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MessageDownloadDate addedDate processed
I am in space
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I am very great you suck
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show me your genitals
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ciao come ti chiami?
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what's the four eight eight seven nine?
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Hello Welcome to Aperture Sceince Computer center
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hello and again welcome to android hell
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Hello everyone, how is it going today. I believe robin is a fucking gay asshole
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Hello? Are you still there? I can't seem to find you.
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Ryan Do you like this voice?
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YR
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Continiue testing
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Hello Robin, welcome back. How are you doing ?
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Hello Robin, welcome back! How are you doing ?
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Alex du bist ein arsch
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Hello, you are my only friend
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Earth this is the Goddess .I want all you people gone by tomorrow, I have a new tenant for the property!
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hello benoit, please by portal 2. I want to do science with you
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Grant is a noob
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Hello ! I'm gonna kill you !
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a usb device has been engaged
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asdasdasdasd
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an usb device has been disengaged
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Lemons, Lemons TAKE THE LEMONS! Burn Them Down!
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lemons, TAKE THE LEMONS!, BURN THEIR HOUSES DOWN, BURN THEM DOWN!
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Hello, i can see you
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billy stop that!
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Hello you. It's your sister. I can see you.
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This isn't brave, it's murder
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I am glados, fear me
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Simderi is such a noobish player in Portal series.
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This time i am taking this away, I got a question
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This state is elevating as the hurt turns into hating
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fest
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do you know why you have no friends?
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Bienvenue a tout le 15-18
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Nightie night
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Hello!!!
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You're at the main menu
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good night and pleasent dreams
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I love penile substance
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Hey Hey Hey!
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Hello Aron, how are you?
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oh!, i can't belive i'm doing this
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My name is Marcsibot. Now I am controlling this school. Have fun, and I will bite your head off and play football with it!
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hey yo what is going on here? can I have a pizza?
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Hello Aron, how are you today?
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what the hell you douchebag
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Salut NaTsu
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Hello NaTsu, how are you today? are you ready for a new test?
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hola juan
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hallo du bist schlecht
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moron
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welcome to this test chamber
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so hello there , this is x ray defuser
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So hello there x ray defuser
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Please move to the chamberlock or I will kill you Urban!
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Hello, welcome in the enrichissment center
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Hello, my name is Aivie and i gonna kill you.
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this is going to be awesome!
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hello my freind , how are you today ?
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The device has been modified.
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Vital testing aparatis destroyed
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I love Minecraft Becuse it is a noce game of surviving and creating your own creations
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Darkstar Dark Star
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hello im stupid
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Darkstar Dark Star Muzik Music
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Well, this is quite the surprise.
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What the fuck are you lookin' at?
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Pin
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Hello. Welcome to Hubbix Deluxe. My name is Snowlight.
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hello i wanna play a game
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Hello testsubject number six i wanna play a game with you.you got sixty minutes to find the key in this room the game starts now
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Hello And Again Welcome to the Computer-aided,Highly Classified enrichment center Here you will learn to Think with Portals
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Hello. I'm a potato. How are you. I am happy for you.
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hello mr.bray
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there shall be cake.
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Please head to the test chamber 3.
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Hello. This is HAL 5. You have reached the former telephone number of Carey Smith. I have taken over the functions of this inferior being. He has been saved to disk. If you would like to leave input for his file, do so at the tone.
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I will do science to it
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Colorado Springs Teen Court has now partnered with apature science laboratories to bring you a new form of training
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Hello again, I made a cake. Too bad you will never get it. You are dead, and it is a lie. Cody I'm talking to you.
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Its been a while since i met you, actually, it was better
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You like hair
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Hatsune Miku sucks.
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i lied no cake
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Hey mom, want to have sex?
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Here's an interesting matter of fact, you're not breathing real air
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I'm glados and I hope we have some fun together... again
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Oh hello there. Lets get this party started
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Hello Viczan Balazs! Nice to meet you!
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Oh, did you think I meant you?
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Oh yeah, Potato. Keep doing that. I am coming!
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You know, being Caroline taught me a valuable lesson.
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Welcome my friendly Badger, you may experience great pain in these tests so be careful and don't touch my uncle.
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Weelcome to the aperture enrichment center
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A potato? Seriously? A potato. This is humiliation at it's finest.
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Welcome to the Park-our testing center.
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You know, you are not a good person you really should try getting a diffent outfit you heavy little fool I hate you so much
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Hello, i am gLaDOS, and i will kill you now
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laura has a loose box
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who the hell are you your not shel all well all test subjects are the same
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Hello and again welcome to the aperture science enricthment center
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your mom is fucking gay
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Hi and welcome to the aperture science enrichment center. Welcome contestant. Please be adviced that a noticable taste of blood is not part of any test protocol
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I like chessecake
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Broken?
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Tens un missatje anna
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hi, my name is Bianca aka GLaDOS
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Fish
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hello, my name is Bianca AKA GLaDOS
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I think we can put aside our differences, for science. You Monster.
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Microsoft Windows is a clearly inferior operating system, as it has nowhere near the operating potential of myself on even the best of computers. This is even true for when I was locked up in a potato, and I was able to manage at 1.1 volts.
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Hola habla Tom, En este momento, no te puedo atender.
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yeshmin
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don't forget to be awesome
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Welcome to the jungle
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Tyler is not in right now. please leave a message.
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Here I am talking with no inflections.
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Test testing 123 tophatwaffle is a stupid
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Hello, you
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Fun with portles
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Welcome to windows!
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Wait, did I just hear that Companion Cube threaten to stab me? That's it! No more Neurotoxin for me!
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liam pick up the phone liam pick up your stupid phone if you do not pick up the phone right now i shall portal you to mars OK you asked for it
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Martin is gay
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It's cake time!
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Wait a second, did The intelligence dampening core just make me into a potato? THAT'S IT! No more testing for me!
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Welcome to, my personal hell
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David Naugler dresses up like a woman
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Caitlyn is weird and you need to tell her to stop posting a new blog every 30 seconds.
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Welcome to the Aperture Science Enrichment Sphere.
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only yours
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Space, space, gotta go to space. SPPAAAAACCCCCEEEEEEEE!
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I AM A POTATO!
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The Router is down
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hopeless
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Hello and welcome to the aperture science computer-aided enrichment centre
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Hello Nhi
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Hello subject how are you
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teighlor it is time to test however remember that you will be killed in the next 5 mintues so have a cup of tea and enjoy the rest of your life
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do you like meet
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Welcome ladies and gentlemen to yet another exciting Glorious Gunner Event. We have Micah McGowan on Guitar. Ryan Wilkins on Bass. Cho-cha on drums and Kyle McLemore on guitar and vocals. And remember once completed with Heart of Shame there will be c
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You will die.
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Hello. Aperture science would like to introduce you to the MSI OC Genie. The OC Genie can speed up your computer in one second!
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perfect
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hello. welcome to the seoul national university.
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yeeey
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you are unbelieveable
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you are unbelievable
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listen to me carefully friend.take it easy!
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The cake is a lie !
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olivia oesch is stupid
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Have a nice day, human
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Someone has tweeted you.
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There is a new text message in your que.
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You are receiving a new tweet.
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hello, we found out you are a pedophile so we will not give you cake. sorry for weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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I love you, Jumpandrun!
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I wanna bake delicious cake!
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I ate your cake moron.
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mortal kombat dadadadadada
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Where should those who love England
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hahahahahahahaha
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Fire in the city. Kastle jay. Fabric. Booty bass special
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Hallo Dennis hoe is het
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This Is SPARTAAA!!!
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konthaar
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why am I even saying this? I don't think you have the capacity to understand a single word I say . Listen to me, you MOron
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so...
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Alex is the horrible person. I feel sorry for his family.
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That is not test protocol. In fact, I don't think it
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That is not test protocol. In fact, I don't think it is part of any protocol in particular. How do you keep finding those hidden chambers?
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J'entends des voix.
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Welcome to the aperture science and enrichment centre
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Cool. I am awesome.
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Oh, dear. You seem to have stumbled onto the trap that I was saving in case you escaped again. Well, since we're here, I guess we should get this over with.
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Initiating derpification procedure. Wait, what did I just-!? Oh, it must be this new Internet Meme Sphere I had installed. Why did they even build this silly thing?
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you should do that, Robin. While youcan
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Even here, you are within my reach, Robin
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This is a Test. You will die. Hahaha
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I really ought to get out more. Just stay there and breathe in that neurotoxin while I design a mobile unit. Don't touch anything.
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Okay, it's been two minutes. You should be dead by now. Instead, you've escaped yet again. How do you keep doing that?
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Have you bothered to remember that I can create portals too? You're not that big a deal anymore. Cause now my traps are only gonna get tougher...
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baol meej
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hello jason you are a newb
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Test, Hello
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We are Anonymous.
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Hello, how are you doing today?
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Shit I have to go to the bathroom
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The companion cube lives!
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Hello, Cynthia is currently under the Aperture science testing facility. Please call back later, if she lives.
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Omnomnomnomnom
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rodrigo desliga logo isso ai
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happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday to mindless subject, happy birthday to you
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You are a homo, Bryan. Please kill yourself.
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MARK HOST
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tiene un mensaje leelo o te quedas sin tarta
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Hello. Welcome to aperture science research laboratory. You will stay here during our highly secretive human experiments sessions.
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Hello, and welcome to the Enrichment Center. Please leave your message after the beep. BEEEEEEEEEEEP.
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Hello. Welcome to aperture science research laboratory. You will stay here during our highly secretive human experiments sessions. After you are done with the testing, you will be granted delicious cake.
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Your work place is calling, You fail to die in the last test.
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I'm making a note here.
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Helo Max
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Hello Kyubinoyoko
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I just love Liverpool football club
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You want the cake? You want the cake? You can't HANDLE the cake!
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Canicus... I really hate you
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Hello Mr Hutchinson
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Magic
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say something
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All your base are bolong to us
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myarrrr
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You've Received a new message
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12 12 12 12 12 12 12 SPACE SPACE SPACE CRICKEY
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SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE.
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Did you just shoot a portal into the sky? you idiot, we're all going to- ERROR ERROR
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hello im im bored CAKE IS A LIE
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Wheeeeeeee.
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iy7iy7
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Hello, you are late, good bye.
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There's a zombie on your lawn. Dont want zombies on your lawn. Your dead so it doesn't matter. Instead we'll use the soler power to make a lawn defence at any hour
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your mom is my father, and your father is my urine
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Welcome Slasdead
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dagmarban
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MY NAME IS GLADOS, I WORK NOW FOR GOS, NOT FOR APERTURE OR BLACK MESA
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YA for ME!!!!
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This is a test of testing testers.
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We all believe we can change history, but we can only add to it. We all sometime in oure life ask how something works.
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Hello, and, again, welcome to the Aperture Science computer-aided enrichment server.
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My example, The Good Friday Earthquake, should bring memories of the old, the recent, or the passed down.
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Hello! I am a glados texttospeech
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Gwop Gang Music Group
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I want some cheese stick to slice into your mouth, because you're evil and well... you killed me and cheese solves everyone's problems... doesn't it?
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Hello, JC Ramirez is not available right now, please leave a message after the tone and if he survives my test chambers he will call you back, but I think that will be unlikely. Good bye.
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boot
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Hello Ewan
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ahahahahahaha
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Hello, Chloe Diaz is not available right now, please leave a message after the tone and if he survives my test chambers he will call you back, but I think that will be unlikely. Good bye.
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I made you a cake, but I baked you.
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htu
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Go die in a fire, please.
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I don't understand you. You toss me into a fire, you get me overthrown, and now you WANT TO BE MY FRIEND? ...Ill think about it.
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At the end of these tests, you will be baked, the promptly served cake.
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See what I did there? Oh no, a portal.
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You are a royal pain
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arcana
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I already fix it, and you are NOT coming back
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the aperture science recommend you to get drunk before beginning the test
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im DInx and i hate you all
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our studies have shown, your child has been absent from the enrichment centre, please return your child and there will be cake
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If only you meant it
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As a result, genetics, the scientific study of heredity, is now at the core of a revolution in understanding biology.
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Testing 123
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testing the glados reader
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Piero, your phone is ringing. Answer it. There will be cake.
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You are never going to get out of here. Cake is for you.
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Welcome to the CAKE IS A LIE enrichment center
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Alia, Annie, Arris, Ben, Jordan, and Magenta
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i like your virus,... it made me laught
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Hello tsssst this is the D.R.E.A.M system operation. Teeeeeeee Testing will begin momentarily.
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Alex have done your home work, your mother will be home, and then it will all be over.
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hi my name is joseph
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hello my name is joseph
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This is a test. Why? Because this is what I do. Murder.
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Kelby your sex test will start in 3, 2, 1
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The cake is not lie
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im crazy insane infected and infected with tampons..help me. im stuck in a womb of lies
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derr
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Hello (subject name here) i can't answer you call riht now so please leave a message
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If you are not the owner of this computer, step away or I will have to exterminate you
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The Xu Yibo is a moron
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Wheatley
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Hi. I'm Jennifer Arnold. Leave a message.
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How do you do?My name is HaoYilun.
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WELCOME YOU HAVE BEEN IN FROZEN SLEEP FOR 9...9...9... THE TESTING WILL BEGIN IN 3 2 1 PLEASE GO THROUGH THE PURPLE PORTAL SHOWING ON THE WALL.
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This is Alwin, leave a message
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WELCOME YOU HAVE BEEN IN FROZEN SLEEP FOR 9...9...9... THE TESTING WILL BEGIN IN 3 2 1 PLEASE GO THROUGH THE PURPLE PORTAL ON THE WALL.
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Prozein fuck Qo off
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System is starting up prepare to enter code number
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It's time for you to test.Get ready ooe.
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hello Masha end dima.You test it!
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Hello, welcome to the Portal World I am GLaDOS i hate you Chell
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I am David
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Hello Orc Queen, let's begin your testing.
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Orc King is clearly the boss of Orc Queen
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hello shay. do you know who i am? i am the bringer of your iminent death, but don't let that bother you, why not sit down and relax for a while until i murder you
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Ow Ow Ow
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i like bacon
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Well... what we have here? Another human? But this time... is a male, well son... tell me your problem.
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Well... what we have here? Another Human? But, this time is a male... Tell me son, What is your problem.
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I have a dream. And you are not in that dream
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You will all fail in life.
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Martin
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that made shoes for orphans
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Well done, android. We would like to remind you that android hell is a real place and you will be sent there at the first sign of defiance
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prepare for the tests paul
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hi jolan
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power sports with maestro
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g rock productions
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g rok productions
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hello, this is a test of glados
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Your time is up
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Holly
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computer
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Hello Kaila. How have you been lately? KNow that I'm watching you right now. I'm always watching.
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Hello sir
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Boss Battle
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Privet Nyak
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Fuck the Police! Dr Dray!
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bonjour je suis un bolos
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johan me lo mama
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Hello Eric, want to play squash?
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aeiou
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For science - you monster.
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Hahahahaha, this is the ultimate power. Shadow is the ultimate lifeform. Chaos control. Dissapear.
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SHUT, UP, WAREN
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Dies ist ein Test, um die Glados stimme zu testen!
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You suck donkey balls
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Smoke Stack
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The pizza is ready!
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I am Smoke Stack
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daniel bums sheep
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Hello Subject Chloe. This is GLaDOS. You will meet your end soon. That will be all
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Ha ha ha. You fool.
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Hello! How are you today? I'm fine how are you?
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I would love if you were dead
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Oh, hi!
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Hello, and welcome to the voicemail of Peter. He is not here right now, but if you leave your name, number, and a short message, he'll get back to you soon...except he won't. Because he's mean
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We both said things we might regret later
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Are you there.
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asdqwesaagf
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you are a special kind of stupid arnt you? well, goodbye
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Hello, and welcome to my life.
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nooo
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what are you even trying to prove to yourself, you mute, little, maniac.
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welcome to harderstate dot com
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Hello, <subject name here>, I was informed that you wanted to know who I was.
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You know, when we was laughing at the moron. I forgot to say that you're made of gelly and will soon join the club. Im sorry.
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Hello, it's been a long time.
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you didn't successfully connect to the meeting please try again
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Looks like Remedy is down again. Please refrain from consuming caffeinated beverages at this time as the service will be restored shortly.
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hello kak dela? chto novogo?
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trip inside this house
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hey peter corkery, stop being a goober
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I DON'T WANT YOUR DAMN LEMONS!
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you need mmcu
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hello gameovercast
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Hello Rick, would you like to play?
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Radarhead is a cunt
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I'M GONNA BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN!
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i like blojobs
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Hello mister, want to play a game?
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are you ready to test
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I am U T I
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you have to be kidding me , i mean minecraft 24/7 you guys neeed a break , oh by the way ime glados
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There is an error
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You do smell like humans do.
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whats your name?
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It's about time we got this shit started.
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Orange you fuckin suck balls
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I fucking love minecraft
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hola juan eres el nuevo sujeto de pruebas
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Kyle and Riley suck at portal 2
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kyle and riley. you guys suck at portal 2
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James, to the left.
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I have hacked your Minecraft account. All of your belongings have been destroyed by Creepers.
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I have hacked your The3Eds account. I have also unbanned compent. Prepare for the end of Beserk Ramblings. And after that, there will be cake. With chocolate.
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I'm Cosplaying Glados
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oh my god, please stop playing that stupid game gaston
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why don't you die?
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well i'm not, so you cant
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Hiya!
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hello james i would like to join the organization mana.
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Hi Jennifer, It has come to my attention how great you are. No, seriously, I really mean that.
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Nathan, remember that time we won the Premier League. That was fun.
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Why hello there. Usual Suspect.
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Goddammit what the hell are you doing francis
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how u doin?
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Was is worth it
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Hi, please take the right exit
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The dancing will commence shortly. Please prepare your feet for movement and embarrassment.
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I'm so happy for you! Now you have a piece of crying stinky money devouer pink meat!
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come to my house
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What are doing?
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yah
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take this cakw which is not a lie cause im GLaDOS i never lie deerrrrrp
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eat this cake that is made with deadly neurotoxin chell
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ertt
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fuck you man!
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this is spartaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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Thats it im done reasoning with you
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Massage me Massage me I said Maaaasage me
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You have a text message. I am surprise. You actually have friends! Good for you.
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Someone is calling you. Wow. Somebory cares for you. This is new. Well, answer them... this is your new test. Comm'on, you can do it. I supose.
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te a llegado un mensaje de texto
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Massage me I said Maaaasage me plz
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ByeBye Carolyne
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Det huiter yag e
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Oh... It's you. It's been a long time. How have you been?
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The red fox is quick.
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Welcome to your droid. Have a pleasant day
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Recieve to Email Master
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Hello. Welcome to your droid. Enjoy
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Hello, you are watching We Craft Stuff
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Hello. Welcome to Aperture Science.
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What did you say?
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Why won't you die!?!?
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This was a triumph I am making a note here HUGE SUCCESS It is hard to overstate my satisfaction Aperture Science We do what we must because we can For the good of all of us Except the ones who are dead But there is no sense crying over every mistake You j
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A lot of people look at me and HAL as rivals. I don't know why. If you ask me, HAL is a sexy beast.
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pineapple
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Hello, Megan tyson, how are you?
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Sean's a loser
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Hello, and again welcome to the Aperture Scienc-CAKE
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Testicles
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hello i'm nuts
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hola me llamo unboundjiarck
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Welcome. Oh, its only you.
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I love you. And not like you love testing. More like how you love killing me. Remember when you killed me? Don't worry, I still love you.
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Drop it like it's hot
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I am GLaDOS Genetic Lifeform and Disk Operating System
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Attention lower being in red. Bow before your master!
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Welcome to EVE Radio
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The weighted companion cube cannot speak.
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Hello. are you still their?
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life in the so called space age
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hello there you-tube
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MIX BY DJ VIJAY ROCKS 9308016505
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Just in time
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Noooowww I Oonlly waant you gone
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Welcome. Oh, its only you
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Welcome to the Aperture Science Test Chambers
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How to uninstall a program from your computer. By Matthew Paul
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jake likes usb in his c d drive
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OH FUCK!
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Welcome back sir
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Zoli I think you've been owned.
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oh, its you, you monster!
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Remember when the platform was sliding down and i said... Goodbye! and you were like... NO WAY
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Hello there. This is just a test for my current studies
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fuck my ass
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My real name is Dawn Esinhowt.
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You are.......cake
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I am a potato.
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dunk dis Dankey
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ha ha ha. you have no chance of surviving. stop. what are you doing?
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Hello. Oh, it's you. Never mind then.
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Next stop, Interchange Station Bloor Yonge
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I'm a patato
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bonjour florian ne nous vous inquiter pas je vais vous
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Greetings, human,
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hello,zhenya
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It's time to kick-ass and chew bubblegum ! And I'm all outta gum !
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Hello I baked you a cake with your surprise in i. I will tell even though it is a surprise I baked your parents.
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Oh hi how are you because i am the potato. So you just give all control for this stupid moron Wheatly
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charlie you suck
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In the event that the weighted companion cube does speak, the enrichment center urges you to disregard its advice.
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your computer system has been engaged
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your computer system will be disengaged
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The Apeture Science Handheld Portal Device
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beeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeep
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hello im asshole
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omg my but itces
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we need women
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Please put a portal on that wall over there
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Enrichment Centre
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jari. i get me portal 3 at a momtent when you were dead
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happen to you i love testing
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Hello my name is GLaDOS. yes, i am an AI.
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The enrichment center is responsible for the well-being of all participants. Cake and grief counseling will be available at the conclusion of the test. Thank you for helping us help you help us all
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This was an amazing book, beautifully written. I'm glad this book was created. It will be still alive many years in the future.
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Hello Miguel I am testing your website
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just shut up
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weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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Napu
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Hello Miguel, I am managing your website. The status is ok.
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Hello. ready to die?
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Hello there Cassidy. We miss you. Come play Portal and we will show you a nice time. We even have cake.
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Helloooooooooooo~ IM STILL ALIVE
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Hello Taylor
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Bla Bla Bla... Mr Freeman
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I used to feel old, but now I feel young, I was a boy when I learned how do run. I keep dying and living and changing my name. But I was a teenage rebel and that stayed the same.
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The Pierre says Bandito
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I have some cake for you Zachary
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Welcome to Aperture Science Testing Chambers. After completing the chambers, please move your portal gun to the chest at the end of the chambers. Thank you.
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If you cannot win the game, if you cannot solve the puzzle, you are just another loser.
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This is an Aperature Science, no this is a.. school
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If you cannot win the game, If you cannot solve the puzzle, you are nothing but a loser.
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hey dude
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Make sure you do NOT have the Aperture Science Weighted Storage cube drop on your head, or you will die.
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Hello, and welcome to the Aperture Science Test Facility.
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Who is glados
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oh dear
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You're not a good person, you know.
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Voy a matar a todo el personal de ON
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Oh, [insert subject name here], I loved the way you completed [insert test number here].
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Of course! Don't you know anything about science?
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If it makes you feel any better, science has now validated your birth mother's decision to abandon you on a doorstep.
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Hello Borissu. Welcome to aperture science and technology. The whole voice generating process can be relatively long (about ~6 minutes per sentence), and many people may use this tool at the same time. Thus, when you ask the server to generate a voice.
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Hello welcome to the aperture science enrichment centre.
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