorado springs quite well.
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my name is glados and i am a stupid doodoo head from apeture science duh
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Well xavier, should we get back to the testing then ? just make sure to eat a potato at all times !
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Just wait for episode three it comes out tomorrow, haha what a joke
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Hi my name is Lauren
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Its been a Long Time
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H honey, Iove you!!
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Only want you gone
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Hello, I sadly must inform you that I was unable to connect you to the cellular device of Tami due to the fact that Tami is,,, away. Please leave your name, number, and desired response and I will inform Tami. Have a pleasant day.
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hola cerotes
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What are you doing?
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How many of you like to create hentai about me? If you are one of them, you are a very sick human being and you should not exist.
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Hello, you have reached Ziggy Palmer. He is not available to take you call at this time, please leave a name, number, and detailed message and he'll get back to you...probably
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hooray
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Hello. This is Benjamin's Voicemail. Please leave a message, following the tone. Then we will have some cake.
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Face.....Book? This is not within testing parameters. Continuing use of this Facebook may result in death. Yours, that is.
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hello i am glados i know you... yes you are rodrigo... nice to meet you
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Hello Brian, how are you?
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Why don't you just give up? There will be cake and we will have a party. Bring your daughter to work day is the best time to have her tested.
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Build Completed
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Build Completed successfully
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Build error Detected ! Please remove disc and retry !
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hello and welcome to counterserver science technology
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Trololololololololol
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Hello Terrence
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Well here we are again, Its always such a pleasure, remember when you tried to kill me twice?
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If you would please be so kind to go away!
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Fourscore and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation, conceived in liberty and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal. Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation or any nati
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Hello again. I have a vacancy for you. Can you test my new testchambers? If you can, go on.
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ive created a monster
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hi kyle
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Data files deleted!
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Hello Paddy
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ZYF is the stranger Zerg.
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ZYF is the stranger Zerg
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DJ Doctor Don
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I'm so glad you could join me today on this lovely summer evening.
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hallo ich bin glados
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Hello and welcome, let the testing begin
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Protomace, prehnane roboticky otvirak tatarske omacky
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Minecraft is very, very, very good fun.
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You have come all this way just to take revenge? First you kill me, then put me out of power. I was right. You really are a dangerous, mute lunatic. I never lose my cool about anything..... ARGH! A BIRD! KILL IT! QUICK! KILL IT! Oh, never mind. It's gone.
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Clint is amazing
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lolwut
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Hello, Ellie. How was your day?
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Keep working!
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Hello, Ellie. How was your day? How is Jerry doing? She must be getting big now.
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do a barre roll
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Hello what can i do for you ?
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bruce likes willy
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Hello I am GLaDOS How are you?
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Hello darkness my old friend
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Hallo Elena, ich liebe dich
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taste my gentle rubs
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Why are you so stubborn? Just get going and leave me alone.
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my ass looks so shiny
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you are watching hey its sully
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you are now watching hey its sully
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It appears you have a new text message. Maybe it's a friend. No, that can't be. You're very unlikable.
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Boujour et bienvenue sur le server
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Boujour et bienvenue sur le serveur
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your phone has started to ring, if this is to continue, the chamber you are in will self-destruction thirty seconds after the start of this message
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you have a phone call. but they have probably got the wrong number beacuse you're fat.
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OH it's you!!
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Hello World!
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Testnachricht
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bonjour c'etai une petit blagUe de ma part. aimerier vous retourner dans le centre pour de nouveaux testes? pour la science bien sur;
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thank you for calling amuz gourmet restaurant
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Don't make lemonade
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You are tested!
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Hope you had a good time in the camper van Jo
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dafafasfasfasf
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You are stupid.
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Nottingham Forest suck Reading's balls
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Hello. Welcome to CaTS at the university of Michigan
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du bist dumm
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Hello Wisit Gooble.no
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Salut la compagnie
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You are now in the mix with DJ Hurricane
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hello my friend. its nice to see you in here
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Oh Hello
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I'm sorry, Chell, I can't do that.
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hello my friend. please follow my introduction
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Test this or get sick
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Herp derp
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The Sick
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it is 6 o clock
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Good morning and welcome to the black mesa transit system.
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Hola todos vosotros
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Hello Patrycja. What is going up?
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IT WASN'T A FUCKING COMPLIMENT.
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hello my name is GLaDOS version of OS is 1.3567
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The cake was a lie
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unable to complay
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Kanko, tienes un mensaje
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ich bin schwul
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What have you done here
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My name is Neo
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You have reached Aperture science's employee Nathanial Morse, he's currently testing and will respond when completed
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Garfield used to eat lasagna, but now he gets destroyed by the traps. Look! A potato. The end. The end? That's not funny. Do any of you look like laughing?
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I am GLaDOS. Look for artifacts. How about Spongebob? Instead of laughing, we'll make him fly above air. Spongebob is very stupid. I am a potato. The end. The end? That's not funny. Do any of you feel like laughing?
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Hello and welcome to the Aperture Science
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I heard you like babies
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Well, Isn't this just great?
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bring your computer to the pc repair shop
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Hallo Denny
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we are anonymous. we are legion. we do not forgive. we do not forget. expect us.
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Hello, ScrOs is online, Loading primary functions
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one ring to rule them all
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cake, and grief counceling, will be available at the conclusion of the test
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I spent $70 on steam yesterday
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Hello, guys! How are you?
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PROSZE, PROOOSZE
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Edi in fischform
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Edi in fischform
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Hello josh
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Please note, this is not a hater video. It's a fan video about the awesome Ryan Higa. Warning! The following video may be inappropriate to children.
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Helo and welcome.
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Would you like to play a game? I have a few tests to run, then I can kill... uhm, play with you.
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hola k tal
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Hello, test subject.
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Camels
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Hello there Sasha. How would you like to play a game with me?
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Slap Me
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Dang. I was going to say, it's amazing how much of GLaDOS's voice is post-processing if they could fake it that convincingly.
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Bleed, mortal, bleed
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Klamath Technology Services
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Hello PedoJof... I want to kiss your back... Oooow, zhit...
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i love you, so, i have to kill you
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NOISIA
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Oh look here
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what the fu-boom
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Welcome to the Aperture Science Extended Stay Relaxation Center Number 8. Cake, and grief counseling, will be available at the conclusion of your message.
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Hello this is the US government broadcasting on all fm frequency alerting people of what is happening. By now you have noticed that the entire east cost has lost power due to hurricane irene.
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The storm has also flooded all of cape may county and the eastern parts of pennsylvania new york. The government meteorologist have informed us that not only is hurricane Irene causing great devastation to the east coast but another hurricane,
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hurricane randy has been seen in the atlantic. Hurricane randy has been currently set as a class 6 hurricane having winds over 170 mph and a total rain fall of 52 inches. There will however be a small break between hurricanes Irene and randy on monday
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Citizens are instructed to remain inside until monday morning. On monday you are instructed the board the windows of your house and travel west. Please do not remain in your homes and do not take this warning lightly evacuate on monday the 29th 2011.
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Good morning to you.
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No one will come to rescue citizens trapped in floods. This has been a weather emergency message from the us government god bless you and god bless america.
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potatoes are food
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Welcome To Aperture Labs Have A Nice Day.
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Aperture Science Extended Stay Relaxation Center Number 8
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Hello kevin, and welcome to android.
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you are my only regret.
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Hi there, Chell. I'm going to kill you know. See you in the after life!
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Hello, and again, welcome to the Alpha-Omega Testing Facilities.
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Heloo. Let's get started
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Hello, and again, welcome to the channel of 21DogTags21.
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House Of Moon
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why am I here? what is this for place?
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