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MessageDownloadDate addedDate processed
Rj I'm glad you Could join us today in Jons room thank you for your help with my operation functions
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Happy birthday to you dear George
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Hello Rory
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Hello John welcome to the future!!!
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hello kieran
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go to milkboys for young boys
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Oh good.
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tets
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playstations beautiful xbox is poor your games are ancient, there all abore the games went out the window cause i'm in sony's hands with blu-ray disk, metal gear 4 and resistance fall of man your beautiful, your beautiful your beautiful its true
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you have had the most imponderable joy of watching charlie is so cool like. which makes you like. cool.
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EEEEEEEEEEEEEE
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Hello and Welcome to Tech Gang. I am GladOS and today i will show you how to..
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My calculationays show that your peenus is twenty five billion times the legnth of mine, got dayummmmmm yUSUF
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Greg, I am going to come to test you
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NAy
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Hi natalie my name is glados
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Hello Luca, i will now test you on your basic knowlage of shapes. why? because i can. ha ha ha ha. sorry about that. i am a robot. i can not count numbers. now the test will start. WRONG wrong right. oh sorry i mean wrong! now you will die. bye bye!
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Amy, Ben has to say he loves you, what a fool. If you don't recognize this voice, it's from Portal 2. Ben would like to play Modern Warfare 2, so get online.
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testing is serious business
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Hello luca! you just lost a subscriber. no sorry time to die. ha ha ha ha
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You moron!
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hello mallory, i want to play a game!
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hello scott, i want to play a game
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Do you not understand how to use Tumbler? That is depressing.
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Fatty fatty no parents
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Hi Michi
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woke up from a horrid dream that some psychopath had set me a bunch of puzzles and if I didn't work them out someone would die. Why is Professor Layton stalking me in my dreams?
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Hello, Here is a video about some mods in Portal 2 for the xbox 360, Please subscribe to my channel and comment and like this video, thanks for watching goodbye
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omar
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Hello my name is harold
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Don't run. If you get tired, you won't be able to appreciate your death as your brain starves of oxygen
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hello my name is glados the test is over
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what thw fuck!
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Experience
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welcome to the arpeture science program
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Hello Subject Robbie. You will now be killed
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Hello. Please take a step back, you are not in the way of the laser
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Thank you for calling Jeff Carpenter with Aftersoft Network. For my office line, press 1 or just stay on the line. To be transferred to my Cell, press two, for voice mail, press three
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Na wenn du sie hochheben kannst, bekommst du sie auch von der Tastatur weg!
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With all these humans, we can test forever! Aperture can make a comeback! If this were a video game, it would be the perfect continuity for... "Portal 3"... I think. Maybe I will build a "Purple" and a "Red", to help you two.
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damn mrzombie your so awesome
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I have eaten so much beef jerky than I could poop it out on your chest if I possessed a bung hole.
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Welcome to training program three point zero
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City Fawks is a Furry
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Hello Barney
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This is MaSTerOwL. Let the game begin!
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arse
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you try to kill me
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Where is the damn pizza? I am so hungry.
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Hello, my name is Courtney. I need to eat some bananas.
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Please be advised that a noticeable taste of blood is not part of any test protocol but is an unintended side effect of the Aperture Science Material Emancipation Grid, which may, in semi-rare cases, emancipate dental fillings, crowns, tooth enamel, and t
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Hello, welcome to
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your mum is a gimp
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Hello, Matt. How are you?
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Hello Austin Butler. your testing period is now over. Please escort yourself to the incinerator. Thank you for participating in the Aperture Science simulation.
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Hello Daniel Watson i am GLADOS and i have killed Craig, I just want to let you know that you have just lost the game and you are gay
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Bartosh, fuck your mum.
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i shall meet karen in july
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welwel
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You shouldn't be spending all your time at your computer.
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Furvibe radio by dj crypt
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Hello Aponi, how are you doing this fine day?
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Hello. You have completed the test. Nathan can now die.
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hekllo
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Hello,welcome to killer cards.
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Here is your weapon.
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I wouldnt worry about that you will die soon anyway.
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Hello and welcome. I am your guide through the system. Please do not fear to ask your questions. I am "harmless".
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Crazy Dude Called Sam
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Welcome to the Ranature science enrichment center..
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very good
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hello,welcome to the test
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Hello, my name is matthew crissall and im a biiigggggg bum boy
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Congradulations Jakii, on finishing Portal 2. I guess you feel pretty awesome, well you shouldn't.
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hello how are you wait you should be dead by now
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hello, chester is awesome, dudley and effie smell of poop
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i would like to lick my own nuts
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You are so fucked!
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Hello there. How are you ?
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the way I feel right now is the end of all of you.
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coucou hyro
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What on earth is going on?
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Welcome to Lycosa. Where You Come First.
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Hello, how are you doing today Aaron?
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Hello Adam Nalchajian, I have been waiting for you
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Hello. This message is pre-recorded for you. Yes, you [insert test subject name here]. Noo ne else
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Hello George, you have worken up in the testing area,
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why....am.....i.....in.......sparta?
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Hello and welcome. This message is provided by Giannis. My name is jessica and i am a robot. Thank you for listening and have a nice day. Kiss Kiss
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oh, it's you. . .
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Hello, you just lost the game
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hilfe
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Chimera you are a noob. you couldn't even defeat me on normal. ha ha ha ha noob
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To the user, the interface is the program.
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Hello and thank you for
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Hello Jono
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I love green eggs and ham
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I would like to wish you and your boyfriend a happy 17 months, he told me he loves you, how nice
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Identificate Yourself!
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Whats up homie
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your compaion cube has been murdered. now youve killed your last friend
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I am incredibly awesome
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Oh... It's you...
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no one likes you your a monster. you killed your compainion cube. nice going monster.
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dj king
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hello, and welcome to the aperture science enrichment center. here, you will do numerous types of tests for our portal team. please try not to smell the walls, as they are coated in moon dust, which can kill you.
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Hello Brennan. You are cool
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Hello again Brennan. You have received a text message.
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You have just had the most amazing time watching mysterycloseups vlogs wich makes you well awzo
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Hello and welcome. This message is provided by Giannis,
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Hello and welcome This message is provided by Giannis
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Yove just had the most amazing pleasure of watching a mystery close up video congratulations your now awesome!!
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I love peanut butter sandwiches
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You have just had the most amazing pleasure of watching a mysterycloseup video congratulations you are now awesome!!
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Hey wazzup?
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Chimera you are a noob. that is all ha ha ha ha ha
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Please don't kill me.
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This is how dumb is your sound
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you've just had the almost imponderable joy of watching charlie is so cool like, which makes you like, cool
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Well hello there again. Remember me? No? Well let me refresh that pint sized mind of yours. Matthew...
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hey who are you?
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These aren't the droids you're looking for.
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Welcome to my house of portalness.
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jacob is stupid
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hey there sexy beast
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Ryan hoy is the king of the mentally challenged turrets manufactured here at the enrichment science center
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the cake is a lie but if it was not a lie the cake would taste good
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I love the fact sphere, he only speaks the truth.
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Seriously? You are still here? Take a hint and GET OUT!
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Fallon, the Enrichment Center would like to inform you that you have a text message. You should probably read that. You don't get texted first much...
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i like to lose the game
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Let's have fun. with science
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Richard! I hope you die.
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You've just had the almost imponderable joy of watching charlie is so cool like; wich makes you, like, cool.
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Hello Martin, This is your phone speaking. Someone has messaged you. Please pick up your aperture science enrichment center transmission device, or you will not get any cake! Why won't you answer me? Do you hate me?
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Hello, people
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Amy Roggendorf, How are you?
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Why God Why!?
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way?
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hello libby and welcome to the aperture science testing facility
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Pixel. Rom. Echo. Let's get started.
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The cake is a lie lolz
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May the way of the Hero lead you to the Triforce
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John is gay, John is soo gay
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veronica, you are awesome
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Welcome back, shall we continue testing?
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subscribe to citric pwnage.
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hello, you, you spin me right around baby right around
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Mountain Dew is the probably the best soda ever, GOSH
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bonsoir
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Windows, you'll buy it. evn if you don't want to
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Windows, you'll buy it. even if you don't want to
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Hello, this is cursed bullet, you may be wondering why my voice is like this, it is because im super awesome at copying this voice, suck it losers.
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You are about to be a test subject in aperture science, you will tested on how super terminal aids affects the body, you will be rated from 0 to 1, 0 being dead and 1 being alive.
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Michael Darcy is a pretty cool mother fucker
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hello, welcome to the enrichment center. what is your name?
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Hello, and welcome to the aperture science enrichment centers official portal game portal test
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Enter Minecraft and have some awesome fun with zanginator, darkelfin, glennfiddichh and oasis55
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Hello scan, you are a dumbass
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hellow matthew
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Hello miracle and welcome to this message from your brother who now is. Well i cant tell you that...
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sup nigga
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I wouldn't do that if I were you. It will only make your life even worse. Because I'll kill you. Sorry!
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I want to have sex with you
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Boongies
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Oldporpoise, you should be Moderator. Deploying Mod in 5...4...3...2...1...Mod delpoyed, thank you.
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What is up my home dog.
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Hello, I am GLaDOs. I am here from the future to assist you receiving items of the future.
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Hi, you have reached C.J. Powers he is unable to get to the phone right now, please leave a message and he will get back to you... when he is done testing... or should I say if.
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Neki is a cute cat
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Hello Ashly I am your Lover
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we both said a lot of things you are going to regret
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awesome yeah
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i think we can put our diferences behind us, for science, you monster.
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How about you play hide and go fuck yourself? Nigger.
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Hubner you're a gay cunt
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Nigge
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Holey tits batman
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I love you, Luke.
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Well, hello there
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Do you think you've won?
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angel sucks
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hello angel thank you for almost beating me didint we have fun
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eat me
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danner
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Povernite na levo
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bleaagh
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Welcome ENTER TEST SUBJECTS NAME to the Apeture Science Enrichment Centre.
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I like trains.
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i like cheeseburgers
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Amanda, Gregory just wanted to tell you he loves you. for science
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Hello mate i'm a Built cunt
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you are lame juman
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oh my goodness .
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derka lols weeee
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i like toast
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Aaron, welcome
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Welcome to the Aperture Science Testing site. You may want to stop eating that.
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I Love You Shannon :D
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Hey Taylor. I'm really happy for you, Imma let you finish, but Beyonce had one of the best videos of all time
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You really really love to test
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You have completed all tests. Then i have to make more.
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Oh. Hello. Congratulations, Cam. You have completed the test proper. Now remove the vital apparatus storage cube before it's too late and you explode.
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Hello Kyndall. How Have you been? I've been waiting for you, For a long time.
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Ahahaha... noo
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Hello. Nathan is not here to answer your call. Please leave a message after the beep and Nathan will get back to you as soon as possible. Good-Bye!
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Interesting you tube channel. But really though... Do you have a life outside of anime?
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i always thought you were stupid, but now i really think i have underestimated you.
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Hello, and welcome to the last level of Mount Brennenburg. I congradulate you on making it this far.
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hi12345
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Hello and welcome to Alex Jones's facebook. You're encouraged to check out his photography album. Have a good day
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Hello there Jack. I am here to test you. First you must dance. I said dance. I said dance. Faster.
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Oh, hello. Up late again are we? I wouldn't be awake right now if I were you.
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Hello there Jack. I am here to test you. First you must dance. I said dance. I said dance. Faster. Very good
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Bonjour vous allez mourir
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soi soi soi soi soi soi
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Hello. I will kill you
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If you don't agree with me, bend over and take it like a man!
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oh, hello.
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Oh how we laughed and laughed.
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Welcome to the deathrun dust ugp. Good Luck
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Welcome to the deathrun dust ugp.
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shut up man
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hello there is this the stupid show that i need to go to? please don't call me again justin
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Welcome to Crynet system
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dust
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Welcome to the deathrun dust UGP
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happy birthday to you.
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Ashley is so very crap at portal, testing over
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searching in wikipedia
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searching in facebook
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asking my friend google
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Hello Mattia
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This is a test. To survive.
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Lol. your mother is fat. i like cakes.
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hello this rs rashmika nice to meat you now lets start the game
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Welcome to the aperture science testing facility Robbie. You are so cool I love you. Here is a portal gun. Wheately noooo.
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Wild SNORLAX appeared! I choose you, Bulbasaur!
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welcome to the aperture science wheatly minigame
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hello Melanie
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Welcome to the madhouse. Ha ha.
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Hallo und Herzlich Willkommen bei knowledgebase punkt cc
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welcome to JB's Blog !
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Hello, and Welcome to the Aperture Science Enrichment Centre. You are testing the Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device today.
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well done luca for reaching 80 subscribers
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you are epic
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Welcome to Aperture Science. I like you. I want to be friends
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this generator is not very good is it?
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I will kill you when I'm finished with this cake
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Hello, Mary. Are you excited about flying on Monday? Me too. I'm excited for you. Let's hope it doesn't crash and burn.
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Warning - Error detected in the relaxation vault. - Air contamination detected. Relaxation vault auto-shut down sequence initiated. Waking up subject I.D - 091007. Preparing Emergency Testing Protocol.
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horno is awesome
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Hello test subject name here, you are located at Germany Dresden
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You've had the almost imponderable joy of watching charlie is so cool like. Which makes you. like. cool.
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Hello Marc My name is glados
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Omfg..... why is matt warriner like how he is
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Matt warriner says...... MOOOOOO!
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We here at the Aperture Science Enrichment Center would like to remind you that life is a sexually transmitted disease, and to prevent you from having sex
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Fury901 kick your ass
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Hello, and again welcome to this aperture science reasearch
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fuck justin beiber
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I see you driving round town with the girl I love
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Demon
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hello can i lick your feet
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Zielobjekt gesichtet. Spiele Intro ab.
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once upon a time there was a cow who liked to moo
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Testing is begun
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you've had the pleasure of watching ms makeup goddess 11
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hello, and once again, welcome to the aperture science testing rooms.
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hi i am calvin
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HELOOOOOO
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rabbits
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How have you been? I've had a great time being at school. What would you like to do today?
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This is a triumph. I'm making a note here, huge success.
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How realistic do you think I sound? Does your opinion really matter anyways?
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Hello Mikey, you are so awesome
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ZAR loves you and protect us.ZAR ti ama e ti protegge.
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Welcome again.
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Hi, don't talk me, I am a very bad sad black cat
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Hello Seb. How are you?
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hello,its me mister brainmadness,hope u enjoy my videos
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Hi I'm glades
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Look at me now. I'm a potato.
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Oh you are actuelly alive
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these nuts
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Fuck you, i have seen you while you sleep and i watch you while your awake, you often play with yourself to other humans mating, i am afraid that you must stop this for i have sent 1000000000000000 fucking light bulb laser shit to come kill you :)
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Hello,welcome to aperture.I hope you enjoy your stay here. Head down to the lobby later for cake. Really its true. There arent any turrets down there or something.
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fsdfsdfsdffdsf sdf dsf dsf sf f d dsf d d hjefkfkl kk k knd fkdnknkdg nkdg kndg kndgk gdkl gdkl gdkn gn ndk kd kgd gd kgd kgd kngd
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This was a triumph. Im making a note here, huge success. Its hard to overstate my satisfaction. Aperture science.
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i am apotato
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I enjoy pie Ymmm
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THAT WAS A JOKE HAHA
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Is any one there?
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lalalallaaa
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Hello, I as
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You are so sexy and i just want to suck suck suck your balls
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hello, and once again, welcome to the aperture science testing rooms
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wanker you should kill yourself
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Hello Charlotte. I will flood this living room with a deadly neurotoxin.
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is any body there
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hello ethan. My name is computer
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hello are you there wered you go why did you leave me you are condemed to death
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Goo
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This is Glados, filling in for Charlie who is retarded.
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This is Glados, filling in for Charlie who is too lazy to do anything himself. Just looking at his face wants me to throw up every organ in my body. Charlie, do us all a favour, and go kill yourself.
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Joe has a jew fro
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You have a new text message. Please pick up your phone and you shall receive cake.
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everybody was kung fu fightning
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I like cheese...do you?
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You have lost connection with the internet.
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nerdnacular!!!!
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what do you know about it?
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ah your awake, hello ryan i have been expecting you, you have sucssesfully completed your mission, finaly, now i no longer have a use for you, make your way to the incinarator. thank you for your contribution to you-tube, good bye.
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Hello everyone. Today we are going to show you how to play the song in Kino Der Toten.
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Hello Siena Amber Louise Andrews, you will die now, but not before being baked!
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Good, you've finally awoke from your hypersleep,currently,you've been asleep for 2 point 011 millenia
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Hello people of the Earth I'am Salaxxxxx and today everything is going to change.
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Hello, welcome to Norway.
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hello grayson, i am your master
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no, ther arent. you're just an asshole
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Hello, Daniel. Welcome home. We have expected you. Would you like some cake? Or some neurotoxin?
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I'm a freaky robot alien
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Hello Again grayson. The testing has only just begun.
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Hello Alex the hedgehog its nice to meet you
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Welcome to Aperture science. Welcome to die.
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Hi, my name is Connie and you are an idiot
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Oh joy. Someone is calling you on Skype. Are you going to answer? Please answer. Not answering this call may result in serious injury. Pick up your head set now and accept the call or serious consequences may occur.
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Oh no! You just got smashed by a giant three-legged monkey. Haha! You fail.
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Hello im friend
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Hello im your friend
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Why are you hating, haters?
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Hi!, it's Fryday, please don't do anything stupid.
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you are a loser
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Message from...... Companion cube
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switch frontside tailslide kickflip out
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YOu killed me!
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What are you doing? Put me down, I don't deserve this.
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i think i will kill you after this test, afterall you were neglected when you were a child
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hello egefyr 2 trees, i hate you because you got neglected as a child. You were a pest, and you still are. Go lie in a corner and die for me please
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Hello, cience must go on
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Hola caracola
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Why are you such a wellington?
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Helly welcome to the enrichment center of aperture science
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Hello. Whats up?
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Hello Johnny. Welcome to testing, you monster.
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Anyway this cake is great it's so delicious and moist
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i love you. I'm joking by the way. No one will ever love you.
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I love you. I'm joking by the way. No one will ever love you. You murderer.
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Welcome to the aperature science test facility
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hello my name is Harry
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Hello and welcome to my lap
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Welcome to Aperture Laboratories. I am GLaDOS. Today, I will be your guide.
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oh, look. You've received a text.
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I am glados and i approve Wipeout gaming
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Jarozimz is the best
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for
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Diesel
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Subscribe to jarozimz
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My name is Reece farmer haha I'm only kidding because I am glados
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Auto bots esemble and get me a beer while you at it
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My name is Jacob Kehrer.
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Hello Daniel. We have been waiting for you! Heheheh.
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hey whats up.
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hello its nice to meet you
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Why are you here i dont like you
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The winner of the portal game portal test will be eating delicious cake in front of all your friends before anyone can get one, how lucky are you
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hello jordan
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Hello i want to kill you :D aaalla
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You are weird
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skrew you guys i'm going home
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You smell
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I saw your page on Facebook. It is a lie. You have failed the test and will now be despised by your entire hometown. And your family. Oh wait. They already hated you.
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lloololool
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Incoming. Please check your mail
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you is trollin
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Hello Sean, you moron
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Danno is a sexy beast and he will not have the cake because he is a slut
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cos wiec sie pospiesz ;d do konca czerwca wiele moze sie zdarzyc
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Danno is a sexy beast and will not have any cake because he has sex with steve and black men on the street that fucking manhore
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mine craft
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i love making babies with chuck norris
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dylan please do me,tickle my belly button,from the inside.
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Hello. Brady is not a unicorn.
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lol i am glados lolol soi soi soi i am master cheef
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why hello their
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You suck I hope you die Alan
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Like a Boss
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Hello, My name is Tommy and I'm happy to see you.
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it make a long time. how has you been?
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Oh, great.
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Hello, My name is Tommy. Quiero una mac.
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Tommy
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hello there. You are finally awake.
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let me tell you that neurotoxine can kill you in five seconds. do you wanna try?
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I just walked around the house
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sup my ho you wanna hang out today?
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Hello Henry
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Hello this a test. Boobies.
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Hello jeremy testing will begin now
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I love you, Luke
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Hello neve
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Your doomed
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you're doomed
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What in the world
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tomas puto
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Hello,I am GLaDOS. Your friend has been kidnapped,and locked in a room full of neurotoxin. She's annoying and suddenly I regret doing so. She won't stop talking,acts mental,calls me a pre-potato and made her bird attack me. Do me a favor,take her back.
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Ollie Is cool
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Welcome To Hell. I Joke This Is The Enrichment Center.
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Hello, Perry and welcome to the game.
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I will kick you in the balls
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Leave me alone. I am performing science
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Hello, I am a crazy alien robot lady
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I think that one was about to say 'I love you'
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Hello, Sean Drennen. I have been watching you for a long time. join me in my lab. we must test.
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Oh hello.
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Hi, I am cool. Let's prepare for exams together. There will be cake.
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You like cool
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Hello, Michael. How are you?
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welcome to furnace and chest inovations
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Don't don't, please stop now!
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dustin likes glados
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Hello I will kill you now
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hello and again welcome to the apeture science computer aided inrichment senter
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,Hello, my name is Andy, I was ACTIVATED on June 14, 2023
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Hello Natalie.
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I love bananas
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stephanie is my one and only true love
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Let the tests begin...
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asdff
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Hello boys and girls.
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hey, hoy are you? i'm GlaDOS waht is your name?
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You just got message
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oh my goodness. i think im running out of batteries.
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charlieissocoollike
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Let the tests begin
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Kelty I don't like to be in the same house as the crazies
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she was a lot like you well maybe not quite as heavy
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think of all the things we learned for people who stiil alive
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You are a slut
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hello ryan are you homosexual?
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Charlie is so, Charlie is so, Charlie is so dead.
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Hello Alexis my name is GLaDOS
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good news
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You got a new text
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Welcome back Naomi
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Welcome back, again. I'd say it's nice to see you, but I'd be lying
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dome mori gato, mr. roboto
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Hello, wellllllcome to the....show
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The Vancouver Canucks suck. Hahahahahahahaha!
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Hello, est subject
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Josh I want to kill you
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I do not approve of these sexual causes of actions, nor do I deny the love that I feel for my huge, robotic clitoris.
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hello and welcome to the a
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trolled
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Hello, there you are.
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Let's fuck.
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Youmin I have cake
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hello, Devon. How are you.
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Good evening ladies and gentlmen. It is my pleasure to introduce to you, your host for the evening, David Green!
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Wesley, this is the computer of the Icarus 1. I have a mission for you. Will you accept?
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oh good your awake
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Welcome to the aperture science computer aided fun zone
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hello jon welcome to testing. isnt science fun.
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hello, my name is glados. well.... i think i should just kill you now, because, well, your a bad pirson. but, if you survive you well get cake.
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Hello and Welcome to the home of Alexis and Luna Pheonixheart. We were expecting you.l
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Hello and Welcome to the home of Alexis and Luna Pheonixheart. We were expecting you
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Amy Coughlin. Prepare to die.
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you have reached the voicemail box of joey jiuliani
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dude
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Good night raven
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Goodbye Raven
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BT international and Giorgio Armani have forged a new fragrance. Tong-For him
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There was a cake
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Hello, testing this shit
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Matthew Crossley
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Cocaine is a hell of a drug
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hello comment ca va?
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Hello Niall
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i believe in a thing called love
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Alan Henwood is the coolest
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hello how are you i am fine.
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Hello there. I am GLaDOS. Welcome to the Aperture Science testing facility. Prepare to be tested. It should be a lot of fun. For me, at least.
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hurr hirr
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creamy cream cream
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Well that's just stupid
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aimen aljanabi
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Jake Lucas Nolan is the ultimate pokemon master, not even the elite four or gary oak can stand in his way. Jake Lucas Nolan don't need no rare candy cheat sucker. Player owns the game like boom. Shout out to all my bredrins in pallet town.
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hello, how are you doing today? i would like to be your friend please
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Hey what's wrong with you?
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hi, this is pz speaking
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Ok,you kill me.But you know what?You are going to the cake.And the cake is a lie. chesse
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Fuck you, Barri and
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My name is wicky wicky slim shady
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What the fuck, gordon?
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Hello Doctor glad you could join us
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I am a dalek really. Isn't that interesting?
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Screw you guys, i'm outta here
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Shut the fuck up Henry
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hello and again, i am glados and i hate kevin and ryan because they killed me. i will kill them like they did me.
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hello. i am pregnant
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