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MessageDownloadDate addedDate processed
Hello and again welcome to the apeture computer atied enrichment centre
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Hello and again welcome to the enrichment centre
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I know you... You are a Monster.
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You have a Super big willy :D
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Your Life is a Mathematical error... you shall now be eliminated at once....James.....
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Hello and welcome to the Aperture Science enrichment Center... where I will test your skills about portals... yet you have destroyed me and still alive.... I will come back for you....James... Wubadubdub...
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Hello and welcome to the Aperture Science enrichment Center
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Hello, my name's is GLaDOS
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want to hear a great love story?
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hello wade
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your whole life has been a mathmatical error ... an error i am about to correct
Download12/20/201207/04/2013
jonathan, you have an incoming call.
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qudra kill
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jonathan, you have an incoming call from amy.
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Jack. I saw you playing Red Crucible two. You showed no mercy on your enemies. You monster
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There's a fire starting in my heart reaching a fever pitch and it's bring me out the dark finally I can see you crystal clear go ahead and sell me out and I'll lay your ship bare
Download12/20/201207/04/2013
There's a fire starting in my heart reaching a fever pitch and it's bring me out the dark finally I can see you crystal clear go ahead and sell me out and I'll lay your ship
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Let Insurer is pretty crap. That's OK though, Equine is equally bad
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you have reached 1234545
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I just sent you a +1 Energy to help you out. Can you help me by sending one back please?
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SHAKA ZULU
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Welcome to the Long Field Digital Leaders Embarrassment Program.
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HI WAS GEHT
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Hello! How are you today?
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it appears you defecated your self
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oh my, how did i get here?
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I want to be able to talk to my Japanese grandmother in Japanese
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Cristi is the best
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Hello, Rachel, and welcome.
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Jay Hall
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Jay Hall Productions
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Gerret is Reaper. Reaper is my master. And Master of all the ponies.
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you got a sms
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ALLO ALLO YOBA ETO TI
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i like cake. Do you like cake too?
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Greetings Anonymous. My name is Aeon. I am not your opponent. I am the sword to your shield.
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I do not care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
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Welcome Back mr. the flash what can i do for you today
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Hello . Did you found cake? The cake is not a lie. Just listen to me and you will find it.
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nancy is stupid
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Hello, are you ready? The cake is a lie.
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hello and welcome to the Aperture science main hall
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Don't make me cut you
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This is my triumph. I'm making a note here, huge success
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Okay... Tell me what is this place? Are you alone?
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Hello there how are you.
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hello, my name is Gil Goudeau. I have a new truck from Enoch. I live beer and flood pants and boobies
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hello, my name is Gil Goudeau.I like beer and flood pants and boobies
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hello dude
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Hello, here is aperture laboratories and you're the test subject number 234, take this dual portal gun, if you solve these chambers forehead I'll give you a cake.
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I'm still alive!
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Hello Melissa. I heard you like cake. Would you like to try some of MY cake?
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Oh, Sonia has left the chat room
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the building is big
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You have a new text message......you monster...
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This is a failure
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You are an idiot! Ha ha ha ha ha
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niemand redet mit dir weil dich keiner mag
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I dont like you anymore
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Thomas do your homework
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Bass. What are you doing? Bass. Drop!
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I am going to kill you now. Perhaps a death-day celebration is in order.
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hello, my name is Gil Goudeau. I have a new truck from Enoch.
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hello, my name is Gil Goudeau.
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What is Altruistic ?
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Testing, one, two three, testing
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I am GLaDOS, an idiot robot designed to make you a slave.
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GlaDOS voice emulator engage
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hi melissa this is glados i have a message from victor to you he say that you are a pretty girl and he wants to marry you
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I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts. There they are standing in a row.
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are we going to drink wine tonight
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I am GlaDOS. You are to be tested.
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good night sleep tight and dont let me kill you
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hello dominic and freinds
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Matthew Ho is a gingerbread murderer!
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I'm coming for you Paul
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I'm coming for you Paul. You cannot stop me.
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the aperture science bring your daughter to work day is the perfect time to have her tested
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Hunter you have received a text
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You have a text message. Acknowledge it. Or are your fat little fingers unable to use the buttons on your cell phone? I could sever them for you. It would only take a moment. An incision here and there, and you would have a brand new hands. Or none.
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why did you that
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Frank you must be so bored
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i hate you because you smell like cheesy ham waffles
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Due to mandatory holidays we are skelatally staffed. please expect longer wait times than normal. We appreciate your paticence Thank you.
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Welcome to the virtual solutions binary interaction testing
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bananas and potatos potatos and tomatos
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Good job.
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You are now tuned into Habflux dot net enjoy
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get out mofo
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Hi Rex I love
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Hi Rex I love you
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Just remember at the end of this test there will be cake. This is not a lie.
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Let's be friends
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You, flock of seagulls, you know why we're here? Why don't you tell my man Vincent where you got the shit hid at?
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Here, I'll put you on. HELLOOO! See?
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infectious beats
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lego starwar
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starwars lego suck
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Hello. I am GLaDOS. I am here because I need you to do a job for me. I want you to eat some Jelly. Yes you, Black Mister Blocks. I love Jelly.
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What is wrong with you!
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The cake was delicous. Too bad you had to ruin it and get burned
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The cake was delicous. Too bad you had to ruin it and get burned. Such a shame.
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Oh hi, it is you Jack
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oh hi its you jack
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Raymond sucks lol
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Raymond can suck it lololol
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What exactly are you planning on doing here?
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i am glados portal 2 robot ok bye
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i am glados portal 2 robot The cake is a lie
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I'm afraid I can't do that, Dave.
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Testing one two three.
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I dont have a problem with you bronies, I just think your second leader, Luna, is terrible, she's an orphan, adopted by her sister, such a shame.
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i am glados the portal robot the cake is a lie bye
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tem cam?
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system, online
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There is a fat person who is farting in the elevator i am grossed out
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Hello Dustin. stop being a punk, no one likes you
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hello and, again welcome to the aperture science enrichment center
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oh, it really is a big conspiracy against me that is going on out there with my girlfriend and jakes girlfriend and crazy.
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maybe black mesa... THAT WAS A JOKE, HA HA, FAT CHANCE.
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raw
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allan hubbard, I am always watching
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Happy birthday allan Hubbard
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Hi Cheese cake
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I love you Freya
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Activating wake up procedure in 3. 2. 1.
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Lee is a loser, So Shut the front door
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do you have gum nigga?
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i love the way the fries are.made i will devour them mentally
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Welcome to the 33rd Way photo booth. Get ready for the first picture!
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Get ready for picture number two
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Get ready for picture number three
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Get ready for picture number four
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Thank you for using the 33rd Way photo booth. Please exit the photo booth.
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hello, are you happy to see me?
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Please insert name here.
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Hello i am not available at the moment, please leave a message after the tone.
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I have...so much strength inside me that you don't even know what I can do! If the world isn't going to love me, then I will teach it to fear me instead.
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Hello, Carlos. I've heard much about you.
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Vancouver Gamer's Forum
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Love is such a fickle thing. Regardless, the human sending you this claims to love you.
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I smell like poop
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I love Chell and Wheatley belongs to Timberlynd
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The Mayans also predicted your test results. They invented a number system that accounted for zero
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Well now, that was predicable seeing it came from such a meaningless creature as yourself
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Go beast mode
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Hello i am not available at the moment, please leave a message after the tone
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Miau ich bin Orianna
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i am a mailbox application. leave a message after the signal and there will be cake.
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this is pacific rim
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Hello Aaron. Aperture Technologies and I just wanted to wish you a merry Christmas. Don't worry. There will be cake.
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Arriyan Wells you are so cool
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Hello and welcome to OTFans dot net
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Hello, can you hear me?
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Bill Samuels. The Second Offense. Time to get the fuk down.
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What to fack?
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tu sais que tu es con
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I want you inside of me
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I am connected Sir
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I am Connected Sir
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Welcome back, Christine.
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eat my dusty computer parts
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Hello. Next time maybe you could get me the drink I asked for.
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Hi all, Apologies I am unable to join you. We have quite a lot on here in the UK. Hope to see you all in January 2013 for an evening out. Have a FANTASTIC evening. I'm sure Christophe and Florent will keep the night young and festive. :) ( please tak
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Hi all, Apologies I am unable to join you. We have quite a lot on here in the UK.
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Hola a todos mijos
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recently, our laboratories are organized perpectly.
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Onch onch KOM JAIME LE PONCH
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Hello Andrew. It's been a long time..
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hallo?my name is glados
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Hey! I'm your ringtone. Please answer, I won't kill you...
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Good morning sir
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c0ffee, innovation in technology
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oh que chido
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hello Luca Hyde
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Hello you noob
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Hello and welcome to Tobuscus craft
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blii blaa bluu bloo
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buthole
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GLaDOS is superior
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Wherever there is fun, there will always be Aperture Cola
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This is not a good idea. I hope you have a brain in there.
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Nononononononononono
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test speech
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hello simon. how are you today?
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hi glados how are you
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Loooooooool
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Hello again it's you Lightning Storm!
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lets play portal 2 with glados
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testing complete
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Welcome to the Aperture Science Division, I'll crush your puny code with a true or false decision.
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Hello, Nathan. How are you today?
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I'm going to have Max Headroom's baby.
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tienes un nuevo correo de Super Pro
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Hi, Alan
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Are you want to DIE? Don,t be peacefull!
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Welcome to the Aperture Science Failure Laboratories. Here we eat pie and everyone dies because I shoot neurotoxin at them.
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Welcome to the Aperture Science Division, I'll crush your puny
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Hello, test subject. Welcome to the room you will be staying in forever.
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Hola, estas ahi? coge el telefono, esta sonando no lo oyes?
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I will destroy your pussy
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yolo swag
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helo i am glados
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Hi, my name is Glados, and Jordano is wondering if you would marry him
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Detention
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By drews command
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As you can see. There is a chair to sit on if you get tired. and there is also a robbotic retinal scanner that looks for irregularities in your chemical processes.
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So it has come. The anniversary of your expulsion from a birth canal. Congratulations.
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Hello Kyle
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don't make lemonade
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killing people
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shooting portals
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aww crap
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aw crap
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oh shoot
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dang
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oh em gee
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Hello Marie
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Hello! Welcome to your Enrichment Center, Sir.
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I like to eat pie... and cake... I have a cake for you.
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Use this energy to fight walkers!
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hello Nige
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I like to eat pie... and cake... I have a cake for you
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Access Granted.
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what am i doing
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Andrew and David are a pair batty boys
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Hello, my name is Batman and I will kill your family
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i have always wanted to go to space...i like space.. space SPACE SSSPPPPAAACCCEEEE...oh sorry about that i still have some data from that corrupted core you took of me..When you MURDERED ME!
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This is the Houston Police crime reporting line.
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hello it was a long time
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hello it as a long time and now out of tis room
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why look at this? you are very umm... ugly
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launch operation chipsy danger two pilots engaged in neuro bridge
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hello there morven
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Welcome to Area 51
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Michael, it is time to run some tests.
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Hi Do you know where i can find Dee Jay Richie Rich I cant seem to find Dee Jay Richie Rich
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I am going to kill you and there is no cake
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welcome to rave three
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I hate Christmas
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We are the blades of aiur.
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Please, check your messages.
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What am I saying?
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This cake is great, it's so delicious and moist. Look at me still talking when there's science to do.
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System apocalypse started. Run.
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bastard magic
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Kyle Long likes to eat pajadas
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Hi,and welcome to aperture science,Dante
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Te vas a morir
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Welcome, to axle media
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hello, good sir.
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Hello Jonathan, Your phone is ringing
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Oh my goodness
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Nicholas, one of your little friends is trying to reach you by phone.
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Establishing Satellite link, well Nicholas, it seems you have an incoming telephone call.
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Ah, what was that? Oh... just a text message. Some people are so lazy.
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Hello, Class D Personel, and welcome to the S.C.P. Foundation, where you are sure to be brutally annihalated. Please note that big sexy banana man is a jerk. Please welcome flabbing black man. Thank you, and have a nice death.
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Greetings DVX, I have decided not to kill you today, enjoy your time online, for now
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Systems offline. You now have permission to die.
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Fraser. your face is sexy
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DESTROY
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Even Chuck Norris can't kill me
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Merrick. You need to eat your ramen noodles or you will be forced back into the test chamber.
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Welcome to Eve Online
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Why hello there again, it's been a long time
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Generating background.
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Hi, this is a test to see if this works
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hello joseph, how are you?
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May I paint your veins?
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May I paint your vein?
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The bible is like an end user agreement, everybody just goes to the end and chooses I accept
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George... you are an ass.
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Hello Vanilla, want to do a test?
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David is an awesome programmer
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trent im going to kill you
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you are all going to die, i swear
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EOGANIS MUSIC
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Wake Up Mike
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Derrrrrr
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Hello and welcome to the Apperture Science Testing Facility
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How could you do this?
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There is a GLaDOS voice generator. For science.
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Facebook notification
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whatsapp nofication
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you have received a whatsapp message
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you have received a whatsapp message.
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Look out there's a boomer. Oh no
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Funeral
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hallo ik ben arne
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Prova testo
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halo dan selamat pagi, apakah anda akan menggunakan saya?
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Hello marc you have a text message
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You will be next!
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dj pako
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hola hello producciones darios iero
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Oh. I HATE YOU
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I thought you might like a cigarette after that last test. Frankly, I think you'd be better off inhaling massive amounts of neurotoxin. Did you know that neurotoxin cures all forms of lung cancer? It's true.
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XoamFire
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Goood moornning Richaarrdd
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Please, subscribe for us
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Please, subscribe
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screw you and your stupid family
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dds
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you have an email from work. why do they keep employing you?
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merry christmas to all people at pensarintie
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hello Boris
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When you die, say hello to Wheatley for me.
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You mean the world, no, that's to mainstream, you mean the galaxy to me.
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I don't know who you are and what you want but I will find you and I will kill you.
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You have received a new text message. I wonder who wrote it.
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I think we're going to get along splendidly
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In Liebe Endstille
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You are dead my dear.
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hello and welcome subject 1100986541
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Good morning. Its time to wake up
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Yes There Will be Cake
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Hello, My name Is Caroline. How are you? I am fine. Bye
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fghdsfhshsd
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Welcome to Retraffic Laboratories. We currently have a code red so just wait right here.
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Blackburn Olympic F.C. was an English association football club based in Blackburn, Lancashire, in the late 19th century. Although it was only in existence from 1878 to 1889, it is significant in the history of football in England as the first club f
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Hello sami you must be so tired
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Here's Blue Mystery Bag with brand new rewards inside. Open it as soon as possible to claim your surprise.
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Hi my friend
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Hello there, Hayden
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hola tio
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Hello. Can you hear me?
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Hi! You have a text message!
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ammunition loaded
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The test subjects are expecting me. I would leave if I were you, Jester Jokette.
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bora galera
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The second law of thermodynamics is corrupt
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I need help. This programm not perfect
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I am going to f you so hard
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The person you are trying to reach is not available at this time, please leave a name and number and they will call you back. thank you
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oh nooooo
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Hello, who are you ?
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maven
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So, the apocalypse was a bust. Do you know what that means, Carolyn?
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Multiple containment breaches detected. Blockland Archives lock down imminent.
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JOAO DON'T YOU FUC KING LOOK AT ME!
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Hello Thomas , whats up with you and your friends
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You big smelly willy
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derek i will kill you
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shut up kaley
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kaley shhh
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kaley shut up now
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oh hello
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this beat was produced by the beat legion
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suck my shit
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stuffyou
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Release me, flesh bag!
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kaley
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kaly
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Altorus going to get..... AH AH AH
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URYDFDGLFJHGASDLJFHASDLJFHALSDKJFHLAKJSDHFLJKASDH BROKEN HAHAHAHAHAAAA BB
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kayly
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calm down
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wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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I find that offensive
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glados STYLE
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Hello, welcome to your learning enrichment centre. I hope you are ready to die
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I'm sorry but we are fresh out of cake.
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merry holidays, from mu
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Kevin you are a tool. Self destruct sequence activated.
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welcome to the runiverse. my name is gladose. i will be assisting you as you explore your new virtual world. please connect your digital device now.
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Hi Austin
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Hello, my name is GLaDOS and I am in charge of the facility.
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caitlin
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caitlin, would you like some science
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Canned Hobo, You are a low down bunny boiler, Your a dirty cat hating marauder of evil, A sadistic furry hating evildoer, I hate you, you monster.
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Text received
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insert text here
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Hello. My name i super glados
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Lisa, I adore you. I'm really glad you've stuck around because you mean more to me than i can say through words. We could be infinite.
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Hello youtuber, the video who you're going to see is very simple, I think you'll have a good time
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Hello, Malika. Empty the dishwasher for me.
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Hello? Is anybody there?
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pen
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Can I haz your head
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Hello Richie nice to meet you.
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Blue Wind and Green Fire
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Hello. Welcome to you doom.
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Hello Tanner, how are you today?
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BeatYear MadDope
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dddj hibbler
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The Mayan prophecy is a lie. Why? Because I say its a lie!
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Gary Oak
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I'm Gary Oak
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Obey Gary
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You have reached Jonathan Liu's voicemail. I am not available to answer the call, and I will get back to you as soon as possible.
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welcome to the Aperture Science research facility
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Hello, Phil. How are you doing today? Would you like some cake?
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Emory is the awesomest
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Hello,My name is GLADOS
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The dark shades of the night skies. the moon shines brightly at midnight I guessed it was her smile that was brighter looking at the moon it always felt right like a beautiful sight something thoughtful for a gloomy night like a colorful kite a simplis
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KERNEL PANIC
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Hi Betty, I am Gladys from portal.
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You Now
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i Love You
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troooooooooooooooooool
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Portal is on to you life
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NO PORTAL GUN THAT COOL
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Hello, you can now begin testing. GLADOS
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Welcome to the Loop3d-Site!
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Hello there, I am your friend. Well, your "so called" friend...
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Andi sucks.
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Your girlfriend has sent you a text message, it might be worth reading. Than again, it might be a trick.
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hello, i am your friend. well, your so called friend.
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breakfast
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lllll
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hello olivier , how are you
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Portal sucks
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Portal Sucks
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Testing portal voice generator.
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Hello Aust. It is nice to make your re-acquaintance. It is time for your standard organ removal and inspection. Please stand still.
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living on video
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HOLA AMIGO MIO SOY SALVI CALVILLO MATAS
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Testing this device to make glados sound
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Hello stupid, i am GLaDOS, the best bot of world HAHAHA
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you better run
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Someone is about to get stabbed
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I kill you but.. not now
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new message madafaka
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Sonia esti proasta fraiero
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heather is a sleep monster. she sleeps alllllllll day long then wakes up and tells me that i need to get up off my lazy tail and do something. so i do do something...i annoy her.
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buna prostule
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puti a cacat
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Hello Everyone My Name Is Jack William Glass
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LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
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SHELL BE BACK SOON
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ciao neno
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Hello and AGAIN PUT THAT THING DOWN NOW!!!!
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Shit,Shit,Shiiiiiiiiiit.Hey it's working ?
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hi my name is GLADOS how are you? me? fine fine very fine. and you shell humans stupid humans hahahahah bzzzzz password not accepted
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where are you taking that thing?
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Dont even try, you are an egoist, after all.
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Jasper, get out of bed.
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I like icecream.
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Hello, and again Welcome to the aperture science computer aided enrichment centre
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D K C S
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deejay jay pogi
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My name is Layf
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Haha you look like you have a problem
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I cant find molli
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Welcome intruders, stay if you would like to taste some death
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Ladies and Gentlemen, Please return to your seats, The performance will return shortly.
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Hello! My name is GLaDOS! I'm an inteligent computer. I'm working at Aperture. My best friend is Stefan. I get him a portal gun. He was stuck in an infinite loop. I fixed that. Bye bye!
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Hello human, did you know that the fact that you two have been together for your second christmas is the best gift? Merry Christmass
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adsads
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Something is wrong with me, oh oh
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This is an Image request Page where you can request me images Edits with a meager price of A Dollar per Image. All you have to do Imagine Outside the Boundaries and view some of the samples before requesting.Inbox me-Sabir Badawi- on what you'll want.
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ceci est un test
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fggf
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Teste de som com a voz da GLaDOS
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Yeah we killed the legion
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screw you guys, I'm going home
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This sounds quite accurate
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Have I lied to you? I mean, in this room?
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you have a new messge
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Don't you want me baby
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I am in space. Do You?
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You have a new text message Daniel
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why don't you eat a but
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Tom shut the hell up
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Hello. I kill you.
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why don't you eat a arse
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boom headshot no scoop 360
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hello dota
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Kill me and the chop me
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Welcome Back, The time is now 3:47 Royal Standard Time.You Have 1 New Message
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i am glados so fear me
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The Playstation Show UK
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Hello, You have reached the voicemail for. -. -. -. -. -. -. Please leave your message after the tone!
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hey bro
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Aki is a big gay
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She was a lot like you maybe not quite this heavy
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Connecting to server
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nine yards production
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Tim, I have determined that you will not receive cake
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nuutti raevaara on homo ja vitun mulkku
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How is it that you suck so much on something you do all day?
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Well hello there, its me Glados from Aperture science.
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Today I am going to be testing the Black ops 2 videogame.
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Welcome to Portals, the robot game
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3 2 1 initiate
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Rachel marry Christmas i hope you love me for if you don't i will kill you
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Yet another major success. Very strange.
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You have called the IT service desk, we are unable to answer the phone right now, please leave a message and we will get back to you as soon as we can. Thank You
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Your hardware issues are resolved
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nezapomenout at monastery show in opava
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Because you will be dead
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Drake
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Joueur Drake
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Joueur Jack
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Joueur TMK
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please do not be alarmed
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fantom
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Suncorp. Creating a better Future.
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