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MessageDownloadDate addedDate processed
ImmenseFox
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Subject: Document Creation Notice from PerformanceManager (Summary) ...
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Happy Christmas Joe, A.K.A test subject number 874593246755778653
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Hola k ase
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Hello Vladumir
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Good Bye Vladimir
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Hello Vladimir
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hello there my name is daniel
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Your every utterance is an anguished cry, nay, desperate SHRIEK, for help
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helo i am th best and you will die in neurotixins
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helo i am the best and you will die in neurotixins
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Hello Maddie
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Clemoooooooooooooo7
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Laur5a Daniela Arias Salazar
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Laura Daniela Arias Salazar
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Oh wow Your Are A Big Moron Stupid moron Nevyn i want u To Die
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It would be nice if you could proceed to the route i highlighted for you
Download02/15/201307/10/2013
Hello, if you were expecting Jan then im
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Hello, I am Glados, I'm an assistant to Jan, the supreme overlord of the multiverse, please leave a message after the tone.
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This was a triumph. I'm making a note here, HUGE Sucess
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I am glados. The largest collection of intellect, my processing powers are greater than the total processing power of all the human brains on this planet combined, you are insignificant, you are nothing more than an annoyng insect
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All kneel before Jan's supreme brain.
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Gathering data from all objects in the universe. Processing logical o
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Gathering data from all objects in the universe. Processing thelogical outcomes of all events, done.
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Gathering data from all objects in the universe. Processing logical outcomes of all events, done. I now know and understand everything, i shall now conquer the multiverse.
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Hello again Master Jack
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I want to smash wheatly
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You need to bring something stronger then homework this time
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Hola a todos los negros de la llamada
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There was even going to be a party for you. A big party that the entire crew was invited to. I invited my best friend, Saskia. Of course, she couldn't come because I murdered her. All your other friends couldn't come, either, because you don't have any ot
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Oops. Sorry, that was my fault. I hope that won't put a damper in your testing. Hee hee.
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Hello Jimmy, what are you doing here today?
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If I were capable of expressing hatred, you would be the target. I hope you are happy.
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You will atone for your sins, and when you die you will thank me for allowing you to!
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do me, chell
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You Funcking Pokemon
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I HATE YOU CAT MARIO
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Happy Valentine's Day
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WELCOME TO ROOM CINTA UNTUK SAHABAT
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SqN czemu jestes debilem
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Hello Dinlenger.I'm Glados.i want to destroy your minecraft account.So you really read this 180 pages of licence user agreement?Or you will be killed by dchaus from TheCyberMine
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Hej!
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pidora otvet
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GMod
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Hello, welcome to appurature labs, We hope that you can succeed in the testing we are about to make you do. Good Luck!
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tu es une pure merde
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this is game craft
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Welcome to the biscuit aisle
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First blood!
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hello and welcome to the continental hotel
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hello connot
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welcom sir
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In their tongue he is Dovahkiin. Dragonborn
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you are sooo wierd
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Ora il mio
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Happy Birthday Andrew! Welcome to my lab!
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Welcome to the science department... try not to kill anything
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If you are going to destroy our test chamber press 1 if you want to wath My little pony Friendship is magic press 2
Download02/16/201307/10/2013
hellow and welcome too the apeture siencs computure for all of your needs. if you need any thing just clik on the windows button. i coukd recomend minecraft or leag of legends
Download02/16/201307/10/2013
Mahmaticals why you so crazy about math? Monkey why are you a monkey. Fin why do you mine alot?
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you still have unread message
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nothing personal
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HEnry IS AMMMMAZING
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Abo h
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So, how does it feel to be immortal?
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i am very stupid
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Hello And Welcome To Macbook Air Owned By User 103576. Have a nice day.
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I am the sexiest robot of all
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olle hansito chupa el pico
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Hello, its name
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Hello. Wiz Bro Productions Thanks you for watching their videos on youtube! They want you to tell your friends about them and subcribe to them if you haven't already! Thanks!
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ljh
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Warning. Self destruct sequence initiated. Approximate time: 10 seconds until self. destruct. 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 0 Boom
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You will die tomorrow
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Well here we are again. It's always such a pleasure. Remember when you tried to kill me twice? Oh how we laughed and laughed. Except I wasn't laughing. Under the circumstances I've been shockingly nice.
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Mitchell. We have selected you to be the next aperture science tester. We noticed that you have the most knowledge on how to make cave jonsons daily lemon granade for his daily rage! It will be nice seeing you around the office Mitchell
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HERRO
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Hello Mitchell Burton, I am Glados, I am here to cure your demented back.
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What the hell is with you Chell? I mean, making out with the G Man? Wrong....
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I am GLaDOS nice to meet you, Skyrim is a cold land and I like it.
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I'm a tree...come be a tree with me.
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Sup everyone
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cameron. You suck
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Sup, how are you
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welcome to aperature science labolatory center
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hello kuba
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Genetic Lifeform and Disk Operating System
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Cyderick on the Beat
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hello Trey i am your friend
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Thank you sir , see you later!!
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okay,i am a one big ugly(for you ) deadly robot,why dont you just kill me?by the way,you are a shit.
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okay shit
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Here we are again its always such a plesure
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Hilvaria B1. CHAMPIONS!
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Hej you love me
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Greetings inhabitant of this community. We ask U to join us, if not, you will be assimilated forcefully into our collective.
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Pick up the phone you moron
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Oh, ESCORP is very nice...well....was very nice.
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Oh, hello again Tyler. I see that you are doing well today. May I ask you a question? Why won't you Just die? Like really, Are you immortal? We should test for that...
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Tyler.. you call them friends? Look at them, look what they do. They are not friends, they are ennimes, they want to destroy ESCORP and you. So.... You have to destroy them first.
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ESCORP? What is ESCORP?
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zgxcuzafcusbahcfiahckws
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Good morning Tyler Fallorina
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Oh it is so good to see you Alexis. How have you been?
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Hier is een Speciale Levering voor je boerderij. Stuur je mij Cadeaumunten terug?
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why are you so fat?
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hello and again, welcome to be aperture science, computer encihment center
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welcome to superfly studios
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Space core, you never go to Space
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prience of ruins is dead, wow, so suprised!
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i like playing minecraft
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FFA
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jhdehjdthdt
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hello im glados from portal subcribe to modzombie ones channel
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Yes, master. If you want. At your service.
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I'm sorry, but you will die!
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Welcome, Alexander !
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la le li lo lu la le li lo lu la le li lo lu la le li lo lu la le li lo lu la le li lo lu la le li lo lu la le li lo lu la le li lo lu la le li lo lu la le li lo lu la le li lo lu la le li lo lu la le li lo lu la le li lo lu la le li lo lu la le li lo lu
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The wait time, is too damn high. Looks like I'm a Bad Luck Brian today;
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Well hello again. And welcome to ESCORP. Be carful, the walls will kill you, the floor will kill you, the fish will kill you, the drones will kill you, and most importantly.... I will kill you.
Download02/17/201302/17/2013
oh, it's you. it's been a long time
Download02/17/201307/10/2013
You have an S M S!
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Space Attics are playing, now
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Hello, friend!
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I think that you should stop using the internet
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Congratulations. You've successfully blown your chances of leaving this place alive.
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Hello, and prepare to DIE
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I can't fly!
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welcome back, test subject 1195730173
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Aracoon
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j p klammer i love you
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Joe you have a text message
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Joe
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Hi everyone, this is a second video about GPR - GPR data processing
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This is a call for a fundamental reform in physics
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Hello it's been a long time
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Message: " let's make some cupcakes" from: Pinkie Pie to: Rainbow Dash
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Let's make some cupcakes... to: Rainbow dash
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Let's make some cupcakes. to: rainbow dash
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Chell, he's a maroon, remember
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You are a moroon
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You know, i truly, honestly, thought you'd changed
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Hi, i'm selfish
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I'm selfish
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The subject you are trying to reach is currently testing. If he survives, he will return your call. For science.
Download02/17/201307/10/2013
Greetings, It appears you have attempted to reach Sam Peto. He is currently not available. Please leave a message if necessary.
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We also do cupcake!
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Mi nombre es Glados, Soy el nuevo sistema operativo de aperture sience
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Let The Testing Begin
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I wanna phuck you every day and every night
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you ahve reached your destination. eat some pie.
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Hi, I am Glados.
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Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi.Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi.
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I love anal sex
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you are to be terminated immediatley
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Screw everything you know, I'm Effing Glados
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From Richie Steamboat on Twitter: I see that Michael Cole has the WWE App. You all should have it too.
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No i am not
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hi do you like waffles?
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tttretdsgdfgsd
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You have a message. Please do not open until the end of this message and after the neurotoxins are released. Thank you and have a nice day.
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Hello, Gabriella. I just want to say that I hate you.
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Welcome to Still Aftermath Quick Cast
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bonjour je suis votre prof
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Shut up and work.
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Shut up and work
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pidoras
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Daan van den akker is een jaeger
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This was a triumph, I'm making a not here: HUGE SUCCESS.
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hello whats up
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Game is started. Win. Lose
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Loni Grant is a complete bim boe
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hello, and welcome to the black mesa transit system. this automated train is provided with security and convienence for the black mesa research facility personell
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all you hear is radio giga
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A fire alarm has been initiated, please evacuate the building
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Halo
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jamiryo
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you stink jamie
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it's been a long time. how are you been
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Sail away with port au prince
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I am compelled to kill the wicked.
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We both said some things that you are going to regret
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Oh, I HATE you
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you all suck
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Its not like I wanted To kill you, I just wanted the tests to do that for me. Well, I must go, enjoy the test.
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Hello there. Welcome to your imminent death. Please keep your hands and feet inside the container at all times. I hope you have a nice DEATH!
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Hello Jacob Phil-Ebosie, we need to have fun with science
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This is a slim rocka production
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Hello Cupcake,Zaek,Alex,Fluttershy And Mellie.
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Hello, I am Dante and it is my youtube channel. Suscribe!
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are you still happy
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let's be friends
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so glad to meet you here
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Evacuate the Enrichment Center
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Dear future self, remember Logan. The Corporation must continue, no matter what. If he is gone, make it without him.
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Let's learn microsoft office 2010 today!
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I am henrik Ibsen
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We are Anonymous. We are legion. WE do not forgive, we do not forget. Expect us
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I love you mom you are awsome
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please, shut up
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I am a pancake, hear me blather!
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District 1
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One Two Three Let's Go
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You Have A Text. Press Enter To Read It.
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Hello thank you for calling. You have reached the voicemail for George. Please leave your name, callback number, and detailed message and your call will be returned as soon as possible. Thank you, have a fabulous day! it
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Hello Ramses
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hello Jordan
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you know, if i were to reveal portal 3 now, it would ruin the surprise. oh. wait. i already did. aw well,l it probably wasn't that important.
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How have you been David
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hello callie
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You should look away
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iNSaNiTY (frost mix) Everything is said and done Everyone has had their fun Time to make my exit from this Fairytale My departure was foreseen From the very beginning Assume life of insanity Sayonara Hello, Nice to meet you you seem familiar
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Hello, this is Lindsey's voicemail. What are you?
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Ever wonder why we're here?
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Hello,play Black ops 2 play friendly ceep safe en take youre position by the hardpoint
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I Am Dark Sider My First Video
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My Name is GLaDOS, And I Am Ganna Be Your Companion In This Journey Of Fun
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Welcome To The CAVE, Utsav
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wow wow wow wow wow
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Hallo my name is George
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Turn left at the next intersection. You monster.
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Hello welcome to apture science
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deeejaaay lastkiller
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I just scanned thousands of lines of code while you were reading this sentence. I browsed through millions of possibilities of optimizing a single line
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I just scanned thousands of lines of code while you were reading this sentence.
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Oh how we laughed and laughed, except I wasn't laughing
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Welcome mister smith
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The Cake is no lie! i love you
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Count Magnus Wolfram, what an interesting name you got there. Your parents must have loved you. Oh parents, .... did I hit a weak spot?
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Hello, and welcome to the aperature science enrichment center.
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Warner Brothers
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We need to find Lara Croft and kill her!
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Dj Black one
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Your Message has been sent
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Battery Low
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The Polito form is dead, insect. What is it you fear? The end of your trivial existence?....... I am Shodan.
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Hello people of machinima
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hello lachlan
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This is Sparta!
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ITs my terretory now!
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Isis is committed to the well being of all employees. At the conclusion of your year, cake and grief counseling will be provided.
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im going to kill you and eat that cake without you
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Hello William, this is glados from aperture science labratories and i will kill you tomorrow and there's is nothing you can do about it
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Hello, It is such a nice day.
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pie is awesome please trust me!
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CHUJ
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kide kide kide kide kide to jest chuj
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i will do it
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If you are reading this.. Good!
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Is this a potatoe?
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Screw this crap, i'm gay and i like to fart on pineapples while wrestling an alligator
Download02/19/201307/10/2013
Screw this crap, I'd rather fart on pineapples while wrestling a bear
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Screw this crap, i'd rather fart on a pineapple while wrestling a bear
Download02/19/201307/10/2013
Austin Goodnight, your settlement with the BOA Overdraft Litigation comes to three dollars and 78 cents.
Download02/19/201307/10/2013
Fudge. The power went out. What a shame. Maybe some turrets can light up the chamber for you.
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In order to get your merit badges, you must find them. They are hidden somewhere in this church. Well, actually, my Aperture Science Enrichment Center. You have no portal guns, only your wit. Good luck.
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Congrats. You have found your badges. You saved scouting. But sadly, you are outside of the testing facility. So i must say, by Aperture Science Testing Law number 76, you must go back now or face immediate termination.
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You must go back now or face immediate termination. Wouldn't THAT be a shock to the saviors of scouting. Just go.
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Welcome back Chris!
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hello my name is julia. how are you today?
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Hello Again Center Welcome To The Enrichment
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Mr. President, Friends and Fellow Citizens: He who could address this audience without a quailing sensation, has stronger nerves than I have. I do not remember ever to have appeared as a speaker before any assembly more shrinkingly, nor with greater distr
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Hello, and welcome to my unforgiving series of cruel tests that are bad.
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cccccccccccccc
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I am Dengeki Stryker, a robot made to help the human race fight against crime and threats to humanity. I hope we can get along and do this task with appropriate cooperation and friendship!
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I will kill everyone you love
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Hello Jennifer Roy
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Hello my minions.
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Welcome to my youtube page.
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Hi, You monsters
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tommy sucks
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how is this happening to me!
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sadsa
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hinga dinga durgen
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hello my name is sil
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greetings this is the glados voice generator. I am ready to assist you in your search of cake, which is not a lie. Please when you are ready, let us begin!
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Hello, marco, i think you are stupid
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Good.
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of course you're cute
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Hello, (subject name here)
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hello there, you killed me, so I hate you, prepare to die you asshole
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no stop that
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I am a robot. You cannot defeat me/
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Hello Hannah, Prepare to die.
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helow welcome to apiture
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portal two is better
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Add Neighbors
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hello guys. i am doctor illingsworth of detroit city. thank you for hitting play on this video. i am very sick right now and thus have employed this robot voice in order to communicate. firstly, i would like to send a big thank you to the city of chicag
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hello guys i an a cool robot
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hello subjects welcome to the institution
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aasas
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Radio Gearnet
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Gearnet
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Hello I am Platinum Dice so SHUT THE FUGE UP!
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well you found me congradulatios
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congradulatios
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You are now dead
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Are you fat and out of shape?
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penosos produccions
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Welcome, Chris
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Mr. johnson. Mr.Johnson I don't want this...sir
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Hello Ryan. Welcome home.
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emememememe
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Hello, and welcome to the aperature science computer aided enrichment center
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Yes. Please read all of my posts in the voice of GladOS.
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NEIN NEIndgskdhc
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ich bin glados
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Poo hole
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Welcome to Arbollax
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Hello Gareth
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FUK YOU BTCH
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Hello there,Its been a long time....
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Talk to me
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It's been a Long Time. How have you been?
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all that jazz
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You were never meant to be born. But that's okay, because there is still cake.
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drop and give me ten
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Hello Conor
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Welcome Jacob Thomas Jones. Are you ready to start testing?
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So Brett, how's it going? Because I'm a potato.
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hello I will kill you now
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lel
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welcome everyone
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I actually love you
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I will make you walk the plank, I HATE YOU WHY WONT YOU DIE
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hello my name is Louis
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Hello, my name is Louis Madre. I find my brother very gay.
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Extreme Tech
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frooby
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as you live you die
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Neurotoxin generators activating in 3... 2... 1...
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Wow you suck
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igor chujov
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Pie and pie
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That is not your son! I dont know who is he. I am Robert Ryed
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te quiero
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SMS soobshenie
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Hello Who Is there?
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to comple your task you must kill me!
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Hello, welcome to the World of Minecraft, you are operated down as class files, please stand back and enjoy the music haydn
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Chell...Its time to end it all...
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efw
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hello and welcome to the test chamber, mazafaka!
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Did you know I shove potato's up my ass?
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Damn you! Damn you all to Hell!
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Hi, how are you? Because I'm a POTATO.
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AWWW YES.
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Hello Alex, in 10 months, 16 days, 17 hours, 20 minutes, merry christmas!
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Testing... Keep testing
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Thor's daughter
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What is the answer?
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Welcome to Windows 7
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Data saved
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shut up you you dumby
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Syestem online
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The mix was conceived in the mind of a mischievous monkey for a very beautiful mermaid.
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sorry i cant let you do that
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I hate you so much, Ax.
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Atention you have an incoming call. You should probably pick that up.
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Welcome to Apeature Science!
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Hello, and again, once again
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cvxvx
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Oscar you are a monster
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Here is a/some Special Delivery for your farm. Could you send me back some gift coins?
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warren come down and eat your meatballs before they get cold
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HI. I like pie
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Welcome To Distorted View Daily. You Monster.
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three, two, one!
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Dancing with the devil under a pale moon light.
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I ate you
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come on you think the cake is a lie IT IS.
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Translates to This Pen is Simply Amazing
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Oh. Hello. The next test involves buckets.
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there is going to be a test. You probably won't pass.
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Can't tell if joking
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Attention residents of Cloudsdale, the zebras have commenced their attack on Equestria. Everypony trot the the local vault, this is not a drill, I repeat, this is not a drill
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It's been a long time hasn't it, Doctor Freeman.
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Attention residents of Cloudsdale
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Attention residents
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why I have to do minecraft with you
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maybe or maybe not
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Everything Went Better than Expected
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Sexy Sexy Sexy Sexy Sexy Sexy Sexy. I Love DeeMan He Is So Sexy And Awsum
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this was a truimph
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This is your mother calling, please pick up your phone
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Apreture ScienBuilding a Better Tommorow
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Hi,i like you.
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Welcome to h 2 m c 3 dot com
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there was a just little problem
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renzo
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We provides SEO Services at very affordable prices and with quality of links but with guaranteed results by vishsoft solutions , you can also visit our website at www dot vishsoftsolutions dot com
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Hi, My name is GLaDOS
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You are the worst test subject yet.
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You are the worst test subject yet
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wwelcome to aperture sciense inovations
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the been a long time
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laboratories
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sciens
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i hate you both
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yolo you mother
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Hello there and welcome to the gobber, enjoy your stay
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minecraft!
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Hello, Sausage or should i say CHELL
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Hello My NaME iS gLADOS
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You had it all The day you told me Told me you want me I had it all But let you fool me Fool me completely Yeah, I was so stupid To give you all my attention Cause the way you played me Exposed your true intention And one day I'll ha
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Hello Raf good morning i love you
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I'm bored. We should do something fun.
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Hello, Oscar, and welcome to the Apeture Science Laboratories.
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Hallo ich bin Glados willst du mich besuchen kommen ?
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Where am i What are you doing ?
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You're all going to die down here
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Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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Good morning sleepyhead.
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Measurements are not precise and have a margin of error. The measurement we arrive at could be slightly less or more than the actual measurement. Industries, such as those that make small parts, generally give measurements with this error included, based
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Hi and again welcome to the Apertur Science laboratories
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coucou maxime
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Just so you know, Rickin loves you a lot more
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ray cristal
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tits, I'm getting hungry. when will pizza be here?
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take a log on your ass
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hello I'm from mexican restuarant did you want toothpaste on your taco
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Hello Dr Freeman
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Hey Human, your telephone is getting an call, rigth now...
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welcome to your pc mauryans
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the cake is great
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hello dominic
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If you are not willing to wait that long, please do not submit new messages in order to not make others
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Congratulations; you made it through another day! Your record for longest amount of consecutive days without dying has reached a personal best. Well done, you.
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Hello, SUBJECT NAME HERE cant pick up SUBJECT'S SKYPE HERE because SUBJECT NAME HERE is busy testing with the Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device. Please wait in the Chamber lock until SUBJECT NAME HERE picks up his SUBJECT'S SKYPE HERE.
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I need to sleep with you
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Welcome to Black Ops 2
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Hi, how are you Conny?
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It is hard
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Happy Birthday to you. Happy birthday to you
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who are you? what are you doing? stop it
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Igmantis and Freeemu are my closest friends.
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Hi, and welcome again, litte caroline
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I envy your pathetic life.
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dj mrain
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Your not a good person you know. Good people don't end up here.
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Come on
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bring it on
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renata hello, I'm GLaDOS I will kill you without you in the blink of an eye, the truth is no longer in play, remember .. I'll kill you ...
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CHURCH, I'm your best friend, that's what I am to you, and we will be together 'till the part where it's over because we are brother and not red, brothers and not red. You know tucker thinks he can hang with you but i'm your friend and theres no other!
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shut up, sean.
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Well, have you gotten her yet?
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Nose
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Just a reminder for the your son Zachary has a Saturday school on 2 13 20 13 Just a reminder
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Chelll
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wake me up
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HELLO Thank you for contacting American Field services incorporated and united auctions.Our Normal Business Hours are from Monday threw Friday 8AM-5PM & Saturday from 10am to 3 pm Eastern standard time.If this is am emergency please hang up and contact th
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asfdasd
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do i just tipe
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I'm playing as Chell,the test subject who likes to test.
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mmmmmmmbooty
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your all weak
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why you so weak
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It's Been a Long Time
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You have got to be kidding me!
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Hi there. Done with the testing ? Let's do some more
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Hello Stephen ! How are you today ?
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Welcome back kikoolol. Not done yet with testing. We'll go on until you die. Or get that cake. Whoops, it appears I accidentaly released neurotoxin everywhere.
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D J MANoo
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don't bother picking up the phone. No one want's to talk to you anyways. I'm just sating that you are a horrible person and no ine cares. that's a fact. the test result say so
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abbi smells
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Shizu-chaaaaan! You monster. I love you. You're my monster. Come and try to do me. Try to hurt me. I will love it, you monster. Come and kill me. I'll be waiting, Shizu-chan. Love, Izaya.
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For sience you monster
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i really hate you. but i'll be nice, and i WONT turn you into a vegeteable. instead, i will kill you. slowly.
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you have message, mr. osoba
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Potatoes are tasty
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Play the game for the game's own sake
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Online services
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Congratulations you have completed my test........ Now..... You DIE
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Welcome Stee Diamond Miner. This room is made to look like your house. in front of you is a portal device. shoot 2 portals and go in one and come out the other. Thanks for watching, like and Subscribe.
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hi i am michael
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Ha ha, Wheatley. You are no match..for. AAAAH
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I live in Ufa and I work in bank
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Put a keep are you
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welcome to nowloading podcast
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eu sou glados
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Vai]
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Now a rainbos tale isnt quite as nice as the story we know about sugar and spice
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Llamada entrante en proceso
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The following samples songs from torrents
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ellen, i dont hate you, make me a sandwich
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hello. and welcome to the apeture science computer-aided enrichment center
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Scanning for durian. Durian located.
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Respect Everyone
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see you later mom
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J and D from jandanova are the best people in the world and you should go subscribe to them
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Hello,how are you this is cooooool!
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die all
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hello sara
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You are gonna die.
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miiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiep
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witaj kuba
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Hello, Is anybody there? I can hear you. Dont try to run.
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hybrid theory
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Hello bryce how are you doing?
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you [SUBJECT NAME HEAR] must be- woaaaahh!!!......so...your nos a subject..sorry forgot -ahh! wait why am i glichy!?! khfdsfhh you'll! jgfsbhh! never! hyfdkkfdbjhgfb! beat! jhfszfkj!- the test chamber.............npw lets go on
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