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MessageDownloadDate addedDate processed
Hello, I am here to wish Abigail a happy birthday! glub glub glub!
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Hello, I am here to wish Abigail a happy birthday and also reveal her birthday present. Portal one and two. Enjoy the rest of this day, you monster.
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the oatmeal is complete
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Welcome back master.
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woah thats a full rainbow. all the way. double rainbow. oh my god. double rainbow.
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Incoming Instant Message
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You have a new email
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Your battery is in a critical state.
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Device Removed.
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Good-bye master.
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Welcome back master, you have been missed in your absence, it is time to start working again
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Instant Messenger Client online
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Instant Message Incoming
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Welcome to the Aperture Science Enrichment Center Employee Education Seminar 67205
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Denied
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Your battery is reaching a critical level.
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You have a new e mail
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Connection authenticated.
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Now you are thinking with portals
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Device Connection Successful
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Warning. Main power has failed. Auxiliary power activated.
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hello phil you still there?
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Device Connection Failed
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Attention Master, your battery is reaching a critical level.
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Attention Master, your battery has reached a critical level, connect to a power source soon.
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Instant Messaging Client Activated
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Then enrichment center would like to wish Abigail a happy birthday. We would also like to reveal that your present will consist of a copy of portal one and two. Have a good night. You monster. Glub glub glub.
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The enrichment center encourages you
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Congratulations you have been successfully vapourised.
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Hallo du dreckiger schmierwurstiger pissetrinker jaaaaaaaaa
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lube up the butthole and dance the fandango
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Reality check
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that's it i'm done resoning with you
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Let me put it this way, Mr. Amor. The 9000 series is the most reliable computer ever made. No 9000 computer has ever made a mistake or distorted information. We are all, by any practical definition of the words, foolproof and incapable of error.
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Welcome to Modern House Musik
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screw you
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Welcome to the research and development environment
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Hi, How are you ?
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Recognition Failed
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Please wait... killing system loading.
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Device Failed To Load.
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Hey Till! You have been powned again. I'm sorry for you.
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It will kill you.
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Hello and welcome to the aperture science test.
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studio BRUSSEL!
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Goodbye. Commander.
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Sam. You will be escorted to the party by party enforcement officials. Do not resist.
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your aperture science mobile computing device is now ready for use.
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Hello jd
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Help me, I am dieing
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you are a fucking dog
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ROOOOOOOOAR!
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I'm sorry, Patrick, but you must be incinerated for your bad attitude. Nothing personal, just buisiness and for the sake of science.
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My hard drive is malfunctioning. Please excuse my brief absense... I'm back. Where were we... ah, yes, I was about to incinerate you. Now step down from that platform and prepare to die. GLaDOS out.
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Welcome to the Aperture Science Laboratory. We are currently testing the after affects for liquid radium. Oops, I almost forgot to introduce myself. I am GLaDOS, which stands for Genetic Lifeform and Disk Operating System. I must go now. GLaDOS out.
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I like pie. Wait, sorry. That was just a system check... wait. What is a combine soilder doing here? Seriously.
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Hello Mausi. I can not say I do not like you.
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Hello stephen i am here to remind you of your portal gun operation
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I amm iron man. DUNUDUNUDUNDUNDUN DA DA DA!
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hello and remember to always "bzzzzzzzzt" the portal gun
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Hello "test subject name here". please exit the relaxation vault though the portal, portal opening in three....two......one "bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzt"
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HA HA YOU FAIL
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Hello, how are you doing? I'm doing quite fine. I'm glad you didn't ask.
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Hello, and welcome to Black Mesa. Dr. Freeman. Haha, I'm joking. Black Mesa was destroyed and you will be too.
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This is a test, you monsters
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Welcome to Sumak's system
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Hello, Are Bug. If you are getting this, you have officially been selected.
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I hate you. I. Hate. You.
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Your help has been unhelpful. However thank you for working at appature science enrichment center.
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will there be beer? please fuck me
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Hello. I know you are there. Dont try to hide. I will get you. You know who I am. I... am... GLaDOS!!!
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Seriously. what did I do wrong?
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Zidna is better than you all.
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Hello.I am GLaDOS.The truth is enhanced with cake,and the truth will no longer be enhanced in: 3...2...1.
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The Aperture science enrichment center would like to wish Abigail a happy birthday. We would also like to reveal that your present will consist of a copy of portal one and two. Have a good night and happy birthday. You monster. Glub glub glub.
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I am your mother.
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I am on a drug, it's called Charlie Sheen!
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welcome, and goodbye.
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whats good
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The average Wapanese will whine non-stop about how everyone who professes an interest in Japanese "culture" is merely a poser. They will then play their favorite overpriced "Visual Kei" CD and attempt (badly) to mouth the lyrics while snacking loudly on t
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Not anymore
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Not Anymore.
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RaveCraft productions presents
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RaveCraft Productions Presents. Adventures to Everywhere!
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hello andy. how are you? lol
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HA HA HA YOU ARE NOW DOOMED
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Hello and welcome to the enrichment centre hello and
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i regret to inform you but the cake has expired by a few years, eating it will resolve in death. so go ahead and eat it. your doing all of us a favour.
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happy st patricks day
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Hey, Is anybody there?
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A M D Graphics will assimilate you
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Good morning Adrien !
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Jethro McNugget was a fucking retarded Wapanese white trash weeaboo redneck who lived in a trailer park and liked to stalk innocent Asian girls. He went by his fake Japanese nickname Shinji that he got from some random anime show that only like three peop
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The fart will appear in three, two, one
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Hi Iraasta
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I have been sent here to destroy Kristina Knudsen... Or whatever her name is. NO WAIT! She haven't eaten cake lately.
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Are you sure you what to do that
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I have something important to tell you. You don't care do you. Never mind. It isn't important anyways.
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Good morning Dave
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You wont get a cake
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ce faci ba ? welcome to the aperture science
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Remember when the platform was sliding into the fire pit and I was like, goodbye, and you were like, No Way, and then I was like, we pretended we were going to murder you
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hello simon how are you weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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Aeiou Aeiou Aeiou AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAeiou uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh
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hello simon how are you
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The target has been eliminated
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Hehe. You cannot escape now. GlaDOS mad mode activated. Why? I dont know. NOW YOU'RE DEAD! You have no way out!
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Hello, and welcome to Anthony Middle Schools performance of Alice in Wonderland Junior.
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Amazing. You, subject name here, must be the pride of, subject hometown here.
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Your help has been unhelpful.
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However, thank you for working at appature science enrichment center
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hola soy jp con vooooz
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"Still Alive" in my game, Portal is better than Mirrors Edge's "Still Alive". lololololololololo
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This is a test of what this page can do and if it sounds any good
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Hello vons shoppers. The store will be closing in 5 minuets. So please bring all final purchases up front and always thank you for shopping at vons
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Hello, you have reached Vekich family, please leave your name and number and we will call you back
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now, that we have established that you are a effing douche, you can proceed to lick on my balls, yeah
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şpş
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you well die
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Hello, and again, thank you for calling 732-688-2350. Unfortunately, this test subject is currently busy with other pressing matters. Please leave your name and phone number when directed, as well as a brief message. Thank you, please call again later.
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Have you ever felt, a knife, tear through the skin, rip the muscle?
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Have you ever felt, a knife, tear through the skin, rip the muscle, and the bone?
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Have you ever felt, a knife, tear through the skin, rip the muscle, and scape the bone?
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salut, gelflin ! Tu n'as pas été gentille,
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cacca pipi
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Benvenuti nel complesso teta.
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Bienvenidos a Gamers Network Portal, have Fun
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what is done out of love, always take place beyond good and evil
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Hello, and again, thank you for calling 707-463-0766. Unfortunately, this test subject is currently busy with other pressing matters. Please leave your name and phone number when directed, as well as a brief message. Thank you, please call again later
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While I do not agree with what you say, i will fight to the death to defend your right to say it
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Why won't you talk to Ariel?
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Oh good! There you are!
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Kicking in the front seat, sitting in the back seat, making up your mind which seat to take.
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An incoming communication attempt is currently beling received on your mobile device. Let me remind you that Aperture science research strictly forbids the use of external stimuli during the testing process
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cry havoc and let slip the gods of war
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An incoming communication attempt is currently being received on your mobile device. Let me remind you that Aperture science strictly forbids exposure to external stimuli during the testing process. Silence it immediately.
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Hello, and again, thank you for calling subject Richard Anger. This subject is permanently testing the Equipment Recovery Annex, and consequently, is unable to answer. Please leave a message.
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romaanoo lic mai poosii
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you have been a very bad gelflin you are not my friend anymore oops you did not have a friend of course you monster
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hello and aegean wellcome to the test!!!!!
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Its haunting This hold that you have over me I grow so weak I see you And everything around you fades And I can't see You can never know what it is you do to m
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This voicemail
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MATTHEW IS CURRENTLY PARTICIPATING IN AN APERTURE SCIENCE FACILITATED TEST. PLEASE LEAVE YOUR NAME AND NUMBER AFTER THE BEEP. YOUR CALL WILL BE RETURNED AT THE EARLIEST CONVENIENCE.
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Hello Subject you failure. In base 4 I'm Fine!!
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We ask that you do not accept external communications during aperture science experiments.
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holy crap
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Hello. William is not here now. Leave a message.
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For science
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Hello Matt is not available right now
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oh really
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Anton Pettinger is participating in an Aperture Science test and may not be able to get back to you
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hello corey how are you?
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Seth is currently participating in an Aperture Science facilitated test at the Enrichment Centre. He will not be missed.
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Please don't leave me
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HELLO I AAM CHEESE CAKE
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This is a Jareds email. Please do not attempt to email him.
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Mads is unavailable at the moment. Please give your number.
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Where has all the rum gone?
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Nicholas Logan is not available, Please leave a message after the beep.
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Mycall van hell ten. I am going to punch you in the crotch.
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Alex is a stinky loser but face.
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Hello. would you like to type all about it
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subject name here IS CURRENTLY PARTICIPATING IN AN APERTURE SCIENCE FACILITATED TEST
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Sargis
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Ryan IS CURRENTLY PARTICIPATING IN AN APERTURE SCIENCE FACILITATED TEST. PLEASE LEAVE YOUR NAME AND NUMBER AFTER THE BEEP. YOUR CALL WILL BE RETURNED AT THE EARLIEST CONVENIENCE
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William fails at ping pong. Ha ha ha!
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Reddit is currently involved in an aperture science experiment, please leave your message
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this is my name
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Please leave a message.
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Reddit is doen. There is nothing you can do. Goodbye.
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Reddit is down. There is nothing you can do. Goodbye.
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Incoming text message recieved. Decoding successful. Auditory alert deployed successfully.
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"<subject name here> IS CURRENTLY PARTICIPATING IN AN APERTURE SCIENCE FACILITATED TEST. PLEASE LEAVE YOUR NAME AND NUMBER AFTER THE BEEP. YOUR CALL WILL BE RETURNED AT THE EARLIEST CONVENIENCE."
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I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear ha
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what is wrong
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Please enter a message.
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blarg
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I'm sorry, but William cannot answer the phone right now. He is busy enriching his mind with science and is certainly not squandering his time with idle pursuits like video games, needlepoint, or yoga.
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lol glados voice generator
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Welcome to Mazda Six Car Audio
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Hello Joseph
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enjoy my balls please
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If the sequence of divide by n and divide by (n + 1) is periodic, spurious signals appear at the VCO output in addition to the desired frequency. Delta-sigma fractional-n dividers overcome this problem by randomizing the selection of n and (n + 1), while
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hehehe
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Sammy IS CURRENTLY PARTICIPATING IN AN APERTURE SCIENCE FACILITATED TEST. PLEASE LEAVE YOUR NAME AND NUMBER AFTER THE BEEP. YOUR CALL WILL BE RETURNED AT THE EARLIEST CONVENIENCE.
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Shane IS NOT AVAILABLE AT THIS TIME. PLEASE LEAVE A MESSAGE. Good-Bye.
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Vincent is currently participating in an Apature Science testing program and will return your call as soon as possible.
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subject name here IS CURRENTLY PARTICIPATING IN AN APERTURE SCIENCE FACILITATED TEST. PLEASE LEAVE YOUR NAME AND NUMBER AFTER THE BEEP. YOUR CALL WILL BE RETURNED AT THE EARLIEST CONVENIENCE.
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We don't know what it does
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This is a test of the aperture science voice generator.
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Hello, I am Daniel Leapman. Nice to meet you.
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hsksjd
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why hello there mere mortal
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Jonathan IS CURRENTLY PARTICIPATING IN AN APERTURE SCIENCE FACILITATED TEST. PLEASE LEAVE YOUR NAME AND NUMBER AFTER THE BEEP. YOUR CALL WILL BE RETURNED AT THE EARLIEST CONVENIENCE
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hello there stranger
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IS CURRENTLY PARTICIPATING IN AN APERTURE SCIENCE FACILITATED TEST. PLEASE LEAVE YOUR NAME AND NUMBER AFTER THE BEEP. YOUR CALL WILL BE RETURNED AT THE EARLIEST CONVENIENCE
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Cameron is currently in an Apeture Science Test. Please leave a message
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Your desired recipient is currently in an Apeture Science Test. Please leave a message
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hi who are you
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Welcome home, Harry.
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IS CURRENTLY PARTICIPATING IN AN APERTURE SCIENCE FACILITATED TEST. PLEASE LEAVE YOUR NAME AND NUMBER AFTER THE BEEP. YOUR CALL WILL BE RETURNED AT THE EARLIEST CONVENIENC
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When I said there will be cake I lied. The cake is a lie
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Help my hair is on fire
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Hello Nick, I'm sorry but I have to kill you,
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Insert name here cannot come to the phone right now. Please leave your name and number and Insert name here will surely get back to you
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wat do you want
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DAVID IS CURRENTLY PARTICIPATING IN AN APERTURE SCIENCE FACILITATED TEST. PLEASE LEAVE YOUR NAME AND NUMBER AFTER THE BEEP. YOUR CALL WILL BE RETURNED AT THE EARLIEST CONVENIENCE.
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penus
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you don't know pried
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IS CURRENTLY PARTICIPATING IN AN APERTURE SCIENCE FACILITATED TEST. PLEASE LEAVE YOUR NAME AND NUMBER AFTER THE BEEP. YOUR CALL WILL BE RETURNED AT THE EARLIEST CONVENIENCE.
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all niggers must die
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jj]
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kk
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Your number cannot be completed as dialled.
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HEY REDDIT!
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hello nathan how are you
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texto
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Hello. Welcome to my show. I'm glad that you could cooo-oo-oo-ome.
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hello there how are you
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You have been selected to poop jelly beans
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hello there you amazing subject
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This test is testing the ability of a test message to generate a test vocal facsimilie of GlaDos
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<subject name here> IS CURRENTLY PARTICIPATING IN AN APERTURE SCIENCE FACILITATED TEST. PLEASE LEAVE YOUR NAME AND NUMBER AFTER THE BEEP. YOUR CALL WILL BE RETURNED AT THE EARLIEST CONVENIENCE.
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You have reached the desk of Logan Russell, Electrical Engineer Extraordinaire.
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weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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<subject name here> IS CURRENTLY PARTICIPATING IN AN APERTURE SCIENCE FACILITATED TEST. PLEASE LEAVE YOUR NAME AND NUMBER AFTER THE BEEP. YOUR CALL WILL BE RETURNED AT THE EARLIEST CONVENIENCE
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Subject name here. Is currently away eating cake. Please try again later.
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Hello. We are currently unavailable. Please leave a message and we will notify you of your successful application. Have a good day.
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hu
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hello, welcome to the apperature science
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ste away from the pooper
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Hello hank, welcome to the apperature science testing facility.
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Hello. Phil is currently unable to answer his phone. Please leave a message and he will call you back.
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Subject Name Here is currently engaged in an aperture Science Facilitated Test. Please leave your message after the beep. Subject Name Here will return your call soon.
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Mads is awesome.
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Glados has arrived.
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ok le go ten time ten
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RUDY IS CURRENTLY PARTICIPATING IN AN APERTURE SCIENCE FACILITATED TEST. PLEASE LEAVE YOUR NAME AND NUMBER AFTER THE BEEP. YOUR CALL WILL BE RETURNED AT THE EARLIEST CONVENIENCE.
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wooohooo
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I'm s-s-sorry, Steve is currently engaged in some Aperture Science research. If you ever hear from him again, it was successful.
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Hi, what are you doing?
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ha ha this tool lets you type in some text
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WINDPOOTERWINDPOOTERWINDPOOTERWINDPOOTERWINDPOOTERWINDPOOTER
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RJackson meat is gross
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The Enrichment Center regrets to inform you that you have a message. Make no attempt to open the said message
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Riet is not available at the moment. Please leave a message after the beep.
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I hate final exams, freedom in four hours
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inside. we are inside.
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hello friends
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This was a triumph. it's hard to overstate my satisfaction.
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Gem I think I've teleported my shlong into your hole
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Brandon, IS CURRENTLY PARTICIPATING IN AN APERTURE SCIENCE FACILITATED TEST. PLEASE LEAVE YOUR NAME AND NUMBER AFTER THE BEEP. YOUR CALL WILL BE RETURNED AT THE EARLIEST CONVENIENCE
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It's been a long time... How have you been?
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hello how are u
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You have reached the voicemail of David Gerdeman. Please leave your name and number and he will get back to you if he returns from this aperture science facilitated test.
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We do what we must, because, we can.
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Hello. I am awesome
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testing the portal 2 voice
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this is science
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tset
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Hel Hello everybody welcome to CSTV . My name is Thai I'm here for long time nice to see you good bye
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Hello, how are you doing today
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BRANDON IS CURRENTLY PARTICIPATING IN AN APERTURE SCIENCE FACILITATED TEST. PLEASE LEAVE YOUR NAME AND NUMBER AFTER THE BEEP. YOUR CALL WILL BE RETURNED AT THE EARLIEST CONVENIENCE.
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zsdfg
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You have reached 410, 608, 0821. Jon is currently participating in an aperture science facilitated test. Please leave your name, number and blood type after the beep. An aperture science representative will be with you shortly
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Hello, you have called
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Congratulations you found me
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wazzap
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what's happening
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alakazam
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ack ack ack
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the cake is a truth
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you cant handle the cake
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the cake will set you free
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Rennet
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for science. you monster
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Oh, hello. Camiel is unable to anser your phonecall right now.
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Who would like some delicious cake
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I love the smell of napalm in the morning
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kareem
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hellio
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CURRENTLY PARTICIPATING IN AN APERTURE SCIENCE FACILITATED TEST
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OH GOD FINALS
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Welcome to AKQA
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meowwww
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Hello... caller. The receiver... Alex... is currently busy. Please leave a message after the tone
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Oh really?
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There is a text
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Conor cannot answer the phone right now. Please leave a message after the tone. You monster.
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Hello there. Move to the next room.
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DID YOU JUST TOUCH THE APERTURE SCIENCE WE-DON'T-KNOW-WHAT-IT-DOES???
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hello this user is not here
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tai heng IS CURRENTLY PARTICIPATING IN AN APERTURE SCIENCE FACILITATED TEST.
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stop touching me.
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daisy, daisy give me your answer do
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the quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog. then ate him.
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Mikołaj Barełkowski jest zajebisty
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awooba
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This is a test of the emergency Portal voice generation system.
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do i feel lucky? well do ya punk?
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I serve the user.
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go away.
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hello. there you are. it's been a while since we last met.
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Subject name here Is unavailable. Please leave a message after the beep. When you are finished recording, please dispose of your communication device and await further instructions.
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Hello and welcome to the minecraft center please take off your shoes
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Hello and welcome to the minecraft center
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Minecraft is the best game ever
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hello science
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SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY
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SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY!!
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This is the most baller shit ever
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sdfsf
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Shweta IS NOT AVAILABLE AT THIS TIME. PLEASE LEAVE A MESSAGE. Good-Bye.
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fun with science
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Mister Winters es ahora moderador de El Focoforo
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Akash IS CURRENTLY PARTICIPATING IN AN APERTURE SCIENCE FACILITATED TEST. PLEASE LEAVE YOUR NAME AND NUMBER AFTER THE BEEP. YOUR CALL WILL BE RETURNED AT THE EARLIEST CONVENIENCE.
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Hello ian I'm gladdos
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Hello. My name is Marc. This is my voice mail box.
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Hello toofle. Who's a good girl?
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did you just touch the apperture science we-don't-know-what-it-does thing?
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Hello kevin
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hello jenny
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hello jenny, it is time to do science
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hello and welcome to the internet
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Hello there, long time no see.
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hello human, lets begin
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my name is marko diekstra i welcome you into my world
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Jon IS CURRENTLY PARTICIPATING IN AN APERTURE SCIENCE FACILITATED TEST. PLEASE LEAVE YOUR NAME AND NUMBER AFTER THE BEEP. YOUR CALL WILL BE RETURNED AT THE EARLIEST CONVENIENCE
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Let's have fun with science.
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Luka is not near the phone. Leave a message.
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Subject Name Here is not available at the moment. Please leave a message after the beep.
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Nick Lavender IS CURRENTLY PARTICIPATING IN AN APERTURE SCIENCE FACILITATED TEST. PLEASE LEAVE YOUR NAME AND NUMBER AFTER THE BEEP. YOUR CALL WILL BE RETURNED AT THE EARLIEST CONVENIENCE.
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oh shit son
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Subject,Name,Here, IS CURRENTLY PARTICIPATING IN AN APERTURE SCIENCE FACILITATED TEST. PLEASE LEAVE YOUR NAME AND NUMBER AFTER THE BEEP. YOUR CALL WILL BE RETURNED AT THE EARLIEST CONVENIENCE.
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science
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Your call is important to us. Please hold.
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la gordita fea es burra
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Sammy IS CURRENTLY PARTICIPATING IN AN APERTURE SCIENCE FACILITATED TEST. PLEASE LEAVE YOUR NAME AND NUMBER AFTER THE BEEP. YOUR CALL WILL BE RETURNED AT THE EARLIEST CONVENIENCE
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what's up, emre? do you want to play a game?
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Amund IS CURRENTLY PARTICIPATING IN AN APERTURE SCIENCE FACILITATED TEST. PLEASE LEAVE YOUR NAME AND NUMBER AFTER THE BEEP. YOUR CALL WILL BE RETURNED AT THE EARLIEST CONVENIENCE.
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Blake is not here right now. Please leave a message and he. will. call. you. back.
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IS CURRENTLY PARTICIPATING IN AN APERTURE SCIENCE FACILITATED TEST.
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What is this? Does it actually work?
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YOUR PARTY IS CURRENTLY PARTICIPATING IN AN APERTURE SCIENCE FACILITATED TEST. PLEASE LEAVE YOUR NAME AND NUMBER AFTER THE BEEP. YOUR CALL WILL BE RETURNED AT THE EARLIEST CONVENIENCE
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BRENT IS CURRENTLY PARTICIPATING IN AN APERTURE SCIENCE FACILITATED TEST. PLEASE LEAVE YOUR NAME AND NUMBER AFTER THE BEEP. YOUR CALL WILL BE RETURNED AT THE EARLIEST CONVENIENCE.
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SUBJECT PEDRO IS CURRENTLY PARTICIPATING IN AN APERTURE SCIENCE FACILITATED TEST. PLEASE LEAVE YOUR NAME AND NUMBER AFTER THE BEEP. YOUR CALL WILL BE RETURNED AT THE EARLIEST CONVENIENCE.
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Curtis is unavailable.
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Hello, and welcome to the simulation
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Bridgewater is driving me insane.
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Welcome, professor
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Oh joy, Sean is doing much better than you.
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You are the reason I am pro choice.
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arthur sucks and will never be as great as kyler
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Hello there stranger.
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Greetings, Master.
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Hello, my master.
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Were going to have fun! With science!
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You Have Received A Message From Un Known
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lets have fun with science
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Welcome Home
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I'm sorry. James is currently participating in an apeture science experiment with an apeture science we-don't-know-what-it-does. Please leave a message after the explosion.
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You Have Received A Message From Un Known
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The fire will be very hot
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Hello, and again, welcome to the Aperture Science Computer-aided Enrichment Center. We hope your brief detention in the relaxation vault has been a pleasant one. Your specimen has been processed, and we are now ready to begin the test proper.
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DID YOU JUST TOUCH THE APERTURE SCIENCE WE-DON'T-KNOW-WHAT-IT-DOES?
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Hello, Tony is not available right now. Please call back again later, or not, I don't care.
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Robert can't come to the phone right now.
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test test stes
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Hello. You've reached the voicemail of Allan. He is busy doing science. Please leave a message, and he will reply if he has survived. Thank you.
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If you do not enter any email, you will not be notified and will have to check
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what do you mean
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Hello. I am not here right now.
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we're going to have fun with science
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Bonnie Ryde bums dogs
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-CAS- says Thank you for using his Programm. Hello i'm Trulus and im your Partner
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Hello, How are you? I have been fine. You know, ever since you greifed me in mine craft. It is alright, i will forgive you... when you are dead
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How about a nice big cup of shut the fuck up
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That is a very nice house you have there. It would be a shame if ssssssssomthing where to happen to it
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atif is the biggest loser, hahahaha
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Welcome to Ian's facebook page, we hope your stay is a pleasant one.
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I am afraid I cannot let you do that.
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Oshawott is the best generation starter.
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Hello, Master. Did you know that you are amazing? People appreciate you and your singing is progressing very positively. I am leaving now. Have a great day!
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Hello, this is a test. You have a new email. You have a new call.
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subject name here. is my favorite subect ever.
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This is really weird, because the voice of glados are awesome
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Hello Octavia Why lee , And welcome to the Aperture Science Testing Facility.
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You have a new email.
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You have a new text.
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What's this?
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Welcome weak humans.
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i hate charlotte
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fecal shoot
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you rule
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Your desired recipient is currently using Science please leave a message
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m e t h o d man
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Hello and again welcome to my first let'sPlay.
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lula
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This was a triumph i'm making a note here huge success
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desu desu desu desu desu desu desu
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Tatum, Please answer your this telephone call.
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Now chart the data and double check the machines Labs don't use beta-dine, use chlorihexidine so before we ajoune Think of all the things you learned for the people that are still alive
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I'm really so happy I'm being so sincere right now even though took my test and missed some. Remember the the saying All bleeding stops eventually and though your brains turned into mush I was so happy for you!
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we do what we must because we can, for the good of all of us except for the ones who are dead, but there's no sense crying over every mistake, you just keep on trying until you run out of cake. and the Nursing gets done and you change another bum
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deerp
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hello, it's a me, a mario
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Hey there everyone
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Hey, how's your uni work going?
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We are going to have so much fun, for science
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Porn
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sadasdasd
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treeeeees
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Hello, are you making satisfactory progress with your uni work? Aperture science wishes to remind you that all work and no play makes jack a dull boy.
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HELLO. I am glad to see that you are safe.
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Weeaboos are parasitic humans who are obsessed with Japanese culture. Their reason of being exised because of such medias like anime, yaoi , JRPG, and the way people dressed in Japan. They're all fucking ignorant.
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Hey, you there. Yes you. You are the most pathetic fanboy I'd ever met.
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Or you will wish you could die
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FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK
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Rowsdower. Rowsdower. Rowsdower. Rowsdower. Rowsdower. Rowsdower. Rowsdower. Rowsdower. Rowsdower. Rowsdower.
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All you base are belong to us
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It's Mahvel baby! Oh he’s so Pringles, where yo curleh mustache at?
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Appercure science warns you. It's your grandma.
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Comp PC Help Subscribe Mother Fuckers Fuck the Police
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Happy Birthday, Silvia. please feel free to enjoy this cake which your boyfriend found… even though it was impossible… since the cake … may have … could have been… hmm never mind enjoy the cake … you monster.
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Ahoj jsem GLAdos a tohle je zkouška mého českého hlasu.
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Blasphemy … Jono did not go to far . this is pure win … on a side note he is awesome.
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Happy Birthday, Silvia. please feel free to enjoy this cake which your boyfriend found, even though it was impossible, since the cake, may have, could have been, hmm never mind enjoy the cake, you monster
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Co robisz Noel?
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Blasphemy , Jono did not go to far, This is pure win, on a side note he is awesome
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Witaj Noel, dlaczego byles nie grzeczny?
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Hello, Beauchamp Baker. I am GLaDOS. You are lucky to be here.
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“ Hello, Beauchamp Baker. I am GLaDOS. You are lucky to be here.
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Hello there, Beauchamp.
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State and local statutory regulations prohibit us from revealing the entire nature of the experiment you are participating in today, but be informed that it may involve physics, psychology, thermodynamics, pharmacology, and non-Euclidean geometry.
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Godlessness. Let me say that again... Godlessness. It wasn't the war they started. It wasn't the plague they created.It was Judgement. No one escapes their past. No one escapes Judgement.
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Subject Name Here is not available at the moment. Please leave a message after the beep, goodbye
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Jono your phone is ringing, you should anwser quickily, or you will not get any cake. Anwser you phone, because seriousily what else do you have to do today, ring ring ring, RING RING RING, why wont you answer. do you hate cake, do you not wan't some cake
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Hi, this is gabe newell, welcome to team fortress 2, after 9 years in development hopefully it will be worth the weight
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Jono Atkinson Is currently participating in an aperture science facilitated test, if you want cake please leave your name and message after the beep, goodbye
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Jono your phone is ringing, you should answer quickly, or you will not get any cake. Answer you phone, because seriously what else do you have to do today, ring ring ring, RING RING RING, why don’t you answer. Do you hate cake, do you not want some cake
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Windows movie maker
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Do you want cake?
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living la vida loca
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rsvfsf
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Hello, get ready to die. HAHAHAHA
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Apature science. We do what we must becouse we can. Enjoy the movie.
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suck my huge you know what
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This is probably what I was looking for.
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If your name is Eric, press one
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If you lost an I pod, press one
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If you would like to retrieve the I pod, press one
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Hello lucid. You've been a very bad hacker.
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Hello this is an automated message for Tabitha Trite your momma sucks pepe and sprays while she does it
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Carsten, RK, Nabilla, Catherine and George will all be sent for testing. Good luck... Try not to die too quickly.
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helow there. how are you.
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Do you ever feel like a plastic bag Drifting throught the wind Wanting to start againDo you ever feel, feel so paper thin Like a house of cardsOne blow from caving in Do you ever feel already buried deep Six feet under screamBut no one seems to hear
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a thing Do you know that there's still a chance for you Cause there's a spark in you You just gotta ignite the light And let it shine Just own the night Like the Fourth of July Cause baby you're a firework Come on show 'em what you're worthMake
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Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!" As you shoot across the sky-y-y Baby you're a firework Come on let your colors burst Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!" You're gunna leave 'em fallin' down-own-own You don't have to feel like a waste of space You're original, cannot be
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replaced If you only knew what the future holds After a hurricane comes a rainbow Maybe you're reason why all the doors are closed So you could open one that leads you to the perfect road Like a lightning bolt, your heart will blow
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And when it's time, you'll know You just gotta ignite the light And let it shine Just own the nightLike the Fourth of July Cause baby you're a firework Come on show 'em what you're worthMake 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!" As you shoot across the sky-y-y Baby
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Test one two
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you're a firework Come on let your colors burst Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!" You're gonna leave 'em all in awe-awe-awe Boom, boom, boomEven brighter than the moon, moon, moon It's always been inside of you, you, you And now it's time to let it through
Download03/19/2011Not recorded
Cause baby you're a firework Come on show 'em what your worth Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!" As you shoot across the sky-y-y Baby you're a firework Come on slet your colors burst Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"You're gonna leave 'em all in awe-awe-awe
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Boom, boom, boom Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon Boom, boom, boom Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon
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hey man
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Hello. welcome back to aperture sciences
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high
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hello man
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hedasddsallo man
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I am so happy for you. Now burn
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hello, I am busy on the toilet at the moment. Please do not inhale as the gasses are fatal.
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Gladymon
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kill stealer!
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DJ Phannacies. deejay fannasees. d j fana seize
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spartan this is rookie. you couldve stoped this but now look? this is all your fault and now he is going to die
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nice selection
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rrrrrrr i hate you
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quick learning is a best school to learn english true karen yes or no
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Which bar is terribad?
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Ragnix is a retarded idiotic retard.
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Whoa that's a full rainbow, all the way
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Welcome to the Aperture Science computer enrichment center.
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It's over nine thousand.
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DJ Pony rules the danceefloor.
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divide by zeroooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo...
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Welcome to Social Mediarts
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we are going to have fun even if it kills you
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Hello,welcome to the aperture science labs.
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Welcome into the war simulator. You need to learn how to fight private. So prepare for assault and be ready.
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dfdfdf
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Mamma ci sei?
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Es... inevitable.
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Is...inevitable.
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A negro has invaded my diaphram
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I hope that we can put our differences behind us. For Science. You Monster
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michelle pick up the cell. do you want cake? Chell wanted cake but there was none
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victim
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Hello, beetch. I want to dance with your dog's mother.
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which your boyfriend found, even though it was impossible, because the cake may have, could have been, lie , but now you know it isn't, because look here is cake. mmmmmm it looks so moist. Now enjoy the cake you mosnster
Download03/20/2011Not recorded
which your boyfriend found, even though it was impossible, because the cake may have, could have been, lie , but now you know it isn't, because look here is cake. mmmmmm it looks so moist. Now enjoy the cake, you monster
Download03/20/2011Not recorded

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