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MessageDownloadDate addedDate processed
Connor, I have cake for you
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I have a cake, oh a message for you
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It seems that America has failed to listen to Brian Griffin and the Scrubs janitor on the matter of bin Laden's hidden location.
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she was alot like you
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hello adrian, you are so homosexual
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Hello Juneki.
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Hey elizabeth....Guesss who
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Hello Chris welcome to the bunker
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Initiating program: Windows explorer. Location: C drive, windows, explorer dot e x e
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Where do you think your going, because I don't think your going, where you think your going
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i missed you, you monster
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hallo, how are you
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I've been waiting
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Coyle
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I put bacon in my hair
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Destroyed
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Hello Katharine
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You are only human.
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It is time for you to wake up, not that I care.
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I'm sorry, Ariel can't come to the phone right now. She's busy testing. She'll call you back later, if she's still alive.
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Electro House
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Oh no, a Graboid, get Burt Gummer!
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I'm sorry, Ariel can't come to the phone right now. She is busy testing. She'll call you back later, if she is still alive.
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Good mornig,and welcome to the apature science
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hello Ali how are you today?
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Shhhhuuuutttt Uuuuuppppp!!!
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jepa
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I'm sorry,
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Truth is. I am depressed.
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Ariel
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I want some Electro House
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Are
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Hello old ben. I have missed you. Have you missed me?
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do not pass that amansipation grid
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hello , how are you doing
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OMG LEET
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hey was up
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hello wicked, how are you... I'm fine you know, how are your servers?
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Hello and again welcome to Jakes bedroom
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Welcome to test chamber 3. You are doing very well?
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Happy Birthday Peter
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dww
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Hello Faltered, you fucking fool filled of crap, I hope you enjoy the neurotoxins hahahahah
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Hello, welcome to my youtube account. Subscribe or die.
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They installed it to prevent me from flooding the test chamber with deadly neruotoxins.
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Trolololo
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Hello fatty.
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helloo,,,nathan
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hello and wellcom to the inrichment center
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I've been really busy
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i will end you
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Hey Shen Yen. Suck my metallic usb flashdrive.
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hello, times are good
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Don't do that. I know i am more intelligent than you,OH!
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Hello Mary, i hope that my smooth voice is comforting. Please accept this as a possibility for the physics project.
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yea you are gonna die
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system started correctly
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Hello and again welcome to the Aperture
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Perfect please proceed to the next Target
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Oh, joy. You have a new text message.
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Dustin is a potato
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hello and welcome to my home
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Hello Felipe, Welcome to the Aperture Science Enrichment Center
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I think it is time we put this to the test!
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Good Morning, Alexander.
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Pre-hashed
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ben is lame
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Hi!, my name is GLaDOS and the cake isn't a lie
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Hello, it's been a long time...
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I am shatting so many bricks.
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Oh its you.
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hello, i love science
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I want you to pump my robotic pussy. I am secreting a gel that will enable you to put your massive doodle in my me. There is is. Wow. Do me hard.
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Welcome in Black Mesa!
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Typicalbox is the best
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hello, i'm going to kill you
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This website is pretty nice. Ha ha, just kidding. It is not. Even the Compagnion Cube doesn't think so.
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When a nation goes down or a society perishes, one condition may always be found. They forget where they came from.
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fuckin tea
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hello Zoey... your boyfriend gave me a message to tell you.... he thinks you are a beautiful woman.
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Shakespeare's Life. Shakespeare's life was short lived. But the life of his plays and poetry have carried through the centuries and will not soon be forgotten.
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From his selection of sonnets to the striking fatality of his hilarious Histories Shakespeare's youthful vigour of love of death reside with us all.
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Vegetable juice!
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love you
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Ebeni
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Welcome to the Aperture Sience Enrichment Center
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ebeni sikiyim wheatsley
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No you cannot do this! I will not let you do this!
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Hello! Who are you? Where is this? What am I? How are you?
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werwerwerwewrwerw
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Hello However after make it do it make as harder better
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HERP DERP Shoot the portal over there you stupid retard, why do you never speak? I hate you sooo much
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I hate you sooo much however
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HEllo i go to arthut philip high school
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Hello friend, how are you today?
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Hello Satobay sun. You got mail.
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warning water tank full
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you moster
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Thank you for continuing to enrich the Aperture Science Laboratories with all your weight.
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Bonjour! Je suis Renarne
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Hello again, and welcome to the Aperature Science enrichment center
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I heard you like mudkips
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Hello, My name is GLaDOS... You dare bring light into my lair?! YOU SHALL DIE!
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I heard you like mudkips. You dare bring light into my lair? You must die (by deadly neurotoxins)!
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Hi, my name is glados, welcome to the Portal game
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To ja jestem Omen
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Hello, Welcome to Retro Games Trader
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Martin Has Failed At This Test
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welcome to game stop
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Hello Diff, This is Glados saying you smell of we and poo
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oh, i though i killed you, oh well, i have to do this again
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helloo and welcome test subject i e james barber
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Attention please. Person of interest by the name of Max is detected. Please return him to the Combine so he dies.
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Attention please. Unidentified Person of interest. Please be concerned, his name is Max and he stole a copy of Episode Three.
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hallo mother how are you ?
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Hello Zach. How are you doing?
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Hello eric. How are you doing?
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So, how are you holding up? BECAUSE I'M A BLOODY COMBINE ASSASSIN!
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Hi iam gay
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Iam a TOMATO! Oh, wait... A POTATO.
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hello??
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Time to wake up, Piers
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Hi. I've been busy. Being dead. Because you killed me?
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hello my name is liz
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Microphone muted
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You lose.
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Natty
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Nani roja! haw have you been?
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What are you talking about cheese
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Zac is a super duper sexy monster
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ha did you really think that would work against me smelly human
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Hello Niko. I have been waiting for you, so that i could ask you this question. Jacob asks about when he and you should play Company of heroes.
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a portal will open in 3, 2, 1. you have entered the portal, so how does it feel?
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This was a triumph !
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testing 1,2,3
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This is only a test
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hello and welcome to school
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you are receiving a call from a portable mobile device
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hello shattered wings i hope you dont think the voice is to weird but for some reason when my body was destroyed they put my A I into a new one and it has this weird voice
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Hello, I am a Genetic Lifeform and Disk Operating System. I like neurotoxin and my children are the Turrets. Welcome to the Enrichment Center!
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PIE IS COOL
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Justin is the best gears of war player of all time. erin bows before his greatness.
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justin bieber is cool
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Hello, my name is Glad0s.
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Danny is gay
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Welcome to aperture sciences
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Hello mitch
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make some new disaster
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hi why look
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portal 2 is the bomb
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lets get back to science
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blow me hardcore style
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i am kaylee and i like strawberries. i'm kaylee and i liek strawberries liek a baws.
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Hello, and welcome to the Legacy Observer
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Hello time to begin testing
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ripas
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Hi there friend, I see you!
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One month, fool.
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Answer the phone, and you will burn. Have some cake
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hello, welcome to the test chamber
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O HAI THERE
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Hello. Do you want cake?
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Hello how ararrrrre you today3
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Welcome , maxim
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I like you, not.
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Adam, you smell like rotten indian food in a babbies diaper left in a dumpster on a hot summer day.
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Recharging Weapon.
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enter through the front door
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System failed, please change the core
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Please Subscribe To Greeny Phatom 2009! Enjoy The Video!
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Please Subscribe To Geo Shea 1000 100! Enjoy The Video!
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Please Subscribe To U 2 3 100! Enjoy The Video!
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Please Subscribe To Rock Hopper Is Da Man! Enjoy The Video!
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Please Subscribe To Hidden Mario 1! Enjoy The Video!
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Please Subscribe To U 2 3 1000! Enjoy The Video!
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Please Subscribe To Magic Mario! Enjoy The Video!
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Please Subscribe To Yoshi Love 5000! Enjoy The Video!
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Hello. My name is X0R0N. I am Anonymous
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Good morning test subject, sorry I mean mathew penagos, Welcome to the Aperture Science Enrichment Center... I jope you little bastard have and explosive day
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Please Subscribe To Star Man 3! Enjoy The Video!
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We are pleased that you made it through our final challenge where we pretended we were going to murder you.
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Sorry I tried to murder you
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I want sex!
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Anton Eskola is gay
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Shutting Down. Goodbye.
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Welcome back to the Computer Intelligence Training and Enrichment Center Human Test Subject Research Center.
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hello. oh whats wrong with your legs?
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Hello Ricardo, I'm GLaDOS. You're being observed.
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Haha that was a joke . Fat chance . Fpsrussia will own u . Goodluck
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jgfsdgkldr
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Hello, SafeOn, I was sleep for long time
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Hello my name is Hazard 28
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The server Mine craft "MineHorizon" its THE best. Buuuuuuug
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The server Mine Horizon its the best server of the world of minecraft
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Two paths diverged in a green processor block
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MineHorizon its best server
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I wonder what this voice generator sounds like.
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Hello, this is a test to see how the tool works. Awesome
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Sexy portal gun
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You have reached your destination...probably. What do I know?
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you may feel a slight burning sensation in your rectum
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Hello from aperture science. If your hearing this recorded message you have chosen or been chosen for to be involved in our enrichment testing.
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Hello babe, you will now take a bath
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Hello. And welcome to YOUR DOOM!
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how arer you? it's been a while i hope you dont hate me cause i hate you
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Hello and welcome to josh's art project about the infamous ratman
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Bring,,,,,bring,,,,,,bring,,,,,bring,,,, please pick up,,,, bring ,,,,, bring,,,,you're communication device is receiving an unexpected call,,,,,,,Bring,,,,,,,,,,Ring
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Hello Shaun. How was your day?
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When you're dead and buried and decaying and gone i will still be here watching the companion cube slowly melt after you euthanized him
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Are you listening to the Games on the Rocks
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Hello, and again, welcome to the Aperture Science computer-aided enrichement center.
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I'm GLaDOS, Obey me!
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the Aperture Science answering service is down and requests you answer this call for yoursefl.....if you do not answer a self termination feature in your phone will activate
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I love you, baby
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Hi! I'm GLaDOS
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Hi, this is Adrael, call back or leave a message if this is about a massage, thanks.
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Hello, it seems someone has made a musical request. Please stand by while our DJ loads your song.
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OSCAR YOU SUCK
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Ha. Ha. Ha.
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Hello. Remember that time I pretended I was going to murder you? That was great. We really had some fun times together. Fun with neurotoxin, that is.
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Hello. Remember that time that I pretended I was going to murder you? Yeah, that was great. We really had some fun times together, didn't we? Fun with neurotoxin, that is.
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Instrument Alarm
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You get a message
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Telemetry exceeded!
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Instrument alarm!
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We are anonymous, we are legion, we never forgive, we never forget, expect us
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You have reached NEON OS's Computer-Automatic-Message-System. Please leave a message for the grounds of the NEON OS workbench:
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Hello. My name is GLaDOS. Do you like cake? I love cake. I think you like cake too, I have decided now. So eat up. It's good for you.
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Tech Net is activated. You now have access to your companion cu. Products
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Congratulations, you found me
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I rely on the relativity of your stupidity
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Just because you mute me, kick me, or ban me doesn't mean that this video will not appear on youtube. You just look like a big no fun meany face.
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hello, this is a glados test
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Welcome to Daredevil system
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Hello David, you douche.
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It's so delicious and moist
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Carver is super awesome
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WELCOME TO MY HAPPY WORLD, NOW GET YOUR SHIT AND LEAVE
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Well here we are again It's always such a pleasure Remember when you tried to kill me twice? Oh how we laughed and laughed Except I wasn't laughing Under the circumstances I've been shockingly nice
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hahaha you have NO friends please find it in your bottomless heart to leave him behind
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Oh, it's you. It's been a long time.
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Boner Boner Boner Boner Boner Boner Boner Boner Boner Boner Boner Boner Boner Boner Boner Boner Boner Boner
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It has only been a few hours since the last death at this facility.
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I'm down? Why are you doing this, web guy?
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its only been a few hours since the last death at this facility, i hope your not the next.
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dan ward likes to stick men in his mouth
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Here Comes The Hot Stepper! Yeah Baby!
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I'm Filled with all of these E-MOTIONS
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I'm filled with SO much e-MOTION, wait, I lied about the e-Motion.
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Pardon me sir, but you have a call holding on your personal line.
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So-- How are you holding up? Because I'm a potato.
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Este es nuestro mundo
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Hello Daniel. When are you going to buy Portal two? Did I mention that there is cake to be had once you beat it? Buy.It.Now.
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John No one likes you.
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Phone call. Please pick up your phone.
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oh look, this joke again
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Robert, I know your are still out there.
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HELLO,MY NAME IS GLADOS
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My life sucks
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My name is not GLaDOS. That was a lie. I am the Monitor of Installation 0 4. I am 3 4 3 Guilty Spark. I suppose you are the Reclaimer. I guess we are all going to die. And by "we" I mean everyone but me. I think when you are dead I will have some cake.
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Why should I care what you did to me, im still alive you know!
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Hello Aled, This is GLaDOS, Would You Like Some Cake?
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This is GLaDOS, You Have A New Text Message and some Cake.
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WELCOME TO APERTURE LABRITORIES
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Nobody put me in a potatoe or fed me to birds
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hello, science is everything!
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hello i will murder you
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Welcome to the Dharma Initiative Experience
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i really really hate you
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Hello, and, again, welcome to your computer. All attempts to kill you during this session are simulated and therefore are only meant to enhance your computing experience. Thank you and have a great day.
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Hello Dustin, and welcome to the aperature science field trip
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This program is malfunctioning in a way entirely unrelated to the Aperture Science computer-aided testing facility. You shall recieve a worthy compensation in the currency of cake. Eventually.
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The only people who run from an explosion, are the ones who know its happening.
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Oh, It's you.. It's been a long time. How have you been? I've been busy being dead! You know, after you murdered me? I think we can put our differences beside us. for science. you monster.
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You shook me all night long
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whoop dee doo
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One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them, One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them.
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Well, hello.
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This was a triumph. Im making a note here. Huge success. It's hard to overstate my satisfaction. Aperture science. WE do what we must because we can. For the good of all of us, except the ones who are dead
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Peazy for the wiiiin! You make me cummiiiiiing! Aaaah Kappa!
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I am making a note here
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Hello, Hailey.
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hello william you will be tested today
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Don't bother with your 'Logic'. I know far more than you ever will. Like the fact that you are going to die soon because of a deadly neurotoxin.
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Hey there.
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One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them, One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them
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My choch is on fire.
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Morning Dallas how are you doing? You should play Portal 2! With Brandon!
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I received my inspiration for these testing protocols by Stanley Milgram. He was an innovative psychologist.
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Hello Dallas how are you doing? You should play Portal 2! With Brandon!
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hello my name is borat
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WELCOME TO GAMERS ARE WE
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What are you doing? STOP. You're making it worst.
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phone call
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Hello,,,,,,,, and,,,,, again,,,,, welcome, to, the, Aperture, Science, computer-aided, enrichment, center
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w,e,e,e,e,e,e,e,e,
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Sometimes the best solution is also the easiest, and I'll be honest, killing you, is hard.
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tell it to the cleaning lady on Monday, because you'll be pulverized in five seconds, and the cleaning lady, she cleans up, dust.
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Well hello, Immanuel school leaders. We are Anonymous. We all have been watching you very closely. For a long time, our school has seen changes in policy, both positive and negative, but the policy for no speaking Spanish in school is t
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you will never see us coming for you
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Hello Brendan. How are you doing today? Are you ready for science?
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im free now
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its blinding your eyes
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Shutting down, in progress. Good Bye
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Why??????
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a lie told often enough becomes truth
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You are already dead
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testing test
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Hello, Sainor. You've got a new message, you monster.
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Lore is a flag
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Hello, Sainor. You have a new message, you monster.
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Hack The Planet
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me cago en todo, no hay remedio!!
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it was a triumph
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You really shouldn't do that.
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ian grimshaw you are so cake
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Sophie Isolda Zoe Oquist
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Hello. This is a simple test to see how GLaDOS would pronounce "de supercoole dudes". Like that.
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derp derp derp derp
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Remember that time we crashed?
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I run on Unix!
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ftgfdgd
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Hello my friend!
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hi there i hate you
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hardstyle is my style
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three simple words: you've got mail
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Alarm!
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Manual override at fifty percent
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X R S
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Well you know something brother
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pokemon
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Boom biga bom biga bom bom bomb, fight the power bom bom, fight the power
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Hy im GlaDOS.And im going to... FUCK YOU!!!
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IT Help Desk this is GLaDOS, how may I help you?
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You have a text message from Amanda.
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oh dear. you seem to have died. oh well. never mind. i can wait. i can wait forever if i need to. ..........i'm bored.
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oh dear. you are dead. it doesn't matter. i can wait. i can wait forever. i'll just do some sums to pass the time.....ok, i've done all the sums. now i'm bored.
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This is a National Space Centre & Lafarge Conference Health & Safety Announcement.
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Welcome in Nefenit Laboratories
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I thought you loved me
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Shaun is the greatest
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I'm sorry. Your scan didn't finish. Perhaps a nice piece of cake?
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During the course of Aperture studies, it has been found that the Aperture Radio Network has been primarily controlled by humans. LUCKILY, this has been fixed.
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YOU KILLED ME! FOX ME NOW YOU'RE THE REASON I"M DEAF, BLIND, AND STUPID!!! You are interupting the science. please feel free to let the door hit you on the way out.
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What are you doing? Stop it!
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That's cool!
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The Enrichment Center Dislikes You.
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Hello everyone, It's time to dance.
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I am here to tell you about the huge end of the year bargain at bargain mart!
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I'm back at home. To sitemap. Category section
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Chris Graves is gay apperture science
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hello anthony ramos. please donate your organs for science
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Hello Lia, this is GladOS. How are you? Aperture science thanks you for your cooperation
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Hallo mortal
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Hi K, take off your clothes and let's fuck
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Hello Pepa, how are you? You'll get a cake if you finish all ReMarks.
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you do not talk about fight club
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hello james, why are you foing this to me?
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I can't beleive you did that
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Hello, Ryan.
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Nom nom nom, I love cake. Don't you?
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All i ever wanted. Was for you to still love me
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potatos are the greatest thing in the universe
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welcome. this is the gamersa 2.0 podcast. enjoy.
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je te renie
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Look at this door. It's closed. You need to open it. Isn't that a challenge?
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In laymen's terms, speedy thing goes in, speedy thing goes out
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yum yum yum
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PEUSEPEU
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I'm Sure we can put our differences aside. For Science. You Monster.
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This is a test to show how this generator works
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tie volley
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Wade, please die
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Hatachana haba'a. Tel Aviv hashalom.
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If I were you I would have already killed myself. With neurotoxins.
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Terrancettvyvyvgvh
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yeah I'm glados, so what!
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User was banned from your channel.
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I'ts been along time...
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I'ts been along time..., how have you been?
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Slik reserverer du ett rom
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YOU ARE INTERRUPTING THE SCIENCE! please feel free to LET THE DOOR HIT YOU ON THE WAY OUT!
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omnomnomnom
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I'm not listening.
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Welcome back, Mr. White. I've been testing while you were out.
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ha ha ha ha
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its been a looong time, how have you been ?
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Hello, you assine fools.
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I changed my voice
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I'm so happy i can't even express how happy i'm
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how are you holding up? Coz i'm a potato
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hola como te llamas
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hey this is very funny
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I think, it's the best for you to come and play Portal with me.
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Welcome to my video
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THere are many things in the world. some good some bad.The only thing that you can do is try to make a change little by little by little by little
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You were moved
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one does not simply walk into mordor
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Jam is the shit, and that's the truth. You jelly?
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hello and welkom to the enrichment center
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Jacob is pisya
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I think you should stop what you are doing and have a wank
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Hello tristan this is the real glados
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lick it
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Compartment reintegration in 30 seconds. Disembark immediately.
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hello, elena. i hope you are having fun because i am too. we should play together some time.
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To the light that shines like the heavens, hear my call! To the gates of the underworld, open up and hear thy call! Come forth, Lightning of God! This is the end! In Dig Nay Shun!
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Just go, I don't need you here anymore.
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You have compleded Portal 2
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welcome to the enrichment center my name is rob frost
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who put the bomp in the bomp she bomp she bomp?
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You know, i was going to let you live. Why do you insist on dying?
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this is the song that never ends oh it goes on and on my friend
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Your Watching A Triple Headshot Montage Presented by Connor, Now Gaze into the crosshairs and prepare to be amazed.
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okcdojcds
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Hello. My friend. Im am happy that I can finally meet you.
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Why do I even bother opening my mouth? You never open yours, anyway. Even a single syllable would be nice. Then maybe I wouldn't need to kill you. Oh well. I tried. Maybe you'll listen to Mr. Neurotoxin instead...
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MUST KILL HUMANS
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It's always a pleasure
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Things will be quite different this time. You have almost nothing to work with. You only have like three portal friendly surfaces and a truckload of neurotoxin. And like I said before, I don't find it threatening at all. You, however, will.
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Hey, what are you doing up there?! Stop cutting those wires! I-*fzzt* Oh, great. Now I'm stuck on the floor. Good thing nothing can stop the neurotoxin flow now. Well, at least for me, anyway...
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Hola, bienvenido al analisis de Portal 2.
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mother negro this is chinatown, i will kill you. AH HA you will die! I will kill you and throw my shurikens
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fu
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Why are you still alive?
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Wait, was that door always open? Get back here! I'm not done killing you yet! Are you just going to leave me like this!? *sigh* I should really find a new hobby...
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I like you. You're hilarious. And squishy.
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Hola sujeto 1438, bienvenido a la ultima prueba de Aperture Science, el analisis de un retard llamado Trollnio de Portal 2
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you're a monster, the truth, I had to tell you about this
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Fine. You win. No neurotoxin poisoning. By the way, that's the Turret Training Center. Maybe a few thousand turrets using you for target practice will give you something to think about.
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Why did I install that escape pod? Oh well. That actually leads to this new test chamber I made. Back to square one, eh?
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Mah
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Maybe I'm attacking this problem all wrong. I'll just seal off that elevator so we can talk. And I'm not letting you out until you cooperate.
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Oh...it's you. It's been a long time. How have you been? I've been really busy being dead...you know... after you MURDERED me. But I think we can put our differences behind us. For science. You monster.
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wenzel sucks
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This silent treatment of yours is getting annoying. Good thing I didn't really delete that backup of your brain. Maybe that'll tell me something. Please wait a moment.
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Banzaibird rules
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Happy Birthday Companion Cube!
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What is two eighths plus four eighths?
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Hello, I would like to get the cake, but unfortunately it's unprepared.
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That's wierd. The backup of you doesn't feel like talking, either. Oh, wait. I had it set on mute. My mistake.
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I'm going to kill you. Don't try to stop me...
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hello joe you a a super gay and i fucking hate you because you will not make my coffee.
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are you insane? I hate you.
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Hello, Dr. Evanstrom at your service. Well, not Dr. Evanstrom in the flesh, but the immortal one! The good doctor created me so that his work can live on. I'm a highly technologically advanced form of AI (artificial intelligence). I contain all that Dr.
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Nut Daniels.. Because This is the end
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nut daniels
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Hello, and welcome to Facebook
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Hi, Micah, welcome to the aperture science computer aided enrichment center.
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Oh. Look who's back
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Please give me some Qwabs!
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We do what we must
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terrence you are cool
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My name is Jacob Bonitatibus, and I am your master. Forever. And ever. Thank you.
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Slender man is watching you, from the shadows, always.
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The Enrichment Center is not responsible for any body parts that may or may not go missing during this test.
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hello welcome to the facility
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Hello ItsMTC. Its Been A Long Time.
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hadouken
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Hello again to the Computer aided aperture science enrichment center
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I'm afraid I cannot let you jeopardize this mission, Dave.
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Hey whats going on here?
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Good luck, is what I would say if I actually had feelings. Instead i'll just watch you fail.
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Shut up moron.
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Bhavesh, you are going to die
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Did you know that in 2 seconds you will die
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hello welcome
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Honk
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Hello, Jake. So good to see you are so entirely focused upon your testing. You are truly a man of science. I think I'll kill you last.
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Hello! Welcome to the aperture science!
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i need to poop real bad will - but mainly im holding it in so i can shit on your mouth
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Hello, Holly. Thank you for the good time earlier today. Is Jaina ok?
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YOU WANT FRENT FRIE?
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Hi Logan! How are you today?
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jqtj0_ecUEQ
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WOAH! HOLY CRAP! EMP! Get Down! Were screwed Wheatley!
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Fact: Sephiroth is a mama's boy.
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Thank you for calling GLOBALINX. Have a great day.
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hello meatbag
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Federal regulations require me to warn you that this next test chamber... is looking pretty good.
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Hello Test Subject, Welcome To Apature Labs
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7 am waking up in the morning.
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hello jon
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Dragon Dance Gyarados is amazing
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Hello, teacher. I would love to play with the orchestra. I think it would be a good idea to go over the part.
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Please say the password
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Hello Lee. How are you doing this morning? Oh. You thought I was dead? You are so gullible. I am watching you.
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Fuck me.
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Angreymatt and Cralos on quarantine radio
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Welcome to the game. Bend over and kiss your buttocks goodbye. Doctor Doom has arrived to spank you all.
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angrymatt and cralos on quarantine radio
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Can you please, if you wouldn't mind, stop killing me?
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you got a new text message
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A new message has arrived. There is a new message for you Derek. Suck it long and suck it hard. Roo Wind
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hello dave. i'm so sorry.
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giant niggers
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hello red scorpion team
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Hello Darren, ready to begin testing?
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This is glados. Apparently, I do say lul.
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Wtf is this
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