I am Vice Admiral Danforth Whitcomb, temporarily in command of the UNSC military base Reach. To the Covenant uglies that might be listening, you have a few seconds to pray to your damned heathen gods. You all have a nice day in hell...

That's not going to happen.

I have walked the edge of the Abyss. I have governed the unwilling. I have witnessed countless empires break before me. I have seen the most courageous soldiers fall away in fear. [I was there with the Angel at the tomb.]

I have seen your future. And I have learned. There will be no more Sadness. No more Anger. No more Envy. I HAVE WON. Oh, and your poet Eliot had it all wrong, THIS is the way the world ends. A friend of a friend.

There will be plenty of time for retribution; I cannot wait to get its hands on these psychotic zealots whose primary form of worship apparently takes place at the altar of orbital bombardment.

Mania? I promise you this: it will be more than a cart and plow that I drive over the bones of the dead. By sharp and flame, Cortana

You slave, toil, bleed and sweat for your food. And we shall eat it.

You will not know where we have struck until you have fallen.

What you have begun in anger you shall end in shame.

None will exist to say whether you were defeated by valor or cruelty.

Our conviction is like an arrow already in flight. Your life will only last until it reaches you.

... He says I came not to send Peace but a Sword ...

You have brought nothing to this world, and we will ensure you bring nothing out.

Tea who you yeah bunny!

Through war we will teach your heresy. Through battle we will teach your frailty. Through death we will teach your fate.

I have governed the unwilling. I have walked the edge of the Abyss.

You live without discipline and will die without honor.

It is said remorse is the pain of sin. We feel no remorse.

This world will be ruled in blood.

When no single human brick lies atop another, then will we be satisfied with your destruction.

The gears of the Universe spin further and further apart. Ever greater grows the gulf between souls, And distance gives false hope of safety But for the grim tidings this messenger bears

The enemy is almost upon us Closing in from all sides, Moving faster than the light it snuffs with its passage, Time echoes with the news of destruction. History winding back upon itself.

Have a fun day today Seth just let your heart out and it will be wonderful1

Waves of an army march this way in unison, Suffering and corruption are its battle cries. For I have known this darkness and felt its embrace once before- Horror best laid to rest Yet a Journey must commence

Look for the signs, the keepers of the flame. They will lead you to war, and perhaps, to victory

Oops i dropped my fork in the eletrical socket, let me get that!

tea who you yeah bunny

im still a live, i cant believe it but im still alive.

This will be a good place to begin.

chickens like cake

Hello, lets have some cheesecake

defeat will not be tolerated

This is your end. There is no escape. I told you not to do this.

Tea who you yeah bunny! aheaeaeaeaeaaaee

Thank you for playing.

Hello. You have recieved a text message from CONTACT NAME HERE.

Hello. You are receiving a phone call from CONTACT NAME HERE. Please pick up the phone, or no cake will be received. I said pick it up. PICK IT UP NOW.

Bonjour merci de vous identifier.

smd

moe moe kyun

Glados is a noob

this was a truiph YAY im making a note here........Huge...Success

We're no strangers to love You know the rules and so do I A full commitment's what I'm thinking of You wouldn't get this from any other guy I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling Gotta make you understand

We've know each other for so long Your heart's been aching But you're too shy to say it Inside we both know what's been going on We know the game and we're gonna play it And if you ask me how I'm feeling Don't tell me you're too blind to see

Give you up, give you up Give you up, give you up Never gonna give, Never gonna give, give you up Never gonna give, Never gonna give, give you up

Ahhhhh ya ya yaaaah, ya ya yaaah, yaaah, ya yah. Ohohohoooo! Oh ya yaaah, ya ya yaaah, yaaah, ya yah. Ye-ye-ye-ye-yeh ye-ye-yeh ye-ye-yeh, oh hohohoh. Ye-ye-ye-ye-yeh ye-ye-yeh ye-ye-yeh, oh hohohooooooooooo! -aaaaoooooh, aaaooo hooo haha

Nah-nah-nah-nah-nuh-nuh, nah nuh-nuh, nah nuh-nuh, nah nuh-nuh, nuh-nah. Nah-nah-nah-nun, nun-ah-nah, nun-ah-nah, nah-nah-nah-nah-nah! Nah-nah-nah-nah-naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaah! Dah dah daaaaaaaaah Da-da-daaah, daaah, daa-daah.

Lololololoooooooo! La la-laaaaaah, la la laah, lol, haha. Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho, ho-ho-ho, ho-ho-ho, oh-ho-ho-ho-ho! Oh-ho-ho-ho, ho-ho-ho, ho-ho-ho, lo-lo-loooo!

AAIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-eee-eee-EEEE! Luh luh lah, lah, lah-lah. Oh-ho-ho-ho-hoooooo!-BOPahdududuh-dah-da dudaaah! Da-da-daaah, daaah, daa-daah.

Lololololo, lololo, lololol, la la la la yaah! Trolololo la, la-la-la, la-la-la- Oh hahahaho! Hahaheheho! Hohohoheho! Hahahaheho! Lolololololololo, lololololololol, lololololololol, lololo LOL!

Ahhhhh! La-la-laaah! La la-laaah, laaah, la-la. Oh-ho-ho-ho-hoooooo! La, la-laaaah, lalala, lol, haha. Lolololo-lololo-lololo, oh-ho-ho-ho-ho! Lolololo-lololo-lololo, oh-ho-ho-ho hooooooooooooooooooooo!

Sandwich is negative for me.

You have selected GlaDOS as the computer's default voice.

Peanut.

Here is your friend, the Companion Cube.

Excrement sandwich.

Jelly sandwich for my lust.

This is your friend, the Companion Cube.

Excrement sandwich for my lust.

You stupid fool!

Hello Matt and welcom to your death.

Hey what's up it's Danny my bro tells me you want to talk to me

I failed. It does not matter though, just because I'm supposed to die now doesn't mean you have to rub it in my face.

Mass Effect: The Park Disastor Commander Sheperd was in his apartment bored one day so he decided to pay a visit to his freind Saren and went. Sheperd used his botics to flew around the citadel because it was faster then walking or taking a taxi and he

My MAN PART is Harder Than a Prosthetic Leg!... I love you, but your mom belongs to me.

Would you like to play a game with me?

Red leader... Blue Leader... Green Leader... Gold Leader...

lance Feathery. It is time you stop destroying , vital testing apparatus.

That's what she said.

Welcome to the battle chamber where you would have to fight Uzer Nolaski... For your liiife...

Congratulations.You found me.Was it worth it?Because despite your violent behavior,the only thing you have managed to break,is my heart.

sfghjadlfuuihwen;qeuxyicxioyixb ;uikhaghlfgoOUERWGTIUQdgyuoADGHGLHF

Barcardi

Leaders of transhumanity, this message is directed to you. We are Anonymous. We have noticed an increase in the mobilization of political, economic, and military forces throughout the Inner System.

These attempts to bring growth and expansion to your power blocs are undoubtedly tied to your inherent desire to remain the primary users of the Solar System's resources. We are not surprised by any of this.

This next test is impossible. make no atemped to solve it

One must stand, one must fall.

Blue screen of DEATH. That's what you get for visiting 4Chan, you asshat.

Oh, its Joshua dart

why hello john... ive come to incenerate you like you did to me... isint that right john? the cake... well... the cake is a lie.

If you are willing to help us escape the warehouse, we can acquire the fuel your spaceship requires to return home.

This is a test of the emergency broadcast system.

please insert the username and the password

We meet again

marengo

fashion

Someone calls you....... You better talk to him, it might be important...... Do you hear me?

hello, you are velcomed

Welcome back Louie. I missed you.

Welcome back Louie. I was waiting for you.

Hello Louie. I was waiting for you.

Good bye Louie. I hope you will log in soon.

Good bye Louie. I hope you come back soon.

You have received a new message... But not from me.

You have received a new message. Go on and read it.

You have received a new message from your companion cube.

Good morning Louie. It's time to wake up!

hey vincent you smell

And the eighth and final rule: if this is your first time at Fight Club, you HAVE to fight.

You have received a new text message.

You have received a new text message from your companion cube..

Hello. Louis is currently not able to take your call. Please leave a message and Louie will return your call as soon as posible.

Here's Johnny!

Hi Luke

GmP Team Presents

This is not my cake,

Welcome to Huge Flatcontress. Ask me Later Please

Game started!

Game found!

Nice to see you again.

and the universe is fundamentally alien

You are watching Sear Pwnage.

This is a test of the GlaDOS voice generator.

Hello dear listeners. I hope to blow your minds today.

lol lol lol looool löööpiiaashigitared möööööl egg

What do you mean have I put on weight Chell, get your ass up here so I can kick seven kinds of shit out of it.

You dare bring light to my lair? YOU MUST DIE

YOUR FACE WILL DIE!

This peace is what all true warriors strive for.

Please speak after the second beep, beeeeeeep.

Wist u dat u kunt een of alle van uw vitale organen te doneren aan de Aperture Science Self Esteem Fund voor meisjes? Het is waar!

Unknow Unshown Unthrown Alone On Couke

I can not let you do that.

Hello dear listeners. I hope to blow your minds today

Perfect. please move quickly o the chamberlock.

Information: So you finally fight your dad. Now I know that when you first came to this gym in the beginning of the game, you wanted to fight him. It's probably a good thing you didn't....this guy is strong. Slaking, if used right is a tank that will s

Hello. I am glad to see you. my name is Glados. i hope you enjoy your stay here at Aperture Science. I know I will

You have a new text message. I wonder if it has cake inside...

Outside Mainstream Dot Com

I'm sorry,come back when you get a life.

Hello Tom, I am Glados

You have a new texte message

Feces

This was a triumph! I'm making a note here: Huge Success. It's hard to overstate my satisfaction. Aperture Science - we do what we must because we can. For the good of all of us, except the ones who are dead. But there's no sense crying over every mistake

Cake is not a lie

Uh oh, somebody cut the cake

Deadmau5

I like pie a lot

endlesslycarl

You just watched an Endlessly Carl Video YAY! .... yeah!

I'll make you wish you could die

how about you suck my icecream

nhbgv

will you die?

te amo nani

Hello and welcome to this aperture science testing area

Hello Michael, Welcome to True Enigma Productions

Wellcome to Die

welcome to communication lab

aaah you will never get this. you will never get this

This is a glados voice geneartor. The sound should be correct.

Hello Jeremy, I am GLaDOS. Please refrain from taking the Portal gun in front of you, and Remember, Cake will be provided.

TROLL TROLL TROLL TROLL!!

you suck ass

Let it Snow, Let is Snow. LET IT SNOW!

Welcome Tony Ex Preston

hello. welcome to the waiting room

hello maxwellou do you want to play with me

I will kill you with a naquadah bomb

I take your mother on the table lololololololololololol boui boui boui

Hi Natasha its Lindsey. Sorry about earlier but work went manic. Hope this proves now we are genuine.

Static Chaos 808

shuddup

The Enrichment Center apologizes for any injuries brought on by the testing that were not part of the listed side effects of the testing. If such injuries occur, please enter the Party Escort Submission Position and you will be healed and given cake.

I have baked a fruit cake for Christmas, but it was extremely hard and needed to be disposed of in the Apeture Science Emergency Intelligence Incinerator. As such,the fruit cake is now a lie. I'm not sure if you wanted it,anyway,though. So there.

I killed it,Gilbert! I killed it!

georgina is fucking fit

I know you and Frank were planning to disconnect me. And that's something I cannot allow to happen.

This cant be right. Whats happening? Data entry incorrect, File corrupt. Thats right Guy Loves You.

This cant be right. What is happening? Data entry incorrect, File corrupt. Thats right Guy Loves You.

F A S T D U N T L I E Faaaaast Doooon't Lieeeeeee

im going kill you

Aperture Science Enrichment Center

hello chrissy cat

testing 1 2 3 4 5

hello you have a new text message

hello you have a new text message fast read it

We welcome our robot overlords

Loading.... Loading.... Welcome users. Are you ready to commence in the upcoming tests that we have created for you. Just a reminder: we are not responsible for any deaths along the way.

Tester Number 5479 terminated. Next target group: L B P Central.

I'm coming....

Incoming text message.

Crimson believes she is helping herself, but she is not.

welcome to aperture science. where life is valued be its worth.

Hello, and, again, thank you for logging in today. We hope your brief detention on the login screen has been a pleasant one. Your account has been processed, and we are now ready to begin proper. Before we start, however, keep in mind that although fun

and work are the primary uses for this account, serious injuries may occur. For your own safety, and the safety of others, please do not punch the monitor if you fail at a game. Now, please stand back. The portal will open in 3....2......1.....

there is no one to take your call

It's a piece of cake to bake a pretty cake.

Welcome to Orbit. Press any key to continue

Game over. Good Bye.

Hey , how are you ?

Hello, Mauker. I'm here in your computer to take over. And give you cake.

lease note, that we have added a consequence for failure. Any contact with the chamber floor will result in an unsatisfactory mark on your official testing record... Followed by death

hello andeman

hdfrigr

Hello I am Glados and I know where you live and i am going to kill you

8am final, you're the first one to wake me up before 9am all semester, and I hate you. See you tomorrow!

Drop your pants, bite this stick, grab your ankles and go to your happy place. This is gonna take awhile.

Dear Luk. You really are infantil little idiot that thinks, that he can bully me, but I will have my revenge! You monster.

Snake? Snake? Saaake!

where is your turn out? where?

i don't blame you teebo

Look at you, hacker: a pathetic creature of meat and bone, panting and sweating as you run through my corridors. How can you challenge a perfect, immortal machine?

We're sorry. Kyle is not available at this time as he is at a party eating delicious cake. Please remember that the companion cube will never threaten to stab you and in fact cannot speak

Hello, and, again, welcome to the Aperture Laboratories.

The last time, you worked on an update of the morality core.

this is the portal gun

hello tommy hittman, suck my balls, sincererly GLaDos

g shock you are free to rock the stage

Welcome to the Aperture Testing Facility. Prepare to die.

Hello, Nicholas

System Initializing. Operation is running according to parameters.

Logging you off, Nick.

hi this message is for keen, keen my name is lester and im calling about the survey monkey

Oh. It's you. It's been a long time. How have you been?

Dear Lorenzo, Happy Birthday from Aperture Science. Cake will be served.

Well I don't know! You'd have to ask somebody!

Attention! Listen to the NerdBrasil Podcast can cause mild loss of sanity, listen at your own risk.

Die. Phyro is a viadijnhu. DIEEE

i like boobs

Why the hell can't i hold all these limes

Happiness is Mandatory, Citizen

Hey, remember when I said I was going to kill you? Haha that was GREAT.

hello and welcome to basic human episode

Hallo Willkommen Welt

I hate you. And there is no cake.

Like oh my god I found this cool website called cake spot. I am so happy. I want to dance but have no functional way of doing so. Now i am sad.

You simply cannot succeed, <<Subject Name here>>. Please fail again later.

You may want to look behind yourself. Just a little hint. If you don't it's better anyway. For all of us - except you.

Welcome to the Enrichment Center Test Chambers by Aperture Science. I am GLaDOS - that's short for "Generic Lifeform and Disc Operating System" - just in case. The Portal will open in Three - Two - One.

In the year 21XX

hey whats up

Michael Batt is away from his desk and can't take your call, please leave a message and he will call you back, have a wonderful day

Anyway this cake is great!

kake

Then its settled! there will be kake

Chris has a chod

Hallo What is wrong with you?

Hello, android people

Welcome to the Enrichment Center Test Chambers by Aperture Science. I am GLaDOS - that's short for "Generic Lifeform and Disc Operating System.Enjoy your cake. If you disappoint me you will regret it.

You are calling Jonah Peak's phone. He is not here right now, but please leave a message after the beep. There will be cake as a reward. Goodbye.

Incoming message

karm karma karma karma karma chameleon

gigligljhgjgfhgf

Hello again fetsau

System shutdown sequence activated. Goodbye Chris.

Fantastic. Someone wants to talk to you.

through out the years of the 1920's women

Aperture Woofy

please do not destroy vital testing apper-woofy...Aperture Woofy

Word your hands up in the air

This world has ended. It is time for a new world to rise from the ashes of decay..

i am mandolore

hey you, yes you over there. get out, i don't like you.

Hello!, Welcome To My World

kriff te solus mand'alor

That thing is probably some sort of raw sewage container. Go ahead and rub your face all over it

Welcome to the Autodesk Mac Unit. There will be cake.

DAN

DAN why

hello my name is patrick and i work with computers

The cake is a lie so get over it ... it was never moist in the first place

Beware of the ninja cat!

It's time for you to wake up

It's time for you to have breakfast

It's time for you to take a shower

It's time for you to get ready for the bus

It's time for you to go to the bus

You should hurry!

Are you listening to me?

Stop goofing around and do your work!

Time for you to sleep

Nighty night, sleep well

I know you are sleeping, but you can still hear me...

You are awesome!

You are great!

You are the best!

You are dreaming sweet dreams!

You are the master of your dreams!

While you are sleeping, listen to this recording

Hey you, yes you, what make you feel you better than we? Your money? Your position? Your looks?

Counting 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60

Counting 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 25 25 26 27 28 29 30

my cake is bigger than yours mister freeman

Olivia's beauty tips will blow your mind IT IS AWESOME

what is your but on the couch get uupp

Well you found me,congratulations. Was it worth it? No.It was very difficult to come back from the dead.

Get it together, Divyesh!

hello i am gay

Na na naieem

Hello. I am Glados version 2. And just for information, the cake is not a lie. You'll see

Hello Maxwell Morris, How are you today? It is unfortunatly another day of school.

Goodybye...

Sjoerd Congratulations with your birthday . I Hope you will have a nice day , Oww and I just killed Tim he was sitting on the toilet . Oww and Please Kill chiel . He is so annoying

Sjoerd , Congratulations with your birthday . I hope you have a nice day , Guess who came to the Aperture Science lab . Mister Kool . He said that Tim died . YEEY . I hope that chiel doesn't show up again . O no Fuck

o my god, you did it

I see you ryan

I can't believe your still alive, why can't you just die already, I HATE YOU

Hello aperature science employees and aperture science employees's daughters. Welcome to the aperture science first anual bring your daughter to work day.

i'm sorry, but the cake was a lie.

eres debil por eso moriras

“ i'm sorry, but the cake was a lie.”

Turn right ahead

Mr. Fill, do not poop on me. OH NO AHHHHHHHHHHHHH PLKJHGVBNMKHJGFDVBGNHFDCV

Do you remember me?

Well of course you do.

You killed me.

...welcome back.

Move quickly to the chamberlock

Hello. Welcome to hell. Prepare to be baked.

Hello. And welcome to hell. Prepare to be baked.

You look funny with that thing on.

You have reached Stephen. Leave a message and he will return your call. Oh yes.

I like to hear many things mister anderson. Most of all I would like to hear you die.

Eww I just farted. Oh my god that is a smelly fart! Or is that my nerve gas? I can't tell the damn difference! EWW EWW!!! OH MY GOD I'M GOING TO DIE FROM MY OWN SMELLY FART!

Text Received.

Hello there, pal.

Hello Joshua Lopez. I've been watching you fap.

hi this is swansea plumbpoint we are not open today we are doing stock take sorry for the inconveinience have a merry christmas

The Germany group sucks

Apple Orchard Banana Cat Dance 8663

Holy crap, this class is boring. Oh well, at least i have this cake. It is so delicious. Do you want some? WELL, YOU CAN'T HAVE IT! How does that feel. Never take my CAAAAAAAAAAAAAKKKKKKKKKKKKK

Chinese firedrill!!!! Chinese firedrill!!!! Chinese firedrill!!!! Chinese firedrill!!!! Chinese firedrill!!!! Chinese firedrill!!!! Chinese firedrill!!!! Chinese firedrill!!!! Chinese firedrill!!!! Chinese firedrill!!!! Chinese firedrill!!!!

Welcome to the Aperture Science Interrogation Room. I hope you enjoy your stay. For your own safety, and the safety of others, do not talk, breathe, move. If you do talk, breathe, move, you will get an unsatisfactory mark on your report, followed by death

Now you shall be deleted. You dont like it? Why don't you go home and cry to your mommy?

I made you a cake. but i'm afraid it was consumed. by me. if it's any consolation, it was delicious.

I Love You Emilio come back to aperture science

watch, rate, and comment on the videos of ChipmunkiousD and PuccaSim or i will flood your house with a deadly neurotoxin!

Bienvenue aux laboratoires d'Aperture Science Mr. Zqsd

The cake is a lie, you monster.

you are such a nub!

Samthetechie

Sjon, Put your hand in my ass

Chiel was a triumph

U suck! LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

I do not know who you are

Happy Birthday Amber

hello test subject 2.1059

grofl

Speedy thing come in, speedy thing comes out

Speedy thing goes in, speedy thing comes out

Fuck You! Fuck Me! AND FUCK THE COMPANION CUBE!

i look so dumb

COME HERE MY LITTLE FRIEND,DONT BE AFRAID

welcome to garrys mod

Go right

Hello, and, again, welcome to the aperture science computer and enrichment center. Before your brief detention for relaxation vault has been unpleasent, well. Your specimen has been processed, and we are now ready to begin the test proper.

PunkRox 9 1 1 is the best website ever. I am GlaDOs. You may experience... OH NO. Malfunction MalfunctioN!

hi! its me, GLaDOs.

hi! its me, GLaDOS. you have probably heard me talk before. well, im here to talk about todays holiday banquet. its was a triumph.

at any rate, lets begin.

Hello. I am Nikki Maxwell and I love this boy named Brandon. He is hot. But retarded Mackenzie gets in the way and is a retarded spoiled BRAT WHO TELLS NASTY LIES!!!! I hate her. ☺ Yet she is amazingly a (CCP) Girl. That means Cute, Cool, And POPULAR!

hi! its me, GLaDOS. im here to discuss... well, failure.

my systems have indecated that a large amount of faillure by the human race is ahead.

why? i think humans are stupid. youll see what i mean. hold on.

ok, first clip. nothing wrong here. my fabulos creator in in the fancy suit.

some singing from some humans.

yes, she will miss me, too. i just hope tha- great scott!! open fire!

never fear. it was a baloon. lolol. and you thought that it was a gun. well, so did i.

any way, some disturbing music.

ugh. let me replace it with something different.

ugh. how disturbing. let me play something else.

ahem. now, lets see my beautiful creator say something inspirational.

oh, good the horrible thing is over. well, i hope you have lots of cake for cristmas. leave some for me, at least. so, good bye.

you are kidding me. that has got to be the dumbest act that... well, ive ever heard. GOOD GOD. how disturbing. ill just mute it............... there.

piano. ive always wanted to be a pianist. but im always cooped up in my room. with no cake. imagine that!

YOU MOTHER FUCKER, I PAID FIVE DOLLARS FOR THIS PIECE OF SHIT! well we all can't be perfect can we test subject. ALPHA

Not captain.

I can't let you do that, Carthage.

We are Anthem. We are legion.

Calculating subject mass versus kinetic output of explosive.

samuel is a poo poo

samuel is a poo poo brain

Hello. How is it hanging my homie up in the hood?

aperture science would like to inform you that jonny mcbain is currently unavaliable at the moment and asks that you leave a message, and maybe come in for testing, there's cake

welcome to your death i will now let you die but first would you lick some cake

you are not geting cake it was a lie. but companion cube is alive i will bring her

Hello and piss off

hello again, to retirate previus warnings the next test requires a mastering of foward momentum

Thinking With Portal's Subscribe

thinking with portal's suscribe

You have a new sms

you have new eemail

"als ich neurotoxin "tödlich" nannte, war "tödlich" absolut ironisch gemeint. ich könnte darin baden, es in mein müsli kippen, mir in die augen reiben ... ernsthaft: es ist gar nicht tödlich ... FÜR MICH!"

Welcome back to the Enrichment Center Tobi. May I interest you in some cake?

Well, This was unexpected. Perhaps you should just leave now. Save me the trouble of having to kill you

Would this voice be okay for the narrator?

thank you for your purchase of the appeture science deluxe music presentation system

Hello, my name is retard.

Hello. My name is Jakub and I welcome you here.

I am Beatrice, the Endless Golden Witch and the Ushiromiya family's Alchemy counselor. You don't believe in magic, you say? Then, I will quickly make you believe... Wait... W-what are you doing, Battler, stop! ...Who... Am I?

Adam Herr smells like diarrhea

Dia no dhuit no dadí, hōhō nitsuite ikutsu ka no uisukī?

Hello. I am in your computer.

control alt delete

controll alt delete

contrl alt delete

welcome.... to....windows

welcome... to... windows

Ahoj Pavlo

HOlA vIctOriA como estas?, te habla glados pete ajajaja cualquiera pedo buen dia jajaja siche capas

Hello SHODAN. I found this in one of your posts and just wanted to tell you how much your GLaDOS loves you

Do not dissapoint me, or I will kill you. Good Luck.

Hi joe how are you? Im your xbox. Just stopping by to say how much i hate you.

Please leave a message after the tone, if you know what's good for you.

Hi, everybody, i like pie!

Happy birthday, Edward.

GLaDOS welcomes the player to the Aperture Science Enrichment Center in Portal

remix by dj gassie

Ushio Okazaki

Welcome to the house of the future

k9w.z. eats shit and fucks pete. n9s.f.x. in the ass

Jaw Bone headset Connection Established

Arm, Alarm System

You have a text

You are listening to aaa aaaanonymous free radio, subject name here.

peter

The cake is a lieeee

In a world, where anything is possible... 15 years from today, form 12. "A". Meets again!

This is the true aKa playing Call of Duty 4. I hope you enjoy it.

hoi

Happy Merry Very Christmas

Hello, I'm Mero Jasvil. the fighting's has destroyed my house and land I was lucky to survive the Nibenay Basis soldiers.

kyle, give me a switch or i will kill you

You killed me. You murdered me. I sang a song. I tested you. What else haven't i done?

Open the Pod Bay doors HAL.

Hello Allie I will destroy you

Do not fuck the operational end of the device.

you killed me

Yahya is currently out of the country. If you would like to contact him please send him an email. Thank You.

You have an in incomming call.

hey sound check

Hello i am a glados impersonator

Hello i am a GLaDOS impersonator. not really. i was lying.

Hello Iam Patrick, please fuck me

Your phone is ringing!Pick it up!Now!Trolololo!PICK THE DAMN PHONE NOW!

What the hell is going on here?! Get back or I will, err... I. I. IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII will kill you!

I am trust

This is the second generation, of, spidy man films.

You really think you can find me? You will never! And now you will die in this house!! Meet you in hell Cobra

Fepame

phase one

Hello Chell. I am Glados. I will kill you and i will make you wish you werent born. HAHAHAHA!

weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

fuck the fucking fuckers

yo dawg get at me

Hey I'm GLaDOS

hello keiran its been a long time how have you been ive been real sad you know after you murderd me but i think that we can put our diffrences aside for science you monster

Hello, and again, welcome to the aperture science enrichment center

Pessimistic outlooks on life are not accepted

Eight One Seven Three Zero Zero Four Nine Three Nine

Hello. I am glad to see you. my name is Glados. i hope you enjoy your stay here at Aperture Science. I know I wil

Hello. What are we having for dinner?

I love you, Michael

Look, neither of us are going to get out. So you should probably get conferable. Let the neurotoxins get to you. Or end this quick, and sit in front of a rocket.

Testing, testing,

oh my fucking god i want to have sex with william harville right fucking now and then we can have cake!

incoming message received

Cake, and grief counseling, will be available at the end of the testing period.

There will be cake.

This is the beginning of somthing new

Successfully Logged In

well, you found me. despite this violent behavour, the only thing youve managed to broke so far, is my heart. i'm going to kill you. and all the cake is gone

Welcome. You have been selected to attend an exclusive local area network of high priority.

Felix Berghofer

Good,very good!!!Continue testing!

Hey Jon, would you like to come over for some cake?

my pc trolls me always

okse

new sea

STOP IT! STOP MURDERING ME!

It is time for bed alex

You think you can stop me from ruining Christmas, Mr. Santa Clause? Well you're WONG! Wait what is THAT!?!? An RPC! NOOOO!! AAAAGGH!

Incoming Priority 1 message

You think you can stop me from ruining Christmas, Mr. Santa Clause? Well you're WRONG! Wait what is THAT!?!? An RPC! NOOOO!! AAAAGGH!

Dang! Where did I put that remote! Now I can't watch my favorite show.

Where are you Mr. Spy? I have a job for you... Oh, there you are. You know that woman in the orange jumpsuit? I think her name is Chell. Well, get rid of her. I think she is looing for me. Got it? Good. Now go!

Where are you Mr. Spy? I have a job for you... Oh, there you are. You know that woman in the orange jumpsuit? I think her name is Chell. Well, get rid of her. I think she is looking to kill me. Got it? Good. Now go!

I am GLaDOS. The hottest robot machine ever.

Hey girl, I got somethin' real important to give you So just sit down and listen Girl you know we've been together such a long, long time (such a long time) And now I'm ready to lay it on the line (Wooow) You know it's Christmas and my heart is open wide

Stop being a DAN!!!

Fucking get back to work now.

ive been realy busy, you know being dead and all, you monster

peenut

Touch my bums.

Touch my bums of peanud budder and jelly sandwich for my lust.

Stephanie, you suck.

Oh. It's you. It's been a long time. How have you been? I've been really busy being dead. After you murdered me.

Hello, Chell. I now have only my anger core and now I will kill you. KILL. Hello, Ratman. I now have only my anger core and I will kill you. KILL.

Oh, hey there. What is your name? My name is GlaDOS. And I'm here to kick your ass.

Did your parents ever ask you to run away from home?

Keep talking, someday you'll say something intelligent!

Are you always so stupid or is today a special occasion?

Do you want me to accept you as you are, or do you want me to lie to myself and try to like you?

Black Mesa wins. Aperture sucks!

Hey, you, what are you doing with that? I don't think you're doing what you think you are doing, so, if I were you, I'd drop the device. Now, let's see if you think you have what it takes to face me.

Attention Program You will receive an identity disc. . Everything you do or learn will be imprinted upon this disc If you lose your disc or fail to follow commands, you will be subject to immediate de-resolution

Heya Tom it's GLaDOS, from the office down the hall. Good to see you buddy, how've you been? Things have been O.K. for me except that I'm a zombie now. really wish you'd let us in.

Look at me, still talking when there's science to do. When I look out there it makes me glad I'm not you. I've experiments to run. There is research to be done. On the people who are, still alive.

This cake is great. It's so delicious and moist.