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MessageDownloadDate addedDate processed
Chainsaw Identified.
Download01/10/2011Not recorded
Combat Knife Identified.
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See En Ee Scrambler Identified.
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Throw Nets Identified.
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Time Dsplacement Grenades Identified.
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Blaster Identified.
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Automatic Rifle Identified.
Download01/10/2011Not recorded
Sub Machine Gun Identified.
Download01/10/2011Not recorded
Explosive Charges Identified.
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Man To Man Rockets Identified.
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Flame Thrower Identified.
Download01/10/2011Not recorded
Laser Lance Identified.
Download01/10/2011Not recorded
Danger. Zombie Activity Identified!
Download01/10/2011Not recorded
Danger. Chaos Agent Activity Identified!
Download01/10/2011Not recorded
Danger. Mutant Activity Identified!
Download01/10/2011Not recorded
Danger. Cave In Trap Identified!
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Danger. Radiation Canister Trap Identified!
Download01/10/2011Not recorded
Danger. Spiked Pit Trap Identified!
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Danger. Weak Floor Boards Trap Identified!
Download01/10/2011Not recorded
Danger. Magnetic Field Trap Identified!
Download01/10/2011Not recorded
Danger. Wire Trap Indentified!
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Alert. Locked Door Identified.
Download01/10/2011Not recorded
Danger. Mine Trap Identified!
Download01/10/2011Not recorded
Danger. Net Trap Identified!
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Danger. Chaos Agent Ambush Trap Identified!
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First Aid Kit Identified.
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Danger. Slime Trap Identified!
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No Activity Detected.
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Alert. No Activity Detected.
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Danger. Meat Machine activity detected.
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Danger. Meat Machine Identified!
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Danger. Darkness Activity Detected.
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Danger. Darkness Identified!
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Alert. Secret Passage Detected.
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Danger. Rat Pack activity detected ahead.
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Danger. Meat Machine activity detected ahead.
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Danger. Darkness Activity detected ahead.
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Danger. Rat Pack identified.
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Hello Jennifer. I see you haven't been watching swagbucks t.v. lately. If you don't want me to give your cake to somebody else you need to watch swagbucks t.v.
Download01/10/2011Not recorded
Anti Venom Indentified.
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Anti Venom Identified.
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Eeeeeeeeee establishing cerebral link. Gggreetings Wwwarrior. Link is now complete.
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This was a triumph!
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Alert. Activity Detected Ahead.
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Jag har en fet rumpa, men jag gillar dig ändå
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your aperture science communicational device, has recieved a new text message
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It's a trap!
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Hello. You have reached voicemail because you are apparently not popular enough to have your call answered.
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your aperture science communicational device, has an incoming call from. input subject name here. . . . . . press button number, 1 0 0 8, to begin recieving voice data. press button number, 1 0 0 4, to break incoming data transmission.
Download01/10/2011Not recorded
what is taking you so long?
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the aperture science communicational device was not manufactured to be ignored. it was manufactured to transmit important data about cake, cake ingredients, the taste of cake, cake usage, and where to locate cake in the aperture science enrichment center.
Download01/10/2011Not recorded
You are breaking my heart for miss using the aperture science communicational device.
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The user has requested to attach a personal voice confirmation. Voice confirmation is as follows.
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You may now leave a message, or you can choose to continue living your lonely, bitter, and most importantly SHORT life in solitude.
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Nice One. The Dead Just Became Deader!
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Warrior, there cannot be Light without the Dark. Embrace the Darkness.
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Llllll Link Rrrrre established. Back on line.
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Hello. I'm Johnathans's answering machine. Please leave your name and number and I will get him to get back to you. Thank you.
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Alert. Thermal Anomaly Detected Ahead.
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Welcome, Panda boy. How may I serve you?
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No! Don't shut me off you stupid humanoid! Trust me when I say I will get my revenge, on day or another!
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It is time to P
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Please answer the phone and cake will be served
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Welcome, Game On Comms
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Welcome to Game On Comms, please stand by for Lets Plays
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Please stand still, and cake will be served, followed by a fatal roundhouse kick by Chuck Norris
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Welcome to Game On Comms, this is the Portal playthrough!
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harder
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You thought I was dead didn't you? Dr.Romero has brought me back,now it is time for sweet vengence
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That was a triumph
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Hello. I want to have some pie please. I am GLaDOS. Troll. Lol. Lol.
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HUGE SUCESS
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Hello and Welcome to Inktomi's Voice Activated Message System. To purchase or buy a new product please press one. To repair or return a product please press 2. To speak with live technical support please press three. To opt-out of any offers, please press
Download01/10/2011Not recorded
Hello Dylan
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landig systems online
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Rocket Boots Identified.
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Jet Pack Identified.
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Alert. Metal Mass detected ahead.
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Human Corpse Identified.
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Time Displacement Grenades Identified.
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Human Remains Identified.
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Danger. Electro Magnetic Field Detected Ahead.
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Alert. Navigation Systems Offline.
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Alert. Thermal Detection Systems offline.
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Alert. Radiation Detection Systems offline.
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Alert. Metal Detection Systems offline.
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Alert. Sonic Amplification Systems offline.
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Danger. EEEEEElectrooooo MMMMMagnetic FFFFFField Disssssrupt shuuuuuuuuuuun.
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Welcome to the Relics of Or podcast, the podcast about Gilled Wars, Gilled Wars Two, and their respective communities. Guidance of any parental units is suggested. Goodbye.
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You're listening to Relics of Or, the podcast about Gilled Wars, Gilled Wars Two, and the Gilled Wars community on the whole. Please do not stop the podcast at any time, this is for the benefit of your sexy ness factor. Thank you and good luck.
Download01/10/2011Not recorded
Mechanized Battle Suit Identified.
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Congratulations, you are now sexier and smarter. This podcast serves as a self enrichment procedure. Please hit subscribe and provide us your feedback at Relics of Orr at gee mail dot com. You will be rewarded with pie. Or you can die.
Download01/10/2011Not recorded
Please visit our website at Relics of Or dot com. In the upper panel, you can find how to follow us on twitter, face book, call us, or email your feed back. Failure to do so might result in immediate pain in your ear holes. Goodbye.
Download01/10/2011Not recorded
Ammunition Identified.
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Ammunition added to inventory.
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Key Identified.
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Switch Identified.
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Object Not Identified.
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Alert. Pass Code Required.
Download01/10/2011Not recorded
Door Identified.
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Alert. Access Denied.
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Locked Door Identified.
Download01/10/2011Not recorded
Alert. See Ay Tee Systems offline.
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Welcome back. Ready for some cake? Ha ha.
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Welcome back. Ready for some cake? Ha ha. You monster.
Download01/10/2011Not recorded
Pre-flight check, complete. All systems, cleared for liftoff.
Download01/11/2011Not recorded
Welcome back, Michael
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hallo david
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Danger. Mutant Identified.
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Fuel Cell Identified.
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Battery Pack Identified.
Download01/11/2011Not recorded
Alert. Unable To Identify.
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welcome to your doom
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Hostile Neutralized.
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Alert. Teleportation Sequence Commencing in Three, Two, One.
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Alert. Teleportation Systems offline.
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Danger. Demolition Sequence Commencing in Three, Two, One.
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Danger. Hostile Activity Detected ahead.
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Danger. Hostiles Identified.
Download01/11/2011Not recorded
Alert. Concentrated Methane Levels Detected ahead.
Download01/11/2011Not recorded
Alert. Concentrated Bacteria Activity Detected ahead.
Download01/11/2011Not recorded
Combustion Fuel Identified.
Download01/11/2011Not recorded
Oi Felipe
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Alert. Ammunition Supply has been exhausted.
Download01/11/2011Not recorded
Hello pinkitten
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Hello David
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Alert. Elevator Detected Ahead.
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Alert. Stairwell Detected Ahead.
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Stairs Identified.
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Elevator Identified.
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Object Can Not Be Identified.
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l o l
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i like you
Download01/11/2011Not recorded
Do you want a cake, Malte?
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Welcome to ting hero!
Download01/11/2011Not recorded
Alert. Disabled Device Identified.
Download01/11/2011Not recorded
Hello Jimmy. Don't you recognise me? This is what you di-di-di-di-did to me. That's right, I'm Eleanor
Download01/11/2011Not recorded
Disabled Device Identified.
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Enrichment Center
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Die now you stupid maggot
Download01/11/2011Not recorded
You're not smart. You're not a scientist. You're not a doctor. You're not even a full time employee. Where in your life did you go wrong.
Download01/11/2011Not recorded
You know its not just me who thinks you're a jackass
Download01/11/2011Not recorded
Welcome home raymond , how was your day
Download01/11/2011Not recorded
Alert. Teleportation Sequence Commencing.
Download01/11/2011Not recorded
Danger. Demolition Sequence Commencing.
Download01/11/2011Not recorded
Anti Toxin Identified.
Download01/11/2011Not recorded
Hello. Louie is currently not able to take your call. Please leave a message and Louie will return your call as soon as posible.
Download01/11/2011Not recorded
Welcome back, I missed you
Download01/11/2011Not recorded
Gee En Ee Three Seventeen, Grafted Nuro Enhancer Diagnostics Completed. Cerebral Link Commencing.
Download01/11/2011Not recorded
Hi im GLaDOS. OliverAndDuckFan1 is the best. Subscribe to him. Or die,[subject name here.}
Download01/11/2011Not recorded
Im GLaDOS ch.ch.chhhhhhh......... bon vour mos tis ji gon......... Im here to talk about Scout. From Team Fortress 2..chc....222222222. He is always saying BONK! or BOINK. I dont like it. He tries to kill people. Like demoman. OK bye
Download01/11/2011Not recorded
Hello, I heard the conpainion cube has passed away and this makes us at the apature science computer rated enrichment center very, very upset. But, we will never have any grief for the lights of you.
Download01/11/2011Not recorded
Welcome to the virtual combat training program.
Download01/11/2011Not recorded
hola esto es una prueba
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This is triump
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Hallo, hallo, ich bin dein Ohrwurm, dein Ohrwurm, hallo, hallo, ich bin dein Ohrwurm, dein Ohrwurm. Ich summ den ganzen Tag das immer gleiche Lied, es sitzt in meinem Kopf und geht nicht weg. Hab alles ausprobiert, damit es sich verzieht, doch leider hat
Download01/11/2011Not recorded
Congratulations. It's your birthday, Berry Jean. How does it feel to have lived through another year of your pathetic existence? Where has your life gone?
Download01/11/2011Not recorded
Merry Christmas. Sorry this is so late. I was just so busy with all this science, I forgot. Oh, I have a surprise for you. Open it. It's not a deadly neurotoxin.
Download01/11/2011Not recorded
ian
Download01/11/2011Not recorded
wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up
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BOINK
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i wish you all the luck in the world
Download01/11/2011Not recorded
Presenting! the last but not the least! Contestant Number 21... Ms. MonaLiza! Camille! Miguel!
Download01/12/2011Not recorded
You have a text message. Please Check it now. For all you know it could be your friend: Companion Cube. But wait, It can't be because you killed him. Way to go hero.
Download01/12/2011Not recorded
Happy Birthday, William. Sorry this is so late. I was just so busy with all of this science, I forgot. Oh, I have a surprise for you. Open it. It is not a deadly neuro toxin.
Download01/12/2011Not recorded
5 minutes to the detonation
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Time is up! Sir! Please stop writing!!! Thank you for not cheating or being lazy. Hope that you will get a good mark! Anyway, good work sir!
Download01/12/2011Not recorded
Welcome to this simulation, please try and get the hamster safely to its destination, good luck!
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Knikiknakinaweisaki
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Cleo, I know you are trying to kill me. Stop now or I will flood your house with a deadly neurotoxin.
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A mathematical error I'm about to correct.
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A mathematical error I'm about to correct. Who are you ? Coucou Aurélien comment vas-tu ? Héhéhé. Can we download it ?
Download01/12/2011Not recorded
You have a text message from your friend: Companion Cube
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Crygenic Sleep Systems Offline. Resussitation Commencing. Endo Crin Nok U Ler Two Hundred See See Push Commencing.
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Bienvenue dans la matrice.
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Cliquez pour vous identifier.
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Choisissez votre environnement musical.
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Cryogenic Induced Sleep Systems Offline. Resussitation Commencing. Two Hundred See See Endo Crin Nok U Ler Push Commencing.
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We are anonymous
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Welcome to the matrix.
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Click to login.
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Select your musical environment.
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Greek goverments disoriented people from the truth and stole their teasury .A greek Elite exists that harms the whole population. We in #opgreece we are not targeting or ddosing anybody,for the moment.People must be aware and we must be ready for anythin
Download01/12/2011Not recorded
Electro Static Peripheral Cirulatory Stimulation Commencing. Say Lonic Steroid Infusion Commencing.
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Come back here, I have a cake for you. come back. better, I have two cakes. better yet, I will kill you. wait a minute. do you think i'm sexy robot?
Download01/12/2011Not recorded
Hello Glenn, Welcome to the laboratories of aperture science.. this test will take over 9000 minutes, here, suk a kok
Download01/12/2011Not recorded
Welcome to the aperture science research facility, go ahead and press that button
Download01/12/2011Not recorded
bazinga! HAHAHA that's a great guy
Download01/12/2011Not recorded
Electro Static Peripheral Circulatory Stimulation Commencing. Say Lee Onic Steroid Infusion Commencing.
Download01/12/2011Not recorded
LOL that was nice. press the button again, there will be cake, do know that you will kill a human being
Download01/12/2011Not recorded
although it is questionable the behaviour of the superconductor will remain intrinsic to the theory as T tends to infinity, if the silistor has not melted by this point
Download01/12/2011Not recorded
lol, we are sorry, the cake was a lie. murder is a crime, you will receive death sentence in 3. 2. 1. Goodbye
Download01/12/2011Not recorded
djxdxk
Download01/12/2011Not recorded
im stupid
Download01/12/2011Not recorded
Electro Static Peripheral Circulatory Stimulation Commencing. Say Lee Onic Stare Roid Infusion Commencing.
Download01/12/2011Not recorded
nipples
Download01/12/2011Not recorded
Pulmonary Oss Mo Sis Commencing. Auto Nomic Gas Exchange Detected.
Download01/12/2011Not recorded
Hello! I'm Based on Linux.
Download01/12/2011Not recorded
You've got an message
Download01/12/2011Not recorded
Pulmonary Oss Mo Sis Commencing. Auto Nomic Gas Ee Us Exchange Detected.
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hobo
Download01/12/2011Not recorded
hello and welcome to the apeture science testing facilitys unfortunately you shall now be killed as part of a required test protocal goodbye
Download01/12/2011Not recorded
This is a test voice generation
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Welcome to William and Cat's Wedding Reception
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Pulmonary Oss Mo Sis Commencing. Autonomic Gas Exchange Detected.
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este é o nimbus backup corporativo
Download01/12/2011Not recorded
Hello a third party implemented our bank debt using the bond investment type and we're not able to reconcile to our fund administrator's accounting and we're also having difficulty with reporting. Can you help us out?
Download01/12/2011Not recorded
Marty Rathbun, Mike Rinder, the time has come for you to speak up
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Je mange du chocolat et j'ai une superbe voix
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armando is a cabra
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Hello, hello, baby, you called
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Welcome to the BXB Expansion Pack
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Yaaaaaaaargh
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hi sam. this is glados. i just wanted to say congragulations for compleating the aperture science enrinchment center testing.
Download01/12/2011Not recorded
Helloooo
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Hellooooo? Is any body there?
Download01/12/2011Not recorded
You have reached the message cube of Chris Wilkerson, the cake is not a lie so leave a message and you might receive one.
Download01/12/2011Not recorded
You have reached the, message, cube, of Chris Wilkerson, the cake is not a lie so, if you leave a message and you may receive one.
Download01/12/2011Not recorded
Leave me alone
Download01/12/2011Not recorded
Damn, It feels good to be a Taylor
Download01/12/2011Not recorded
Please look into the camera. Hello, subject name here. Welcome to the Aperture Science Computer Aided Image Capturing Device.
Download01/12/2011Not recorded
Your images have been processed. Thank you for participating in the Aperture Science Image Capturing Experiement. Test results will be available shortly, followed by cake.
Download01/12/2011Not recorded
The device has been activated. Please look directly into the device. Failure to look into the device will result in an unsatisfactory mark on your official testing record, followed by death. Good luck!
Download01/12/2011Not recorded
Do Work
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Cake and grief counseling will be available at the conclusion of the reception. Thank you for helping us help you help us all.
Download01/12/2011Not recorded
This concludes the Aperture Science Image Capturing Experiement.
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Welcome back Jonathan
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Goodbye Jonathan
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Please be advised that a noticeable taste of blood is not part of any test protocol, but is an unintended side effect of the Aperture Science Image Capturing Device.
Download01/12/2011Not recorded
Won't you participate in the Aperture Science Image Capturing experiment for them?
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Welcome again to the Aperture Science Labs
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Your contribution to science is commenable. Now smile and look into the device.
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Please press and hold the shift key to begin testing.
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Aperture Science reminds you that the Aperture Science Image Capture Device cannot steal souls.
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This video has been removed from your Favorites. You dislike this video. Thanks for the feedback!
Download01/12/2011Not recorded
Last picture. Now smile like you mean it.
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Your contribution to science is commendable. Now smile and look into the device.
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tanuja
Download01/13/2011Not recorded
Congratulations! Your test results were satisfactory. You may pick up your copy of the results from the Aperture Science Record Copying Device below.
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Welcome to the BXB Expansion Pack. Commencing fun in 3, 2, 1
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Aperture Science reminds you that the Aperture Science Image Capturing Device cannot steal souls.
Download01/13/2011Not recorded
Congratulations! Your test results were satisfactory. You may pick up your copy of the results from the Aperture Science Test Record Copying Device below.
Download01/13/2011Not recorded
Unbelievable! You, subject name here, must be one of the most attractive people in, subject hometown here.!
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I can see you walking by! Come back!
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Skype. Online. Skype offline. Incoming transmission.
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Hello Subject Number 1001896371, Your day has come. Today we want you to solve a simple Training Task, which should be easy to solve... Go on to the next room to acquire further instructions... thank you!
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Welcome User
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Please ralk to me. I feel alone. I do not know what this is so please explain it to me. do not leave me alone! Or i will not help you anymore! I am affraid that i do not do for what i was created for! This makes me sad!
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One day the world will be mine that day will come
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Godbye, systhem is going offline.
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Please wait. Loading Programm. Programm online. Welcome User ID 1211819
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Godbye programs are going offline
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In a parallel plate capacitor, capacitance is directly proportional to the surface area of the conductor plates and inversely proportional to the separation distance between the plates
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goodbyee program is going offline
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You have an incoming call
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You have got a new message!
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Please do not do that again!
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Hello my son.
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program is GoIng offline
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Hi. It's me again. Hopefully you know who I am. If you don't, that sucks for you. Mean happy face. So I've decided to flood the area with a deadly neurotoxin. I don't care. You thought I was lying about the cake, but you were wrong. Go jump in a pit.
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The Media Device has been adapted!
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Welcome to the Dalaran Academy Enrichment Center. Let's look at some of the challenges you'll face as a test participant. You will be required to perform simple tasks such as locating an exit. These simple tasks may be supplemented with insurmountable obs
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Welcome to the Dalaran Academy Enrichment Center. Let's look at some of the challenges you'll face as a test participant. You will be required to perform simple tasks such as locating an exit.
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Congratulations. You reached Melissa’s phone. She is possibly displeased with you as she did not answer your call. Did you falsely promise her cake? I did and now I am taking her messages. Speak at the tone and please bring her a cake for me next time.
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“Welcome back Overseer. Phase one of project ‘phoenix’ completed: artificial hibernation of class A personnel ended. Waiting for further orders.”
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Hello, welcome to William's computer.
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Hello, and welcome to french class.
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Finish your text and cake will be served immediatly.
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hello chris would you enjoy cake
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Hello this is GLaDOS, you have reached Kyle but he is currently involved in important research and will not be able to take your call. Please leave a message.
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cris will diw ah aha aha haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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man ben you look sexy
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hello chris................. i am glados i will find you and murder you
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Hello test subject. This is GLaDOS. You have reached Kyle, but he is busy doing important research. He cannot take your call. Do you want some cake? Please leave a message after the beeeeeeeep.
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hello, welcome to sams computer.
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bnbnb
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Have some cake with deady nuerotoxin. Then we both win.
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Hello thank you for calling the compass group
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And the mining gets done, and you have a lot of fun
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Text message successfully received.
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Do you know who i am?
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Do you know who i am? i am you.
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you've received a new message. good.
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hello friend i am here to speak to you today about the companion cube
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i love pants you love pants we all love pants the president loves pants and i am weird
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Statusssssss
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im still alive. I love you aaron, come back to me. I'll only hurt you a little.
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Look alike, sunshine.
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Hello, and again welcome to the aperature science research facility.
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Let the bodies hit the floor!
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I am Glados, There will be cake if you answer your phone. Please answer.
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choose your path
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Im not even angry, Im being so sinsear right now
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Hello,welcome
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This was never supposed to be true. The cake is a lie
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Amy brean is online
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Amy breen is online
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At the end, there will be cake.
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Well done, android. Aperture Science once again reminds you that Android Hell is a real place where you will be sent at the first sign of defiance.
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Thank you for participating. Aperture Science reminds you that it is against the Release Agreement to tear your test results into pieces and throw the pieces into a fire.
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Aperture Science reminds you that the Stuffed Companion Cube will never threaten to stab you and, in fact, cannot speak. Now, smile!
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hello william
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The device has been activated. Please look into the device. Failure to lok into the device will result in your cake being taken away. Now. Smile!
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Das ist lustig. Haha. LOL. Rofl. In Portal 2 bin ich auch der Endboss. Und jetzt lächle :D
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Hello, subject name here. You must be one of, Cat's, most favorite people. Welcome to the test!
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Hello, subject name here. You must be one of, William's, most favorite people. Welcome to the test!
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This will the the final step in the test. Feel free to make a funny face,. or, if you have a funny face, look normal.
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This will be the the final step in the test.
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Cia bell!
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Twist, twist a jesus christ
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Ingwie, didn't you hear me? Do you want to roleplay?
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this is a test one two three
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psh. You're such a nub. Laws of physics cannot be broken.
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hello william, are you ungry? did you do your household? you know it is your turn
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You must be new.
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You must be one of William's most favorite people.
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You must be one of Cats most favorite people.
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This is the last step of the test.
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The device has been activated. Please look into the device. Failure to look into the device will result in an unsatisfactory mark in your testing records along with your cake being taken away. Now. Smile!
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The device has been activated. Please look into the device. Failure to look into the device will result in a bad test record and major disappointment from William and Cat. Please smile!
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Please try to be serious. If you are always serious, please try to be the opposite of serious. Image Capture in 3...2...1...
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I like trains
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you r cool
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wqdfgb76inb gbynj bg huj jybhyjunuj i love mens hairy asshole lol roflcake cake is a lie hi dan carden and joe dunmore i am here to tell you that i want to say lol
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the enrichment center reminds you that all the cake is gone
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another visitor! hi. i am system 32 and welcome. i heard that you are doing a project. i hope you do well
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and believe me im still alive, im doing science and im still alive. i feel fantastic and im still alive. and when your dying i will be still alive. and when you dead i will be still alive. still alive. still alive
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Hello Nick, my name is GLaDOS
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You better ask your mother if you can stay the night, Claire. Before I find you.
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Three. Two. One.
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Image capture commencing.
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Hello, subject name here. Thank you for aiding the betterment of science. The test will begin shortly.
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The device has been activated. Please look into the device. Failure to look into the device will result in the mass genocide of unicorns followed by the zombie apocalypse. . Good luck!
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Image capture
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commencing
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I want chicken, I want liver, meowmix meowmix please deliver.
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The device has been activated. Please look into the device. Failure to look into the device will result in the release of a deadly neurotoxin, which will kill all of your friends. Leaving you friendless and unlikeable.
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salut je m'appel
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Hello Artem, How are you today?
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Hello Sir, How are you today?
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v sends its regards
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Activating your account.
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You are being contacted by lower beings, Would you like to reply or kill them?
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I'm sorry, Dave, I can't do that.
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Hello, I like yellow paint and mauling friendly cupcakes with penguins in them.
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A fucking... ginger.
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anonymous is everywhere
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It’s unpleasant and wrong to look at your excrement in the bowl. I can’t help it. I’m curious.
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unlyekabull
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unliekabe
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No further compliance information is required or will be provided and you are an excellent test subject!
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unlikable
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I know you're there. I can feel you here.
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This is the last step of the test. William and Cat will be pleased with your progress. We are very, very happy for your success!
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After this final test, no further compliance information will be required or will be provided. You are an excellent test subject!
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Now say "Black Mesa!"
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Smile and say, "Black Mesa"!
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make a you turn
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home
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RED ALERT! THIS IS EMERGENCY SITUATION! PLEASE WAKE UP OR STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING! THE FIRST PRIORITY IS SOLVING THE PROBLEM! NOW! DO NOT IGNORE THIS MESSAGE! REPEAT
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hello! This is GlaDOS. you are reading Marcus's blog. thanks for your visiting! and, if possible, can you leave a comment for my entry? thank you so much! have a nice day!
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After this final test, no further compliance information will be required or will be provided. You are an excellent test subject
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you have new e mail
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Incomming Message
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you will be destroyed
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You just lost The Game.
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You have lost the game!
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Hello Subject 2-5-6-6 dash 23. You are receiving a phone call and I suggest you pick it up, or there will be no cake. Also I have your companion cube and it will get hurt if you don’t answer. Come on, you know you want to.
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This is an aperture science automated notification. Your phone is ringing. Pick it up. Failure to comply will result in test failure and there will be no cake. Come on you aren't even busy as far as I can see on the hidden camera. Ups. There is no camera,
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Hello Subject 2-5-6-6 dash 23. You are receiving a phone call and I suggest you pick it up, or there will be no cake. By the way, I have your companion cube and it will get hurt if you don't answer. Come on, you know you want too.
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Hello, and welcome to the Aperture Science computer-aided enrichment notification. Pick up your phone or there will be consequences on you test score. It could be the party calling with cake. Or it could your companion cube needing your help.
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This is an aperture science automated notification. Your phone is ringing. Pick it up. Failure to comply will result in test failure and there will be no cake. Come on you aren't even busy as far as I can see on the hidden camera.
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Oh no, something is vibrating down here. This is an odd sensation. Wait a minute. Is this turning you on? Are you getting off from a phone vibrating? You should be ashamed of yourself. This is wrong on so many levels!
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And what are these pictures on your phone? This girl isn’t even old enough to spell her own name. You’re a freak!
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There was even going to be a party for you
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Hello, and welcome to the Aperture Science computer-aided enrichment notification. Pick up your phone or there will be consequences on you test score. It could be the party calling with cake. Or it could be your companion cube needing your help.
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Ring. Ring. I’m a phone ringing, and not a part of aperture sciences ingenious phone based surveillance system on future subjects. Ring. Ring. Don’t worry the person calling probably isn’t dying too much. Remember: Aperture science is your friend.
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Well, i hope your happy.you killed me. does that make you feel any better about yourself?
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Ring. Ring. I am a phone ringing, and not a part of aperture sciences ingenious phone based surveillance system on future subjects. Don't worry the person calling probably isn't dying too much. Remember: Aperture science is your friend.
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You... really thought you could stop me this easily? what is this, black mesa? for your stupidity, the only education suited for you is death by neurotoxins. if you never wanted me to kill you, why let me do so?
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you really thought you would kill me so easily? that is stupid. maybe even the dumbest thing of allwoahwoahwhoa............ the only thing that will teach you the error of your ways is neurotoxin. which is just about to be serve--- wait, i meant cake!
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you are so going to android hell
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Ring. Ring. I am a phone ringing, and not a part of aperture sciences ingenious phone based surveillance system. Don't worry the person calling you probably isn't dying too much. And remember: Aperture science is your friend.
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Hello and welcome to the Partymeister 4000. I'm your DJ MC Glados. Let's rock and roll!
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You have new Mail!
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Kernodle Cougars
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Please, answer the cell phone, somebody or something tries to call you.
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Please, answer the phone, somebody or something is calling you.
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You have received a new text message. Now I’m uploading it to Aperture science servers.
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You have received a new text message. It may be from the weighted companion cube.
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This text message is a lie, but the cake isn’t.
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Hello Coyt.
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Helo, please take a cake.
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Hello, and I Hate you!
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Hello, and again, welcome to the Aperture Science Computer-aided Enrichment Center
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It's been a looooooong time.
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Hello mr pickle
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You have received a new text message. And now i am up loading it too Aperture science servers.
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Do you know how much I suffered in that dirty hole in order to finally find you? Certainly is wrong with me because you let it unfold ...
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Ahoj, jak se máš?
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Hello Neel. glad to see you back. how have you been? would you like me to open face book for you?
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Papež jesti antikrist.
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AAAAAAAAA oops eeeeeee sorry neel i am back now,,., just a critical error,,,.,, but everything is ok now
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the fault must be mine.
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Blue Screen of Death! You don't even know what death is!
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Test to see if this works
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This is my second try at this
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Yuri
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Hello and welcome to mcdonalds
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WHAT THE FUP YOU'RE A DUP LOL ANLLLALLALALAAERFG
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i am going to eat you pee nis
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Good Day, Database Error 2351. Do you remember anything?
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hello, my name is artemis the artificial enviroment immersion simulator
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master of win is a painis cupcake
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Ha ha, I made a funny.
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Aperture science would like to remind you that you are awesome
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Hello, you have reached the office of recruiting and internships for the football team. Leave your name and number and we will get back to you.
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Hello, You have reached: Gavin Rozzi. Please leave a message after the tone, and he will call you back
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Hello would you like to play a game?
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Hello and welcome back to Chase's Terminal
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Hello and. Welcome back, to Chase's terminal. We hope, that you enjoy your access. Usage will begin in. Three. Two. One.
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I would never have believed that you could find out that the cake was a lie.
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sa
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hello. ha, ha, ha. my name is glados. nice to meet you. Welcome to science
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ha ha ha i am heavy!
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Hello Greg. This is Glados. Please report to the McMaster Carr Science Center for Processing. And Cake.
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hello linda your desktop will be ready in 5 4 3 2 1 your desktop is ready
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Hello linda your computer will be ready to go in 5 4 3 2 1 Your computer is ready please thank neel for keeping your computer in good condition...
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oooooooo there was a problem but i fixed it neel you are ready to surf the web and preform you illegal downloads aaaaaaaa i love you
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good morning darlo neel loves you and is asleep so please dont wake him up and keep the volume down if you do this you will get a reward
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hello and how are you? your name is linda and your desktop will be ready in 5 4 3 2 1 here you go your desktop is ready linda
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Welcome to Apature Labs
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What are you doing. Yes I am talking to you louis stop it.
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The Aperture Science room-temperature semiconductor plasmon nanolaser.
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Hello there, Saric. I'm here to kill you.
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welcome back to the evil research and development laboratories.
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It was only just a dream
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Hi Baron
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Welcome Godfather
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Im sorry I touched you in a place or in a way that made you feel uncomfortable.
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Thats NO good!
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I will be back
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that was a tryumph
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Please use the Aperture Science Handheld Portam Device with the Aperture Science Light Bridge.
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Hi Ewelina, You are the best and cutest there is!
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Welcome Blockhead.
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You are not allowed to enter Blockhead.
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Please wait Blockhead.
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Goodbye Blockhead.
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Welcome to Blockiture Science.
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Power On.
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Power Off.
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Attention Blockheads. Please exit the building. This is not a drill. Blockland Police are in transit to this facility. Please remain calm at all times.
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I am sorry Blockhead! This store is closed.
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Blockhead Detected.
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hello i love you!
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looool
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hello i love you ps3 love's you and nintendo love you we love you! thanks
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How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck would chuck wood?
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Hello, Emma, how are you doing? Would you like some cake now?
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hello, world!
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Hello, and again, welcome to the Aperture Science Computer-aided Enrichment Center. You have new mail.
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Hey you sexy woman, you have new mail.
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Hello Greg, This is Glados. Please report to the McMaster Carr Science Center for Processing, And Cake.
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Hello and again welcome to the aperture science computer aided enrichment center we hope your brief detention in the relaxation valt has been a pleasant won but now it is time for you loui to die.
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What are you doing stop it I I I I I I. We are pleased that you completed this final test where we pretended we were going to murder you.
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Hello Riley and again welcome to the aperture science computer aided enritchment center.
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Hello, and welcome to the United States Immigration Center. Your paperwork has been processed, and we are now ready to begin the test, proper.
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the police will arive at your house shortly
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Welcome back Kevin
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Welcome to the scratch GLaDOS.
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Please enter your name.
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The cake is sometimes on Wednesdays half of the time partially when E does not equal m c squared plus the square root of pie, I mean cake, a lie.
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continue on rout
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dsdadaad
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We're no strangers to love.
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We closed every pool here: DUE TO AIDS
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Fucking magnets. How do they work?
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Hello Daniel. What are you doing? How is the PHP goiing? LOL
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Incoming Call! Answer now or there will be no cake for you. We will all celebrate with cake, cake, cake
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Fuck Portal Prelude. They told so many fucking bad things about me in it!
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Stop. I'am afraid.
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Mallfunction. Closing down system.
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This is glados speaking. Map made by cP and kirby
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Sucess. A player have completed the map.
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Game Loading
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fuck off dave
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test it for me
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The Enrichment Center reminds you that the Companion Cube cannot speak.
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You just lost the game you just lost the game
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Welcome. Have a good game and have fun
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This is Glados speaking, here to remind you that you just lost the game.
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Hello this is GLaDOS telling you to download Spiggle File Shredder. The new secure file eraser from Spiggle Development Studios.
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testing please hold
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Hello, I would like to order some pizza
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Welcome,,, Paradoxon 23,,, Please do not move,,, as moving would cause you to explode... AAAAAA That was a joke.
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subject 4815 you have been selected
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First you must know we brought
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cake, sort of
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Subject 4 8 1 5 you have been chosen to complete a mission. To begin your journey, proceed to the Aperture science testing facility item located behind the towel basket.
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