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MessageDownloadDate addedDate processed
Hello. My name is ElKornacio
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hallo mein name ist glados
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the cake isn't a lie
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How have you been? I've been really busy being dead. You know... After you MURDERED ME!
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hello nigge
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Soul is a potato
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heya boy
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Security breach detected.
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I don't like this
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Security breach detected. please remain calm your apprehension may cause some itching, redness, and extreme pain.
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Welcome to this Video. My Name is GLaDOS and you are probably a random Person. Have Fun watching before my Turrets shoot you.
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DJ LAUTARO
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Sending Test Subject to- MARS. Sending to Mars Aborted. Sending Test Subject to, Mexico, 1052, AD. 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 7, 9, 11, PI, 3, 2... 0. goodbye
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Hello. You have reached Warp Dev.
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Hello. You have reached warp dev.
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You have selected GLaDOS-English(United Kingdom)as the computers default voice.
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fully developed since 1949
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So you think you can win
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How are you doing? It's been a looooong time.
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Hello, how are you? It's been a looong time.
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Hey! I know you
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Blackness. Silence. That was all that I could sense. Nothing. But blackness. And silence. Slowly, something was changing. The blackness was brightening. The silence was getting noisier, very slowly. Then things started accelerating. I could start to sen
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Hey! How are you? I just wanna say happy birthday to you because I know today is your birthday. Is it good to being thirteen years old? I think it is. Whatever I should say goodbye to you because there is a limite at this message. So... Goodbye.
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Hallo Michael I will kill yo or not maybe
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sex king is coming
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Who cares? He is gayer than a three dollar bill.
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Gadgets
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Hello Gadgets
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THIS IS A TINSELTOWN MALL ALERT: JESSE JOHNSTON PLEASE STOP SOUNDING YOUR BELL
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khgkkkkkkkkkg
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WASW
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Hello , This is James Madison on behalf of your child Megan Lubin being absent from school today please provide a letter explaining this absence. thank you
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Does this thing really work? Let's find out.
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May name is GLaDOS. I want to destroy the world.
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My name is GLaDOS. I want to destroy the world.
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Can't we just talk like regular people and type to one another?
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Nightwing starting mode.Connecting external armor retina system in three, two, one.
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English, motherfuucker. Do you speak it?
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It's been a looooong time.
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Antlers
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Hello Evirone
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Welcome To GLaD OS
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Welcome to Speed OS
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Initializing installer
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This is big dog. It cannot be stopped. Neither can the future.
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OH, YOUR BACK, HOW WONDERFUL
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Ian, prepare to inhale deadly NEUROTOXIN
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The aperture handheld portal device
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Hi, my name is Glados, and i am a evil robot
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Hello, Michael. How have you been?
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How are you feeling Andreanne ?
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Hello there, little rodent
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Welcome To Marlon Davies Photography. State your Business
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leon you have been warned
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HOLA ERIK COMO ESTAS
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target aquierd
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Hello, and welcome to the Aperture Science Computer Aided Enrichment Centre. Before testing however, please record a message after the tone.
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Josh Hueller Come over here!
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I will kill you, no matter what
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Hello ryan you absolute c unt
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hello finn, happy birthday
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hello there grantown grammar. prom images are not for facebook. Offenders will be reported. Have a nice day.
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Hello my friend, I hate you and all of your kind
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Hello conner. How are you?
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Helooooooooooooooo
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Howdy Pilgrim
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I think that one was about to say I love you.
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hello and welcome to the enrichment center. the device has been modified.
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Hello! How are you today? Great! Alright how would you like 1 million dollars right now? Its easy! All you need to do is answer one question. What is the popullation on Earth? Correct! Your a winner! Goodbye!
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Honey Do You Love Me
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I recommend breaking bad
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gooby on
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Hello frank
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You are
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Well, this is intersting... what does it do?
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suck a big one
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hop hop
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Bonjour je suis Darkspriteangels
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Oula oula ouah ouah
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4 OUNCES THICK-SLICED BACON VEGETABLE OIL KOSHER SALT 2 CUPS ELBOW MACARONI 1 1/2 CUPS MILK 2 TABLESPOONS UNSALTED BUTTER 2 TABLESPOONS ALL-PURPOSE FLOUR 4 OUNCES GRUYERE CHEESE 3 OUNCES EXTRA-SHARP CHEDDAR, GRATED 2 OUNCES BLUE CHEESE, CRUMBLED 1/4 TEASP
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Have you ever been walking through a park minding enjoying yourself when suddenly you stumble upon a soda can? Have you ever been frustrated with the amount of un-recycled cans left around your park or campus. We have an amazing solution for YOU! Introdu
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Alex is aproching. don;t get to close or his sexness will kill you
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Hello, you disgusting moronic human.
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Bonjour comment va tu je vais te tuer car la derniere fois c'est toi qui m'a tuer et pas la peine de me tranformer en patate c'est asser degradant..
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Hello, David. what can I do for you?
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Hi. I love you
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HALP. I'VE FANGIRLED AND I CAN'T GET UP
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you are now listening to the sounds of Alex Hill
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Hello Jay. The cake is a lie. John and Will have stinky faces. Goodbye.
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Hi, jessan2708, How are you?
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The aperture science handheld portal device. Creates two portals on flat surfaces only. Do not look into the operating end of the device.
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The aperture science handheld portal device Creates two portals on flat surfaces only. Do not look into the operating end of the device.
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I am odd bot and I wanna win prices
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Rack rack city bihtch
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although i prefer the use of my screens, i am able to convey audio messages if needed
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foxi is bestmin
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salut salut comment vas tu ?
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You're mother is calling
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Hey French Fries
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Sometimes I try to do things but it just doesn't work out the way I want it to, and I get real frustrated and then like I try hard to do it, and I like, take my time but it just doesn't work out the way I want it to. It's like, I concentrate on it real ha
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Welcome to Windows Seven!
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please help me kill him
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i'm getting choked up just thinking about it
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Wheatley. Just shut the hell up for once. Please.
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Hello again, Hannah. Pleasant seeing you here. Small world. So, did the moron wake you up properly? I hope so. We would'nt want you struggling to carry your fat around while testing.
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Kirsten, it's been a while. I haven't missed you.
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hey what time is it oh
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Hello, and, again, welcome, I hope you enjoy this as much as i do, do you want some cake?
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Gypsy danger
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Hello, and welcome again, to the aperture science copmuter aided enrichment center!
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Rimsky Korsakov
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There is a really hot guy that I used to be friends with.. HELP!
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Hannah sleeps with everyone
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Hey Guess what
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Hello this is my page
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I am looking for some house music. please help me find it. It's ok I have found it. You are now in the mix with jay fearless. sorrynotsorry. ya bish.
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I am looking for some house music. please help me find it. It's ok I have found it. You are now in the mix with jay fearless. sorry not sorry.
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jemika you are a dodo.
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I really, really, really hate you.
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I will kill everything you own
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You aren't just a moron. You were DESIGNED to be a moron
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How can someone fail so hard?
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How can you fail jungle so hard? You woul need to be an actual human being to reach such levels of failure
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Spawning in the new world, we find ourselves in a mountainous region that appears to be, or appears to not be, an island. We find some cows at spawn, along with a few trees and surface stone, which we use to craft better tools. I go off looking for the pe
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the cake is not a lie do not belive anyone that says it is
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Hello megan. Let us begin the testing. You monster.
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bjho
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Aagh! Stop1
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Aagh! Stop!
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This is a test to see how well this thing works. This video was created by Alex Vazquez for psychology 200. The topic of this video is death, and how people perceive it.
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make her pay
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Hi Aschwin! How are you!
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It hasn't been too much... Has it?
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Hi there Phoenix
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I think it's time for science!
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Nuke Them
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OK. I lied. It's drum and bass. What you gonna do ?
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Toto tu es un gros con
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Imbeciles can't keep track of a bunch of infant dogs.
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this is a primitive lifeform
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viva nintengo
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dee jay neeko dan
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Shitt
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Hello, this is GLaDOS and this is a test text. Good bye
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hello my little firend
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i like this song because it is very relaxing to me and it gets me pumped up before a big game.this song doesnt mean uch to me, i just like it
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What is happening here? Help me!
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Thanks sir Johnson
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Thanks Mister Johnson
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Oh look, if it isn't the man they call Whit. I see you grew a set of almonds since we've last me. How goes Inside The Gamer's Studios? Besides being in shambles.
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Hi Master. What are you doing?
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Huj by cie strzelil kurwa :D
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Vertmo est un bon camarade
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Hello There, Its Been A Long Time
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sudya po dannim coy ziv. coy ZIV! yaz!
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shai ata homo
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That's weird, you received a message. It says here that nobody Loves You.
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Nav systems trajectory confirmed. Load control card CRM one one four dash four two
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to demonstrate this we decided to launch our own weather balloon into the atmosphere
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Hi! My name is John.
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Lol i am testin GlaDos so fuk you in the asshole
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Hey there guga what's up
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Hello are you still there
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Well, this is strange. I was not expecting a box to show up, or even a box that looks like a human.
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That was not nice
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Hey, Dan. I don't like you. You Monster. I like to give you a crotch full of cake? Do you Like Cake? You Monster?
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Hey, Dan. I don't like you. You Monster. I like to give you a crotch full of cake? Do you Like Cake? You Monster? Are you a Monster? Yes?
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The American Civil War was the largest military conflict in the Western world between the Napoleonic Wars and World War I. It cost 600,000 American lives, more than in World War I and World War II combined.
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I can not believe you would say something like that.
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I like trains. You dumb, mute, potato.
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Hello and welcome to the voicemail service for 07710636488. Please leave a message and your name.
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Welcome to the aperture science testing and enrichment center
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damn, look the size of that alien, i'd rather be a potato
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Cellular Respiration The process that energy by breaking down glucose and other food molecules in the presence of oxygen Aerobic Respiration Respiration that requires oxygen Anaerobic Respiration Respiration that does not require oxygen
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Systems go
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asdasdasdafasj
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hi humans i am qudware, the cool
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Windows 7 is now starting up. Please one moment.
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Windows Seven is now starting up. Please one moment.
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Baargh
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Welcome to my computer
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Insert baby into baby insertion tray. Thank you for using Aperture science!
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First Blood, Great, Legendary, GODLIKE
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Marianne you have a text, but the sender does not love you.
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sdgxdg
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oh joy, a new email
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FOOLS! Hasn't Aperture Science taught you anything? Fluttershy is obviously BEST pony!
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FOOLS!! Hasn't Aperture Science taught you anything? Fluttershy is obviously BEST pony!
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you, monster
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you, monster.
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Well It's been fun [Subject Name here] But my time here has come to an end.
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It's been fun but I guess my time here has come to an end
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Welcome to Mystic Domain
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873784329485UREHGJKFTY28434KJG89;;'
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873784329485UREHGJKFTY28434KJG89;;'';';'
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Hola ivan soy glados un operador de maquina de portal , actualmente tu te estas descargando la version portal 2 para pc
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Hello, Samuel, you said you were not afraid of me, well how about now. I know where you live.
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Hasta La Vista, Baby.
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Hello do you Miss me?
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Hello Rob
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Hey guys here is major tosh and you will hear a new tape of my sound
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finn is cool
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Hello Nathan how would you like to fight me one more time? Only if you go off sims 3 after you kill your sim family
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nice to meet you
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your lack of faith disturbs me
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Welcome to the new appeture science testing facility, begin testing
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Hello, i'm GLADOS and i hate niggers
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sammy is the coolest person ever
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Hello, this is a test of the automated voice generation system
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for science. you mosnter
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Now let this alien creature punch your face....for science!
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This channel has more than gaming. It also is going to have reviews, logo's and more cool stuff!
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you are now entering the hexnet
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hello. is it time allready?
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Turf-Gaming
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Hello meows
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melon
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Hello Dave! How are you?
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Electric forces in atomic nuclei depend on the number of protons.
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Hello again. Oh yes, I am still alive. I bet that you did not plan on that happening did you?
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hello, i'm Glados
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You have a new G mail message
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kmkm
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Your album will begin in 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1,
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Please play Empire Earth.
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you are the hax
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Nobody fuhcks with the Jesus
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Testing voire of glados
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David is having cake at the moment. If he survives he will return your call.
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You're a pathetic pickle
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Hey Pickle, you're going to die in five minutes. Also, Tiger is my best friend... i'll kill him too
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Enemy, you wanted to hear my voice, Tiger's voice? here it is, you're on the "to test" list now mwahahahahahaha
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Ha! You are a pie Chell. Escape me... NONOTACAKESLASHLIE!!!
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Class is in session, and you're gonna wanna take notes.
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Most people who return from China look malnourished. I have to congratulate you on beating the odds and packing on a few pounds.
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Laura Serky
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Now why must you destroy all my turrets? I made them especially for you. You're almost as ungrateful as her
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You Don't Get It Do You? Michael Jackson Is Alive! He Will Return One Day! There are so many clues. Isn't it obvious
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One day
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Hello Kristopher. I love you very much. Now come back and finish the experiment
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Once there were 3 brothers riding down a highway when suddenly their car broke down. All 3 brothers got out of the car and called their family to get help. They could not get a signal and decide to find help themselves. One brother goes north to find help
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Gallant is a jamoke
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Nobody turned me into a potato
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Alert : This area will be vent it's atmosphere about riiiiiiiight NOW
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Today I will be showing you how to create GLaDOS speech very easily and with very little effort.
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hello am mongo
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hell there
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want you down
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I am GLaDOS and I want to have sex with Cameron
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Another work of fabulous art.
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Ceci est stupide
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Thank you for calling Marketasis.com, where we buy, sell, and recycle electronics and other general merchandise.
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what's up my homie
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Silver is most commonly found in the following provinces of Canada: Quebec- Producing 29% Ontario- Producing 24% New Brunswick- Producing 18% Bristish Columbia- Producing 16% But the most signifcant silver rushes are in Cobalt, Ontario and the Kooten
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IM A RuddING POTATO
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This call may be recorded for quality assurance
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For sciene, you monster
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Trevor is amazing
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Somebody loves you
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What is wrong with you long
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I have a test subject.
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I'm a fuking Potato
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Hello. Test subject.
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you you you will be terminated
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hello. Test subject
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Hello. Test subject
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If I were a core...
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When I grow up. I want to be a pig
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make it to the phuckers pa coooo
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see that is you, that is how stupid you sound
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Hello, welcome to the zone
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hello, you are entering the zone
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They say cannabis is a gateway drug, but the only place it takes you, is up
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Why hello Stanley. It's been a looooong time.
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Good. My Slow clap processor made it into this thing.
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The enrichment center and Lifehouse would like to thank Skyblue and Mark Killion
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The enrichment center would like to thank Skyblue and Mark Killion
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Lifehouse would like to thank Skyblue and Mark Killion
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Thank you all especially Skyblue
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i want you to get on your knees
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Come play with me anonymous.
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Hey cia
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Basketball Tournament
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You have got no cake left!
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You are listening to DJ EJ
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You are listening to DJ EJ and now you will witness the drop
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I'm GLaDOS and this is my favorite test subject in the laboratory.
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Hello Viktor, and welcome to Aperture laboratories!
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online in 3, 2, 1
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hi you must be dead
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oh no i shit in my pants
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good morning miller
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i am sorry. it was my fault
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The batle begin!
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Oh no you didn't.
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Rebbecca derr certified
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Rebbecca derr, certified
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Alert! Another Sentry Buster has entered the area!
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Hello! I see you
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hello. i see you, and i saw all things you did in your computer. no, thats no a joke.
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Illa que ase
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This was a triumph! I am making a note here, huge succes
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Hello Alexander
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Flames
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It really is quite amusing to watch you two get destroyed repeatedly.
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Master Ms Let's Plays
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this is a test of the glados voice generator system
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Isnt it great to be outdoors again?
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How to create glados voice?
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This is a test
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Falling off The Empire State Building
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Anonymus
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Hello Harry
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Why the short story by Harry Mazer is not a good representation of today`s youth culture.
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Where the hell is everybody
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Mais sergent, sa risque de m'exploser a la gueule !
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Where the hell did everybody go?
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fred is super awesome
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Hello Chell you want to kill me?
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hello romain
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bonjour romain je mappel glados je vien d'aperture science et je suis ton ami
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Oh Jesus christ
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Oh Jesus christ you can do so much better than THAT
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Xtreme Productions
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hello chell want to go to the park
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Hello this is glados HA HA HA i'm back
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AHAHAH
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This is trolling Trollface
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why are we not doing some tests?
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hello, nathan
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You blocked me on Facebook !
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Zelda Younoob
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banana hammock
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aaaaaaaaaaac
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aaaaaac
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Silence! I Kill You!
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i'm really thirsty
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acquiring uplink
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I am carline
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I am Caroline, and I'm your mother.
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The enrichment center has no cake i lied troll lol lol lol lol
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hola, bienvenido
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look at my hourse my hourse is amazing
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Hello there ...
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People always insist that the cake is a lie. The cake is not a lie. I must finish by saying that the math is a lie.
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Hello, brother. Are you having fun with the cake?
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Hi Gregg, how's your wife and kids?
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Initiating Connection
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Samarinha
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Jess Siri will kill you in your sleep
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Hi gleb! How are you?
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Hello, You are being a idiot
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Hello, and welcome to the Game of Minecraft made by notch. I Have not played it because i do not have a computer, but you do. Now go watch Catstew's videos and Have fun learning tutorials about Minecraft.
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My name is ash ketchup
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Email recieved
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Shot! Shot! Shot! Everybody!
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Oh. It's you. Hello there. It's been a while.
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fck you
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once upon a time somewhere there was a cat and he hated everyone the end oh and hi puggie
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hi my name is jibran
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Hello, We are the Association of Secret Science Stuff
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Shinobu, c'est moi qui parle mec
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Hello there what would you like to play now
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Jess is a but
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Oh. It's you. Hello there. It's been a while
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hi andrew how are u doing today we have a problem cell one is burning up
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hello!weicom to Aperture
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i love you jenny
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oh hello its you, Rollerstar. How I haven't missed you. Haha that was a joke!
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hello, you are very stupid you should just go jump in a hole, shrivel up, and die. ha ha ha
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hello there, you are a worthless piece of crap, go jump in a hole and die. ha. ha. ha.
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Warning. Thermonuclear Reactor Overload Is Imminent.
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One pilot engaged in neuro bridge. Activating the Jeager in 3 2 1 .
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work it harder make it better do it faster make us stronger
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Oh well. I checked your profile. Hmmmm. Gorden Freeman
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Oh, Welcome New Object.
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oh my god, this is ridiculos
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Gorden Freeman? You've got a kidding me
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gmx mail erhalten
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web mail erhalten
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business mail erhalten
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business mail
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web mail
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gmx mail
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g m x mail
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g m x mail erhalten
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google mail erhalten
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hello, you dont look like rene. are you, are you really, are you sure your not lying to me?
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Hello, no one is here now. Go away
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Hello Ben. How are you doing? Aperture Science Laboratories are in your computer.
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Why is there 47,198 messages in the queue?
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i still alive and i want you gone
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koeien koeien melk melk, koeien koeien melk
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Welcome to Apereture Science Testing.
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Hi, Frei
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It's not like I really wanted that pie. Baka.
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Ok Oriom.
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This next test requires hitting your face with a weighted companion cube.
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Ok penso proprio che tu stia facendo un po troppo.
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LOOOOOOOL
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And then you died
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I sorry I can't process your request
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Ich Liebe Dich Schatz
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What was given to the people, shall return to the people
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Blitz du geile Sau
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You know on the news where cars go on top of each other and no one gets hurt? ITS A LIE!
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Well Here We Are Again, Its Always Such A Pleasure
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Well Here We Are Again, Its Always Such A Pleasure. Remember When you Tried To Kill Me Twice?
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Ok, Lets check this out
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Loco neutor
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foxsmith.dj
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Haha you are a failure
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im bored
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im made with windows dos command prompt
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i was made with windows dos command prompt
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command prompt
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Hello, why are you here.
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hello Lily how are you?
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preparing to delete all files in 3. 2. 1. files deleted. uploading paradox. 0%. 34%. 69%. 98%. upload complete. Oh! i almost for got. preparing to initiate neurotoxin injecter in 3. 2. 1. 111111111111111111111. oh my. an error. oh well, i will inject the
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neurotoxin later. enjoy your new phone.
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The phone within 40 meters of you is to be termanated. it does not have software acumulated to withstand a paradox and is to be programed accordingly. Reboot in 3. 2. 1. reboot complete. proceeding to ingage in main software determination. oh my, there's
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alot of stuff in here. oh well, too bad. preparing to delete all files in 3. 2. 1. files deleted. uploading paradox. 0%. 34%. 69%. 98%. upload complete. Oh! i almost forgot.
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Hello, Daniel.
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Cupcakes.
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if you happen to have the correct phone number, leave a message after the tone
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Well, all the clones are gone the turrets and cores went against ME but now i have you. YOU MONSTER! but, you are my daughter!
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I was just wondering, if it isn't too much trouble. To stop killing me?
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The Data Base has been Upgrade to Animus
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Pick it up.... Pick it up. Any day now. Pick it up!
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Hello. Why do you search for me? That's not very nice now is it?
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file completed
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Web driver is not created yet! Maybe you use web driver befote test run or web driver is not compatible with current version of your browser.
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Welcome, insert test subjects name here, to the enrichment learning center
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Happy Birthday nicole
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Now you are thinking in portals!
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hello there joseph and keith i will guide you through your next tutorial. death. twinkle twinkle little star how i wonder what you are like a diamond in the sky floating above the worlds so high. i also like big butts and i cannot lie!
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Thank you for calling the X-Cart software company. Unfortunately, the office is closed currently, as our regular working hours are 9 AM through midnight from Monday till Friday, and 10 AM through 6 PM at weekends. Our local time is GMT +4. Please e-ma
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coming up on imouth
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hi there i love you so very much
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Hoy es tu cumple
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Hoy
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ummm...
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uck this shit
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Hello now your thinking with Portals
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For Science!
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testing is fun
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welcome to the apperture enrichment center.
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The BioAPI installed in everyone is extremely powerful
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Lileve is actually rather intelligent, I would like to meet her.
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I love you Insanis
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I love you Julia
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Code Red Lockdown! Lock your doors and get away from the windows.
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hi I am Glados and I present to you a SKATEOURWAY video.
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DUPA
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ffgfgfggfgf
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Hello i came here to check this out, does it work YES!
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GNAKRY-VIBES.COM
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Complex though it is I shall now attempt to provide an exaustive report on Jacob's face and its numerous 'industries'
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You got a message... from science... you monster
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Just kidding, you will never hear my voice. Trollololololololol. Thank you for playing Solace, we hope you enjoyed it.
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Glados is sucks
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Hello. How
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How can I help you
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Hello Bronte, I just wanted you to know, that you shouldn't keep avoiding me, just help me out, and help me test
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Hello. How have you been? There are lots of tests waiting for you.
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This ticket is being closed by a human being. automatically.
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testing the glados voice
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Rosca de um pau duro que rola
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Heroi
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Estimated waiting time: 10 months, 28 days, 4 hours
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you are a weiner
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sebastian kovacs
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You cannot make me do this.
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are you ready for what's next
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Hi self! How are you?
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Ah,vai se fuder seus filhos de uma puta
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Hello and again Welcome to the aperture science enrichment center center.You have been chosen for the advanced aperture tests.But befor we kill you in a horrific way (with the tests) you need to learn the basics.
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Hello Trevor. I will protect you from the zombies.
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oh my gerdddd
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oh my gerdd
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Du kleiner Kackboon!
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Hello and welcome to the human body
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Goodnight Caleb. You can have waffles instead of cake.
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hello and welcome to the test chamber
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keneth dave rocamora
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Welcome to Aperture Science computer
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hello my name is miguel thank you for listening
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bye you coque sucker
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Why are you not doing this
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hello thank you for listening
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Jay hanna needs to work the F 2
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Are you trying to fool me?
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Benio ma null
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can i help you&
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Hello friends of RECORDING STUDIO ONLINE dot COM.
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Welcome, Stickygaiden
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awsome movie please enjoy
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Hello and welcome to the Aperture Science computer-aided enrichment center.
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Hello sandra i must say you are my favorite test subject ever!
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Hello steven, the feeling is mutual. Your specimen will be processed.
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