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MessageDownloadDate addedDate processed
Oh, Isa. its you. would you like some cake.
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Facial recognition accepted, Welcome back Vary.
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HELL YEA
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Welcome to EJ 3 Games, enjoy the experience, and have fun! the tests isn't over yet.
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porra... quem fala?
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hello... how are you feeling? well i hope you feel good cause i will ruin your life... forever... i am going to kill you.oo.oooooo...
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We're a lot alike, You and I
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Testing testing 1 2 3
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You and I
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Hello. I am GLaDOS. My enemy is Chell. I want to bake, crush, burn, cut, destroy, and/or kill Chell because she killed me twice.
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ha ha you suck
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I know exactly how to make your lemons combust, Mr. Johnson
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Welcome to Patronum.tk
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Ace
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try to kill me
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Hello you've selected GLaDOS as the computer's default voice.
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adobe
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hello max you ve got mail
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fgb
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Hello Abraham, it is time to wake up
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The test is over, prepare to die.
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Hello. So you are Yashin Maru? Nice to meet you, then. Not at all.
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Am i aloud to have chocolate milk at the olive garden
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can i have chocolate milk at olive garden yes or no
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James you are going to die
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I Hate Patrick Mckerchar Arsehole!
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hello welcome to the enrichment center
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i killed you
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square code konya
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I am your robot king, filthy organics
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Welll done. You have permission to die.
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Well done. You now have permission to DIE!
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Dani, ready to die?
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The day our master emerges from stasis, I will graciously relinquish the title. But I believe that outcome is unlikely. Something to do with the quality of medical care around here. So continue buffing. We do want Megatron looking his best for the memoria
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You know you love me, I know you care Just shout whenever, and I'll be there You are my love, you are my heart And we will never, ever, ever be apart
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Daughton would you like to play a game?
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Noah needs to leave now
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Hello there Caleb
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the portal gun can lead you to the cake.
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I can assure you that you will be terminated for entering my room in three, two, one
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Well, you found my room, now you will die, you fat, adopted, monster
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Wildseven owns
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Sawachika Eri...she's just amazing
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Hello Jack. How are you today?
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Hello Jack. How are you today? It is currently two thousand eleven, do you think the world will end next year?
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good morning how was your night
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Test Completed. You now have permission
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Hello, again.
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Hello Maddy. I hope you are well today.
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for some this is all
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Legen wait for it..... dary
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how much wood could a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
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Thank you for agreeing to help with the functional testing, counseling will be provided for everyone upon successful completion of the patch.
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It is time to brush your teeth
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Hello and welcome Noah.
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this is a test. this is a a maybe testicle.
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Thank you for calling Southern New England Computer Services
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You better behave, or your time here could be really long.
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you will get cake
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Portal's perfection is impossible.
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I like to eat crap.
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sasasasas
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Hello, and welcome to the enrichment center. since we are now testing with robots, i feel we need to change our look as well. Welcome to Test-Craft
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John Newton your mother doesn't love you. You have been told lies all of your life. The only person you can trust is....no one.
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It's over nine thousand
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kami ang tropang khulets na nag sama sama sa iisang pangarap na mag champion
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Roger
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Hello welcome to OZ!
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Hello Cory, I'm going to kill you in your sleep.
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Whitey, it seems you have entered a world in which you are not in complete control. Do not fear. This is part of the plan.
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if i knew you were coming, i would have baked a cake
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I think you need a new head now
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you stupid moron
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hello connor what can i do for you today?
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hELLO and welcome to the apeture science online entertainment program
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The next test chamber is very hard!
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Hello My name is robert
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ah ee ooh eh oh
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beudh to wiros als yu tong dhau. good day i come in piece.
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Fuck bananas. You are a banana, so fuck you.
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la prochaine salle de test est impossible a resoudre
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Hello Tara what are you doing
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Hola soy julia
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hi my name is julia
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Viktor is the most horny man alive.
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Your mum
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This Was So Dangerous
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Well you have found me congratulations was it worth it because your violant bihavior the only thing that you manege to break so far is my heart maybe you can settle with that for a day i guess we both know that its not gonna happen you chose this path i h
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Your coffee is ready
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Hello, Christoph. How are you?
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You have a Text Message, Please attend to it.
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Eimantas Ulvydas
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Oh look, You have a text message. Good for you
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Hello! How are you?
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Dad, i'm space
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m m
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please incinerate your companion cube
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you are a lie
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Wheatley is the outcome of the greatest scientists in the world with the ultimate goal of creating the greatest moron who ever lived.
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mauro miente
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hello beech
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it was just taking up space
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You are a beautiful person. Please don't ever die.
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hello, welcome to the lab
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kyle perreca please dial the help desk, kyle, please dial the help desk
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Hello Anne, welcome... Lets test.
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hello i am a monkey
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If you are new to stuffing the bus or are a long time bus stuffer, you will enjoy donating time honored classics such as :
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Please shut down
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because im a potato!
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th cake is a lie
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You have reached the office of ben wells. I am unable to get to the phone right now so leave a message and i will call you back as soon as I can. Thank you
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You fail at everything... Forever!
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There you are, you Science Guy!
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unhappy refrain
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Aloha
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hey kelly this is so crazy
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i will kill a dog then kick a baby
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Ay gurl, I want to squitle on your jiggly puffs.
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The cake is waiting for you. It's delicious.
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you are kidding me. you say all the cake is gone?
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Welcome to the Aperture Science Enrichment Center, test subject number 174
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Welcome to MobiCraft
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Welcome to MobiCraft. We will now begin the testing. Great job. You parentless fatty.
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ironstrike
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chris we need to drink now
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wake up is to late to be lazing
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I am a slut
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hi my name is glados I work for a science company. If you have any questions about me contact my email at undeadleoatgmail.com
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Yo yo yo I am glados and I am cool.
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this is Sparta!!!!
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hello, colin
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hello ultranox
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Theres no party like a kitchen party cause a kitchen party never stops. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
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Thank you for calling us. Our business hours are eight thirty a m to five p m Eastern Standard Time.
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The neurotoxin has reached dangerously unlethal levels
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we are pleased that you completed the final challenge where we pretended we where going to murder you
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oh yeah!
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e13u192847239847902384
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mee num bre hess nelly hen cyna
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oh,its you,its been a long time.how have you been,i've been really busy being dead.
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Hello Jill
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Ok, look, we both said alot of things that your going to regret, but I think we can put our differences behind us, for science you monster
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You rang?
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You have reached enter subject here
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:3 La La La La La La La Whatever you have a call from the adoption center saying your parents are putting you back for adoption or maybe it is the cake.
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We're making good progress here
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Blableeblooblopp
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by the way. you were adopted
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ShoutPod
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DEANN EATS TOADS
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Hi and welcome to the Mobi Craft. Let the testing begin. You will be givin items such as wood to begin the testing. Please do not die, we do need test subjects.
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We are all stil alive
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courtney is a loser
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My pussy is wet with excitement.
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All my life I've been good, but now I, I, I, am thinking what the hell All I want is to mess around And I, I, I don't really care about If you love me If you hate me You can't save me Baby, baby All my life I've been good, but now Whoooa what the hell!
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Ethan is a fuccking fahgot.
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Ethan is a fuccking fahgot. He loves dicck in the asss.
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now what!?
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Hello Marcus, you are a horrible person!
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Welcome, I am lacey. I hope your computing experience is to be a most pleasant one.
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Welcome, To the Drunk....... tank.
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die juden
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Du bist dumm
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Why are you so serious
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yes yes do me harder
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I wonder, how much wood, would a wood chuck chuck? If a wood chuck, could chuck, wood? I'll tell you how much. LEMONS! LEMONS amount of wood!
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STOP!!!!!
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Lets play mit spass
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Hello, where am I? What a nice room we are in! Its nice is this your blood?!
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hy im glados
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hello. die you fucker
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yo my fly girl
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Lucas ist doof
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I am SODALG, the permanent replacement for GLADOS.
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Hello I have found you again
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ShexyB And Kamikaze The Kings Of The World
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Biniyamin Sinai i love you so much want to live with me i dont know what to do without you
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You are crazy, DUUUUUUUUUUUDE.
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Hello? Who is this? Ok, what is going on?
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Good morning Ben
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Oh hello. You have reached Faulty Towers. Please leave a message after the tone if you wan't someone to call you back. Have a nice day
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Welcome USER. Please stand still, calibration is in progress. LEFT RIGHT. DJ PECAONE PECA ONE P E C A ONE O N E
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Hello, and welcome to the apeture science Aids instructional video
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nico hello how are you talking to you alan GLaDOS from here I send you greetings apertures am
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Why hello Matt, I see you are bored.
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Hello Jack. I've been watching you since you were born and I decided your life had a severe lack of cake. Would you like some?
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i AM a psyco
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Hello KTSA, what are you boys playing tonight
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Hold him close. He is a focal member of the renegades, and it is thus beneficial to the Collective for an...internal interrogation with the sergeant.
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Goodbye netflix
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i am a big fat meanie
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que te pasa elbita
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Aperture science computer aided enrichment centre
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There is cake at the end, so you should watch the whole thing.
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Good morning. And a welcome to the black mesa transit system. This automatic train.
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Hello Adam, calling Rio donkey kong is rascist
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Hey Kyle, get on your e-mail.
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Hello, I'am Glados! :D
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hello i am taylor
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Adam you are rascist for calling rio that
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how are you gentleman? all your base are now belong to Aperture Science enrichment centre.
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Welcome at Intellium
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Hello its time i finally did whats right
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We're about to go to lunch, I wish I could eat some meat, but instead I will continue to ruin your life
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hello kevin, please stand still while i watch you die very slowly
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hello kevin klonne
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Cade esse filho da puta?
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Polly wants a cracker.
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hello i am glados and i hate you so
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Hi i am not availible at the moment if you are calling regarding your computer services or future services please leave a message with your name phone number and brief message thank you.
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Hello, and welcome to the fourth Crew Thirteen Hunger Games
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Welcome to the Fourth Crew 13 Hunger Games
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You shall never make it through alive, human.
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I am almighty
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You have recieved a text message. I suggest you read it, or you may die.
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I'm glad you're back. Welcome.
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you pesky fool
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do not worry i wont kill you i have a cake for you the companion cube is going to be there just dont bring a weighted storage cube the party with the cake is down that flaming pit go down it............please
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Hello, I'm Back!
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this is dj cam on the blfm radio
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Have Fun with Science, You Monster
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Hello, This is aperture science's automated answering machine. Please try again.
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Would you rather believe a hopeful lie
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Can you see
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Lawsuit in 3...2...1...
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you have taken down the German Forces now you die
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Hello Gothic how are you today?
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Nice job breaking it, hero.
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Hello fat ass
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im gonna kill your famiily
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Welcome to the testing lab i am Gla Dos
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Hey Joe you will be stuck here for many years so sit down and enjoy the ride
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Hello and welcome to TKO. Please remember, Strangerover loves you
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I Can't wait for the weekend to begin
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I do not even care
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Hola, mumujejaiko tu no se por que pero presiento que vas a morir zzz
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heelo and welcome to zach's house
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I love this station.
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Kami Tsunami
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You've got a new message!
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Ring Ring. Oh please kill me now! Ring Ring.
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Hello Kyle, how have you been.
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TOUGH FINGERS ONE FOUR ONE
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I cant wait until the gas gets to you. Seriously, I can take a bath in this stuff, Put it on my cereal, rub it all in my eyes..... Oh, Look. You're still alive. Go away so i can bask in my gas.
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Hello people im GLaDoS there will be cake
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Hello and wellcome
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hey liane. this is cool.
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hi stella
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this is the best thing in the world
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hi michael
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Hello Melissa how are you today.
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Hello Kirk. Have you been a naughty boy lately? You better be nicer to people, it will come back and bite you in the buttocks.
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you are a loser. now I only want you gone. I am so hungry I need some food.
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Hey what's up justin
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he saw dead crow
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hello greg, how are you today?
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i do not understand the point of this test
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hello my name is me
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what is your name? how are you
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Hello dustin, this is gladdos. How are you doing today
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Hello. I am GLaDOS, from the Aperture Science Enrichment Center. It's a pleasure to meet you at Animazement.
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Welcome, Taylor, to your awesome Mac Book Pro.
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efwfw
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Stand by for nipple enlargment process number four.
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Nipple Enlargement? Really?
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your competency in a wide array of areas never ceases to amaze me
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you're the most dependable person I know
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hello ivan
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Kiss my grits.
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Hello. My name is Cosma, and I am here to terminate you.
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Hello, it's the super jimmy here
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Keep doing whatever it is you think you're doing. Killing you and giving you good advice aren't mutually exclusive. The rocket really is the way to go.
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incomeing email, may or may not selfdesruct once open. if i am lucky.
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I hate this fucking test
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Welcome to 365 flooring sorry we cant take your call at the moment
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Hallo und herzlich willkommen um Test im Deutschen Enrichment Center Halle
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I can not take your call right now. Please leave a message after the tone.
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behemoth online
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listen
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orange
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Geber
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The specimen has been processed, prior.
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SkilleR
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Skiller brings to you som hot hip hop beats
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Remember when you were affixed to something? That was nice, wasn't it? That stability...
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dubstep
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Pinkie Cake for mass murderer , it's just dubstep , drum and bass , music , my little pony , in the house , bringin some beats and wobbles
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There seems to be a snak in my Aperature Science mother board
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HI, and again, welcome to the aperture science enrichment center
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hi and again
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hello diman
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hello strider as you do
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hello strider
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you have received an email
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Welcome to this superb LAN party
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hello i am a monster
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I is a legend. com copyright pending!
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Hello there, why don't you come over here for jsut a second?
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hello you monstert
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we can put our differences behind us, for science, your monster
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i am a random spaz
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Welcome to this lan party, if you need Games please check out the following servers
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hi mike , enjoy
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Now what we have all been waiting for
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beaches suck
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Hello! Are you ready for testing? The next part will be rather difficult. So difficult that you may die.
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parker
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Oh, du bist es...
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hello cheeseburger
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CAW FEDO?!
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it's been a loooong time but i think we can put our diffrences behind us for science you monster
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hello. my name is olaf. i hate people.
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I am a really gay asshole
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Hello , where you are
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I'm going to murder you Becca. You're nothing but a gnome. Yes. A gnome. How do you feel about that?
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Hello. Welcome to the land of Portals. The cake is a lie. Always remember.
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Hello Gene, I am going to kill you in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.
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Oh, it's you. I'm so glad you've graced me with your presence. Oh wait, no I'm not. That was a lie. Did you hear my sarcasm? Now make your way to the incineration chamber. That's right. Burny burny death death. Love, GLaDOS.
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you have been here for 5000 years your specimen has been processed and you are my new old test subject
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Hello. My name is GLaDOS. We should be friends. Wait. No. Never mind. We could never be friends. Friends don't try to kill each other.
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Well,i am here to kill you
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You should have turned left at the last light. This is why your parents left you.
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Hi I am GLaDOS and I am giong to kill you
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Hello, and welcome to the aperture science enrinchment center. Tommy everett is amazing
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Hello, and... okay, i am getting tired of this, hundreds of thousands of tests im done! time to fire up the nerotoxins
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go to get fuck
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CHUPPA!
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hey you, what the fuck?
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has
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The following message has been removed, Zamuraiz. Speak and you will die.
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The following message has been removed, Zamuraiz. Speak and you will die!
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anti citizen 1
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I would ask you to think outside of the box, but it's clear you're box is broken.
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Hello again. Please make sure that your feet are on the floor.
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Hello, and welcome to the enrichment center.
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The Aperture Science Enrichment Center will be pleased to have your analysis within file
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Scanning...
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Who are you? What is that? Oh, What's that? What's THAT? What is THAT? Ooooh, that thing has numbers on it!
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Unbelievable. You, *subject name here,* must be the pride of *subject hometown here.*
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Two plus two is... Ten. IN BASE FOUR! I'M FINE!
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Two plus two is... Ten. IN BASE FOUR! I'M FINE!!
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I would ask you to think outside of the box, but it is clear you're box is broken.
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Have I lied to you? ... I mean, in this room?
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I said the Weighted Companion Cube will never THREATEN to stab you. I never said that it will never ACTUALLY stab you.
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When I said "deadly neurotoxin," the "deadly" was in massive sarcasm quotes. I could take a bath in this stuff. Put in on cereal, rub it right into my eyes. Honestly, it's not deadly at all... to me. You, on the other hand, are going to find its deadlin
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Well, you found me. Congratulations. Was it worth it? Because despite your violent behavior, the only thing you've managed to break so far... is my heart. Maybe you could settle for that, and we'll just call it a day. I guess we both know that isn't going
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Trust me, you don't want to know what ingredients we used to make that cake. I suggest you just eat it, and suffer.
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A strange game. The only winning move is not to play. How about a nice game of chess?
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Sorry, did I say something wrong? Pardon me for breathing, which I never do anyway so I don't know why I bother to say it. Oh God I'm so depressed.
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I think you ought to know I am feeling very depressed.
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we have so much in common you killed me i killed you oh wait i gues i haven't killed you yet
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Hello you monster, please proceed to hell. There will be cake for you after. Enjoy
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hello, you are a little fat
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You are stupid. Give me a hug!
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hola facundo
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Thank you for calling. If you know the extension number dial it now
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Thank you for calling fiber net
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Mastro lo prende in culo!
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fuck the haters dot tk
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Warez For You
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The time is now 5:03. Any work from this point forward will be uncompensated. Please leave now.
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I'm going to kill you, Andrew.
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I will kill you, Andrew.
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I dont want to die this way
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I dont want to die this way.
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Hello. I am a robot. Nice to meet you.
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The cake.....................it's actually a lie! HAHA.
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I have too go take a dump
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Good Morning Subject Number 15837 It is time to start your test. You may have noticed that this morning, you woke up in a very strange location.
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Good Morning Subject Number 15837 It is time to start your test. You may have noticed that this morning, you woke up in a very strange location. Here you will be using Portal to help you to get your path of victory.
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Please read your text messages... you monster.
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Threat (has been) detected
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Suspicious item (has been) detected
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Potentially unwanted program (has been) detected
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Scan (has been) completed
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Virus database (has been) updated
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Welcome to avast!
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Die, Gordon Freeman! And death to all others at Black Mesa!
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IM IN SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!
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Zane likes men
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That is nice
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This is a test to see whether this generator is worth downloading
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fred phelps
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Bonjour maitre
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We meet again Black Mesa
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the cake? bake, baby! bake!
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david i am sorry i was being a poop earlier
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Hello and welcome back.
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dead babies make a great side dish
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PARTY TIME WITH ANDREW PICARD
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Hello, Tiso.
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Hello, and welcome to this stupid thing
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ohld sacks
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Race
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zodac is a lie!
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Good news. I figured out what that thing you just burnt up did.
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Tina, please come to admin. Thanks
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hello, and, welcome to the aperture enrichment center. now go jump in a cement truck.
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hello, and,
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oh hello there. where the hell have you been? anyways, it's time to have fun. with science!
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Hi, you have reached Norstar Insurance Services. Sorry we are either away from our desk or on the other line. Please leave your name, number, and message and we will get back to you as soon as possible.
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negro
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Hello and again, Welcome to THUNDERDOME.
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Hello, this is only a test.
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So, can you move?
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What does Glados sound like? I would like this as a GPS. Please take the third exit, and then perform a U-Turn
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The Paranoid Gamer
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i want fuck you like animal
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God... He is a complete MORON
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i like pop
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shut up fred
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Hello? Hello?! Anyone there?!?!
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Everybody poops and if they don't they're an andriod
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Hello i am in need of a monkey
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Hello.Matthew can currently not pick up the phone due to laziness.Please wait in the Aperture Science lobby until he picks it up.Thank you.By the way,THE CAKE IS A LIE
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4 chan is for flags
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You know Alex, don't underestimate me or else you'll be sorry and Stasia won't last another minute. Goodbye.
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Hello my name is glados and im taking over for static dragon. if you want to talk to static dragon, turn around and come back in an hour. thanks.
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Hey moron
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Oh yes oh oh harder yes push it all in oh yes do it harder oh yes oh yes oh come on harder yes oh keep going oh oh yes
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Hey Panther. Panther. Panther. Hey, Panther. Wake up. Panther. Panther? Panther!
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Hallo wie gehts
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There's a hole in the sky, through which I can fly
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hello samantha. you are a boolu. go away. you monster.
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stephenson is a douche
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its been a long time
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Hello and welcome to the pluggs and dipps channel
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wasabikng is the best
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Hello user, main system is online
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Hey Simon, wie geht es dir?
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Good luck Colin, I'm sure you'll do well.
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This tool lets you type in some text, and the server will generate a GLaDOS
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what are you doing please stop
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I want to fuck you
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Deleating your trash
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Windows 7 O S is redy
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Good morning, and welcome to Black Mesa transit system... The time is... Oh, I hate this job.
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I believe thhis is bullcrap. You'd better amuse me.
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portal is big lol 123
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lage muring
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Hello! I'd like to say that this is awesome and could be better is somebody make a specific software to help us mimic GlaDOS realtime.
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tryrty
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hello time for you to die
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Surprise.
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Welcome to my channel youtubers. In here you will be informed with the latest news about gaming and will be able to watch alot of gameplays and great montages. Have fun!
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For your own safety, and the safety of others, please refrain from....
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The portal will open in 3 2 1
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Beebee, I love you Nacoonea moyaa maala
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BIenvenido a Umbrella
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helloy friend
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1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 0 Hi. Hello.
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1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 0 Hi. Hello. Ye!
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Proceed to highlighted route. Recalculating.
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Furb, The Enrichment Center would like to inform you that you have recieved a text message
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good bye, caroline
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etweywy4
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Welcome, the system is now up and running. Have a nice and productive day.
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Hello... Sleepy Inc. Welcomes you to Broken Buttons
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Caroline, go back in the depths of my mind where you belong.
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hello human. I think their for I am
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Hey, how's it going
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Hello. Child. Your phone is ringing. Can't you hear it? Why don't you answer it. Now.
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A nervous sausage bag ice on that large bagel. you monster
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You've been watching John The You Tuber
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Welcome to Ubuntu
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Hellllooooo
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here at wesley laboratories we try to find the cure for a d h d.
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Here at wesley laboratories we try to find the cure for a d h d and aids.
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apature science we do what we do because we can
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mi amor yo te amo con todo mi corazon
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You are such a noob
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there will be cake!
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ich hasse sie
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ich hass
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i hate so much
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Apparently your conscience doesn't weigh as heavily as your, well you.
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hey ich bin freako
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Welcome to the C K N Clan Server
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internet gratis para blackberry y android
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Hello, Tyrone. i Think lawsi is a pafta
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hello tyrone i think lawsi is a pufta
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Hello Notsy, thank you for playing Portal two
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hello, why dont you love me?
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Welcome to the internet!
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G-man was my creator
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Device Connceted
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Recycle b
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Recycle Bin Cleared
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Password Request
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Login Required
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Device Conncet Error
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I have cake. Do you want some?
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Now Started
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Hello, and again, welcome to the HP Pavilion computer enrichment center.
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Hello, My name is GlaDos.. Please Stop this.. The Cake was not Real
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You have reached Eric leave a message and i will get back to you
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gingers are evil
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hi , kill me
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Ciao e benvenuto
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