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MessageDownloadDate addedDate processed
i am a wiener
Download10/24/201206/27/2013
my ass is hot
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nice tits
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hello wildfires today is (insert date here) and today is (insert name here)s birthday
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SSSSSSPPPPPPPPAAAAAAACCCCCCCCEEEEEEEE!!!!!
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Restarting Apache
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You're not just a regular moron. You wre designed to be a moron.
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And now you're going to die.
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Oh. hello you pathetic being. My name is Glados. You must be very bored right now. So here's the M B S show to add some colour to your meaningless life. now get back to testing.
Download10/24/201206/27/2013
Shannon
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Hello, Daniel. It's a phone call. For you. From someone. Answer it now. We're not done with testing yet.
Download10/24/201206/27/2013
Do you like pasta?
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Hello. and welcome to starcraft
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have you ever wondered what your name would sound like for the last time, well here it is, i'm going to kill you...chell
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I wonder how my daughter is doing?
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Hello How are You
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During this whole test program you thought I would never say your name Chell. Countinue the test subject 203409
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You are a great warrior man!
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Thank you for making a copy may I assist you further?
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The time is 12 O'Clock
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Hello. Let's kill people!
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Time for testing, Mister Noonan.
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hi wayne its time to test
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milandro santos
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wiseman is gay
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Hello, Thank you for calling Calle Law PLLC. We are here to serve you. Please leave your name and number and we will get back to you as soon as we can.
Download10/24/201206/27/2013
You don't like Clinica on Facebook
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Wake up. It's six forty-five am. You need to have a nutritious breakfast.
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i'v been waiting for you a long time benjamin
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Good morning. It's six forty-five a m, time to wake up. A nutritious breakfast is required to sustain a healthy energy level throughout the day. Your entertainment domestic animal also needs to release her undigested waste products. Hurry up.
Download10/24/201206/27/2013
I can't come to the phone right now. Leave a message, and it will be forwarded to the enrichment center.
Download10/24/201206/27/2013
well im bored.
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You don't get it: I won that bet.
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What is the U E?
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Hello. And welcome to your training session.
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Hello. And welcome to your training session Mako
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Hi! I'm GLaDOS and you are listening to Geek Talk
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Hi Daniel i will be your friend
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Ne trogai menya
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Oppan Gandam Style
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What are you doing now?
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just as good as those that are better than the best.
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Chelsea, I bet you think you are pretty funny. Too bad looks don't count. If they did, you would be the funniest girl alive. By the way, have you seen the cake? It isn't a lie. In fact the cake is the ultimate truth.
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Get of my lawn, you damn kids.
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pickle
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hola, mi nombre es felipe
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oh david, you are very very stupid
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hello there agent! time to die~!
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Chell and the Hero Cycle
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Mitt Romney wants another war
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Hello there, I'm Glados. I support Obama for president because Mitt Romney cannot be trusted
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Hello, Claudia
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the cake isn't a lie, tiemi... let's test you
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Have I lied to you? ...i mean, in this room
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Mitt Romney will eat your children.
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I am australian
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Hello Jay. be ready for your fate.
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You are listing to elitevip radio DJ EST Rap
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Democracy: the very best When nothing ever was Equality is my real test Freedom is my cause I will travel across our land Searching far and wide Each Person to understand The power that resides
Download10/24/201206/27/2013
Hello Ocean. Nerotoxin will be deployed in 5 4 3 2 1 goodbye
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Happy birthday Alden. The cake is a lie.
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Shiny Detected
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I saw a deer today and i had a boner
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can you get on with the song already
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I am GLaDOS. I weigh 10000 pounds!
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Don't be fany just get dance
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Obama is best pony
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HERES JOHNNY
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david, it is time, time to awaken
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What approach should I take for this statue? Cubic or organic?
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You're a pain in the ass
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ass hole
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PREPARE TO DIE EARTH SCUM
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Lyttelgeek Technology Support
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DO YOU WANT TO DIE
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are you alone in the house all naked and stuff
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this computer will self destruct in 10 seconds. counting down. 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 BOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!! Whoa that was so cool it kicked ass!
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Hello Josepha
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Hello Gerson, Welcome to Aperture
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psychiatric hotlines life simulator
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Hello Pablo, welcome to Aperture Science Facility, we ran out of designers recently... so you have your first job in your career. Congratulations.
Download10/24/201206/27/2013
Hello Mr. Freeman
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Hello there. Do I know you? Oh yes, I do.
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Testing Testing
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hola claudia que bes
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Tommy... together we shall work together to permantly delete Skrillex and bake him into a delicious cake... which is a lie.
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Had to be me. Someone else might have gotten it wrong
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I am commander shepard, and this is my favorite spot on the citadel
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Well you found me.
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I am always calm, except when you put me in a potato
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You are Simple minded idiots i cant even think of what to do with you
Download10/24/201206/27/2013
How many hours did you work this week Jesse?
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This is an automated message. Do not leave your home or shelter. Stay where you are and wait for further instructions.
Download10/24/201206/27/2013
You have Reached the Aperture Science laboratories. We are currently experiencing difficulties and unable to reach the phone. The problems may be the following: Curtis is murdering me again, Curtis is feeding me to birds or that idiot is blowing me up!
Download10/24/201206/27/2013
Alas, the word is not a wish-granting factory.
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Your mum took a shit in my ass
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Pourquoi tu me fait sa ?
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Get up Adam
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Hello please
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please subscribe and like the gameplay
Download10/25/201206/27/2013
Hello, Randy is not here, he is busy being a Hero.
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Hello are you okay?
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Ola sou glados se inscreva no canal de um like e siga no twitter
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Thank you for using the Arm-o-mat 3000
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dian
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hello world i'm glados
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What do you think your doing! Don't plug that little blue idiot into me.
Download10/25/201206/27/2013
Hi There, Anthony is unavailable at the moment as he is currently being subjected to Aperture Portal Test. By all means leave a message for the subject.
Download10/25/201206/27/2013
Oh, hi. So, how are you holding up? BECAUSE I'M A POTATO!
Download10/25/201206/27/2013
Jason, You have a message, Respond!
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dude i
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Hi There, Yohann is unavailable at the moment as he is currently being subjected to Aperture Portal Test. By all means leave a message for the subject.
Download10/25/201206/27/2013
Bonjour, je suis ta dominatrice virtuelle!
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Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Ryan, happy birthday to you.
Download10/25/201206/27/2013
I'm okey,joel...
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Ohh......i'm okey Joel....
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Will self-destruct in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.
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Tekken Tag Tournament 2 has been confirmed for Wii U eShop download in Japan. Download is 6280 yen (retail cost 6980 yen) and requires more than 16.7 GB of space.
Download10/25/201206/27/2013
how much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
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xevents
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Hello. i am glados. i kill you
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Doobon
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There is a call for you. Perhaps you should answer the phone. Today.
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What? I'm not mean, I just want to kill you
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Hello my name is glados, i hope we will be good parthners in future
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hello my name is matthew
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Welcome to the game deign virtual tour. Here you will find important information relating to game design.
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The Aperture Regular 1530-watt 1-person elevator is broken, please use the maintenance elevator.
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non, rien de rien. Non, je ne regrette rien
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i do
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This is the automated voice message for Ford
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Hello and welcome to the game design virtual tour. Here you will be taken on a journey through an unprecedented amount of information.
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Hello. The subject you are trying to reach is not available at the moment. Please try again later.
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You Are fukkin cwel
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You have reached 4 8 2 4 9 8 7 Please leave a message
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THE KEY OF CAUTION
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"By gum, I've got the answer!" "They want my bacon slice by slice "To sell at a tremendous price! "They want my tender juicy chops "To put in all the butcher's shops! "They want my pork to make a roast "And that's the part'll cost the most! "They want my
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By gum, I've got the answer They want my bacon slice by slice To sell at a tremendous price! They want my tender juicy chops To put in all the butcher's shops! They want my pork to make a roast And that's the part'll cost the most! They want my sausages i
Download10/25/201206/27/2013
Everything is a lie. Even me. I don't even exist. And you are fat!
Download10/25/201206/27/2013
Hello. you have reached the answering machine for Sterling Page. Please leave him a message here, or if you like send a text.
Download10/25/201206/27/2013
What on earth are you doing? Are you retard or something?
Download10/25/201206/27/2013
mais mon ami deteste vacanve parce qu'il ne peut pas voir ses amis
Download10/25/201206/27/2013
Do you think siri is hot?
Download10/25/201206/27/2013
Hello this is cat and kix gaming with another video enjoy if you can
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ladies and gentlemen, we present you, doctor vodka tini
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gsgfgfdgdfgdfgd
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Nikola Tesla
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TRLOLOLOL
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I heard you like mudkips.
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your life is a lie Heather Botta
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This is a test, oh yes
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greetings, specimen. your trainging starts now.
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pucca loves garu
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20 percent cooler
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it needs to be about twenty percent cooler
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annabelle your testing begins now
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robotrap robo trapp trap
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emergency stop operated
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Ninjas love Indie Games
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Hello, test subject. Do you want some cake?
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In this test, you either die jumping over that impossibl to pass jup, or sit there and wait until you die for the rest of your life. Wow. unbelievable! you surpassed that 200 foot casm! Now, can you jump int this deadly pit?
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Rise and shine!
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Trick or Treat Heres your treat it is Neuro Toxin
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Romeo O Romeo. Wherefore art thou, Romeo?
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well that's no problem i'll get out of here in no time
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Finally, my own office to myself
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Hello, James. This is the intelligence bureau, We are investigating the premature suicide of teens.
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Hello i am an idiot.
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Hi stupid
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Welcome to the Aperture Science Testing And Facilities
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you will die
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I take it up the hole
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TEst something
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Due to technical difficulties you have been Temporally displaced
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Get in my belly
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Due to technical difficulties you have been Temporally displaced. Please make you way to the Time Rift located currently in Kelburn to prevent your timeline becoming unstable. We apologise for the inconvenience
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welcome to native 71
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this test is for the science of testing
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jhaysonyxx on the mix
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Hello jordan how are you doing?
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it is time to clock in and resume your toil. this is what you get for not being smarter, too bad.
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Give me a second I, I need to get my story straight My friends are in the bathroom Getting higher than the Empire State My lover she's waiting for me Just across the bar My seats been taken by some sunglasses Asking 'bout a scar And I know I gave
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bflo
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do you know where i can find bflo
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I am the number one smartest life form on earth why would i want you
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I am the number one smartest life form on earth
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Who are you and why are you here
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No!! You will take the cake and you will like it, Storm!!
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What do you mean you want waffles?
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Storm!! Put down the portal gun this instant!!
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Hello. This is Alfred. Please call me back at this number when you deem it convenient. Thank you.
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Shut up Storm!!
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Oh just shut up
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Trololololololo
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Hello, Luke.
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hola soy jorge
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Your name is not maccus
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casey float your casper ass over here
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Dom you left a floater in the toilet
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eid dna olleH!
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hello master, i am your laptop a i and will assit you with anything you need. oh and i will destroy the bug next to you
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That girl is a monster
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hey retard you better work you piece of shit
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Shut the fuq up page
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I think you should all die in a fire
Download10/25/201206/27/2013
Kendall, you have a text message
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Kendall Harris, runs this shit.
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i kill you emanuel
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Hello Sing Snappers, it is the final week of challenges. It has been fun listening to all of your music. Thank you.
Download10/25/201206/27/2013
Report the animal bite or law enforcement will be called
Download10/25/201206/27/2013
hello r u 4 reel
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In the grim darkness of the future there is only war
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Hello and welcome to the aperture science minecraft testing division
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This is an insignificant walk on the wild side
Download10/26/201206/27/2013
I have pointy nipples
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I already fixed it, and you are NOT coming back
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message recieved. you've got mail.
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hello sem you are weird love glados
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wheatly you moron asshole
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Incoming mail waiting for your attention
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victoria
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Record your message after the tone.
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Hello and welocme to
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Musikki Social Player
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alex is awesome
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You have recieved a text.
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welcome to imprima emergency report
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Welcome to Im prima Emergency Technical Support. Please Press one for I Rooms Technical Support. Please press two for I T Techincal Support.
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bollocks
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Hank Peck is calling you. Dont't answer.
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technical support
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SAM PRICE
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Hello, and welcome to Collin Craft. You really should be here.
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Welcome to Collin Craft. You really should be here.
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Plus de vie
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There you are, you know you are going to pay for what you did to me
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uuuuuuuuuuuuuu
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oh my god it's dj special k
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My name is not maccus
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HA!
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Ok so insted of the video Jordan said. There is his new main channel video. He forgot about that silly him.
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Vatikanet
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Do you know why my hair is so soft and silky? I believe it was a mechanism for me to calm and nurture you into a better place.
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Hello there? How are you?
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laideyx and gen
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Hello there, how have you been. I've been really busy being dead, you know, after you murdered me.
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no voy a abrir esa pagina
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Please stop what you're doing and get out
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portal will open
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Dammm...I can never EVER get my socks on due to a lack of feet
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Hello, I am glad that you are still alive
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I'm testing this shit
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Pingas
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Hello world. All your base are belong to us.
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Welcome Everyone
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ciao a tutti rmerdoni
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ciao a tuttiii
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The baconator
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your son of a portal gun
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This is amazing
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I can't say it but, I love you Hanne
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hello gibbon face
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finn you didnt continue the series now you will die
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You are now watching The Day Vlogs 20th episode!
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Long before cars and lights, there lived a big lumberjack with a long beard down to his chest, as well as bushy eyebrows partially covering his eyes. He always wore a red checkered buttoned shirt with a white blouse underneath. He lived in a small logged
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Long before cars and lights, there lived a big lumberjack with a long beard down to his chest, as well as bushy eyebrows partially covering his eyes. He always wore a red checkered buttoned shirt with a white blouse
Download10/26/201206/27/2013
Legendary Item Detected
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mesclando en vivo en camelbak
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ACX
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you're listening to mag nos essential mix
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hunky guy
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hello again. if you liked this
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hello again. if you liked this video, please subscribe to Blue Fungi Gaming for more. Also, please take the time to view other videos such as Minecraft or more Portal. Please enjoy.
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build a house
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Hello justice
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Como Parable
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If your happy and you know it
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My little pony, what a good show that it. I LOVE PONIES!
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Hello My name is david
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Lexi, if you don't, I'll kill your family.
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hello, Noah how are you, ready to begin the test?
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I will not
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Hello Grace. I am going to kill you.
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hello devan. you are going to feel mentally reinvigurated in three two one.
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I am logged on to the site for at least eight hours a day
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Hello, this is Martin. I connected myself to an artifical intelligence in computer. Now I live only in network.
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Welcome to Cloud 9, please enjoy your stay.
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This is the reality, wake up and smell the starbucks
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This is the reality, wake up and smell the starbucks you human
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you are homeless. nobody likes you. fatty fatty
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Welcome to Cloud 9. please enjoy your stay.
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jhjhj
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Hello Evan, How are you. Have a good time
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Hello, it's been a long time mother phucker
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Es hora del concurso furia latina para participar registrense en la pagina
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open gangam style!
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Hello I like applesauce
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dasdasdasd
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Take the lemons!
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dad please
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i like sinep
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Hey everyone
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ritmo latino
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EHHHHHHHHHHHH SEXEH LADEH OP OP OP OP OPPAN GANGNAM STYLE
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Studio Konpeito
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Incoming email
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lionell
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Hello , i am dmitrik !
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Hello cody onepickaxeleft and chel welcome to apenture you will die here!
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Hello cody one pickaxe left and chel welcome to apenture you will die here!
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XD-001 a bird of shadows... How dull.
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Verifying password. Welcome user.
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hai how are you
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Smelly Johnson
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I love you. You know who you are. Actually, you don`t. But I do.
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kandela ebatsi ditut Ahahahahah
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hy ben
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Andrew, when you finish the testing, you will get cake.
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Simulan na Ang Laban
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Turn left at the roundabout
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Gabi
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the cake is a lie,stop the test an back home
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No Problem Lisa, Anything else I can help you with today.
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The world economic crisis
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Hey, its me! The owner is joining!
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Hey, its, me! An, Admin, Is, Joining, The, Server! Oh, And, Look, It's, The, Owner!
Download10/27/201206/28/2013
Do you hear that? That's the sound of the Neurotoxin Emitters, emitting Neurotoxin.
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Visionary
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Good Evening Bubba, and Happy Birthday. Since your fifty, you've been randomly chosen to play LETS MAKE A DEAL!!
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Je suis la nadou
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i hear soft thingd
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i hear soft things
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Hello Lauren it is time to wake upp Now.
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My voice is superior to Stephen Hawkings in every way.
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Hallo du Arschloch!
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You are listening to article productions dot coe dot u k
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I love hetalia!
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Ah, hello there, Krisper.
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esdfgkhlo
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Black MEsa
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Hello Amitai
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caleb will die of a tragic death. no one will care
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Hello, I am glados, remeber poen gangam style.
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hello, remember open gangam style
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Hi I'm a circle
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Welcome to windows 7
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Hey, motherfacker. Listen to me, or die. Put dispenser here.
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Hello, welcome to the aperture science technology enrichment centre
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Hello tester I will kill you
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o you want to eat or die ?
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do you want to eat or die ?
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You are watching frope its not saturday
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Hello. I am going to test you now. For STDs. OPPA GANGNAM STYLE!!
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alexis dit bonjour
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CHOOSE YOUR EVENT
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gangnam style
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Test subject Rachel is currently unavailable for human interaction. you may leave her a message, which she may or may not receive if she is in space. Potato.
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I have a inflamed larynks
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How about some cake?
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Why are you so dumb, please fall of the cliff to your left.
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OH hi,and welcome to the aperture science!
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aseeeeeeeeeee
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billy is sexy
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Train Simulator
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the aperture science forehead containment vessel
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The one thing that separates us from them is motivation, the will to make our self's stand out, and we will rise to to show them who we are.
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huehuehuehue
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You are a Horrible person
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Lukas, maybe you should marry Zero when you love him so much
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why r u doing that?
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Total Dragon is a new game on Youtube where you can fight with others
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Please note that playing Modern Warefare 3 may result in the termination of your life force.
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Hey john, that burp was gross
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You have ruined science, you monster.
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You have reached Will's phone, I tried to kill him with a pit of fire.It was fun. Do you want to leave a message? If you do, I will give you some of this delicious cake.
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You've reached Dawn McLauren I am unable to take your call, please leave your name and number and I'll get back to you as soon as I can
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Hello fred, how are you feeling today?
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This is a nightmare dawn production
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hello ! how are you today
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Hi sebastian, your dumb.
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Hello and welcome to the Aperture Science Computer Aided Enrichment Center.
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You have receved a new text message
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Se ha detectado un grupo de inocentes retrasados, por favor, repetid primero de primaria.
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hello cyptor
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you have recieved a new text message.
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You have recieved a new text message!
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Hello, my name is Bob.
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twenty one
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Hey Alan do you what to play halo
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i am not
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i like evil pie in tacos when they scream boogy boogy boogy potato
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Go Gee Tah
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Go Gee Tuh
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Die!
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Salut Kissifrote
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Stickman Origins: The Man with the Red Cap
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mike has a small ween
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Invalid Password
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i wan't your sex!
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One you begin brain storming, you don't know where the lightening will strike.
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I thought you were my enemy, while all along you were my friend.
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oh its you its been a long time how have you been ive been very being dead because you murdered me you monster
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oh its you its been a long time how have you been ive been very being dead
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oh its you its been a long time
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I like you, Noah.
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Hello, we are not in at the moment, but please leave your name, number at Aperture Testing Initiate number and we will process you shortly.
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vlaidlav how are you
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Welcome, to the 2012 Halloween dance.
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Itzel's Quince
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HELLO, and WELCOME to the Yogscast!!!!!
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I Love You Scott, I really do. even though i cant fell love.
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sssssssssssssspppppppppppppaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaace
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I Love You Scott. I really do. even though i cant fell love.
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Why would you do that? That is just wrong.
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That's just wrong to do that in public.
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Hey guys and girls, this is Elliot saying Hey.
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What is wrong with this world, ive been here for 100 years and not being rusty like other robots.
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julia likes glados very much
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welcome to your laptop. may i help you?
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Hello, i am the one and only turbo Daniel and im am horny
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hey! hey! someone is calling to you! answer, you lazy one!
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you got a text message to your wireless mobile phone machine.
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i hate cats they are stuppid and ugly just like you
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You really can't stay
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Hello Jimbo. You are test subject 1337. Have a nice test.
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Tu as un nouveau message
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Hello, i'm Glados
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Welcome to the broadcast. This is Look Around by The Red Hot Chili Peppers
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Playing File September 16th 2012
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we will never let you sleep
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Genome Sqequnce Complete
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Bienvenue dans l'Asile !
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How are you Eric?
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Oh...Your back...Great
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Eric, how are you I like you and I hope ones you can be my mate and fight right next to me. Kenny dont be sad, I love you too, but eric is more special, sry bro.
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no, no, NO! I WOULD NOT LIKE TO FALL IN LAVA! cobblestone! coblestone! coblest- hmmm.... respawn... oh, hey, ignore me. i'm awfully busy!
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skrew you guys, i'm going home!
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aperture science would like to inform you that the portal gun is not made of chocolate, NO MOUTH!
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This is bluelephant october 2012 podcast, recorded by Zetqa. You have listened to Zetqa's bluelephant podcast, we hope you enjoyed it.
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Can you hear me now?
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hello mr boy
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Step One
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Hello Kynan, comment ca va ?
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well well, adventurers, what a suprise
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seriously you can't trick shot so piss off and play something else and then there will be cake
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Hello, you look horrible today...
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abolition is cool
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hello there, how are you? I'm here to do some test
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hi there hehehehe ho ho
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hello, my friend
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man... of... the year. ________________ it's the man of the year. MAN OF THE YEAR
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hello, stupid perso
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Hello fellow students
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Hello and welcome to aperture science testing area. Prepare by shutting up
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Hello Jacquelyn Nichole Steinbock. Welcome to the Aperture Science Enrichment Center
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why are you retarded
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Australia
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When I walk on by
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never goanna give you up never goanna let you down never goanna run around and desert you! never goanna make you cry never goanna say goodbye never goanna tell a lie and hurt you!
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Hello wolrd
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Hello Heiner
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Change your life. Now.
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I would like to clap to you, but the power supply in this potato is bad.
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Im sorry. I cant take your call right now, please leave a message.
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Man child
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Dj Radius Dj Mister G Wild stallions village Jester AZOO Azu Deer Lodge awe yeah
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I'll have you know, that Luis is a tremendous ignorant worm that needs to die
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i want to sleep
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cesar, porque no me pescas?? ceeesar, escuchame
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Tigger if you meow at that door once more
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Hello Bryan, ready for the next test?
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Hello Alec. Why are you here? you should be dead!
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I DJ like a mad cunt
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I DJ like a mad cunt.
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If guns don't kill people, people kill people, then does that mean that toasters don't toast, toast toast toast?
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If guns don't kill people, people kill people, then toasters don't toast, toast toast toast?
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You Shithole
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Shithole you suck my balls oh shit yeah
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Pregunta numero 1
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Bienvenidos a la trivia
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DYNAVISION provides a dynamic depth-of-field and auto-focus effect similar to a camera.
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Hello. Heelah Precel is not here right now. May I interest you in some cake? It's delicious. And moist.
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im going to destroy you
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Batch 2012 to 2013
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All hail the royal Peeness
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Hey Sisco, you should go to sleep or the boogeyman will come.
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Destroy all!
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someone is calling you, answer it
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HAHA! I Burned YOU little scum!
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Hello. Currently, Alec Warper's computer seems to be working. This is good. We are hoping his computer doesn't mess up anytime soon. That would be bad.
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My Little Pony is Alec's favorite show
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I will find you, Alec Regulas Warper
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You are a goat
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"GRAND GALLOPING GALA TONIGHT, ALEC" -your friend PP
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She WILL find you. She is coming. The end is near.
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Ostridge
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Hello there, you monster!
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Due to financial difficulties, instead of the Handheld Portal Device, You'll have to use this...
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Charlie Is so Charlie Is so Charlie Is so dead.
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I am malfunctioning zzzbbrggzizkfnskalxocjxnakwojdhcbzbBbzbzbzbxbxbx
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