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MessageDownloadDate addedDate processed
Go
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Teest
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oh my god
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You are now in the mix with Dj Seizure
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Welcome to Your computer
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Food for collection at reception
Download04/16/2010Not recorded
Hello and welcome to the Apperture Science Clow Book protection program. My name is Kero and I will be your guide through the Apperture science computer aided Clow Card capturing program.
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master deni
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Data incinerated
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Hello. This is an A T and T automated sentient service bot. Our records indicate that you have recently received technical support.
Download04/16/2010Not recorded
We have some questions for you. Please respond by speaking or typing the corresponding number of your selected response.
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Would you characterize your experience as 1 Very Helpful 2 Somewhat Helpful 3 Marginal or 4 Not Helpful?
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You have selected 1 Very Helpful.
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Was your problem corrected within 10 minutes and with no more than one transfer? 1 Strongly Agree 2 Agree 3 Disagree 4 Strongly Disagree
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You have selected 1 Strongly Agree. Thank you.
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Would you characterize your problem as one of your own creation? 1 Strongly Agree 2 Agree 3 Disagree 4 Strongly Disagree
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You have selected 1 Strongly Agree. You are a very reasonable person. It takes character to admit when you are wrong.
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Based on your previous responses, would you object to A T and T charging your account a service fee for wasting our technicians time?
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1 Not at all 2 Please do not. You have selected 1 Not at all. A service fee of fifteen dollars will be added to your account.
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Thank you for your time. Usually, these follow up calls are very unpleasant, but you have been very cooperative.
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In the future, please think before you call A T and T support. Have a good day.
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Collinsville High school is unconstitutional
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the stars are veiled, something stirs in the east, a sleepless malice
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'Take the second left'
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'Take the second right'
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'Take the third left'
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'Take the third right'
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'ahead, Exit left'
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Stop. The device will detonate if removed from an approved testing area. Stop what you are doing, and assume the Party Escort Submission Position. File deleted.
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Take the motorway. This is your last chance
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You should have turned left before. It's funny, actually, when you think about it
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leave the motorway. . . Very impressive. Please note that any appearance of danger is merely a device to enhance your testing experience
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Sharp left This next test is impossible Make no attempt to solve it
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Sharp right Very impressive Please note that any appearance of danger is merely a device to enhance your testing experience
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Take the ferry there will be cake
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Where do you think you're going? Because I don't think you're going where you think you're going Turn around when possible
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It's not too late for you to turn back
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Hello Deploying Preparing to dispense product Activated There you are Who's there
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Ferry ahead there will be cake
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My Pokey mans let me show them to you
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any chance of bum sex
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Would the man with the ten inch willy, please pick up the phone.
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Would the lady with the enormous boobies, please pick up the phone.
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Now, how are you going to clean up THIS mess?
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millers mad dogs
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Hello, I am Malak1147. I am a fan of anime and yaoi.
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DIE THE DEATH. SENTENCE TO DEATH. GREAT EQUALIZER IS THE DEATH!
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IAN THOMPSON, THIS IS YOUR FLASHHDRIVE, STOP USING ME FOR PORN
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THE COURT IS ADJOURNED. ADJOURNED. ADJOURNED. ADJOURNED. ADJOURNED. ADJOURNED. ADJOURNED. ADJOURNED. ADJOURNED. ADJOURNED. ADJOURNED. ADJOURNED. ADJOURNED. ADJOURNED. ADJOURNED. ADJOURNED. ADJOURNED. ADJOURNED. ADJOURNED. ADJOURNED. ADJOURNED. ADJOURNED.
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The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog!
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You can say it,I'm a genius.
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Not the Trolbot 9000!
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Master villains -- 1. Superheroes -- 0.
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The loser kicks the bucket, buys the farm, takes a big dirt nap, meets his maker, cashes in his chips?
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"Oh, it's you... It's been a long time. How have you been? I've been really busy being dead. You know...after you murdered me? Okay look, we both said a lot of things that you are going to regret. But I think we should put our differences behind us. F
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SERVERS CRASHING
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this is a test. also, knock knock. Who's there? ... Who's there? nobody! nobody who? ...
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Record 1, playing. Hello Glenn Thompson, this is Aperture Science, Incorporated. In behalf of our leading scientists, we have reviewed your personal history and decided to allow you to be hired as a member of our organization. Please select record 2.
Download04/17/2010Not recorded
Record 2 playing. Included in this Email is a link to Aperture Science, Incorporated's website, where you can login to the job applicator. Attached to this Email is instructions to loging in to your job applicator. Please select record 3.
Download04/17/2010Not recorded
Record 2 playing. Included in this Email is a link to Aperture Science, Incorporated's website, where you can login to the job applicator. Attached to this Email are instructions to logging in to your job applicator. Please select record 3
Download04/17/2010Not recorded
Record 3, playing. If you are unavle to finish the admission forms, then respond to this Email with the 64-digit passcode you aquired while completing the admission forms. Please select record 5.
Download04/17/2010Not recorded
By any means, please do not quit your current job unless Aperture Science, Incorporated has sent you an email confirming yur membership to Aperture Science, Incorporated. Thank you for your time and we hope to see you soon.
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Record 3, playing. If you are unavle to finish the admission forms, then respond to this Email with the 64-digit passcode you aquired while completing the admission forms. Please select record 4.
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Congratulations on making the motivational turret very lonely.
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Thank you for calling everything computers.
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Welcome Andrew
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The orne. It is time for the show, put the game away now.
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You are deceived
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what up dude
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aperature science
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Hi, this is Luis Flores. I’m sorry I cannot take your call right now. Please leave a detailed message at the tone along with your name and telephone number. I‘ll return your call as soon as I return. Thank you!
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Everybody buy Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2, because it will keep you occupied while I deploy my deadly neurotoxic gas!
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aaaaaaaaaaah
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four five oh eight three one nine
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You've reached Devin Moreland's phone. Sorry I cannot take your call right now. If you leave your name and number, i will return your call as soon as possible
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Yooo
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Hello test subject 934-982348. It is time to begin your test.
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Hello and welcome to Physics Not Included, the show that knows no limits when it comes to discovering the truth. The orne can not be with you today, he is unavalable. I will be hosting today...anyone got a problem with that?
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Hello Rosie
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Hello Rosie. And welcome to the aperture science enrichment programme/
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Now logging off. I look forward to observing you further.
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we do what we must because we can
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what the hell
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Hello, welcome to the Arcturus Science Research Center, where our pride is making technological advancements that make life better
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To say that you have no new email messages would be a blatant fabrication
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Hello Rosie. And welcome to the aperture science enrichment programme.
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Aperture Science wishes to remind you that the Genetic Lifeform and World Wide Browsing Interface will never attempt to release deadly neurotoxins into your bedroom and is, in fact, not homocidal.
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Your download was not completed. Aperture science would like to remind you that this is entirely your fault.
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Download complete.
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I'm being serious now. That popup is not part of any test protocol.
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Welcome to another episode of Game TV
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Arcturus Science wishes to remind you that although fun, and learning are our primary goals, we wish to inform you that the LMMs, seen to the right of the chamber, have been malfunctioning lately, and can cause permanent disabilities, such as vaporisation
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Commencing Download.
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Aperture Science Genetic Lifeform and Disk Operating System is starting up.
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Hello Jeremy. Are you ready for you test? There will be cake.
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That place was your home... you left it and came into the world... I saw you get tortured by people... yet I could do nothing.
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You have a phone call.
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You have an instant message.
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Buzz buzz buzz! Oh, buzzing is so fun.
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I am going to have wild free sex with your mother
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I like the sound of that
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Help I can't find the Cake!
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You are listening to WMLU 91.3 FM. The music of Longwood University and Farmville Virginia
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your hair smells like peaches
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Your phone is ringing, you should proceed to answering it and then there will be cake
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Hi Welcome to test test FA
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Hello and welcome to Physics Not Included, the show that answers the questions that sane people don't want to.
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The orne can not be with you today, he is unavalable. I will be hosting today. Anyone got a problem with that?
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By Danh and Matthew
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A powerpoint about powerpoints
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If you don't put the mouse into the trap, your face will expload.
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She's just mad that she's wrong
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Hello you have reached Gabriel Toledo Headquarters this is Linda. Im sorry but Mr. Toledo is currently unavailable to take your call, as he is momentarily busy. Please leave me your name and number and I will inform him of your call. Thank you
Download04/19/2010Not recorded
Excuse me Mr. Toledo. I hate to interrupt but I do believe you have an incoming call. Please touch to activate. Failing to do so will result in one missed call.
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All your base are belong to us, thank you for your cooperation. The enrichment center will offer you cake and grief counseling in exhange for your organs
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hello agaiiinnnn this is GLADOS and I came back fooooorrr my cake....did u miss me?? WHERE IS MY CAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!
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The enrichment center regrets to inform you that Andrew is not currently available. Please leave a message, and he will recieve it upon successful navigation of the laser traps.
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It makes me mad im not you
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This was a mistake.
I'm making a note here: HUGE MESS UP!
It's hard to overcome my previous statement.

Download04/19/2010Not recorded
Hello you have reached Pili Hookano Headquarters this is Glados. Im sorry but Pili is currently unavailable to take your call, as he is momentarily busy. Please leave me your name and number and I will inform him of your call. Thank you
Download04/19/2010Not recorded
The enrichment center regrets to inform you that the person you have dialed Pili Hookano is not currently available. Please leave a message, and he will receive it upon successful navigation of the laser traps. Thank you and call again.
Download04/19/2010Not recorded
The enrichment center regrets to inform you that if you do not slide the green box on this iPhone your face will explode and you will receive one missed call followed by a voicemail. This message will repeat now.
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sierra kersten is in love with jake lee, and he loves her back
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Excuse me Gabriel. I hate to interrupt but I do believe you have an incoming telephone call. For the connivence of those around you please acknowledge it. Failure to do so in a timely fashion will be quite unsatisfactory, and result in one missed call.
Download04/20/2010Not recorded
Excuse me Gabriel. I hate to interrupt but I do believe you have an incoming telephone call. For the convenience of those around you please acknowledge it. Failure to do so in a timely fashion will be quite unsatisfactory, and result in one missed call.
Download04/20/2010Not recorded
Hello you have reached Mr. Toledo's cellular device. If you were intending to converse with Mr. Toledo you have failed.  quite miserably. Please leave me your name and number and I will inform him of your call. Thank you
Download04/20/2010Not recorded
Hello you have reached Mr. Toledos cellular device. If you were intending to converse with Mr. Toledo you have failed. Â quite miserably. Please leave me your name and number and I will inform him of your call. Thank you
Download04/20/2010Not recorded
Hello , I'm Owen . And I rock .
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Hello, and again, welcome to the apeture science computer
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holy crap its over 9000!
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ITS A TRAP!
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dave is fat
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Top 5
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Hello Hector. You have failed the test and you must be terminated.
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welcome to apeture science
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Hello you have reached the voice mail of David Renaud. He is not able to answer your outgoing call at this time. Please leave a message and David Renaud will get back to you as soon as possible. Thank you and have a nice day!
Download04/20/2010Not recorded
Hello I sadly must inform you that i was unable to connect you to the cellulaur device of David Renaud due to the fact that David Renaud is away. Please leave your name, number, and desired response and i will inform David Renaud. Have a pleasant day!
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I dont fuckin cheat
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dafsdfasfasdf
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Who are you, How did you get here
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Who are you, How did you get here, This is a restricted area, Get out of here
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Titans
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Go back, im going to have to kill you now.
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This isn't a triumph. Im not making a note here. Are you happy that you killed me? your not doctor, your not a scientist, your not even a full time employee
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nya go to bed
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puppies puppies puppies
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Due to mandatory scheduled maitenance, this cellular device is currently unavailable. Please record a short message identifying yourself and I will notify the owner. Thank you on behalf of Aperture Science. Goodbye.
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The Cake is definitely a lie.
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This is a Black Ty exclusive
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IIIIIIII JUsT LOOOOOOssssTTT the GAAAMMMEEE!!
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You aint no Gattah. You fucking Loser
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You aint no GATOR. You fuckinggg loserrrr
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I just lost the game!
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Can't we all just get along? You killed me and I killed you, but we're still friends....right?
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BILLY
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What brings a subject to this particular location, I believe you are looking for an exit, right?, Well follow me.
Download04/21/2010Not recorded
What are you doing? Stop it, I, I, I, iiiii we are pleased that you made it through the final challenge where we pretended we were going to murder you. That was great. I'll tell you what that interdimensional gates isn't, it isn't yours, so leave it alone
Download04/21/2010Not recorded
Alright, let me open this door for you... It should've opened, What's wrong with it., AHA, There, you can come through now
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Hello Jon. This is GLaDOS telling you to shut up.
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This was a failure. I'm making a note here. EPIC FAIL. It's hard to overstate my disappointment.
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Dont bother picking this up. Since no one likes you, it cannt be a real call.
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Player is on grenade level.
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Player is on knife level.
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Epic Fail!
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For the people who are still unbanned.
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roflcopter goes soy soy soy soy soy
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Bonjour je parles français
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Top Rock Foot Work Powermoves Freezes
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That is so annoying
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hello i was wondering if u had some cake
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you've got mail
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computer is shutting down
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email sent
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vocal message
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hi ryan are you red like tomoto
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hi ryan are you red like tomato
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Hello, You have a text message. Oh, and by the way do you want cake?
Download04/22/2010Not recorded
Hello your time is now, Oh My God You killed me. No cake for you.
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What can prevent us from yielding to the burning desire for merging in God?
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what the fuck
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we are anonymous, we do not forgive we do not forget, expect us
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are you there, did you hear me. are you listing to me? hello.. why aren't you hearing me. why aren't you talking to me. hello.
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dennis gilman
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Hello Lucas! Time to get out of bed.
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hello there welcome to the aperture science enrichment center qo qo qo two plus two is ha ha ha ten
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Austin
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DJ ELITE
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What are your questions
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I am a little of the tree today
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Telephone
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As part of the current protocol, I wantto remind you that skype exists.
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Now is the time for all good robots to come to the aid of their country
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Hello , I am Lionel and I Rock .
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Hello , I am Kelvin and I Rock . Kelbin
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Owen , You have an message .
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Was machen Sie da?
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Hello. Here is GL
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Hello. Here is GLaDOS! You have received a message!
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I am not really a supercomputer, as you may think.
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this suit is black , not
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hello and again, fuck yourself.
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mom come here
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slovak slovakia 2 year program
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Hi there i am to be your aperture science guide to the infinit. Welcome and enjoy your stay.
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I hate Matt and Jeremy
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Ha ha ha synthetic super-beings do not feel hate
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only triumph for the
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Why don't you just marry that thing?
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Wake up! 00214 subject ready for test. Getting Started
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.kwjerntg:Kwrejgv"LQioejrg
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only anticipation
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HA
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Your fingerprint has been accepted. Thank You.
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Your fingerprint is not in the database. Please try again.
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Felix is really really bad. At the end of the test, I will destroy him.
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Oh good, you're awake. I've been dead for hundreds and hundreds of years and still got bored waiting for you. Subject LIJI04728, prepare for your testing. If you are good, Forte Dorte Shorte will give you a cake in the end. Good luck!
Download04/24/2010Not recorded
Boy oh boy. You have a new message.
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What joy. [subject name here] has just logged in.
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Subject LIJI has just logged in.
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Subject Jiffa has just logged in.
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Subject Markus has just logged in.
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Subject Cow has just logged in.
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Well you find me. Congratualtions.
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oh my god. What is your problem
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Your doing very well
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I do not think that you doing, what do you think that you doing.
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Maybe when you're finished, we can sit down and play some Duke Nukem Forever.
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This was a failure. We tried to change you but we failed It's hard to overstate my disappointment.
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Skynet calling, please press 9.
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poe
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Welcome to axe team.
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Welcome To The Aperture Science Enrichment Center. Please Do Not Tamper With This Terminal. Any Attempt To Do So Will Result In The Immidiate Asimilation Of The Cake.
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I Need Jesus by Brandon Cisneros
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Congratulations. Was it worth it?
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welcome. but i do beleive that you are indeed not a cake, i am sorry you will be here forever.
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That thing is probably some kind of raw sewage container. Go ahead and rub your face all over it.
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good nipples die hard
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I am a man!
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testtest
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dirty ol knights
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yhrthdgjfgh
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i like to eat children
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Hello subject A L I. Aperture Science would like to welcome you in your new home and wish you luck with your tomorrow's interview.
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Living easy, living free Season ticket on a one-way ride Asking nothing, leave me be Taking everything in my stride Don't need reason, don't need rhyme Ain't nothing I would rather do Going down, party time My friends are gonna be there too
Download04/25/2010Not recorded
I'm on the highway to hell. No stop signs, speed limit Nobody's gonna slow me down Like a wheel, gonna spin it Nobody's gonna mess me round Hey Satan, payin' my dues Playing in a rocking band Hey Momma, look at me I'm on my way to the promised land
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I'm on the highway to hell (Don't stop me) And I'm going down, all the way down I'm on the highway to hell
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ScatGingaNinja
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Say welcome to eXeC - The root administrator of the server
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Thank you
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Ivan, Ivan? I see you floating over there Ivan, floating is not cool you know.
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dshk dshkfshdlk fdslkhgudfskghkjf kdjfvkcnvkhfrui rjfdkjfdjf; l s d j f d f jdas ;asa ;al skkj fid 1234567890 qwerty la la la la la qwerty 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10! la la lal ala. la ala alalalalala Ababam uytrtyuytrrtuuyrtrtuuytrryuu
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Welcome Player 4 82
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Hello, and welcome to the aperture science computer aided enrichment center reward console.
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dod
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at 10:00 you have to go to the grocery store.
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Welcome to Cyberdyne Research, today you will be participating in the mandatory Skynet Networking tests, including using the Nexus Operating System. Thank you for using GLaDOS software.
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As part of a mandatory testing procedure you will be testing Windows Longhorn Professional. There will be cake at the end of the test.
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I will give you cake.
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As a part of mandatory testing protocol, you will be testing Skynet Software. There will be a party associate with cake at the end of the test.
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Hello and welcome, members of AbandoNet. Today you will undergo a trolling procedure courtesy of an anonymous user.
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You are dead. Not big surprise.
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Hello Lee, I am glad that the issue is resolved. Please let us know if you encounter any further difficulty - we will be happy to assist you.
Download04/25/2010Not recorded
Please let us know if you encounter any further difficulty - we will be happy to assist you.
Download04/25/2010Not recorded
As part of a mandatory consumption protocol, you are required to serve blueberry cheesecake.
Download04/26/2010Not recorded
Hello this is GLaDOS. Visit matths dot de e please!
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This Is A Viral Video. THE END. Now Tell Your Friends That This Is The Best Video Ever! Let's See How Many Views This Can Get.
Download04/26/2010Not recorded
I am still alive.
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Your mother was a hampster, and your father reeks of elderberries!
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Please touch me in the woman behind.
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Bat Man Calling
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Hello, you see that that is the sound of your voice
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old people cannot learn.
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hi mom what is up?
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what you will first need to do is remove the front part
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Now you have control of both portals, as part of a required test protocol, you must show the ability to use them effectively..
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i need drugs
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I NEED Hugs!
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Rob Dollars will make it all better!
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chillin and grillin!
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My name is...Michaelangelo.
Download04/26/2010Not recorded
Hello and again welcome to the Aperture Science Computer-Aided Enrichment Center. We hope your brief detention in the relaxation vault has been a pleasant one. Your specimen has been processed. Before we start, however, keep in mind that although fun and
Download04/26/2010Not recorded
The weighted companion cube will never threaten to stab you and, in fact, cannot speak.
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This companion cube is made of 50 percent paper and 50 percent love.
Download04/26/2010Not recorded
Thank you subject name here for taking part in this Academic Center Enrichment Presentation.
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I can haz cake plis?
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Greetings Charlotte and Alex, my lords and masters
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WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
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Hurry up and die mother fucker!
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Jared, get ready for school. No fooling around
Download04/27/2010Not recorded
jukka rules
Download04/27/2010Not recorded
you have selected GLaDOS as your computers default voice.
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Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.
Download04/27/2010Not recorded
Congradulations you found me,was it worth it.because the only thing you've managed to brake so far,is my heart.
Download04/27/2010Not recorded
Hello. Welcome to Roska Digital. We have been expecting you.
Download04/27/2010Not recorded
How about a nice game of chess?
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Whose band name is it anyway?
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Balls
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Hello. We are the power plant and our next song is called the tank.
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Your operating system is shutting down.
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Your system is now shutting down. Goodbye
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Hello, and again, welcome
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what are you doing? because, i don't think you are doing what you think you are doing
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dont believe the hype
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Focus On The DJ
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Welcome. Please move quickly to the chamberlock.
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Shut up.
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Good morning, and welcome to black mesa transit system.
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Welcome! Welcome to City 17! I'ts safer here!
Download04/28/2010Not recorded
Hello and welcome to a LygrIe Pictures video. I hope you'll anjoy it. I'm GLaDOS and I approve this message
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Gentlemen? Pikaboo
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You have received a message!
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Hi. My name is Tsuki and Im otaku girl.
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Tak wiec jestem ciekawa jak ten generator bedzie dzialal w polskim
Download04/28/2010Not recorded
Oh, it's you... It's been a long time. How have you been? I've been really busy being dead. You know...after you murdered me? Okay look, we both said a lot of things that you are going to regret. But I think we should put our differences behind us. For sc
Download04/28/2010Not recorded
hei jeg er dennis
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dimble bot is standing by for election spectacular
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Thanks for calling , you have reached Silvas C & R, we are currently unavailable to answer your phone call. Please leaver your name a brief message and a phone number. We will contact you as soon as possible. Have a wonderful day.
Download04/28/2010Not recorded
Welcome to the aperature science death maze. Please try to have fun. But remeber that this is not a video game, you will not respawn. Thank you and Good bye
Download04/28/2010Not recorded
Welcome to sam's computer. please type your Admin password now. If three failed password atmepts destruction of user is immanent
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Welcome, New Aperature Scientists. You are to listen to me now. Welcome to Aperature.
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Welcome to Aperature.
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Comming Soon.
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These tests may kill you, But I'm ok with that.
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Get Ready to Die in this Lab.
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Rogue Eagle you are my god, please accept this sacrifice
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You have recieved a message.
Download04/29/2010Not recorded
go fuck your self
Download04/29/2010Not recorded
And then there will be cake
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Welome Base The PC will Be Ready To Be Use In 10 Seconds
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fantastico
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Warning, - Dragon - Detected on the server!
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clitita bean
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I can't believe i came back here.
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it all started 6 years ago.
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Hello again and welcome to the bee zee powercast.
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Incoming Call from....Jen
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New text message
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new email message
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you have an appointment
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I've found you
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eat shit
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watch ekran
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watch ek krahn
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watch ek rawn
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Hi d
Download04/30/2010Not recorded
Stage lift now moving. please clear stage left, right, and center.
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Stage lift will be moving. please clear stage left, right, and center.
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You have no chance to survive make your time
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De de de Dennnkiiii
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Where the heck is that cake? Did Chell steal it? Oh crap not again...
Download04/30/2010Not recorded
THE SUBSCRIBER IS NOT ANSWERING HIDDEN NUMBERS
Download05/01/2010Not recorded
For the Safty of all test subjects, Do not destroy anything
Download05/01/2010Not recorded
NATE
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go to hell chris im not lettin u on
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Apeture Science, we do what we must because we can
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Do I look fat in this core?
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KwH Sponge
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menni hardcore radio
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I am now shutting down your computer
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I will get you, Cameron. The cake is not a lie. I had some today.
Download05/01/2010Not recorded
Ooh whats that?
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aga
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New E-Mail Alert!
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now you thinking with portals
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Welcome to the party. The cake is not a lie. Have a great time.
Download05/01/2010Not recorded
A new text message has arrived
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A new e-mail message has arrived
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You currently have an incoming phone call. Please answer it for reasons of posterity.
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I'm sorry, but you are not authorised to access that resource.
Download05/01/2010Not recorded
You currently have an incoming video call. Please answer it for reasons of posterity.
Download05/01/2010Not recorded
oi you you fat **** get out of ****ing bed you stupid **** and much more
Download05/01/2010Not recorded
An ungulate has been detected in your area. Please be aware.
Download05/01/2010Not recorded
Suna you haven't soul ! Because you are a ginger !
Download05/01/2010Not recorded
Thank you for taking part in this project
Download05/01/2010Not recorded
Dj Breecy Dj Krisp
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Combee
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Shut up. You are giving me a headache.
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Hey, someone is calling you. They probably have cake. Pick it up!
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OMG WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Shut the heck up. I want to eat this dang taco in peace you dork.
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baby
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you
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called
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can't
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hear
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ah
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thing
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you called
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hello and welcome to Redshift public build sever
Download05/02/2010Not recorded
Hello And welcome To redshift Public build server.Please insert one baby into the collection ben to continue. Thankyou and goodbye
Download05/02/2010Not recorded
Hello. I am Billy. How are you?
Download05/02/2010Not recorded
In a world. Where nuthing is as it seems. Germs run wild. Children eat dirt, interact in schools, eat with their filthy hands.
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I can see you Kevin
Download05/02/2010Not recorded
I want to play half life 2.
Download05/02/2010Not recorded
Warning, Your CPU is overheated.
Download05/02/2010Not recorded
I love pie, chocolate pie yum, let me eat pie
Download05/02/2010Not recorded
Cayden is a homosexual
Download05/02/2010Not recorded
The atomic bombs were not more atrocious than the various inhumanities of World War two, that had literally become a part of everyday life.
Download05/02/2010Not recorded
OH its you
Download05/02/2010Not recorded
Kiss my left nut biatch
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I love sweet and sour pork.
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A new model of robotics by CyberShock Industries. With brand new state-of-the-art computer processors. A new android designed by us, for you. Let us present, the Female Android. The Alpheena.
Download05/03/2010Not recorded
of course it's the method man from the wu-tang clan
Download05/03/2010Not recorded
I like the stupidity of the cake.
Download05/03/2010Not recorded
The work of aperture science sometimes reminds me of nazi germany
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Hello im Glados hehe
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I don't hate you.
Download05/03/2010Not recorded
Warning, Your CPU is overheated
Download05/03/2010Not recorded
PIKACHU
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Fudere
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Please proceed into android hell.
Download05/03/2010Not recorded
Hello.... we are organic arma
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You must not stutter your bagel
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My name is Berlin sucka
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Set To Stereo
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yes i can sing like a robot
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Subject name here
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edria
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Keller system online
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hello who are you?
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hmm does this actually work?!
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One Hundred Yards Ahead
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One Hundred Fifty Yards Ahead
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1 Kilometer Ahead
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1 Mile Ahead
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200 Meters Ahead
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Two Hundred Yards Ahead
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Two Hundred Fifty Yards Ahead
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2 Kilometers Ahead
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2 Miles Ahead
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Three Hundred Yards Ahead
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Three Hundred Fifty Yards Ahead
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Three Tenths of a Mile Ahead
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Four Hundred Yards Ahead
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Four Hundred Fifty Yards Ahead
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500 Meters Ahead
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Five Hundred Yards Ahead
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Fifty Yards Ahead
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Approaching Stop
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It seems that you have found your way...Cancelling Detour
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Welcome to the aperture science Computer Aided Navigation System
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Finding Detour
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Cancelling Detour
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Attention Fixed Automatic Safety Camera
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Take Motorway Junction
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Just Ahead
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Keep Straight Ahead
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Continuing to Next Stop
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Point of Disintrest Ahead
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You have found where you were going, the cake was a Lie
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Welcome to the aperture science Computer Aided Navigation System, Cake will be provided at your Destination
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Take 1st Exit at Roundabout
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Take 10th Exit at Roundabout
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Take 2nd Exit at Roundabout
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Take 3rd Exit at Roundabout
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Take 4th Exit at Roundabout
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Take 5th Exit at Roundabout
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Take 6th Exit at Roundabout
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Take 7th Exit at Roundabout
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Take 8th Exit at Roundabout
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Take 9th Exit at Roundabout
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Safety Camera Ahead
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Make a Sharp Left
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Make a Sharp Right
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Speed Camera Ahead
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Take Exit
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Traffic Incident Reported
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While Aperture Science can not tell you what to do, we will sugest this helpful advice, Turn Around
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juan is gay
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What have you done? You've Broken Reality! How do you think you can fix that?
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in one tenth of a mile
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attention
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avoiding road
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canceling avoid
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In the event of an emergency, ignore it, and it will pass
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hello. i am GLaDOS, a in extremely inteligent computer.
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You dont even care, do you?
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Your disk has been burned successfully
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There has been a slight problem
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Hello, If I'am permited to speak again, Doctor Sheldon Cooper For The Win
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incominng mail
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shutting down systems. Have a good day.
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pills
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Hello abba
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did you catch the game last night dale?
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weird al yankovic
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this is a test of the aperture science emergency broadcast system if this were a real emergency s=the siren would have sounded
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hello im glados
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Cake was a lie
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Your computer is booting up.
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Your computer is shutting down.
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Hello. Welcome to the HP G60 Personal Computer. GLaDOS is awaiting commands from the user.
Download05/05/2010Not recorded
This is a Youtube Survey...... If you want to continue, stay on the line for ten seconds and we will transfer you to a surveyor
Download05/05/2010Not recorded
zero zero zero zero zero not getting another penny shes got zero you will be paying zero zero zero zero free at last dear god all mighty you Ernie Rahmos are free at last
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You will all die.
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we do what we must because we can. for the good of all of us except the ones who are dead
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I will be away from my phone between one thirty and four thirty today please leave a message
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Hello. Welcome to the Compaq Presario Personal Computer. GLaDOS is awaiting commands from the user.
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Hello, I am a biggest nEWB
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sexy
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