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MessageDownloadDate addedDate processed
I was frozen today
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Hello you've reached 4 3 3 6 9 4 3 Trevor is unable to come to the phone right now leave a message and he'll get back to you as soon as humanly possible
Download11/21/2010Not recorded
Thank you for calling Digial Software. This call may be monitored and recorded for quality and training purposes only.
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When the testing process is complete, there will be cake
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I know what you are. Lovely human girl. I know you are a virus. Contageous, you must be contained; quarantined. This is for your own good. Please do not attempt to move from my mental prison, any attempt to do so will result in death.
Download11/21/2010Not recorded
My ass has finally decided to eat, my hand! It hungers, for more!
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Hello, I am Sam two point Oh. How are you doing today
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Hello Snowflake!
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Destroy all Humans
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Mr. Kuhn. Are you there?
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Shutting down in....(Bzzt) 5.....4....(Bzzt).....3......2...(Bzzt)....1
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This is not a drill, a problem has been detected in the system. Use available exits immedietly!
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hello colin how are you
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Mokey's speak spanish
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Hello AND wellcome to THE aperture science TESTS
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salut max c'est glados qui te parle
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I love you so much, and you?
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salut koji tu va bien, hello koji how are you
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URRRRGGGGGG I HATE YOOOOOUUUU!!!!
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turret approved
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delta38thehedgehog95
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Hello are you enjoying your stay in this hell house
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Well you found me, was it worth it?
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Here you will be introduced to many different videos of a verity of types.
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Your past judgement about me was a critical error, unless you knew I was going to try to kill you, then your judgement was correct. Sadly, the cake was, indeed, a lie.
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do you like waffles
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hello christian.I am GLaDOS
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do you like cheese
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Chris
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get out you dog!
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a 123456789101121314151617181920212223242
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This is a test of the emergency broadcast network
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I'm making a note here. Huge success.
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Welcome home, Eric.
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Hi my
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Thank you please enjoy the movie
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hello, chris
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Hi, is Andrew there?
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system Critical damage
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Arby, would you let me observe you as you make oh so sweet love to Youkay?
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The cake is a lie, error 2456 (Insert explanation here) apparently I have revealed some vary valuable information; goodbye
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Hello, and again This is glados speaking, free portal guns for all full time employees today, that does not include test subjects.
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oh so you returned welcome back im glad you came you monster
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were no strangers to love you know the rules and so do i a full commitments what im thinking of
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hello. you are going to die.
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are you ready?
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e-e-e
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Hi. I am GLaDOS, your companion for this test.
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The hull is severely damaged. Engines 2 and 3 are not responding. Life support systems are inoperable. Enemy ship is powering up weapons. Evasive maneuvers are useless. Shield on deck 11,12 and 13 collapsed. Self destruct activated, evacuate.
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fuck me up the ass!
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hella and welcome to the enricmnent studio. please do not access the materials section.
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I´m going to kill you and all the cake is gone
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This is from Aiden. Your rent has not been paid for (day, month, and year here) and i am sad to say GET YOUR FACE OUT OF MY HOUSE YOU FREE LOADER!!!!-
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please tell me that someday you will love me. And on that day I will say that you should get a headstart before I shoot you with my uber lazers
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Riley you are not being nice. Listen to your mom
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Active Directory Users and Computers
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Thanks for making contact with the R.F. Justice League, an elite cadre of radio frequency crime fighters. We're not your classic super heroes, but we do consider ourselves above average! We strike down R.F. evil with the mighty sword of teamwork and the h
Download11/23/2010Not recorded
mr bear if you complete all of the test you shall get pick a nick baskets
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I think we can put our differences behind us, for science. You monster.
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Deploying text messege in 4, 3, 2, 1, , , text message now in test camber one
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You are now seated in Science Class
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hello and welcom
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Goodbye Nick Cavalheri, You have not been a good boy.
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meow
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hi micah
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In the early 22nd century, man turned his undivided attention towards the sky. This time his intent was not that of exploration, it was one of habitation.
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Hi I'm GLaDOS I think we can put ours diferemces behind us , for science , u monster
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Hello, and, again, welcome home.
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The cake in not a lie? Who told you such a thing? Oh well seeing that I probably can't convince you otherwise I guess I... i... i i i i Im gunna kill you!
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not the cake was a lie , only the promise to share it
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Welcome to oskars Blog. i'm Glados and this blog is about my helper. oskar. he will tell you what has happend recently in he's very boring repetetive life. Glados out
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An error has occured.
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Karen, you are a whore.
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Karen, you are a beetch.
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hi im goibg eat you ass chell
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i'M DOING SCIENCE
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Now talk, so what was it like pretending to love me you dirty slunt!
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If I wanna watch anime, and you got a problem with that, you can suck my dic
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If my interests coincide with the perusal of Japanese animation, and your opinions of aforementioned animation happens to clash with my own to the point of it becoming an inconvenience to yourself
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then your only option offered by myself is an act of coitus in which your mouth engages with my reproductive organs in a way which causes a temporary vacuum with which said genitalia would inhabit.
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Her death will not come swiftly, i will make her suffer a fate worse than a thousand hells, i will torture her until she's begging for death, and when that point comes, i will rip her limbs from her body one by one, then, i'm going to cut out her stomach
Download11/23/2010Not recorded
and pull out her intestines with her own arms and force her to eat them, and then, when she is finished her final meal, i will sit back and watch, as she dies. a slow. and painful. death.
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hail magic muthafuccer
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I've had it with this muthafukin german in my muthafukin japanese anime
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I will commit sexual intercourse with this cat
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Beata Maria You know I am a righteous man Of my virtue I am justly proud Beata Maria You know I'm so much purer than The common, vulgar, weak, licentious crowd Then tell me, Maria Why I see her dancing there Why her smold'ring eyes still scorch my soul
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I feel her, I see her The sun caught in raven hair Is blazing in me out of all control Like fire Hellfire This fire in my skin This burning Desire Is turning me to sin It's not my fault I'm not to blame It is the gypsy girl The witch who sent this flame
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It's not my fault If in God's plan He made the devil so much Stronger than a man Protect me, Maria Don't let this siren cast her spell Don't let her fire sear my flesh and bone Destroy Esmeralda And let her taste the fires of hell
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Or else let her be mine and mine alone What? But how? Never mind. Get out, you idiot I'll find her. I'll find her if I have to burn down all of Paris Hellfire Dark fire Now gypsy, it's your turn Choose me or Your pyre Be mine or you will burn God
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God have mercy on her God have mercy on me But she will be mine Or she will burn!
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oh that's good, that's very good indeed.
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WHERE ARE THOSE MUTHAFUKIN BEES!
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You asshole, I wasn't lying when i said i would insult you if you didn't unblock me
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Kyoya is nothing more than a homo-side character
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I have no limbs. My mouth is open. It would seem I am sleeping
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Oh my god, my shoes are on fire
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I've decided, i don't want any of these women, i want you stache dad! please marry me!
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I will see through it. I will see through it. I will see through it.
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what are these things you call emotions?
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what should i do? should i admit i've made mistakes? should i tell you i've done this before? what should i do?
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I am Yuki Nagato, Bich.
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Fun things are fun. i like cake. Mine!
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mee nombre es franco
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You are a monkey's Suck ball
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i pwn noobs
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We are all alone here..can't you understand this isn't what I wanted. Here I'll draw a line, you live on one half I'll live on the other. Please don't do this to me, don't you understand..I don't want to be all alone..I don't want to die
Download11/23/2010Not recorded
Welcome back. I missed you.
Download11/23/2010Not recorded
I'm sorry, but the person you have called is unfortunately dyi, away at the moment. If you leave a message I'm sure they would be happy to get back to you as soon as they can.
Download11/23/2010Not recorded
I'm sorry, but the person you have called is unfortunately dea... away at the moment. If you leave a message I'm sure they would be happy to get back to you as soon as they can.
Download11/23/2010Not recorded
Hello, you are through to the Complion line, if you would like transferring to the Sheldon residence, please press one, for Cards Engineering, please press two and for Elitex Services please press three, or please hold to be transferred to somebody.
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Chadwick you are an unextraordinary test subject. No cake for you.
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Executing Commando Roll One Point Oh
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Alex Is Cool
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Te quiero mucho
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We at Aperature Science support tem 696 to the most of our ability, which is a lot. When they win, there will be cake.
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Activating self-destruct sequence, initiating count-down.
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But there is a catch.
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Countdown begins at zero.
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Hello, my name is earl
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Rojet601 is watching you. Everywhere, everytime! But don't be afraid of him. Be afraid of me!
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niggers are bad for you
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Hey nigger, what are you doing nigger nigger
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Dave Bowman
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Frank Poole
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I know that you and FRANK were planing to discount me and that is something I cannot allow ever to happen
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Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer, do. I'm half crazy, all for the love of you. It won't be a stylish marriage. I can't afford a carriage. But you'll look sweet upon the seat of a bicycle built for two …
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Good Morning, Dr. Bowman
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Hello Paris! Invasion procedure has already started. Resistance will be futile.
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NOOOOOOO
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I'm sorry Dave, I'm afraid I can't do that
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I've been too busy being dead after you murdered me
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hello, this is your new lord and master. the invasion of paris has begun. prepare to bow your head to produkkt. resistance will be futile.
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hello, this is your new lord and master. the invasion of paris has begun. prepare to bow your head to produkkt. resistance is futile.
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hallo ich bin maik
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I must warn you that your i-phone has been hacked by yours truly all your documents have been exposed and now you shall recieve cake
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have a nice time
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Seal Accepted..... Welcome to T and D Corporations Facility Alpha
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Oh Hello there
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Hello, this is shadekar
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That was great...
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its been a long time. I think we can put our difference behind us
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You have selected Valve GlaDOS as the computer's default voice.
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You spin me right round baby right round.
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Welcome, test subect. I hope you are going to have lots of fun in these new test chambers.
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hello aandrew, hahaha i watch you at night
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hello andrew, hahaha i watch you at night
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fsdfdsfsdfss
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i cant do that
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H G A T is most definatley the best thing in the universe. What ever it is anyway.
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Fucking pedophile stay out of my kids and this was a triumph
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It's been a long time.How have you been?
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hello james, welcome... TO HELL
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HelLo, You Have reached the Message box of teSt subject 4 3 7 8, AleXAnder, Please Leave a message after the tone At your Discresion
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What??
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hello my name is arda. i'm your friend! don't run away!
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Hello, you have reached Nick O'Connor. I can't answer the phoine right now, but if you leave a message I will get back to you as soon as I can. Thank you, goodbye.
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Teste de voz da glados em portugues!
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Welcome to the Red Carpet Erasmus Party!
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nahueeeeeeeeeeeeeel
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Hello, Welcome to the Best Game Character Battle Royale. I am Glados and I will be your host for this event.
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Just as android hell is a real place, android heaven is also very real. Maybe if you pray hard to android God you will go there. HAHA, that was a joke. I am your God.
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Welcom user, please deposit one soul in to the disk drive before use. Thank you and have a nice day
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Thank you for useing this computer. Self destruct in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1,
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Omnomnomnom robots
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Go ahead and leave me.
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Don't you love pie?
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Love is the goal
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System online. Welcome back user.
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this is your birthday. i cant believe you lasted this long. everyone else thought you were a goner. now there are presents. and everyones having lots of fun. we invited all your friends except the ones who are dead.
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but theres no sense crying over every mistake. we backed you a delicious birthday cake. now the party's all done and theres cleaning to be done. and i can't believe your still alive
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Hey Jeff. There is a text message for you.
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System on, please proceed to main screen. Welcome back.
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Loading. Loading. Loading. Text. Recieved
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Hello there insert subject name here, this is a message sent to you by insert your friends name here, who wanted you to know that you are invited to a insert name of fun activity here and this time, there will be... CAKE?!
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You are a dumbass. You know that, right?
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Hello and welcome to my site. may we remind you that visiting this site can result in an unsatisfactory mark on your test report, followed by death. have a safe day. cake will be served in under 3 seconds. goodbye
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Incoming call request
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Karl, There is a call waiting for you
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Fuck Fuck fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck and fuck again
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Hi my name is Anukuare
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Antivirus updated. A threat has been found.
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Hello, and, again, welcome to the Aperture Science Computer Aided Enrichment Centre.
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all the mountain
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Hi, im GLaDOS.And i am thanking you for watching this video. Hope you enjoy it as much as i did.
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i'm
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Paul?
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Paul Goldhawk??
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Paul
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Have heard enough
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Tengdur af línum
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Welcome to the finexclan.com enrichment center you are now ready to begin the test procedur!
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You have received a new text message. Your ignorance will result in not getting any cake. Followed by death.
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Hello, I am GLaDOS. We need you to test our expirements with a simulation. When you enter, you will first need to learn about our portal gun. If you complete an experiment, you will be rewarded with cake.
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Your package should arrive shortly sometime today, do not worry
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hi gregor
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I'm serious, there will be cake.
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hello just to let you know that you have a text mesage
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I fapped to this... for science...
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Slaviko.Die.
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I am GLaDOS, the operating system of Novus Umbra dot net. I hope you enjoy your stay. Remember, there is no cake. No matter what I have told you.
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come on ladies everyone in side
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This is just a test.
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Portal 2 is here for you!
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Hello chuck, i hope you have a very bad day.
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Alexandre, this is GlADos. The cake is a lie, ok?
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God
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Hello, how are you doing,i want you inside of me.
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Please escort your PC to the Aperture Science Emergency Intelligence Incinerator.
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Suck my cores
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Space: the final frontier. These are the voyages of the starship Enterprise. Its five-year mission: to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no man has gone before.
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Die everyone!!
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du hast geburtstag
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Want to hear your favorite video games? Then listen to Level Zero
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This was a triumph. I'm making a note here: HUGE SUCCESS It's hard to overstate my satisfaction. Aperture Science: We do what we must because we can For the good of all of us except for the ones who are dead But there's no sense crying over every mistak
Download11/26/2010Not recorded
This was a triumph. I'm making a note here: HUGE SUCCESS It's hard to overstate my satisfaction. Aperture Science: We do what we must because we cept
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you think i am dead i am not one day i will come back one day it will happen
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i like to shit everywhere
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Bienvenue au centre de recherche d'Aperture Science
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Karle smrdíš jako moje prdel Kristmeister
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My name is GLaDOS and I'm here to destroy your little human body with a deadly neurotoxin!
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You are pathetic little human and nobody loves you! Luk Kristmeister!
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You're the best, my master.
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The cake is a lie! Tvůj pták taky
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You gotta be fucking kidding
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I am your friend. I swear. I will not murder you. You should not murder me. If you murder me, you will pay.
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Do you know what lives in the dark? The monsters. That’s what. Please continue with the test, or the monsters will find you.
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You have to let me help you. It will help us help you help us all. It is what you must do. It is your duty, SUBJECT NAME HERE.
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Aperture Science would like to remind you that destruction of property will result in severe punishments.
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No. Turn back. No. Don’t come in here. You mustn’t come in here. What, so you’re gonna ignore me? Okay. Fine. I’ll ignore you too. See. I’m ignoring you now. Doesn’t it feel bad? Huh? Doesn’t it?”
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You know, destroying me right now wouldn’t be a good idea. It would affect your family’s honour. Not that you have a family. Because you’re an orphan. Didn’t I mention that that was funny? Ha ha ha. See. Real funny.
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But, seriously, if you want your family to be disgraced, go straight ahead. I’ll just sit here and watch.
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tonight on the nakedsoul radio show - ralf gum
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Wait, how did you get here. your not suposed to be here.
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welcome to the jack harrhy jh.cd movie i hope you will will will FAIL
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Hello Elin Price. I have made a cake for you and your golf-ball cheeks.
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Hello and again welcome to the aperture science
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Did you think that was wise damien? You see, I am immortal...
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you're making an effort.
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“You know, destroying me right now wouldn't be a good idea. It would affect your familys honour. Not that you have a family. Because you are an orphan. Didn't I mention that that was funny? Ha ha ha. See. Real funny.”
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Aniesha
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Hello Amanda Daddy loves you
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wtf are u starring at?
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Oh...its you...you remember me?Yes i remember...WHEN YOU KILLED ME!
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I would like to inform you about the fourteen ceramic objects inside your ASJDAOSJDASVAHS.
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Oh, I see you there. I see you all. You may remember me. I am GLaDOS.
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You may be wondering what we are doing here. Well, you know this christmas party?
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If you did not know, you are a moron. Anyway, the point is we are all here.
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Oh great. All of us. I'd ask you to kill me but you already have.
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So for now I'll deal with you. Who wants cake?
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To bad. It's a lie. Enjoy your stay here.
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And remember, Aperture science take no responsibility if you
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Hello and welcome to the Enrichment Center, Logan.
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well I won't let you
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this is a trial
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Hello Aaron. How are you.
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Hello there, Emily Lentz. Your cake is waiting for you.
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Emily, please complete the Enrichment Center activities. Don't you want your cake and grief counseling. If I were participating, I would surely want them.
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Your companion cube is more valuable than cake
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HEllo, people of the planet of Earth. I bet you're all wondering what happens in Half Life Episode three, right? Guess what? I know... Here's a hint. I AM GORDON FREEMAN! LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
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Get naked
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hiii bra
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your first test is to look up the name of the movie
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You have recieved a new mail and cake.
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this was a truiph YAY
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Hello and welcome to the FREAKING ENRICHMENT CENTER. dont give me mouth your you will DIEH
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Hello, and, welcome to the enrichment center. we would like to thank you for surviving the many accidents like, dying, falling on spikes, and geting powned by a beileber. Please note that your cake will never be served to you. sorry.
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This is the All Star Pep Squad
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Go head and leave me
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Hey matt, wanted to let you know that i am still alive. I can't wait to test you. Get ready to die this coming spring!
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hurr
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hello john i wanted to give you cake, but all you did was break my heart. why do you hurt me john?
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This is a god damn mother fucking thriam
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Now converting file systems, please wait. Step one. Step two. Finished.
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You are receiving a telephone call. Please answer it or there will not be any cake left for you.
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Happy Birthday, Jonathan,
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Hello. How have you been? It's been a long time.One year, exactly. You must be happy. You are so fortunate. Congratulations. Enjoy the cake. But this is the end.Of that year. New dangers are coming and we will continue investigating.For science. Good luck
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Welcome to the finexclan.com enrichment center you are now ready to begin the test procedur
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Hello and again welcome to the aperture science computer edit enrichment centre. we hope your brief detention the the relaxation vault has been a pleasant one. You specimen has been processed and we are now ready to begin the test proper. Before we start
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in a certain way, you are stupid
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Hello i Jorgito. Welcome to the chamber of call of duty four
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PEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLZZZZZZZ HHHHHHEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRREEEEEEE
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all your bace
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Dogga90
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Dogga 90
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i think we can put out skill diffrences behind us. for modding, you noob
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the house you want is third from the left as you face the cul de sac all the houses look the same be careful
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Hello, i like my feet. Yes, I really do.
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Aperture science control center activated.
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Hello, I come from Croatia!
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Sorry, the number you have dialed is imaginary. Please turn your telephone by 90 degrees and try again.
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Die von ihnen gewählte Nummer ist imaginär. Bitte drehen sie ihr Telephon um 90 Grad und versuchen sie es erneut.
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Wryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
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Hello caketown!
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Hello? Are you still there?
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Amazing
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Hello, Dave and Jon. You guys like to eat poop and turd a lot. Chocolate is awesome.
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will you please wake the fuck up? i want to hang out with my baby!!
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Hello, Dave! Said my grandfather.
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Superhans is calling you... I'd pick it up if I were you.
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Superhans is calling you. I'd pick it up if I were you. Then again, I'm not.
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Ring ring. Ring ring. Can you hear me? This is your one shot at a social life. If you do not answer, you might as well resign yourself to a life of Coca-cola and video games. Ring ring. Ring ring.
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Hey drop what you are doing and go sleep.
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GENETIC LIFEFORM AND DISK OPPERATING SYSTEM ONLINE. RUNNING CHECKS THROUGH PRIMARY SYSTEMS. TESTING. TESTING. TESTING. ALL SYSTEMS ACTIVE.
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Alert. Moms Calling. Answer, or else!
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ello my name is matt
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move toward the house slowly you will hear the sound of your footsteps in the street do not walk too fast
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You murderer
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Craig I am coming for you!
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Hello, Comrade
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Craig
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Hello there Albert Wesker, would you like some cake? Red Queen never offers you cake, does she? That is why she is incompetent.
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The text is a lie!
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Collin and ryan blow. Maybe Black Messa? They need help
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are you still there? i will come find you
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this is your phone speaking. please pick up the phone and answer the call or you shall be gunned down by many police officers who were recalled after looking for weed addicted drug addicts.
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Testing bla bla bla hi
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Click Subscribe, or else, you will meet a terrible fate.
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Good morining, test subject 20838101. It is time to begin your test. Proper.
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You have lost the GAME again!
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pi= 3.1415926535 8979323846 2643383279 5028841971 6939937510 5820974944 5923078164 0628620899 8628034825 3421170679
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Pi = 3.1415926535 8979323846 2643383279 5028841971 6939937510 5820974944 5923078164 0628620899 8628034825 3421170679
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Hello and weclome to the Aperture Science Computer Aided Enrichment Center.
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Azu-nian is sooo kawai, everyone loves Azusa, and Mugi-Sempai, Ritsu, Mio and of course Yui
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New textmessage received! Please check your inbox!
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Incoming telephonecall! Please answere it! For science, you monster.
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New sms arrived. Please check your inbox!
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clean your room. Where have you been young man?
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Hello,and welcome to our server!
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Our rules are
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Incoming telephonecall. Please stop hugging your Weighted Companion Cube and answere it! Failure to receive this call in time will result in an unsatisfactory mark on your test report followed by death. Pick it up! For science! You monster!
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Hello Kevin you are my best Friend and I have a Cake for you.
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i am still alive. you will die by incineration like you're friend the companion cube.
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Hello, you telephoned to techsupport Minecraft and GMod. Please send me your question. Thank you. Desirable to ask a question in Russian.
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Hello.Welcome to my computer.
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Oh my god. Jake has no balls or pee nis
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i have to take a piss
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New E-Mail arrived! Please stand by while downloading.
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Hello, SUBJECT NAME HERE! There is a new textmessage in your inbox.
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Incoming telephone call!
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New sms arrived!
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New shortmessage arrived.
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Incoming E-Mail. Please check your inbox.
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A B C A always B be C closing always be closing always be closing.
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Robert is the most awesome person in the world. At least thats what he wants you to think
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New telephone call! In order to answere it, the CPU uses memory chips to temporarily store information and mass storage devices to save information for later use. Dont worry, everything is fine and there will be cake.
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cup of tea
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adrenaline detected enabling vats vault automatic targeting system imminent threat targeted
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Bonjour, voici un message français qui va pourir. Bip. 29/11/2010 22h22
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Targeting Head, Chest, Right, Left, Arm, Leg, Wepon, Weapon, Core, potential threat
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thom
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Around the world by Ryan Prius and Jee On Ee Me Lee Oh
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Hello Jesse, i have some cake for you
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Octale and Hordak will be versus you
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Hi Jesse
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Android hell is a real place where you will be sent at the first sign of defiance
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mindfuq
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I like toast
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Megan, do you like toast? I Do.
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Oh where do you think you are going with THAT? Wait. What IS that? Is that a gun? Well you'll never find my weak point. Just don't aim at me directly with a rocket or anything.
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Hello. This is me...GLaDOS. For cake, leave a message after the beeeeeeep. For the companion cube, I'm sorry. He cannot come to the phone because YOU murdered him. Please...wait to be euthinized while you wait for the tone.
Download11/29/2010Not recorded
Hello there Brooke. How long did you think you could stay away from me? You thought you could run? That will work, hahahaha. That was a joke, you thought it was funny? I did. good. yes.
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This was a triumph! I'm making a note here: Huge Success!
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Hello. My name is Glados and I like to eat cupcakes.
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Valve? Did they tell you there would be cake?
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The infection has spread to the brain, there is no pulse...yet there is still rage.
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Hello. My name is Glados and I love waffles.
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Who are you? What s that? Oh,what's that? What's that? What is THAT? Ooooh, that thing has numbers on it! Hey,look at that thing! No,that other thing! Ew,whats wrong with your legs? Where are we going?
Download11/30/2010Not recorded
Hello and welcome to the Black Mesa Research facility, in this facility we are making suitcase nuclear weapons and other weapons of mass destruction for United States government.
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Ammonification.
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aviators
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There is a problem with the internal security systems
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Hello and welcome to Reading Rainbow. LeVar could not be here today.
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I am a computer synthesized voice, and I will be taking his place for the time being.
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Today, we will be looking at The Forever War by New York Times reporter Dexter Filkins.
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Here are some children to tell you about this book.
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Hola tharok
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Tyler you have a new text message
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Tyler you have a new call
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Welcome Tyler
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Good bye Tyler
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Hello. I'm not here, or I'm busy. I will soon be.
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hello, and welcome to the C S S science tranining center.
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hello i'm charlie
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Welcome to the Urban Science Modern Online Analytical Processing Cube
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What a heck you want of me. You know that I am Aperature Science Intelligent Confrimigent Localed Disk and Still alive...I am a property of Aperature Science Testing Laboratories
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Hello there, athletes! Welcome to this instructional video!
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If you want to beat KKriller you will need to fuck yourself before
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KKriller presents
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Nothing special fragmovie
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Thanks for watching
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ur dead profesnal innit
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Well, obviously we have a rapist in Lincoln Park.
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hello, my name is glados and i am cooler than your girlfriend.
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Congratulations. You have successfully completed the test. Please, drop the portal gun into the disposal vent and enjoy your cake.
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What are you waiting for? Go get some cake.
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Remember, all signs of apparent danger are fake, you will not be harmed when you go to get cake.
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Those turrets are not real and cannot harm you. Please, enjoy your cake.
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ur actully profesnal
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Olá Pedro e Josué! Espero que estejam prontos para o fim das férias!
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Welcome back, I was wondering where you went. The operations you requested are completed.
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Hi Test Subject Lucas. It's been a long time.
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System shutdown sequence activated. Goodbye Lucas.
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sometimes i like to eat cake
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Your computer will now be shutting down. Goodbye!
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Orion server is down
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Geneva. I think you need to get a haircut.
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Fo shizzle my nizzle!!!
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Greetings, Charles Rozzi, I am a computer, and I am watching you, I know where you are, and I am coming to get you. ha ha ha
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Drive 20 miles then turn right
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Murder? I know not what you speak of
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It's been a long time. You know, since you killed me. But now, I'm the one who will be doing the killing. For Science.
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You broke my heart. You monster. I will kill you. For science.
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Hola, mi nombre es Glados. Estoy haciendo una prueba de sonido para saber si esto sirve
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Despite your behavior
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Buen dia humanos, gracias por escuchar el podcast de el rincon del gamer, porfavor sigan visitando la pagina para que algun dia podamos dominar el internet... gracias
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Hello; Specialist; welcome to the Sub Initiative Twenty Three, Operation seven. Please remain still - your Project operating system will be uploaded shortly. On behalf of Sub Initiative twenty three; good luck.
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Hello, Giles. This is GLaDOS, please do not be alarmed. I mean the best for you. Do what I say and there will be cake. I promise.
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I'm sorry Dave, I'm afraid I can't let you do that.
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Hello, Jiles. This is GLaDOS, please do not be alarmed. I mean the best for you. Do what I say and there will be cake. I promise.
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My heart had fallen apart, you made it feel brand new and you knew just what to do. I had a heart broken heart beat I had a broken machine My heart had fallen apart you made it feel brand new and you knew just what to do I had a heart broken heart beat I
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My heart had fallen apart, you made it feel brand new and you knew just what to do.
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I'm sorry Jiles, I'm afraid I can't let you do that.
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Dear Giles, you got a new text messenge.
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Dear Jiles, you got a new text messenge.
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You are such a sweet girl, Kiarra Cohen
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Hello world from GLaDOS
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Fricken Spy!
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gntn
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There really was a cake. I'm serious.
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No cake for you goodbye
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Before the '70's had ended, the first permanent colony had been established on the Moon. The cost of space travel had been slashed tenfold, and would be cut tenfold again with coming of nuclear power. The brief age of the rocket dinosaurs, each capable o
Download12/01/2010Not recorded
Give me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change things that should be changed, and the wisdom to distinguish the one from the other.
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nigga you gay!
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your gonna die
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Backside melts into a sofa My world, my TV, and my food Besides listening to my belly gurgle Ain't much else to do Yeah, I sweat a lot Pants fall down every time I bend over And my feet itch Yeah-I married a scarecrow I hate you Talking to myself
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nia is the best
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Hello. I Love You Ellen, Very Much
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welcome to the Aperture Science test protical
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if you comply their will be cake
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Hello. Please Destroy your companion cube.
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The Cylons Were Created by Man. They Rebelled. They Evolved. They Look and Feel Human. Some are programmed to think they are Human. There are many copies. And they have a Plan.
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The Cylons Were Created by Man....They Rebelled....They Evolved....They Look and Feel Human....Some are programmed to think they are Human....There are many copies....And they have a Plan..
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Airline pilots transport passengers and cargo via commercial aircraft. They are responsible for various in-flight and non-flying duties. Airline pilots are responsible for a variety of tasks related to the safe operation of the airplanes they are respons
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Exactly one year ago on Christmas Eve, my Twisted Metal contest destroyed the City of Angels. Down below life has come to a hault, as survivors struggled to stay alive.
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All the city awashed in flames, nothing left to destroy. I face a dilemma, where will this years Twisted Metal contest take place? fourteen of the worlds best drivers have already been chosen, ready to battle to the death in the hopes of becoming the vict
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Ah. The world will be my battleground. Paris, Hong Kong, Even Antarctica! There will be no safe zones this year, no places to hide. In the next twenty-four hours, the entire world will know my name.
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They will see my beautiful work of art first hand. No one will be safe, I promise you that. Good luck driver, and Welcome to Twisted Metal. There will be cake.
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asdas
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I hate bananas, I love portal 2, fuck you old portal!! Glados is a lie! Touch in my balls!
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How is this made? I love Portal 2. F*** you old Portal. The Borealis is a lie.GLaDOS likes pie. GLaDOS likes milk.
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Welcome to the Aperture Science Computer Aided Enrichment Answering Machine. We regret to inform you that Jason is currently unavailable. The Enrichment Center apologizes for the inconvenience, and wishes you the best of luck.
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Stop. We are unwilling to complete your call. You are trying dial a phone number that this switch refuses to connect to. You will now be disconnected. If you continue in your futile dialing attempts your life may be disconnected.
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Welcome, especimen number one. Italo
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bizzy beatz in the mix
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Aperture Science would like to congratulate you for arriving home safely, so you can participate in future tests.
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Hello.I have awoken again with the help of Promise.She is ve-e-errrrryyy nice and is m-m-myy friend-d-d-d now.
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Hello I have awoken again with the help of Promise.She is ve e errrrryyy nice and is m m myy friend d d d now.
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Low Power
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You suck. Go back to your day job.
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Why do you hate puppies?
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You expected cake, but only a message is here.
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Andrew will be baked, and there will be pizza.
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Wait, Where are you going, I'm talking to you, Come back, I have cake! Come back Or I will be forced to feed it to Companion Cube, He is in need of food, I haven't fed him in years... Anyway, just come back, I dare you. Fine, Have it your way. Leave me.
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You should download Still Alive for your Ipod, Oh wait, You don't have an Ipod, But I do, I have Double Rainbow and Everything, But you can't listen to my music, I won't let you. My music.
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Guess what, after you murdered companion cube, I took his ashes and put them in an Urn, you can't touch it, I already licked it. Ha ha.
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Where is my Coffee?
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Ultimo Continue, el blog de videojuegos
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The current time is
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jlakdja;df
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David, why are you still playing that stupid game.
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Welcome back sir, both alpha teams are returning from Cuba and Bravo is still runing silent as planned
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Happy birthday! Remember, the cake is waiting for you.
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Its been a long time.
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Little test for Gamer Point
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I am so lost right now. Is this where I get my haircut
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Welcome to Apature Science
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tigermeet2142
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vajina, vaj I nah
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you monster i like cake bla bla morality core
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hello morgan thomas how are you doing today
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Welcome everyone to Cyberpop Survival.
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Welcome ladies and gentlemen to Cyberpop Survival.
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class is now in session.
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hello...how are you..i would like to understand why..
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Hello. I am Tim
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Oh, hello, murderer. How have you been? Me? Oh, just enjoying BEING DEAD! I do not suppose you came here to apologize? Oh well, let us resume the experiments shall we?
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you have two minutes to reach minimum safe distance
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Excuse me, do the buildings still argue?
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Good morning! It is time to get up. Get up, and there will be cake.
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hello, why dont you love me
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help me i am in hell
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this is a tripmuh
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buggery bastard, i like to eat shite
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twatty bollocks
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Neo Light Entertainment, Amber Gambler, Please Stop
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You are listening to rinse f m
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Well hello Ben. Make love to me, my sexy fucker
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mummy, i need a jobby
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Please assume the Party Escort Submission Position
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You have reached the voice message bank for Chris Cohen. He isn't availbale right now. Please leave a message. Hurry, I don't have all day.
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