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MessageDownloadDate addedDate processed
Godbye my only friend
Download03/04/201307/11/2013
anyway this cake is grate is so delicius and moist
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Die, you monster.
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email me
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Oh yeah
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that is how dum you sound
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Hello, and Welcome to aperture science
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Screw the cake, the pie is real
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boltz where in walta
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Caffeine is probably the most frequently ingested pharmacologically active substance in the world. It is found in common beverages (coffee, tea, soft drinks), in products containing cocoa or chocolate, and in medications. Because of its wide consumption a
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kumkwats in samosa pants chocolate
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DO THE HARLEM SHAKE
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Caffeine is probably the most frequently ingested pharmacologically active substance in the world. It is found in common beverages (coffee, tea, soft drinks), in products containing cocoa or chocolate, and in medications.
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de ne moze
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You Have one new Text Messege
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Can I interest you in some delicious cake
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hello......did you miss me? You know i like you very much
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No one can resist the Boca Del Sol
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hibou
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Hello Monster
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It's really exciting
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Hello, you have mail
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Two locations worth visiting in Bolivia include the Salar de Uyuni and Lake Titicaca
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I will Kill you!!!
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I love waffles
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genial
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my name is kelly wilson
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hello I am susan
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Message from bleeptrack
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message from university
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Wellcome to Aperture
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I love you dani
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Nes loves you Dani
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Hello humans you are a failure
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You are listening to Somer Valley 97.5FM. This is Teen Spirit
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there is no you
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please like Valarapmon Movies on facebook
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Ain't nobody got time for that
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Dear Stuart Knight This is Aperture Science we are Glad to inform you that you have been accepted for our tests as your weight and height meet the requirements to help us test details of our location will be in the next email thank you yours truly GLaDOS
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this was a triumph im making a note here huge success its hard to overstate my satisfaction
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tonto
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Remember when you were covered in glass shards from that thing destroying my windshield on the free way? That was great... Happy Birthday.
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I like cake, because Hoes love cake. So do you.
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I am glados, you are nothing, filthy hobbits
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windows 8 is a bit full of bugs. But what is that importent for me? I'm GLaDOS
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Hallo i want to test
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Gott mit uns
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Feck my wet pussy hard with you huge dic
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bugnacki
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How you doing?
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ANSWER ME RUAN
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hacemos lo que hacemos porque podemos
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hello and again, welcome to the computer aided enrichment center
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Laughing Out Load
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Eef van der Gracht heeft je een cadeaumand gestuurd in Bubble Safari! Haal het op!
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hola kevin. sabes quien soy?. te acuerdas de mi?
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When life gives you lemons,dont make lemonade! GET MAD!
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just won this lol game. now i feel like a boss.
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hee hee hee
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I hate you, Gene You are only human and I'm higher mind and you said that you're smarter than me ha!
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If you are not willing to wait that long, please do not submit new messages in order to not make others wait longer.
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Who/what is GLaDOS? The main antagonist in Portal, a video game by Valve. See the Portal Wiki article on GLaDOS for more information.
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welcome to stereo molly
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AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH
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helo, my name is glados
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im GLaDOS from the portal game series
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I want to make the sexy time with your momma
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ola sou merry
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Happy Birthday, mom
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Happy Birthday mom
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Here is your birthday gift
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Dating back to the 17th century, Northern Ireland and Southern Ireland have been at war with other. England, comprised mostly of Protestants, colonized Ireland. Northern Ireland is comprised mostly of Protestants, but Southern Ireland is mostly Catholic
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what's up with the brownie?
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ALL YOU FUKING BASTARDS ARE GOING TO DIE
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okay team lets do this
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Welcome To Aperture Laboratories!
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hello and again welcome to narta centre
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marco you suck tick
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lavacavacanada
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yo dis is glados the number one girl
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this is bryson
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bryson
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Hello. You are terrible at both Annie and Lulu. You Monster.
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chelango my littel wango
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I suck at this game
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Hello Lucas I have finally found you
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stop dating violence
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hello bond
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Hello again to all my friends. Together we can play some rosk'n'roll!
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As a 17-year-old who had been shot by his grandmother pleaded with a 911 dispatcher to send help, the 75-year-old woman shot him again, a prosecutor told jurors in suburban Detroit. Just as Jonathan Hoffman "thought he was safe ... Sandra Layne walks up
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Brad is amazing you see
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You are receiving a telephone call. For the convenience of those around you, please acknowledge it. Failure to receive this call in time will result in an unsatisfactory mark on your test report, followed by death. You aren't going to pick it up? How rud
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You are receiving a telephone call. For the convenience of those around you, please acknowledge it. Failure to receive this call in time will result in an unsatisfactory mark on your test report, followed by death.
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You aren't going to pick it up? How rude. Your parents would be ashamed of you. I'm ashamed of you, and I don't even know you. No wonder nobody likes you. I find it hard to believe that you're receiving this call at all.
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Because despite your violent behavior, the only thing you've managed to break so far is my heart.
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You chose this path. Now I have a surprise for you. Deploying surprise in Five. Four.
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I wouldn't bother with a new message. My guess is that touching my beautiful retina display will just make your life even worse somehow.
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oh no. here we are again.... you know i hate you very much
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Need a dispenser here!
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Triumphs
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you are not willing to wait that long, please do not submit new messages in order to not make others wait longer.
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Hello and welcome to volcom
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We have a cake but you Are NOT having some
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connar is stupid
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hello josh do you want to play football
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hello your gay
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welkom into my room
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ArzGang
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Insult you
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hello, is it me you are looking for. Well, is it?
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FrenchAcroStreet
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Ah, doctorflipy, nice to see you again. Let's go to eat some cake.
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Hello and welcome to the teamsolocrysm channel. Have fun.
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one, two, three, four, Liver, right straight
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You have no right to play Halo 4
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Hi ich bin xXborn2k1llXx und wilkommen auf EpicCraft
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You've reach 450-448-6157. Please leave a message.
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Because ... you were made to be a moron.
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Because... you were made to be a moron.
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hallo buddy lets play
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this is pyromaster schaijk
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PHPUnit build FAILURE in 11 min
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Failure in 11 minutes
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You've reach 99346481. Please leave a message
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Hello, and welcome to Aperture Scince
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kebba
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i am extremely fond of suchi
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Bonjour, je m'appelle Jkunboy
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Tu est mort ?
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were only gifted people can be
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This is deja voo in the mix. enjoy the journey of progressive and electro house.
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Hello, my name is barry
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What do you want? Stop it. This is the wrong path. Help! AGHHHH!!!! A BIRD!!!!
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I know what makes them tik..... i know how to make the tiking stop
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it just seems crazy enough... you know? to have this kind of conversation about... loopholes and parallel universes and such. life seems already complicated as it is. sometimes I just wish we could count on something a bit more...
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Humanity is losing its geniuses. Aristotle died, Newton passed away, Einstine died, and i'm not feeling well today
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hello welcome to stay aperture labs nice lol
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Congratiolations on your outstanding achievement.
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Hello, welcome to the enrichment center. My name is GLaDOS. If you are reading this you have approximately five minutes before you are taken to the enrichment center. It is a nice place where you will have fun and eat cake. And spend the rest of your life
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The dumi is awesome
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rainbow dash is best pony.
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hello i am glados. how are you?
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Hello and, welcome to the Aperture Science computer aided "The Lady or the Tiger" Test Chamber
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nobody beat me
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I dont hate you benson. i simply think you are a cunt
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Make a U turn
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Recalulating
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Andrews always correct
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sam sucks big hairy black male balls
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to stay
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Kappa
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hello i am portal
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hello and thank you for calling sold my cell dot com.
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Would you fall off a cliff if you were inside a neurotoxin pipe? You Should.
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The cake is actually real, but i incenerate it hahahahahahahaha
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you are fired
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Jonah Freed
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Hello, My name is Robin Velazquez. I am a big homo.
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marcel
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Hello Alex, I'm GLADOS
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It never really bothered me before, but i just realised. My kinect is _always_ on. even if i cant see the window. its on... watching me... just... watching.
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Prova pure questo
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you are a monster and i hate you
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HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
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fsdf
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I , Glados , Welcome you back to the Aperture Science Computer .
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a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w w x y z. now I know my a b c's sing with me or die.
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hola soy glados y me pica el culo mucho, rascamelo.
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Do you remember me ? I'm GLaDOS and i direct Aperture Science.
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and then I riped off his ear and replaced it. With a potato!
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Hello Saku
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hello, are you going to the concert? guess what, so am i
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The very good carabao eats quietly. The very good carabao sleeps quietly. The very good carabao is clean. The very good carabao likes beautiful things. The very good carabao has many friends. Even the dog and cat are her friends!
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The very good carabao works hard. The very good carabao is helpful. The very good carabao is generous. The very good carabao is loving. That is why her fellow caracao love her. Her caretaker loves her dearly.The very good carabao is always happy.
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Welcome back, master
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Hi Weedam
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HELLO HOW ARE YOU? TRUTHFULY, I DONT CARE.
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charging
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Hello, Epos
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Pon tus portales donde qquieras pero no me molestes
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Klenfer, is it ? Welcome to the ... oh wait. There's someone else in this room.
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you sir are
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All they know is pain.
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I am chuck norris
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User entered your channel
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D'ont look at me!! Yet!!
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go acne?
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It's a fine day people open window they leave they houses
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Hey this is Bryan's phone. please leave a message
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Don't put that little idiot into my mainframe
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hello simon
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sorry I have no webcam
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Now it's your turn. In the box below, you will see nine stories represented. Some are fairy tales and some are fables. Your job is to read the fairy tales and listen to the fables. While you do that, write down what you think the themes and morals are. Y
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#action board
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What kind of dolphin is the best kind of dolphin. HeeBleepy
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Do the Harlem Shake
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HHS personnel are critical to the defense and protection of sensitive Department information systems and data. You will be well equipped to protect HHS by incorporating the information technology ( IT) security objectives learned in this course into your
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Hi Anonymous Welcome Back to your system
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hi cooltiex i love your videos
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hi cooltiex.
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hi you in a potato!
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it's ringing wake up idiot!
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it'ringing
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it's ringing
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Thank you for watching Nerds Night In
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Hola que tal
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iPhone 4
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Hello Shannon
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NO NO NO NO NO NO NO
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These are two families
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hello who is this
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helejhvljhvlajhadsvlasjhsgalasdkjgsalskjgsflfksahjgfsalsafk
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HELLO AND WELCOME TO TESTS...
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Bonjour je suis la pour vous tuer
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channel 4
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Batman's in the kichen, robin's in the hall, jokers in the bathroom, peeing on the wall
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I own you Wheatley
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hqw.ekfb
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Chell... is my daughter. I... I am Caroline.
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HI, i am GLaDOS
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good, im now a potato
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You have a message, Joey.
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My screen used to be very dark. But with the Electric Torch, I can see what I'm doing!
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hipnotix im calling you out-- leave the mixing to the professionals
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welcome to Aperture Laboratories
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You are only in testing stage two.
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Hello Michelle. You are my baby.
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hi this is a test message. thank you.
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Like, Share and Subscribe You Petty Human
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hellp o am gay
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Alert, Captain Danger.
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You Are really smart
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hello jaime, welcome to the world
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Por Favor Bordon De Fallar Muchas Gracias de fallar Gracias
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Oh Hi, you know you are a good test subject Tony you are almost as good as Chell
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Here's a Water for you
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lets play minecraft im GLaDOS
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im gonna play call of duty
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Hallo, mein name ist Glados.
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Do you want cake? I got some. If you come back.
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Hello. You have been choosen to participate in the international scouting science program. Prepare for destruction!
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hello and welcome to veedisk goon squade youtube channel
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The door status is now: public.
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The door status is now: private.
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I am GLaDOS. I love Elis. Because I am a Lesbian
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The Aperture Obstacle Displacer
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Go for the stun. with Stana.
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Hello! How are you.
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hello dorian, welcome
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Systems LOCK ON
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systems lock on
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I am sorry for the inconvenience
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helo and welcome to the swordtech robot guided enrichment center
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hello and welcome to windows operating system we will be glad to help you know your way around the computer press start
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Yahya
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I see, coming soon
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firemaster1337 is epic
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Jessica, You have an incoming call. Please answer it or I will replace you with another test subject.
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Dadasaw is the man, All hail the DADASAW.
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Denise, Put the zombie down and kiss your husband.
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Friends are NOT mortal enemies. Mainly because you do not have friends in science. Goodbye.
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I gather from the situation, and, of course, my limitless and unfathomable intellect, that you are here to kill me again.
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This is M 2 Scientifics
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hello is it your birthday? Then you would like some really good cake
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Hello How are you doing today? The portal device is just up ahead.
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808 beatz
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I am sorry. But Jacob can not get to the phone right now. He is busy testing... for me.... Please leave a message after I am done talking.
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I love you, you dangerous, mute lunatic.
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Hello future Corbin, I've been waiting for this. I planted a tree for you outside.
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Who the hell is dakjay anyways?
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We here at the Aperture Science Enrichment Center would like to remind you that life is a sexually transmitted disease
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hi thomas im glados
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cooper is a sexy man
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Oh you're back
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P-body
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If you are a non-employee who has discovered this facility amid the ruins of civilization, welcome! And remember: Testing is the future, and the future starts with you.
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Your mobile communications device appears to be ringing. But if I were you, I wouldn't answer it. It's probably somebody you don't even like.
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hello davis would you like some cake? fatty but any ways enjoy the test fatty
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this his a test
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welcome to MGP Movie Gossip Party, Starting in 3 2 1
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Hello Student
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Okay well come to the world of Science Walk out the door...
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HOWEVER if you ever DO YOU STINKING HEAR ME think that any productive, efficient, prosperous, did I say EFFICIENT! life could possibly be lived to its fullest potential by meandering around, teaching kids how to be in this GOD BLESSED WORL
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your mother is calling, you might want to answer that
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So you found me.
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Hello, you thought i didnt exist?
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If you'll excuse me for a moment, I hate to inform you that you have a phone call
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Well, look whos here. It looks like your little space core friend will not be going, SPAAAAAAAAACE but going DEEEEAAAADDD!!!
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Welcome to the aperture science Adam. Now Get out !
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You must die
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you are a gay cunt and should die in a hole and eat grass
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Incoming text message in your phone
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Incoming text message on your phone
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incoming Message!
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Incoming Message!
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Incoming message!
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Incoming phone call
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someones calling you
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Yes Kenny, a recent report showed that an american named Alice Keys
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That's YOU, That's how DUMB you SOUND!
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Answer the call, or else there will be NO CAKE!!!
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sdsdsdsds
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We will kill our ennemies. That will be fun.
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Aypierre harry thaek asdeuxpik
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That was a joke. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha.
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th
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Hello Charlie. Do you like playing portal?
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yesss
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Bonjour a tous, assayez vous confortablement nous allons commencer les tests.
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Pick up your phone. Come on, somebody trys to contact you. Hey ! Are you still there ?
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hello davis would you like some cake? you fatty. but any ways enjoy the test you fatty.
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dylan is fat
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Jajko
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gfhjck
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hello davis welcome to the test
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good morning davis and welcome to the test
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good morningdavis and welcome to the test
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Please help me to open the Dragon Market
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Hallo mathew
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Hello, and, again, welcome to the aperture Science computer aided enrichment center.
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Program is updating. Memory Stored. 10 Hours. Last entry says. Chell, the last test subject found before the rest came into stasis, has disabled all three of my cores, and, I am forced to shut down all my programs in an attempt to save vital information.
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good morning davis.
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Welcome to the bedrock level
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asdasdassda
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toadette is the cutest character
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I am verry stupid!
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Drop them.
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sujeto de prueba matias ven
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hey how you doing sorry you can't get through why don't you leave your name and your number and i'll get back to you.
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Max this is glados and i will kill u and ur kitty kat
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Skyly Kneedler
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You're the most stupid thing I've ever laid my eye on
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Hello Patrick, how are you?
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Please move quickly to the chamberlock, as the effects of prolonged exposure to the Button are not part of this test.
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hello, chell, it's been a long time.
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Bonjour petit homme vert
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Hola walas; te he estado esperando por muuuuucho tiempo
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hola sebastian soy GLaDOS
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bonjour kouiik est tres intelligent et il est drole aller le follow
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Hola walas; te he estado esperando por muuuuucho tiempo y al fin te encuentro en este hermoso lugar.
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oye chell sabias que lo del pastel es una mentira ?
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BAKER BY NIGHT BLADE BY DAY ALL BLADES ARENT WE
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It's the 80's
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Hi, kimberly stewart cannot take your call at the moment. Please leave a message at the tone.
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Danny is stupid
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noerwerwerwerwer
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Welcome to the Northern Highlands iBook Documentation!
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Today, I'm going to show you how to use our iBook documentation.
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To start, in order to navigate our documentation use can use a variant of multi-gesture finger movements.
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Say if you in a documentation page and you want to exit to the table of contents, simply pinch on the screen.
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From the table of contents you can choose what Week you want to view and where to be inserted into the chapters.
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If you want to view a photo gallery just pinch on the photos to access the full photo gallery. To view videos, click on the play button and pinch to go full screen.
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If you have any questions just ask any of the club members in the room.
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One this video is complete, slide your finger across the screen to start using our iBook documentation!
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There exists... a podcast
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Go travelling
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YOU CAN'T STOP EARTH'S MIGHTIEST
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Max i'm going to hate you!
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Could you tell me my balance, please?
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Testing the voice generator
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What are you doing? Are you trying to kill me?
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Hello, my name is immallama. Here are 10 reasons why you should subscribe to me.
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You Have One New Message
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Prude transmitting undecidability; Accelerator, orthographic; Irradiated reducibility; Brainwaves, alpacas raggedly. Delphiniums - conflagration; Metalanguage exiling restores; Visitors naughtiest one-sidedly; Reassuring flexed unrevealing. Shuffler, tr
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I'm doing a masters in law
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Hello i am Glados im not glad but im am Quite Angrey i would like to promte liam halsey to over take my job. Good Bye
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Sexual Harassment is any unwanted or uninvited sexual conduct towards another person
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It's Been Fun, Don't Come Back!
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Benn why so boring
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I can't get through at the moment
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The pain
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have you ever been a potatoe?
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Could I take your name and number, please?
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Have you got any qualifications?
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Hello there. ActionStar's robot here, and I have info for you. Click Like, Favorite this video, and subscribe.
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How much were you paid in your last job?
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The North
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Good crew it's cool :)
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Hello and welcome to aperture, now begin testing you useless pile of junk
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Through friends
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Dougie is gay.
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This is a test, I will make all of you wait a tad but longer to hear your sentence in GlaDOS's voice, so, muahahaa
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U mad bro? Trolololol you just have to wait *insert troll face here*
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What do you do?
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fdafdsa
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Other amount
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WHY!?
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If you dont leave me alone i will kill you right now
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System Failure! Initiating shutdown!
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thomas is a tomato
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We'd like to offer you the job
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irie journey
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Hello its been a looog time since I had a test subject, the last one murdered me and brought me back to life as Chell loved testing now, start testing you garbage or I will end your short sad life
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Can I take your number?
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handeled poral device
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hahahahahahahahaha
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what are you doing? stop it !
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you have selected glados has the computer defualt voice
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If you do not enter any email, you will not be notified and will have to check the list of processed messages regularly.
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grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
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grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
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hello, good day to die
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hello my name is glados and this is java
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JustDodge
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Languages
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hello i will explaint to you how we programmed boggle with java
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Oh there you are. Let's get started.
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and today
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I'm training to be an engineer
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I don't exactly know what that means
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Special Delivery
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Terrorists Win!
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H K productions
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that will do pig
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If you do not like Matthew, then feel free to participate in my latest test. death.
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if you do not like matthew, then feel free to try out my new test. death.
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your mom is awesome
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We've got a joint account
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Hei. Jeg heter Victor
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I AM THE UNIT
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I'm on holiday
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Message from SloDOS.Welcome the Slodos alpha !
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hello franl
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I need to charge up my phone
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The main system is corrupt. Please leave
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Minecraft is corrupt
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maybe you should whipe you ass
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hello class
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welcome to the enrichment center where your dreams can all come true. remember that some of the equipment may be hazardous.
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Hello! My name is Leva
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my name is leva
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Just over two years
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Does anyone understand how this works?
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Is there any way to speed this up?
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Have you got any ?
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stop lying
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I have my own business
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Hello? My name is Eve, how are you today?
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I'm not working at the moment
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hello, hollee
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I like your teeth. They go with a song. Do you know what that song is called? Black and yellow...
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ola xd
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hhhhhhhhheeeeeeeeellllllllppppppppppppppppp
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final stage
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welcome to the final stage
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sleeping cat studio
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So then. You. After all this time, you're back. Oh, did I never tell you how long it's been? Well...
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hello! I'm Glados
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how are you holding up, because i'm a potato
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I'm troll, me gusta kil a human
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there's a hole in the sky, through which things can fly
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i don't get it
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i want to have sex with you
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Where do you come from?
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qqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqq
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you rock andreas
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QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ
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Q Q Q Q Q Q Q Q Q Q Q Q Q Q Q Q Q Q Q Q Q Q Q Q Q Q Q Q
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"nano clone" finished. Initializing synthetic route shown on the HM263. 2000 years have passed. The Earth is left at the mercy of nature. The human species migrated to a new place. Now back to fix everything that their ancestors destroyed. Including them
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I work with computers
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hi everyone ,blow me
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Have a happy birthday Moni. You wont have a lot of those.
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I'd like to pay this cheque in, please
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I'd like to send this parcel to
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hi how are you??
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Lost credit card
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I like trainz :D
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I've come to collect a parcel
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I just don't know
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Let us test
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Alex, where are you?
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Free medical insurance
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Go be a nigger somewhere else
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black butler
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Did you fart
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Portal 2 valve
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My creator is valve
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This Cake Is GREAT!
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kats
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Portal Gun
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Wheatly you idiot
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Wheatly WHY
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HOW
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MAN
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you bum
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NJDBKJA
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ethan
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woman
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Aperature Scince
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Scince
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hsr
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im glad to ee you here
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Hello, I'm Glados, welcome to hell
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A First Class stamp
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WHy
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I love mommy and daddy
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I love mommy and daddy!
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MOTHER FU-
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Yo, Im GlaDOS
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I developed a solution to poverty, but then you killed me. So that's gone.
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