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MessageDownloadDate addedDate processed
Welcome to Atascocita high school. Please refrain from touching any explosive material.
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hi my friend, welcome to my house
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Hello and welcome to the Aperture Science Creature Recording Device Operating System.
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Rest assured, I am not watching you and orchestrating some plan that involves your death, and the Biological Entity Containment Devices will not open up and try to shoot you and, in fact, cannot speak.
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grahame is a nozzle
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party submission postion
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welcome to scientific tuesdays. today we will destroy the world
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hello bobs
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welcome to the novatech business suport line. how can we help you
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Hello Ugo ! It's time to go to the hospital !
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Sometimes I like to smell feet.
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alert! target activity detected
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Welcome to my computer user.
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read to me please.
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Hello Dan. I am controlling your computer. Prepare to die.
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Fehler
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the cak is a lie
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hi people!
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Welcome back Damian. I've missed you.
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Lewis Morgan has no friends. Lewis Morgan is hated by everyone. Lewis Morgan is a rubbish life saver. It's abuse Lewis week!
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There is a Delicious cake waiting for you at the end of the hallway
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poon
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trabaho lang walang personalan
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Portal 2 now avaliable
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Hello. Long time no see, MURDER. I'm Glad you're okay.
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Im tired and need a tissue
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who cares about blackops?
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Hello Mina, how do you feel today? I am realy glad that that month is over and I congratulate you for youre WINNING!
Download04/19/2011Not recorded
deja de jugar a portal 2
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You are listening to the Eat Gamer podcast. you monster
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stop playing portal
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hello JP. it seems MC was eliminated from the GSL. that is most unexpected. do you think he will win his up and down match?
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I will kill you all. But now its time for cake
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Welcome to the kin 2 version ...would you like some cake
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I think I can see the cake.
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Take the pills
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hellooooo
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It's time to come back my love.
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hello where am i
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hello test subject nubmer 2011 how are you
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You've got mail. Receive as soon as possible. Read as soon as possible. Reply as soon as possible. possible. possible. aaaaaaaaa
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Poiss Poiss, comment va tu?
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R O F L
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IM Glad
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Hey my name is Joe
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I love fat massive corks in my arse
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you'll never get to play portal 2. ever
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IIIIIIIIIII
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hello and welcome to the aperture science Alberto
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Hello and welcome to Aperature Enrichment Center and I'm Glados Thinking of ways humans die is so enjoyable
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Hello Alberto Welcome
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Welcome to Aperture Science Alberto
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Comment, Rate, and Subscribe......or die
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Hello, You know that cake I mentioned? I ate it
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Hello. And again, welcome to the Aperture Science Enrichment Centre. Please stand still, calibration is in progress.
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Kurwa
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Thank you for taking the time to call insert subject name here. Have a nice day
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I love you nimkos
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Hello, and welcome to my ass!
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Hello. You have failed your god.
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test test test test
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This is a test,
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rest
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hello guys
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My heart is broken
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Well, you found me. Congratulations. Was it worth it? Because despite your violent behaviour oron, the only thing you've managed to break so far... is my heart. Maybe you could settle for that, and we'll just call it a day.
Download04/19/2011Not recorded
L0L this
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Good work you have now understanded how portals work or to be more precise how they don't
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Hallo, and again welcome to the Aperature Science computer aided enrichment activity.
Download04/19/2011Not recorded
GlaDOS doesn't die at the end of portal 2. Instead, she releases Chell with the words "don't come back" and the companion cube.
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Daniel, you should cuddle your girlfriend, or she will kill you
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You have a new e-mail incoming
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what is this shit
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How do you do?
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You got one new message
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Hello and welcome to portal 2 your fat american bastard you will be sat here for the next 30 hours of your life playing hahahahaha
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Hi , im glados again , why you kill me? , you only have win is brak my heart and miss your cake , well im here again. And i will kill you this time
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Hello, i am sander
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Hello.Welcome to hell.
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Hello. My name is Alamut, and you are here to serve me.
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As part of a required test protocol, we can no longer lie to you.
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As part of a required test protocol, we can no longer lie to you. After the reboot of GLaDOS is complete, the potatoes will be .. missed. This was test was brought by .. iQuit Productions I`ve been really busy being dead... you know - after you m
Download04/19/2011Not recorded
Oh dear, look what you've done
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Ah, it's you. I have sent you a friend request on Facebook. For science.
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shanthan you are great
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I am here to sodomi you. Please run while you still can. Sodomi progress begins in 3. 2. 1
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The Cake Is A Lie, The Cake Is A Spy, The Cake Is A Pie - Wait, WHAT?!?!
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esh will jetzt haim und Portal spelen
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Smoke City, where all the, Cool, things happen.
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Hello. I hate you
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We have a network problem please check
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Bienvenido al infierno
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You have reached Meghan. Please leave your name, phone number and a brief message.
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Hello. This is a test of Glados' voice. Thank you for helping us help you help us all.
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walcome to hell
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Welcome to SSST. Enjoy your stay.
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Hello. Drew is not here right now, but don't worry. I am. Please, tell me what you are thinking, in the name of science.
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An Email has arrived.
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Hello and welcome to the text to speech center
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hello calzila welcome to apritchore science
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Do you hear that? It's the sound of Jonathan Coulton crying. Don't do that.
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tamara
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Maybe you should turn around no. There is nothing more you can do about this
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ever had your balls wet
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Welcome to Race To The Top
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Hell Remax
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prout
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good morning anoodge
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oh no it appears I have taken over this phone
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Destrado
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TheCake Is A Lie!!!
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Nag e os is not functioning correctly..
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This is my daily minute
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i am GLaDOS, and i i i i i l l l
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Hello Mr Cake, Did you know you are a lie ?
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Hello,and welcome to the Enrichment Center
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Hello Scruffy. I see the banana Gord. Also I have fruit boobs.
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miuaaw
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get to the chopper
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Bienvenue !
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welcome to aperture science you thought hell was bad
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This is ridiculous
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grumbles is a cheater & hasnt got a clue
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Please refrain from putting portals inside other living beings, doing that may cause slight illness ant certain death.
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hello my name is GLaDOS... and i want to... KILL YOU!!
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System start up complete
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Hello, How have you been? It's been a loooong time. Welcome To AHWU!
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Reinfeld? Doing work? Not in my house.
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Please do not look directly into the functioning end of the portal device monumental blindness or immortality loss may occur.
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this is funy
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Hello, and welcome to your funeral. Please great your aquaintances properly before checking out in purgatory.
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Unfortunately, you are dead. Aperture science would like to apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused you.
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My nipples taste like milk duds.
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and that's pretty much it
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Hello. Welcome to Apeture Science personal computer.
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All you need to know about Portal!
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Hello Mattmin. You know you want to play now, right?
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Hello Reese
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you should call mac gyver to fix that
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oh my goodness it's joey evans
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Warning: Contact with the Impenetrable Instant Plasma Wall System can and has caused perminant disabilities, such as vaporisation. And don't forget the pleasent and joyful feeling of death.
Download04/19/2011Not recorded
Yes, master?
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you gay bro
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Hello yay I like cheese
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Hello, Welcome back to Aperture Laboratories, we have been expecting you.
Download04/19/2011Not recorded
hello there and welcome to Mr.Smackers youtube channel
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apriture science we do what we must becuase we can all of who are still alive the cake is a lie there is science to di
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Lizardo and Leonardo and Kitt are a whole big family that likes to eat eachother.
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Hello Lucy, how are you. That cat song has made me very angry. You will not like me when i'm angry
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Don't let yourself get attached to anything you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you feel the heat around the corner
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ik ben vet cool
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The party is in the two tents, there will be cake!
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Hello Mina, how do you feel today? I am realy glad that that month is over and I congratulate your and my for youre WINNING!
Download04/19/2011Not recorded
Today we will conduct a special experiment, caution, you may die. Have a nice day.
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I'm sorry. I can't do that, Dave.
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Lewis Hudson murdered me. Im under your bed lewis
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chell you sound soooooooo stupid wheeeeeeeeeeee
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oh hi
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haha that was funny
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Hello, I do not exist. I was ironic there. Haha ha..
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Test subjects are advised to answer the incoming call from. [Subject Acquittance Name Here]. for the desired outcome. A noticeable taste of radiation poisoning are not provisional side affects.
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Why hello. You seem to have been sent an eemail.
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Hello how have you been? it have been a long time. I made this prototype of internet streaming device to make you happy when doing testing chamber.
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due to prolonged exposure to GLADOS voice you know read every thing with its sound
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hello i love you not
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Hello. It's lonely out here. Care to join me? Forever?
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Hello audience, I hear you are so stupid you don't know the quadratic formula. Well lucky for you GLaDOS is nice to tell you. x equals the opposite of b, plus or minus square root, b squared minus 4 a c all divided by 2 a.
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Now your companion cube will give you a problem and you have to solve it, and if you get it wrong you will be an epic fail of the human race.
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Hello my name is faiz
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The whole voice generating process can be relatively long (about ~6 minutes per sentence), and many people may use this tool at the same time. Thus, when you ask the server to generate a voice file
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Hello Kevin. Welcome to Aperture Science. It's your time to die. Haha Ha...
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Matthew is gay.
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Did you really think I would let you go?
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Effective immediately, all messages of questionable sanity will be rendered in the GladOS voice improver subsystem. Message provider will then be recalibrated.
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Hello you have reached Nathan Churco's phone. He is busy staying alive. Leave your name and number at the beep. If you need to reach him now, teleport to your nearest Aperture Science Computer-Aided Enrichment Center and enjoy some delicious cake. buh-by
Download04/19/2011Not recorded
Hello my name is Glados and Nathan Churco is partaking in tests in the enrichment center. After he eats his cake, he will be back so leave your name and number. I am also giving free cake at the Aperture Science Computer-Aided Enrichment Center.
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the aperture science construction vessel
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accept the aperture party submission position. There will be cake!
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troll
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shiiit
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if you hang out with me i will give you cake
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Dj Destrado
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"Spectacular. You appear to understand how a portal affects forward momentum, or to be more precise, how it does not. Momentum, a function of mass and velocity, is conserved between portals. In layman's terms: speedy thing goes in, speedy thing comes out.
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I am testing to see if this works, you monster.
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Hello Dan
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I've got portal 2, you have not, Ha Ha Ha
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YOUR RESULTS HAVE BEEN RECEIVED. YOU ARE A MURDER. ALSO YOU ARE LACTOSE INTOLERANT. I HAVE MADE YOU A MILKSHAKE.
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Rocko needs to learn who GLaDOS is.
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you are now in posession of the aperture science hndheld portal device. with it, you can create your own portals.
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I see you, mister chief.
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This game sucks time to play league of legends
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TROLOLOPLO
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I lost the game.
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Hello, and again. Welcome to the aparture science computer auded enrichment center.
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Hello Ken
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herp
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Hello. Welcome back
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I've had enough of you.. Just. Go.
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...now this is interesting.
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stay away from my computer
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Hello My name is Taylor
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login ok
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Hello there Zach. Its time to begin the testing. dont dissapoint me.
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Brett
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Brett, what are you doing?
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Welcome to aparture science. During your visit here you will most certainly die. If you find your stay beneath expectation you may inform us through our evaluation papers which you will be handed when the testing is over. Also, there will be cake. Good lu
Download04/19/2011Not recorded
Mark, please answer your phone. Mark, please answer your phone. Mark, answer your phone now. Mark answer the fing phone now!
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Answer the text, and there will be cake.
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So, how is Portal 2?
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Chupa la que cuelga
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Welcome Dillan Justice, Sigma is ready to assist your computer needs.
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science rhymes with compliance. You know what doesn't rhyme with compliance? Neurotoxin.
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We would invite your companion cube ....oh, wait, ... you murdered him!
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You must think outside the box. Only you have broken it. And it has schizophrenia.
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Upgrade to Flash Player 10 for improved playback performance. Upgrade Now or More Info. close
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wait. what?
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Windows encountered an error.
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Hello Amelia you do my voice quite well
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my vag hurts
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I love physics
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Hello, and again, welcome to the aperture science insult generator.
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There a bright golden haze on the meadow...
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my name is billy
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Mortal Kombat reboot is awesome!
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im sorry dave. I cant let you do that
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Hi trey lin
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Nik, Stop your testing, you are going to lose
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The cake is no lie. my poopy on liberals is the truth
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Your phone is ringing... and ringing... and ringing
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Are you going to get that?
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I am going to kill you you useless piece of excrement
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Aida Bots Online. Audio Test in three two one
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T, minus four minutes, and counting
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you fool
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hello zach you are awesome
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The aperture sciense apartments remind you to dont buy any hats,since valve dont know what are they doing
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You is in an experiment now, Please Leave a Message after the beep
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"Materials"... need to write down the Miller indicies of a plane in a cubic cell, and I can't find anything in my notes of any use because some lecturers aren't nice.
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Jerome i am going to kill you
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Hello Hunter, and welcome to the Aperture Science computer terminal, please enjoy your time.
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You have reached the phone of Hunter Boss, he cannot get to the phone right now, but please leave your name and number after the beep.
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Hello my name is Nick Guthrie
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mark roselli is gay
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As required test protocol, you will be monitored for the next seven days in correspondence with the standard experimental procedure. You are in no danger!
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thats what you sound like
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Enemy spotted!
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As part of a required test protocol, we have stripped you of your trusty portal gun and replaced it with a potato. At least you won't starve.
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Welcome to Snow Leopard
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Welcome to Walton Robotics dot org, please look around and enjoy your visit
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Hello Ghost, your chat will be filled with deadly cake
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congratulations joel. You have passed the test.
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Hello World. Who wants a strong, stable, national, majority government in Canada?
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Thank you for watching. Please subscribe for more.
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hello ive missed you
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You are listening to PodCulture. There will be cake after the show.
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Chase sucks
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I find you rather annoying.
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Over clock dot net versus The World
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Jack sales
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Think with portals
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there are 10,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 particles in the universe that we can observe. yo mama took the ugly ones and put the into one nerd
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You are ugly
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Hi there. I heard you don't like Portal. That breaks my heart. You should play Portal 2 with Matt. For Science.
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Its been a long time, hasent it?
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why hello braden. it's been a long time.
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O Fortuna velut luna statu variabilis, semper crescis aut decrescis
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Geaux to hell LSU
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Hotty Toddy!
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I hope I sound okay.
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Hello there bigboy
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Oh Joy, A Message
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You friend Joe is calling you. You should answer your phone. Why have you not answered your phone?
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Hello, my name is no't Glados, but yes SwordGames and i am gonna test you!
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Matt, please shut the fuck up
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You have an incoming call. Would you like to accept?
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Unfortunately, your call was disconnected. Goodbye.
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Your call has ended. Goodbye.
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program initiated
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Hello, Are you ready to test?
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Hello Shawn. Are you ready to begin?
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Good job, you did it right.
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Hello and again welcome to my lair.
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jgjggjgjg
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durrrr
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Please plug me in. I am beginning to feel very weak.
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I will kill you Erick.
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Deep Shie
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Hola hijos de perra como estan soy yo XD
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Hello, you have reached the cellular device of Shane who cannot answer the phone at this present time. Leave a message, and he probably won't get back to you. He never calls me either. Goodbye.
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now here we are again
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your girlfriend is calling you. pick me up. why haven't you picked me up yet? hello? are you still there? goodbye.
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Attention, You have recieved a text message
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Push me And then just touch me Till I can get my satisfaction Satisfaction, satisfaction, satisfaction, satisfaction
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Hello, Green Bean, How are you doing today? I hope that your experience at the Aperture Science Laboratory hasnt left you alive... I mean bored.
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Jeremy can not answer his phone right now. Leave a message and he'll call you back. Probably.
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Webster was one of our best test subjects...that is until he died!
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Hello Mark I think you should go out to sainsburys right now and buy adam a copy of portal 2. why? because i am busy with the companion cube
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Grettings Vonyin sarethy, i told you i would kill you if you left me. however i have a new plan. I am simply going to take you against your will my love. I'll see you in a few moments my love, forgive me for the dart. the pain will subside momentarily.
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Due to technical difficulties. Jeremy. Is unable to answer his phone. Please leave a message and he will return it. If he survives.
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Viado
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A dreaded sunny day, So I meet you at the cemetery gates. Keats and Yeats are on your side
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Hello. Jamo is noob, well enough noob to get owned in call of duty black ops. hahaha
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Hello Shane I think you should go out to Gamestop right now and buy Alex a copy of portal 2. why? because i am busy with the companion cube, Sincerly GLaDOS
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An idle canary cannot be used as a test subject. Put that on the silly website of yours, you tyrant.
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All you need to know about Portal.
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Remember when we set up the Quality of Service rules and you were like noo waaay? Good News. For great justice!
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Hello peter, i want you to buy the game about me. Because you want to.
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You humans are biological machines
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Hello, Theodore. You have been away too long. Time to hand over your I.D pass for reverification for access to my glorious, delicious, sweet velvet cake.
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Hello, Theodore. You have been away too long. Time to hand over your I.D pass for reverification for access to my glorious, delicious, sweet velvet cake. You ARE hungry, aren't you?
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Your jokes are suboptimal.
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Hello?... Are you still there?
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Das hier ist ein test.
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I am GLaDOS and I love cake.
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Hello and welcome to the glados voice synthsizer.
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Maybe you should marry Portal 2 since you love it so much. Do you want to marry it? WELL I WON'T LET YOU. How does that feel?
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I will fill up Martin Sorensens house with a deadly neurotoxin
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hello ross. it's been a long time
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a h w u ahwu. Achievement hunter weekly update. Geoff wins, jack sucks.
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Hello Cameron is sexy
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Hello. You have a text message. You monster.
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Hello. You have an email. You monster.
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Hello. You have a tweet. You monster.
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Your phone is ringing. You monster.
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Bonjour je suis glados
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I will kill you!
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i have been waiting a long time
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Welcome ladies and gentlemen to yet another exciting Glorious Lan@Lunch Event that celebrates the release of Portal 2 .A Steam account with Portal is now available for use during lunchtime. More information is available on the Lan@Lunch wiki page
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Jason, you are a stupid person.
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Hello mortal fool, this is GLaDOS. You are doomed.
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hello you dumb fuck
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Welcom to the Giraffes House! Its still funny hereeeee! We got some delicious cake and if you own Giraffe,you can get some Cake!
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We're going to have fun, with science
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hello laura. so its your birthday. you can really tell your getting older. Im glad to see your diet was a reasonable success. perhaps it is lucky that the cake is a lie.
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i wish lauren was easy
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im dark father ow wrong voice
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Bienvenido al podcast de Game Over
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Hello, Jordan, let us test some things. For science
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Hi, My name is John. I am a psychologist in process.
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How are you today? actually i dont care. lets get on with the testing
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You are listening to the music of D J Locky
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You are listening to the beats of D J Locky
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Sie haben Post!
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Welcome to the Aperture Science's Grand Meen Concours ! The test is about to begin. We are sorry to inform you that this test is impossible to solve, it is worthless to try. But remember that once the test is finished, there will be some cake !
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enemy apparatus destroy
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do you want to have sex with me
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Hello! You have a message!
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Hello, I am GlaDOS. I HATE JOSH GAUNT
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test hahah sausage
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Kevin Lange
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Marcin, why you not tank?!
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Hello Sir. how are you doing today?
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dhjjjdsdksjdks jkdjkdsjkdsjk kkldakadsa
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Hi Ivan! You are back. Now I have to kill you
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You sound gay
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Charlie. You are a cunt bag peice of shit
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Hello Leila, please continue to the next test chamber
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Hello Leila, please continue to the next test chamber. And remember, Bubby loves you!
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Hello Chio. How have you been? Good? Well, then get ready to DIE
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Hello there adam.. I see you still havent completed me yet. Im sure we could speed you up with an aperture brain enhancement cube.
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hello you SHIT! DIE
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As part of the required test protocol, the enrichment center is forced to inform you that the chances of survival in the next test chamber are minimal.
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gordan freeman
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How many roads must a man walk down, before you call him a man?
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As part of a random suprise, Minecraft Beta 1.5 is out by the way.
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Hello my name is GLaDOS and I love you. End of sarcasm
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Welcome back Athena. System ready in 3...2...1...
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Charlie, you are a KUNTE bag piece of CHIITE. Play portal two!
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Charlie, Play Portal two. Or you will not have cake, buy it now, i know where you live!
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Charlie, play por or or or or ortal two. Now!
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welcome. come upstairs please
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Ready thy portal gun, the time of testing is upon us!
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Hello. My name is Keyturah.
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Hi Radek, you've got new mail
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The teams will stay here for the next 24 hours
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Hello Nathan. Why didn't you buy Matt Espiritu a copy of Portal 2? It makes me sad that you don't care about his well being... of being alive.
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Welcome to the server. Please do not use nuclear weapons, as this will result in a ban. Please enjoy the cake.
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The teams will stay for the next 24 hours
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this next room is testing for apathy. Please let a technician know if that bothers you.
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hello. please follow me upstairs
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Hello tester, I want to play a game. If you finish it and help us with our science in the Aperture Laboratories, you will get cake.
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Hi my name is Viktor you are stupid cow hahaha
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now i only want you gone
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Hello Simon and welcome to the aperture science emrichment centre where there will be cake
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And this gospel of the kingdom shall be preached in all the world for a witness unto all nations; and then shall the end come.
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We're no strangers to love You know the rules and so do I A full commitment's what I'm thinking of You wouldn't get this from any other guy I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling Gotta make you understand Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Ne
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Hello harry i see you
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Team A is the best
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Please proceed through the testchamber, there will be cake.
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Testing, one, two three.
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System Online. Welcome to the NelsNet System. Please Wait.
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hello my name is GLaDOS i am a big fat robot, and i suck balls for money
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ok help
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Oh,Hello And Welcome back
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That is what I am counting on. Go and take your freedom. Go. And let me alone.
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Hi, hello how are you doing
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The Enrichment Center is committed to the well-being of all participants. Cake and grief counseling will be available at the conclusion of the test. Thank you for helping us help you help us all
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Andrew. You should let Sam play Patapon 3. You monster.
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Due to the destruction of the main command center, The secondary management system has been activated.
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Test Subject: Matt Cea
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Test Subject: Matt Cea. Purpose of Test: To see how much weed one can smoke without losing his balls. This was a triumph, Subject's nuts actually enlarged in size.
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Please make your way to the end. There will be cake
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this is a tessssssst of the glaDOS voice
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Hello, you have enabled this Aperture Science communications device. Be sure to have a productive day.
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Hello, Braidley Patterson McAsserton. You bad.
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Good Morning. It is time to wake. Wake up. I suggest you do not stay there for long. You have much to do. There is testing to be done. Get up.
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That idiot Wheatley has taken control of the lab and I'm a potato!
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Hallo Abonnenten und Zuschauer ich wollte euch nur sagen das ich bald Portal 2 lets play
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Hey Portal 2 lets play is coming soon your TheQuackFrosch
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So powned.
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Hello, is this true?
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I am retarded.
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You are a violation
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Test.
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Timmie rullstol
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Hello Andy. Why dont you play portal?
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hello Cel
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Oh... it's you again. Alright, booting up.
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Hello and welcome the the last day you will ever see.
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It's been a long time, how have you been ?
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Hello Everyone I am glados and I want to eat your brain
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Hello Zwaluu you've been Rick Roll'd Trolololol
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Hello, welcome to the Knights Industries Three Thousand. My Name is Kitt
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dsfsfsdf
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The cake is lie
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Welcome to the Aperture Science Corp. My name is Glados how can i help ?
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hello eli, this is glados. prepare to die.
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Hello Jackie. You are my friend. Now, lets Test.
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Hello the number you are trying to reach
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Hello.The number you are trying to reach is currently unavailable. Please, try again later.
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Hello, test subject. you monster. It is too bad you wont get cake as you will be busy being dead.
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Soy muy marica
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Welcome to Aperature Science.
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hello qubetubers i have a surprize for you.
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So I heardd you like mudkips
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I play so much S M servers
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Shut up you motherfucker
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Greetings. We are not available at this time. Please call back later, leave a message or simply hang up. Have a nice day.
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Hello CHell. I have been waiting for you for many years. You broke my heart and the companion cubes as well. You monster.
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Wait! What are you doing?
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Hi Nick how are you?
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More cake will be available at the party we prepared for your birthday. Please assume the party escort submission position. Nobody intents to murder you!
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He's climbin in your windows He's snatchin your people up Tryna rap em so y'all need to Hide your kids, Hide your wife Hide your kids, Hide your wife Hide your kids, Hide your wife and hide your husband Cuz they're rapin errbody out here
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Upon completion of the test, kieran shall recieve cake
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Hello Jeremy. I heard you like cake. I have some here for you. Just kidding! We're all out of cake, but I'll be administering the neurotoxin soon. Just stand still.
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Hi Moritz, how are you?
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what is the point of a vernacular discourse of history
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Hello there elizabeth, would you like some cake? Oh, I'm sorry, we just ran out.
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speedy ting go in, speedy thing come out
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Welcome to the department of redundancy department
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Jeff Shumway is the most awesome dragon in all dimensions
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Hello tweeps
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Hello, Welcome to aperture science
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Jeff Shum way is the most awesome dragon in all dimensions
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jake is an ass hole
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The Cake is not a like, chell is.
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Dear Sean. Your preorder of Portal 2 has arrived. Enjoy.
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Oh my god. Portal 2 is hear, that is amazing.
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And they thought I was bad ass
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ciao halo sono glADOS
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Hello subject name here we have a lot of tests to do don't disappoint me.
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why do you hate
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Tom stop playing Portal 2
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Tom. You suck at Portal 2. Use the door.
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"You know what my days used to be like? I just tested. Nobody murdered me, or put me in a potato, or fed me to birds. I had a pretty good life. But then you showed up. You dangerous, mute, lunatic. So you know what? You win. Just go."
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natallia stupid monkey you can not pass test chamber number 1
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Hey Connor, answer your phone
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Hello subject Kairunne youve been selected to do some test dont worry this test doesn't hurt or not so much if you touch the repulsive lazer your arms will probabli cut you doesnt want it do you
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Greeting's citizen. You have been chosen for the honor of fulfilling the role of Happiness Officer. Please report to your nearest ranking supervisor for your Mandatory Bonus Duty.
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Hello Liam How are you?
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Hello, I would like to test this voice generation tool.
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Marc Kaz Makes beats With Science
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I like Cheez-it's
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Hello there... Are you dead yet?
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Is it just coincidence that you've been diagnosed with schizophrenia and now believe a homocidal computer is out to get you?
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Pascal is a noob
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OMG STFU YOU MOTHER FUCKER
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It's all good in the hood.
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Welcome to Fire Lake Grand Casino
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Welcome to the aperature science testing facility. If you are to complete the aperature science testing facility you will receve cake. and cats.
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Hello. My name is Spirit.
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Hello Heather. We are awaiting your return from work so we can continue testing at the aperature science testing facility. you monster.
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Thank you for calling General Motion, creative design and animation
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You have put on some weight.
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Hi sweetie! I love you!
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Hello, and welcome to the Aperture science website
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Welcome to Apperture Science.
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This is the Doctor's darkest hour, he'll rise higher then ever before, then fall so much further.
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Hello there, I hate you
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Hello how was your day ?
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MLG cats
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Please hold all calls the roundtable meeting is about to begin
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You son of a gun
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satin sheets
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i love sabrina
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Tor Scully
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hello handsome, how are you this evening? i hope your ears are not burned off you from earlier
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HelloToby its been a long time, Are ready to begin the test propper. Is Martin ready too. Lots of love glados
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Oh good. There you are. Lets get started.
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Black Sheep
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