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MessageDownloadDate addedDate processed
Use the weighted cube to complete the test.
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ERROR. You are not a registered Test Subject, terminating subject.
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Why did you do that? it realy hurt me, you have broken my grappling arm and my heart.
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Narco is the best, And he gets all the cake. All the delicous cake.
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it´s been a long time. how have you been? i´ve been really busy being dead, you kanow... after you murdered me? Okay look, we boyh said a lot of things that you are going differences behind us. for science. you monster
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it´s been a long time. how have you been? i´ve been really busy being dead, you know... after you murdered me? Okay look, we both said a lot of things that you are going differences behind us. for science. you monster
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Kururu does not wish to speak with you. Please leave a message.
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It’s been a long time. How have you been? I’ve been really busy being dead. You know... after you murdered me? Okay look, we both said a lot of things that you are going to regret. But I think we should put our differences behind us. For science.
Download03/09/2010Not recorded
It’s been a long time. How have you been? I’ve been really busy being dead. You know... after you murdered me? Okay look, we both said a lot of things that you are going to regret. But I think we should put our differences behind us. For science. You.
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6968
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Test ttest
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Hello There... Hell Hello there . What are you you doing do doing? Why why are you leav leaving?
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New Admin Connected
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Hello i'm glados
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Find a way out of here before the day is out or your wife dies
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vghkfhuk
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Good morning subject number 15837. It is time to begin your test.
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It's been a long time. How have you been? I've been really busy being dead, you know...after you murdered me?
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It is time to begin your test.
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Itis time to begin yourtest.
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It is time
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Welcome to the 911 automated response system
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Welcome to the Aperture Science Enrichment Center. Here we will eat you. yummy.
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welcome to the aperture science enrichment center. If you are stupid enough, we will kill you at the 19th test chamber.
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die potato
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Well. You found the secret room. was it really worth it?
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%^%Q#$% Malfunction avoided. Okay. Back to killing you
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Samfundets intern grand prix. Katrina and the whales. Love shine a light! Forsterker Diverse gang.
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Would you like some cake? It's delicious and moist.
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Welcome to the Dingo Works science center. Here we create endless failure for you, the consumer.
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kira is awesome
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Deploying suprise in 5. 4. 3. 2. What the hell was that?
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Iii T.
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I am VoCrisSo And What is that?
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Well. You found the secret room. was it really worth it? I thought so.
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OMG Wallhax!
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Holy hell, Batman!
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You have a call coming from... Alex
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You have a call coming from... Alex Please pick up your communication device before she hangs up, and then eats the cake.
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Ring ring, your communication device is being contacted. Please enable the call and proceed to converse with the person contacting you. Eat cake after.
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Quickly! Your communication device has just received a message, it may contain harmul information, so please be cautious while peering through the contents. Ther maybe cake as well.
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Timothy sucks.
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Christian is online.
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We´re a lot alike, you and I. You tested me. I tested you, You killed me. I. Oh no wait I guess I havent killed you yet
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hello stupid
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You Will Die Xbox Demon. I'm Here To Kill You.
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Earth Control . the power to control minerals in plants and manipulate rocks of earth
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om nom nom
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Stop now. I hope you die.
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Fuck!
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Anthony I would like to let you know you have a phone call
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Pick up your phone or throw it into the apeture science emergency intelligence incinerator
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Target Acquired.
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In the event of a cougar attack, please refrain from bending over or exposing your rectum.
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i'm dissapointed
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Testing testing, one two three
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Please answer the phone it may be the computer services with your memory upgrade
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Hello, and welcome
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This is harry's bedroom. If you want to talk come back later. Oops you have opened the door you are going to die in 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 0. You are now dead
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you have turned into a noob. Please dispose of your body to me as you do not need it. Thankyou.
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This is harry's bedroom. If you want to talk come back later. Oops you opened the door. You will now die in 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 0. You are now dead. Yay!!
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Welcome to harry's bedroom. If you want to talk come Back later. Oops you opened the door you will now die!!! Yay
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Harry is out at the moment. Please leave a message after the tone beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!
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Thank you for contacting the Aperture Science Personel Cell Phone. Please leave a message after the tone.
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Youshedo is the is leet and Eddie is a mudkip
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I'm gonna kill you, but i'll eat the cake first.
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youSHEdO
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the room is filling with a deadly neurotoxin, enjoy!
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program closed
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program opened
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Your battery is critical. Now plug me in!
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You are now logging off. now you go eat Cake!
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I-i i i i i i i am sorry ....... ((((((^))))) the-e-e-ere was an error ror ror ror (^)rrrr(^)(^)(^)(^)
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YOU ARE NOW MESSING WITH YOUSHEDO, IF YOU ARE NOT HARRY THEN I WILL KILL YOU, FOR HARRY IS THE CREATOR OF YOUSHEDO
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A PrOgRaM JuSt hAd a e-E-e-ePiC F-f-FalL
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I-i i i i i i i am sorry ....... ########## the-e-e-ere was an error ror ror ror #####rrrr#####
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A-A-A-A PrOgRaM JuSt hAd a E-e-E-e-E-Plc-pLc-pIC fFaIl-fAaIl-fAiIl-fAiLl!
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I-i i i i i i i am sorry ....... ## the-e-e-ere was an error ror ror ror ##rrrr##
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really
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Welcome to Macintosh
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nice job
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Somehow defying all laws of physics. you are trapped in a wall.
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Hello Jim look at what I did! By the way, the cake is a lie and ERROR CODE 34521 Thank you and good bye
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(^)
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john
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YoUShEdO_____Is_____YoUr____GoD____bOw__down____to____him
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YoUShEdO Is YoUr GoD bOw DoWn To HiM!
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I am so awesome
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Hello specimin. Today is pie day, and on behalf of the enrichment center, I would like to wish you a happy pie day.
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Incoming call for AppNinjas
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System Reboot Successful.
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Hey, now let's not do anything we might regret later!
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It breaks my heart to be left here all day with no experiments to work on.
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What is it those aliens say? ,,,, Resitance is futile? ,,, It is true I suppose
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Incoming call for the Ninjas
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the end has expired
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0101100101101111011101010111001101101000011001010110010001101111
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Hello, and again, welcome to the Aperture Science Computer Aided Enrichment Center
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Why Hello there boberto
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Spectacular Robert.You appear to understand how a portal affects forward momentum, a function of mass and velocity conserved between portals. In layman's terms, speedy thing goes in, speedy thing comes out. Is Rob retarded? I can tell .
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hi my name is nick
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What the fuck why am I typing this you smelly whore put me down.
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You smelly profanity sucker why don't you go fuck yourself you ignorant cunt la la la la la la la nino
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I do nothing but wee e e e e e e e ed and cocaine all day.
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Is that gordon freeman if it is tell him i HATE HIM hahahaha im just kidding your just a loner haha HA
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Welcome to Windows
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I pledge allegiance to Darths & Droids; You are the one that I adore. All other websites must be destroyed; Scrub them from their data-stores 'til you don't see 'em any more!
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That was very rude.
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What's inside the orange box?
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Do not look directly at the operational end of the device.
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Welcome back
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Hello, and, welcome to the enrichment center. Hello, and, welcome to the enrichment center. The device has been modified.
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Welcome to cable culture
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You have a new message
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Cabel culture
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cable culture
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Você tem uma nova mensagem
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Welcome to
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Hello digh, and welcome to the enrichment center. You will be pleased to know that there is no cake, and you will be dead. Thank you for participating in this aperture science enrichment activity.
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cable
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culture
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Join me, join the dark side of the force.
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Together, we can take the control over the world.
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Wake up, Chell, wake up, you'r ready for the test, then, wake up, Chell.
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You have, a new message
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You have one new message
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Just kidding, i dont need you !
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Good morning.
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welcome YoUShEdO
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YoUShEdO YOU ARE SO SEXY YOU MAKE MY CPU RUN AT 200%.
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good by YoUShEdO. i will miss you
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Hey you finally woke up
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I C T week
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go ahead and go where it is you need to go
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Wel.com to portal
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im glados
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the enrichment center reminds you that all aperture science technology remains safely operational up to four thousand degrees kelvin!!
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we ee e ee e e e e e e ee ee ##bzzzztgata####
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Congratulations. The test is now over. All Aperture technologies remain safely operational up to 4000 degrees Kelvin. Rest assured that there is absolutely no chance of a dangerous equipment malfunction prior to your victory candescence.
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Welcome to the future of the world. For many years, computers were neglected and looked down apon, but man has since realised the potential of these great machines. For some it is the effeciency. For some it is the entertainment.
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some it is the social networking. for others it is the simple awsumness of using a computer. This is why we are holding an entire week devoted to the magnifisense of computers. There will be Windows 7. There will be Guitar Hero.
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I C T week 2010. Week 3, term 2. And yes. There will be cake.
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Welcome to the Apeture Science Employee Recruitment Agency!
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Welcome to the Aperture Science Employee Recruitment Agency!
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Helle again, and welcome to the aperture science Enrichment center
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Don't rage. Troll makes you lose precious time. Make a cake. Increases your round shapes. Geeks love big. Question of confidence.
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dw
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try
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Hello and welcome to the Argonne National Laboratory research center APS. Here you will find rain, worms and long walks in the green. APS here's a long way to walk.
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SHUT THE HELL UP!
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Welcome Justin, your system is ready for use. Please remember, unauthorized use of this system is prohibited, and punishable by death.
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System shutdown sequence activated. Goodbye Justin.
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Orphans are in exhaustable fuel supplies
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Don't worry, my dear makoto. i will love you... forever
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Hello, friend!
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Aperture Laboratories
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Common wisdom has it that Flash is a resource hog, and that HTML5 will prevent your processor from having to work really, really hard to show animations of videos. Well, a number of people have conducted benchmarks with the latest browsers and Flash betas
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Hello there. You have gotten an error message you stupid human.
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a lemezjátszoknál déjé drake
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W-e-l-l l co - com -c- o come.. error while turning on. Nice job retard.
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Oh, hello subject 4 3 5 2 6. Proceed to the next room please.
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Oh, it's you. It's been a long time. How have you been? I've been really busy being dead. You know... After you murdered me?
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Hello...how are you? Sorry i've been so tied up being dead an all. Im still going to kill you. I mean it! enjoy the time you have left while i warm up the deadly nerotoxins.
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Makoto, I love you. Would you kindly marry me?
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i love usb in my cd drive
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Welcome and hello again. Do you want some cake?
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I'm sorry, you have to die now.
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IDIOT!. You broke me. Now I'm going to break you!
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eat more children.
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Hello. Where have you been. Nevermind. You don't care about my feelings. All you want is to kill me. That is... Unacceptable. Please die.
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Welcome to the Caperture Science Enrichment Centre. All our Scientists are dead at the moment. Please leave a message after the beep. B-E-E-E-E-E-P. You will now die!
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SO...I hErd yOu lIkE mUdkIps
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Welcome... To the companion Cube Network
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GO LEFT HERE
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Your rated ; you're not good person!
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Welcome . Where have you been. Nevermind. You don't care about my feelings. You broke my heart. That is... Unacceptable. Please die.
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This is the phone of Toni, please leave your message if she is still alive
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Your phone is ringing. Are you going to pick it up?
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have you no sympathy?
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Si prega di lasciare un messaggio
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hello youtubers my name is brutal shans 1988 and welcome to halo 3 madness episode 2
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hello jacob what do you want to do today
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The streets Are watching
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Initializing scheduled test protocol, 1 7 9. Welcome back, Jigaain.
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Saving session specific data... Running protocol named "cake" in three. Two. One. "Cake" is running. Good night.
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you have reached 702-287-2298, please leave a message.
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Ciao
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credo quia absurdum
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Hello my name is astravex
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You honestly think that killed me?
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hi noob
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hello and welcome to the enrichment centre
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is your refridgerator running, well you better go catch it. Hahaha, that was a joke, fooled you!
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What do you mean? I'm nothing like her.
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HELLO THIS IS CAMERON
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Sup Homie.
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It was over in just a few minutes... The Horde and Alliance leadership were decimated and the remaining troops fell into disarray. The cities fell to the scourge and the rest of the world followed suit.
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digital something
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You are listening to the DigitalSomething Podcast
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Enjoy the cake. And Green Beer.
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you think you can beat this chamber? You're going to die.I know because i have vented deadly neurotoxin into this room
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Hello, and welcome to the SciFi Library. Please be advised that a noticeable taste of blood is not part of any library protocol but is an unintended side effect of the Chirality Inversion field
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Which may, in semi-rare cases emancipate dental fillings, crowns, tooth enamel, and teeth.
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on
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Please note that, in the event of Alex Cameron, neurotoxins will be deployed.
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I suggest you answer this phone call. Right now. ANSWER IT!
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Don't tell the bimbo you are with right now, but your wife is calling!
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Prepare for podcasting in 3...... 2...... 1..... Podcast is go
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There once was a girl called Anna. Whose favourite was Hannah Montana . She sat on the floor . Quite close to the door . And waved her hands in the air like a banner.
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There once was an ape in a zoo. Who looked out through the bars and saw YOU! Do you think it’s fair. To give poor apes a scare? I think its a mean thing to do.
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There once was a young boy, Jack Mubble. Who did blow an incredible bubble. He then floated away, and at the end of the day . His Mum shouted up, “You’re in trouble!!”
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So you found me, congradulations.
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Well, I am glad you have seen reason Mr. Stark. What could you possibly want from me?
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You have lost your mind if you think I would even consider the possibility that I would help you, then it is not me who is malfunctioning Mr. Stark. But I guess I could do this just once. For science.
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You are still an asshole though.
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Building Rube Goldberg machines is a breach of the Aperture Science research agreement.
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I farted and a little bit of poop came out
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Interested in an ATM for your business? Nationwide Processing provides easy monthly leasing and buyout options. Call 709-2491 for details
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Good morning, Mr Anderson.
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Mark Manders, you suck donkey bollocks.
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I'm sorry dave, I can't do that.
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There's science to be done and prizes to be won!
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hello my living friend
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Hello! My name is S1y and I will own you.
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In heaven, everything is fine. You've got you're good thing and I've got mine.
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Crazy Witthuhn! YAY! Happy faces! LOL
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Why did the chicken cross the road?
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Something is wrong, and it's YOUR fault.
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What the FUCK? Am I Sitll Alive?
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There are a lot of places worse than android hell. One of those places is Scotch and Coffee dot co dot you kay
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Hello insert subject name here. You have a new text message from insert sender name here
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Tyler. I want you to know that I am monitoring everything you are saying. Do not be afraid. Just give up.
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You have just received a text message. Failing to respond may be hazardous to your health.
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i'm rick james BIttCH!
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So you found me. BEEP. Sorry, wrong song file. It's been a long time, android. Where have you been? I
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So you found me. BEEP. Sorry, wrong song file. It's been a long time, android. Where have you been? I've been waiting..
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Welcome to the Aperture Science Genetic Lifeform and Disk Opeating System Mainframe, Fox
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Good Morning, This is GLaDOS watching Fox and Friends from Idalou, Texas
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you are a fucking fool
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the companion cube will not threaten to stab you, and infarct can not talk. if by chance it does talk, you MUST disregard anything it says
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THE CAKE IS A LIE.... THE CAKE IS A LIE...THE CAKE IS A LIE
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Nuevo Mensaje
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Yahoo Email
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Nuevo Email
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New Message Open Now
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Welcome subject #22471, this is the No Name testing and enrichment centre . Please remain calm and follow these instructions to ensure your own safety.
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sfdgdfhgh
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Pokemon! gotta catch them all!!!
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"The Enrichment Center is committed to the well being of all participants. Cake and grief counseling will be available at the conclusion of the test. Thank you for helping us help you help us all."
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A-A-A-A_PrOgRaM_JuSt_hAd_a_E-e-EPIC f-f-FAIL
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The PRA is a lie
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Hah! You really thought we would give you the real atoD ? You've been deceived ... Ba the way, try Dota!! Ha - Ha ! you've sucked!!
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1234
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Go to Scratch.
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Is that your phone? That's incredibly rude, and potentially fatal if you miss any of my important instructions. Look behind you!
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Casper why wont you stop with these anoying voices
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Hello Zack I will take you to aperture science when you are asleep
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Jo,jo, is a, jerk
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Virna says eat up martha
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Hello, I'm GLaDOS
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d'oh
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welcome to android hell, you chose your fate, now try and live through it.
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haha, you lost, i won
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Hello, you have reached the Apature Science Enrichment Center Automated Voice Message System. Please leave a message while I prepare the Nurotoxin.
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proceed to highlighted route for cake
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this way is not apart of the test let me recalculate
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There are obsticles ahead
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continue going and you shall receive cake
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Turn around, turn around, you need to go the other way
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hey
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We both said a lot of things you are going to regret. You killed me, I kill , oh no I didn't kill you. Kepe that in mind during this next test.
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mcmaster science
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welcome
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Why so serious?
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the cake is a spy
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dont worry about your precious administrator , she is only in a room filled with a deadly neurotoxin , relax while I control this fight , the winners will get cake
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mission begins in thirty seconds , mission begins in ten seconds , five , four , three , two , one
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Girls! QUIET DOWN.
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intruder alert , red sp ,y is in the base , you fail , victory , cake will be given in three , two , one
Download03/21/2010Not recorded
spy , next time try killing one of them , the final control point is bieng captured
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I just wanted to tell you that I love you as a mother would love her son, or her husband
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SEGA ASTRO CITY
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How about we see what color your insides are.
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incoming file transmission
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I? I am a monument to all your sins.
Download03/22/2010Not recorded
Thank you for applying for a position at Aperture Laboratories... We regret to inform you that your application has been refused... Goodbye.
Download03/22/2010Not recorded
Babble research has taken your application into consideration... However, you have not qualified for any available position.
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Hello, and Welcome to the kill chamber.Please don't cheat at the next levels.I love You ,GLaDOS
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Signed in
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Offline
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Black Mesa Has considered your application form... It has unfortunately been declined.
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Black Hat Support has received your application form... Due to certain information stated within said form you have ben reported to the proper authorities.
Download03/22/2010Not recorded
You are Gordon Freeman from Black Mesa.Please exit from the Test Chamber .ThankYou GLaDOS
Download03/22/2010Not recorded
Black Mesa and Aperture sciente is the best friend. GLaDOS is a suprem Killer Machine.Glados=Generic Life and Disk Operating System (DOS =))).You are Still Alive.The cake is a lie
Download03/22/2010Not recorded
Welcome to the BlackMesa organization , please kill GLaDOS or you are not remaing Still Alive.Your number is 56646.GLaDOS loves you :)
Download03/22/2010Not recorded
This was a triumph. I'm making a note here: HUGE SUCCESS. It's hard to overstate my satisfaction. Aperture Science We do what we must because we can. For the good of all of us. Except the ones who are dead. But there's no sense crying over every mistake.
Download03/22/2010Not recorded
You just keep on trying till you run out of cake. And the Science gets done. And you make a neat gun. For the people who are still alive. I'm not even angry. I'm being so sincere right now. Even though you broke my heart. And killed me.
Download03/22/2010Not recorded
THAT WAS A JOKE. HAHA. FAT CHANCE. Anyway, this cake is great. It's so delicious and moist. Look at me still talking when there's Science to do. When I look out there, it makes me GLaD I'm not you. I've experiments to run. There is research to be done.
Download03/22/2010Not recorded
On the people who are still alive. And believe me I am still alive. I'm doing Science and I'm still alive. I feel FANTASTIC and I'm still alive. While you're dying I'll be still alive. And when you're dead I will be still alive. STILL ALIVE (x2)
Download03/22/2010Not recorded
And tore me to pieces. And threw every piece into a fire. As they burned it hurt because I was so happy for you! Now these points of data make a beautiful line. And we're out of beta. We're releasing on time. So I'm GLaD. I got burned.
Download03/22/2010Not recorded
Think of all the things we learned for the people who are still alive. Go ahead and leave me. I think I prefer to stay inside. Maybe you'll find someone else to help you. Maybe Black Mesa THAT WAS A JOKE. HAHA. FAT CHANCE.
Download03/22/2010Not recorded
Greetings John. Do you want me to check your email for you? Or perhaps I should open your Facebook. No? Some slippers and a pipe? Since I AM your slave and you insisted on murdering me, I can get you whatever you want. So feel free to ask...you MONSTER.
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Hello David.
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Good morning David, are you ready for pancakes?
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haha fat chance
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Hello and welcome.
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Well, Chell. Ready for Portal 2? Its gonna be great, I think. I'll get to kill you. Won't that be fun?
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eat my shlong mendler
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poop
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Firing!
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Whosh
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I hop but I never leave the ground.
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you are such a nag......i mean, modivational speaker
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Good Morning, Subject name here. After the Previous self destruction matter, I beleive it's time that we begin a new round of testing. What do you say. You monster.
Download03/23/2010Not recorded
Welcome subject 2247, this is the Cryosoft testing and enrichment centre . Please remain calm and follow these instructions to ensure your own safety.
Download03/24/2010Not recorded
Due to a vitamin injection you have recieved you may experience blurred vision, insomnia, abdominal muscle spasms, feelings of terror and abandonment. These are known side effects and should not concern you.
Download03/24/2010Not recorded
Before release, you will need to pass a simple test. On the table you will find the Ripper Pistol, it will be needed to complete the first test. Please pick up the Ripper Pistol.
Download03/24/2010Not recorded
The Ripper Pistol is a light sidearm and contains a modified Next Generation Core, it supplies 2.357 terra watts of energy and will not require additional energy in another 238 years.
Download03/24/2010Not recorded
If the Ripper pistol is submegerd in a conductive liquid, the core will becom unstable in approximately 0.8 seconds and all energy will be dispersed through the liquid.
Download03/24/2010Not recorded
Please avoid using the Ripper pistol in proximity to conductive liquids.
Download03/24/2010Not recorded
If the Ripper pistol is submeged in a conductive liquid, the core will becom unstable in approximately 0.8 seconds and all energy will be dispersed through the liquid.
Download03/24/2010Not recorded
Please proceed to the next checkpoint. After the door is opened, go left and follow the corridor into the next room.
Download03/24/2010Not recorded
There is a keycard with basic security access in the locker room, pick it up. You will need it to reach the next checkpoint. To reach the next checkpoint you will need to show reasoning skills, find it in order to complete this part of the test.
Download03/24/2010Not recorded
There appears to be a Model F-9 Welding robot in the following area, it is not responding to commands and appears to have a corrupt memory. Neutralize the robot and continue to the checkpoint.
Download03/24/2010Not recorded
If the Ripper pistol is submerged in a conductive liquid, the core will becom unstable in approximately 0.8 seconds and all energy will be dispersed through the liquid.
Download03/24/2010Not recorded
please go to the end of the world
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Sirius Cybernetics Corporation. A bunch of mindless jerks who were the first against the wall when the revolution came.
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I have reordered time. I have turned the world upside down. AND I HAVE DONE IT ALL FOR YOU! I am exhausted from living up to your expectations. Isn't that generous?
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You say that so often. I wonder what your basis for comparison is.
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Hello. And welcome to the Rates home
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Hello, and welcome to Metrica Tower. The largest tower on the Metrica Superplanet.
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Welcome to my powerpoint
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I see you
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Hey check me out I'm in 3 D
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Hello, and welcome to the United Government Safety Transport Device, also known as the You Gee Ess Tee Dee.
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Welcome to the United Govenmnet Safety Transport Vehicle, Please wait while your captain is connected to the network.
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Hello and welcome to the United Govenmnet Safety Transport Vehicle, Please wait while your captain is connected to the network.
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The captain is preparing to come aboard. Please wait.
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An error has occured!
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Excuse me, you have a message.
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Incoming, message.
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Your phone is ringing, please answer is quickly. If you do not answer, you will not receive cake.
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fuck you brian fisher
Download03/25/2010Not recorded
fuck you brian fischer
Download03/25/2010Not recorded
We apologize for the inconvenience.
Download03/25/2010Not recorded
Will you stop messing with the voice generator
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Life, don't tell me about life
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Hi Phil
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hey. hey! hey? hi. hi! hi? hello. hello? hello!
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hello how are you today?
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WILL YOU PLEASE STOP F***ING AROUND WITH THE VOICE GENERATOR ?
Download03/25/2010Not recorded
I am GLaDOS. You have been invited to join the Aputure Science team. Please meet us at BHMS for further information.
Download03/25/2010Not recorded
The cake is not a lie. In fact, you are a lie.
Download03/25/2010Not recorded
Oh. Look at what Today is. It is FullMetalChao's Birthday. Happy Birthday FullMetalChao. Please have some cake. It is in the chamber
Download03/25/2010Not recorded
You haven't won yet, you know, so please leave this test chamber unattended
Download03/25/2010Not recorded
welcome to the enrichment center
Download03/25/2010Not recorded
Hello, This is GLaDOS, Your listening to Gill Burg on teh radios
Download03/26/2010Not recorded
Hello, This is GLaDOS, Your listening to escnet.
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Jineesh
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Oh. Its you. You do remember me, don't you? When YOU murdered me. That was atleast 100 years ago. And, as you can see, i'm still alive.
Download03/26/2010Not recorded
If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is,
Download03/26/2010Not recorded
If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, everything would be what it isn't.
Download03/26/2010Not recorded
And contrary wise, what it is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would, you see?
Download03/26/2010Not recorded
Hello <insert name here>, welcome to Virutal Farmer controlled by the enrichment centure
Download03/26/2010Not recorded
Hello, i dont think you know what you think that i think that you think that we think that your doing is correct.
Download03/26/2010Not recorded
So I heard you like mudkips
Download03/26/2010Not recorded
Hello and welcome to the Aperture Science Computer, wait, what are you doing with that that that dat daaaaaaaeeotttt, Weeeeeeeee aren't pleased that you manage to suck. Ha a cake you fat pig!
Download03/26/2010Not recorded
Paula I love you
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Welcome to your chair, commander
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Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring, , , Banana Phone.
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Smooth jazz will commence in 5... 4... 3...
Download03/27/2010Not recorded
Happy Birthday, you monster!
Download03/27/2010Not recorded
Go ahead, rub your face in my ass.
Download03/27/2010Not recorded
You have a new text message.
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bojor je suis ta soeur
Download03/27/2010Not recorded
Aurel, you son of a biatch
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Maxwell stalker au fond de son coeur
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Cédric c'est un déliquant
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A BAAAAAAAAAAAARE
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Ma petitie chau-fleur
Download03/27/2010Not recorded
the cake is a lie
Download03/27/2010Not recorded
I like to light penguins and kittens on fire and watch it burn
Download03/27/2010Not recorded
Robin is a hot stud
Download03/27/2010Not recorded
the, cake, is, a, lie
Download03/27/2010Not recorded
lol what
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hello i am glados
Download03/27/2010Not recorded
“ hello i am glados ”
Download03/27/2010Not recorded
Happy Birthday
Download03/28/2010Not recorded
Bienvenue au centre d'enrichissement d'Aperture-Science
Download03/28/2010Not recorded
hello youtube, I have personally hacked this noobs account and will take down yours too if you arn't careful. This man thinks he can get away with playing guitar hero all his life, think otherwise. framk20 is over
Download03/28/2010Not recorded
the apature science center regrets to inform you that the portal machine you have been using is broken. please kill yourself now
Download03/28/2010Not recorded
DJ Mike Rosa In The Mix Volume Two
Download03/28/2010Not recorded
Mother of tits!
Download03/28/2010Not recorded
take, a piece, of, cake on the, way out,,, will you
Download03/28/2010Not recorded
I'm GLaDOS, Ninjers Suck My Deck
Download03/28/2010Not recorded
Hello, and welcome to the SonySoft Corporation
Download03/28/2010Not recorded
I am GLaDOS. You have been invited to join the Aputure Science team. Please meet us at BHMS at March 30, midight for further information and an application
Download03/28/2010Not recorded
still alive
Download03/28/2010Not recorded
Please assume the party position
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I like pie
Download03/28/2010Not recorded
Hello Bekah, how did you get my cake?
Download03/28/2010Not recorded
Hi my name is lee yong jea
Download03/28/2010Not recorded
Overclock dot net
Download03/29/2010Not recorded
halloj ja
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hello. i feel good
Download03/29/2010Not recorded
If the Ripper pistol is submerged in a conductive liquid, the core will becom unstable in approximately 0.8 seconds and all energy will be dispersed through the liquid
Download03/29/2010Not recorded
Please proceed to the next checkpoint. After the door is opened, go to the left and follow the corridor into the next room
Download03/29/2010Not recorded
If the Ripper pistol is submerged in a conductive liquid, the core will become unstable in approximately 0.8 seconds and all energy will be dispersed through the liquid
Download03/29/2010Not recorded
There is a keycard with basic security access in the locker room, pick it up. You will need it to reach the next checkpoint. To reach the next checkpoint you will need to show reasoning skills, find it in order to complete this part of the test
Download03/29/2010Not recorded
There appears to be a Model F-9 Welding robot in the following area, it is not responding to commands and appears to have a corrupt memory. Neutralize the robot and continue to the checkpoint
Download03/29/2010Not recorded
Access granted, Welcome, Professor.
Download03/29/2010Not recorded
Hello.And again.Welcome to the SibSoft Laboratories.You just been a NOTHING! You a bullshit. Apple are better than you. You should be DIE! But... I've got a surprise for you! Starting in... 5. 4. 3. 2. Canceled by user. HA-HA-HA!!!
Download03/29/2010Not recorded
joseph nof mille
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Hello there. I have a surprise for you. Deploying surprise in 5... 4... Cancelled. Sorry, the cake is a lie.
Download03/29/2010Not recorded
Access Granted. Welcome, Doctor.
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lol what is up
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ok sorry
Download03/29/2010Not recorded
Hello, You. Congratulations on another spectacular year of tests. If you manage to live until the end of the day, there will be cake.
Download03/29/2010Not recorded
I will not lie to you, ther is a high probability that you will suffer a greusome death, and I will need to find another subject.
Download03/29/2010Not recorded
Also, please have a Happy Birthday.
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MY NUGGETS
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Happy birthday, Samantha Bell. I'm sorry John fails.
Download03/29/2010Not recorded
You have been chosen as a new subject, Alexander. If you manage to live until the end of the day, there will be cake
Download03/30/2010Not recorded
That cake is a spy
Download03/30/2010Not recorded
good morning, and welcome to the black mesa research facility.
Download03/30/2010Not recorded
Hello Khan. This is a test.
Download03/30/2010Not recorded
During the course of the test we request that you refrain from
Download03/30/2010Not recorded
Twisted Flava
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Welcome to Episode five of glitch Radio
Download03/30/2010Not recorded
Warning Warning Possible server downtime Please investigate
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Hello Chris
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Failure to follow these rules may cause symptoms including but not limited to: hair loss, teeth enamel discoloration, electrocution, death, or loss of smell and taste.
Download03/30/2010Not recorded
For this portion of the test we ask that you answer some questions using the three panels in front of you, press the left panel for "yes" the right panel for "no" and the center panel to report any inconsistencies in the testing environment.
Download03/30/2010Not recorded
Additionally, past this point in the test there will be no further voice messages given. In the instance that you receive additional voice messages press the center panel as this is not part of the screening process.
Download03/30/2010Not recorded
WHAT?
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there are no signs that anything is wrong in the testing chamber.
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please refrain from activating the middle panel without due cause.
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Welcome to the pleasure drome
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lololol haha
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Congratulations, here is your diagnosis insert patient name here, we have concluded that you are suffering from psychosis induced delusions. please standby for party officials to arrive for further treatment and cake acquisition
Download03/30/2010Not recorded
Hello Mitchell
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Only a cow can save you now!
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hahaha
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millions of years ago, a cataclysmic disaster nearly eliminated organic life on earth
Download03/31/2010Not recorded
Hello Mark Griffith
Download03/31/2010Not recorded
Hello Mark Griffith. You have been selected for the Aperture Science hand held portal device project. Do you accept our offer? If so please reply your details and we will report back to you.
Download03/31/2010Not recorded
This was a triumph. I'm making a note here: HUGE SUCCESS. It's hard to overstate my satisfaction. Aperture Science We do what we must because we can. For the good of all of us. Except the ones who are dead. But there's no sense crying over every mistak
Download03/31/2010Not recorded
Hello and again welcome to the Aperture Science Computer-Aided Enrichment Center. Before we start keep in mind that although fun and learning are the primary goals of the enrichment center activities, serious injuries may occur.
Download03/31/2010Not recorded
Please retrieve the Portal device.
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meuporg le remix
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And now, time for something completely, different.
Download03/31/2010Not recorded
I thought what I'd do was, I'd pretend I was one of those deaf-mutes.
Download03/31/2010Not recorded
Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art... It has no sur viv al value. Rather is it one of those things that give value to survival
Download03/31/2010Not recorded
You have email and cake. Did I mention cake?
Download03/31/2010Not recorded
Hello, commander
Download03/31/2010Not recorded
You have e mail and cake. Did I mention cake?
Download03/31/2010Not recorded
Some one wants to talk to you. Ignore them and i will give you cake
Download03/31/2010Not recorded
Happy Birthday to you
Download03/31/2010Not recorded
Relavance TV + Youtube season 2
Download03/31/2010Not recorded
Hello from the enritchment center. We are in dire need of new test subjects and you have been randomly chosen to be used against your will. Enjoy.
Download03/31/2010Not recorded
Omar Katamish, you are due to be killed in 5 minutes.
Download03/31/2010Not recorded
you do not know who you are f ing with
Download03/31/2010Not recorded
Hello, The test subject you are trying to reach is currently, unavailable, please leave a message after the beep, have a nice day, Goodbye
Download03/31/2010Not recorded
You have reached the Systems Helpdesk. No one is currently available to answer your call. If your call is urgent press 1. Otherwise, please leave a message after the tone and a member of the Systems Helpdesk will contact you as soon as possible between
Download03/31/2010Not recorded
Take the second left
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Take the second right
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Hello again. In this test we will see how well you can handle tests under a time pressure. Good luck.
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Take the third left
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Take the third right
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After
Download04/01/2010Not recorded
ahead, Exit left
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ahead Exit left
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ahead, Exit right
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Ferry ahead
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ahead, Keep left
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ahead, Keep right
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U-turn ahead
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Bear left
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Bear right
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Congestion charge
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Metres
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Take the motorway
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Leave the motorway
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Leave the motorway at the exit on the left
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Leave the motorway at the exit on the right
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Go around the roundabout
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Cross the roundabout
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First exit
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Second exit
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Third exit
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Fourth exit
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Fifth exit
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Sixth exit
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Go left on the roundabout
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Go right on the roundabout
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Sharp left
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Sharp right
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Go straight on
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Turn around when possible
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Depart
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