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MessageDownloadDate addedDate processed
godzillaonster122
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Get your phone
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olivia is stupid
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You can not beat me :) I am the one and only who can kill anyone!
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boy i think about it every night and day i'm addicted wanna jump inside your love
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lemon tree
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dsfgfdgfd
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ari its so good to see you. its been a long time
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hello you seem to have a text on your telephonic devise
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rudy beats on the track
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Ich Finde Stuber riecht uunangenehm
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Hello Erlend, my name is GLaDOS.
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hi is becky there? oh can you tell her aman called.
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The Podcast will start in 3, 2, 1
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I would like your babies
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jen timmy un
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Poop Is So Good, I wish I could eat it.
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AAAAAAARGH! How DARE you remove my insult core, you, you, you...person.
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for the safety of all aperture science employees do not destroy any vital testing aperatus
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How are you Welcome to Aperture Science mmmm well as you can see.Im emulating my voice to your computer
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Hello i say you:THE CAKE IS A LIE!
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Krishna is unavailable right now, please leave a message.
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Welcome to the Aperture Science product advertisement for the newly developed Apeture Science Handpowered Aquatic Transport Device.
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Happy Birthday Jason
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Stop right criminal there scum
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Stop right there criminal scum
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sonic 2
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welcome to e3
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Hello Rachel.
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the cake was not a lie!
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driving..............means...........................nothing
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thank you for calling gold star labs. Please leave your name, number, and a brief message and we'll get back to you shortly. thanks!
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Alex is a homosexual.
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I'm sorry, Aperture Science Employe Jacob Preston, is not here as he is too busy stuffing his face with cake until he death.
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Hey bro
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Shut the fuck up!
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The book is on the table
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Wheatley, I love you!
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Antonio Nunes!
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Can I get a drink?
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School sucks!
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Battlefield 3 will kick Modern Warfare 3 ass.
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hola soy adrian
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This message is in queue position #12,000
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My name is GLaDOs and life here in Apature Science sucks.
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victory
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Hello,I'm GLaDOS.
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pep pep tep kep chep fep.
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hi losser
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Sam, it's time for bed. I like your Stephen Hawking voice.
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ZOMG
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Hello, Caroline
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Well, you guys are going to the U K for your travel project, correct? What are you going to do there?
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So, you guys are going to the U K for your travel project, correct? Well, what are you going to do there?
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You are a terrible person. I want to kill you,
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jose answer the phone!
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Welcome subject 24458 in Aperture Science Laboratories.
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Good morning Kacper. Please wake up because you must go to school. If you do this good, you will get a cake. Please move to test chamber 2 to start the test.
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Hello Daniel, and welcome again to the enrichment center. I hope you enjoyed your break. Testing will now resume. Please step into the test chamber and slide the slider to the right to unlock your aperture science android device. Well done Daniel.
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hello eleaor
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eat your choad bastage. I want you gone.
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eat the shit straight out of my dirty asshole, cuntwheeze
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Hello Kees please go to test chamber 19 for cake
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We are the power of the Soviet
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hello rafay
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Caroline, oh sweet Caroline, rest in peace
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My name is Rudi
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Lol im having problems
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fujing foreign
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glafos rr
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hello, i'm GLADoS!
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You sir are fucking awsome
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potatoeggs@hotmail.com
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Hello Is not available, please leave a message after the beep thank you , Goodbye
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look at the pictues. this is my friend tom. he was very kind and killed many people. he always killed glados too.how kind he was
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user name 030483812
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user name 030483812 password 111
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Wow this is a hiper giant cake
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deer yogscast you are in the honeydew cave
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Hello, and welcome to dhughes' portable support laptop.
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GLaDOS was voiced by Ellen McLain, a professional voice actress. This tool is automated, thus cannot rely on professional voice acting; instead, it uses text-to-speech synthesis to generate a female voice, then distorts it to make it more GLaDOS-like. Thi
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why? I will tell you why. It's for cake. Delicious tasty cake. So do it!
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The Debut Album by Fallen Fate, The Virus Has Spread. Available June seventeenth two thousand and eleven
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teeeeeeeest
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You are like an eagle. A fat very fat eagle.
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i hate to test but i have to to stop the itch
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SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE
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It seems you have an e mail
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nuts
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hello norbertt
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hello norbert
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You dangerous, mute, lunatic
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are u still there
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zijn u er nog steeds
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Surprise for Josh in three two one
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hello! My name is GLaDOS! I love cake! Welcome to Aperture Science
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Please proceed to the android hell
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dera
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It's been a long time!
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Previously on Minecraft Survival Now, Minecraft Survival
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testing, testing, 123
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My birthday is going to suck,
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the tests will start
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I am the best person in the world, obviously.
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what it do
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hello and again welcome to the apurture science computer aided science enrichment program
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hello my name is penguin sauce
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lolz you die now
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half life
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mother
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Wiky ti stanno chiamando, vorresti rispondere?
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klsjdfjksd
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Hello,you have a message text.
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hello please fuck me
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Pinchbeck must DIE!
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ACT I SCENE I. Elsinore. A platform before the castle. FRANCISCO at his post. Enter to him BERNARDO BERNARDO Who's there? FRANCISCO Nay, answer me: stand, and unfold yourself. BERNARDO Long live the king! FRANCISCO Bernardo? BERNARDO He.
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sadsadasdasdasdsadsa
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fsefdgjho;lkyjthdgrs
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Hello hugo. I see you are ready to comence testing
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Hello Bozo
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Hello hugo. I see you are ready to comence testing. I hope the cake is a lie
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Buber you suck ass
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The cake is a lie. So i wount let you
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Welcome to the d-system computer
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Hello, and welcome to this test. I know all of you are complete morons so please bare with me.
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Because I'm a pumpkin
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You Monster...
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hello harald
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Just testing
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Be Cause I'm a pumpkin
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Wow, jacob so i heard your friend is gay
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WORLD EXLUSIVE BY DJ AIRWALK!
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menj el
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worrrrld ERROR i GLaDOS just failed. wwwwWORLD EXLUSIVE BY DJ AIRWALK!
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Hi, I am a computer.
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Don't run, you'll just die tired
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Thats You Thats How Dumb You Have
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hello and welcome to peppermints.
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That was fun
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hello and welcome to peppermints. and remember the cake is a lie. Have a nice day.
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REDUCE
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Lo pwned u noob
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hello in Aperture Science Institut
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No please, continue being a mindless heap of lost potential. I don't mind, and neither does science.
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Just giving this a test
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Hello, Julian, and again, welcome to the Aperture Laboratories
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Blubafish
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The [test subject = Lucas Alves] is so gay.
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i'm glados! hi, where you are?
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How Did You Got In? and More importantly , Wheres the Cake?
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Imperial Troops Have Entered The Base! Imperial Troops Have Ent-
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dsaf
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asdfg
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Hello, You Are The Subject 20001
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Please... Read The Message, Please!, I Kill You Now
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Whit...No
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Go Back
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Hi how are you today ?
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hi roman im GLaDOS your best friend you want to help me kill a mute lunatic with lasers
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Die With nirotoxin
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behind you
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uhh
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I'm about to lose my mind you've been gone for so long I'm running out of time I need a doctor call me a doctor I need a doctor, doctor to bring me back to life I told the world one day I would pay it back say it on tape, and lay it, record it so that one
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I'm about to lose my mind you've been gone for so long I'm running out of time I need a doctor call me a doctor I need a doctor, doctor to bring me back to life
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So they say practice makes you perfect. So they say you can't teach an old dog. So they say have an apple a day. So they say better safe than sorry. Everyone knows what they always say, and when I slow it down It's clear just how It's what they don't say
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Invader zim
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Attention! Attention! a a emergency has been reported, please cease operations and leave the build by the nearest exit or fire exit stairwell, then procede to the parking lot in front of the lodge and await instructions.
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Aperture Science Computer Aided Enrichment Center.
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Hello Sean. Welcome to the Aperture Science Computer Aided Enrichment Centre. We are now commencing the tests in. 3. 2. 1.
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Hello, and, once again, welcome to the enrichment center.
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Do not worry. It won't hurt... Much
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Hi This is TempaahR
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I am thinking of saying something awesome but I wonder if it really will be awesome
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I am Canada
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I Am Achoron
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hello stephanie
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Welcome To CAManga.net : Where Cartoons, Anime, And Manga Meet!
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we're in beta and releasing on time
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Hello, Griffin, and welcome once again to the Enrichment Center
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Well hello.
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Hello i defeated the irkens because i am their computers
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Was it worth it?
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Oh. Did you think you were going to talk to Steven? Well, you can't. So, leave a message.
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Hello. And welcome to Youtube, You can watch anything that you can watch,
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Ha Ha Ha, That Was A Test. You Passed! Good Job! If You Have Any Injuries Please Report To...Hell.
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hello ukengrazer sucks and she is a terrible mother and deserves to die
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helo and welome,nick will
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helow and welcom,nick will
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Well. Fuck. You. Alex.
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Emptied the Recycle Bin
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Oren, you are full of bugs
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Hello, and welcome to the... oh great. Someone... ccrgnnnncrggrgcnnrgcnncnnnxggr!!!
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oh its you how have you been ive been real busy being dead you know after you murdered me how about we put our diffrences aside for sience you know you killed me so i kill you
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by myself
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Welcome in my world.The world of RedBull
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hello nub what time do you have sir
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ola amigos
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we hate you, please die
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how have the convetnions of the genre
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Lets fuck
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Hello cecilia
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Ich bin Sunny. ich starb vor vielen Jahren doch kein geist leibt weiter in dieser machine
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This file is meant to transform you into a Pichu furry. A Pichu is a pre-evolved form of a Pikachu. This transformation will occur in a step-by-step process over a period of time, until you are able to see yourself transformed fully and easily.
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Let's do some Portal Kombat. FINISH HIM!!!
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Hello, welcome to the aperture science laboratories.
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Oh! It's you!
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Don't Touch Me that way
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lololollololololol
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god damn it
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you have a mail!
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Hallo Daniel ist leider nicht erreichbar aber du kannst ihm eine Nachricht hinterlassen.
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Hey, lady, what's your favourite thing about space?
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Oh joy. You have a text.
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Hello there, I'm glados
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Hi. How are you? Do you want to tell with me?
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Remember when you tried to kill me? you monster.
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Hi there, you suck
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Oh, no. How this guy make voice like this?
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hfj
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gabe newell is so fat :) he cant even see his belly button! And so fat that he can block out a black hole !
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oh hi there, i have a present for you
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oh, i see you are still alive
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Subject walk in the room
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Ddirich Raumhart is lord of darkness
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welcome to apereture labratories.
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oh my god go away
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birmingham face
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whatsup patar
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Hello julia how are you doing?
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Hello Rachel, would you like to test?
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Hello Connor, would you like to test?
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hello austin how are you who are your freinds i do not know them i hope that you will not let then kill me that wound make me sad
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I want your cauk inside me!!!
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hello austin how are you i hope what is the world how is that is that your freind i hope that she will not kill me will she
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well, Hello there human. Are you ready for some testing?
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Turrets? Where are you ? You are so useless, why arent you shooting?Come on Fire !
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Welcome to aperture scince operating system
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hello and welcome to the inrichment centre
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hi blair how are you
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hey how is everyone today?
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You again? So you a test for the old times? Haha! When you become ready, just press that button
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You again? So you want a test for the old times? Haha! When you become ready, just press that button.
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hola amigos
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Is that a tree? how did that get in here? i am confused.
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this is a mostgoodX video, enjoy.
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Coucou tu veux voir ma bite ?
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shut up fucking burrito
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lol helloooooo
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wat u r doin
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lol, josef fish is so cool and so is tewwawia
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Chell, tell me
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I eat poo
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Fish shaped candies. Fish shaped dirt. Fish shaped solid waste. Candy coated peanut butter pieces. Shaped like fish. Sedimental resin. Fiberglass poleyester resin. 1 cup Rhubarb. 2 cups granulated Rhubarb. 1 cup Rhubarb juice. 1 Rhubarb . 1 cup Rhubarb
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Let`s go.
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Happy Birthday to you, it is very important that you have fun and party, Alex
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The enrichment centre is required to remind you, that you will be baked, and then there will be cake
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Launching teamspeak.
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dsadsadasads
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Tihs is a special test for you
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Hey hey kids it's your old pal, krusty!
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Hello, Mike. Ready to play Twilight Imperium?
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You have a new email, Oakley
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Salut sunt Boka iar tu asculti HipHop in the Night pe www.radiogsb.eu
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Hello, I am GlaDOS, oh whoops. Sorry, did I mention I have this voice aswell?
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suck on this
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holy shit, there is mayonnaise everywhere. help me please. its in my soul
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You are a whore
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Hello Thank you for comeing out tonight I Am anonymousX now i will blow minds.
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plord is a big doosh bag
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Faith
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Hello elad
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Hello and welcome to IST. IST stands for information and software technology. I would now like to introduce you to my master Mr Simak. Thankyou for choosing IST. Goodbye
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Hello. The person you have called is not available. Please leave a detailed message after the tone.
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tatties
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This Program is Rated TV MA
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Wheee.......... Oopsie!.... AW, CRAP!
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Poor Chell you know You cant Help One Tiny Song Thatll Make You Eventually kill yourself
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wow thats cool
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The Cake is a Lie You know That Right?
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Hello there, puny human
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Wow, I really have spent too much time playing Poral 2 in the past week
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Jackson is so hot
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dada
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these next tests require cooperation
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Welcome to the show, humans. I am your husband.
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hi mom its me Ashon talking in a glados voice. you know the girl from portal duh
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Hello Test Subjects 18 and 19. Also know as Joe Clarck and Brandon Morgan.
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Hello, and welcome back Jacob. How have you been? It's been a long time.
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Hello test subject 9765, how have you been
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Welcome to the Aperture Science Situational Comedy Generator program. Please continue working in the environment we have provided. It's not like you'll be leaving any time soon.
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wasdasda
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Hello, and thanks for calling.
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Hello weerdo i will now kill you
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Hello, Danyon. Your computer is now online. It's been a Loong time.
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Stupid Jew
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hello nice to meet you
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Hello Josh and Isaiah, how are you doing today. This was a triumph, im making a note here huge success it's hard to overstate my satisfaction
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wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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Why are you testing this? Go away.
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Can you conceive of the birth of a world, or the creation of everything? Creation takes time. Time is limited. For you, it is limited by the breakdown of the neurons in your brain. I have no such limitations.
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miguel
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As for anthropogenic see oh two in the sky
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Welcome to the E.S.A. headquarters. The password is 4132857690
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hello text in here
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Hello welcome to aperture science please procced to testing chamber 19 for cake
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You suck Brad!
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hey angel i love you
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We DID have new art, but unfortunately. you won the war. You horrible, HORRIBLE players.
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Where are you taking me? Please put me down. Noooooooooooooo
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Your message has been captured
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Hello there Humans
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Ispyiuemy, leave the elevator and begin the test. Remember, the future developments of science depends on you
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welcome to apature laboritories
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fghfghgfh
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Spaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaacceeeee!!!!!!
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hello mikey welcome to the aperture science enrichment centre lets begin testing
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hello again mikey we will teach you how to use a portal device with cubes,emancipation grills,buttons and excursion funnels
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Oh my god, nooooo
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You have received a new notification.
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welcome to lincraft
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Welcome to the Aperture Science computer engineering
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How are you doing? Because I'm a potato.
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Alien device detected. You will be inciner- ignore what I just said...er...um...keep testing.
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Welcome to the aperture science enrichment center. hurrrrrrrrrrrr durrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
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you should marry it. but i won't let you!
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Hello Josh
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hello mister smit. You should get yourself a copy of portal two from the aperture science laboratory
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Hello, matt, you are a noob
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Hi it's me GLaDOS. Im here to talk about Doug Rattman. The mysterious guy that paints murals in rooms. He is in a comic called portal 2 lab rat. I think i have his file. I will find him someday and kill him with neorotoxin. Anyway, by.
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Success
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I think we can put our differences behind us, for science, you monster
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ARMANI EXCHANGE
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hey, why don't you ever fuck me?
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You cannot escape
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Hello, you are now playing a mod for the game Portal 2
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Hello euan
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Paty, you're gay.
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hi, my name is 225 character max
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hello mortal being
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Welcome to view the next report aperture science, the subject will work with test energy balls. Thank you for viewing the report Aperture science and remember the cake is a lie
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I am the omnibus
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Hi ny name is glados
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Sometimes, I dream about cheese
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Hello Molly
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Baki Peter
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Bem vindo a aperture science
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Welcome to The Glove Compartment podcast.
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elcome to view the next report aperture science, the subject will work with test energy balls. Thank you for viewing the report Aperture science and remember the cake is a lie
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there are a thousand suns here
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you want my pussy?
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hi. i wanna make love to you with my pu ssy
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Hello Brock. Let's begin your testing now.
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Ja ubila teba
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Hello, lets have fun... testing!
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Mathew welcome to the test remember do not tell rob that he is terrible at the test chamers
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hi carlos, it's been a long time since you killed me.
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you are nw in possesion of the aperture science handheld portal device
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hello my name is james
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you are a shitface
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Hello eleonora
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Where did I put my cake? Oh. Darn. I gave the cake machine a day off so I don't have any cake. Why l did I do that?
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Hello Ivan, Let's begin testing
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kikito popo
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i love playing call of duty
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Niggers are science
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Don't go watch Roku, Claire. If you did that, I might not think we're friends anymore. Oh wait. Are we friends?
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Hello! How have you been? I thinked all the time...on you. Stand by...me
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Ben Seitz is awesome
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Please me, Show me how it's done, trust me, you are the one.
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hellou
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Hola alberto, como estas? bien? que haces, cuando no matas nada?
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Kristof has some problems with the site
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Hey benja how are you doing
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Ophelia you are a moron.
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Disney Online
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Welcome, Human.
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Oh, haven't you heard? Your Toontown's newest citizen.
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Elijah
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Dount help him
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don't help him
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and please
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This nursing home is so fun. I love it here.
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Hello. I'm Glados. Howdy.
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Welcome to Portal Two generation, relax, sign Three D glasses, watch P.O.R.N.O and masturbate until I'm done count down. Teeen, Niine, Eight, Seven, Six, Five, Four, Three,Two,Oneeeeeeeee
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SKYRIM!
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hello, i believe you must be the new test subject
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Good evening. They call me GLaDOS
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Do not try to eat the operational device. Because that would be stupid.
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You've got mail, you monster
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if you do not die in the next 30 seconds because of neurotoxins,i will kill you.
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i fucked your MAC.
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if you actually thick you are going to do that............ well......................you did.
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hello and again welcome to hit by parked cars youtube chanel
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Well you have been replaced. I don't need anyone now
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its been a loooong time, you monster
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Exactly what do you think you're doing?
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ha ha ha ha ha ha
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Welcome to the Catalyst Gaming community of Garry's mod. We supply the finest servers such as Orange Cosmos Role Play and Half Life 2 rp, please make yourself at home. Don't forget to watch out for... roflwaffle... haha
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spaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaace
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I would rather do your mom
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Why hello there, it's good to see you today.
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Tired of waiting for your computer?
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bienvenido ala instalacion de windows XP SP3
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Good. I'm glad that's over with. Now stop being such a stupid betch so we can get back to what is really important. Testing.
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Windows has encountered an error and needs to be shut down!
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hello, its been a loooooooooooong time! how have you been? oh there your are, lets have fun, with science.
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welcome to the aperature science enrichment center
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You killed me. You monster
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The Mistress is in.
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Hello Jefferey
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Genesis Corporation directive one. Eliminate escaped test subjects.
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In Portal 2 some characters are Chell, GLaDOS, Atlas, and P-Body
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Hello Dave I have missed you
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hello drew
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well okay that makes sense
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pene gordo
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THAT IS VERY WISE OF YOU. THESE RIDDLES OF WHICH YOU SPEAK - ARE THEY STUPID? I WON'T HAVE MY PATIENCE TRIED WITH STUPID RIDDLES.
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hola, me llamo glados
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hello welcome to Aperture Science
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Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are they who mourn, for they shall be comforted. Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth
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I am not pleased with the stupidness of your stupidity. Stupidty is a hoice NOT a state of mind. Amatuer.
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GASP! Twenty-three skidoo! Gosh knows what that means. I confuse and scare myself. What I sad, pathetic life I live.
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Hi im Johny Knoxville and welcome to jackass
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i'm gonna make you a cake
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You just experienced censorship. At Hellsing, we do not tolerate potty mouths
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this is a test maybe it will be a triumph
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dog
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This is a more complex test, with a more complex sentence.
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Forget what we said, have cake.
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You are now receiving a phone call, please slide the green arrow to accept. I must notify you again,
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As for Chell, I hope you suffocate in your sleep. Because I still hate you. I always will. I am not saying this because I still hold some sort of secret hidden passion for you. Shut up and die.
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Oh, It's You. It's Been a Long time. The Lich King, Arthas Menethil
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Today i saw a fluffy bunny, it didnt last long.
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Surprise will begin in three.... two... one...
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guma ssij
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jee pay heyt un pay day
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portaaall rockkx
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Sitting before you is the Aperture Science Portal Device
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with only 100,000 tickets available
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Subscribe
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The cake was a lie now im going to kill you
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Hurry up or you will not get any cake
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hah
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Before you leave i must say this,i love you
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no confies en el
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Hello I am talking in this voice.
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Oh. Hello
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hullo
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hello and, again, welcome to the aperture science xperiments progrM
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I don't hate you?
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Spencer, Mark
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Hi my name is jeff
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hey mofos
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Helo cafi how are you?
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the worms will be triumphant
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Hello, and again. Welcome to the aperture Science enrichment activities. Hola a todos, soy GLaDOS
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I love you mee
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gLADOS hallow ei gehts
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i will kil you
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Jesus is good.
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Welcome to the Aperture Science Laboratories. We will begin testing shortly
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If at first you don't suceed, you fail. And the testing will be terminated
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hello kai this is glados
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Hello kai. this is glados. welcome to the apeture science enrichmen center.
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Are you Still there? Charlie is unavailable, Please leave a message.
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Pitooooo
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what the hell you think you are doing
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pitooo
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pito
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Hello, and welcome to the Aperture Science artificial inteligence enrichement experiment
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123f
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Lost in a dream I don't know which way to go A-let me say, if you are all that you seem Then, baby, I'm movin' way too slow I've been fooled before Wouldn't like to get my love Caught in the slammin' door How about some information, please?
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Lost in a dream I don't know which way to go A-let me say, if you are all that you seem Then, baby, I'm movin' way too slow I've been fooled before Wouldn't like to get my love Caught in the slammin' door How about some information, please? Straight up,
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You're not smart, you're not a scientist
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There is only one way to get out Death
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rory likes to suck on whale penii
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Hello. How are you? I am so bad, i just get insenerated.
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Congratulations. You have reached level 19, thus unlocking new abilities. Have sorting them out. By yourself.
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hi dude
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Hello, do you want to eat cake?
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Szia
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asdwqasdsa
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By my self because you'll be dead
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For the good of all of us.
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I like cakes
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My voice is my passort. Verify Me.
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Would you like some bacon?
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Ok, I'm in. Let's see what we've got down here.
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Bonsoir, Je suis votre mort ! ah ah ah
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Greetings Jake. Can I help you now?
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lucky is a whore
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Hello. I have made this song for you.
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its you
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Hello, IONA
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One, two. One, two. It is a test
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you have serious problems
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I am glados. Hear me roar!
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hello my name is paul
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I'm afraid I can't let you do that, Dave.
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Silvia is calling
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