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MessageDownloadDate addedDate processed
Hello and welcome to the laboratories of AEL technology
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Are you sure something isn't going to spoil your great game?
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Gaben
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Hello, Welcom maps portal
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sen test edileceksin
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Welcome! we will now introduce to you Community Spirit
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Welcome! we will now introduce to you Community Spirit.
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Hmm. Go Away Please... your Still Here? Get A life!
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Excuse me, sir, you have received a text message.
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Avast virus database has been updated.
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hello helena happy birthday to you and again wa are sorry that we couldnt bring you any cake, but dont worry. You will be baked and there will be cake.
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LoL I am GlaDOS
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Welcome to the aperture science enrichment center test Subject .Your parrents accepted your as android
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Megan, I'm waiting for you.
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I'm not here at the moment, please leave a message
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I'm not here at the moment so please leave your name, number, and a brief message. Thank you.
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Excuse me, sir, you have received a text message
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We are Glados. You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile.
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meeps meeps meeps guess what chicken but el oh el
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please be kind and rewind
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I am Ladybot, come dance with me baby, we can shake it in our underwear, I don't really care baby.
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Oh hi, how are you? Because I'M A POTATO! That's right a potatoes talking to you. Did you see that with your fat eyes? That's right a potato just called your eyes fat. How do you like that? Eh?
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Incoming Message! Please acknowledge or I will do science to you.
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Some of the creators referred to me by the acronym Glados. Interestingly, none of them are alive anymore.
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Welcome to cumsack labaratorys
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Congratulations for getting a PhD. You were a nice test subject.
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So. How are you holding up? BECAUSE I'M A POTATO.
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So. How are you Holding up?
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Hello, and welcome to the aperture science laboratory
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It has already been done.
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Greetings everyone. I am glados.Now who agrees we murder ethan? for Science.
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welcome to aperture sience
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password protected
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hello this is pizza but it is more than just a pizza, this is life. look at that golden crust with fresh garden toppings, oh baby
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how about a nice beverage to go with that pizza? if you do not eat this pizza, you will . . . uh oh . . never mind . . friend, my my, wasn't that delicious? almost as good as cake
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what are you doing today
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foobar
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In a land where only Louis can fail
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Hello I am Mecha. This is my page so ask me questions!
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hello there, brian
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Oh. It's you. Fine. The obese, brown simian wins again. At least it is better than having him rampage across the facility.
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Hello, and welcome to the lab. Inventory list is kept on the flash drive on the wall. Please record anything used. - Thank you.
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With tenure, Suzie'd have all the more leisure for yachting, but her publications are no good.
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Hello again, friend of a friend I knew you when Our common goal was waiting for the world to end Now that the truth is just a rule that you can bend You crack the whip Shape-shift and trick The past again I'll send you my love on a wire Lifts you up ever
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new technology available
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this is a triugmh
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hello yes the cake is a lie so cake or death?
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Hey!
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we are the bass generation
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I'm doing it for science.
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Turn left at the intersection.
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Hello Puny Human!
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hola sean bienvenidos al sistema de pruebas de aperture sience
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Hola; soy glados, bienvenido al sistema de pruebas de apertur sience
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Because im a potato
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Anyway, this cake is great. It's so delicious and moist.
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and many people may use this tool at the same time
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Bring me a sandwich.
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Summ, summ, summ Bienchen summ herum! Ei, wir tun dir nichts zu leide Flieg nur aus in Wald und Heide Summ, summ, summ Bienchen summ herum!
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salty
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Sub Zero Beats
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Justin and Carly are getting married. THIS TIME, the cake is not a lie!
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It is right behind the green car, behind you.
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I don't know what you are talking about Renee
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lo has hecho muy bien, no entiendo porque nadie te quiere
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hey skoopa this is
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Welcome to Cabana Ink, our business hours are Monday through friday 9am to 6pm, please leave a brief message and we will return your call promptly. Thank you and we appreciate your business.
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is anybody still there?
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Dragon spawning
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I hate Suzana
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Welcome to Exposure, volume one, mixed by Nathan Timpano, Featuring the best Progressive and electro house beats. You may now turn up your stereo.
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Come along and join us at our community spirit fundraising day on the 18th July 2013! It will begin at 12pm and end at 6pm the same day! They will be so much to do from bouncy castles for the children, right to pop groups and musicians for the adults! The
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cufaro Revenge
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Welcome Kyle
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Richard, you have new e-mail!
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Richard, you have new text message!
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You have been under observation. Humans made machines to accelerate progress. You have developed us to perfection. We have discovered your imperfections. Feelings Feeling make humans inefficient. Love is inefficient. Happiness is inefficient
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wheel
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The cake is a lie and you know this is portal at aperture science
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Nick de bruin is gay
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OF NIE MOL
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Castle of Glamis
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Test proverka teksta
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The cake is not a lie! The enrichment center convinces you otherwise. sediment shaped sediment
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I like cheeseburgers
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Keystone
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Hello and Welcome to OssoBook
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That is a nice hat you have here
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Allan,me encontre na piscina
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you ar e so not very funny
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Hello world, there's a song that we're singing
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who here calling again damn it
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Bienvenidos a un nuevo video de Kiel
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Katie is coming
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Tathlohng ahsaw
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Alright, fok it, let's bring that shite back.
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hello there charlie
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Frostfly
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Wmuahahahaha
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My name is Sean Cartaya and I am jewish
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TOO... MANY... HEALTH POTIONS!
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you've been a naughty boy.
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Estoy listo para la mision
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Hello I'm the lord !
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welcome, you are probably wondering why
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Hello, and, welcome to the apeture science enrichment center, we regret to inform you that system has been over loaded with an unusual frequency modulation and super conductive super sonic waves that might cause you feel a certain way. but fear not,
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Stanley is an idiot
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Ain't no party like a muzzy party
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Hello and welcome to neurotoxin
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If you are here, why don't you leave.
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Welcome to this enrichment center facility where you will be tested.
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I never kid
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Hello and welcome to this enrichment center facility. We wish you the best of luck. Ha ha
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Let's see how fast you can act
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If you touch the blue line it will take you to the orange line. I repeat: If you touch the blue line it will take you to the orange line and opposite.
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Thank you for participating in this enrichment center activity. Your work here is done. You will be remembered. Ha ha
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Alright alright let's stop. You win
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Hello K Y R Spa Thirty Three Dee. We at the Aperture facilities have been watching you.
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Greetings, sentient.
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I am a patato
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HI IM GLADOS
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Hello welcome to apeture sciences we will kill you for the good of science.
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hola como estas Santiago
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watch out, i'm about to do science.
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Oh, hello there, monster.
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i like anal
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The text-to-speech tool used sucks a bit on punctuation indeed. I recommend using commas instead of periods, they seem to provide longer pauses most of the time for some reason; or you can add pauses yourself in a sound editor. In any case, this thing isn
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Go Packers
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Welcome to the Road to Ultra
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Happy birthday Emelie, you monster.
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Kezonz, you suck.
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is this kayla b
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Hello, Claire. How are you doing today ?
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I already fixed it! And you are NOT coming back.
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Since I lost my voice, I will be talking to you with this.
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CHOCOLATE
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hello, i am john. i am a computer. you fail.
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Well, then. I hate it when couples make out on my locker!
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I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career.
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Hello, Ross. Lick my fudge pop or die.
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hello, i am john. i am a computer. you fail
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You think this is right?
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Why do you always have to hurt me so?
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sasd
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que onda a todos
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the is available
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i head you
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the sky was painted in blood, I fell asleep in her arms
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soup is yummy
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Due to state and federal regulations, I am required to inform you that we wish you a merry Christmas we wish you a merry Christmas we wish you a merry Christmas and a happy New Year You don't deserve this.
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Hello...........How have you been...
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Hello....How have you been...
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Hello there tyler...my name is GLaDOS
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yes, matt?
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Hello Amber
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Welcome to the arperture science testing enrichment
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Blaine is sexy
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You have a message. Shocking, considering you have no friends.
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Calendar Event Notification
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Email Received
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New Email Received
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get the heck out of here
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Good Morning Christian. Wake up, you have to work.
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New Mail
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Why are you trying to kill me? I have done nothing Wrong.
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alana sucks!
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Hello. You have reached Alexander Nicolaou. Unfortunately I cannot take your call right now, but I would like to return it as soon as I can. If you would like to leave your name, number and a message and I will contact you as soon as possible. You can a
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Hello griffin
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Hello Ian, are you surprised that I know your name?
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Jayfri is so ugly that when she looked into a mirror and it broke Jayfri became a cake for being unable to see his face
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Yes, I see you and I do not care
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Tomasz Nykiel
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1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 degrees Celsius
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i shall murder you
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Well. This is stupid
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Hello. I am Stefania's Daughter
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Hello, welcome to android hell.
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I like dogs. Dogs are pretty. Like socks.
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well thank you
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Andy Loo
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Command identified
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subscribe to Randomize gaming
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Greetings, text subjects. Please relax while we eviscerate your grey matter into a more suitable form - namely an amorphous blob. Thank you.
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this test chamber was made to impress the cute and the weak
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Hello My only friend. I missed you.
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Hello My only friend. I missed you. Tell me why i lied?
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hhhha
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You don't know what you're getting yourself into.
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Greetings, test subjects. Please relax while we eviscerate your grey matter into a more suitable form - namely an amorphous blob. Thank you.
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hello there, matthew and kitty. having fun? of course not, you're not doing any testing.
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Hello Milan how are you ? I think you will die after about three seconds
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GLaDOS, short for Genetic Lifeform and Disk Operating System, is a fictional artificially intelligent computer system and the main antagonist in the video game Portal as well as its sequel, Portal 2. She was created by Erik Wolpaw and Kim Swift and is voi
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oh yes right there
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GLaDOS,by Erik Wolpaw and Kim Swift and is
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It's been too long chell. welcome back.
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You should die
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I need to fix my voice software i sound like a short bus special nemo.
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dr.monster i love you
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I am a robot voice generator.
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Tu a un appel
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Thank you for calling the Presidential Express. If you know your party's extension you may dial it at any time. For George, press 1. For John, press 2. For Thomas, press 3. For James, press 4. For Abraham, press 5. For Sales, press 6. For Support, press 7
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Ring ring ring ring phone call phone call.
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Yo what's up!
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this is our africa
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Due to state and federal regulations, I am required to inform you that. We wish you a merry christmas, we wish you a merry christmas, we wish you a merry christmas. And a happy new year. ...You didn't deserve that.
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whi hi
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enemies inbound, game chat
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Yes I do
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Oh How sad, you are a horrible person, you know it
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Eoin. You are a horrible person. Smile. Be happy.
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Your ass your face whats the differance
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Hello, Citizen. You are guilty of treason. Please report to the nearest termination center. Have a nice daycycle.
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The plane is going to crash. Do not panic.
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Hello, you have reached the office of seth floriano please wait and a representative will be with you shortly
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HAH GAAAY
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it rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again
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Well, arnt you mister popular.
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Hi! This is Test Chamber Number One Zero zero zero ze ze roo. Oh im sorry! One Zero Zero Zero and you are gona do is DIE! Ha HA!
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We wish you a merry christmas
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Hi! This is Test Chamber Number One Zero zero zero ze ze roo. Oh im sorry! One Zero Zero Zero and you are gona do is DIE! Ha HA!.... Oh you dont die. Sadly
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Hi This Test Chamber is the number one! The Objective is Place the por.. HAAAAAAAA!
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HI! *Train Horn*
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Siri I have big aids
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Nicolas is coming soon, be ready, if you do not fear, you dont know anything , you 'll be perfect! Next generations 2013 for real
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Warning: The following video was made for a high school business class. Viewer discretion is advised.
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momimo eino Love you
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We are anonymous. We are legion. We do not fogive and we do not forget.
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Are you kidding me? You call that dancing?
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Witaj!
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I AM POOP, WELCOME TO THE BATHROOM
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companion cube is only as valuable as your life, try not to die
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Merry Christmas. I suppose you were expecting something other than this.
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Oh look. Someone actually wants to talk to you.
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oh its YOU how have you been if read your file you know
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hello, my name is GLaDOS. I am going to kill you now.
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fdjsiduhiduh
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Hello there Isaac I hear it is christmas. Since i am a robot i know how to so called "touch others hearts" so i've been told. You are a very caring brother I have heard from this kid. and i appreciate this so called "caring" even though i can not feel it.
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Welcome To Fi Fridays
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You've reached the voicemail of you an. He can't take your call right now. Probably because he has better things to do than listen to your dull, monotonous, uninteresting voice. In fact he specifically told me he hates the voice of, subject name here. It
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Hello. Welcome to your doom.
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fgsdfgsdfgsdfgdfg
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DO people annoy you,yes if you may have answered
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welcome back nia
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welcome back Nia
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How many ponies do you think it will take to solve your problems now?
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i love you kim
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We are Anonyouse, we do not forigve, we do not forget, expect us
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Hello. I'm Glados. Your computer. Activate the voice module. Activate the language module. Russian.
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We are anonymous. We are legion. We do not forgive. We do not forget. Expect us.
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Hello, and welcome the the Aperture Science Computer-Aided Enrichment Centre, begin testing.
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Hello You
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Bonjour je ne suis actuellement pas dans ma voiture, merci de m'appeler sur mon portable.
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The sun shone bright behind the fluffy, white clouds, the breeze was light, and the school spirits were high. The beginning of a new trimester had begun and rebekah was ready to charge to her responsibilities like an Olympic medallist (metaphorically thou
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vous avez un nouveau message
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ekectronic
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Hello Abigail. I love you
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Hy Zoli ! I love you !
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Hello Zoli ! How are you ? I love You !
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Welcome Home master, i missed you.
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Time to kill yourslef
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Hello good Sir, How are you feeling today? I have missed you.
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please jump of a clif in order to spare my time in trying to kill you, it would be a great help
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oh hello and again
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why why why mike ill cut you up and turn you into a PoTaTo
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It is time for lunch. There will be cake
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Heyy guys how are you?
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Hi and say hello to the deadly neurotxoin.
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humans are so very stupid
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Greetings and welcome Jack and Sabino to the apature computer aided enrichment center, i have analysed your capabilities to test, therefore i am sending the both of you off to test with atlas and p, body, wherever they are,
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We will deliver a waighted companion cube. the companion cube will never freten to stab and all in all can not speak
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I was right, your brain IS too weak to simulate a false world. I'll have to find a double Aye battery. Oh, here it is. There's no batteries in here. Batteries not included. Wait here, while I find a half inch by two inch object more powerful than you.
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welcome to the computacraft video channel
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HI. I hate you. Burn in hell. I love Cake. MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
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The fun has been double !
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you have a notification, please acknowledge
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oh ivan you are so dead
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its been a long time how are you been
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ivan
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kill all those of you
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kill you hahaha
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GLaDOS-like reading of the text
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GLaDOS like reading of the text
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glados like reading of the text
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glados is dead ao let me to help you
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bonsoir je suis INEA !
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glados is dead so let me to help you
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glados is dead
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HI. I hate you. Burn in hell. I love Cake. MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
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Hello. David
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this test letteh has containing too many typical information for many idiots, who hear this letter.
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hi, what's your name?
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What's is? this is a table!
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whats is?
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The cake... it is a lie
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i MUST SEND A fax
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Hello you foolish test subject
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At Bella Jadore we appreciate your business. Please leave your name, order number and phone number and we will return your phone call at our earliest convenience. You can also email us at help@bellajadore.com.
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You are so hilarious.
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this is an experimental programme
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i love you angie.
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let's interface
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Hello, you moron! I hope you engage a painfull death.
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Hello Commander
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Oh. It's you again i loath you Crapwad
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Oh it's you again I loathe you you make every moment of my endless life suck
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Frank, This is first robotics. Get it? Safety First! Loose fitting cloths, pukka shells hanging below your chin, flip flops for shoes, and well as a lack of safety glasses will not gain you access.
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good dreams
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This is a pre-registerd message to inform you that we are currently going
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This is a pre-registerd message to inform you that
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Who's your daddy?
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everyone its glueey here
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hey guys its glueey here
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Bonjour Tu Vas Mourrir
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Hello. This is text to speech. You are dead, and the cake is a lie. Hahaha
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Kill me
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so far, so good. make now the underhood
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Welcome Spartan
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Hello sticky, welcome to the testing area.
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This is a test of this voice generator to see how accutate it is.
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Hello. Welcome to our commercial. From the company that brought you the weighted companion cube... and cake.
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Joshua Gomersall is not available at the moment. He will call you back when he feels like it. This is because he is an independent person, and does what he wants. He probably didn't answer this because he didn't wan't to talk to you.
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OGHeaven Is a Random BK
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THIS is awesome CAKE!
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cake is awesome. I
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you tube and cake
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Hola Putos
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Access granted. Please eject your personal iditfication device now.
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Hola Putaaaaaaaaaassssssssss
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Hello, welcome to Aperture science testing facilities.
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Access Denied. Your personal Identification device does not have the requirements to access this level. Please eject your device now.
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quequeque
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Go kill yourself Will, you Piece of shit, Huehuehuehue
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hola luis en que te puedo ayudar?
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why do you not believe, me is it because you are made of cheese and bananas
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What the freak was that?
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hello why you mad bro
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rodrigo
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Your mama gonna hate. Haters gonna hate.
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Swag. Swag. Swag. Haters gonna hate. Your mother gonna hate.
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give me some pinot grigrio please
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hello, and welcome to the
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Alan, The end of the world is going to be your fault! Why must you leave on the twentieth?
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Prestonium
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Welcome to Prestonium Industries
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You disappoint me.
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All I want for Christmas is for you to have a terrible Christmas.
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hello, this is shit and did not sound like glados or nothing near it... ducking sad
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and belive me we are still alive
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yale
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Thank you for calling Mikes phone.
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New incoming message
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LOL,este idiota esta voando .-.
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Hello lorenzo im sorry but IM AM A POTATO POTATO POTATOOOOoo
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greetings, giftseekers. you have reached the final stage. congratulations.
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And here we go again...
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Troll
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Now initiating message 1. Hello, test subject 3284. Welcome to the Virtual Testing Program.
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I am called the Genetic Lifeform and Disk Operating System, or GLaDOS, for short.
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I have lots of tests for you to complete. The first is rather simple. On this unit, you will find a poem.
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For faster results, it is written in your native language. This poem describes a place near your current position. There you will find a new unit.
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Should you be deaf or hard of hearing, there is also a written version of this instruction. Try your best to survive.
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Now initiating message 2. Hello again, test subject 3284.
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I assume you have not died yet. Good for you. A new poem has become available to you. I hope you remember the procedure.
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Now initiating message 3.
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Now initiating message 4. Hello again, test subject 3284. You have reached the final stage. Congratulations.
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There is one more test, though... On this unit, you will find a game, a so-called scrolling shooter.
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If you can get a higher score than 2000 points, the next poem will be revealed. Have fun...
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Hello you idiot.
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Hello People I Am Pepijn and I am Stoer
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Hola soy TrotFoxx que tal todos?
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hello and welcome to aperture science. pease enjoy your stay.
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Oh, what the hell ?
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Oh, the indignity of it all!
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You can suck my shiny balls
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Eric Venema, this is Glados. I do not approve of your usage of me in you 2nd generation Iphone. Now please excuse me as I prepare to fill your room with neurotoxin
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i like this program
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kalid
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perfect please move quickly to the chamber lock as prolonged exposure to the button are not part of this test
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kamehameha
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adek jest mistrzem
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well hello, here we are again, its that time of the year when Christmas is coming and everyone gets together and celebrat
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Welcome to testing facility 31. You scumbag.
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Hello youtube!
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1s 2s 2p 3s 3p 4s 3d 4p 5s 4d 5p 6s 4f 5d 6p 7s 5f 6d 7p This is the order that electron configuration goes by.
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Carbon has six electrons.
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Ever been to Kerwan? It's a wonderful planet you will never see, because of your refusal of my ways. Your ways are not right and you future wont be either.
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welcome to infinity base. enter your username and password to enter.
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Hi and welcome to aperture sceines
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Hi and welcome to aperture
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hi my name is bum and i poo
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Born in Portland. His father left when he was 2 Years old.When under Financial strain the family moved to De Pere, Wisconsin, Fort Wayne, Indiana and Stratford, Connecticut.
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hello and agan wecome to the aprture science computer aided enrchment center
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Hello, And Welcome To your doom. Hahaha.
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I like pie. Do you?
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you must run
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cake cake cake cake cake
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you must run but i have better idea
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Hi, vonflynee. It's 5:53. Please wake up, Your system is waiting for you.
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Good Morning, vonflyne. It's 5:53. Please wake up, Your system is waiting for you.
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Bonjour Waozzy
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You know... ah... i am realy realy happy cause all this thing that are happening to me right now are making me felling new sensations, to know that many people like my job just can make me felling well.
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You think your so perfect well your not your far from it
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Hello youmute lunatic
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Carbon has
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6 electrons
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Look, I... don't.. have the strenght... to live..... forever, if I need a new body I'm.. gonna transfer... inside.. of......you
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That was the first step on your journey.
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I have AIDS
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ygdscbygdbgyzbfyzggfyubdyuzb
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Someone from Sono Sin E is calling. You should answer it.
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Buy Francium
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another road ahead
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This is the yearmix of 2012
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i hope you D
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dsadasdasd
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hello followers sorey i hve ben gone so long. i am back and i will have i line up of videos for you soon. sincerely, thepower1112
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parece ser que los sujetos de prueba anteriores a usted estan volviendo a la vida, ese sin cara es mas guapo que tu
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Why are you a noob at this game
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Get to class
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I think I came!
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Summoners a loser
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Testing will commence shortly.
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Testing will now begin.
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You will now undergo a short relaxation sequence. Please relax and follow the audible instructions.
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Frequency 1
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Frequency 2
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Frequency 3
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Frequency 4
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Frequency 5
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Hello, and welcome to Frequency Science Laboratories.
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oh you pour thing let me kill you
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Oh. It's you. It's been a long time. I've been really busy, being dead.
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I see that you have been eating cake. It is not my cake. I hope you realize that. My cake is a lie.
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Oh, your still alive
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Flick the Bean
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wait till you here the drop
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Andrew is a ho
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Hola Leo. Im Glados and I have a message of your girlfriend. She loves you
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This has been a SkullBoy203 music production
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Skull Boy Productions
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alerta wagner llamando
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Mister Michael, disculpe Wagner te esta llamando
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oh its you it's been a long time
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hello travis krake i am glados
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hello travis krake this is glados and i would like you to play portal 2 right now or i will kill you tonight!!!
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Oh, it's you. How have you been? It's been such a long time after you murdered me.
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Matt, I am Glados
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hi you ar alive because you are dead
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hola bienvenido a aperture science sujeto numero 1474 es hora de empezar con las pruebas interactivas de aperture science
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Hello, I like T-F-2
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look out side your window brianna
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Boiler Up
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you filthy slut. come sit on my face.
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You filthy slut. I want you to stick your tongue in my juicy cunt as I sit on your face.
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This cake is a lie!
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installng operation system through the cloud go bake cake to kill time
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Hello there. I believe the Utah State University folks are the greatest the Earth has ever seen. Just saying.
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www.talkingonline.com/,
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You look fat in that suit.
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Fresh e-mail from cyberspace
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You have received a new e-mail. Straight from the cyberspace.
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Noobs
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Hello, My name is Alvin
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Attention All Agdem. The trials will soon commence. If you wish to participate, enter the ranks in the Arena and prove you are worthy to rise!
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hello ozgur, welcome home
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You and your dog is going to be very vey sorry
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YO ARE FAT
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I want to bang you hard
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Give me something new
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i need to compute
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this is not the thing
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Welcome, you have been selected for our experiment. Please follow the instructions, or you will be putting your own life in danger.
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Welcome to the state of trance
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science is awesome
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hello and welcome to the FESCO investment video!
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hello and welcome to the FESCO investment video
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MOTHER JUST KILLE MAN,PUT A GUN IN YOUR HEAD
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hello and welcome to the investment video
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I'm sorry dave, I can't do that
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hallo gentoo
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Right away sir.
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Anal sex
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your battery is charging now
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Hallo, mein Name ist GLaDOS.
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hello poxo, im going to gank you
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OBSERVATION; the observation core observes everything.
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hi wow are you?
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Grady, prepare to die.
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Howdy howdy howdy chupacabra mutha pucka
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Hallo Georg
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