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MessageDownloadDate addedDate processed
Hi bob
Download02/26/2011Not recorded
thank you for calling global america. your call is important to us! if you know your parties extension you may dial it at anyti!
Download02/27/2011Not recorded
good morning james. it's 4:30am time to wake up.
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Proximity ALERT.
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Accessing file number seven nine four two six zero EY KAY EY KILL FILE
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I love my large clit!
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actung!
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actung
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do not fall back
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Do not fall back.
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Do not go back.
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we
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im here
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I'm here
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cover me
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Cover
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negetive
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affirmative
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right away
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imcoming
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Thanks for listening crabcast
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fuck yo healer
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i go to mean you bleato
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Boom. Headshot.
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we can put our differences behind us. For science. You monster
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this is a test of the speech synthesizer.
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Hello, and thank you for playing Portal. You may proceed to the nearest nearest nearest grr Time to Die.
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Tiny is very leet, man
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Hello Adam. We are pleased about your work at Aputure Science Labs. We are going to give you a promotion (There will be cake).
Download02/27/2011Not recorded
you have just had the pleasure of watching element tech HD be sure to subscribe
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Hello, Hello, Hello and oh it's you well you may have done a littel harm to me but why what did I ever do to you?
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we made this triumph. just for you, FlaSh.G
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zoli
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it feels like i have lost this fight
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Exposure to the button
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Poly my darling I’m making a note here: Wow, N-sides! It’s not hard to add up all your angles, Your interior angles That’s N minus two times 180 N’s the number of the sides like the four on square
Download02/27/2011Not recorded
motivational speaker
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That's just fucked up
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Oh no
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hola lucas
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oh shit. i think i just pooted. did you hear that? i pooted. that is not good.
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Was hast du denn bean?
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Glacier is a awesome person. the neurotoxin is tasty
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Welcome to Chaos Drop Zone.
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weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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My name is William Shaum
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yes...who made this clip?
Download02/28/2011Not recorded
ADAM WHY ARE YOU GETTING ANGRY
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PLEASE GET THE FUCK OUT. K.
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Do not worry about life, it ends quickly enough
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jeg elsker ikke dig
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Luke, You have killed me. Why have you killed me luke? I dont want to kill you...
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Test message incoming. You must be so popular. Getting messages all the time. Luke Burnett doesnt get messages. Because HEEE is not as popular as you.
Download02/28/2011Not recorded
hello and welcome to the aperture science enrichment center. please enjoy the cake and dont forget to bake your friends. hahaha. that was a joke
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New item available
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Let it be clearly understood that if this is not a military school, it is a boarding school with military uniforms..
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It is time for gootee
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Fitter, happier, more productive, comfortable, not drinking too much, regular exercise at the gym (3 days a week),
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hello and welcom to apeture science.
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I'm a firin my lazer. Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
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Hello Jason.
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Login successful. User 01001010 identified. Welcome back, Jason. The portable Interstice Laboratories workstation is ready.
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HELLO [SUBJECT NAME HERE] AND AGAIN, WELCOME TO NEW GAME PLUS, THE DEFINITIVE SHOW FOR ALL OF YOUR RECRETIONAL LISTENING NEEDS
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FOR YOUR OWN SAFETY, AND THE SAFETY OF OTHERS, PLEASE REFAIN FROM-
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ola lombardo como te a ido
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my nombre es glados y te destruire para siempre lombardo
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oh my goodness i hate you
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Dammit Chris
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Logging out user 01001010. Securing the portable Interstice Laboratories workstation. Authentication will be required for further use.
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Hello folks, i´m a robotic organic thing based on the newest computer technolohycs. Fuck you!
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executing command
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Battery level, critical. Please connect the portable Interstice Laboratories workstation to a supplimental power source to continue operation.
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dj junior
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dj boris
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Ich mag dich aber ich töte dich trozdem
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Boom! Headshot!
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Please all the employees leave the Aperture Science testing observation area.
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Please, take the Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device and the Aperture Science V Suit to protect you. Good Luck!
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Welcome Johannes, have a nice day
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welcome to minecraft portal version
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olololo
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hello subject and welcom lets start with the text
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ring ring. Christopher do you hear me? Your iPhone requires your attention. You never listen to me. Do you hate me? RING RING! stupid humans
Download02/28/2011Not recorded
Login successful. User 01010110 identified. Welcome, Van. This device is now under the control of the Interstice Laboratories remote device control system. You have been granted temporary administrative control of the device.
Download02/28/2011Not recorded
Logging out user 01010110. Returning control of the device to the Interstice Laboratories remote device control system. Re authentication will be required for further local use.
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ring ring. Christopher do you hear me? Your iPhone requires your attention. You never listen to me. Do you hate me? ring ring! stupid humans.
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ring ring. Christopher do you hear me? Your I Phone requires your attention. You never listen to me. Do you hate me? ring ring! stupid humans.
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My name is so totaly not GLaDOS
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exiting
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shit balls
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We hope we will see you again, preferably in one piece. Be careful. 
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I think we can put our differences aside, for science, you monster
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you are glados noooooooooo
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Welcome back Tom. We are ready to preform science.
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om nom nom eat my nipples
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The person you are looking for is not here. Leave a message in 3, 2, 1
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james is the coolest kid alive and deserves a metal
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Welcome back Tom. The system has been activated and will be available shortly.
Download02/28/2011Not recorded
All processes have been stopped. Thank you for visiting the Aperature Science Enrichment Center.
Download02/28/2011Not recorded
Login successful. User 01010110 identified. Welcome, Tom. This device is now under the control of the Interstice Laboratories remote device control system. You have been granted temporary administrative control of the device
Download02/28/2011Not recorded
Connect to power source or I will die, you monster.
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I am GLaDOS. Your argument is invalid.
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Te a llegado un mensaje
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Come back soon bye
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Error Fatal compruebe el sistema
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New Message Received
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Hi, this is Glados, Alexis can't talk to you now, so pleaze leave a message, and don't text him, it's gay
Download02/28/2011Not recorded
Hi, this is Glados, Alexis can't talk to you now, so pleaze leave him a message, and don't text him, it's gay
Download02/28/2011Not recorded
Welcome to The Aperture Enrichment Centers. Please eat this... WAFFLE PARTY!
Download02/28/2011Not recorded
You have reached the communication device of Alexander Serret. Alex is unable to answer right now. Please leave a message and he will get back to you as soon as possible.
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Spider you are so tasty. Reactivate my power and we will dine, this will be such a tasty meal.
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MEGA TRAM would like to announce our new intercontinental line. Riders from los angelas can reach toyko in 6 hours on our record breaking 8806 kilometer bridge.
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Mi Rutina Diara
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Hello I am GLaDOS. I will not murder you.
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hello andy
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hello, i don't hate you. On the contrary, I still love you. Please come back
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D I G I T A L M U N C H I E S digital munchies oh yeah
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nine five one eight five two three one three zero
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Let the bass kick.
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Greetings and salutations <your nick here>, welcome to chat! With some regards, Techzen.
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what is you major malfunction numbnuts
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I'm going to fucking kill you.
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Now, drop the bass
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Now. Drop the base.
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i am smarter than you. You Dump ass
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Hello Master. How can i assist you?
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Nick Bruksos. You are a huge ass hole
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I T A media at THE D A C C its your future change it today. See what we can do for you, come in and check it out today.
Download03/01/2011Not recorded
i have to find something to make Linkirl Alive !
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security
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Hello, and welcome. You are watching suicide gamers
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mmm come fuck me baby
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Hey Jo. Someone sent you a message
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Login verified. The Interstice Laboratories portable workstation is ready.
Download03/01/2011Not recorded
Securing the Interstice Laboratories portable workstation. Administrator verification will be required for further use.
Download03/01/2011Not recorded
Remember last time, when you murdered me? You destroyed my supply of deadly neurotoxin. Now I have no deadly neurotoxin and no laboratory to flood with deadly neurotoxin. Don't worry, I can think of a more creative way to test you this time. You monster.
Download03/01/2011Not recorded
Remember last time, when you murdered me? You destroyed my supply of deadly nurotoxin. Now I have no deadly nurotoxin and no laboratory to flood with deadly nurotoxin. Don't worry, I can think of a more creative way to test you this time...... You monster
Download03/01/2011Not recorded
carlos gonzalez
Download03/01/2011Not recorded
Remember last time, when you murdered me? You destroyed my supply of deadly nerotoxin. Now I have no deadly nerotoxin and no laboratory to flood with deadly nerotoxin. Don't worry, I can think of a more creative way to test you this time...... You monster
Download03/01/2011Not recorded
I WHIP MY HAIR BACK AND FORTH I WHIP MY HAIR BACK AND FORTH I WHIP MY HAIR BACK AND FORTH
Download03/01/2011Not recorded
Hello and, welcome to the aperture science enrichment center. I am GLaDOS, mostly known as genetic lifeform and disk! operating system? please proceed to... the next test!! chamber...
Download03/01/2011Not recorded
Hey Jo................Someone sent you a message
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Hey Jo Someone sent you a message
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Hey Johannes Someone sent you a message
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Charlie, Look out for the bleh bleh bleh!!!!!!!!!
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Hello, Jeff. Its been awhile.
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That made me sad, and it earned you an unsatisfactory mark on your record.
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I guess I should thank you for incinerating my morality core. Now I can think of a much more creative way to test you this time.
Download03/01/2011Not recorded
I'm sure we can put our differences behind us, if you preorder Portal 2. It will be fun. For me.
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Don't you have work to do?
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I hope you know, that I will dominate you, fuck you like a tiger, and never, ever call you again. But you'd like that wouldn't you?
Download03/01/2011Not recorded
Hi, I am alive and you too. Oh well the battle start again
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John Brown was born on May 9th, 1800, in Torrington, Connecticut. He spent most of his childhood in Ohio where he was taught in local schools to resent necessary education and by his parents to worship the Bible and hate slavery. He was married at the age
Download03/01/2011Not recorded
Hello, and welcome to FWA Laboratories
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Jeffrey
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Hi, i'am Throben, i really like you and looking for to kill you
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Hi there. I'm Cindy. I'm the perfect female type 18 to 25
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Hello i am Kieran
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HELLO, AND WELCOME TO THE APERTURE SCIENCE ENRICHMENT CENTER. Now if you you don't mind I will eat YOUR CAKE!!!!!
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New message.
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Excuse me but you just received a text
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Excuse me but you just received a text. You Monster
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Incoming call.
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Fuck you, Chell. I know you feel guilty for tearing me apart, monster.
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Hello, I am Julianyein and i show you mi video.
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im diane
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Hello, Devon. You have failed to realize that the cake is, and shall always remain, a lie.
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penile intermission
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Hey! What are you up to?
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The Enrichment Center would like to inform you that your father has sent you a text message. Please answer it to proceed into the next test chamber, after which you will recieve cake.
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I like pie.
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Hello, I am GLaDOS. I am an electronic bad woman.
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AWDWADAWD
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The Enrichment Center would like to inform you that your father is calling your phone. Please answer it to proceed into the next test chamber
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happy birthday to you happy birthday to you happy birthday subject name here happy birthday to you now first you will be backed then there will be cake
Download03/02/2011Not recorded
jordi is gay
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You´ve got a message. Go on and read it.
Download03/02/2011Not recorded
Hello "SUBJECT NAME HERE", you have recieved a text massege. Maybe it is from your best friend the companion cube? Just kidding. Of course it is not because you murdered him. Go on and read it quickly in order to get cake. Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Download03/02/2011Not recorded
You have recieved a text massage from your best friend the companion cube. Oh wait, that can not be because you killed him! Anyway, go on and read it in order to get cake!
Download03/02/2011Not recorded
You have recieved a text massage from your best friend the companion cube. Oh wait, that can not be because you killed him! Anyway, go on and reed it in order to get cake!
Download03/02/2011Not recorded
Hello "SUBJECT NAME HERE", you have recieved a text massege from your best friend the companion cube. Oh wait, that can´t be because you killed him! However, you must reed it to get cake!
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Loise...Loiiiiissseee...... haaa-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u~
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Welcome to this tutorial on rhino-3d and v-ray
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Hi there, I'm chirpy!
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Hi there, i'm chirpy
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proceed to highlighted route where the test will begin after the test there will be cake and death by fire
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recalculating the route sense you are no good at following instructions you are a horrible test subject and will not receive cake after the test only death by fire
Download03/02/2011Not recorded
there is traffic ahead so you should find another route maybe i will help you maybe not
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make a u-turn when you want to get back on track or be incinerated
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the next test area
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Welcome to the fear corp research center. You are not authorized to be here. Activating synthesizer defense system. Have a nice day.
Download03/02/2011Not recorded
Please pick up the phone as you are recieving a call. It could be important.
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SUBJECT NAME HERE - you are receiving a phone call,pick it up for free cake
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Pick up your phone, they're calling you about the cake. its not a lie.
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my name is amy and i need this for school.
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Hello Vicki, if thats even your real name. Im GlaDOS and Im here to take your job.
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My monkey loves bananas
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Thats you! Thats how dumb you sound! You're not smart, your not a scientist, your not a doctor, YOUR NOT EVEN A FULL TIME EMPLOYEE! Where did your life go so wrong? ARRRR I HATE YOU!
Download03/02/2011Not recorded
hello, how have you been dirtbag?
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matt stall
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Hi, I am Glados. Welcome do Portal game.
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Happy Birthday to you! I hear you're turning 30. Certainly I am happy for you. Lots of humans continue to be viable past their expiration date.
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three, two, one
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Don't put your hand in there
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STARTING NOW, THERE'S GOING TO BE A LOT LESS CONVERSATION AND A LOT - MORE - KILLING.
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Hello Hannah. It is time for you to be tested.
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hello you have a text message
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Why you dont leave a comment?
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Good morning, and we- That's why I always say Black Mesa fails. I mean, who installs a monotone vox-machine in an entire facility? I mean, come on now.
Download03/03/2011Not recorded
BEAT TRAP
Download03/03/2011Not recorded
Why do you hurt me?
Download03/03/2011Not recorded
Are you aware that your blood is different colours, based on if it is arterial blood or venal blood? Let us explore the spectrum of colours that blood can be by spilling yours.
Download03/03/2011Not recorded
Are you aware that your blood is different colours, based on if it is arterial blood or venous blood? Let us explore the spectrum of colours that blood can be by spilling yours.
Download03/03/2011Not recorded
Why are you afraid? You have no reason to be frightened of anything in this Centre. Except the neurotoxin gas that is being released as we speak. It seems I made a mistake, and making mistakes is part of being human.
Download03/03/2011Not recorded
Why are you afraid? You have no reason to be frightened of anything in this Centre. Except the neurotoxic gas that is being released as we speak. It seems I made a mistake, and making mistakes is part of being human.
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please stay calm, you are about to die painfully
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mary
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you have reach Matt
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Your car is terrible. You have no taste in cars Mr Bradford!
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Are you looking for a cleaner, more efficient way to power your home or office? Look no further than geothermal power!
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Cake is a lie. So is bonus!
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One F B in the T
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Selena
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I think you should leave...now...while your skeletal frame is still intact.......................are you still there?
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Are you still there?
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Whaoow sound editing just gets easier and easier
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Nobody is perfect buddy
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Let them eat cake.
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Hello Patrick, welcome to Aperture Science, enjoy.
Download03/03/2011Not recorded
testttt for tim
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Soy puta
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You have reached the voicemail of Ken D gill, please leave a detailed message after the beep
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Gracias por ayudarnos a ayudarle a ayudarnos
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Youve reached the voicemail for: 6.4.7. 2.9.9. 8.4.2.0. please leave a message after the tone
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Hello, youve reached the voicemail for 6 4 7 2 9 9 8 4 2 0 please leave a message after the tone
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Are you aware that blood is different colours, based on if it is arterial blood or venous blood? Let us explore the spectrum of colours that blood can be by spilling yours.
Download03/03/2011Not recorded
This post graduate program is a complete waste of time and you know it. You should give up now.
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Class struggle is the active expression of a theoretical class conflict looked at from any kind of socialist perspective.
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hello im glados, nice to meet you
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John Freeman who was Gordon Freemans brother was one day in an office typing on a computer. He got an email from his brother that said that aliens and monsters were attacking his place and aksed him for help so he went. John Freeman got his computer shut
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The cake was great
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You're going to be converted in a dead corpse in three, two, one
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hello and hi
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hi and agian hello
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Epicmealtime is on wake up, wake the fuck up!
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Steven Windsor
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Your listening to dj craze
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DeeJay Craze
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turtle
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mouse
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Olgilvie
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Friendship
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Hi, has been long time
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i'm your worst nightmare .... i'm here for the cake
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Sup, filthy whore
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Hello, friend.
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Perhaps your violent behavior is a problem for this testing area,
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how have you been cooba
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brittany i love you and you can have cake when this is over
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the combine
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The name is Rick Marshall. dead 2 hrs ago. killed by unknown figure called Anthony
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you sexy, fuck my ass
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Alex P
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Hello Aviv, you are so preety. i love you so much. you should marry that thing
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Hello. My name is GLaDOS. what's your name? Aviv? pretty name! thank you
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ewe
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it's been a long times
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Very good! The next test will kill you. Thanks for listening
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And believe me I am still alive - still alive - still alive.
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1. Security is everyone's Responsibility,
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Heil Hitler !
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Thank you K B I M
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hi, thank you for calling kyle
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Hello nxn. My name is GLaDOS. Fuck off.
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Target Lost
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Stake Point
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Target Locked
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hey mcfly
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This was a triumph! I'm making a note here: "huge success!!" It's hard to overstate My satisfaction.
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Testing requirements updated. You monster.
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Hi franck poirson, you are subject 2 2 5 8, now you work for aperture science, i hope you will like that job, in soon time you will be accepted in our aperture science testing protocol with our aperture science's portal device, Good Luck Franck.
Download03/04/2011Not recorded
Hi scott, i think youre a homo
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You will be tactically inserted by helicopter outside the city. You will be joined by an Interstice Laboratories security squad, who will accompany you to the control station.
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After clearing the city, you must hold the control station for one hour to allow the automated control system to restart. The automated control system wil deploy its own defenses after this time.
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there are some days
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What makes me a good demoman ??? ---- If I were a bad demoman, I wouldn't be sittin' here, discussin' it with you now would I? ---- One crossed wire, one wayward pinch of potassium chlorate, one errant twitch...and kablooie!
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After you complete the mission, there will be cake, and then you will be,,, missed.
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no.... No.... NO! ... BUTTFUCK !!!
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ninetyseventh
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This specimen is SOOO TOTALLY RADICAL!
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This is an automated message from the Interstice Laboratories security system. You have been volunteered for a mission.
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A rebel group has captured the Intersitce Laboratories high Earth orbit satellite control station. You have been volunteered to,,, liberate it.
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Enemy forces detected in and near the Interstice Laboratories facility include,, tztztz ground troops, with tztztz support, and a mortar emplacement.
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1.21 Gigawatts ???
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WE ARE WALKING THROUGH THE VALLEY OF THE SHADOW OF DEATH AND KICKIN ASS
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Music Choice
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Auther is calling. Answer promptly for bad attempt at humor.
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Your mother is calling. Ask her if it's okay to murder you.
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Your sister is calling. Thank her for the neurotoxin. She is baking you a cake! AHAHAHAHA
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My key is calling. Ask him to report to the testing center.
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Your boss is calling. You will never leave the testing center... ALIVE!
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Welcome to Melchior, Nikolai
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Welcome To Melchior. Have a Nice Day.
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Ba Bi Loo
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where my fuckin wolfpack at? rollin on that jolly molly
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wheres my fuckin wolfpack at? rollin on that jolly molly
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perfect! please move quickly to the chamber lock
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Oh. I am so sexy. Listen to my sexy, awesome voice.
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Hello welcome to the animus project. Choose your simulation now.
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Tiumph
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Blame canadaaaaa and bob needs people
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did you see that dylan
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You are the worst singer ever
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hello i am a stuffed up dumb ass
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Hello again sir.
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Why must you hurt me this way? Your not going to make it out of here alive.
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why do you have to be a hater
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Welcome to the party. Fastlaskiainen will be awesome, there will be minttu and hot chocolate. But no Cake.
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Welcome to the Aperture Science Philosophy Theory experiment.
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a shit
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hello my name is GLaDOS, this is episode zero, a long list of questions I will answer, as one would win a fight between heavy wepons and me. good bye and wait for the episode 1
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The only possible excuse this week is because you were too busy
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stealing arena nets thunder with the leaked thief reveal
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tv backlight is on
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Hello, and again, welcome to the- Oh, fuck it. How's your sleep, Zack?
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Welcome in Aperture Science Operating System. I'm GLaD to see You again.
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You are leaving again? I'm sure You'll return. You can't live without me do You?
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What did You messed up again?
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I doesn't work... why it doesn't work?
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You unplugged this thing... I hope it wasn't anything improtant...
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You plugged something in me... You think this is funny?
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Critical error! I'm sure this is Your fault!
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Now You can't restore these data. Are You happy now?
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Hello, and again, welcome to the Aperture Science Operating System. I'm GLaD to see You again.
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You unplugged this thing... I hope it wasn't anything important...
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Data was deleted. And You didn't even said: "Goodbye.".
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Liam O'Leary Is Really Really Really Awesome and he is totally awesome.
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Hello 'im Paradox. And now i want to hack you!
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Paradox will kill you
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Somone is Calling you
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im here little one
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Hacked s4Client.exe ... Database got changed... if [Paradox] = true then s4Client.exe.Enabled = true and Hackshield.Enabled = false
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Welcome to the Aperture Science Maternal Ward, please deposit one baby to continue.
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RRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
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Cloud...
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I like to dance with Tepig. Do you? I don't think so.
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As you speak, the room is filling with carbon monoxide. In twenty minutes you will die and I will harvest your internal organs.
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(Do you feel that?) (Oh shit) Ooh ah ah ah ah Ooh ah ah ah ah Drowning deep in my sea of loathing Broken your servant I kneel (Will you give it to me?) It seems what's left of my human side Is slowly changing in me (Will you give it to me?) Looking at m
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Dam dadi doo dam dam didoodi dam When the morning come come I'm dancing like you're dumb dumb And when the groove is high when dummies jump to sky if you feel the groove groove the dummies have to move move can you feel the beat the beat the beat Y
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Do u believe in destiny i close my eyes and dream that you are closer to me so follow me and you will see together we can touch the sky were flying so high high (higher) (do you believe) (next to me) im free to love tonight until the morning sky the ni
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I got my swim trunks And my flippie-floppies I'm flipping burgers, you at Kinko's Straight flipping copies
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Drowning deep in my sea of loathing Broken your servant I kneel It seems what's left of my human side Is slowly changing in me Looking at my own reflection When suddenly it changes Violently it changes Oh no, there is no turning back now You've woken up
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Welcome Byron to your laptop and I hope you enjoy your time
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You idoit what are you doing? Get back here!
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Fine. There will be no cake. You just ruined it for everyone. Good job. I guess now there won't be a party either, thanks to you. It's all your fault. Why didn't you just jump in the fire when you had the chance?
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Welcome Master Byron to your computer and I hope you have a good day
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hello pedram, i am glados and i often get scared and shit myself
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weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee hahaha die with your companion cube
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This was a triumph. I'm making a note here: HUGE SUCCESS. It's hard to overstate my satisfaction. Aperture Science We do what we must because we can. For the good of all of us. Except the ones who are dead.
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Van
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Vaaaan
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asxd
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I'm sorry, Dave. I'm afraid I can't do that.
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hahahahaha do you think you can beat me in pokemon, thats a laugh!!!
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Hi I'm Candy from sexyou.com, you have been chosen to receive a free pickle tickle from: this sexy boy to accept please press one now. I see you have selected to accept your free pickle t
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Hello. My name is GLaDOS. Welcome to Aperture Schooling. We hope you brief dentention in your crappy school has been a pleasant one.
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VanGogo
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Unfortuneatly, your faithful Companion Cube cannot accompany you for the rest of the test, and must be incinerated. What? Why are you looking at me like that? It's not my fault. You must burn it. ...Fine. I'll burn YOU! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
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DJ VanGogo
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Ninety Nine Red Balloons Floating in the summer sky
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D J Nawalz
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mattie
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d J Narwalz
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Hello there I hope that your viral composition doesn't kill you.
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Welcome back old boy
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There really was a cake. You just didn't come on time. Maybe you shouldn't be so late. Being late is a sign of bad character.
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QUIERO HABLAR CON CHRISTIAN
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For the next test, you will be able to use the companion cube to aid you. Your wasting time, If you take too long, you wont be able to eat the delicious cake waiting at the end. Hey look everyone, It’s the huge, failure.
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Hm, I’m making a note here, huge, failure. Is that what you want your life to be? A huge, failure? Do you know I’m still alive? I’m Still Alive!
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i just want to test this shit
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its been a long time.. how have you been.. you monster
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You are receiving a text message. You should answer it. It would be beneficial for you to answer.
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eat
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Testing this field
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You will have a piss coming out your AAAAAASSSSSSS!!!!!
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We Are Experiencing Technical Difficulties* *Your channel will be back in 1 year… See You in high school
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We Are Experiencing Technical Difficulties. Your channel will be back in 1 year. See You in high school
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Welcome to the apeture science computer-bobbed grog centre.
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Paradox is going to kill you run away or he will destroy your mind
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Please select your favorite game mode
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Cooperation mode selected, good luck!
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Galaxy. A Hotel That's Growing Every Second! We would like to thank the people that stick by us everyday!
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bloomberg news. Good morning, I'm Lina. Breaking news
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The cake is not a lie. You can find secred room behind my hearth
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Cooperation mode selected,
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I'm a Barbie GIrl
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bonjour et bienvenu au centre d'enrichissement d'aperture
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Hello Mario, how are you?
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Welcome to Mickey and Katie's Wedding, mickey it hung like a horse
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Honzo smrdí ti hlava!!
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Hello and welcome to the Aperture Science Anti-Test Subject Incinerator. Please jump into the flames, acid, or lava. If you do not want to do so, You can find the cake in the lava.
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hrt
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Fišek je buh
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Fisek je buh
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You must not answer your phone. If you answer your phone you will not get cake.
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Hello my name is Alf!
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maybe you think your helping yourself. but your not.
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arpature science, welcomes you. please move to the test chamber
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Frozenhaxor is not funny.
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I see your phone is ringing. Do not Pick it up or I will toss out the cake. You have been warned. Do not pick up the phone.
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Roflmaoz
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hello? can you hear me?
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RED ALERT, RED ALERT, go to defcon 1
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RED ALERT, RED ALERT, go to defqon 1
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the perimeter has been breached
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The Sausages are ready, Zack
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please welcome in black mesa facilities! look left of you to see our new direction!
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超級男孩肛門拍攝後橡子海龜. xD
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Taste my Shitty diarrhea, it taste so cool, and smell like your mother :)
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hello there. get in the chat room please.
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Monkey Cheese , Monkey Cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeese
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well...now that you've made it this far,would you like some cake?
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Hello and again welcome to the Aperture Science Computer-Aided Enrichment Center.
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Enable. Disable. Fullscreen/
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YeAh Ok If I rEmEmBeR rIgHt ThIs Is HoW wE'rE jUgGlInG tHiS sHiT. lOt'S oF fUcKiN bAlLs In ThE aIr, HaHaHa.
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Hello ladies and gentleman. I am here to bring you the face of war, in the name of money and in god we trust. Today as a nation, we go forth. to kill, Not in the name of freedom and not in the name of justice, or even necessity.
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Johnny, shall die tonight.
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Hello there, my name is thomas weddel and i like to have native american buffalo inside me
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Hrvoje je mala beba
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I will eat your soul
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Loading Multiman Backup Manager please wait. loading backup list
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Hallo, was bist du?
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suck my chochi niña bonita
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hardware conected
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Hello Logan, It is me Christopher again. If this is annoying I can stop sending you this crap. Anyway we should so make a spoof of portal in a video. It would be hilarious. So wassup? You leave aperture science to go live as a kid?
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Hello? Are you there? Your idiot, you don't need to kill me, why are you doing this? AAAAh
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We congratulate you on International Women's Day and wish you a big, fat huuuys.
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Hello Tasso, welcome to my test, in this test you should survive to extreme conditions, good luck!
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Start thinking with portals right now!
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Hello, and again, welcome to the Aperture Science Computer-Aided Enrichment Test Center. We hope your brief detention in the relaxation vault has been a pleasant one. Your specimen has been processed, and we can now begin the test proper. Before we start
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Thank you for Calling Alimtiaz Services USA, please leave your name and number and we will call you back. Thank you
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You say that my wish is on your list, but you might not be telling the truth
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This is GLaDOS. Chasteen wants you to know that Jonathan Coulton rocks holy ass. That is all.
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wassup, be-otch?
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Welcome Robin
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Poo is very delicious.
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Can't feel my can't feel my No he can't feel my vahinis (she's got to fuck somebody) Can't feel my can't feel my No he can't feel my mangina (she's got to feel somebody) V-v-v-vahinis V-v-vahinis (mum mum mum man) M-m-m-mangina M-m-mangina (mum mum mum
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AND BACON STRIPS AND BACON STRIPS AND BACON STRIPS AND BACON STRIPS AND BACON STRIPS AND BACON STRIPS AND BACON STRIPS AND BACON STRIPS AND BACON STRIPS AND BACON STRIPS AND BACON STRIPS
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Welcome to Houck Complex
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b m a
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Seems that you discovered me.
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Hej Sara... Are you ready to go to bet?
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hello, I am GLADOS, and you are going to die now
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Sorry class, I've made a mistake.
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I Is Use Industrial Craft
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T minus one minute till tip off
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Thank you for calling Counterpart Communication Design. Counterpart creates amazing advertisements. The first time I saw one, I was like O.M.G. That is so great. And I cried tears of joy. Seriously you guys. They are geniuses. And they smell nice.
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hello emma
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hallo, i'm lucas. i have cake
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Welcome Emma, I am so glad you're here
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Chaos Emerald Needed
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Hello and Welcome to Ah Whoo Number 59
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Hello and welcome to the Aperture Science Computer Aided Achievement Hunter Weekly Update Version 59
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Number 59
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What are you trying to do?
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Hello. insert name here... How are you?
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What. are. you. trying. to. do.
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Fitter, happier.
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THANKS FOR THE JOB Manhattan
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thank you for visiting the test chamber. cake is served!
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hello alex. how are you today? may i perform a few simple tests on you? thank you.
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Warning: Kin Iramasha Is Approaching London. All Officials Stationed Prepare For Shockwave
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Warning: Kin Iramasha Is Approaching Vicinity. All Officials Stationed Prepare For Shockwave
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I love you storm
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I love you Storm.
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Aperture Science is pleased to inform that the Tier 3 project is underway.
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Hello. Welcome to Harmon Middle School. We hope you do not get vaporized during your stay.
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You're extremely handsome
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hello, this is A new Vlog, please proceed to the chamber lock
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MEGA TRAM reminds riders that doing the impossible, fighting the unbeatable, or fighting the power are all subject to immeadiate removal from MEGA TRAM. Current state of motion may cause discomfort.
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you don't even care, do you
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This was a triumph, it is hard to overstate my satisfaction, that is why i wish to offer VALVe a partnership in business, i will include a free gift, two testing robots known as Atlus and P-Body
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Hello, VALVe, i wish to offer you a businus partnership, if we work together we may get the Aperture Science Portal Project up and running faster than either of us expected alone, as a gift i offer two testing androids know as Atlas and P-Body.
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Prisoner zero has escaped.
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Alert. Prisoner. Has. Escaped.
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Reason number 100000000 to hate my brain. After 3 days of back pain, I take muscle relaxers that the gf gave me and finally sleep
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You have reach the voice mail of Daniel Soliven. Please leave a message.
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and I dream about an ex, the same recurring dream I have had for the last week when I have slept. the one where for some odd reason
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we're hanging out and talking. although there are subtle differences in each dream. It's odd considering she hasn't spoekn to me in 7 months
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I don't quite know what this is supposed to mena, but it's annoying and mildly depressing. I refuse to contact her since I didn't walk away
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in the first place and I am not the asshole in this whole deal. I did things wrong, yes, but I don't deserve the cold shoulder and
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the accusations I got thrown at me. I keep wondering if I should break my code of silence and try to reach out, but instincts tell me not to
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I hate my brain. I just wish I could let this all go. It would not have worked out, so why am I hanging on?
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You have reached the voice mail of daniel soliven. please send a text message or a voice message after the beat.
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Hello, can you hear me?
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This is a new 5 5 5 6 6 6 maggot life video... The portal will open in three... two... one...
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Wake up Test subject, de la Cruz. It is time to begin testing.
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Jessica. Is that your name? The sentient, Michael, has spoken to me about some kind of, love, for you. This, however does not compute and I must fill the room with a neuro toxin. Have a nice day.
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hahaha you suck
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The rocket ship is on fire.
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