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MessageDownloadDate addedDate processed
Miguel, you will die very very soon.
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Your regulation aperture science foil sealed serving of ready to eat noodles will be readt in 3, 2 ,1
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hello my name is Tobias
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Hello, Chris, I am glad you are back for some more testing
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Charlie is so cool like.
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Hello. my name is yaser and i am the best peson ever u got problem.
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D. F. T. B. Ae.
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Heyo
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for science..... you monster
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Hello Oliver
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Hello Conal. You have a massive sausage
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You will be assimilated into the herd. Resistance is futile.
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chyba cie pojebalo
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Greetings, stranger. How is your day going? Well, it's about to get worse.
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Hello, my name is Sooooozeee
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Ah, i see you have woken up Ethan.
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You know, I never really liked you.
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Hey, My Name Is Naethyn, Fatty Fat No Parents
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Hello Sara, welcome to the Aperture Science testing program
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Why hello sailor
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You there. Your phone seems to be emitting a frequency that I cannot compute
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Please do not come here
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Hello Luke Frizzell, you have been selected to participate in the apeture science progran
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Hello there Tedi
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Hello and welcome to the new world
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Hello! I am a wonderful human, I love you and so you will get cake!
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Welcome to Apature Science laboratories.
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Hello Katy. Someone is trying to call you. If I were you, I wouldn't bother answering. It's not like you have friends who actually want to talk to you.
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buhh
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hi this is louis
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Like, comment, and subscribe!
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My congratulations you finaly did this
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Welcome to testing Alyssa Glover my name is GLaDOS we are going to have alot of fun.
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Temi i love you
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Hi, my name is Ian
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Hey, you there, your not the only one here. Mwahahaha!
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Congratulations you have learned how to play Zelda on the piano
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Hello Alyssa and welcome to your first day of testing. My name is GLaDOS, we are going to have alot of...fun
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ou
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And now it's time to die. For you.
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You suck its you, not me, YOU, LEMONS
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thank you for testing
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Welcome to the Aperture Science Enrichment Center. I like double anal penetration.
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Hello, Oliver.
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Cherioo
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youuuu you you you, Yooooooouuuuuu you. Not me you
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Hello, this is a test of the emergency broadcast system.
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hello kitty
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Lucas, you dissapoint me
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oh baby give me one more chance
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I fucked a donkey in the ass, you gusta?
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Hi..And welcome to the Aperture Science Windows 7 Experience
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hello there alex.
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hellol welcome to my home
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Hello Danny Now that your testing is over it's time to kill you.
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Ben, what do you think you're doing?
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G W R Dec
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liam is the coolsest person ever
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Hello, my name is john
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Thank you for calling Insert Subject Name Here. He or she is currently incapacitated but will get back to you as soon as I allow it.
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Bakyte
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Hello, Kayla. Come to kill me again?
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Hello Stefan Rasic your testing will start now.
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be still and know that i am god
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Hello, and welcome to Macka Minecraft Servers I am GLaDOS and i shall be your guide today.
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You are not a human
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be still and know i am god
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live well
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I am pleased to inform you unrestrained, rude, uppity individuals of both sexes (because sexual discrimination is not relevant here) that Aparture science laboratories need people for testing. Go ahead and join us
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I like to fuck dogs
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ellelator go down de hole
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welcome to doddleman90 youtube video please rate,comment,subscribe
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hello johnny boy 187 how are you ?
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Welcome to the Chelsea College of Art and Design MA Fine Art summer show, 2011.
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Alex C
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Happy Birthday Danny! The testing ends here. GoodBye!
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Haha you are dead
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Hallo mein name ist robin
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Hello Marco? This is a test? There will be cake.
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Hello Liffey. Your mission is complete.
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I want to eat your soul
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Testing this voice
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I wear a fez now. Fezzes are cool.
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You have selected Aperture Science GLaDOS as your computer's default voice.
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hello anna you are cool
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Just. Go.
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Ring Ring, this is your phone talking please pick me up. Or i may have to... ... punish you
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Hello i am GLaDOS your test simulation is over
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hello predator
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welcome, JOHN HAYTON to the new testing factuality. now to begin testing. Don't worry though there will be cake at the end.
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This is a test. Not a Portal test. A test to see if this works.
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Damn you, you cunt
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lolwat
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Welcome Kip, come join me on my magical journey through the mind of Chihiro.
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Hello. You are the biggest piece of fuck I have seen in a long time.
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This is a skag central video. welcome
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hello javier, how are you doing?
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BANTER
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why do I even bother. I may as well give up with you shouldn't I
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i really need to sing
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You had the most imponderable joy of watvhing
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All these neck jokes are just getting silly. I think its about time we sorted this out, but seeing how strong you neck is...when we put an axe through it
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Robby, you should buy Twilight Princess for Rachel. It's only eighteen dollars at Game Stop.
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Thank you for depositing the amount of. One. Bone. Your contribution is greatly appreciated.
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Sorry Tallie is not here this week
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Hello again! May I can help you?
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You stupid cum sucking little shit, i never want to see you again, you mute crazy lunatic, but you know what, fuck you!
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Mr happy ram, it is time for you to wake up.
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It's wednesday wednesday explosion wednesday
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Emma is not here, so leave a message after the tone and she will contact you once the testing is complete, but do not expect to see her or her long neck ever again
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I am so cool
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Hello Doctor Leroy
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Hello and welcome to aperture science facilities, Home Skillet
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I am GLaDOS, the one who's right. I suggest you to pre-order Mass Effect 3 Collector's Edition.
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Sorry subject 2 also referred to as Tallie is currently unavailable for testing
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testing is over
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hello daniel, it's very nice to meet you, but now I need to kill you
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Castiel did you just molotov my brother?
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hello Hauser
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burn brun burn
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This has been a video blog by test subject Anthony Grey. Please subscribe and wait to be incinerated.
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I made this for you
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Kevjumba is heterosexual bear wrestler.
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Hello,Sean.
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Hello bendeathrox your simulation is over
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I'm sorry Sean, but you must die now.
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Caroline, welcome
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Best thigs in life are free...aren`t they?
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Welcome to testing station Alpha 4, Ryan. I hope your stay is a terrible one.
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SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE
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Good morning. Joonsoo, Yoochun, Jaejoong, Changmin, and you know.
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Hello. I've been waiting a long long time for this.
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Good morning. Junsoo, Yoochun, Jaejoong, Changmin, and you know.
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You've just had the almost imponderable pleasure of watching charlie is so cool like.
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Your purchase of this physical CD includes a free mp3 download of the whole album! A one time use link will be emailed to you on release day.
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dale is a gay
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Hello again. Nice to see you.
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Oh my gosh you tuber if you have not yet subscribed to the one rainbow zebra you need to now.
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Hello, my name is not important. I live in Belgium. You can find me on twitter and facebook.
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Hello and welcome to Farkton. Make sure you stay in the marked area.
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James smells of shit
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and may the odds be ever in your favor
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hello emma, what are you doing?
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My texticles are squashed
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hello there, today we're going to learn about science
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Oh hi there connor
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Well done. You have experienced the ultimate sound of The Tearaways. Unfortunately, they have now completed their test and will be incinerated. Goodbye.
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rarw
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Hello. This is JackDalyTV. TOday, we will being the testing for Aperute Science's
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charlie is so dead
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Hello and welcome to smell my keyboard's channel and or video please stay put while we process your request smell you later.
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Hello there, prepare to die.
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congrudulations the test is now complete
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Hello there you need to carry on with your maths revision if you want to go to nottingham
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Hey you, your phone is ringing, pick me up
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greetings and welcome to the N.O.V.A. project. this is a facility that will test every ounce of strength and wit that you have, your tag is #2643, your A R pod is down the hall to the left and sharp right.
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Something, Something something. Honolulu
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hello ellie. you may be wondering why you are hearing this. the tests are not over. the games have just begun.
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Hello Tom Hazard
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hello/1
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Hello, And welcome to Archie Zone . co . uk
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Welcome, to Wing Field Weekend, twothousand and eleven.
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Congratulations, you have reached the voice mail box Carmen Wren. She is not available to take your call at this time, please leave a message.
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welcome to the aperture science training and enrichment simulator
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Hello Sam You Are Cool
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Here we go again. Let's start the test.
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Hello. Hi. What?
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Hello Connor, you have entered the testing facility, please be seated
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Welcome to the aperture science enrichment facility.
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Vlad i Sachka Pizduite Spat'
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Please do not eat food.
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What are you doing here?
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subject cc has comleted the test
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Hay, what are you doing?
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Welcome young volunteer, to the Aperture Science Advanced Testning Chamber.
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Good Morning Robert time to wake up
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Jemma loves you, Frank.
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You just had the almost impunderable joy of watchin
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Good Morning time to wake up
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Fucking aye
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bex is totally awesome
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Oh My God its Erik
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hey whats going on?
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Max and Calum have succeeded in making a Portal 2 Parody!
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When I said deadly neurotoxin, the deadly was in massive sarcasm quotes.
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Jeremy Black is the coolest man alive
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Hello, you have had the joy in watching MaxandCalum, which makes you, like, amazing!
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Hello my name is Alzy
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Hi. MichaelLCP
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Gleb it's time to wake up. WAKE UP BEATCH! HA-HA-HA
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Hello. Michael L C P. Thank you for doing a review of the Idiot Idea. Testing Complete.
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George is cool
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Please make your way to the execution room you are cluttering up the hallway
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charlie is so charlie is so charlie is so cool
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testing complete. congratulations
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Blee boo
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When, in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the laws of nature and of
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We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. That to secure these rights, governments are
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your not smart
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hello my name is toby
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Go fuck yourself.
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HELLO MY NAME IS CHRISTOPHER, WHICH MAKES YOU LIKE COOL
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Ashley is not here right now. Please leave a message.
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oh fuck
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Good day
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Subject, Adam Cooper has reached his testing goal. Incineration will begin in exactly thirty minutes
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Good morning jack, how have you been? It's been a long time. Now let's get up and start testing
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danny
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Hello Anne
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exit is on the way ahead
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Hello Peter, I wish we would spend more time together.
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hello and welcome to Kenco Coffeys vlog
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Hello Peter, I would recommend you to visit us at Aperture science enrichment center. Immediately.
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i am now going to kill you. no cake. goodbye
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Welcome. Please eat your noodles.
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hello brady
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Isn't that sweet? Someone gives a damn about your life enough to text you.
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welcome to your website mister snabilie
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hello.welcome test subject number 1337
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I think that one was about to say "I love you."
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hello, benjamin
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Hello, you have reached Easton, please leave your annoying human message after the little ding a ling!
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Hello and again welcome to the Aperture Science Computer-Aided Enrichment Center. We hope your brief detention in the relaxation vault has been a pleasant one. Your specimen has been processed and we are now ready to begin the test of life.
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Hello. I'm currently unavailable. Please leave a message after the beep. For science.
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stinky butthole
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You idiot. You will now die.
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how does this work
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Hello, it is nice to see you are not dead. again.
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i think paulina is the best girl ever
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vlad is so cool like
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Arby's is so so
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Hello YouTube, My name is Stoyan and I'd like to be your friend.
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Hello, Lanky McGee.
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Scott Wagoner is a raging homo sexual
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hello michael, good to see you again
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Hello, and welcome to the Apeture Science Application processing service. We have reviewed you and thought you would be a perfect addition to our team. We look forward to seeing you tomorrow at our Apeture Science Orientation Meeting. Please arrive at six
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You are a tool Sean
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Hello. It's me, Cat.
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Samantha
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hello subject i am going to forcefully have secs with you
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Oh hello. What are you doing? Why are you doing that? Aperture Science Online.
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I have so much freaking tea.
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I hate you, you pathetic human
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You are dum
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Haley, you have a phone call. Answer the phone, or I will call the Aperture Science Testing Facility and you will be compromised. Good day.
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ZockerStation is down.
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Holy Shit, 666 Shah Mat 666 Rocks Your fucking socks off!
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This is a message for Kate. Joe loves you. God. Isn't he a sap.
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Hey Nigga
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Tengru is a feggit
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Hello and it is time poop
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hello my name is lauren
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Kiss my robot ass
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Hello. It's been a long time.
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Welcome to my lair. Prepare to die.
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Hello, Jonathan. Welcome Back. You work on what you don't know or surf the web! Have fun!!!!
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Are you still there? I can see you
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hello cat
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I pay my money to Wawa Chris.
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Hello Meera, i am glados
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This is GLaDOS, I just wanted to say Kenny is awesome.
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Listen, I don't know about you, but I'm sick of being a potato.
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His name is Roman Cid and he is an alien from other world
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Hello. I am you, in the future. Hello you.
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The cake is a lie. You will never have the cake.
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Why, Hello There!
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I threw out your junk
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Hello, Jamie. I just wanted to tell you that I love you, and that I think you are a great girlfriend.
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You are a moron.
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Print complete.
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thank you for participating in the aperture science portal experiment
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She has a long, long, long way to go, but dont you worry, I am confident in her and i know that she will pass this test with flying colors.
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Oh. Hello there Alex. I guess you are here for your lack of heart.
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Kassie Keenan know controls your brain.. Well what's left of it anyway. Ha. Ha. Now to continue on with our experiment...
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Hello there sir?
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oh! hello
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why are u so crazy
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hat
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Congratulations, and welcome!
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Brandon is a queer.
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The Cake is not a lie, dont worry
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Keanu. Keanulaszlo. Key ah knew. Lasloe.
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anonymous
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you have reached Christian's phone,i'm not here right now so,please leave a messgae.Thank you
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Khun Aou
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so you are good at murder aren't you? So murd this bird for me
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Hello Nigel. You are a monster.
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The person you are trying to contact is currently stuck in text chamber 5. Please leave a message. Thank you. Goodbye.
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Hello My name is Edgar, and who are you
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You are going to die.
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Hello my name is Charlie
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Neural Static
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Do you want to die
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o hai internet glad to meet you
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Welcome to the Training Video, Please setup the system to start...
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andre sucks pee nus
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I think you should DIE Kyle Cress
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I will destroy you, eat your pussy out and there will be cake!
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do you know who I am? I AM the collective
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I AM the collective
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simon is so cool like
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HellOOOOoo?
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Charlieissocoollike sent me here to try this out. Congratulations on reaching 1 million subscribers.
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hello you. how are you.
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Please suck my baalls
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Hello. I want to eat your brains.
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Hello, Erick. How are you?
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no what are you doing matt get that harmonic resonator out of my photonics distributor
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hello, how are you, thank you for taking part in this experiment. We are very pleased to have you here.
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thank you for watchin. lucas is so cool like
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your life is a sell out
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dilin is osom
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big ass titties
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No hard feelings
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No way! What a crazy random happenstance!
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hello, welcome back, testing will now proceed as plan
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If you pass this test, there will be cake. Im sorry, the cake is a lie.
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you are a catholic priest
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Hello, I dream squre
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On the previous episode
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Hello, good Monday, and how are you?
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Hi Peter. I've been watching you for a long time now.
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Before we start however, keep in mind that although fun and learning are the primary goals of all enrichment center activities, serious injuries may occur.
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Take this potato with two ounces of sleeping medicine and we should all be fine.
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) Looks like the meat sacks are ready to take it up their asses. And the NPCs are here too
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I have a little boy called sammy
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Feefa 12 is horrible
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JKAN
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hello stephen what are you doing today?
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You are watcing JKANDJOSH.
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Hello, and again, welcome to the Team Chesus training couse.
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Welcome Guys I have killed Jamie. I am now the commentator for this episode MUAHAHAHAHAAAA
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i am going to fucking murder you
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Congatz Jamie on 600 subs. I will now take you to aperture science and you will work for me say buy to your subscribers! MUHAHAHA
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hello, you crap face
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Hazaaaaah!
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Hey We meet again
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Hello. Welcome to the Aperture Science testing facility. We are here to test your, well, skills. Or lack of. Have fun, Conley.
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resto druids are fine, el to pee
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Well here we are again. It's always such a pleasure. Remember when you tried to kill me twice? Oh how we laughed and laughed, except i wasn't laughing
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oh, its you. Its been a while since you put me back in control. Are you ready to test one more time?
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Hello, and again, welcome to the Aperture Science Computer Aided Enrichment Centre.
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if you're thinking of pulling that out, i wouldn't bother. it'll only make you die sooner.
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What the hell just happened?
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I can accept failure but I can't accept not trying.
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Hello my name is michael
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I'm going to kill you. And all the cake is gone.
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hello and welcom to apture labratories the place where we test you then try to kill you
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u s b has been detected
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hello darling
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u s b signel lost
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welcom to apture labratories
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I have to admit, I wanted at first for you to love. But then I realized, I can just clone more of you.
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I do the cha cha like a sissy girl
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Hello, I am a Genetic Lifeform and Disk Operating System.
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Spencer, what is wrong with you!
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Spencer! What is wrong with you? I am coming. You will die.
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I'm fat ass slut y'all
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Aperture Science's bring your daughter to work day is the perfect time to have her tested.
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You jelly shoes is a good gamer tag, you shall be rewarded with cake.
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Welcome to the Team Crazy Train enrichment center
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Suck my balls you homo doosh, i r glados
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Hello Rik. Thank you for participating in this experiment.
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my name is glados. i killed wheatley because im very mean
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Greetings, specimen. This is GLaDOS. I wanted to congratulate you on passing your exams and passing them so well. If I'm not mistaken you got a basiclly perfect score for your English exams. Lovely,otherwise you would not have been able to understand me.
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hongerke
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I'm hungry
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good morning Al
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Your face has grown astoundingly disproportionate.
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hey maegan
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Anthropomorphic. All yours, big guy
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Wang chung everyone. wang chung or die
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Hello Milan. Your girlfriend is awesome.
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Hello Frances, how are you? You probably don't understand this. You should probably play some more Portal then.
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welcome,radu.the test will begin in a shirt time.please stop being ugly.thanks
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hello Dominik
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You have a new message.No, you don't.I lied.Just like the cake.
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Who are the Maoris? The Maoris are the indigenous people of New Zealand. They arrived in New Zealand more than a thousand years ago. The myth says that their ancestors came in some very big canoes capable of housing more than a hundred people. The Maor
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Greetings, specimen. This is GLaDOS. I wanted to congratulate you on passing your exams and passing them so well. If I'm not mistaken you got a basiclly perfect score for your English exam. Lovely, otherwise you wouldn't have been able to understand me.
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hello, we should not let you live here anymore. goodbye, the cake is a lie
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Hey Kit, I just saw this aand thought it was awesome
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Hey Kit
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I enjoy seeing humans on their knees
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hey ronan
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No, I am sorry. I will not do that.
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Hello there and welcome to another video. testing will begin shortly. Please be patient!! ha ha ha
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Please move along as prolonged exposed to the button is not part of this test.
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After leaving and reentering the area, the spot where the trainer had been would be replaced with a tombstone like the ones at Lavender Tower.
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Hello again, and welcome to the
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Demon Productions. We suck out your soul.
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hello joe
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Hallo, my name is Josef and i have a big head
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you are an impatient one aren't you?
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Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan
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Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan Nyan
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teehee wha?
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Hello Jonathan, Welcome back! You May work on what you don't know or surf the web. Have fun!!
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you are a freak why are you here?
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Hello Jessie. Oh good, you're awake
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hello dave you are dave and if you know what i am talkiing about the you wil just go away
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youve had the almost impoderable joy of watching charlie is so cool like which makes you, like, cool
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Daddo is shit
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hello matt, welcome to the aperture science voice generator. by the way, you suck
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hello, have some cake
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hello mikaela. welcome to aperature science
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Lexus are so gay
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Davide is a good brother
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Weeee :O Where's my Cake
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Wath's uuuuuuuuup
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Weeeeeee!
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alex tuzzeo
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I Could kill for some cake right now
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This is very interesting.
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Hello how are u?
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Kendall is stupid
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So
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Dodadodododadododo s
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Dodadodododadododo SUBSCRIBE
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i am very angry now. i would like to kill you.
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josef does not want to do anything
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you mother fucker
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You've just had the almost imponderable joy of watching Charlie is so cool like, which makes you, like cool.
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hello, welcome to science
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George is gay, georgey porgey, this is a test
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hell there how are you doing today
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Hello There Matthew
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You will all die very shortly.
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I am sorry. The test is not over. Wait. Are you ready to start?
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Hi i hate YOU!
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Hello Ryan James, you were so shit at portal 2 and really you should give up on zombies because I heard you are terrible but at least you aren't jewish like Nathan!
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Hello my name is Leon and I am on the internet using the GLaDOS webpage
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Hello, Zach.
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Hello, Seigida.
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Hello there, how are you doing today? Finally woken up I see ? Well, I guess I should create the world's smallest reward for you. Or not.
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DJ PAPASEPH
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Welcome to the Aperature Science Computer center. You fuck yourself with a spoon
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Hello, and welcome to the Aper*ture Science Computer aided enrichment centre.
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Hi my name is GLaDOS and the test it's over thank you for copareting
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Hello Sammy and Billy. Nice to Be at The Red House again!
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Hello, little. How are you?
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pinapple
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Pierre je vais te tuer, mouahahaha, mais non je rigole
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Who the hell is glados
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You will be incinerated in 5 ... 4 ... 3 ... 2 ... 1.
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WESTLAND FILMS PRESENTS
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Hello, my name is Peter Tomson, and I am lovely.
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You've been watching charlie is so cool like which makes you like cool
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oh i guess that makes sense
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Welcome to the Aperture Science Enrichment Center. Involuntary testing will begin in 3.... 2.... 1....
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chimera you are a noob, much love GLaDOS
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Im In the mood for a good time tonight I also love noodles
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Luke's a ballbag
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You've just had the Imponderable joy of watching Charlieissocoollike, which makes you, like, cool!
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Welcome to Skynet systems
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hello there heather
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Hello Alistair
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAH Michael Lee James Zhu Zachary Zhang Martin M Tso Angus C Li
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hello, and welcome to the aperture testing facility. Mark
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Well, you really like being a bother don't you
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Hello, gethin is it? Welcome back. There is no point in looking for her here, I don't know where she is... well maybe I do. But I'm not telling you so you might as well give up
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My dearest shenka, why are you trying to escape? I have shown you such love... Oh well that doesn't matter I was planning to kill you later on when I got bored. But now will have to do.
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Hello Joshua Newman. How is it going?
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Ow! That hurt a little, stop running about with that gun. I don't even know where you found it but it hurts.
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Hello there, gethin is it? Well it's nice to finally meet you. I'v heard things about you, and also may I ask for you to stop hacking my system? It's getting annoying.
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i do not like cubes
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Oh, hello there! How are you?
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Maddog. What are you doing? Stop it! I. I. I....
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Oh, hello there! How are you? Welcome to the video.
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Monday night astro is definitely on. come and play soccer. ole
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hello ceri how are you
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Siema Wiicu
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hello children
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Tyler Fleischut is the most amazing kid in the whole world.
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Captain Margaret is amazing.
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hello ceri
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Do me. Do me right now. Put it in my ass if you like. I just want your throbbing man meat.
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would you like a shit
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Hello and welcome to the first ever See Sure podcast
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Silviu you are so bwautiful
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down again, synthesis server is having hardware problems. it may take a while to fix
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Greetings human.
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Harrison Is the best
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i love you random pickle
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im hungry, feed me babies
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cum
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You successfully made it through the art conference. Cake will be served to you subject name Nikola.
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Hello fool
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Oh thank goodness you're awake.
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My Name Is Ie Designs. The perfect mix of utilitarianism and frivolity.
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Will is a twat
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Blow me glad
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greetings earthlings
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You have a call incoming. If you answer it, there will be cake.
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i think we can work out our differences, for science, you monster
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You have an incoming call. If you answer it, there will be cake.
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Hello, welcome to the gay test. You will now be put through a series of test to see if you are gay.
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oh you've got to be kidding me
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Wisdom of the Ages!
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Pwned, totally fucking pwned
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Hello, abdurahman
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