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MessageDownloadDate addedDate processed
hello there, how are you?
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Accessing crystal focus menu soundfont selection
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Sorry, I Can't answer the phone roght now. I'll call you later
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hello there chase. I am your mother
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Hello, and welcome to the enrichment centre. Today, you will die!
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cuidado con los drogadictos
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Hello and welcome to the giant robot center.
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va crever
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Hello layo, you have been a
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Hello. This is a test of the emrgency broadcast system. If you hear this message, it means that, you are about to die.
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Last week I was working late at the bank, 11pm last one in.
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this recording is the exclusive property of the potter's school. It may not be viewed, distributed, or used by anyone except a student currently registered in the potter's school 2012 to 2013
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3,2,1 counting
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gabriel
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Victoria, I don't want you vanilla pudding
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Good Morning students! Please do not eat or drink in the computer lab.
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You don't love me anymore
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Hello Human Test Subjects, over the coming weeks - and months you will be subjected to horror the likes of which you cannot imagine
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calm down. I needed the money
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Your life expectancy has been temporarily reduced. Oh wait, maybe not so temporary...
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Hello, and again. Welcome to the aperture science
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Your phone is ringing, if you complete the task of answering it, there will be cake. 3... 2... 1...
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Helllo, You have reached the voicemail box of ENTER NAME HERE. Unfortunately ENTER NAME HERE is not available right now. I'm sure that if you wait for ENTER NAME HERE to call you back, there will be cake.
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you have been selected
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I'm glad I wasn't around then.
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Amanda Mcwhannell smells like jobbys in a fresh meadow
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I am the Jesus of the clamp. More so the denizen of the righteous
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GladOS a video game AI
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Oh, it's you! It's been a long time. How have been? After you murder me!!!!!!
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Although game programmers spend many hours creating 3-D graphics for programs such as computer games, the results are rewarding when a player faces an experience so realistic that it is difficult to differentiate between the game and reality.
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Hello i am going to eat salad now
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Hello I'm Awesome
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Jesse youre so cool
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Hello Christopher, How may I help you?
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I will screw you with my pen15
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Would you like to play a game
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Congratulations! You finally have a little less to be embarrassed about. Isn't that nice?
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Well Melissa, it's not that hard. Really. YOu know, you can trust me.
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Bea Kirby. I Love you, so much.
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Bea Kirby, I love you SO Much
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I love you. Wait, no, it's a lie. You know, like cakes.
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Oh joy. You have a new message.
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interactuando con el humano
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Erik sei proprio un mothafukka
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you are ugly
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Your mother should have aborted you and gave your fetus to feed hungry African children.
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Panda is fail
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greetings mortal
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Doofenshmirtz: My name is Doof, And you'll do what I say. Whoop whoop! My name is Doof, And you'll do what I say. Whoop whoop! Major Monogram: Noooooo...... Doofenshmirtz: My name is Doof, And you'll do what I say. Whoop whoop! Singular Victim:
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Do you want to talk about hippa?
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Hello World, I heard, that something really big is incoming...
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Yes doctor. Can we have cake now?
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Hallo World, I heard, that something really big is incoming...
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Welcome and hallo again
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Commander Glorian, please respond
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hi there numpty
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Szia Ditta! Mi a helyzet?
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Oh. Hello. My name is GlaDos and I will now enslave you
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And I thought I was the monster
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Hello Leona. I am the computer. How are you?
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This is Chevin computer services, I'm sorry but we can't take your call right now. Please leave your name and number after the tone and we'll get back to you as soon as possible
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Hello and welcome to Glados
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he torretas parad en el 21 12 2012 se acaba al mundo peligro
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helo there
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Hi. Nice to meet you.
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Time. Preparation. Process. All channels will be conquered eventually. This is just the beginning.
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I will eat your soul if you do not find me a robot pussy to attach to me..
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Well, hello there human. ...that is strange, there is a presence of other humans near you. They do not appear to be hostile, however protocol suggests they are to be exterminated immediately. So I must do so. I hope these humans weren't important to you.
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Hi there jim there
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Midori, I will come with you to Big Bear.
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hello garrison
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hello, you'd die slow and painfully
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you have reached my voicemail.
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you have reached the voicemail. please leave a message and I will get back to you as soon as I can.
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We will live, they will die
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I am a gundam.
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Your phone is ringing. Pick it up, you adopted fatty.
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Wait for it
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Let me dissect your brain, please. IT is so nice and squishy.
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Robert goode
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That was delicious sushi.
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hello libby
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Target Found Attack Target Destroyed That Was A Close One
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I don't think you should be sleeping anymore
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You shouldn't be here. I need you to die right know.
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I dont know why your wearing that stupid outfit, why not go out and rub your face in some dog poo
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Go away please you furry gerbil
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blehblehblehblehblehblehblehblehblehblehblehblehblehblehblehbleh
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hello human , let's play for a while
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I should now order some pizza. What exactly you want?
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hola como estan?
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hola pianola
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heloooooooooooooooooo
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activate jagger cherno in 3 2 1
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hi everyone.
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Hello amanda, i will be killing you know
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you are such a bad doctor
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You cheated on me, you fool
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Peter Hutchinson, it's me from portal 2
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An alarm has been activated.
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Tu va me manquer...
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There you are!
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Hello Barry
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I want you to give me something nice.
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hello there ethan. how are you today
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Hello Thomas. This is not Glados
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This is Ethan's Phone. Thank You for calling. Leave a message after the tone.
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Hey hey what can I say
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Hello, my name is roy castle
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Hello, this is robs voicemail, please a message.
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what is happening
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you're not just an idiot, you where designed to be an idiot
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hi there. You Are not very smart at all. i think you will be unsuccessful in life.
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1.5 Version of the EnderOS will be released in 3 2 1
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this is a test of the voice
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ir a la mierda en tres dos uno
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Hello, my name is Max. I'm a computer!
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shine bright like a diamond
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sup yo how you doing
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The Enrichment Center reminds you that subject name here is currently trying to call you
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Everything leaves eventually
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eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeooooooaaaaaaaaaaa
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Psychetron, Engage
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You will have cake
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Hello... How are you Cesar?
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Hi, my name is Nelson
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Hallo Martin
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HELLO YOU WANT TO LEAVE?
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Two pilots engaged in neural bridge
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fsa
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initiating launch operations. Gypsy danger.
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alex, why aren't you creating a logotype for up club corporation?
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Hi there my name is turtle the place
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Eurogamer.es
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Bronek helo it's me glados
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It must be difficult to be so wrong all the time.
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I like Tacos
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JESTER! DONT DIE ON ME!
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The test result have come back, you are a terrible person, that's what it says, we didnt even test for that.
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Enjoy the cake
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Bite me, pink boy
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karl, why must you quit
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HELLO THIS IS APERTURE
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jooo
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german trolo
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Thank your for calling Integral, all the lines are busy at the moment, please leave a message, we will get back to you as soon as possible
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You must not do that
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This is Derrick Price's Phone ha. ha. ha. ha. ha.
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Da Joker
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you insolent little piece of trash
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farts
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ola, eu sou o xiter, venho deixar o veneno
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Hello Oliver. Hello Isabella. Welcome to Aperature.
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Aperture Science is the best and most dangerous science company
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shut up no one loves you
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Hello, would you like your cake now? Too bad, I ate it all. Ha ha, ha ha.
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So, what are we going to do tonight Brain?
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What is the problem?
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neurological connection activated
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I guess we are all dead, anyway.
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Hola rafa
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Hola Rafa, me alegro de que no seas gay
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Hello Jake, How are you doing?
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kitty kitty kitty
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Hello nico
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I hate you to the core
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Lil wayne sucks
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You know what would make me overjoyed? If your cousin was fingered by an overweight chick
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Ahh, Bird! KILL IT! KIll IT! it's evil!
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Cuzao
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Coucou, je suis un robot tueur
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She has a degree in fashion... from France
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You unbelievable moron, why did you just pull down your pants.
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he's not ageing, he's evolving. Chief, you're turning into a forerunner.
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Hello Killroy Freeman, You have been chosen to work for Aperture Science
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No doctor. He's not ageing, he's evolving. Chief, you're turning into a forerunner.
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Hello Bryan Faletti. You have been chosen to work at Aperture Laboratories
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Oh look! A text message!
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Tell Gordon Freeman that his H.E.V. suit is mine now.
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Pilots... ready to connect. Two pilots engaged in neural bridge. Ready to activate in three, two, one.
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Hello, I need to tell you something
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You can call me norman
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yo yo yooo son of you mom
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hello brennen
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Progeny prone to harmful mutations are erased from the gene pool
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Holy Shit! You want me to fight that big freaking monster? I didn't sign up for this.
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Hello, how are you this mourning?
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Yay look at all this work
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hello nick. You are awesome
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take that, sucka
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chechnyan
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Hello. How are you? I am doing well.
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get off the phone please
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Hello Mr Anderson
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A R Drone 2.0
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hello i am your friend
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The ritter scientific commision. Proud doers and thinkers of cromulant science.
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this is my voice
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Firing on location.
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Hello Kitty Anna
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this is yiyang liu, I'm currently unavailable. please leave your massage
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Hi, my name is matt
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English, mother focker. Do you SPEAK it ?
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you have an incoming call, if you perhaps do not want to accept it i can self destruct.
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hello in krystal
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haha phagget
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Well, shit, Nigger. Looks like we need bigger guns...
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hello, you suck
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So I guess the Mayans were right after all. Huh, I guess I didn't need to kill you after all.
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Welcome to Hollis, Environmental Consulting
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Welcome to Hollis, Environmental Consulting.
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Aperture Cience
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Hello Bella I miss you!
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Hello Kat
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Pilots, ready to connect.
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I like to eat babies
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you are the result of a series of unfortunate events aha
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im getting tired of your obstinence
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The world will be mine, you fool.
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For them you only a freak. Like me.
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No tocar
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mama you have done it all wrong
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Why are you running away?
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rick is out on vacation from December 14th to December 22nd Please dial extension 10 for Kelly if you need immediate assistance.
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please be informed that you have a message
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why are here
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Terran Heavy Assauly trooper deployed. Drop pod impact in 15 seconds
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I crashed your game
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Sophie qualman and paul collett
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Hello Aaron Amador
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For them, you only a freak. Like me.
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HELLO I'M GAY
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Hey mate
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Happy sixteenth Anniversary Bernice, I love you more than ever
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Stay out of ther
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I love you Bernice, happy sixteenth anniversary, you monster
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Axelblade is amazing
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Oh no it is the end of the world
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Warning. Spoilers ahead.
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i hate you, because you hurt my feeling, stupid human
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you can cry now
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vsvasd
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Are you tired of noobs ruining your video games
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you are the moron they built to make me an idiot
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lemon grenades
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you killed him
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when life gives you lemons
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I think we can put our differences behind us... for science... you monster
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Hello there puny human.
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mnhdkuku
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Jump exit detected
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HOWDY BUDDY HORK HORK HORK
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hello I am the computer AI
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hello world. This is a success
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Hello Magnus. I am GlaDOS! I don't think that food will make you any thinner!
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Hello Rollerstar
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you are such a pussy
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Good Morning Pete
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Focus on goals and execution not the obstacles in front of you
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hi im galdos
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Max, it's time to catch the bus.
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i am glados wahahahaha
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Hello Stephane, please proceed
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Stefan you have a message
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Paulo, this is your present. Be happy! An remember, the cake is a lie.
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Paulo, this is your present. Be happy! And remember, the cake is a lie.
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hey there baby cakes, wanna ride my bumper wagon?3
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hello balas
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well done.
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Van Wyk Louw, you have been a very naughty boy and need to be punished. YOu must make up for your bad behaviour by purchasing lots of gifts for the most beautiful person in the world Becky. DO IT NOW!
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Hello, Xavier. How are you today? I've been great ever since you killed me. But that's behind us. Now, shall we test?
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bhnggg
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mario ruined everything
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Foto wurde Gemacht
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hallo sunny
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fantastic! you have remain resolute and resourceful in extreme pessimism.
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Why? They didn't think that a better solution was to redesign the targeting system? The best solution was to make giant robots?
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Coming soon to a theater near you.
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You ringing! Can you hear me?
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Arslan Kot
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BUP BUP
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Bulk that shit before you hulk that shit.
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hello kiwi
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isay hello to you
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I'm suprised you know such useless things. This is the first time since birth that I've admired you.
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Hello Tim. The cake is a lie.
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The Roman Empire had a huge task in front of them while it was first starting out and while it was becoming a dominant dynasty in the early civilizations.
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Hello Tim. How are you feeling today?
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bwiset
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But I do not want to die
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Is that a doughnut you have there?
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Is it hot in here, or are you just sexy?
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Pogi, patalo ka talaga
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The Matrix has you
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itil
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I'm wide awake.. and now Layla Noelle Price should stop being an asshat.
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why you doing this to me. Stop it.
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you are ridiculous
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hello. today we are going to see at something called jef. but we still need aperture science
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Why the hell would I say something like that?
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Hello, I really dislike being here.
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Hello, human life form. We have created a superior life form to you, the pony life form, you will no longer be needed.
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Welcome back commander Glorian. All System is operational and standing by
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fack this shit
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OM NOM NOM NOM NOM
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I've been really busy being dead... You know... after you murdered me!
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You have reached B C Hatchett.
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hey, how are you holding up? because I'm a potato.
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The door to the room has been sealed. Goodbye.
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hello and welcome to clever method
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Hello and welcome to the main page of this site
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The end is nigh run for safety
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Hello There Test subjects i hope you will have a slow and painful death
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Crom!
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This test chamber was created to kill you.
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why do you spend all time to work? full!
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I am so hungry how is your sould today
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We are getting 20 percent cooler.
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We are getting 20 percent cooler. In 10 seconds flat.
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Lass uns einkaufen gehen
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Lass uns bitte einkaufen gehen
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let us go to the supermarket
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Einkaufen gehen
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hello leslie how are you
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Hello, Nathan...your a monster
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Which came first? The Chicken or the Egg?
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my little art house
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When leaving rooms, turn off all lights within your living quarters. It will save more energy then you can believe.
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Is your refrigerator running?
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Protecting taxes everywhere!
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Hello. I am a person like you.
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I'm sorry Dave. I'm afraid I can't let you do that.
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system error: user is dead
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Hello Chris, Did you have your Snickers today?
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Hi Gareth. You look great.
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suck it rob clark
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Hello. I kill you now.
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tienes un un wassap rodri
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tienes un wassap rodri
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tienes un wasap rodri
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tienes un un line rodri
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tienes un line rodri
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hey listen rodri
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you have a whatsapp
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Tareek
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op op op op op a GANGSTA style
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hello. what are you doing?
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GANGSTA style
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Oh, it's you. Pacific rim looks like a good movie
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It's been a loooooong time, how have you been?
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hey listen
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ey listen
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rodri
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whatsaoo
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whatsapp
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what sap
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Hello, i'm going to kill you.
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hello you can a message in your smartphone look at me look at me
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hello you can a message in your phone look at me look at me
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hola tienes un mensaje nuevo
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I like to buck cheese
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it was a triumph you little fool
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Buliaaaaaaa
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Hello Jeremy. GLaDOS is here to help!
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Just think about it louis surgery is really bad :(
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Startup sequence initiated.
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Look at you soaring through the air majestically...like an eagle. Piloting a blimp.
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Shutdown sequence initiated.
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anoid
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Sup dude?
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You have unread email messages.
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All systems read. Generating sequence.
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have you ever asked yourself, why is that man never came back to the moon in these 30 years? or he did it?
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Hola soy glados
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When you're not paying attention, everything hits you in the balls.
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I will destroy you.
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This is a test to see how it sounds.
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Hello Iya Are you reade for a test
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How are you gentalmen
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Hahaha. Thats not very funny you know...
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There you are, I've been waiting for you, John. The portal gun is just ahead of you, good luck.
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hello, you should try man up
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avocados would help you feel better
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abby, avocados would help you feel better
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Hey your phone ringing. It might be a friend? O wait you don't have friends. It's almost sad, no it's not it's funny. Ha ha ha I laugh
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hello travis
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gh
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You do realize you're going to die, don't you?
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Hello Blake, how have you been?
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Why should I believe anything YOU have to say?
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you have reached alex westmore, he is not available, please leave a message
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There's still cake
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RWAR
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Ivon how are you?
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Ivon how are you? I love you
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Wheatley is a moron.
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sacalo pato
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Ivon...you are going...to die
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I love you Adam
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Heeeeeeeeey sexy lady
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hi Val I REALLY mmiss you
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hellow harry
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hello harry how are you today
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hello master how are you today
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You have received a new massage
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whats up baby
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this is boring
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hello i am a text
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glados test
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i love my little pony... HEY DANCING IS NOT SCIENCe
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DANCING IS NOT SCIENCEZ
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notification you pathetic loser
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Ouuu, it`s YOU!
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Carlos, you have a face book notification
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my mind is going there is no question about it
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Hello Kemper. I am Glados.
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i am andre. i want to have fun
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hello, and welcome to Wire corperation science and evil industries, we put the awe in awefull
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One point Twenty-one jiggawatts.
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1.21 Gigawatts
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When this baby hits 88 miles per hour, you're gonna see some serious shit.
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You have an email...nobody likes you
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you've got mail
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You've Got Mail!
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My goodness why have you not subscribed to Isaiah yet, Oh well probably a good idea not too.
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kakaotalk
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Level One, Level Two, Level three, level four, level Five
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Brandon I've Come To Kill You
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Hello Brayden
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SixtyNine
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no toris were harmed in the making of this movie
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hello I am still here
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hi my name is glados and i will be your whore
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Hi i'm glados and i will be your whore tonight
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try this out
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Hello Kristine
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suck my balls you evil bloodbag, wait maybe we should talk about that fire in the kitchen
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Am I jealous of Siri? No. No I'm not. She
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that was a metaphor
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Where's the cat.
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she was a lot like you
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Let's Go! SSDC
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If that's what gets you hard.
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hello shana, i've been waiting
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I love to rim pacifics.
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Guillermo del Toro has invited me to participate in the preservation and collection of test subjects.
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no kawoeru nageesa you freak
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You havent been over in a while.
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Lets take shots
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tet tet teh
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humina hurr durr
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Suck my circuits
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hello max. are you having fun with the papers? i hope you are.
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hello, my name is Luiz
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go die areadly or else
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Oppan gangnam style
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blow me clown
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Oh my yes. Please, be gentle, My hardware isn't compatible with your... EXTREMELY hardware.
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feel better nigga
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Hello Tyler. You are the most awesome person in the world and I love you.
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HELL-ELL-LLO (SUBJECT NAME HERE). It's been a lo-ooo-ong time. How have you been? You know what. I don't kuh-kuh-care. I'M Guh-Guh-OING TO KI-KI-KILL YOU ANYWAYS. So get ko-oh-oh-ohzy.
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What is said? Please study rather than it. If a test is not successful, there is no meaning in which you are. Probably, it is good... You suit a terrible experience later. Since it also seems to be pleasant to laugh at it and see it.
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Now, let's begin a test. Therefore, probably, it said? the next -- how -- Things ... it is pleasure
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What are you doing!? St-st-st-stahhh. No. keep going. I haven't felt like this in a very. long. time.
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Hello Visitor!
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prova prova sono glados
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you have a new text message!
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I AM SO HAPPY
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Appell recommends affordably priced collectible toys, such as the new DaGeDar balls that have different "personalities" and can be raced or used in play battle. They're good options for families trying to keep spending in check: "Kids can save their own m
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Why did you kill me?
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Hello, human! I am going to kill you.
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I have too much packing to do.
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Slipnik you have a message
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Eyebrow Bearde
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ochinpo
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What is said?
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peter smells bad
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channel switched
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mi nombre es vladimir cruz
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hello, you smell of cheese
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welcome to voice generator how can we help you
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Hello, and welcome again to room 4 2 2
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eye
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Good morning test subject! I will take you to school where you can fail.
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Good morning test subject
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Three guys go to a ski lodge, and there aren't enough rooms, so they have to share a bed. In the middle of the night, the guy on the right wakes up and says, "I had this wild, vivid dream of getting a hand job!" The guy on the left wakes up, and unbelieva
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initiating launch operation
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Hisense
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oh that just sad let me just punch a couple more 0s into the popcorn
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Hello, my bear. How are you?
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Seems like someone has been snooping around again, must have been munchies
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This paper presents an investigation of the geometric quality of depth data obtained by the Kinect sensor. Based on the mathematical model of depth measurement by the sensor a theoretical error analysis is presented, which provides an insight into the fac
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ha ha lol
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really ?
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Blue
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how are you daniel waterhouse
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Wait ! What? ok i ll try
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Thanks for your service lunatic girl
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good morning lyralei
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Cry lawn
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