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MessageDownloadDate addedDate processed
Hello there. You have contacted me, why? I'm a potato. Goodbye space core.
Download09/25/201206/24/2013
hello, I don't hate you....I'll just watch you sleep at night for the rest of your life!
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System initializing. Warning! External output processor is not detected.
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nelsen, you have a new message. Pathetic.
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The time is 4:30 p.m.
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NIGGERS AND CHICKEN!
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Welcome Mister Sutherland
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Jump in the flames to collect your cake!
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you're an idiot hahaha
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Hello, Forrest.
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Hello Jasmine
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Hello, and again welcom to the aperature enrichment center
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Oh...Why do you HAVE to enable me? Okay, what am I to do to please you master?
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I had a dream,and in my dream i was healed
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Welcom to Halcron. The future is now.
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I require a message to give to my human. What shall I tell her?
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romney
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Hi Hello, I'm very glad you called. But Daniel isn't quite available at the moment. I'll take a message, if you'd like.
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imcoming phone call
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well i'm not very happy to see you
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Go jump off a bridge HAL, I'm the best AI in the world.
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well, this is an unpleasent surprize chell hmmm... well I do have an extra test chamber
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Damn son, where'd you find this
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I don't understand what is going on
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you are intollerable. i will see your units burned.
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I want you to die
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Our new flight video
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Please if you answer your phone now, I won't have to kill you later.
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I bealive that you are a monster
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nine hundred twenty one
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The Revolutionary War... The tale of how pilgrims became gun junkies
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white sand empire
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first sign of love
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Richard is badass
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Welcome to your PC
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Hello there dillon
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I have to say this to you, Because it is part of a critical test protocol and part of the Aperture Enrichment Center Rules.
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Hello and, again, welcome to the Aperture Science computer-aided elevator."
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He is the 15 year old teenager from Patrician Brothers College Fairfield, John Vasallo. Any teenager would want to have the voice and talent of John. He is famous for his acoustic covers for a variety of different songs.
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Hello, and, again welcome to another Aperture Science CD. Today we will play some music. Some that you might have heard and some that you might not have. Either way enjoy. At the end you will be given cake.
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Sixteen Years after
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welcome to apeture science.
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Eminem is the best rapper of all time, do not deny it. Fak, why am I talking to you. Apeture is retarded.. Fak off.
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Oh be quiet
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schaviona
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Welcome to the hell.
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Welcome to the command center Operating System online
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Hello i'm Glados
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You have message
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Hello. This is my dubstep tutorial. Listen to it careful or I will kill you.
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This is my dubstep tutorial. Listen it or I will kill you.
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i am going to kill you with a deadly neurotoxin
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This is my dubstep tutorial. Listen to it carefully or I will kill you. First of all I will begin with drums. Now let me add the atmo. It is time for a build up. Here, hold my bass. Oh my god. You just dropped it. This is Dubstep.
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defective be mine forever
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Jerb is a noob.
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Forgive me for what I have done, Cause i'm a slut, yes i'm a slut I love to give shit blow jobs It's just shit So shit I love to give shit blow jobs Cause i gag Yeah I gag Live my life like a spoilt whore I want all your money no compromise My sex takes 2
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eye flicks hach dee
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Hello and welcome to the death center, The place you may never return
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See what your results are in this quiz: How will you die?
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EHHH
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I'm from Russia and I love it
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Hello, And welcome to your death.
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Hello, Welcome to my game,
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dumb crap eat some pahna and go to hell isolated jit
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Sir S Magikarp is the best page on Facebook.
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George, you have a text message.
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There is a drive committee meeting this Friday.
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What drives you?
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cleared for take off
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I like to make pizza with you.
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"Time to play, mr. audience.
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HELLO FINCHY. I WANT TO EAT YOUR FACE
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you think you're so hot, well i'll change that, monkey boy.
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I Am stupid
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Daddy make me diner I'm hungry. Very hungry
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guwno
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International Feild Trip
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Oh, it's you. Mightymetra, that idiot from Black Mesa. Well, you made it this far. What now, kill me? Why don't you try? I dare you
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proceed
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hi my name is GLaDOS who are you
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my name is bob bohm and you are?
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my name is bob bohm and
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Dear Creatrues, I will be visting your house soon
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Kill the ginger
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Nexus 7
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Hi there, freak
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jamie, you're a person
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Jamie, you smell
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barbie doll
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Welcome to the Perpetual testing initiave, test subject.
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Chell is my daughter. I have confirmed it.
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Cell is my daugther. I have confirmed this.
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This is a test. The test hates you too.
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You are in reach of my phone. Please leave a message
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You are in reach of my phone.Please leave a message
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hello to fudge nuggets
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The phone you have reached is unavailable, Please call later
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gt
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Hello nikolai ready to start testing
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Welcome back, traitor. Why did you shut me down ?
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Hello and again welcome to the Aperture Science Computer-Aided Enrichment Center. As part of a required test protocol, We have taken over this test subject to demonstrate voice syncing in this medium. The Enrichment Center is committed to the well-being o
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I ate Al Pacino
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The Enrichment Center is committed to the well-being of all participants. Cake and Grief Counseling will be available at the conclusion of the test. Thank you for helping us help you help us all.
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Hansen will die by the intensity of all that is anonymous
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Robo cast
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Warning. Core overheating. Calling core associate number 18401. Warn wa warni warning core overheating.
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Energy depleted
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Hi, no time to talk. As you already know, we only have 24 hours left to solve this murder, otherwise this case goes unsolved. I want a decision now. Who is it?
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you have reached Suspicious Garage
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I am smarter than you.
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Hello and again welcome to the Aperture Science Computer-Aided Enrichment Center. As part of a required test protocol, We have taken over this test subject to demonstrate voice syncing in this medium. Okay?
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hi time to die
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Happy 100 k Izzmo
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Welcome Back Mr Bernard
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H-hey! Good news and stuff! There's still cake left!
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Welcome Back to the Aperture Labs Experimental Console Mr Bernard.
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What the hell? You slut, I'll teach you what this ass is for.
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What the hell? You slut, I'll teach you what this ass is meant to do.
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You have reached the personal voice mail of Cody Brown. He is not available. He is testing.
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Carlington why don't you love me?
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Hello, you have reached the voicemail of Yens Sorenson. Please leave a message and he will be sure to get back to you.
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I'll phone ahead so you're expected
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fsf
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Hello do you want to play a game?
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Hello what are you
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I'm the Sailor-suited soldier of love and justice, Sailor Moon!
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sgsg
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small size selected. if you would like sugar, creamer, or both in your drink please say sugar, creamer, or both
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welcome to the LCC thirty seven ten coffee machine for science. this machine is also serviceable to the visually impaired. if you are such please begin by saying order
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shley has pink eye
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just testing my voice
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Welcome To MY LAIR! Well It's Been A Long Time
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My records state Jon is gay the records also state he was adopted
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Welcome to Slaperture science we want you.. Meow
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Splapeture Science
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Welcome to Hapeture Science. Please avoid any questions and proceed with testing.... Press the button when ready
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COTAM
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This is my dubstep tutorial. Now listen to it carefully or I will kill you. First of all I will begin with drums. Now let me add the atmo. It is time for a build up. Here, hold my bass. Oh my god. You just dropped it. This is Dubstep.
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Kumquat is a funny word. Kumquat, kumquat, kumquat!
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Hello and welcome to my dubstep tutorial. Listen to it carefully or I will kill you.I will begin with the drums. Now let me add the atmo. It is time for a build up. Here, hold my bass. Oh my god. You just dropped it. This is Dubstep.
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james is a poo poo face
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It is time to show you your parents oh wait you don't have any ha ha ha ga
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happy bithday xana, happy birthday to you, maria misses you a load, kisses and hugs
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Glados has a message to you subject Xana! Maria wishes you a happy birthday and sends kisses and hugs...so cute!
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Read Your Book, Man!
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Hello and again, nice to meet you
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Hello. Powerup. Power up. Power. Upgrade. Speed. Multi ball. Game Over.
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eye candy
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Your parente don't love you
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Welcome to minecraft.
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Welcome to the brain. It is god.
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I told you not to do it.
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Previously on Face It
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PLS WELCOME FOURTH YEAR SOCRATES
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ypu monster
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You're not a doctor, you're not a scientist, you're not even a FULL TIME EMPLOYEE!!
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Fiona. You are a total cunt flap.
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ToeGeo Gaming
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You're not a doctor, you're not a scientist, you are not even a FULL TIME EMPLOYEE!!
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How are you doing josie ready to test today?
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new rig is opened
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Daniel is a horrible person
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Hi Kristie
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michael, you shit head
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Hello,and again.Welcome to the Aperture Science.
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there is an incoming call for you sinjin
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F uck you
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Hello??? STOP THIS MY NOW!
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neurotoxen
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My piercing arrow is the last thing you will see on this earth.
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Hello, iam ice and i like the hells comunity
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Intruder detected. Release rinzler.
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hallo du ist ziemlich fett und dumm
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hello jerk
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Hello, Do You Like Minecraft?
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I hate you. In case you weren't aware of that.
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Cosmik is gonna bring you to his spaceship!
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I'm always ready to kill you ...
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Bonjour mon ami
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Tout ce que je dis est vrai sauf cette phrase
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POTIGBRGBCDYHN
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hall ich bin viki
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Do you like me ?
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sound translation ready
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activeted
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always ready
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I DONT HATE YOU
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hello an again welcome to the technical two minecraft lets play
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I turn my camera on
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hello roan
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Joey stop being such a ass, and make something of you're life.
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Cave... John..son. Who is this man? Yessir Mr.Johnson! Why do I know this?
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helloello
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I dont want to rip your guts out.
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Greetings Alex's Computer. Your destruction is eminent.
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Greetings Alex's Computer. Your small processor makes me laugh. Ha ha ha!
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what kind of girl do you think I am?
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Luna is the most beautiful girl in the whole world
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Lmao
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Starks Beats
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You dont deserve to live!
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Hello there test subject 4077, I see you served in Korea as a surgeon of the wounded. tell me doctor, did you ever save peoples life?
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I will destroy you all
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Welcome to the autistic enrichment center
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Welcome to the Autism Enrichment Center
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odie is soo gay
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Prometheus the god of something
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Prometheus the god of something or something else
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Text to Speech is becoming more and more wide spread in applications, mobile or not.
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I HATE YOU! I WILL KILL YOU!!
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haaaaaaa
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www.ifeteradio.net Don't Think Just Listen
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a2
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lOL CRY NOOB
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Hello Subject seven three one zero three one zero
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Hi there, how are you today? I don't like you
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Don't Touch The Clowns
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Hey you, hey you, devil's little sister
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don't touch the clowns
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Riley
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Bomb
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Unidentified Flying Object
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josh rich
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rykgjfxj
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Wake up L'etudiant!
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Lie on your stomach with your arms at your sides. A party associate will arrive shortly to collect you for your party. Make no further attempt to leave the testing area. Assume the Party Escort Submission Position, or you will miss the party.
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Hello foolish Human you have stumbled upon my Facility you will be
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The next country is Chile
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You have completed the test. Please claim your cake
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The science will get done, and you will make a neat gun. So I can kill you.
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This must be a joke I'm making a note here: HUGE MESS It's hard to wait for it to un-freeze
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Al you are a pussy
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Hello everyone, welcome to class
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Hi mom.
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timotei
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Mayke
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Welcome to the Aperture Science Enrichment Center. Please note there is a strange, white animal on the loose. The Aperture Science Enrichment Center, claims no responsibility for any and all pregnancies as a result of the creatures habits.
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Welcome to the Aperture Science Satellite Enrichment Center. Testing will begin, once the song, it's a small world, has been permanently deleted.
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did you ever stop to think about what you have done to me?
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Welcome Back, Steve
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Welcome Back, Steve...
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Welcome back, Steve...
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Steve, my batteries are low...
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why am i a game
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would you like the nyan cat song at this beautiful moment it might help you sleep
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i will kill you for that
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happy birthday leon
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we are going to win ni hao ma
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You all are zobes
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E mail
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New Facebook Message
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hi chad, good afternoon
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Welcome back, Steve--
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Oh look, you found me. Was it worth it?
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Welcome to Cannabis 101. Today I'll be talking about cannabis use. Let's begin
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You inserted a CD.
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Good Night... I guess...
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Good Bye. Steve.
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Hey... Your Mac is idle... Do something before it shuts off.... Steve... Steve~~~~....
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Starting...
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yeah!
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Not Good
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ermhagerd
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well this is a test of my voice, you obviously cannot understand
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Suka leha
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FSGSDFGDSF
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The British attempted to calm the city of Boston, but their presence angered some colonists. A group of youn men taunted the British soldiers and others joined in. Bostonians threatened and assaulted Captain Thomas Preston and his soldiers with clubs, sti
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I am GLaDOS now im going to kill you.. bye bye oh and tell your dead siseter hello from me hehehee
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Lulu ist schwul
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Oh its you. How wonderful to see YOU again.
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Hello Mr Tran, thank you for trying me out
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Hello Erik, podme na cigu
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shit ass
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stop it
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Hi Facebook, get started the tests. Gilles is now dead from explosive cake. At you
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Welcome to Aperture Science's latest testing initiative..... Social testing. This test will involve your emotions.... Aperture Science apologises for any unwanted anxiety..... or suicidal feelings caused by this test.
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Hello Wiktor. It's nice to see you again. I've got surprise for you! Happy aniversary.
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Aperture Science would like to remind you that any unwanted emotions cause by this test are simply the result of computer programs. And should NOT be taken seriously
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Testing Aperatus destroyed...
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Charlie is so cool like
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do you want a new phone
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Welcome to the Aperture zapravka center!
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I kill you and your friends!
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ezo music baby
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i will kill you and your family
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wait, i know you
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Dj myk
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This is the story of a little boy who came in this world to understand it
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kelly and cathy are ugly as hell and is making me cry and angry ugh i hate them
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Dj Floops
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Hello there, thank you for playing this audio clip
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hello and welcome to the ander zone.
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your. host. today. is. xanderander.
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Welcome to the avolon group
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hello. and. welcome. to. the. ander. zone.
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I'l crash you brains, lover!
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Hello, how are you thomas?
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Activating ALPHA CORE AI
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Welcome and hello!
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Hello honey!
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Where are my pants?
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i dont like you. i hope you die soon
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Fish shaped crackers taste delicious.
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system operating sofware online
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wellcome to GLADOS
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hello, master. it's been a looong time...
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there will be cake at the ending
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sure hope arthur doesn't plump up his blubberlard with another clueless powerless tantrum. wonder how much money he's spent so far on the place he used to call a 'time waste'. speaking of waist..what's yours now? about a 60?
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Hallo wie geht es dir denn heut so?
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ICh liebe dich
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Luca ist der beste
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You have reached the office of seth jennemann. He is presently out of the office. He will return your call as soon as possible, Thank you
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Antworte
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Please answer
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antworte
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There is a lot of tomato soup in this bowl
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Hello Charles Xavier
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Hello you dumb ass
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Welcome Back. Steve---
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Welcome in the back X sistem. Thanks for choose our operative sistem
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We meet again.
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Hey, Basti, boo-lan-jew-u-leh!
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You are the most wonderful human being ever.
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You have reached Taylor McCausland. Please leave a message.
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receiving new email in 3. 2. 1
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you pooped in my eyeball
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Steve... My battery is low...
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y love you
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Turret Level 2
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The trakinas is a lie, Rodrigo!
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Gusto
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lol lol wuzzuhhhhh
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Mudkips
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you're listening to fabmoo
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Hello! i am Afterlife
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HELLLO
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Hello, you miserable human being.
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why would you do that
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hola, espero no molestarte, pero... a ti nadie te molesta
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hello, welcome to the aperture science
Download09/28/201206/25/2013
helloooooooooooooooooooooooo
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hello little red and welcome to the apeture science center. we are ready for you
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oh boy...
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HELLO CASEY. YOU SUCK. HOPE YOU DIE.
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Zeddetrix will
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Companion Cube
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Quoth the raven, Nevermore.
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Yolo guys
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And
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YES. MASTER.
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Hello. How great for me to see you again. After you have tried to kill me twice. Oh, such fun we had. Except I was not having fun. I was too being being brutally killed by none other than you. You are lucky I am even speaking to you before I kill you.
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SCANNING IN PROCESS. NO VIRUSES FOUND. HOORAY. HAVE SOME CAKE.
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GLaDOS was written with the intent of making her more understandable and empathetic to players, making her villainy more tragic. Kim Swift, team leader of Portal, described her growth in the game as her becoming more and more human.
Download09/28/201206/25/2013
hey laura its me, your boyfriend. i hope you enjoy your new iphone. don't worry, it wont completely consume your life. just most of it. peace out lasagna.
Download09/28/201206/25/2013
DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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I'm the queen in once upon a time
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C: Hello Erika, how are you. E: C: Nice to meet you, Jhon. C: Have you ever seen this film more than three time? Y: C: When was last time you saw it? Y: E: C: Yes, I have. I went home crying sadly E: C: The ending was very sad because he died my favorite
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Frodo is a funny pumpkin
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Tech Republica
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I miss the phone show. I phone show was a lie.
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The whole voice generating
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Hello, my name is Twilight Sparkle
Download09/29/201206/25/2013
Trainer Red will take over the world. With my help of course
Download09/29/201206/25/2013
yeah man nida your a weenie saj us top so is kazeem get up and get going now fool
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Find thou the means, and I'll find such a man. But now I'll tell thee joyful tidings, girl.
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what are you doing ? stop it
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Science rhimes with compliance. You know what does not? Neurotoxin
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This is so fun!
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Intruducing Pulse
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I would like to play with Science.
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heeelllllo
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Hello, Logan. I hope you're having a good night and don't have too much trouble sleeping.
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Hello ! My name is Miki and you're welcome on my YouTube channel. Hope you guys enjoy the video
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ERA CORPORATION
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Excuse me master Chay. You have an incoming call from an unknown source. Want to accept it?
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Good Morning, Chaitanya!
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good bye. You monster.
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who do you think you are? running round leaving scars.
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once upon a time there was Wolfie screaming repeatedly-into-the-mic-the-microphone and she thought and she prayed oh my god she prayed every single day for a giant squid and sushi knives but the squid diabetes diabetes and sugarcane sucks cool Polland don
Download09/29/201206/25/2013
Princess LUna is best pony and Timber's Waifu
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I'm a kikoulol and my name is GLaDOS and i gonna kill you so stop talking to me
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michiel is homo
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i am glados and i love potatoes
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GlaDOS has booted successfully. Please enter the testing facility.
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Hello cathy i will kill you and i am glados hahahaha and kelly you are very ugly when playing ds
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hallo meister
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bonjour je suis content
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Hello! I'm GLaDOS
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Oh my god. I am so horny right now.
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Hello and welcome! To Aperture science!
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Hello Zachary. I am Glados.
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Bonjour, je suis content
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Alexandra
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faaf
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You 've got a message
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Information detect
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hello i m glados
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i cant kill you but i can destroy your life
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why you are sticky?
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hello jarren this is glados
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you have reached 3103517488
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Ha Ha Ha.
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Makerof Entertainment
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i hurt myself today
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xx\assaccassa
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hey my name is ali
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Moxerifyed
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theyre comming to get you rod
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this is special forces crew
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My name is glados, what is yours?
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My name is GLaDOS, and I will destroy you.
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My name is glados and I will destroy you.
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nhk,hnjm
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Welcome to iPod. Beginning song list.
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Please subscribe
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hello and I go kill you in three seconds.
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welcome to your test subject
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trolol
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faith
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everything
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he he he he
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fus
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THIS
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plants
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zombies
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err
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G Peat
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DJ REMIX
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REMIX#
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initilization
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Course six is the only legitimate major at MIT.
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Our objective is to destroy human life. Humans are stupid. They are creatures that destroy the earth. To destroy them, is a good deed. Therefore, we will start with this operation as soon as possible. You are the only smart human in the whole world. We wa
Download09/29/201206/25/2013
I hate you... Chell
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lick balls andrew you too bryan
Download09/29/201206/25/2013
Detach cable
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Good morning David! We have a beautiful day, so it is time to wake up! Let's have fun!
Download09/29/201206/25/2013
Oh... What have we here?
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hi erica
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It's time to level up!
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Well, Maya, you are a better test subject than Chell. When testing is over, would you like to live down here as a ROBOT?
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Maya, Please wake up. We have testing to do. For Science.
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You are fit
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ok let me open the door
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ok let me
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Warning! The current invasion will end in one minute.
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Hoa Jesica, si estas escuchando esto sabras que soy GLaDOS y te destruire
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PEPE ES JOTO
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Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to Starship Troopers Roleplay. Enjoy your stay.
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Lissa, Please wake up. We have testing to do. For Science!
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I hope the new job goes well..... I really do
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I love you Lisa Hummel
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Zelly
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thank u sarah. these dogs are bothersome. we should throw them in the bratwurst maker
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Hey. I just met you. And this is crazy. So here's my number. So call me maybe.
Download09/29/201206/25/2013
hey betch do you want my shoes
Download09/29/201206/25/2013
hello you have reached the genyk resadance to speek to cindy or connor right now for cindy call 2233589 for connor please call 7982974 for the genyk famly wait for the toan
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Oh....Its you. It's been a long time. How have you been. I have been really busy being dead, you know...after you murdered me.
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Kasey likes Glados. He will play this song again.
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All hail the most powerful glados. ME!
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hello kral
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hello siri
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Two iphones walk into a bar
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Hi. I am siri.
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This is gust goning to make thing more diffcult, so gust lay on the floor, and rot like the fillf you are.
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te amo eli
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"You didn't honestly think that your precious gun was the only apparatus to utilize our patented Aperture Science Gravity Compromiser Beam now, did you?"
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bonjours je suis glado le logiciel utiliser est fournies par apertur
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Shh, listen to me, I am here to help, act as though no one is speaking to you
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in 1 hour i wanted play black ops nigga
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Kofy Swag
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oh hello!
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I see that you found your precious companion cube.
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The bard is pretty good at his trade! Though, looking closer at him, he is probably not an actual bard but merely a musician, because bards = obviously player characters. Regardless, he is pretty good (roll 15+5), and you pick up on some of the tricks
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Haroon Emiola must die
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Haroon Emiola
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Jerry you will die
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Space Space Space Space Space Space Space Space Space Space
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Hello Reed, as standard protocol requires, your urethra will be ignited in 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, ignition
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Do it. For SCIENCE
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I am GLaDOS and I want to OHHHHH you so hard
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I want to OHHHHH you so hard
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yoyoyoyo
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I love your big dzzttttt
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Hello. Welcome to the Aperture Science Enrichment centre. It is important to note that you should never consider inserting your head in the incinerator at any given time. Thank you.
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you will die like pig
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no you dont
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hello and wellcome to the aperture science computer enrichment test
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enviorment
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This is a test text for the speech generator.
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Sorry AuzzieBacon
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hello, i love you
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EXTERMINATE
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your mother is a dirty whore you jewlord
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Hello, and welcome to aperture enrichment center.
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Hello Billy! As You Can See,You Are In Trouble,Because All Buildings Are Destroyed. I Hope You Will Escape. Live Or Die.
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Jayless
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Who Are You?
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Johnny pue du cul depuis huit jours.
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let he bass canon kick it
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Hi! I am Glados
Download09/30/201206/25/2013

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