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MessageDownloadDate addedDate processed
Move away now, i demand it
Download05/11/201307/18/2013
this is a triumph. I am making a note here, huge success
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In approximately thirty seconds, the cake wil hurtle toward your face.
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Sorry this number is no longer avaible!
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waht is going on man
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we got a problem
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you deserve
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you deserve it
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hello there how are you doing avoid the gas
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its your birthday
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it's your birthday
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im proud of you
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im proud
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i am proud
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i am tuneboyw
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die fawckers it's mars again
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DJ MOWNO
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test: bonjour je suis GLaDOS
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Well Bang you too.
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Nanananana BATMAN!
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im gunna Drop this bass
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hello im GlaDos
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im GlaDos hello mortal
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David is gay
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Hello there my friend how are you? i like you! And i hate wheatly but i am fine!
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all systems online
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I'm GLaD that you die
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The change of bas formula is next on the list
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Hello, Gavin. Let us do some tests. Then you can have cake.
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Hello my Love Bruna
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LOL You siuck
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Yes, this is GLaDOS
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Hello, Lioncure.
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System Message Received. Network Mail Received. Notification waiting to be processed.
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I'm going to make waffles and then have a glass of your blood
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I hat you Goddard
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tragic consequences
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Dd
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Dj Don Juan
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i like sucking
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hi Ari, your fired
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your fired
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fired
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us
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my sensors indicate that you are indeed a weenie
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its been a long, long, time.
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You Are Listening String Radio.com
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You are a missive poo
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I think there is a problem with my system
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YAY! the mooch is gone
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I'm just a dream
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its been a looooooooooooooooooooooong time hpw have you been nick
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Loading Operating System. Please Stand by and prepare to die
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Being alive is a privilege, Never say it isn't.
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Hi Eric. Its Yvonne here.
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How sad
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Hi Eric. It's Yvonne Here.
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Hello Jessica Martinez, I hear you are writing a recommendation e-mail for somebody. You have fun with that. Please do not kill me though, i wont appreciate, I will have to send some Neurotoxin to your door.
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My name is Alas Newbe, nothing strange as happin in my life
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What the hell!
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Hello, Rudy how can I help you today?
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Fak America.
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Hello jonny... it's been a long time. It seems that you are somewhat... different than others.
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It`s been a long time
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screw my balls asshole
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you are peter griffin xd
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peter griffin
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DAMN
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bull shit
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ass ass ass
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no!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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im a lesbian
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You have broken an appointment with Matt and he is sad
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aw gay
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im lesbian
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yellow car!!
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niggers are deadly
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black ops 2
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spaceeeeeeeeee
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putooo
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im playing uncharted 3 dumbass
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nicko
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you think i using a soundboard
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puta madre
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bicho
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mamabicho
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this is sparta!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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dieeeeeeee
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pay for sex
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uncharted
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yaya relos 1131
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fghftvuygihuh
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you like popcikles
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kiss my boobs
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gagagagagagagagala
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bo2
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sorry i just farted
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i had sex with your mother last night
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weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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team deatmatch
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ak 47
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puerto rico
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marica
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portal two
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some people think making a baby is just like
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WHY DO WOMENS HAVE BOOBS
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herbert the pervet
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free for all
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disney xd
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soccerox hi
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kiss my ass!
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u mad umad u mad u mad u mad u mad u mad
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every day in shopolis
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playstation three in lobby
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1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 surprise
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kelymar
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welcome to the end ovi
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Welcome to Minerva's Labyrinth
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Anja and Stefan are unavailable! Please leave a message at the tone
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Nigga Nigga Nigga
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Ho ass Nigga
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ydf ihpuifhfpiuvfhp
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eqfvhvf'c
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Welcome to the LHS podcast I am GLaDOs today we are going to introduce a new group here in the Lebanon High School. I have with me Vladimir Burnin a member of a new group officially called the Lebanon High School Technical Club.
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hi my name is slippery steven.
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oijoijoij
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Hallo, mein Name ist Robotor
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Saviez-vous que la Terre n'est pas exactement ronde ? En fait, elle a l'apparence d'une patate. Oui, une patate. Une patate, comme moi...
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Je vous deteste
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hello b
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Hello To Portal Prelude
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whats that?
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i hate cakes all the cakes are a lie
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hello lordzombie and welcom to the aperture science laborietories,your partner is alexander34 start now,or i kill you
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Hello, I will defeat you. Fight me.
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Fark Marley
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let me lick you up and down till you say stop
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Sara im going to kill you and feast on your flesh, while i smear your blood all over my face.
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Hi Cam
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bonjour je m appelle alexandre
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You are pussy ! olny pussy
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Cameron Sucks
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oh hi my name is GLaDOS and you are Sam... Just another test subject
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oh hi my name is GLaDOS and you are Sam... Just another test subject.Oh good you found the dual portal gun
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Hello class
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Why not just eat cake?
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oh hi my name is GLaDOS
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Welcome to the home of the Yamada family
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You have a text message. Please acknowledge it. Or are your fat little fingers unable to utilise the buttons on your cell phone?
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You have a text message. Please acknowledge it.
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What in the world is your face?
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you need to rest
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alistair go to your room
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hola que hace
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we must talk we need to find a hotel near you, of a bed-n-breakfast (with eating breakfast with you guys... I dont think Tim in the garage would be ok for Him, or Sybille
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The Game has Changed
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why would someone like you say a thing like that
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If you were actually smart you would hit the button
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What can I do for you sir ?
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Starships were ment to fly
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sdfjl
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hola angel
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Hi Sing Hing!
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it's good for your soul
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I will hit you in the face, again, again, again, and again. When you want me to stop, I will not, shall not, and can't. Because I will be too busy hitting you.
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Your phone is ringing. Take the call. It is very safe. It won't hurt you. I got a message for you. Why don't you read it. Look at me.
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Hello their John I have been expecting you for a long time now and I would like you to stick that bundle of bananas up my mother board you sexy beast you
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werwerwerwerwerwerwer
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d gegen p
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Why?... why me?
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Hi. My name is Allen at your service.
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bonjour monsieur, comment allez vous?
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witam hejo
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I love Ponies, and if they have socks, i will love them even more.
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I have accessed your personal files and it says here that you have a wonderfully unique personality that can only be rivaled by the openness of your heart. I crossed all that off and put murderer. You know. Cause you killed me.
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Hello My name is Anano
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What do you want for me this time ?
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hello. i am glad you woke up. we have lots of work to do. yes. you will need the gun. pick it up. and make a portal.
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hello my friend Gianluca, I am here to answer your question. Now die.
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screw you fool
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adw
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hey day
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ya estamos otra vez
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chippy is a fat cow
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Jonathan harris
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cccccccccccaaaaaaaaaaaaaakkkkkkkkkkkkkeeeeeeeeee
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hello im fat
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hello i am going to bring you the typical brony reaction to the new movie My little pony equestria girls : NO WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS THIS DOES NOT FOLLOW MY DEMANDS FOR A SHOW MADE FOR 4 YEAR OLD GIRLS i am angry even though i am a 40 year old man in hi
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Hallo, willkommen im Aperture Science Enrichment Center.
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Stoner Talk
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Your name is now Propaganda.
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I'm very sure that if Math courses keep getting harder and harder, their students might eventually become more like me; a emotionless merciless machine. Keep it up Math teachers. I need more assistants.
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Hi my name is Maya, I love cheese!
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Hello. I am GLaDoS from portal. You might know me and I am I in love with Chell.
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now one the mix with dj eric
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Welcome to the aperture science portable testing program.
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Hi Guy'z I'm Ender Films
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Please come to your senses
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Hi Guys I'm Ender Films
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oh know,where did you do?
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Shadow Is the best person in the world
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hola satanga
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Pablo is calling
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Hello Anon, You Jealous?
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hello carter
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the eagle has landed
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Deberias Morir
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hello anomaly
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In a world where wine is on a table
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hi i am
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Psychotic Music
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Calvin sucks.
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This is awsome
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Colleen is a weenie
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Hi Isaac. Please proceed to the test chamber
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Hi fin, you like playing garrys mod and you are playing it right now
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i lick your mother kiplis
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Hello my name is Tommy
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hello kid
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Hello this is alexis' welch's aunt calling in to confirm her absence
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Malcolm X was a black-supremasist leader and Nation of Islam member during the American Civil Right's movement.
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Hello, my name is Allan. Please fight the urge to dance and enjoy the show.
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The portal gun device is now complete. Please proceed to donations and new testings of the final device. Thanks for helping the science. Aperture science product copyright
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Ola, eu sou GLaDOS, sou um robo terrivel, pior que a Bertilla, e voce sera morto lentamente por neurotoxina.
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Who are you? You are not Chell...
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Hi there, Alejandra. That's how you pronounce it? Never mind, seems like your brother put me in your computer. I am GLaDOS. G-L-A-D-O-S. I hope I can be of assistance
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I wanna have sex with you.
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hello i am glados im a robot of the future and a super computer and i want to experiment whit humans i work on aperture science and im dangerous run now now run is a joke hahahahahaha switching off iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii off
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welcome to aperture science my name is glados
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Hello, I am the Aperture Science Enrichment Centre Monitor, also the inventor of the Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device
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Oh I am gonna whip somebodies ass
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rey you suck
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Hi David, it's time to put your triathlon Ha Ha Ha
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GLaDOS Activated. oh Hello... Scott. how are you doing
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Hello, Scott.
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Missiles Armed
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Missiles Armed, Weapon Systems Online Incoming Threat
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Helping
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You had my curiosity. But now, you have my attention
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Then add this voice to the system
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I am not putting up with this.
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Douglass rocks
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Hello, and welcome to the Aperture Science Plumbing Incinerator. We shall now burn your trash and other stuff.
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i want to lick you
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Where my niggas at?
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hello and again welcome to the apature science
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JDSALFA
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I would like to donate money to all my friends that i dont love
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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
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You smell kind of funny today
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Kiss my not so shiny metal ass
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lhe enviou um presente
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Oh, it's you. Welcome back to Power Shift, if you know your party's extenion, you may enter it whenever you'd like
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welcome to test 45 the done turrets blue is lime shott blood detect aperture sience once still alive
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TACOS!!!!
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this is a triumo
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You Have New Personal Mail
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hello I hate you very much!
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I Miss being a potato. can you please help me turn back to a potato? YOU FREAKING LOSER.
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YOU HAVE
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Hello. Please leave a message after the tone.
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Paura is a bamf.
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Does this really take that long to generate? This would be a sick application.
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ite owners are often frustrated by difficulty of controlling their online presence. They spend huge amounts of money designing beautiful and clever websites, only to be left scratching their heads wondering why their traffic remains woefully low! Wouldn
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Hi Andrew. I is Alex.
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Good day, I see you have settled into your new home well. That's too bad, considering I am about to flood you out.
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Do you feel it now, Mr.krabs?
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I pick my tree carefully. A willow, not terribly tall but set in a clump of other willows, offering concealment in those long, flowing tresses. I climb up, sticking to the stronger branches close to the trunk, and find a sturdy fork for my bed. Now, when
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Keeping It Reel
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There is an emergency nearby but you will probably fail anyway
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Ultimecei, i will kill you!
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Thorium
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thanks for watchin
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thanks for watching bye
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Yummy
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experiencing together
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Hello, and welcome to the center of enrichment.
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Well, someone said that I'll die here, but I'm still alive.
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initiating operation gypsy danger
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Ooo. It's You. It's been a long time, so start testing. You monster!
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mix by dj priyanka
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Hi, Jose
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Hello Quentin
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Hey how are ya Little teemo?U are name is Aleksa Isnt it ?
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alalala
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alala
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alalalalalalalaaaaaa
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I am going to eat K F C
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Mad is an idiot
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holA gabriel como estas, intentalo no podras ganar
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here we are again its always suck a pleasure rember whaen you tryed to kill me twice
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hello, matt
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aaron tubb
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this is what u want ,this is what u got welcome to the purple explosin parti
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welcome to aperture science, Falme. We do what we must, because we can.
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Oh your poor
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Silverbow studios
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Hello everybody, welcome to this awesome test!
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ruse arts are back in business
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hello losers...
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fap
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Hello There Cassiae
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Suck it Trebek.
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Press F1 to show the controls to move the green square. Press F9 to take a screenshot. Press the arrow keys to move. Press Escape to exit the game. And press R to reset the game... if you don't have energy. And another key not mentioned there just kills.
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oh hello my name is GLaDOS which stands for Genetic Lifeform and Disc Operating System
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hi Felix i'm happy you're alive put the portal device on the floor and be happy the cake not is a lie
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oh hi is that you
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Privet, ya GLadOS
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We thank you for continued support. We must close soon, please join us tomorrow. Sleeping here is not an option. Good Bye!
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hello zeerobot how are you stupid mute.
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"Well, you found me. Congratulations. Was it worth it?" I'm Ellen McLain, actress and opera singer. I voice GLaDOS from the Portal video game series and Jaeger A.I. in the upcoming movie Pacific Rim. I also play the Fairy Godmother of Wish It Inc. Proof:
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Jamie please I will do anything for you
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GUYS! THAT'S INAPPROPRIATE!
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this is my text
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this voice is amazing
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Life is like a song
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Why are you depressed?
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I'm sorry, dave, I cant do that
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You know, I wish I never met you, No. I wish you were dead, gone for ever, nothing.
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This doesn't even sound like GLaDOS and I have to wait 9 MONTHS FOR IT? I could have a baby in that time! Jesus.
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I must confess that I love you! But iI cant. You see my problem is that i cant say what i feel. Everyday wishing that you love me too.
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Hello Neo.
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I am entering a message just to make you booty goblins wait even longer
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Hello This is GLaDOS, i am an automated voice mail for Ian Please Leave message
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I can't say I'm surprised
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Support our kick starter at winning dad dot com
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Hello, I'm GlaDOS.
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WHAT'S YOUR URL
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Yo, you know what I want? I want the beat to drop right..now niggas be thinkin' I'm crazy right? you are crazy.. I ain't crazy... you are crazy.... at least I don't think I'm crazy I think my shit is hot, I think I'm hot you hot but you crazy.. why they w
Download05/17/201307/18/2013
How you still alive?
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Thank God you're alright
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I would like to invite you to a feast that could be filled with action and thrill!
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i remember i remember, caroline
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Eliminate specified enemy
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Hey Blacky
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Hello poopsy
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Will you come check out my Bake Sale in FarmVille 2?
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Hello Adam Smith, and welcome to aperture science computer-aided enrichment center
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new facebook message
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apple fritters are yummy, and so is cake. by the way, do you know where the companion cube is. i'm DYING to tell him the recipe of the cake, given the fact i'm already dead and thanks for that. did you know tha birds are evil. STILL ALIVE... SPAAAAACEEEEE
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i was waiting for you
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Lol, They failed
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hi biatch
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E. M. P.
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Ladous is the best!
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welcome to my server.
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I like to go bananas. I also would like to be a potato. You are stupid aren't you?
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Twinkle, twinkle, little star, How I wonder what you are. Up above the world so high, Like a diamond in the sky. When the blazing sun is gone, When the nothing shines upon, Then you show your little light, Twinkle, twinkle, all the night. Then i pooped.
Download05/17/201307/18/2013
Hello friend !
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Why hello there, i see you want to get the Portal gun?
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Do you know who murders people who are only trying to help them?...did you guess sharks because that's wrong, the correct answer is no one..no one but you is that pointless cruel.
Download05/17/201307/18/2013
HEEEEEEEY!
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asdfadsfas
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Hi there, Did i tell you the deffinition of insanity?
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The cake is a lie and you know that, right? yes i know you do. BECAUSE YOU GOT NO CAKE
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Felipe,im ready for your tests and your can download all,but,your are ready for the test?
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cyrus, your battery is low
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Please die now
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my sensors indicate that you are, indeed, a weenie
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THE LOST BROS
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My name is GlaDos
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So how was it created?
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my name is rafael
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Hi, Adrian. Welcome to Aperture Science
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I am waiting for you.
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I'm going to kill you and eat your heart.
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hello and how are you doing
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hello dyan i will eat your soul and nom nom on your heart, see you soon
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testing text to make it sound like a robot
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Got it
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CONGRATS TEST SUBJECT 20128748378383 ON YOUR B-DAY
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Welcome To Anomaly one point two
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Andres you must follow the bro code
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Why do you wacth things like that instead of eating cake?And donationg to sceince?
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Oh, It's you again
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i would like suck my bannana
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niggers must die
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The social interaction protocol tells me that, no matter how much you dislike a person, it still deserves to be congratulated on his birthday. So that's what I'm doing now, happy birthday
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suck it mishkin son of a 007 odergam ghan apoolo
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die you impudent worm
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you are a failure
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Welcome to Assland
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ssssssssssss
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NU!
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One day i will eat your charming babies with my sharp metal teeth
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I'm afraid I can't do that
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Hi, my name is glados
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MUHAHAHHA
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apocalypse
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Hey how are you doing
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Hello, Edward
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fggd
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If you are not willing to wait that long, please do not submit
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I love this mother
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lolon
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Hello Faw
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Greetings Fawful, I hope you enjoy your slow death.
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Hello Elsa glad to meet you
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Oh hi. So, how are you holding up... because I'm a potatoe!
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Justin "Bro Tank" Anderson. Engaged to Colleen Something or another. Graduate from Spokane, Washington with a Business Degree. How worthless.
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Holla holla get dolla.
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Hi Samuel, you are a good boy!
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hello cai how are you feeling today i hope your fine
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hello bobboboboboboboboboboboobobob
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Hi, I am some guy.
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jason
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Happy Valentines Day, Mr. Johnson.
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very exclusive dot com
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Are you kiding me
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i am ironwoman
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i am ironman
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need a dispenser here
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i play a game
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gladosjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj gladosjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj gladosjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj
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hello how can i be of service to you-
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Oh.. Hello there.. It's been quite the long time, hasn't it..?
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hello, my name is jarvis. the female artificial intelligence
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Hello Shell.
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rorschach
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Hello? Club Penguin?
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Why do you toture yourself Kevin? Come to Mama and we'll get throught his endless nightmare, we'll KILL everyone.
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no vales para nada
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you sucks jajajajajajajajajajaja
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Tech pidaras delete dota 2 please
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Well here it is. I'm Going to kill you Chell. Why do I hate you so much
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Hello Kyle Ritchey and welcome to Aperture Science
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I like pie!
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Morgan
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porcodio
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I was reading it in GLaDOS' voice.
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tripple kill!
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I am silly
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Hello there Alex
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A fase dois foi iniciada
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Glados Dam, What the, Rip Off by Bill Gates...
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This is Glados real cheap...
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Hello,Patrick
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hello,i'm glados,i kill you.
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This an audio of Love Again By Yuna-Nuna. Voiced by a computer generated voice.
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Get more subs than Kayla, then we will talk.
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shut your pie hole
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I am sorry but it appears we have encountered an error with the page you requested.
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9 months??? Are you kidding me???
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iehurwe87rg8rgyubgtyut
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hello, and welcome to the enrichment center of aperture science
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Die jerk.
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Funziona
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Sie bewegen sich noch, aber glauben sie mir sie sind tot
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you're listening to dj fly k
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take the high road you'll have a better view the ones below will regret what they've pursued live your life like it's the only one you get haven't all the new age hipsters taught you that yet
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glen is an idiot
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Stand back. The potato will open in three, two, one. [Bzzzt]
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Hi gavin
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Hello I hate you very much
Download05/18/201307/18/2013
y0y0y0 what is up! Worlds best minecraft player taco! I mean WiZARD! With the 1.5.2 hacked client 'Huzuni'! As always with the minecraft clients there is a download link in the discription, so if you feel like a BAWS head on over to "wizardhax com" and do
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oh its you
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adsafuhoiubohiweurthlaiuh
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welcome back to zeadcorp !
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Menna on the beat
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Buttts
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Welcome to GCinema, I am GLaDOS an automated system put in place to make sure you go to the right places. The theaters are up ahead, go ahead and try them out. If you need any help, contact a staff member.
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Jake Krolak
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go fudge yourself
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stupid freaking roleykatsu go eat your cereal
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Hello student, I see you opened a virus! well, today is your lucky day. Your computer will now crash.
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Hello, it's good to see you again Andrew
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Hallo was geht ab
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Helo sir, Welcome back
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hello im so cool
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Welcome to your first test subject you may need a gravity gun or a portal gun
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Welcome to the Internet, Jonathan Stewart.
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Jacky will kill you, Yes she will. Stop questioning me you moron. Yes, you're a moron. I already fixed it, and you are not coming back?
Download05/19/201307/18/2013
Hey you should do a show where you don't do stufff but just talk and talk and talk you know. It would be really effin fun
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Hallo Timon
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po pi po po pi po
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When you fall, you get right back up.
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What does GLaDOS sound like
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WHAT THE
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MALDITA BICICLETA
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I've learned many valuable lessons about humanity. As thus, I shall change my ways for the better. I would rather be a friend than an enemy.
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I am a penguin.
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I am a fat penguin.
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awesrdtfgyijokpoijhugyftrdes
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YOU MORON
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What is the name of the closest pizza outlet
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Hi, so I see you're playing a Valve game...good to know
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Alright, so apperantly school's coming and there's limited time left. If I were you I would prepare, since the next upcoming grade is looking pretty....good.
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Thank you. Good buy.
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Profile set
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hello, welcome to thje aperture science light's pc
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I am no one.
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You are going to sing and like it, leea
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Psssssssssssh that is too easy
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Flying What compelled her to look towards the sky? Was it the few seconds of bliss The motionless motion which has intruiged all of us The feeling of fear, relaxation, joy, and sorrow. Falling When all the bliss and joy of the air has disappeared, The kno
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hi my name is fredrik
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Thyu
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3qgegw
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My name is Envy.
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Va bien te faire mettre
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