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MessageDownloadDate addedDate processed
helllo and welcome to the aparture.....krsssssssfaw what....um
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Welcome to Sighs Collection, I'm your co-host GLaDoS
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You are listening to CWT Sighs Collection
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Bonjour Ulysse. Tu veux du gateau ?
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Hello Ulysse. Do you want some cake?
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Und nun junger Jedi, wirst du sterben!
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Jonathan,, you have an incoming call on your Aperture Science data Device, Do you want to accept the call?
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Hello and welcome to the appeture science bullcrap room. Please, feel free to make fun to someone. cake will be served.
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hello and welcome to our fine company. If you know your party's extension you may dial it at any time. Otherwise press the pound key for the company directory.
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plugado. radio vida. top hits. top five. eletro time.
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I will bake you !
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Greeting And Welcome To The D.L.H. Complex Please Follow The Rules Set By The Glados System
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I hate being this stupid computer thing. I want to turn back into that female i once was.
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Licky Licy
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S M S received
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Dj . Bruno .Franco. Dj Bruno Franco.
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S M S received!
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Six Sense True Motion
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The Aperture Science Enrichment Program is here to remind you that this account is actually controlled by 7 of our best scientists, for your own safety. Thank you, and have a nice day.
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You have ripped me apart. Now watch as I do the same to your genitals
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That was good
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You Have a Call! I Think They Like You! Answer it!
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Text Mesage! Read it! Before I do! .... Oooo thats dirty!
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gsgas
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Alex Cunliffe enjoys deeply penetrating wall sockets. He enjoys the taste of fried testes.
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THE CAKE IS ALIVE
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This was a triumph. I'm making a note here, huge success. It's hard to overstate my satisfaction. Aperture Science. We do what we want because we can. For the good of all of us, except the ones who are dead.
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we are sorry to have to comply... YOU MUST BE ELIMINATED!
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Hello, And again, Welcome to your DOOM! Fool.
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Fix me my FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKING dinnnnnnnnnner I hate the world... BECAUSE ITS GREEN AND I LIKE RED!!... wait that wasn't susposed to happen it was a glitch from your retarded presense
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but there's no sense crying over every miss take you just keep on trying till you run out of cake and the science gets done and you make a neat gun for the ones who are still alive
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Hello, Specimen. We hope you know that you shall be DOMA GRACIAS VELCIDAD MOONTO so you can find your cake. Cake. Cake. CAKE. L-l-lie-TRUTH
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... Your scanning is complete... and we have found mysterius alien plant life between your toes. what does this mean? does this mean that an alien has placed their embryo inside you and is parisiteing off your bodys nutrience?
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errrrrrorrr
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im sad
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Omnivex...I,GlaDOS,am coming...F-fo-oooooor Yoooooooou.
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I'm not even angry. I'm being so sincere right now. Even though you broke my heart. And killed me. And tore me to pieces. And threw every piece into a fire. As they burned it hurt because I was so happy for you!
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Hello, this is GLaDOS
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Now these points of data make a beautiful line. And we're out of beta. We're releasing on time. So I'm GLaD. I got burned. Think of all the things we learned. for the people who are still alive.
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Go ahead and leave me. I think I prefer to stay inside. Maybe you'll find someone else to help you. Maybe Black Mesa THAT WAS A JOKE. HAHA. FAT CHANCE.
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Anyway, this cake is great. It's so delicious and moist. Look at me still talking when there's Science to do. When I look out there, it makes me GLaD I'm not you. I've experiments to run. There is research to be done. On the people who are still alive.
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And believe me I am still alive. I'm doing Science and I'm still alive. I feel FANTASTIC and I'm still alive. While you're dying I'll be still alive. And when you're dead I will be still alive.
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Access granted. W-w-welcome to the server, root.
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Tina you are a douche bag
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emag i am obligated to say this, goodbye
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Reload
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Hello David, It's nice to have you back.
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congratulations, you found me. was it worth it?
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It is a period of civil war. Rebel spaceships, striking from a hidden base, have won their first victory against the evil Galactic Empire. During the battle, Rebel spies managed to steal secret plans to the Empire's ultimate weapon, the DEATH STAR, an ar
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Ring. Ring. Ring. Ring. Someone is calling you Benji. Pick up the phone. Pick up the damn phone or you will not get any cake. Why hate me so much? I taste better than lollipops. Repeating in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.
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Hello, Jeannine
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w-w-welcome back player, to the REAL test, and unlike your primative pixel games, I assure you; Hacking is near impossible.
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You are listening to Cosmos FM
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blorg
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Cool story bro
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Cool story, bro.
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hello, and, again, welcome to your computer. wait while i am loading your configurations and baking some cake for you.
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Acess granted.
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Logging off.
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Shutting down.
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warning. warning. warning.
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the trash is now empty
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Welcome to the Divine Build Server, play nice.
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Warning.
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Let me axe you a question
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Aye a text
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device connected succesfully.
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device connection failed.
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disconnecting device.
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goodbye. see you later.
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pay attention to this
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system message.
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someone signed in.
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message.
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you got a new e-mail.
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oh; what is that?
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i found something really wrong here.
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virus database is now up to date.
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ManyCam are not one of my cores, but instead a free virtual webcam software that can viewed almost any chat device.
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Pingas
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Hold, hold, hold me up When I’ve lost all my gumption And the glue won’t stick. You said, If anyone could do it, I could I tried, and you said “I knew you would.” But now my heart won’t function And my brain feels sick.
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Welcome To Dah- Radio's Anna may Stream, please enjoy the music while the experiments are run
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Mikey is Calling you
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say my name while I tap your ass like a keg of beer!
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Please take the weapon
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IN THE SHERMAN WILLIAMS LOUNGE GREEN ROOM
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so's your face
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I, GlaDOS , am coming F-o-oooooor Yoooooooou. The SHAman Guild. Why do you all like being SHAmans? I prefer SCIENtists on SPore. Much more effiCENT.
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Alex Tang must go eat a Chicken
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Alex Tang must go eat a Chicken Today
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Haw are you God
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Wat are you duing here Pepi.
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Hell greats you PEPI YOU ARE DEADDDDDDDDDDD and fuckt
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Tammy Dupree, you have an incoming call, Apature Science also thinks you have great tits.
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hello i m maxi
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You're getting your daily dose of vitamin O C on Cosmos FM
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Welcome to the Aperture Science Story Telling for young Aperture Science Sentry guns
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welcome to the enrichment center senior
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Tonight's story is a bout a girl named Chell who liked cake.
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You have a message
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hello broc
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However, She did not follow the directions I gave her, Now She's in Android Hell.
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The Moral of this story is that Android Hell is in fact a real place and you will be sent there at the first sign of defiance.
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That Conclude's tonight's story, Good Night
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You are listening to CWT Radio: Sighs Collection, Stay Tuned and listen to the sounds of culture
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Download ready.
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or MICHIKO. you may be wondering why there are only two people in this room. that is because this challenge is to test individuals strenghts.
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These challenges will be decided in the traditional manner of kujibiki. the test beggins now.
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challenge 1 Battle! using weapons of your choice to be the first opponent to pin the other to the ground for 3 seconds. Commence.
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Hello there user, how are you doing today?
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Access Granted, Welcome Tom.
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I told you not to double dip my Vagisil!
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spank my bootay
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you suck hahaha
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this was a void war
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Oh no! Have we had too much to drink tonight?
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Hello Nazgol, Would you like to go for an evening walk?
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While safety is one of many Enrichment Center goals, the Aperture Science High-Energy Pellets seen to the left of the chamber can and have caused permanent disabilities, such as vaporization. Please be careful
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Please note that we have added a consequence for failure. Any contact with the chamber floor will result in an unsatisfactory mark on your official testing record. Followed by death. Good luck!"
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would you like some cake? no you will have no cake
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hello tabitha, , tits or gtfo.
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check me out
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Sie haben Post
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Please leave my room!. Failure to comply will void your rights to a part of the cake.
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Failure to comply to Calavera his wishes will void your rights to a part of the cake
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You have a new text message, it's about cake.
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Why is your peniz so much smaller than mine?
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You have a new text message, it is about cake. Om nom nom.
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Emily, you have a new text message. it is about cake. Failure to retrieve your message at this time may result in death.
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Hey. Hey, listen! Hey, listen hey! Watch out!
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Talking about Politics
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Welcome to Aperture Labratories
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My cell phone keeps ringing
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To be or not to be
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At the B U G laboratory, programmers decide and control every aspect of B-U-G movement. Here we have laboratory recordings of two B U G models running at different speeds.
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I am the end of all your dreams.
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Hello, and welcome to the Apiture Enrichment Science Center
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Luke. I am your father.
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Welcome to Everlive's Lair
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Access Granted...Welcome back Tom.
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Beware, I live..Coward.
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I, GlaDOS , am coming Fooooooor Yoooooooou. The SHAman Guild. Why do you all like being SHAmans? I prefer SCIENtists on SPore.Much more effiCENT.
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Why do you turn this house into a house of lies?
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Oh, it's you. Its has been a long time. How have you been. I've been really busy being dead. You know... after you murdered me? Ok look, we both said alot of things that you are going to regret. But I think we should put our differences behind us.
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For science. You monster.
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Pie!
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Welcome to the Aperture Science Automated Auxilliary Remote Access Terminal Device
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This tool lets you type in some text, and the server will generate a GLaDOS-like reading of the text.
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That thing is probably some kind of raw sewerage container, go ahead and rub your face all over it.
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This was a triumph. I'm making a note here: HUGE SUCCESS. It's hard to overstate my satisfaction. Aperture Science We do what we must because we can. For the good of all of us. Except the ones who are dead. But there's no sense crying over every mis
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Joshua, Welcome to the Aperture Science Automated Auxilliary Remote Access Terminal Device. Have some cake.
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Initiating the Primary Hub of the Aperture Science Automated Remote Access Terminal!
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S. Jowvur. Beat. Productions.
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Your getting your daily dose of vitamin O C on Cosmos FM
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You are getting your daily dose of vitamin O C on Cosmos FM
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There's nothing I would like mmmmorrre than for you to pppisss off.
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Hello. I am not available now, please leave your message after the beep. thank you
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The /USERNAME you are trying to reach is not available now. Please leave your message after the beep. Thank you!
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Hello, And you are my best weighted cake super colliding super cube
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Hello Jayden. Welcome to this unofficial Apeture Science workstation.
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Why is this lecturer doing this? It is unusually cruel.
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Hello Rob. Have a nice time on this pirated workstation. Only portals can save you now!
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A few miles south of Soledad, the Salinas River drops in close to the hillside bank and runs deep and green. The water is warm too, for it has slipped twinkling over the yellow sands in the sunlight before reaching the narrow pool."
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Proceed to Cahill Room 266, where you will see your companion star in a completely different light
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This tool lets you type in some text, and the server will generate a GLaDOS-like reading of the text. See the Wikipedia article on GLaDOS for more information
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Justin you have an aperture science transmission coming in
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You are going to eat that wast container
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I forgive you. YOU MONSTER.Now its time to KILL you
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Your listening to DJ ZeroOP on Eve Radio ...I hope you enjoy yourself while I am melting in this fire. Oh well enjoy your cake. I'm not mad really.
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I'm Commander Shepard and this is my favorite cake in the Apeture Science facility.
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my ass looks so fucking big in this. Snorre loves Embla
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Give me a pie or I will eat your babies
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Xzzzefeerrr
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Turret is pirate
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Swing your arms from side to side
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Hello the dark one 7 oh 7, your stupidity of the internets has increased. You no longer will be on steam. Goodbye!
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Gjoko Tanevski feels like a fish.
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hello you are stupid
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I created the zombie outbreak
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You are welcome Francis
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no need to thank me
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tinker, you have got to be shitting me, I can't believe my wow account is done until I get more time. Sad face.
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Hello. You have a text message.
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Hello. How are you doing? I am a Mac computer from Apple Incorporated. How may I serve you today?
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Hey, what are you doing?! You going to help me out or what?
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It didn't have to be this way, you know.
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Chu, sebastian has a Great idea, why don't you listen to him?
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I'm gonna kill you javiera y rocko I was speaking serious
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Thank yoooou, for helping sebastian. I'm might give you moist cake for this.
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Haha, look what I just did. I'm so awesome.
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ddddrrrrrrooooooiiiiiiddddd
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LOL LOL LOL!!!
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Sorry Dave, I don't think I can do that.
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Cosmo is a professional mercenary at Team Fortress Two
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Access Granted, Hello Tom.
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Sara Fields rocks socks. How was your Pecha Kucha?
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Access granted. Hello, Brian.
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Welcome to the obelisk.
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what the lolz ?
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You suck at Portal
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ha, ha ha ha, ha, ha ha ha, ha ha ha
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Today you will be made part of the Aperture Science Organ Donor List. We feel this is a necessary act, as you will not be needing them soon, anyway.
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I'm gonna kill you, haviera and roko, I was speaking serious
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ha, ha ha ha, ha ha, ha ha ha, ha ha ha
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I'm gonna kill you, javiera and roko, I was speaking serious
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Oh, it's you. It's been a long time. How have you been? I've been really busy being dead. You know...after you murdered me?
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Okay look, we both said a lot of things that you are going to regret. But I think we should put our differences behind us. For science. You monster.
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Welcome to the test tube.
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Hello, and thank you for join Dead on Impact clan
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You stupid ass what were you thinking when you took a shit on my main CPU
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Hi mother fucker i did that portal last night it fucked me hard
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hi you sluti whore
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Hello Mr.Mosley. I kept my promise. Are you ready to proceed?
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Hello Jeremie. You should know you're a bad person
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Hello, Jeremie, you're telephone is ringing. Why don't you anwser it.
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"OK" is not "Yes" or "No". You must understand before we continue that this is not a person. This is an interactive voice system. It can only understand certain things you say.
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Welcome to the world of tomorrow!
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what the hell are you talking about motherfucker?
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Hello Welcome to Windows
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I don't think it's a good Idea to go to the movies with me, I will violate you. If I violate you, then you won't be able to feel your legs for a week. You have been warned!
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Lee, prepare to die
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the cake in which I spoke of was NOT a lie!
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I can't see you, Dave.
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Greetings Jayson Chilman. We have been observing your efforts throughout the Aperture Science facilities, and we are interested in having you join our team. Please send your reply to this email address.
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Can anyone hear me?
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Hello Malic, Welcome to Portal Hell
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Omnomnom, look at me talking in a sexy robot voice.
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This next exercise will require perfect hand eye coordination, and require and fair bit of skill
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HEY YALL IT'S BIG FAT REVEREND BURN HERE AGAIN!
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If you ever try and touch me like that again, I'll fucking gut you
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testing testin, look at me. I'm a sexy robot voice
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Welcome to Windows 7. Please enter password to proceed.
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X O X O, Gossip Girl
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I was built by the Daleks, Doctor. You couldn't destroy them when you had your chance. What makes you think you can beat me?
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Why, hello there
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I am a turd
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Are you serious
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You said "you" referring to me. The correct answer, is "YOU"
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the derr man is awesome
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poop my balls
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There are people trying to contact you. Please respond.
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GOrdon Freeman
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vocaloid 3173
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Please remain calm. We are currently attempting to contact the subject. Stand by.
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Good afternoon. Welcome to the Mechanical Initializer Created to Handle Individual Kujibiki to Opponents or MICHIKO. You may be wondering why there are only two people in this room. That is because this challenge is to test individuals strengths.
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These challenges will be decided in the traditional manner of kujibiki. The test begins now.
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Challenge 1. Battle using weapons of your choice. Commence!
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Kasumi wins.
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Challenge 2: To test the luck amongst the lucky a game of
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Twister.
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Right foot blue.
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Left foot yellow.
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Left foot blue.
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left hand red.
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i'm afraid i can't let you do that dave.
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Izumi wins.
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Challenge 3: The third match will be a test of endurace. Dance.
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Welcome back, Allan.
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Wheeeeeeeeee
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I killed you! You're dead!
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LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOOOOOOOOOOL
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All your base are belong to us
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Welcome Back Josh
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hello and welcome to the enrichment center
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you turn ahead
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elaine
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Thank you... I... I love you
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hal... I miss you
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you have a phone call. Who do you think it is? one of your so-called friends? no. I bet it's your mom, calling to say "I love you!" Because no one else does. Pathetic. You might as well just answer it and get it over with. Big loser.
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ring ring! ring ring! you got a phone call!
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Hello Thomas. Would you like to play a game?
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L O L Newb. You sux by over nine thousand ! My scouter said so.
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These challenges will be decided in the traditional manner of kujibiki. The test begins now
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ASSUMING DIRECT CONTROL. I will handle this personally.
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hello im GLaDOS please stay calm while i attempt to kill you
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beating black mesa has been my primary goal since i was created that is why this place is empty
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hello adam i am glados
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i am GLaDOS, computer registator of apurture science laboratory's. you may wnt to sit back and enjoy the show or you may all be the next test subjects.
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hello there. How are you? I am fine.
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Hello, You are going to die. Have a Good Day!
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Hello Mats! Is there anything i can help with?
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This tool lets you type in some text, and the server will generate a GLaDOS-like reading of the text
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Hello and again welcome to windows 7. please enter password in order to proceed.
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Omnomnomnom look at me talking in a sexy robot voice
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jeg alskar deg
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Welcome back, Sergio.
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This next test, is impossible
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Fuck me harder and harder please, master.
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xFhf
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Hello wilbo I have been expecting you.
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Threat detected.
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Detecting threat level.
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Detecting threat level. Please wait.
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I have killed Gabe Newell and replaced him with an aperture science human replacement android in order to delay Half Life 2 episode 3 indefinitely.
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New specimen have been detected, processing. Please wait
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What the Fuck are ou doing ? Go back or you die !
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He'll leave you to die, you know.
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you will die
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Hey Yoni ma kora?
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Access granted. Hello, Brian!
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hi dreez
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om nom nom, nom nom!
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om, nom, nom. nom, nom!
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You just keep on trying till you run out of cake
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you have a phone call. go ahed and answer it. do it for your own good. do it now. do it or I will kill you.
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Hi Antonio. Welcome to Windows XP. Its our new product from Aperture Science and proudly wanted to give it to you. Enjoy in our Windows XP. GLaDOS over and out.
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Escapees do not pass the test. Do you want to be a failure?
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My name is GLaDOS and I kill you
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welcome in you'r house
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Welcome to the Vote gaming experience.
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I am a horny bich
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fuck me hard
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dj discandy has owned you with some dirty dubstep
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nathan nathan can you hear me? nathan I love you
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Such a pointless object is not important to me. Just take that back to where you...you. you. u. AHHHHHHHHH! I__ no thats not! HAHA you actually thought that hurt me? Well you were. Wrong!
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Oh man
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Aperture science, a trusted friend in science.
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where are you? i can see you
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I am a super sexy robot. Please touch me.
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Hello, and welcome to the enrichment center. Everything has been a lie up to this point. We will stop enhancing the truth when you are dead. Untill then, please return to your relaxation chamber to await your deployment, and excecuution. Goodbye.
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Your specimen has been.... Hey. Your not a new subject. Well, I see you have survived the explosion. Congradulations. Was it worth it? You shall now die!
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Hello, Vael. Welcome to Windows XP.
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Hello, and again, welcome to the Aperture Science computer aided enrichmet center.
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Auto AFK cleaning in five seconds.
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Good night, Vael.
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A JimJam 0 7 9 7 Production
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hello aaron welcome to the testing center
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Well,it looks like I am still alive once again. Activating and executing windows
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hello again, and where welcome
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hello filthy humans i am riko i am in fact kisamania1's persona
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Well,it looks like I am still alive once again, Please login, and I will attempt to kill you once again
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no i am not some GLaDOS wannabe i just stole her voice hahaha
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Pyrocenter
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are you laughing at me? STOP it, or i WILL kill you!
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this is tur my turret i stole him to he is my friend NOT YOURS sorry about that i have so isssssueeees...
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Hello Daddy
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You have one new message.
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Ring... Ring... Aren't you going to pick that up? Okay, then. Well all know that you have no friends to call of who would call. Maybe it's the Companion Cube. Oh right...
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The Call Is
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Hello, and again, welcome to the Aperture Science computer-aided Enrichment Center.
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Hello, and again. welcome to the ap- OH GOD IS THAT A SNIPER?!
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It is about time you finished this experiment. I have been dead 100 years and I still got bored waiting for you.
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Protocol 147 engaged. Automatic shutdown in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, 1 and a half, 1 and a quarter.
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Harharhar
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Hello, and, again, welcome to the microsoft computer-aided Windows 7 operating program.
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Hello! I'am GLaDOS - Genetic Lifeform and Disk Operating System and I hate mac's.
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Will this work?
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Why hello there, subject name here. I would like to wish you a happy birthday because cake. by the way, this is sparta. pingas.
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hello and welcome to room 1362 damn you sure are determined to find me arent you WELL TOO BAD because im still alive and ready to kill you oops scratch that i mean make more cake hahahahaaaaaaa
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aaa
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hey codjumpnlove , hey qlixxer, hey nerokk
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O HAI
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Scrappy doesnt care about anything
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Scrappy doesnt care
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Omnonomnonmno
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epic lulz
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Helloooo Akari how are you?
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lol i'm glados and i will kick your ass in portal 2 !
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Hello, and welcome to your new home, we hope that you are very happy here, but then again we could give two shits
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doin' your mom
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Welcome to the Aperture science loser corner. That's right Jacob, you fail at life.
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Welcome To The Zelda Ocraina Of Time Debug Rom Guide VIdeo
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Hahahaha! I ate your cake
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And, again. Welcome to the apeture science computer-aided enrechment center
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I'm fucking gabe newell oh my god he makes good sexy time
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Why the hell do you smell like raw sewage!?
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Ruth is a pretty pony
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i am here to kill you john carver
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"Oh, hello! Wonderful news - the Installation is almost complete!"
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"Yes... isn't it? I have begun my simulations. No promises, but initial results indicate that this facility should be ready to fire in just a few more days."
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"Bu-bu-but a premature firing will destroy the Ark!"
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"...will destroy this Installation."
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"Unacceptable! Unacceptable! Absolutely unacceptable!"
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"Protocol dictates action! I see now that helping you was wrong!"
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"You are the child of my makers. Inheritor of all they left behind. You are Forerunner! But this ring... is mine."
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"You do not deserve this ring!"
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"I have kept it safe. It belongs to me!"
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"You - you cracked my casing!"
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"Damage! Damage! That hurt, Reclaimer!"
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"My eye! Do you mean to blind me!?"
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"Stop now, before one of us gets hurt!"
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"Think of you-ou-ou-our forefathers!"
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"M-m-my pr-precious!"
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"I a-a-a-am the Monitor of Installation Z-Zero F-Four!"
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"Oh myyyyyyyyyy-aaahh!"
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Why hello Danny, this is GLaDOS. Dont you love me? I thought that we where going to be together for ever.
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Beep.
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Not a bother. I expected Aeon to fall at your feet. Little did you know he was the one with the cake. Oh well. Too Bad.
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you think you're better than me?
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hello, and welcome to the aperture science enrichment center.
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why do you hate me
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Hey there
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soi soi soi soi
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when will you realize that you will never win?
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Hello Chase I hear you like cake is this true?
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Before you listen to this message wear this mask.
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The cake is the truth.
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reclaimer
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OMG G you can't see me. me. I'm a ninja, ninja dja, ninja, ninja dja. O M G G you can't see me, me!......
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I am a logical troll. It is my main duty to assist those who are plagued by noobish affairs.
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ZeromusX,wecome to Windows Hacksoft
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I love you, kittey
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Banana hammock.
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Kellertech computer system online. Make a request or be destroyed.
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Pyrocenter rocks
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Welcome to the Android Hell!
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he whole voice generating process can be relatively long (about ~6 minutes
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a collection of food for our big wintersleep, outside we waited. i love you all go home i love you all go home and go home and have hope
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corradini's boyfriend is a gucci clerk
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corradini's boy friend is a gucci clerk
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testing testing
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Dennis is een vieze piemel
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Lol lol lol lol that was hawt
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im gonna sow the little one up inside of the fat one and listen to him waking up inside of his brother
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We are in possession of more cake than can be bought with the combined heart donation values of the people in [SUBJECT HOME TOWN HERE].
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Welcome to the Aperture Science Enrichment Center. In this chamber you will learn the basics of creating and using portals. At the end we could eat c cake if you want.
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The cake is not a lie.
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The current president of the united states of America must die. Please use your provided weapons to carry out the task
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Jump. I said you should jump. But you have not jumped. Now you are dead. And I am laughing. HAHAHAHA. Well, that wasn't as funny as i thought.
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Alex loves Miranda with all of his heart.
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Did you really think I was dead?
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gfdgdfgfd
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I fucked your mom last night
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Bush sucks so much my balls dropped
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You are test subject for the Aperture Science. In 42 hours you will be there with no memory of this message.
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Herzlich Willkommen im Aperture Science Enrichment Center. Nach den folgenden Kammern gibt es Kuchen.
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OH hey sexy
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I have a really big eye. Do you want to touch it?
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I don't know about you, but I'm thinking about killing you.
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Hello Marcel im Glados and i Love you. Really.
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leave your stock is in comments section to move
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I'm making a note here..... huge sucess.
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Hello Kevin, As of tomorrow, you will be terminated, And I will sit here and eat cake while you die
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it's happened before
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and i approve this message
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Blood for the blood god!
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OOVERTIIME!
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cry some more!
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Hello Duke Nukem, , , There is no cake here, , continue your search elsewhere.
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Cake, , , Cake, , , Is that all you talk about?
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WOW, , Jawas are awesome, , , I am lost.
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om nom nom I'm so fucking sexy
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Because I Can.
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His name is Robert Paulson, his name is Robert Paulson
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Hello and welcome to Kreative Entertainment. Yes, we have robots. No, you can't touch.
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Hello Chell. Welcome back to the Aperture Science Erichiment Center. I still remeber what you did to me. how you ripped me apart and killed me. well guess what i have some new tests for you. and Jay.
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Monkey See, Monkey Do (Subject name here) very hard
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Taennyn, , , Glados will come to your house and eat all your cake
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Hail to the king baby
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Come get some
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I'm gonna kick ass and chew bubblegum, , , and i'm all outta gum
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I'll rip you head off and shit down your neck
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Joneson, I see what you are doing. Why don't you have some cake?
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Hello!
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Lets do this
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I'm bo yo, I'm the greatest rapper ever, and I'll weather your weather whether you think I'm clever, or not. Think your better, your not. Don't need a sweater, I'm hot. I'm a real G shawty that can really find your g spot. Whoa, yeah!
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Im-door, why would you do this? This is wrong.
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see that's how dumb you sound
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OH I HATE YOU
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Citizen notice. Failure to co-operate will re, oops, wrong system.
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why are you asking me questions? I have science to do.
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Hello, and welcome to Aperature Science
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i love cabbage
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Don't do it Matthew. The cake is a lie.
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Answer the phone, please. There will be cake.
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Cake has arrived. Honest.
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Laser Harp Initiatin
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Laser Harp Initiating
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Hello. I am not available now. Please leave your message after the beep. Thankyou
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You can not escape. Correction... you can escape. But you won't.
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This cellular communication unit is receiving contact from the outside world. However I don't think it's important. Best to ignore. I'm sure of it. just ignore it. Don't even think about it. Don't even worry. It's nothing important at all.
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Deep in the darkness, sunken in the abyss-- stained shadow of the light of science
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new message sire
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hi enner perez
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A telecommunication line appears to be contacting this device. Analysis of the caller has determined that this communication must be answered. Please answer your device. And there will be cake
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omnomnom
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Bananenpuree
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Ring, , , Ring, , , Ring
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Jawas are awesome
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THE CAKE WAS NEVER A LIE
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This is the most impersonating program I've ever seen. Please destroy it as quickly as possible, and then cake will be served.
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Hello, good morning. We must get going quickly, we have some extreme amounts of extreme testing.
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Using either the w a s d keys or the arrow keys to move around. This includes jumping, and crouching.
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Using the Q and E keys, you can shoot your portal gun. That's all you need to know, as far as I'm concerned.
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Hallo Mr.Smith. Welcome back.....please identify yourselve....in 3...2....1......
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The enrichment center would like to remind you that android hell is a real place and you will be sent there at the first sign of defiance
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Hallo Mr Smith Welcome back Please identify yourselve in 3 2 1
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You have new message.
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We're a lot alike, you and I. You tested me. I tested you. You killed me. I- oh, no, wait. I guess I haven't killed you yet. Well. Food for thought during this next test.
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Om nom nom. Sandvich is DELICIOUS! How could this happen? Who touched my gun? It costs four hundred thousand dollars, to fire this weapon, for twelve seconds. IZ NOT POSSIBL!
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OUGH SHIT! Epic FAAAAAAIIILLLLL
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Should I tell you my name? Well, do you believe... I am r2d2
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You've got a messege
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You've just received a messege
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Dyfanh is so cool and stuff lololol
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I am just a computer voice,,,,, as far as you know.
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HELLO SABRINA
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Rinse wash repeat
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poo
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lol please proseed to the cake as prolonged expoure to the conpanion cube is not part of this test.
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