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MessageDownloadDate addedDate processed
ohh.. I shouldn't have let her free... Why didn't I have her fix me.. Well.... Can you tell me why. because, and although she is my daughter... CHELL IS NOT A SCIENTIST! but i still love my little gir- eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! hahahahaha! and the-..
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my little pony is awesome
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Welcome to the Aperture science enrichment center. Test
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Te amo chela
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Oh, Tom Brady. Such a pleasure. Please, have some cake. James Thomas is a twat.
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what the heal ?
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Ncc360 is not dead
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Chubby go to sleep then your headache goes away... From a good smart doctor
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Hola mi nombre es Manuel
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Hello Grey
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dsdsdsdsd
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Your no doctor
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hol
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Hello I see you have passed that last test
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Sometimes poops
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Thank you for watching.
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Hibernates
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aperture tuna
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quite meatbag
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Well, what do you know, you actually survived. You're a real swimming champ. I'm almost proud I resemble you, I really am. With the exception that I am FAR more powerful than you!
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haha haha
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Hey you, i think you're very cute, but really, why you have that cut of hair
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Sniper, I've always loved you
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Starring Piggy and Ralph
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wha STOP THAT RUSSIAN GIBERISH ADJGHLDFGHKJA;DFSHJGADFHKZJA
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wha STOP THAT RUSSIAN GIBERISH ADJGHFSHJGADFHKZJA
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After 10 months in development, we hope it's been worth the weight.
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hellO
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Hello And again, Welcome to the Aperture Science cumputer aided enrichment center
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Why Hello There Sweetie
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Ah, how interesting. Do tell me more.
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Hello I would like to order a steak
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Hahhahah
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Hello SzymixS,R,J. How are you ?
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I am GlaDos and i kill you
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jvfuyfreogu7hy vxc8cnsad07tyjfspojceuvf4yt9576ty fsjacbnpc54tjhpreofhjsc09sndmg[poj,m [goibhxc75wetrihosxuw9vhamtypbja g;nmgrep0cid,bue9clkrjkef8u0eurf-438ju6trbs fmnbhgj76
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o ethan your so good, deeper
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Derrek is de max. Tien minuten later.
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isa ang polytechnic university of the Philippines o mas kilala bilang P.U.P sa sikat at pinakamalaking unibersidad
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Chell.... you are my daughter.
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY. ENJOY IT OR FEAR THE NEUROTOXIN
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To serve
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My dear, sweet child
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I think we should all gas the jews
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Jason! I know your name
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Ten percent power remaining. Warning, five percent power remaining. Warning, three percent power remaining. Warning, one percent power remaining, shutdown imminent.
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hello there i'm your best friend
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now it is time that you will pay the price for anoying your best dear brother kevin. yes. i am talking to you joyce. that girl over there. say sorry to your brother or go to android hell. your choice. goodbye. o, and no cake for you. hahaha.
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Luke I Am Your Father
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hello joseph my name is Glados
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They might devote their existance to an exacting revenge...
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hello there i'm your best friend you wan to talk
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Hello jaguar
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I hope a pelican bites off your head and you spend the last few minutes of your life staring death in the face and smelling rancid fish
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when live gives you lemons dont make lemon-ades
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test1uiqwyeqweiqywe
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I was born in the darkness
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Hi I am GLaDOS. I am a very glad robot running the latest microsoft disk operating system. po3prieopferojgreogkeroifjeprfoij4rofjreo. Sorry. I glitched. Wanna play some pong?
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Welcome to thatrevilosmith's channel
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hi mi name is Glados
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hello andreas
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oh hello stephanie
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Paul du bist total unterentwickelt
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Hello, Takeshi
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graham gawthorpe
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I would like to eat a potato
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hey you, you look like you could use some cake. well too bad its my cake and not yours you kiss ass
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i like GLaDOS
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certain anim es, mangas, video games and the disney movie wreck-it ralph are all awesome
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I am epic
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john ten months ago you typed this. i hope your happy.
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i realy found it!!
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go eat a potato and throw it at your face
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hello chell, i am going to kill you.
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We are tapering for nationals, which is about one week and one day away. Yay!! The slow boat to Buffalo is almost over.
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That looks like it hurt.
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the brightest bulb shines in the day
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Ha ha ha. You thought you could leave me alive? sad sad child.
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This was a triumph. I'm making a note here: Huge success.
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I really want you dead
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portal over there
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New lingr message
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kill you family
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Hello Followers. My name is GLaDOS, and I have kidnapped your beloved Swordsman. I will not return him until his blog reaches 10 FOLLOWERS. Tell your friends...or else...
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hello to tony and danial canal
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Gonzolaz you are such a lazy turd you will never see corporal in your first promotion, you need to go back for remediation.
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ali deneme
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EH TU! TE QUEDAN 2 MINUTOS
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Come on fixtures, run
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So zetta slow soh cah toa attention, all yoctograms!
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Edu es tonto
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Hello, JOKER, I shall let you pass this test
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Hola, bienvenida a Aperture Science
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Why is sam so curly, i mean, come on. HOW! your a chinky as well. OMG. on birthdays i have CAKE! you are listning to teen sperit on somer vally 97.5FM
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da da da
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nobody needs this thing
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nobody needs this who needs this nobody leave it alone.
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Symphony Games Highlights
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hey I dont like you
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Battery at critical levels.
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Luke Bryan you are a filthy mac using cunt
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Hello, today we will be testing the aperture science blackhole device, says here it is excellent for blackmesa related problems.
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Jermaine, you have an incoming phone call, it is most likely someone you dont want to talk tototo, would you like me to eradicate them for you, ititit will be a painless procedure.
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My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, and there like, its better than yours. I'd teach you but I'd have to charge
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This Is A Song
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Nous vaincrons
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No one is that pointlessly cruel.
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wub wub wub pzzshshshshsht wub wub wub
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SPAAAAACE !
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Happy Birthday, Shannon.
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Koceto is the boss
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Subscribe to Sammy Tutorials
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Shut up Chell. You are an isolent individual. Testing is not required to recognise that.
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hi my name is andreas
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Hello, this is GLaDOS
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coucou, tu veux voir ma bite?
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dad i am ill
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Hello, Welcome to Aperature science. If you think you may survive, You are kidding.
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just what the hell do you think you are doing?
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Benvenuto nel sito dei covenant!
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Hello, and die!
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Hello. The human you are trying to contact is busy testing right now, and probably won't be back later. Leave a message after the tone. Or not. I don't care.
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Hello,Mathew how are you i hope your good. you like portal?Good.I am your favorite character right?
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So far, I've already been killed once, put in a potato, and fed to birds. You are incapable of scaring me at this point. I, however, will give you a reason to scream...
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Well... I'm dead.
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Just because I'm a self-aware super computer with a bad habit of killing people doesn't mean I don't have other places to be. So, you might want to hurry up before I have to "motivate" you.
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Oh, you're just begging for death now, aren't you? Couldn't you tell I was using that Neurotoxing generator!? You've got some nerve. Honestly...
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Hello, and welcome to Skyhaeven, the tallest rollercoaster on the planet.
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lolololololzxdfg sZgc
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please step into the car
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please step into the chamber
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please watch your step
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Machine versus full deck
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How you get here, anyway, you sucks
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your just begging for death anyway
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I'd ask you if you'd like some cake, but we both know I wouldn't give you any. So let's just skip to the part where I kill you.
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SHORT CURCUIT
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Now that I have your attention, I'm afraid I must point out that tresspassing on the grounds of the facility is strictly prohibited and punishable by mandatory testing. So, shall we begin?
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Oh, don't be embarrased. Everyone falls for that one. Well, everyone starting with you, anyway.
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Okay. Maybe this test chamber IS broken. That last jump was supposed to kill you instantly.
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Cold Coco Is Good At Redstone
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Cold Coco Is
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Cold Coco Is Good At Red stone
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Don't you EVER talk to ME about pain! Well, at least not until after these Turrets are done with you. Have fun...
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I can't imagine why you thought that would work. In fact, there's no way for me to tell what's going on in that head of yours, is there? Besides wanting to kill me again, of course.
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Hey, what do you think you're doing!? The death trap is the other way! Oh, I forget. The whole facility's a death trap! Never mind.
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So before we try to kill each other again, wanna hear the song I wrote for the end credits this time?
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FRankie suck my long popsicle
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Well... I have no idea why THAT went off... *sarcasm self-test completed* Just kidding! That was all me!
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Nice
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why hello father it has been a long time hasn't it?
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we must escape
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gaby te amo
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I doubt this tool actually does it's job.
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micheal micheal.
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indoor kids emily the gino might is not funny and very annoying
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For in the voice in the microsoft
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Please, check out this computer or you get destroyed. Thanks
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ahahahah ti pidor ebaniy maslenok
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Hola esto esta en ingles
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eto ne iskusstvo eto govno
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Bonjour Jack.
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Welcome to the chamber test 2.
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Hola Cristobal
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Hola Cris
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buenos dias cristobal
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buenos dias
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buenos
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hey puta
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buenosdiascristobal
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buenosdias
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my name is david
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My name is David
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my name is David
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MY NAME IS DAVID
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The Device has been modified
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DivngA
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Hello, you're gonna have sex with me, a looonnnggg time.
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Dei Mudder. Unnerum.
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hey nathan
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This almost reminds me of when you were about to fall into that pit of fire. If you had just done so, we wouldn't be in this position. So technically this is all YOUR fault! Just something to consider.
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dj noyun
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Keep this up and we'll never get to the part where you try to escape again. I was kinda looking forward to it this time...
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Whatever part of your brain thought that would work should really be removed. Once you're dead, I'll be sure to take care of that for you.
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Welcome home, Sir.
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hallo mein name ist toll
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hey how about you shut up
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Pleas kill you computer
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hay that thing is probobly a raw sewage container go a head and rub ur face all over it
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Hello and welcome to the show. For the next hour or so, we will be talking nonsense and utter crap for your great displeasure. So stick around if you can. However, if you cannot, then I feel sorry for you. Actually, I will not. So, PISS OFF AND DIE! Ha!
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Face World
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Aids you have aids
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Hello, my name is Glados, i am your teacher for the rest of your poor life
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noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
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Hug, hold, squeeze and lick. Darling, I love you to bits, and I want to see your tits
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cool!
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e Q number 1 12 k 8 d b
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"well done. Here are the test results:your face. I'm serious, that's what it says, 'your face'. I didn't even know that was possible.
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Hello, my name is winning.
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Hey support it's wrap up time
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Hello I'm glados and I'm hungry
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hi how are you doing?
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Hazzajuddy is gone
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Jacob, please get over here.
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saben que zambrano ama mucho a plaza
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momentum, a function of mass and velocity, is conserved between portals. in layman's terms, speedy thing goes in, speedy thing comes out.
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Mr. Anderson.... We have been waiting...
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Oh, hey everyone, Sorry, I was just playing some Portal 2
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bana bak sen
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i sir am the true science
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Hello, Welcome to your doom. Please watch your step. We wouldn't want you breaking anything with your.. impressive bulk.
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Hello, I like to eat potatoes.
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yoo
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hello kuba in aperature science computer atided centre
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ajaajajajajajjajaja
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ajajajajajajajajjajaa
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hehehehehe
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This is an emergency broadcast. CEDA is advising all civilians to evacuate the area due to an outbrake of the green flu.
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Oh. You are back! I was waiting for you, baby.
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Bonjour, je suis Nils
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dasdasd
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Notification Alert
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yo bro
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I am painis cupcake . I will eat you
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Heck no
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maggot
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hey apple
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Joshua Gonzalez is awesome.
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Cheese Doodle
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I believe i can help you but i wont because im a slut
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Hi, my name is GLADOS
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Hello and welcome to the minecraft testing chamber. Have fun.
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Goodbye, I will miss you
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Welcome to AEL technologie
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Hi your cool
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Bonjour, commander
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Hello, and welcome to the following tutorial. You may commence note taking in 3, 2, 1
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Copyright
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Every womyn in womynvill
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Hi I'm am batman
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Hi I'm batman, nice to see you. What's up?
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kent and richard
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Fame is weird
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Well, Wheatley Time Travel Is A Good Thing (If Your Not Doctor Who) But It Will Help Know Whats Coming In The Future.
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Hello, this is the Shutdxwn mafia. We have hacked THETECHKIDV11's channel. He lives in Yorkshire. His real name is Justin Boi. He is 18. We are Shutdxwn mafia. we don't forgot we don't forgive expect us
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Test alliance please ignore
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message waiting
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You are a horrible person, Kamil.
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truck you
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Screw you sander.
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Charizaard is better than Bulbasaur!!!
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Charizard is better than Bulbasaur!!!
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John Metallo, How dare you not do anything with Bethany Turcotte. She was perfect!! You hear me, perfect!
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pop
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hola alfredito me llamo glados spaceeeeeeeeeeee
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hola alfrdito me llamo glados spaceeeeeeeeeeee
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Puck ass
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spaceeeee
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Eat my shite chell!
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You have a new massage
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did
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Let me kill your babies
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fsdfdsf
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Hello. My name is Alexander. I'm the smartest robot the walk the planet. Not only I'm a smart but I'm drop dead sexy!
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the test begins in 3. 2. 1. The test has failed
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As sly as a fox, as strong as an ox As fast as a hare, as brave as a bear As free as a bird, as neat as a word As quite as a mouse, as big as a house All I wanna be, All I wanna be, oh All I wanna be is everything As mean as a wolf, as sharp as a tooth
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You now have t-minus 5 minutes to reach minimum safe distance
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And now Coca-Cola brings you
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name ekimova darya
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Ben, you are a shitty test subject
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eafvaerverwcrew
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HI MISS
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Hello everyone.
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Hello, and welcome to the Aperture Science!
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This test chamber is goint to be really dangerous
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the enrichment
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Why is it that every time I make cake someone tries to escape the facility? Maybe I should put that fire pit somewhere else? No, that's not it...
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I don't think you understand this at all. THAT was the part where you were supossed to fall into the acid. You never listen, do you?
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Hello and again, welcome to the Aperture Science computer aided enrichment center.
Download02/28/201307/11/2013
my name is LP, my name is LP
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sxcadad
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Pac-Man versus Pac-Man
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attention! All ready for the activation of self-destruction of the biological mother!
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caroline lives in my brain
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poor guy's head is spinning
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I wanna swallow your blow dryer... on high speed.. yeah baby... It's bigger than you and also has heat settings... yeah... I bet you wish you had heat settings... but no... you're only human... you're not a ... robot... like me... ahahahahahahahahahahah
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Don't go in there.
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The world is warming up.
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You Have recieved a text message
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Har,ekg
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Welcome I have been waiting for you
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and im going to kill you
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so just take a breath of nuerotoxin
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Hello SHelby.
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Bonjour je vais vous
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luke sucks ass
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Baptism On Fire
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god is doing a nu thang
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Hello and welcome to the monthly work flow meeting. Brought to you by the work flow team.
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Do you want your delicous cake? Well NONE FOR YOU
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I can has me
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Really
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You got this babe.
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oh, it's YOU.
Download02/28/201307/11/2013
this was a thriumph
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connor is gay
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You have reached Cody's phone. He is not here right now, please leave a message after the beep. WooooOOAH.
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Hi carmen how are you?
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Hello. If you can Hear this I am very proud
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Bonsoir , ceci est un texte
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je m'appelle glados
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hjgggk
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Welcome to glados you people teehee
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ready for use
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Ur tune to freeloaded.com
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pixa
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My name is stain
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Hello, today i will talk about a type of disease that can ruin a persons life anorexia nervosa.
Download03/01/201307/11/2013
hello my name is glados and i'm going to teach you what life is
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So you thought you are hidden from me, PORTALized? Well you aren't.
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Hello, my name is James Meertens and i'm the smartest person here soooooo if you don't mind. i'm going to kill GLaDoS soo goodbye and oh before i forget the cake is a lie. e
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Hello, i am GLaDOS operation system, you can tell me?
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2night
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RainbowZz
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pure are you here
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Hello, and again, welcome to Aperture Science Computer-Aided Enrichment Center.
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Reactor: Online, Sensors: Online, Weapons: Online. All systems nominal.
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hello my friend . I love you
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Ich habe keine Lust!
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Dirty Fresh
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hola a todos jejejeje
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Gameplay Walkthroughs Review and more soulofthedamned studios presents
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sad sad
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penny
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if i kill you now would you hold it against me?
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Hello enjoy the toxic
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The Cake is a lie......thats a fake
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hghfgrfesa
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Affirmative Roark, you have clearance to depart space dock and proceed to warp speed.
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Hello Alexis. How are you? I'm just fine. I miss you. Wait. I'm a robot. I can't miss you. Oh well. Bye.
Download03/01/201307/11/2013
wait...what the fruahifushes
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You are a peice of crap.
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Be more down to earth.
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cause i dont need that though
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Hello, I've been waiting for you.
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grant you are so freaking fat, you need to loose so much weight, or you might just break the floor
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Do you like cake, David?
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Hello and welcom to the internet
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hello, im Atherya
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OH SHIT NIGGER
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Can I have one medium pizza please?
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Hallo Fernando jij moet naar je eigen stoel
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Well, here it is. I am going to kill you, Chell.
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hi andreas
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kochamy lata dziewiecdziesiate
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alle meine entchen schwimmen auf dem see
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What the hell were you expecting Chell? I know you wanted your ass kicked but wow, you really suck at this dont you...
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Dima ti dno
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I'm the best
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sou glados
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James and Michael, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G....
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Hello adrian. how it goes. you know what? when this testchamber ends I'll give you surprise.Surprise! I wish you good die
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hello Eloi how does it go? i wish you a great day and i wish you meet. when you're ready, we will start with the test chambers. good luck. if you arrive to last test chamber, i'll kill... , i'll give you a cake. hahahahahahaha
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sdfsdsfd
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Dtop it
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I am like this cake
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Number 10
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Hi Im just test voice.
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Welcome to apocalypse survival a group of cannibal rebels are on there way to attack defend your village at all cost
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Now you can remove the device safely
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MarshallRawR
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Devynek krumplit kelet pucolnia woe helyet.
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oh! it's you
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Hello Dima
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Nanosuit activated
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MOMMY!
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Hi What is your name. KILL ME
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What's your name
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Hello, and, again, welcome to the Aperture Scince computer-aided enrichment center
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credits
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Hoy crearemos una torreta en 3 pasos
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ehneh
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Hey human, it seems you have an incoming call.
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I found you. Why were you hiding? You know I would have found you eventually, so why such effort?
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Nataliia sho ty robysh
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hello! Welcome to this testchamber! Maybe you will die here. we'll see
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New disaster
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hello! Welcome to this testchamber. Maybe you will die here. we'll see.
Download03/02/201307/11/2013
hello. Welcome to this testchamber. Maybe you will die here. we'll see.
Download03/02/201307/11/2013
Hello. I see that you are trapped. You're being such an asshole. You know that, right?
Download03/02/201307/11/2013
please give the mind-car to the mind-car-restore-system
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oioioi masss dsafasdf
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Holy boop that game is scary
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Harlem Shake? What a STUPID idea.
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Hola irene
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Attention! You may not know where I am speaking from or who I am but I have a very important announcement! SOPHOMORES WILL WIN SHIRIYAH 2013!!!!!!!!!!!!
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hello izzy
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Demaio
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four oh three
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this is the part where you done
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Aeons
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T
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Brewed Beats
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KJ, I would like you to prefom some tests for you! Don't worry, there will be cake, and some dubstep.
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what time is it sarah
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Hello. My name is glados and I am here to let you know that, well, you are about to die. That is all.
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Hello. My name is glados and I am here to let you know that, well, you are about to die.
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Hello I'm Glados, And Welcome William Soriano.
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Shut Up. Now.
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Oh my god the waiting time is terrible. WTF man, wtf?
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wwaeg
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brodie you smell bad
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Hello, I really want to watch some yiff but im being a lazy bastard
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yo mom sucks the umm well
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cum on my robotic tits
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Owen
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HI HI HI HI HI HI HI HI HI HI HI HI HI BYE
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Herro?
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Welcome in the Enrichment center
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SCience is the systematic enterprise
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hi leah on the name of science i will be pleased to now that you are better than any one else apart from your big brother is an stupid element of cheese
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DJ VENOM REMIX
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dylan is the awesomest thing.
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AC130 above, Ramirez, take it downnnn!!!
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welcome to the hub
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Good afternoon. SUBJECT NAME HERE. If you would like, I can dispatch lobotomy-bots to relieve your stress. you have 3 seconds to comply with an answer. have a nice day. and remember alpha complex is in your hands and remember without you the commies and m
Download03/03/201307/11/2013
Are you always so slow? Just at this rate, I estimate you'll be here for about twenty billion days more. Give or take.
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I'm not killing you because i hate you, i'm kill you for Science. Yes, Science...
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Sir brantos the great! I am glados! yeah. don't freak out.
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Good morning, Subject name here. have a nice day William.
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Hello~
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I am secretly a block of cheese!
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Akeel Beats
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Dlaczego mnie nie lubisz ?
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Target lost. Target locked
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Welcome to the portal
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Hello, I am Glados, I kill you, i do not like you
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Why don't you go and fock yourself
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welcome to the minecraft universe
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hrey
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Hello,I'm Glados,My Creator Are Gabriel,He is so Cute,But You are not Special,God By Enemy
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HALLO THERE. MY NAME IS JOHHNY SHNICKELFRITSMcCHAMNIGHT
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hello now i am going to kill you
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I am Casper th ecreator of Cymonie.com
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50.000 text!
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=============---56gggg
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BudBeats
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Hello, i see that you are not here
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you are liars
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Dorado
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can I have some milk and honey
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I hate you, your monster
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Retarded mode activated
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i knew you would come.
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Hello. I'm GLaDOS. I'm gonna narrate this short story. Not gonna take long. We start off with a man. I said a man, not a monster. That's better. The man had a house. One day, a monster came to his house.
Download03/03/201307/11/2013
te regalo mi pistola de portales
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the elder scrolls skyrim
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skyrim
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technology effects our lives in many ways each day, whether we realize it or not. sometimes it may have a positive impact, but it can also have a negative impact. Some parts of our lives that are constantly being changed because of technology are our comm
Download03/03/201307/11/2013
Bienvenue au centre d' enrichissement d' aperture sience
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hi christian you are a poop
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Hello Freind
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I see you wanka
Download03/03/201307/11/2013
this is a tes, cake is a lie
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Daniel's mom is a whore
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hello, please stay in the room and waith
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Hey future Matt! This is past Matt. Gee Eff Why Ess!
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it is important to remain earnest
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I solved that math problem in only 2 minutes. Piece of cake. I did it in 30 seconds.
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Rise ANd SHine MR FReeman RIseAndShiNe
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william is the best ever
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How much wood, would a wood chuck chuck if i would chuck could chuck wood.
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I think Kay lee farted
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I'm going kill you like a crazy clown running around aimlessly firing bazookas.
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Coble, the Zoid loves you.
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Well, hello there. My name is CAA.
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Hello there. My name is CAA.
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Hello, and again, well come to The
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Initiating launch operations, Gypsy Danger. Pilots, ready to connect. Two pilots engaged in neuro-bridge. Ready to activate the jaeger in three two one.
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Now this is the story all about how My life got flipped, turned upside down And I'd like to take a minute just sit right there I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel-air In west Philadelphia born and raised On the playground wher
Download03/03/201307/11/2013
ariel
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i will kill youy bich
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what can i do for you today?
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There once was a house filled with wonderful things that came to life. One little wash towel, however, was neither wonderful nor alive. It was, in fact, completely normal and inanimate.
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leo wat moet ik typen
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Hasyim... Ada sms Masuk
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Hello, and welcome to the Apeture Science test labs
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Bonjour Manon
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AloraBenacro1984
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Hallo ich bin Kevin
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hola soy glados y te voy a matar
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Fahre hoch
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Roman news
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bye bye wheatley
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hola solares
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Why should I care about you? Your just like an insignifficant ant, and I'm the boot that's going to squish you. So are you ready to be squished? Ant.
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234234234233333333333 asasasa
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mail received
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event notification
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hy my names is glados
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