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MessageDownloadDate addedDate processed
Your in the mix, with DJ Ripper
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Hello ther
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Why do you care about your mum? Kill her
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This is your fault!
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Welcome to the party of your life.
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dero
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popopo
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Tonight, lets do some Karate and then smash the TV. PHUQ THE TV
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Hello there. It's been a while since, you know, YOU KILLED ME! But that's all behind us now. So, let's get back to testing shall we?
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hello, i am here to kill you
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Hello Brian, welcome to Aperture Science Facility. Lets start testing, Shall we?
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Impatience gorged me from the inside. Yelling and calling didn't help at all, and whenever I heard my voice echoing off the room's walls, I thought about the worst possible scenarios.
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Lets go
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Hello Lindsay
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Hi, you have reached Kashi Imports. Please leave your name and number, and well get back to you as soon as possible.
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Hi, i am glados, who are you?
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Hello, it looks like i have your account's password, felipe. now i will send a message wrote i love you to eduarda silvello.
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It's been a long time, how have you been? I've been really busy being dead, you know, after you MUURDERED ME?
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Hello, chell...
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Oh, how are you holding up? Because I am a voice generator.
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Greetings, Chan, Zheng
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siema skkf
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Hello, and welcome to the Aperture Science Enrichment Program, Lauren.
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HOLA, USTED SE HA COMUNICADO CON SUMO PROPIEDADES, EN ESTE MOMENTO NO ESTAMOS DISPONIBLE. NUESTRO HORARIO DE ATENCION ES DE LUNES A VIERNES DE 10 A 13 Y DE 15 A 19. POR FAVOR, DEJE SU MENSAJE DESPUES DEL TONO. GRACIAS.
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Shut the hell up, Raul! You are a Worthless little girl!
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You will DIe
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Tick tock tick tock
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hello there, and welcome....to your death
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Please verify your identity. Identification Complete. Please hold still.
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at aperture labratories, we stuff kittens and puppies into companion cubes. but you incinerated them. you monster.
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move my pc
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hello App is requesting your attinchon
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You shut the hell up
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Nerotoxen is so deadly
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ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring
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Hello there Mika Logan, are you ready for your surprise? ... There was actually NO surprise... except for your parents.... are not actually your birth parents. You were adopted.
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Twenty Five Hundred
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Did you really think you could just go back to your TARDIS, Jones?
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Sheik is op
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testtest naber
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Hello, this is a mesage from the ithaca city school district
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Render complete. I hope you do not fail again.
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there are 10 million million million million million million particles in the universe. Yo mama took the ugly ones and put them into one nerd. you want to bring the heat with the mushroom clouds you're making. I will bake raps from scratch like carl sagan
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Eat your food, Julia
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I LOVE SCIENCE!
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So, are you holding up? Because i'm a potato!
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Hello Ben, I am GLaDOS, you know from Portal? Well,just wanted to say hello
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bienvenidos humanos, esto es TERRANOVA
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Good luck whith
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hola mofo
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Hello again, remember the times we had in the Enrichment Center, those were good times, Let's go Play some Team Fortress 2 now, shall we
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The reason why you can't chop down this tree is because of pressure
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Pressure is the amount of force distributed over an area. It is created when an object is compressed
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Is this in English?
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Rapunzel knows best, Rapunzel so mature now, such a clever grown up miss.
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You have reached the voice mail box of Jaime Mendez
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Your parents hate you
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How far are we?
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Eli, According to my calculations, you are a genius
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Sunset
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Hello Master Andrew, please let me do anything for you
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WARNING: Viewer Discretion is advised. Also if opinions offend you. LEAVE NOW!
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Hello, Moonbeam... You must be Frightened... That's alright... just lay back and relax...
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turbochop needs to get some sleep.
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HELP ME IM A PHONE BEING STOLEN.
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This is your next target
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hello subject 6 7 4 also know as Night Dani , I've been watching you for a long time. Didn't you notice? Well, it is normal
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VAGIETA
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This is the emergency calling frequency of, Vertex Communication Group, Incorporated. Thank you!
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I hope you know nothing good is going to happen now.
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Love is a horrid, sickening human emotion.
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today i am testing stuff
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stop being stupid shrimp, I hate your kind.
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ACTIVATED. Hello. I am cores, Cooperative operation really endless science.
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* The minimum amount for home loan redraw is $2,000.00 and the maximum amount is $80,000.00.
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Hello. dave
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ciao bello, come stai?
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My name is Slim Shady.
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hello nerys. why are you sleeping?
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hello and welcome to space assault ships! what? me here? yes umad? robot's are better then humans like you.
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The enrichment center
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hello welcome to the drunken sheep
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Cheese taste great
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Hello London
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Hi this is Glados
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i love your tits
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stalemate resolution button is destroyed.Also vital testing apparatus.
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Hello! Would you like to play Portal 2? You know who I am, or not?
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hello jurrian, you are an asshole
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Greeting flesh bag. Do you fear me?
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Je te deteste
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Cram a stick into your mouth and shut up
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Tomorrow will be ten degrees celsius. Have a nice day.
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Deejay Rohan
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Hello Kelly, when do you want to go to the shop?
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The atom bomb.... We all knew it would happen... Just not to us..... 1953 the Nazis won World War 2... But we started a revolution
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I'm a Potato
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Are you joking?
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Hello, I am GLaDOS. I shall inform you that my safety systems are online
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hello this is a test for warings house drama
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Hola Ramonkpo... Bienvenido a aperture science
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target acquired
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Hello Morgan. I understand you wish to play Portal 2? I am not ready for mac yet but when I am I will let your father know.
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i'm here!
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Oh, Hello Miles.
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Reeps One
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I think my server has crashed. Something tells me you haven't swapped my memory boards with new ones. Stop messing around and fix me.
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Dear,Princess Celestia
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bonjurr
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Hello Andrew did you enjoy the Hobbit in high framerate
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hi my name is rob
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Hello let's test
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You are so dumb! haha
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Hello, and welcome to the new Aperture Science test
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Carol you are stupid
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Hello Lyuka, it has been a long time, i hope you have enjoyed our time together but now, it is time for your end. I know i said some things, but it was all a lie, a team has been dispatched and now, he is after you....have fun
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The Enrichment center would like to remind you that you are a horrible person and need to kiss my ass
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salut sava oui et toi
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Initiating launch operations. Pilots. Ready to connect.
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hi sayfer, lick my metal ass
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Io sono con te
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Hai ricevuto un messaggio
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Password Accepted. Welcome
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Password accepted. Logging in.
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HELLO THERE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
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21 hours since your last login. I was getting worried about you. You monster
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21 hours since your last login. I was getting worried about you. You monster.
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Hello... and welcome to the apeture science enrichment center
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hello, human. my name is glados.
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That's you that's how dumb you sound.
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Turn left, you monster
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Turn left at the next light, you monster
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BaseDroids
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Your companion cube needs to be destroyed
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In a world where men had better things to do, two man-boys decided to do the impossible, they decided...to go, to Google.
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hello and welcome to the little big planet community levels
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From this moment on, he shall be known as Firepaw.
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Once a kittypet, ALWAYS a kittypet!
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My brother is a moron
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I saved you once, don't let me save you again!
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Hallo ich bin Max
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This is working, or not?
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Hello, You have reached voicemail. Please leave a message.
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I'm GLaDOS, and welcome to the Aperture Science.
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kush is awesome
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Peter is so fat that Benjamin farts.
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Hello my name is Stephen Hawking
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Oh no... He found the Metal Korey and Metal Sally co-op. It's... something I came up with during the testing. Nothing personal though, they're not ment to be evil or any other sorts. I have no idea why I made them, but it just came to me.
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Only Demirov can pull the plug...
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A match made in heaven... Oh, sorry. I was reading your profile Korey. It's actually nice that you married Sally Acorn. I'm going to have to find the story on how you two met. Very interesting indeed.
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Hello thank you for calling my end pay please hole while your call is being connected to our next available agent
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Ladies and gentlemen, you are now listening to Gangsterish. Mr. Gangsterish.
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hello there, this is Wills phone and he is not available at the moment. please leave a message
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hello there, this is 3106662197 and he is not available at the moment. please leave a message
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For your son - you monster !
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afnawefwe
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I love potatoes !
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cake cake
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You've reached Felix, he's testing right now. Leave a message, I'm sure he will call you back.
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hello Luke, I hope you are having fun
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hallo hier spricht glados wie geht es dir?
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Systems on line
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You know, I never thought I would forgive you...you monster
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isn't is nice to have a computer that will talk to you
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The power is equal to Power rings - but greatly amplified.
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Ten Thousand times.
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Did you know that Omega Zero was using Zero's orgional body before the Elf Wars began? It's true.
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What is this place. Not that I really care. Who are you? Fine. Don't answer. I'm always happy to find new test subjects. Here's your first test now.
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if you want you can have your cake
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you're mid tower is under atack
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This is rediculas
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Stereo Tricks
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Stereo Tricks in the Mix
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Right now you tuned to stereo tricks
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This is the answering service for Jamie Mallory.
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Stereo Tricks on the Controlls
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welcome to the apature science laboratories
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stereo tricks remix
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I want to test this out.
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You have reached Michael Ryan's phone. Please don't leave a message.
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dimitri vegas live on sirius radio
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You have angered your goddess. Prepare for termination by neurotoxin.
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All my systems are working perfectly, thank you for asking
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je vais vous tuer
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hello and welcome to my youtube channel
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Incomin enemy
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messages processed
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mister Johnson told me about this place
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Can you help me craft Companionship by sending me Rubber Duckie?
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Be scared Alec
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"be scared alec"
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E-Dub on the Beat
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Chiblets
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i love batman
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gfhkl;
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Hello, I am Dave the bunker
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Hello my name is horse
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Welcome to walmart
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atlatlatlatlatlatlatlatlatlatlatlatlatlatlatlatlatlatlatl
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Fart on my pancakes.
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Suckle my porcupine
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i do not want to kill you, strangely.
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Wellcome master, i have been wating for you. Waht sould we do first?
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dirbadirba hehe
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matt you are stupid
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**GLOBAL REBOOT - ADDING SLOTS FOR WOLV21 STREAM**
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You are a naughty boy.
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You are extremely useless to me.
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You are extremely useless to me. I really could wish you well, but honestly, I hope you die
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The Cake is a lie, Eliza
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I would like you to get back in the kitchen and make me a sandwich, woman
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Spiral of Fire CAST
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Antikythera Booting Up. Loading latest system paradigm. Importing user preferences from core mainframe. Priming operational drivers. All systems nominal and at your service.
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i am glados nice to meet you
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hello the person you tried to call did not answer their phone don't try again later
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hi, my name is Glados, and take it easy!!
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turkey jelly
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SteezyBeats
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Hello, Sebastian and welcome to the new system. I will now help you, are you ready?
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Chris....no one likes here so shut up
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Hello. I'm going to suck you.
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Please note that the enrichment center takes no responsiblity with injuries occured during these tests
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Du kleiner hundesohn
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Now that I'm thinking about it - Sa
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Elias, you pathetic human, come here.
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Look, you two ARE a match made in heaven. Korey and Sally... There's roo much information on you and only so little TIME to do so.
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Look, you two ARE a match made in heaven. Korey and Sally... There's too much information on you and only so little TIME to do so.
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Ryan, You have a new notification
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Ryan; Check your phone
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You've got a new message... maybe it's just the phone company.
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hello cameron.
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Dejay de tres
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Recently i have noticed that you have had a major decrease in tenacity. Are you finally getting dispirited by these tests? boo hoo. now, please, continue testing
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You are receiving a text message, you waste of space.
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Wellcome Perry
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hello everybody, we apologize for the lack of content on this channel
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Hello with the pudding
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We know it has been months since we uploaded a video.
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We are planning to return to our schedule and post videos every week starting in January or February.
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transmission terminated
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Another email
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Prepare for the end of the world
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I love you too Sora
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Hi Ashley. How are you today?
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Raep
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I am testing this aperature.
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Hello gin
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Pickled New Daddy
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Hello. I am Night In Tokyo. I hope you like the music i play for you tonight. well then, are you ready. I hope so, because here we go!
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Edwin. You can't talk like me.
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You can't talk like me
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hello Lobo
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Hello, let's try this shit.
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I went to Safeway yesterday. I had a delicious club sandwich. Too bad it wasn't kosher.
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This is such bullshit
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Disconnect
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Hello dom you too are truly here with your foot on the stone where you can make three apples have a nice day
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This tool lets you type in some text, and the server will generate a GLaDOS-like reading of the text. Who/what is GLaDOS? The main antagonist in Portal, a video game by Valve. See the Portal Wiki article on GLaDOS for more information.
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You shall not pass
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so how are you holding up? because i'm a potato.
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Hello, Jon. How are you doing today?
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Don't worry. gO TO THE DOCTOR TOMORROW AND STAY AT HOME.
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You monster !
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mother of god!
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mother of god
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Did i ever tell you the definition of insanity?
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oppa derping style
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simona scema
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That Look's LIke Some Kind Of Raw Sewage Container, You Should Go And Rub Your Face All Over It
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I am GlaDOS. Obey.
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Max smells
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Wish you would step back from that ledge my friend....You could cut ties with all the lies you've been living in
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Hello and again welcome to the Enrichment Center
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Hello mike
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Welcome back, Master Andrew
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Welcome, Master Jack
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Attention! SMS came from Iren! I repeat: IREN Nadvodskaya!
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Hola, veo que has vuelto
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Hello, Daniel
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Hello. This is just to see how this works. This was just a test. Thank you.
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PiggyWiggy
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Witaj, Dupku
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Answer your phone
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thank you for having sex with me
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You have so... stupid
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You are so... stupid
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ummmmm oh dear, mum's calling and i don't think she's happy deian, prepare yourself
Download01/06/201307/07/2013
chris you cunt!
Download01/06/201307/07/2013
Hello Dano, i want to play a game with you.
Download01/06/201307/07/2013
Still Alive angus
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What are you doing? That is unnecessary and dumb. It is not part of the test!
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Hello my friend, who you are?
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Go out there and give them hell!
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Hello,im Glados
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oh, lets do this
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Eddie is not here right now. If you leave your name and number art the sound of the beep...he will self destruct as soon as possible.
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Pricey, you are an idiot.
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oh god here we go
Download01/06/201307/07/2013
You'er welcome Design Egg Co Ltd.
Download01/06/201307/07/2013
Captain, I have a high priority distress transmission from Juan. Level Epsilon Five.
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Hello Alex, are you ready for testing?
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oh you open the this say good bye to your computer
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oh you open this say good bye to your computer
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God, I thought he'd never shut up. Oh I'm sorry, did you want to kill him?
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Hello im GLaDOs your new computer processor
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Hello i am GLados and i will acess all your acounts, now your pc are in danger. Have a bealtyful day
Download01/06/201307/07/2013
Oh hi, how are you psycho
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Oh, this is just a test.
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Hello, Andrew... Are you ready for your... Test?
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I hope you are.
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Hello and wlecome
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Welcome Tim
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The Cake is a lie
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I see in your personnel file that you are dutch, let me try and talk Dutch. Hallo Connor, hoe is het
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Testing...testing...1...2...3
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I don't hate you, you monster.
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this is apperture
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alguna ves te e mentido.... en esta habitacion?
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your mother is fat
Download01/06/201307/07/2013
Hello Miguel
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Melissa, get back in the kitchen
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I live in Turkey
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Collin, I would like to let you know that you are Mr. OP. Trust me, I tested my hypotheses.
Download01/06/201307/07/2013
Who wants a wheel car?
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Learn respect, shit.
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drgfd
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you to me how
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I do not know what you are talking about.
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Hello Runny Runny 9 9 9 This Is GLaDOs. Id Like to Order Melon Pan Please.
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Luigi
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Hello nick, do you know that wendy loves you very much. yay
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Take this kiss upon the brow! And, in parting from you now, Thus much let me avow- You are not wrong, who deem That my days have been a dream; Yet if hope has flown away In a night, or in a day, In a vision, or in none, Is it therefore the less gone? All
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Corsec
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I am GLaDOS, Who are you?
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hello tyler
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strong men also cry
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My name is Stephanie and I love testing. It enriches me.
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hi you can push my buttons
Download01/06/201307/07/2013
someone is texting you, what a surprise
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Oh...it's you...monster!
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Pacific Rim combat bots engage
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Hey there buttercup
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somebody cut the cake
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What's wrong with you? You dangerous lunatic.
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Name: Matalick Nickname:n/a Age:19 Date of Birth: July 12 Sex: girl Height: about 5 feet Weight:80 lb loyal or rebel?:loyal Defective or Indefective: Defective Eye colour: red and yellow Skin colour: pail green Scars: n/a How many?:n/a Tattoos (What a
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nice try Metallic...but you failed.
Download01/06/201307/07/2013
the cake is aa lie
Download01/06/201307/07/2013
How are you today, Austin?
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you do know that Aperture Science prohibits clothing, including all underwear, in the following test
Download01/06/201307/07/2013
the energy is on tonight
Download01/06/201307/07/2013
Hello, Brian. The examination is about to begin.
Download01/06/201307/07/2013
hello there quinn loffler
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Touchdown
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asdaosdiaos
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My name is jashuan music is my therapy
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dumdidum
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Doctor Who? Doctor Who? TARTIS? What game do you think you are playing. I know that the Doctor has protals but my god man, get in the right game
Download01/06/201307/07/2013
I am not impressed
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Hi my name is Caroline
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Oh yeah, Packers yeah!
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ahaha
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JE T'AIME JULIE
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prepare for the inoculation. Element X engaged
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Oh joy! David is Calling!
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Thats what she said
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oh, hi. how are you holding up? because i'm a potato.
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You seem to be enjoying that... Why?
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Thank you for calling (subject name here)
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drivers ready to connect
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Rafael it is cool
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Peroca
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Hello there, my name is GLaDOS. Welcome to the hell.
Download01/06/201307/07/2013
This is merely a test of the text to voice systm, thank you
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Welcom to the Aperture Science Computer Aided Inrichment Center
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Cheeseburger
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chica is number one
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like this pyro? also i am so recording my ass off later.
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Nigga Nigga Nigga Nigga Nigga Nigga Nigga Nigga Nigga Nigga Nigga Nigga,Nigga Nigga Nigga Nigga Nigga Nigga Nigga Nigga Nigga Nigga Nigga
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I think tim has the dumbest clients in the world.
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everyone calm down and play some call of duty
Download01/06/201307/07/2013
Hello. My name is Glados and I'm an rogue AI. We'll be testing and testing until your black heart stops working, or so you hoped. I'll just resurrect you again and test even more, you monster.
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I sometimes get that feeling. Like I'm dying. That there's something wrong inside of me, and any moment my suffocating thoughts would become a reality. I don't know why I often feel this... Physiologic anomaly, this pain. It comes and goes. It takes
Download01/06/201307/07/2013
hi Ryan
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i find as if there is not enough testing going on today
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Hey Megan. It's gldos.
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hola diego
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umad
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hi, im glados and I will kill you
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hello.... moron
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hello, its been a long time. are you ready for science?
Download01/06/201307/07/2013
michael. you are a horrible, horrible person. And I hope someone murders you.
Download01/06/201307/07/2013
hello i would like to plen order
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ha ha ha skitty big bitcg
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Lick alot of puss
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this is the internet
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hello jea
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Hello JEA
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I hate it when I come home and there are hookers everywhere. I'm like, "Where did all these hookers come from?"
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Yeah! Take the lemons!
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hello Matt
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lets get out of here
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Hello, from GLaDOS
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Good morning Jeremiah, are you ready to start testing?
Download01/06/201307/07/2013
Hello. You have a phone Call
Download01/06/201307/07/2013
do not under estimate the power of the dark side
Download01/06/201307/07/2013
Hello, Thank You for your participation in this experiment. Have you filled out your will?
Download01/06/201307/07/2013
Gangnam Style. Woot Woot
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Where is my cake?
Download01/06/201307/07/2013
hello and again welcome to you
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Let's go to my van? little kid
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so does this work?
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i want that cake cake cake cake cake cake
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my name is james
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Hello master, welcome.
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Neural Bridge activated
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this is the cleveland show
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Isn't it nice to be a computer
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Call from daniel
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You are going to die and I'm going to love it.
Download01/06/201307/07/2013
The enrichment center would like to remind you that you will be baked. And then there will be cake
Download01/06/201307/07/2013
That thing is probably some kind of raw sewage container go ahead and rub your face all over it
Download01/06/201307/07/2013
look at you soaring majestically like an eagle piloting a blimp
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Good day noah.
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i'm different!
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Reserve power supplies have run critically low. Switch to emergency power immediately.
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Go ahead and leave me.
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hello we have seen that you have became retarded.
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qaer
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leave a message for dan cervantes
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You mother was a hamster, and your father smelled of elderberries
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Battle 1, Fight!
Download01/07/201307/07/2013
Jordan you should watch out I see you!
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I hate you. Go die under a rock.
Download01/07/201307/07/2013
dadasd
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Courtenay Jay, Friends With A Rapist
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The answer is... 42
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Anomalie en secteur 2
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Hello, welcome to the pacific rim. In here you will be able to destroy monster as much as you like
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Good morning sire
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HThe message you entered has already been processed!
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Hello kids!
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oh yeah please push it on me ahh ahh
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Hello, my name is barben
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hello, and welcome to the system of you pc, I'm the brain of your pc, sealed in that form. I'll try to not be sarcast or kill you.
Download01/07/201307/07/2013
hello, and welcome to the system of you pc, I'm the brain of your pc, sealed in that form. I'll try to not kill you.
Download01/07/201307/07/2013
hello, and welcome to the system of you pc
Download01/07/201307/07/2013
hi there, what are youdoing
Download01/07/201307/07/2013
hi there, what are you doing
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i have a huge plane
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Message !
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Hello , and Welcom to the Apurte Science Technology Center
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Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer do. I'm half crazy, all for the love of you. It won't be a stylish marriage. I can't afford a carriage. But you'll look sweet, upon the seat Of a bicycle built for two.
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well, hello there!
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Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer do. I'm half crazy, all for the Love of you. It won't be a stylish marriage. I can't afford a carriage. But you'll look sweet, upon the seat Of a bicycle built for two.
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Hello, my name is Glados, i'm here to kill you
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An other busy day
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Army of Albion will kill you
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hallo luca
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Aperture Science. This is GlaDOS.
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Hey guy . I don't hate you
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danger above
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I have no idea
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reactor core breach detected
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Hello, Logan
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Hello and welcome to Arpeture sciences enrichment centre
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Drissi, I'll kill you!
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Brain Dead Pixel is too sugoi for you
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password incorrect
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prueba
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help me im trapped
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medical insurance card
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Sakabatto is the operator
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KayToo and Ricky AnSare Play portal
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jag hatar dig
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Hello, my name is Marley.
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Sasai lolka blyad
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Hello welcome in Black Mesa it's portal in half-life, half life three portal three good mix? Suck my PC please i'm not have MS Dos but i have GlaDOS
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Hello. You have reached 7063626516. Leave a message or have some cake.
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Look at every possibility, and be creative with your existence as it will probably be the last thing you do.
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You are the devil
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Kliq Kliq kliq
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Oh, there you are, codename: BloodwinG
Download01/07/201307/07/2013
Oh, there you are, codename: BloodwinG Welcome to Aperture Science laboratories
Download01/07/201307/07/2013
My name is Edwin
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take a shit on your head
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Welcome to Aperture Laboratories, here is the physics tests.
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You know, you are a terrible person.
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Dario you assface
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A quoi sa ressembla la-haut?
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Hello, Lucas. I hope, you are ready to test. Let's start, shall we?
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Ohi
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I'm glados and you're a cake
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capacity exceeded
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just testing this voice. hmmm what do you think?
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DJ Elliot, on Habbox Live
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Hello, my name is charella how are you.
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killing this app
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I Love so Much , But i kill you if you not love me Viviana, i promess i kill you so slow and painfull
Download01/07/201307/07/2013
I Love so Much , But i kill you if you not love me Viviana, i promise i kill you so slow and painful
Download01/07/201307/07/2013
I Love so Much , But i kill you if you not love me Viviana, i promise i kill you so slow and painful, Love Me , Love me or Die
Download01/07/201307/07/2013

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