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MessageDownloadDate addedDate processed
hi i'm glados. i'm coming from coolpeen
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this is a test!!!!!!
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While it has been a faithful companion, your Companion Cube cannot accompany you through the rest of the test. If it could talk - and the Enrichment Center takes this opportunity to remind you that it cannot - it would tell you to go on without it because
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today's word is entice, when you get someone to do something by making it seem appealing
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fu-ck off nig-ger
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But Jenny, who's going to watch the kids?
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Super Mario
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Oh, no. Not you again.
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Oh! It's you; how you can came after what you did me? However, you can''t escape this time, Zabieru, because i'm more powerfull and i will destroy you this time, so get ready!
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adasdsad
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cakebomb1736 you are awesome
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Hey Darnell I've missed you bunches
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30 Hour Famine
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Hello. We're sorry to inform you that test subject "Blake Laymon" is unable to answer your call. And he's adopted. So that's funny too. If you leave a meesage, we promise to deliver it to him at the conclusion of testing.
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oieeee
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We Are Killer Masquerade
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Hello, my name is GladOs
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I am GlaDOS how mutch you like me?
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Caroline who are you
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Hello there my friend how are you
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hello steve, you suck at dark souls
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I'm a Ninja
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CN#@VIOLATION
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Gabe is a massive troll face
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Gabe poo
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Bladder
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Carson. Please get out or I might have to fry in the magma chamber
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Back when I was a little girl in France
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dfthfdhdrhy
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derpderp
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IMA FACKING AWESOME GUYS LOL Y U NO NOT THINK THAT I AM COOL U ARE NOT AWESOME LOLOLOLOL
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striped cloud studios
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Sup. I'm GlaDOS. You are mij next test subject
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peepee
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well hello there, i can se that you are having a good time. well, what wuld you say if i had just instaled a vhigwr8gwghwg. sorry about that.
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I know you are stupid,but please don't kill yourself.
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Greetings, i am here for you, oh wait, i'm not
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WHAT THE FUUUUCK
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Hello, Jacqueline. I have deleted you. Good bye.
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hello i am a robotic voice inside your head
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hello idiot, kiss my ass
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Hello John Smith, you are going to die! :) Test incoming!!!!
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Welcome, Test SUbject
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i play dota 2
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good work
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Cali
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This is how you charge it
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succhiami il pene
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Dudeee
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rrsoul
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Hissan
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KEbab
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shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit
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you will dead
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I really hate you, Jacob.
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sdfghjkmn zsderftgyhjm nxsdrfghjm ncxdfghnjm,.
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Hello Dalton
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I really hate horses that jump on the bed while i should go to sleep.
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Hello, there, Brandi
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I will kill you as you sleep.
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I want to kill
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The space core isn't going to space!
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eu estou feliz
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hello emma, my name is ellen mclain and welcome to the aperture science testing facility
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oh i see sparx i guess you dont need that medical attention
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Hi I am GLaDOS form Portal 2
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Your accents stink
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hi i like cheese please dont die in this next test thank you
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Eat my potato.
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Hello, and welcome to the Aperature Science Computerized Enrichment Center.
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This is gladoses voice
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Please do not throw the testing equipment.
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I have just received an SMS addressed to your SIM card... For what reason, I cannot begin to comprehend.
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There is a voice call coming in... Why you would even want to accept it, I have no idea... Take it or ignore it... I don't care either way...
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Hello, and welcome to Dota 2.
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Hello, it is time for you to wake up... You requested me to rouse you from sleep... Why do you even need to sleep??? Get up now... You look stupid down there...
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I have scanned an unidentified entity attempting to reach your phone... Do yourself a favor, and just turn off your phone... You are not going to like the end result anyway...
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i warned you about stairs
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bring abby to the cave
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Hello Ugly Chatroulette person
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Please note that the aperture test facility is no longer available. Instead, we put on a giant mountain of salt. Can't wait. So salty.
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Hekllllo
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Bee boop bloop we're screwed.
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My roflcopter goes soi soy soi soy soi soy soi soy soi soy soi
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My roflcopter also goes swah swah swah swah swah swah swah swah swah swah swah
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For Science.You monster
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you are sooooooo dead you hot seb
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you are so dead
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hey kyle guess what? you suck. you arent worth my time. my name is glados and im in your iphone. thats right..... i hacked your precious phone
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The floor here will kill you.
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Why b nasty
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Hello, [Subject name here], i don't have many things to tell you, so just search anything.
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Cara bel, cara mia bella! Mia bambina, oh ciel
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wubadubdub
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emergency emergency Earthquake Early Warnings
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emergency ,emergency , Earthquake Early Warnings
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Hello there. I am Glados. Your new instructor. Why? I have to. If I didn't I would die. So. For this test the solution is. System Malfunction
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Chillax FM dot NL
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Hello Liam Gresswell you are so awesome
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Error Parsing Config File
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Hello Please Like Comment And Subscribe to LegionDairyGaming Thankyou
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FOLDED WITH PRECISION AND ADVANCED ENGINEERING AND DELIVERED TO YOUR DOORSTEP AS A MESSAGE OF INNATE ROBOTIC SUPERIORITY I MEAN LOVE
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i am a bot whit a adorable face ready to shoot you in your place
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hi this is a message
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Hi Mika, whats up? Just having a snack here.
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hola ivan berru o wolf
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I will be buying all keys
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I think this new text message is mocking me.
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This new text message doesn't love you as much as I do.
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YO! what's up doc?
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Hello Dylan, I am Glados.
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okey right now you run
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Two roads diverged in a yellow wood and sorry I could not travel both and be one traveler long I stood and looked down one as far as I could to where it bent in the undergrowth then took the other just as fair because it was grassy and wanted wear
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This is GLaDOS not Sparta
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sony vegas pro
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scooby doo
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shaggy
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Hello and Welcome to How to make Patrick hates this channel
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hello hello testing testing
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metroid maaaan
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metroid man
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hello metroid man welcome to flipnote hatena
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Metroid Nintendo Lovers Channelopened and ready to be subscribed
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Metroid Nintendo Lovers channel opened and ready to be subscribed to
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I work for Alex
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raping time
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You are an idiot and an ass, so die in hell kiryaz pederas
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punch
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kick
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ha ha ha ha ha
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hello, fgdbiuwqrhgpoi2lreg
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i have a potate
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Bonjour, Paul !
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hello, alex. ready for testing?
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hello federation, petty fools, just..... GIVE UP., I really mean it... GIVE UP.
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GIVE UP
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sorry about the mess
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Now, I only want you gone.
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iofsanohh
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hi i like poop
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je vais te tuer
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Hallo Markus querstrich Azerelune. Hast du mich vermisst?
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HELLO AGAIN
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this sentance is sebastian.
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Enter command
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dddddd
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You where not smart.
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Now, I only want you gone
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Apple butter.
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my name is sam fahle and i like to poop while standing up
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Wake Up Subject 15. It's School time. Go Have Some Breakfast
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MOOO
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yes yes yes
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I think you are stupid.
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Dat crunch
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How Lewd
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A message has been processed
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Stephanie I love you
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Don't believe in me, believe in yourself.
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Hello, Subject name here,
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Hello Bennett. This is Glados
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I will kill you ! Ceng Haoran
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Hello, LTGGUN, i'm glados
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What's but an long tami
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Epic Epic Melt Down I Am calling my lawyer, I see you and you see me. FAK Off FAK Off...
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Epic Epic Melt Down I Am calling my lawyer, I see you and you see me.
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i want you to take take that fuking lemon on your table, and squeeze the juice into my wound that you just inflicted with that belt. Fuk the lemon, just hit me harder, im your bich and i want you to just completely dominate me, im ready. I am ready for th
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Thank you for listening, good bye
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We will be expecting some problems.
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Hello, i'm Zhellroy, the zhellroy ! Welcome to my youtube chanel !
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Booting the Linux kernel
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U.S.B device detected
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USB device detected.
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I'm so glad to hear you again
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Robblegum, I believe your IQ is as high as the lowest insect on this planet. This does make me a little bit sad, but does only make experiments alot more interesting.
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9 months, 29 days, 16 hours, 30 minutes ago I sent this message to you. :). I love you Fiah, keep on steaming on and good luck in 8th grade! Oh and also if you fail a subject then you will sound like this in the future
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J'aime le caca
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Just stfu and lear to play!
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jesus loves me he loves me a bunch because he always puts skipy in my lunch
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Kim Hwa Jung
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Oh Hi.
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hellp wold
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Uganda
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i will find you connor. prepare foe the neurotoxin!
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hi mr. daniel... you know what? i hate you! i gonna make you space core... miaw
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joj
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i am a glad and my name is dos. i can say minecraft. and i hate you so much sooooooooooooooo much.
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wawawawa wow wow. portal 3?
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The following movie is a production of riders with adrenaline team and was directed by darkmencito
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the handheld portal device is so frickin awesome
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You are fool
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Welcome to Project 4. Your instructor clearly doesn't like you, or you would not be here today.
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I hate you. I really, really hate you.
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I am here to kill you
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Gee Mod Idiot Box Is Awesome
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Amy. this is glados... how are you?
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suprise motherfoker you are onwed!
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Was ist das ?
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Was ist das
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Hello viewers, this is GLaDOS. You might want to know about the Team Fortress 2 championship i will be hosting. The championship will be hosted at 9 PM, Eastern Standard Time. Good luck.
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Hello. This is Genetic Lifeform and Disk Operating System, shotly GLADOS.
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Marketing is boring as shit
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hello, insert a coin
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Welcome to LisekPL Labolatories. My name is GLaDOS. I am master computer.
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hello test subject. We can start the test now.
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DELTA.. GO HOT!
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Enter this button to send the message
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nooooo
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She tried pesto for the first time. Can you believe that? 98 years old, trying pesto for the first time.
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Hola raul. El Companion cube es tuyo.
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I am Ellen Mclain
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Master, you have a text message
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DAMNIT
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Oh my god! You have got to be kidding me.
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the aperture science brett motivator device
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hello I rule everhthing
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ahh... a visitor
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incoming nomination
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The Portal Mod
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hello isabel
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your an ass
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Flat
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flat
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Flat Racoon
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dfs
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The Doctor annoys me. Him and his so called, TARDIS... He defies many things... And that... That gets me mad! I hate that Time Lord!
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anal ass
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What are you doing here? Get out!
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I can see you, and you will be caught!
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I know who you are, and I am calling the police!
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Attention to all programmer please update the assets bundles
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Gonadal ridges differentiate into either testes or ovaries
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ebin
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Karlo sent you a gift in Dungeon Rampage! Please help by sending one back!
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Hello Camillia
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Hello. I'm sorry to inform you the cake is a lie.
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Say it to mee
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Suzie. I did this all for you. Don't you love me anymore? I thought you cared. Oh Suzie, you so pointy.
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bobobobo
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Jirooooooo
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I WILL KILL YOU, YOU INSOLENT HUMAN BEING!
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Hello. My name is Glados and this is the Jackass.
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Szlema!!!
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ciao Daniel, benvenuto a casa, la prego di attendere prima che incominci il test
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hi human, I'm here to kill you all lol I was joking! or maybe not....
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WARNING . VIRUS detected..... shutting down mainframe ....unable to shutdown .... manual shut down intiated... closing down hard disk and processor .... all systems shuting off in 3..2..1.
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WARNING . VIRUS detected..... shutting down mainframe ....unable to shutdown .... manual shut down intiated... closing down hard disk and processor .... all systems shuting off in 3..2..1
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WARNING . VIRUS detected shuting off in 3..2..1
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Hello Eli, Connor, Nathan, Sean, Joshua, and everyone else who may be listening! Yes, this is GLaDOS. Do you love me? I love you! When you're dead and swimming in a vat of liquidized neurotoxins! Monster. YOLO!
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Hello, we are anonymous, Anna post a nudepicture on facebook. or i will kill you
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Hello, And welcome to the aperture science lab. My name is GLaDOS and I shall help you in your tests. That was a joke, HAHAH, Fat chance!
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chupame tooooooooooooda la polla
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I am nikita
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hi, i can't kill you, im buy a cake
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Legirac est le meilleur
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Me gusta el vino
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that requires a shocking disregard for personal safety
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Hello Children, Marty you must come back to the facilitay. I, Your father and sister owaits you. I will give you a melon
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Hola, mi nombre es glados y voy a matarte
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i want a cake
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Hello Matthew And Welcome to the new generation
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Hello Morgan. I want to see you at euro gamer
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Welcome to the aperture science space station.
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Paul's looked like hell today. Do you have too much Wild Star on your little mind?
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It's real
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krgjjrg
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I love bad women, that's my only problem
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We have a call in queue. Please stop what you are doing and answer it. Yes, that means you. Thank you.
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This is Channel 6 News, with your host, Chip VanDyke.
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Welcome to aperture Science enrichment center
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Hooray! It is now time to test whether your bones can withstand three thousand pounds of pressure before turning to powder. The previous test subjects didn't do so well. We've been at this one for a while.
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I will not miss you, at all... thanks and goodbye.
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my little pony lol
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LOL IM COOL
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Hello, Joe.
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i will end you evil slag
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Oh. Hi. How are you holding up? Because I'm a potato.
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Weird how your voice sounds different on video
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Where am I going
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Hello Jazmin
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lets play your dum ass
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hello, im glados. can i help you?
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lets play your dom ass
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Hello Jesse James Gheller, How are you?
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i'd like to know how does this work. Writing a sentence and convert it to voice
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bonours
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hello whats your name? my name is GLaDOS
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Hallo wie gehts es dir
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PLEASE STOP FIGHTING
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Hello, Max. I am glad to see you!
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Where are you, Ryan?
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Hola, buenos dias
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You just killed a puppy. Good Job. Now, I will kill YOU!
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porst
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YOU MORON!
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je ne sais pas ou je suis
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GlaDOS the best !
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BUDGET MOTOR SPARES, THE FIRST ONES TO BRING MICHELIN HYBRID WIPERS ON EBAY, UK
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You have received a new email from Mark Koson.
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You have received a new email from Diego Trujillo.
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hello. What is your name?
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well luke, is this what you wanted?
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robot affliction
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euthanasia denied
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welcome to the aprature science enrichment center
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Welcome test subject number 13. Your duty is to escape this Facility. Good luck.
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Hello, my name is orianna
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I am awake. And I am going to kill you all.
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me vas a comer la polla
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for attractive lips, speak words of kindness
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Message for me!
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hello i'm a machine
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im gonna kill you! now you gonna die!
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Hallo guten Tag! heute werden sie sterben! Du hattest die Wahl. Dein Tod ist nun unabweichbar!
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hey my names jake im a teen vampire my favorite colour is red
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PUTO PUTO PUTOOO
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Hello Rafael
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Heather. Would you like to hear something really neat. You know who this is.
Download04/16/201307/14/2013
Thank you for being a part of the Appature Science combustable Lemon Testing Project.
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Rokay. Finarry! Oh no. It's those god-damn Mongorian again! Stop! Stop right there, Mongorians! God-damnit, stop! Stop breaking down my shitty wrall, you stupid Mongorians! OH, GOD-DAMNIT!! That's the rast time you're gonna break down my shitty wrall!
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gong
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Welcome to KidGames.
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you'll never take me alive! Noooooooooooooooooooo!
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Hello testing will begin
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My name is Tikiyami
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Yo nigga
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O H or something like that
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motha fuka
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Oh, i hope you has te honestly truth of the world.
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Hello, welcome to the Aperture Science test chambers, here is the Portal Gun, take it.
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The encounter put me in the mood to shop
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recipient unavailable, please leave a message after the tone
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It's good to see you, I'm Tee.
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Super Grind
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Hey, Mr. Marc, Someone Is Calling...
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I like to sing
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Your cat shall be abused!
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Hallo Patrick Schneider.
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Hello and welcome to the Aperture Science Enrichment Facility. This next test will provide useful information about Portal and Portal 2.
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downlaoding complete launch
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Hello and welcome to the Aperture Science Enrichment Center. This next test will provide useful information about Portal and Portal 2. We at Aperture Science hope you will enjoy your stay at GIGA D E. Also, there will be cake.
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You are reported. You noob
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Reported
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bonne fete guillaume
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wellcome to aperture science ben lussier
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Greg your my hero
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Ce film est nul
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The test will last your entire life and it will be comprised to the millions of decisions that when taken together, will make your life yours. And everything will be on it.
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The test will last your entire life and it will be comprised to the millions of decisions that when taken together, will make your life yours. And everything EVERYTHING will be on it.
Download04/17/201307/14/2013
Hey how's you, I've been waiting to talk but enough about me, I feal like i need to kill you for all the things you did to me, so lets drop the conversation and start up your old pal. Deadly neurotoxin. Remember him? Well, i think he likes you, so lets go
Download04/17/201307/14/2013
helloYour the morpn they made to make me an idiot!
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ooooooo lets go to bed
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Locking on target. Target confirmed. Ready to carry out yet ANOTHER of your whims.
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It is so quiet we may as well go home early for the day
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Welcome to my server i hope you enjoy
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Moi Lauri
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estan a punto de llamarlo, yo lo se, soy glados, yo todo lo se, asi que conteste ahora
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Hello Antcent Kaff.
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Thank you for calling Shepherd Energy. We are currently experiencing high call volumes. Please leave your message after the tone.
Download04/17/201307/14/2013
Hello, and welcome to the Minecraft version 1.5.1.
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Embracing
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You've got a new text message. Perhaps it contains cake?
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Hi, welcome to the aperture cience. Please proceed to the Weaponary Room. Here you can pick your portal gun. Whaaaat? WHO ARE YOU!?
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user permission access
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anatolia
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Happy Late Birthday Schae, Do You Want Cake?
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Wait! what are you doing?
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To GWTReaver I hope this video goes terrible for you love GLaDOS
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i.. hate... humans
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Welcome to Science Mind Blows
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hi pretty boy
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i lie buts
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i like buts
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was up sexy boy
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hello sean kelly i just wanted to say, tom is way better at portal 2.
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Good travels
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Deep danger
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You are my best friend.
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ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
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Cortosis the Hutt sends his regards.
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We are sorry but someone pulled a fire alarm. You need to evacuate the premises immediatly.
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I can't seem to find Molly
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I'm a hobo
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The American Working Class makes up about one third of the american population
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what do you do
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I sell propane and proane accessories
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Subscribe To Reduced Effort
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Hello I'm Christophe and I will take control of your mind
Download04/18/201307/14/2013
So call me mabye?
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Hello Ana.
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Hello. I am Glados. I will be talking like this for as long as my youtube exists. I will be doing animating for my account.
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Hello hunter. This is the glados voice.
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i hate you you you suck go die in a hole actually i need test subjects so don't die
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Hollis hello I need to tell you that you may have a minor case of serious brain damage. Do not be alarmed, but if you are keep that feeling.Bastard
Download04/18/201307/14/2013
Someone is calling you. I suggest you pick up the phone
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Oh good, A call has come. Pick up at your own risk.
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Hello, and welcome to aperture laboratories
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hello Becca, congratulations on your new job.
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DJ Nathan
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I would really appreciate if you'd just curl up into a corner and die.
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The Daleks need support. And who could cooperate better with them than the genius GLaDOS? Noone.
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Welcome to the Monetizing Inc family!
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Hallo and again. Welcome to your fabulous computer.
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holaa
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Roberta, I am a robot. They designed artificial intelligence and I was made. The experiment backfired, apparently I'm a lunatic.
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Generate? What? Good? :D ?
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I love you Brianna
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hello lauren how are you today?
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hello once again audiance
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sei nicht sauer es ist nur ein spiel
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Tomas Silva tienes caca
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Aperture Science Computer-Aided Software Installation. Goodbye
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Smell my poo
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Dopey Network Media
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I'm GlaDOS.
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clean it up clean it up pick up the trash now clean it up pick up the food now
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GlaDOS and aperture
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Hello. and welcome to the aperture science research facility. we have designed this facility to look like your normal home. good luck trying to excate.
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we do what we must becouse
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Estimated waiting time: 9 months, 27 days, 13 hours, 50 minutes
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die potato! nooo
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Christina, I love you!
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nope Chuck Testa
Download04/18/201307/14/2013
Congratulations. You just lost the game!
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hello X box live friends
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know what i mean? the graphics of miscommunication. Design Museum. the 11th of February 2012.
Download04/18/201307/14/2013
Hey Conor, wouldn't the world be a much, better place, if we could all, talk, like me
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fack this shit!
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HI MY NAME IS DOMINIC
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I absolutely hate you, you stupid moron.
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glados porque voce e tao ma
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allah akbar
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Big ass titties
Download04/18/201307/14/2013
jacob is tupid
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fuk me in my ass
Download04/18/201307/14/2013
Hello, and welcome to aperture science laboratories
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welcome to ladies superstar
Download04/18/201307/14/2013
you will die in a pit of fire you horrible person
Download04/18/201307/14/2013
hello my name is lani
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Hello, are you ready to eat?
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Whale whale whale, what have we here?
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DADDY DADDY DADDY DADDY DADDY DADDY DADDY DADDY DADDY DADDY DADDY DADDY DADDY DADDY DADDY DADDY DADDY DADDY DADDY DADDY DADDY DADDY DADDY DADDY
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hello Vanessa. How are you today? I wanted to let you know that you will fall down in to a big black hole today while falling til your ears fly out.
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What the hell is going on Vanessa?
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Praise the flavor cube etermal, unto the fall of the flavorless sphere.
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for security response
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Your mobile phone is sounding.
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your mobile phone is ringing.
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I am Ellen McLain
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Morning Jane. What Would you like to do now?
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georgia smells
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ALEX SMELLS POEY
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I ATE A CRACKER MADE OF HUMAN -- WAIT I MEAN CHEESE
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meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow
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alex cassie is in love with ed. yum yum
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alex cassie is gay
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meow i'm a dog meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow -your nextdoor neibohrs cat
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Potatoes are nutricious
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Hello and welcome again to the aperture science enrichment centre. Here you are going to test with a hand held portal device. If you cross them you will be rewarded a cake.
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Hey cutie pie! You looked gorgeous yesterday!!!
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Community spirit is a local initiative which aims to bring together the local community and help charities in barnsley. the event will be held in Locke Park on the 27th of July between midday and 6 o'clock. entertainment, food and drinks will be available
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Fuk Sake
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Welcome, User. Its been a long time. How have you been?
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hello my name is jad
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I just wanted to inform you that you are not breating real air
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I like chesse but im a robot.
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Perfect
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Perfect Sara.
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Noob!
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Whats up Lorenz
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Acee can you hear me? It is me. GLaDOS.
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And I was like oatmeal are you crazy?
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i dont give a flying phuck
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Jugal. Did I mention how I'm going to murder you with a spoon? I did? Well this is just a reminder then!
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Jun Seba, better known as the Japanese hip-hop producer and DJ Nujabes, composed the music for the anime series Samurai Champloo. The series blends a feudal Japanese setting with modern anachronisms, and he contributed a hip-hop soundtrack that is strongl
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Thanks for this generator
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Hello Josh, I have been expecting you
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Thanks for this Generator
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you don't know cry.you don't know fear.you don't know anything
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i know what you did last summer
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It's Nice To You
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ola sofi
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ola soy sofi
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Hello, you little guy
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thats a very nice everything you have there. it would be such a shame if anything were to happen to it, would it?
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leave Britteny alone
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Hello im glados your navigation system in aperture science laboratories!
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hi i am a fab of portal
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Ciao sono GLaDOS e sono qui per ucciderti
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write
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That was very exciting, you know...
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I'm am the god of the Zal-Necrid species and I will kill you.
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Hey im Philipp
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I'll be back!
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are you still there to make me happy or kill me with your turrets
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om nom nom nom nom nom nom nom
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hello edward i am glados please to meet you today on little big planet twoooooo
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My name is Sammy and I am a sassafrass
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Shutup Sam Burford
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You have dialed 07577825833. This person is currently unavailable, please leave a message after the beep.
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