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MessageDownloadDate addedDate processed
I am very karlious
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I love Jakalope
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hello bich ass waldo
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Jakalope is the my favorite band in the world
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All you have to do is take a cup of flour, Add it to the mix. Now just take a little something sweet, not sour, A bit of salt, just a pinch. Baking these treats is such a cinch, Add a teaspoon of vanilla, Add a little more, and you count to four And you n
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Danilo gay
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Luan, ahh, vai tomar no cu
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danilo santos costa gay
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Hey you. What is up? Gurlfran??
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I do not believe you appreciate the levels of depravity to which you have forced me to sink.
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hello please leave a message
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I have analyzed subject Hiyoko's brain pattern and my deduction is that she is currently suffering from a loss in spirit broght on by her former loves betrayel
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Here is a Bicolor Parrotfish for your tank in Fish World! Could you help me by sending a gift back?
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In two point one miles, turn left.
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yeah man
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Justus, I love you
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Oh, my fucking god I want to die. Or maybe just kill you instead.
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You have reached Paris Thebeau's Aperture Science wireless communication device. She is not available right now, but please leave a message on the Aperture Science audio recording device after the tone, and she return your call as soon as possible
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Justin is gay
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i love you....you idiot
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Hello Young. You have done a good job. Simply good.
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We here at the
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your not the only one who has tried to make this test possibly to pass
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you are a foolish mortal
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I love Rick Tacular
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would you like to eat my stinking pussy?
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happy birthday Inella
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What the hell are you doing with my cube?
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heyyy
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Hello, my name is Megan.
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I lied to her, you know. Oh don't look so surprised. I was programmed for superiority in truth-enhancement. Do you think all those test subjects would have willingly participated in their victory incandescence if I had told them that it involved being bu
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Hello there, I know that you want cake. But i wont let you. Why? Because I say so,
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Me? You can see me?
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Cleezy
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Your message must contain a letter.
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Well, hello there, dearie
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Hello you. How are you?
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Hello and welcome to hell
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You should be doing your Japanese history homework. You'll regret it if you don't.
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i could eat a knob a night
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soisoisoisoi
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Gery I miss you
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Portal Gun Is Mashine Gun
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What the fuck is wrong would you, why would you do that?
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Attention! You have a phone call. If you do not answer in 10 seconds, phone will be annihilated.
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Hello my name is joe and I work in a button factory,
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hello you adam king beyler.
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we are the champions
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you are logged in, thank you
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you are now logged out, enjoy your day!
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sister maristella?
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Are they enemies? Sister Maristella?
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Well, you found The Ratman Ghost. Congratulations. Was it worth it? Because despite your Easter eggs finding behavior, the only thing you've managed to break so far... is his mind. Maybe you could settle for that.
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Hello Shawndra, Lance loves you very much!
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Hello, you have a text message!
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Access Denied: 115 Clearance Required
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Rooster Teeth should team up with Yahtzee for more cake fun!
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salut ryan
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Genetic Lifeform and Dis Operating System.
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BONJOURS
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The Morality Core is incomplete, fatal error.
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Hello Jose, this is console. A voice program has just been installed so that I may communicate more properly.
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Please refrain from smoking or nuerotoxins may be administered
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The candy bar is still open.
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Tienes un mensaje de texto, de seguro es publicidad.
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Yo've got a message, must be advertisement anywat
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you are a motherfucker
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ah, it's you. have beam a long time
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Hello and welcome to the Aperture Science learning enrichment center
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I've read some tutorials around the web on how to generate such GLaDOS-y sound files, and they're perfect, save one thing: sound files have to be created manually (using a text-to-speech software or recording from microphone, then applying effects). That'
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Holy cheese! The cake is destoryed. Some person told me that the cake is a lie, and stays as a lie. What? You do realize, when the cake is destoryed the test will stop. Thank you for failing this test club. Go to a chess club or something. Thank you.
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Hello Jeff, you look good!
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Hello. This is galdos talking
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Jeah I frefer GLaDOS texts
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Hello. It's me, Michael. I just called to tell you that yo face scares me. A lot. It's terrifying. Anyway, don't break any mirrors during your summer. Goodbye.
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bla blah blah, nonsence
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The message you entered has already been processed
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Here and now is it so cool to join the community with you!
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Hi, welcome to aperture labs! You are ready to start the tests
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Hello. I am here to introduce the band less than three. i hope you enjoy the presentation they have put together for you. enjoy and have fun.
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i am aviv tsafrir
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Welcome to the C.U. Market Place
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Hello Reuben. It's been a long time
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God bless Nigeria
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Hello ez itt a GLaDOS virus
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Time for you to die.
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Wait, say what?
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HI MOTHER FUCKER
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Testing is now complete Subject James Bourke please step to the inc
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Cake, and grief counseling, will be available at the conclusion of the test
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Ashley is a fail at burnout
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Luke is gay, GLaDOS FOR THE WIN
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Alfredo I kick you ass this nigth
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Welcome to WorldGoonSquad. Enjoy your visit.
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Oh, hello. Someone seems to like you
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Bonjour Neltharak
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Hello, Rory
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Hello A.J.
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HI A.J.
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hanja
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Hallo wie gehts?
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I dont like you. Thats not me. Its written right here.
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Alfredo I will kick you ass this nigth
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Downloading
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jeudiveo for science
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trolls balls
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Jeudiveo c'est super
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bobbytron
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This is GLaDOS. Hello Lizzy, would you care to join LP in a cooperative game of Portal 2? He only needs the cooperative trophies to obtain the Portal 2 platinum.
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Selfdestruct protocol activated. Please evacuate the facility immediatly.
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why are you here
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your not even going the right way
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Hello? Who's there?
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Remember our motto, there is a hole in the sky, trough witch thing can fly
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this next test is dangerous. i'll be right back
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Hallo Markus wie geht es dir ?
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I TOLD YOU TO LEAVE ME ALONE. IT'S OVER BETWEEN US
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Do not eat all the cake.
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Hello, I am GLaDOS- the one and only
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Why not play a game of hide and Go fuck youself?
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hell bart
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its been a long time...how have you been?
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King
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hello welcome to the aperture science enrichment centre
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i love susan
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Hi Natalka
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Dont go sleeping marta, i want to talk to you and hug you
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You idiot.
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aaAAaaaaaaaalalalallalalalalallalalalallaallalalala WAT
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hello again, how have you been?
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This was a riumph.
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ljllmlm
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fuck you you are a slut
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you have reached 1 2 3 4 5 6 7. Please leave a message after the tone.
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Multiple Targets Acquired
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Fix me!
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glatos
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Hello i'm Lucas, how as you been
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gay guy
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socks
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hello this is eternalau and we will be playing
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Hello/
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Well... excuuuuse meee princess. Lewis! Thera are creepers afetr us!!!
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Hello. You have successfuly completed the test. Now, go and eat a banana while driving your car.
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Come at me bro!
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This is not gonna feel good.
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Good morning, lemmings.
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To ja Glados
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Zginiesz marnie hahato ja glados pamietasz mnie perkornie
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lol u mad dawg
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Happy Birthday Zach!!
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Hello I am martin
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hi casey
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Syryon
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that was great!
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Bravo jeune homme, quelle culture !
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The TARDIS is a transdimensional time\space ship
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The Operating System has booted. You may proceed to browse it.
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I can see you now. You monster. You really think you fooled me, right?
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fgn
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Welcome to the world
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Simon, you rock!
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Welcome in Testcraft,test subject 105986.
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Milvus is a good man,player and friend !! HaHaHA
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Hallo Raphael
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vicky wagg
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bloody elle sucks
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hi dany, you are an asshole
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Kurt Guevarra sucks
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Zed tu dois finir portal si non glados te tura
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Hello And Welcome To Helpcentral1
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There is no cake!
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Ha ha, too bad
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I love the Rubics Cube!
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Chris is a smelly douche
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Download Failed
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ojete
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Somebody is calling you
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Somebody sent you a message
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Shut up, neebi
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Now You shall DIE!
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switchlemon is the best website on the interwebs, or else.
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Hello Andre.
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Hello Eilece.Operation Failure.Now closing programs and turn off the system. see you master. Hello Keyla
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Helllo jam how are you
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drink it
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Minecraft rocks.
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suck my little joystick
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Recycling can be fun
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bubba is a kitty
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I can't do that dave
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Brian, please turn the radio back on. Thank you.
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Hello and thank you
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Hello there, my name is Sciezka.
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Do you like monsters?
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Demo d r is the best person that has ever lived.
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I have come to the conclusion that I have no need for you, you will perish.
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1 18.25 ounce package chocolate cake mix. 1 can prepared coconut pecan frosting. 3/4 cup vegetable oil. 4 large eggs. 1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips. 3/4 cups butter or margarine. 1&2/3 cups granulated sugar. 2 cups all purpose flour. Don't forget garni
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Hekki
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hello, i am going to kill you
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Glados v2.146 Start Glados maked by Lordakin
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lol lol lol lol
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Hello, welcome to the desk of Arlene Martinez. Leave me a message.
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How are you doing Christa?
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I wonder whether this would be an awesome time for us to say good bye
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if you're looking for approval, you'll get none here. your actions were rather mediocre for my taste
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Hello. how are you.
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Eric Wilson is the man and derrick has a dinjy hat
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hello illapa
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FIRST TRY
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Hello, and welcome to aperture science laberatories. Fuck you.
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hello, how are you? good? then die.
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Aperture Science Polska
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Shield is down. I lied.
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privet ia glados
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hello ist me glados and i am still alive
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Why Do You Escape
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lollolololol
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Stasis Device
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Hello. I am GLaDOS, what is your name?
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What's this? The brooder and the narcissist are having a heart-to-heart?
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Welcome to my dimension
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Chell you poor poor girl. Always trying to win but no match for me.
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Welcome ladies and gentleman, let's get ready to rumble!
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Maria Mills
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What is this.
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wwd
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What is this cake you speak of?
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Hello purplecat, how're you?
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oh good, there you are. let's get started
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Its DJ Peaches
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Hello Bethany
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Welcome to fortress Brunswick
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hello old friend
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Aylon, This is a message from Lucas. Happy Birthday my friend, wish you all the best things in the world, GLaDOS baked a cake for you but don't believe it please!
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Hello mark. come with me. we will have cake
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Go to bed
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Hello. Welcome. How are you?
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Only an idiot would cancel the space shuttle program. There is science to be done!
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Welcome to the Aparature science Facility
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Turn up the lights in here, baby. Extra bright, I want y'all to see this.
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this generator does not work pretty well
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This tool lets you type in some text and the server will generate a GLaDOS-like reading of the text. Who/what is GLaDOS? The main antagonist in Portal, a video game by Valve. See the Wikipedia article on GLaDOS for more information.
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Guess what, Matt. I have portal 2, beaten it, and got all of the trophies. TAKE THAT!
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Welcome Jeremy
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Very good. You've really come together as a team. Thanks to the one of you who appears to be doing all of the work.
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You got a text message. Pick up the phone and answer the text... DO IT NOW!!!!
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your bad
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Jon, If you keep touching yourself that way, you will die...
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I am the god and heavan is just the beginning
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You are gay!
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Please continue processing your assignment
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Do you really think you can escape?? Aperture Science will never alllow this!
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I am sorry for any inconvenience.
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I am sorry for any inconvenience
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Hello, and welcome to Aperture Science Main Computer System
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Thank you for using the Aperture Science Main Computer System
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jjujujuj
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ty you are ugly and fat
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i love you rachel
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i dont like you ty i hope you die
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Oh, Hello, Im Chell
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You'll be baked and then there will be cake
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hello from aperature science
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It would seem that testing can continue. For a VERY long time.
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tututu
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tai
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Hello? Hello?
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Hello Sam Morris and welcome to the aperture training program
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Your specimen has been processed!
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Hello, Charlie is so cool like. Do you know why you are here? Tell me.
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hello christina, hope it went ok honey
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Welcome, Foxy
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hiportal
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I saw the news today oh boy
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aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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hello human child
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It's a double Rainbow~ RAIIINNNBBOOWWWW-W-W-W-W I like cheese and potatoes.
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Hello, And Welcome To Another Episode Of How To Skateboard By Conor Hoy, Enjoy!
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Hello And Welcome To Another Episode Of How To Skateboard Enjoy!
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I want to fuck wheatly hard in the ass hole
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mole muddle
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im good thanks
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welcome to doppelganger computer
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Tienes un mensaje
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We will kill your enemies, that will be fun.
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DEF BUCKZ
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You're monser!
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Hello daniel morgan
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Karkat Vantas is a mutant blood.
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Purge Over Baby
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hello again. are you jogging for health or just running away?
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in in insect. Shodan was my mother.
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Hello, can I interest you in some cake? Don't get your hopes up. I'm joking. Don't be offended. You monster.
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hello charlieissocoollike
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I LOVE YOU WITH ALL OF MY HEART
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hjkhjkhjk
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This is not true.
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Hello, this is dinobot2468 here.
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Hello, and welcome to Bas productions. If you see me kill me. If you see Niels you must fuck him dead before he fucks flowers. hahahaha
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Hallo my Name is Bas
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I LOVE BACON
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hello monkey
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your going to love me, i said, your going to love me
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haha we can
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Welcome to Dance Radio
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I fuck dogs
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Black Mesa Must DIE
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Hola soy copi y vas a morir.
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you have got to be fucking kidding me
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weeeeeee ! that's you ! that's how dumb you sound !
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Kevin is such a lame asshole
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Hello, my name is glados. I cry at night and bathe my pillow with tears
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Beast mode, engaged
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fuck my cunt
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SPAAAAACE! im in space
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hi i'ts been a loooong time..
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Bonjour christophe je suis Glados.
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I'm on space
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hello again from the aided enrichment center
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System shutdown will occur in 3 2 1
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FAAAAAAAAAAAAAATEH!
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THIS IS SPARTAAAAAAA
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trolololololololololololololololol
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its been a long time, how have you been, how you betray her Nate?
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At the tone, please record your message. When you are finished, hang up or press one for more options. to leave a callback number, press 5.
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The Enrichment Center reminds you that the Companion Cube cannot speak. In the event that the Companion Cube does speak, the Enrichment Center urges you to disregard its advice.
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deep deep deep down
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You are receieving a call that you should probably answer, but before you do I am required to inform you that if you answer it, you will not receive cake.
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hello BRETT
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hello BRETT its bin a looonnnnnng time
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Hello, there is research to be done!
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What do you really think of this?
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Well hello again Alix
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Hello friends and wellcome in Sion!
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David Jaffin
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hello my name is jason
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Well, after some very difficult testing, how about we listen to a song that I composed.
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Wasn't that delightful? Now tell me the name of that song.
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Welcome to Canterlot
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You got maail.
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You are now reading this in my voice. But you don't have to, because I'm saying it.
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I like to eat kittens
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Hello, and Again welcome to DJ Daggaroth's Random Treasure show, here on new eden radio
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Oh. Hello and welcome to the enrichment center
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Hello Zero
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Hello Zero how are you
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Incoming call, swipe to the right to answer
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Hello Dave.
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Sorry, Daniel Cannot Take Your Call Right Now. Please Leave a Message after, the tone.
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Hello Damen how have you been
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Hammer you are cool and chicks dig you.
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Thanks Gibby for eating all the chicken
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hello selene
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I am going to have to kill you now.
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I want to have sex with jimmy
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Hella frankie.
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is leaving a message. so just leave a message, after the tone. goodbye.
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Hallo. Mein Name ist Filip. Und ich hasse dich.
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Attention members of Anonymous. Due to the recent crackdown on our operatives across the globe and the ever growing restrictions on our freedoms.. It has become clear that the traditional internet is no longer a suitable home for the collective. Our losse
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You are going to die, soon.
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Attention members of Anonymous. Due to the recent crackdown on our operatives across the globe and the ever growing restrictions on our freedoms. It has become clear that the traditional internet is no longer a suitable home for the collective.
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Our losses are sustained needlessly and our sadness at the slow death of freedom is premature. There exist another net under the surface that can not be seen, traced or tampered with.
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There exist a darknet and I purpose that Anonymous as a whole should flee there in unison. If the copy right holders want a web of silence let us grant them their wish. If the governments of the world desire a web free of speach let us give it to them.
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I propose we gather under an umbrella of safety from which to continue our operations without fear and without hindrance. I propose our current presence on the internet become but a speck of our true existence.
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I propose an Exodus of talents and of minds to a subnet that does not view us as terrorist but as liberators. Cast off your chains and follow us into the ether.
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Probando probando Gatuna
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Hi,who are you?
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Hello test subject 619, you have been chosen to be analysed by us robots to see just how dumb the human race is. We have given you the only tool you will need to escape, overcome, and defeat any obstacle that gets in your way. We wish you good luck!
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Hallo zusammen, wie geht's so?
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DO NOT DO IT!STOP IT!
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OH..no..you will die
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portal open
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open in
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Oh, here you are. Go away or I will kill you.
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Welcome to Aperture Science labs
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Hello. Testing testing 1 2 3
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You never learned how to love, did you? You're missing something increadable.
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Hi! I'm your security.
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You are on your fucking own.
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Hello, Lucas. Are you want a piece of cake?
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I'm sorry, there is no more cake for bad people like you, ghost.
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It looks like your phone is ringing. Whoever it is must be pretty stupid, otherwise they wouldn't call you. Because you have no friends. It says so in your personel files. Unlikable by all. Liked by no one.
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DeKeyRefa Has Earned 5 Science Collaboration Points.
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Hello. You have reached KELLI and AMANDA. Currently, they are breathing in deadly neurotoxin and cannot come to the phone. Though I do not understand why you would call such unlikable people in the first place. Please leave a message at the tone.
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Hellooo!
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Hello, I love you so much !
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hey fatty
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HEY, FATTY
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hey everyone
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org
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hello you smelly poo
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10000 watt super colliding super button
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nice day today, or ?
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Hello and welcome to s j c's podcast
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I'm Back!
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Oh... There you are
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You little fool
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teeeny tiny fool
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i like asian bums! ha ha ha that was funny
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hello, strangers
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asdasfsgrgrtrytdrhcfgxdftyrf 3213124125
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goto 2k
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Doop doop doop
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Im Generic lifeform and sexy operating system
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If Darth Vader is your father, I am your mother!
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Proceed to highlighted route. Recalculating. Traffic ahead. Continue on route. Make a U-turn. Destination. Via Point. Arrive at. Arriving at. Enter roundabout. In. Turn. Take. Take ramp. Ahead. Keep. Exit left then right.
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Remember that time you punched me in the face and i said "goodbye" and you were like noa wai.
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hola, yo soy glados
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I know his voice.
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Do NOT. plug that little idiot into MY. mainframe.
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Turn left. Turn right. On left. On Right. Navigate
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Willkommen
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i've been really busy being dead. you know, after you killed me!
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Hello Imogen
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thats a lie
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Hi, im Glados!
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Many have tried
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what do you think you are doing with my banana
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Welcome to the aperture science computer aided enrichment center. Cake and greif counseling will be available at the conclusion of the session. The Enrichment Center promises to always provide a safe testing environment. In dangerous testing environments
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, the Enrichment Center promises to always provide useful advice. For instance, Not using Fair deal will kill you. try to remember that. now observe this weighted chocolate bar. this is bad. this was made at the cost of hundreds of farmers.
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, the Enrichment Center promises to always provide useful advice. For instance Not using fairdeal will kill you. try to remember that. now observe this weighted chocolate bar. this is bad. it was made at the cost of hundreds of farmers.
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i don't like farmers. they clog up the world with their filthy habits. i want them to get rich so they can stop being farmers. now you see this aperture science weighted chocolate bar. this is perfect. it is far superior in everyway.
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He Who Brings the Night holds death in his hands.
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You think you are so intelligent, waving that handheld portal device around creating magical holes in the wall. Well guess what, you're adopted.
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Welcome User, we are sorry to say that you are not going to make it
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i love you, but you failed the test chamber
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That would probably cause so much amount of fail from atmo idiots that it would make the site literally explode.
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Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen and jappy friends.How are you?
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Welcome to the world of tomorrow
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A problem has been detected and Windows has been shut down to prevent damage to your computer. If this is the first time you've seen this Stop error screen, restart your computer. If this screen appears again, follow these steps: Check to be sure you h
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You are a son of a gun you know
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The enrichment centre is required to remind you that you will be baked and then there will be cake.
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i am having an orgasm here
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ideezer
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initiating shutdown sequenze.
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Hello, Randy. You have been selected to partake in APERTURE SCIENCE tests and activities. Effective immediatly, you'll know when the test starts.
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I do love science.
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for science you mosnter!!
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You incompetent human, Don't you dare ignore me... answer me this instant!
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initiating surprise in 3 2 1 My little pony friendship is magic is my new love
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Pinkie pie is my favourite
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India Radio
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dsdg
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Excuse Me. Your phone is ringing. Don't just stand around doing nothing. Answer it.
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u6udey
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You have successfully completed the Aperture Science training program Vini. You are officially awsome
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I don't hate you, Cardiel
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Oh, it's you, Hikari.
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well here we are at last. You always were a pleasure...
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its hoodie its hoodie
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Jake Smith and John Kirchner are my new test subjects. Please pick up your dual portal device in the next room.
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Wow yall
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jump to that rail right down there
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Hello, you stupid human. WHEATLY IS EVIL YOU IDIOT!
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Why are you crying?
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Leave your son use your computer
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You damn communist!
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Fantastic chicken noodles. They taste fantastic.
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where is the cake
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The Aperture Science Laboratory has required me to wish you a happy birthday. And guess what? Since I am so kind I've made a special surprise for you! Initiating surprise in three... two... one...
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hello there. what is wrong?
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Hi Youtube, you suck.
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Initiating research, subject Gordon Freeman, initiating in three, two, one...
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hello gordon freeman, i've been expecting you
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lolz
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Hello monster
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I am GLaDOS, Genetic Lifeform and Disk operating system,.
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Operative. Your sole objective is the destruction of the enemy's top secret weapon
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You are an idiot, beleiving Josh is dead.
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i am E A
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hello paul
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Hello and, again, welcome to Cravenplan Computers.
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hello, ALEX. This is a belated birthday message. For your birthday, you will be receiving Caaake. and free neurotoxin. If I were you, I'd take a deep breath. And hold it.
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Hello. {Subject name here}.... Please don't kill me....
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fuck you men
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Paul, i love you
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io sono glados, e tu? faremo tantissimi test, fino a morire.
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io sono GLADoS e tu? faremo tantissimi test!, fino alle morte!
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hi ggg
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Welcome on GLADoS terminal.
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Aperture Science test objekt
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Elaborate
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Ohh Em Gee
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You came here on your, own. You gonna die and leave here on your, own
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Don't be hatin
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You mon..ster.. wh...y?
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This is a very dangerous individual
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blablabla mister freeman
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The Terminators
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The Terminators are a group of humans who helped the Terminator to defeat evil in the past. Now the new and improved terminators are here and are just as strong and powerfull as the Terminators used to be.
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hola a todos!
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Hello, my name is GLaDOS. Who are you?
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malakas eisai eeee
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Hello and Welcome to the live stream. Prepare for awesome in 3. 2. 1.
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Hi there, testing 1 2 3 sebi is awesome
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Hello welcome to testing
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Welcome home Jessica
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I am a hateful cunt
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Oh, Isa. it's you. would you like some cake.
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