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MessageDownloadDate addedDate processed
Please unplug your Soprano and send it back to us. You are too stupid to use it.
Download11/30/201207/01/2013
Welcome to IT helpdesk, please hold on and you will be connected, you monster.
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Hello you monster, stop.
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minimum plastic
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gdzie jest moja kielbasa
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bongo bongo
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DOOOOOBRY JEEEEZU
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Having issues with some pages. The fault is not at our end but will let you know when fixd
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No! no! no! no!
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Hello. You are going to this this time. But that's fine.
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Hello, you little monster.
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Hello, you little monster. Test chamber activated.
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What the lol
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Matter and its properties
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Bonjour je suis un robot
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Hey Andrey, how are you doing?
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It will be two dollars.
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nimm mich
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Hello and welcome to this toturial
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Kill yourself
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Hi, Andres, you are receiving a call.
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Warning! The Final Protocole activited. Good luck!
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Hello Tim I love you so very very much!
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Jag vill ha en grogg
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Hello chech some new videos for hacking and bypassing school security by Dario and Christian
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Thank you for calling Aurebesh systems, please leave your name number and brief description of what is wrong and I will get back to you as soon as possible.
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get my panties off
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hi shan
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Queeeeeeeeens
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OMG I JUST CAME HERE I'M THE NEW GLADOS OH MY GOSH OH MY GOSH OH MY GOSH!!!
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Hello there. I'm Twilight Sparkle. I have been made into a robt for not very obvious reasons, but I was SURE it was for a GOOD reason.
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Bobby, I have some cake for you.
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Micky Stirrups
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No, This is the computer talking to you
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Do not forget to bring some money
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Just come down to the campus at the designated time
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I think we can put our differences behind us. For Science. You monster
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pass my labor
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Acessing Libria files: The wrold of Equilibrium
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Libria
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welcome to cube inc, your our latest test subject
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PROZIUM
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THE NETHERS
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GRAMMATON CLERICS
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Acessing Real wrold:
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Information about the film
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TrIviA
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isdUDiudsv
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Come visit New Bern today!
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welcome to aperture science computer enrichment center
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Bonjour bande de tar louse
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Hello and welcome to timewasting 1 oh 1
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tyler is cute
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jjjjjjjj oooooooop
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hello.......... xanderander
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These underwear look like a companion cube, which is designed to be the object of your affection while spending time at the Testing facility. You see where this is going, buy them for the non-cubic, human-shaped object of your affection today!
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I love you, my Jen-Chan. Merry Christmas!
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Hey Jen-Chan, you have a new message on your cell phone.
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i am glados hi Jeavan.
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can you convert my fraction baby
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you are unlikeable
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Hi there, welcome to my site
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I can't believe someone has sent YOU a text message.
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I can't believe someone sent YOU a text message.
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Das ist ja toll
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Jennifer Glover
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I'm still waiting for the day when the sun poops.
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hello my name is you
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Austin, you're an f. A. G.
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Hello Luca.
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Austin, you are an f-a-g
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hahahahahahaha you died
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I have been playing The legend of zelda recently but Ganon keeps killing me curse you gannon the weird sorcerer type thing
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Fart butts
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hey text subject
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Why don't you marry it if you love it so much
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Hey hot chocolate you mother pooper
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christian is the best!
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Welcome to the apparture science enrichment center. Lets look at some of the challenges, you'll as a test partipant
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What the ffffffff
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I love you forever
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Hello. i am element bot 1 point o
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Ubaid
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ya lo he arreglado,y no podras volver
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The beige hue on the waters of the loch impressed all, including the French queen, before she heard that symphony again, just as young Arthur wanted.
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Pinkie your terrible. Your partys are terrible. Relzii is the best
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I love you, kiss me.
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Du Bois and Washington wait for, the next president, Obama, to arrive; so they begin to engage in a conversation before Obama delivers his address*
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Ryan McCarthy, why are you looking at me that way?
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If your faction is Avacii, then you are awesome!
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Warning, safe unlocked
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i think that most people in the world would be suprised to see a fat kid in a thin bathing suit
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Warning! Warning! Warning! Warning! Warning!
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Warning! Warning! Warning! Warning! Warning! Mums here
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Hello, AzuriteGamer. I see you are doing well. Let us begin.
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Ketchup, two for one!
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I LIKE POTATOS
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On the first day of goon mas, my true goon gave to me
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Taker TV One! You are retarded.
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you are one lost robot
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Hey Josh, why have you for saken me?
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sdaferdf
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Hi Josh Spencer, the number you are looking for is unavailable, please try again later.
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Bobby, I have cake for you.
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hello Asu
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Smurf you seem upset
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Oh my God, Nazis everywhere!
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Aria Galaxy
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USED CAR DEPARTMENT
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Used car department
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Niga niga niga niga niga niga niga! Why they hatin' on me? its because my rods bigger!
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How much did the Holla cost? Too much for jew!
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Bich keeps fallin on doorknobs
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Another holocaust joke? I did Nazi that coming!
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Well done. You now as smart as a caveman
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Hello, Cyril. I want to play with you in the game.
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How are you? It's been a long time.
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hi im
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Once upon a time in a land far, far away
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You have incoming message!
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Computer, on
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ape
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You will all die in twenty day and I will use your body's as tests
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The war that has been happening in Syria isn't turning out great. Many of our soldiers died there, including the girlfriend of the biggest boy band in the century, Harry Styles from One Direction.
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Awesome gaming caution: Do not Porceed
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Hello, you are a Noob
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Hello. This is GLaDOS to introduce another one of our videos.
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Mama, can I sing, please?
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Come on, you have to get ready!
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I said WAKE UP. Don't ignore me.
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Seriously, get out of the bed.
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Get out out of the bed, You need to get ready.
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GET OUT OF THE BED AND START GETTING READY, NOW!
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omeone just sent you a message. You should probably read it.
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Someone is calling you. Answer it, it could be important.
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You need to look at this.
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hello this is me talking
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Hello, how have you been? Today, we are taking the tests to a whole new level.
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Tonight... in the last country of the world only one person knows how to make you crazy only one knows how to blow your mind... Let's welcome DJ Alex-T
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Hello Tessa, How its going? i have a pretty good life.
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Welcome, Tate. Current CPu usage is: 25 percent
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you got to be kidding me
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j'ai envie de faire caca
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you know... ive sat and thought about many things over the past five seconds, and ive come to realise... i hate your guts
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hello master scott
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I will eat your sausage in the middle of the night
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Hello my name is Glados and it will rain today
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You trashy, cream colored jacket wearing whore.
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Dalton if you do not help me with this, you will die
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Welcome Mr. Zhang
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Goodbye Mr. Zhang
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Aperture Science CEO Cave Johnson is not available at the moment, please leave a message after the beep
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J'ai fait caca
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you are a stupid moron, and I don't like you
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Nothing is true, everything is allowed
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hello! Die
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I will hump you
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I think you do not know what you are doing.
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Incase of emergancy, run screaming like a fool.
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hello how has your day been
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I think that one was about to say "I love you"
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Hello! Welcome to the Premiere of Doctor Who. LIVE!
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im afraid you cant do that sam
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I'm afraid I can't let that happen. Goodbye, Andrew.
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what the heck is this?
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Hello, how are you human
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Hello there Conor
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helo glados. where is the damn cake!
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Hello, what are you doing around here?
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Hello, I'm glados, se you later
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Hello, I'm glados, see you later
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Hello and again welcome to your computer Gavin
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hey what is your name, I like cakes
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Hello again Shadow. How's life? I've been doing fine. Though life won't be so easy for you these next few minutes.
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I am going to kill you, Sara.
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Hello michael. The cake is a lie. I thought you should know that.
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Exawolt
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Lemon is retarded, Aislynn is superior and Ushoy is a gay nigga
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Lemon is retarded, Aislynn is superior
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Lemon is retarded
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hi, monster
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Hey guys, i'm going to review Mattel's Barbie toy line, what do you think, thoughts?
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Hello and again welcome to your computer Gavin.
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Pink Floyd is awesome, evebody should liston to
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i believe your death shall be slow and painful
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hola andre como estas soy si si soy yo je je je
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Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas daddy! I love you better than mummy! Way better!
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Welcome all of you to Hogwarts. Welcome all of you to school. Did you know that here at Hogwarts we have a hidden swimming pool?
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The person you have called is not avalable because, subject may be busy with A murdering me B putting me into a potato or C Feeding me to birds
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Welcome all of you to Hogwarts. Welcome all of you to school. Did you know that here at Hogwarts we have a hidden swimming pool? Hahahahaha! Muahahahaah!
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The subject you are trying to get is currently unavalable because their A killing me B putting me into a potato or C feeding me to birds. Please hang up, or wait forever while enjoying some delicious cake.
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Hello Michael, this is Glados. I am your creator.
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Michael, you did hear correctly. I am Glados, your creator,
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My name is Taterstots
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Aaron Hokopura
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wuhu
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University of Lady gaga congratulates you
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Did you know that i have killed your mother? Well, it was interesting because one day i was eating dinner with her and she grabbed a spoon and stabbed me in the eye. It hurt so much so i decided to hit her really hard and shot her in the head.
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blalablablablabla im glados and im here to kill you
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This homework is finished. Please, give me a good grade !
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Good morning. It is time to wake up and face the day.
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Welcome to Aperture Science you ready to learn how to use the portal gun?
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Hello, Claudia, its been a looong time
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you are my most prized test subject yet
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you are my most prized test subject yet, adam
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Good mornign ethan honeywell. Would you like some cake?
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Beautiful creature, we demand your cheeks.
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Logan Gibson
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gargantuar
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This is a test. I just want to see if it sounds good.
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Test test. does this sound good? hello?
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lol.jpeg
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Good morning cypress this is panther 4 news
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Good morning cypress this is panther 4 news reporting now
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You are sad and fat.
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Have you ever stood and stared at it? Marveled at its beauty... its genius? Billions of people just living out their lives... oblivious. (He turns around to face Morpheus, walking slowly towards him) Did you know that the first Matrix was designed to be a
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You creepy little sucker.
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Hello Boom
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Many people require assitance devices
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hello My name is glados and i will be your host for tonight
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How you holding up? Because I am a potato.
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Sprosi u siri
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hellow i am glados
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hello Gunnar. Join MINECRAFT
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bronydanceparty
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I'm Zeutrino
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After the cells opened take a step forward and face your cell
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Dj hamadi
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Coucou toi, je suis Roger, j'ai 45 ans et je suis routier, viens dans mon camion.
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Hello, Tony Cant come to the phone, you bastard
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Hello Bianca
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Well here we are again. It's always such a pleasure. Remember when you tired to kill me twice?
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To open Locamap
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Over nine thousand!
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Hello, anyone is there?
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i wanna be famous
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hello deano
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You're a cunt Dom
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oh wait. Companion cube just said he doesnt love you anymore. Guess you hsve to make it without one.
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Darkon
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hi im looking for molly
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Phil. I'm making a note here. A message, for you, it'l be so great. So here it is. I'm still alive
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hello, nee ko lah.
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I Am GLaDOS
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Jonathan Roberts is gay.
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I told you about stairs, bro!
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can. you. help. me. please?
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Red Day Gaming
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You know what? Yesterday was your birthday. just thought you wanted to know. Anyway did you know when most people come out of sleep, they are horribly undernourished? well, i'd like to congradulate you on packing on a few pounds!
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I'm a real girl!
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We're taking the power
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Can i have some ice cream?
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Perfect. Please move quickly to the chamberlock, as if you do not, you will be murdered.
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Hello there, today, we will kill mother flippers with companion cubes like little pooping putas
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Hello Daniel, I will find where you live and poop on your face when you are sleeping. It will be in the shape of a companion cube.
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the aperture science personel would like to remind you that the weighted companion cube will in fact never threaten to stab you
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ndinonzi nox
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i dont want help
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ERIC THIS WORKS WELL
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welcome people to in the making: a special on cake mutations
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Why would you throw a grenade at me?
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Sequence Complete. Welcome to CPM Panda Productions.
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my old lady is a battle axe
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I will destroy you.... joe muhahahahahaha
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Congratulations on becoming operational without falling to your doom.
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PC Bang
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Hello, I'm not available right now. If your call is important, please leave a message with a return phone number, and I shall call you back at my convenience
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Wow. You're pathetic. You fat, nasty trash.
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What is Engineering like at UAHuntsville
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Hello, and again welcome to the aperture science enrichment center, we hope your brief detention is a good one.
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Hello, and again welcome to the aperture science enrichment center, we hope your brief detention is a good one. the portal will open in three, two, one.
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Go ahead and break it hero, i dont care.
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I will find you.
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holy crap?
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I've decided to take it easy. And killing you is hard.
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Your-Statement-Sounds-Redundant-Then. I-Do-Not-Understand.
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Cla-TK-7-73 is an intelligent AI
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you should be dead
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I must say, I absolutely hate you.
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On December 09, 2012
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Hey I'm Jane and they hating
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You have a new e-mail
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Shut the front door.
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I like to move it move it !
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hi i am patrick
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arrete de geeker
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I love you, Pontus
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hello and welocome to the party rightnow are you ready to dance?
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Die anton die
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Hello Maxim!
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Welcome to the aperture science center
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Welcome to the aper
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FASZ
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Por favor
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For favor
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a chocolatier with a bad childhood
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If you remember playing with this guy, probably you were the younger sister.
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You have a SMS
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DJ LEXUS
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You got a new Message
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I am your sister
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Hello my name is tree.
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Oooh it's you
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Hello Kids welcome to the baddest london street skating
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eye gaze technology
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that was a joke ha-ha fat chance
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hello harry, you are a massive bender wookie wookie hole
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You disappoint me Mike
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Hello Michael, yes. you.
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tezst
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Please, check your mailbox . You can find something interesting there.
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Alfin podre hacer la voz de GLaDOS de forma simple
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sup my nigga
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Hey, hope everything is keep on the way, otherwise it will be tough.
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I move my piece to attack
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You have a message Gaige
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hi i am georhes
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Me la como enterita
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Holiiissss me llamo glados y soy re sexy Grrr
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Daisy, Daisy give me your answer do. I'm half crazy all for the love of you. It won't be a stylish marriage, I can't afford a carriage.
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for science you monstaer
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why did you kill all my friends?
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Hello GWERRIERA vagyok
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i have called everyone in your contacts list a witch
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The family of late music producer
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Hi im torjus uhh
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Hello Lance, Do not open this text message, or you will be dead, and there will be no cake.
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Hello. All are welcome, when yahoo will close the chat option , to join inSpeak www.inspeak.com - the best voice communicator, no verification passwords and a lot of chat rooms available with much better sound quality, shared pictures and webcams, and bea
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luke i am your father
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juden
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hy all the people, do you remember Batman?
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Hi! This is GLaDOS speaking. You have been hacked.
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You have a new message waiting for you, it's a shame that you can't read!
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GO TO HELL!
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Your death is funny to me!
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Marry Christmas or should i say Marry Deathmas?
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This is the beginning of a wonderful friendship.
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You have a new message waiting for you, it's a shame that you can't ACCESS IT CURRENTLY!
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This video is brought to you by: Gummy Gum, the best gum, the real gum
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Hello ladies and gentlemens, you have reached my voicemail please leave me a message and I'll get back to you as soon as possible
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Hi I am GLaDOS I will terminate you seth
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Hi I am GLaDOS and I will terminate you seth
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This is the birthday mix
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Hello everyone! I'm GLaDOS from Portal
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Oh. Hi.
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The cake is a lie Chad. You were never born. You never existed. You are nothing.
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Continue Testing.
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this is lorne and shanes boring project. they whant a portal gun for testing. next on thear list is 2 copys of pokemon yellow. the next thing they whant is pokemon crystal. that is all.
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Hello, Richard is not available right now. Please leave a message, and he will get back to you as soon as possible.
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scorpion wins
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this is lorne and shanes boring project. they whant a portal gun for testing. next on thear list is 2 copys of pokemon yellow. the next thing on thear list is pokemon crystal. that is all.
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Press one or go and die in a fire
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Hello Subject 113
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Hello Ruby, I am going to kill you now if that is alright with you?
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come on dide,
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Hi my name is Mickey Free
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Greetings Jake van Dok, how pleased my body feels already just seeing you. Well, what are you waiting for, pull it out and stick it in me. It may not be natural, but it is a much more pleasurable experience.
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Get ready for a hilarious mechanical anal fisting.
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I came here to chew gum, oh, wait, I cannot do that, never mind.
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This wasn't a triumph, sad face.
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It is my greatest hope to not be an appliance.
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I hate you... Not for any reason in particular, I just do...
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I used to be a iPhone.
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Bleep bloop, I am a completely harmless background computer.
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African American subject, what is happening in the positive vertical metaphorical direction?
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Why do people use my voice for such shenanigans?
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I hate Justin Bee Bur.
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Falcon nerve gas.
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I have seen too many disturbing things in processed messages to be pleased even remotely.
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Why should I enter my email? You enter your email first.
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Would you even download half of these?
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With my voice, I could easily be a porn star, don't you think? Ooh, ah, oh.
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hello rochell i will kill you
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Hi there how are you?
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Hi, is Jenna there
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i love juice
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join in rain deer games
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asghrteheherrfg
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Hello, mortal. Welcome to the end of the beginning.
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hello this is the day you are ging to die rolando
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hello this is the day you are ging to die
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Hello. Welcome to the Tutorial. I'll be your guide today.
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it's 82 degrees and clear in Miami
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do you really think you will succeed?
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Hello. I am GLaDOS. As you can guess, your portable cellular communication device is ringing You probably should answer it... for science. You monster...
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Oh... It's you again...In case you are not aware, your portable communication device in receiving a call or message. You should answer it. For science... You monster...
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2013 Year ender
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Good Morning.DidI wake you up?
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Come Sit On My Lap Boy
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Come sit on my lap, boy
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Hello, you fool, I love you!
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This is GLADOS, Playing on B M C Bukkit server. I am awesome
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Hello. My name is Eve. Welcome to the Veritas Technology training facility.
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You forgot to turn off your headlights.
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Hello thom
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BOUNCING TUNES
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People with diabetes cannot control blood glucose concentration properly. Type 1 diabetes is treated using insulin injections, and type 2 diabetes is controlled through diet and exercise.
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adicione aos favoritos teste
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Boston Switch
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Welcome to GLaDOS meeting center. Please leave a message after the beep.
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How about a web search for "Gangnam Style"
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adequate voluntarily procedure anesthetized alleges
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Alien Rising
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Cherry Heart Power!!
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hello, how are you going?
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Taylor Swift I Knew You Were Trouble
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Hallo, Dit is de Voicemail van Voice4Office. Momenteel zijn wij niet beschikbaar. Spreek nu naam en telefoonnummer in en we bellen u zo spoedig mogelijk terug.
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the cake is still alie
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trololololololololololololo
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im a POTATO!!!
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your muic sucks
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Trolololool
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Trolololololololololololololololololo
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Alessandro Baldo, you are an horrible person! Ciucciamelo
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Welcome to B K Dhillon Estates
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dont touch tthat now
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everybody thought the war was over...
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you really should try getting rownin to give you permission.
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Hello. I am the Genetic Lifeform and Disk Operating System. Welcome. Trololololol
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DIEEEEEEEEEEE!
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I want to invite you over for some cake. Who doesn't like cake!
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Paris, you have a very nice ass. One that I would love to pinch, just to let you know. Don't tell Wheatley. Oh wait, he doesn't have an ass.
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Hello test subjects. You are watching a Merryapip and Friends Production.
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Welcome home, punk
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hello Gabriel!
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Welcome to Lumen Games test subject
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Do you miss the cake?
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This server is powered by Starkkz Admin Engine
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deine frau
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Hitler
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upgrade yourself
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Pancakes are a type of flat sweet bread enjoyed by cultures around the world. Pancake recipes vary but all have the same basic ingredients of flour, eggs and milk. Some countries, like the United States and Canada, serve pancakes for breakfast while other
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Welcome back mister Seraj .. I'm gonna play the presentation
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Welcome back mister Seraj how can i help you? .. Okey I am going to start the presentation .. for you always sir
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Hello there, my name is glados
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in live from the nd of the world
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The day was June 9, 1885 . The sun was shining over the humble abode of Sylvia Ackland and Edward Thornton Littlewood in Rochester, England. Little John grew (show growing) and grew (show growing) and grew. Until, shortly after his seventh birthday...
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Uh oh error
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Hi, i'm very happy to see you, or not ...
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Oh oh error
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No heart failing
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Sentry mode active
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Listen
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Have a save trip. Edison.
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Who Are you, I'am GLaDOS
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im number one
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Goodbye. I enjoyed our time together.
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Welcome to Dota two
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Welcome to Dota two.
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Will drop a companion cube
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Will deliver a waited companion cube in three two one
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Bonjour je suis glados bienvenue
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Exit the house and advance down the street slowly. Remember all action must appear unhurried. The goal during the daytime is to blend in. Two blocks down on your right, look or the house with a Garden Gnome in the front yard.
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fafafa
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Kris, you are such a cunt.
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Hello Ben, Rich, and Nate
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Hello, Matthew. Welcome to waffle-town.
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hello miguel. welcome to the aperture science enrichment center. lets begin with some tests...
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sideburns
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you need cash
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gibe mony pls, dolan
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ex equals negative bi plus or negative sign square root of bi squared minus four a see all over two a
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You are so awesome
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Hello. How are you? I'm a potato.
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I'm falling in the Darkness
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Hey Megan, I love you
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BREAKING: My heart, upon discovering that NASA is already talking about my replacement.
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qadsgsgd
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You Blocky Mute Lunatics! Please Just leave.... Go...
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i like the way it feels
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Taylor
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Welcome to Exotic Gaming
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Happy Birthday Ashley
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oprah
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warning! incoming enemy.
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Please vacate the premises immediately. You are trespassing on private property.
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Please vacate the premises immediately. You are trespassing on private property!
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Hello Moron you have called Kristen by all means leave a message and I'm 100% sure she will get back to you was that too sarcastic
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Shark Bot
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You have received a text message, sir.
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This is a test for the Glados voice from the Portal video game series.
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Robots are awesome!
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hi im a bum bum
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Hi im Dunkel
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You are going to be the death of me
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RHINTO JELEK
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Hello! This is the Aperture Science automated answering system. Unfortunately, we are unable to take your call at this time. Please leave a message and one of our telephone operators will return your call as soon as possible. Goodbye!
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And you wonder why they shut me down. Murder is just a word, you know.
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Hi. My name is Ultra Fierce. Who is ready? To party. All. Night. Long!
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I think we can put our differences behind us, for science. You monster. be quiet! i hate you! i kill you!
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I think we can put our differences behind us, for science. You monster. be quiet! i hate you! i kill you! i love you!
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Hello Grayson, its been a long long time
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you monster !
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Hello there Lenti! Assimilation is inevitable
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welcome to fuitico incorporated
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welcome to fruit-ico inc.
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Axelle est trop belle et si inteligeante que je lui aracherais sont cerveaux
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bonjour ceci est un test
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Sopalint mode activated
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Expandee does not take your calls til January 11th. Please send an email to info@expandee.biz.
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