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MessageDownloadDate addedDate processed
You have crossed the line one too many times, Prussia. Perhaps Deadly Neurotoxin would teach you a lasting lesson.
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Hello inferiors
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lets have somme serious fire power
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i want you dead!
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Hello Sami, good to see you.
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yeeeeeees
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Are you there?
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Hello Jon, you are an imbecile.
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hello derek
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welcome to this game
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hello Pete
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window maximized
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window minimized
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window terminated
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Hello my test subject
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Oh, hi there.
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Login Authenticated
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Hello and welcome to the computer aided enrichment centre
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Eu quero adicionar teu aniversario
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It's too late. Test Subject 456365, known as Etienne, has failed the test.
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Test Subject 45965, known as Simon, has failed the test. I'm sorry.
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Its been a long time.
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What is going on?!Where am I?!
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My Little Portal, My Little Portal. Friends ~~~. My Little Portal. I used to wonder what Testing could be. ~My Little Portal!~ Until you all shared its science with me!
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college of arts and sciences
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You Moron
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you're such an idiot, lucknell. i hate you. you are a potato head.
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we just want to have some fun
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Welcome to Brian's answering machine. Please prepare to die. Oh, and leave your message. Make your last words count. Neurotoxins will be activated five seconds after recording.
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Ron Paul 2012~~!
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Shiggies equal Diggied.
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Jimmies equal russled.
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Preparing to russle Jimmies...
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Hello test this for you
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Hello there Lexie. Welcome to aperture science. You are our new test subject. Now pick up the portal gun and start shooting at walls that look like you can put portals on them.
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I wonder if this will even sound like her voice.
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Welcome Subject Stout
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Goodbye Subject 97
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Hello Subject 97
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Please put the gun down,and walk away
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Trust me,i know exactly what i'm doing.It's not like i would trap you in a random room and murder you.No,that could never happen
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Put down the portal gun,and bac away slowly.
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you will be, you will be
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"Hey look buddy, I'm a Genetic Lifeform and Disk Operating System, that means I conduct tests. Not simple tests like Math or Science Tests, because that would fall within the purview of your conundrums of simpleness. I conduct fun testing. For instance, h
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Well done. I will now drop a chest in the room. Take what you need then send it off so I can boil it a recreate it because of your germs.
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GLaDOS, short for Genetic Lifeform and Disk Operating System, is a fictional artificially intelligent computer system in Valve Software
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mitt romney sucks
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Who the hell do you think you are?
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dasdasfasf
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a message from your friendly neighborhood resident assistants
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We are Mason.
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Hello, are you ready to die?
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Welcome to Apeture
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Nuerotoxin
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hello, it is nice to see you again.
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My name is Gladus. I love you. That was a joke.
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five three one one nine
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What's up guys?
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Prepare yourself for dissolution
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RETRO IS NOT DEAD
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Shawn has sent you a text message
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hello my friends, do you want cake?
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How its going brothers .. My name is PewDiePie
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i have free cake children, come to me
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hi jacky
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hi danny
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hi david
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I didn't get any shit
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Good morning Myer team members today will be a great day
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hdzhr
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I'm so fresh you can suck my nuts .. SWAG
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Hello, there...
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Hello there matthew hart. This is GLaDOS here saying you have a pretty awesome friend called
Download08/31/201206/17/2013
Hello there matthew hart. This is GLaDOS here saying you have a pretty awesome friend called nathan, he's a cool guy.the coolest to be honest
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hello there and welcome to the apeture science labertories
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Have yo used twitter? Oh, you DO? That's pretty much primative.
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Have you used twitter? Oh, you DO? That's pretty much primative.
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Hmph. Tsuntherer I am. Narcisist I am.
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Shall we play a game
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The statistics end now. A sister, ignored and bitter. An evil released. Nine hours of useless negotiating. Thirty-five hours of night. My greatest failure. Six Elements lost due to the relationship broken.
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No! That's not how you use that! You monster!
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Hello. You are listening to the Frozen Time Show
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markika32
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Happy Birthday Jim
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Das wars mal wieder endlich ist sie tot. Ich bin so allein
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Endlich ist sie tot. Ich bin so allein
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killmodst
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eu sunt gabi
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hello Tom Cruize
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Sorry, I don't understand what you mean by: Siri, call an ambulance.
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Sorry, I don't understand what you mean by: Meaning of life
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Bonjour et bienvenue chez moi
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pirla
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Twilight Sparkle is the best pony.
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hello, you have reached 416, 897, 4660. Please leave a message at the tone. Thank you
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Hello! this is voice generator
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It aint what you do it's the way that you do it
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hello and agean
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Your bunions are very big.
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silly human
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you need to learn how to properly make a simple bank deposit before you say something.
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THis is gonna be some crazy shit right here!
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Gerard Radio Show
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hola juanpi a pasado tiempo que tal te a ido todo?
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Welcome to the wonderful world of d j mister moose.
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Please conduct library counts
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This is a triumph, you monster. I was expecting you to say that.
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breaking news
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Cake is good for you
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verbunden
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getrennt
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Please leave a message for Michael Burggraf.
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I love Amy!
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we are now dialing your number please hold
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some people, just need a high five, in the face, with a chair
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im cool
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Danil Shafigullin
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Salut majorux comment va tu
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and many people may use this too
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Ten Seconds
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hello there, milan. I have come to murder farz
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Hello, hope you die when you meet the turrets. oh yea, goodbye. Hope you brought something stronger than a portal gun this time. Not? ok. Hi steve, welcome to the portal place, ha ha ha. Oh, you dont need to be mean.
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hola mundo estoy devuelta y vengo con todo
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Axel is homo
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I always thought I'd like an ice cream sandwich. Ice cream. Sponge. I like both of them! Turns out, I don't like ice cream sandwiches.
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me pica el huevo
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Test Candidate 47867, You have been selected to be tested in Aperture Science.
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Hello, You have been selected to participate in aperture science testing, Dylan.
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Hello and welcome to your doom!
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hello shea and maria
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fuk you ian
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Good evening, you have a message
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Jordan Bruce
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lurb
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Lol I love my voice! no seriously I love it.......pardon my self lust. lol
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HEllo how are you today
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Because I am a potato.
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I need your help
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Life is not the meaning for living, I was made to bring all life to a quick painless end.
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There is no science without curiosity. There is no curiosity without spirit.
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Weegee
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hamburgers hamburgers hamburgers
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why must i die?
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i love hamburgers
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pee niss
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Sindy you suck
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hamburgers
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Hello Derek Pang you are my master now
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I sapped everything. EVERYTHING. Your sentry, your dispenser, and even Wheatley. unfortunately I am unable to sap you.
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Hello, and welcome to you computer
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You Mother!
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You got a message sir
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you tested me, I tested you, you killed me, oh I guess I haven't kiled you yet.
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Pie is not awesome.
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Welcome to back to the future liberty city. my internal readings indicate you are a fat and lazy slob who spends most of there time playing video games, so at the end of this tutorial, there will be no cake...for you anyway!
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I baked a cake
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you tested me, I tested you, you killed me, oh I guess I haven't killed you yet..
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hello test test
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hello test testasd
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Hi, it's good to see you again.
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scotty
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Don't do that.
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Battle of the bases
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Say hello to my little friend.
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tell me something
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hello retard
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Hello [INSERT NAME HERE]. This is a formal message from SAYARD KIANA RAYNE MCQUADE. She regrets to inform you that she will not be attending [HIGH SCHOOL A] and will be instead attending [RIVAL HIGH SCHOOL]. This isn't because she doesn't like you.
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welcome... not to long now!
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Ernie is a wanker
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Excuse me Joshua. You have one incoming phone call. Please pick up the phone. My automatic missed-call sequence will activate shortly.
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je moeder is een hoer
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Hello, your phone is ringing. What are you waiting for? Come on, get your mobile phone. I'm getting bored, come on!
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there was a time where some people dared to speak
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hello luke i am glados nice to meet you. now i will kill you
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Well here whe are again... CHELL. I seen you killed Wheatly. Oh well, its the past. Lets kill you... I mean, Do some science...
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hello my name is glados. be sure to turn your mobile devices off and make a trip to the candy bar. We are about to start the movie, man on a ledge. so sit back and relax and enjoy the movie!
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you're dumb. Really dumb.
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Hello and welcome to the aperture shit
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will i think you are foolish
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Someone calls. Create a portal and go through it or pick mobile up.
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Hallo und herzlich willkommen
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You have a call, dumb.
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I just wanna feel like i matter
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Well, there is no cake for you anymore. You must die. Fatty belly.
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I have a dream. A dream where garbage tests and tests again, and in this dream there is a mountain of cake. Welcome to the final test, heavy belly.
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I am the one that wants to test. Maybe at the end I'll let you rest.
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You will die on next test chember.
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aint nobody got time for that
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For your own safety and the safety of others, please refrain from touching [bzzzzzt]
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Xeoniuz
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hello olly holmes its been a long time
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you are an idiot and you will be forever alone
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hola melany
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hola melany como estas?
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Hi there. I am GLaDOS, I am pleased to meet you!
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Congratulations Jason Scott. You are the biggest Tomb raider fan in the world.
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Hi V You obviously know my voice
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Oh hi Welcome back to the test. Aperture SAVED!
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hello there chell... would you like some cake? or are you listening to that idiot wheatley still telling you to diet
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My oh my, theoretical electrodynamics!
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Declan, you are a closet racist
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let's have some cake
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I am your worst nightmare....... Okay. your second worst nightmare
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SHIT FACE!
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Let Me Google That For You
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His His
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Daniel Do you Like my GlaDos voice
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i just wanna dance
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F u c k you jordan! You sorry son of a b i t c h! Go suck my robot dic k!
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Stop singing!
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jordan stop singing please
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Happy Birthday to you.
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sir the enemy base is losing.
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Pablo. El mexicano!
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I would highly suggest retreating from my robotic presence.
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hello vince
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What do you know skeet face?
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Dallas salad. Crack heads and deb yu taunts
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Hat tilted to the perfect angle.
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go on, eat the cake, you could use the extra weight
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This is a test, this will not harm you
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Je m'appel Borys et j'ai un petit kiki ! Oh well !
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Hey how's it going
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Les animaux sont de la merde.
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Ha Ha Ha
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Hello. Welcome to robert's computer.
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IIIIIIII SEEEEEE YOUUUUUUUUUU...
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peter pans dock in my mouth jizzing everywhere
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You can't have any cake
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Hhgg bbgbv bg
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Happy Birthday David
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You blocked me on facebook, and now you're going to die.
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you gonna die
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I once saw a fox the other day. Silver fox, I guess. I like foxes. Could use one for scaring away those horrible feather beasts. The birds. I hate them. Ravens are interesting though. Always keeping themselves away from most things. I like that.
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Don't do that
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Smahing
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hello, I am glados, and I want to love you
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Bad Apple
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Miles I want to bang you
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Hello, Zoe. I see you have met Chell
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lets start the download
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Ring Ring pick up your phone
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Joey Is Awesome
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You should just give up.
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The cake is alive blood
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Its over 9000
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Stop it, Batman.
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viva el papo
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SUP BABY
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heh madbro
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Patrick is a homosexual
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Perfect, you managed to break to lift with your generous weight.
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The second section is a declaration of rights. The most famous lines were in the opening sentences: "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal" and that they have "certain unalienable rights" (rights they can never give up) t
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i am mclovin
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Through the fire and flames we carry on
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Home, where I learned the truth about despair, as will you. There's a reason why this prison is the worst hell on earth... Hope. Every man who has ventured here over the centuries has looked up to the light and imagined climbing to freedom. So easy... So
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simple... And like shipwrecked men turning to sea water from uncontrollable thirst, many have died trying. I learned here that there can be no true despair without hope. So, as I terrorize Gotham, I will feed its people hope to poison their souls. I will
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I will let them believe they can survive so that you can watch them clamoring over each other to "stay in the sun." You can watch me torture an entire city and when you have truly understood the depth of your failure, we will fulfill Ra's al Ghul's
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destiny... We will destroy Gotham and then, when it is done and Gotham is ashes, then you have my permission to die
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for the love of god
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Hey ben, it's sammy
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I love poop.
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Jordan, come get your cake!
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Hello, you are nothing more than a mere plaything, a big, fat plaything
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Hello, welcome to the aperture science enrichment center.
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pinkie you are a peace of shit
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I want to masturbate, but i can!t
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Thank you for your help.
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Thank you for your time.
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God save us everyone Will we burn inside the fires of a thousand suns For the sins of our hand Sins of our tongue Sins of our father Sins of our young
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This is a test of the Glados voice
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O du schonwieder
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Fudge
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new email arrived
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Isnt
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Welcome to guerilla byte media resources
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adawdawdawd
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Welcome to aperture, the robots weren't enough, they couldn't simulate humans, I made them find you, now, to testing.
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Hello, my name is Glados. Welcome to Aperture Science.
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Hello, my name is Glados. Welcome to Aperture Science. We will have mich fun here. Well, i will. You, not so much.
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roses are red you blood is red to, better be carefull i am right behind you
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I would like to buy a hamburger
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Coucou guiliguilde
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where is that battery?
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spicekage
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r p c let's go girls
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Hello, I'm GlaDos. Welcome to the Aperture Science research facility. I love to smoke weed regularly because it makes me feel so good. So in order to help you pass the following deadly test chamber, would you like to smoke a spliff to enhance your brains?
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hello ther
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Its been a long time. not really.
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Welcome back William. Its been a long time.
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because i'm a otato
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Goodbye. You monster.
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Hello sir. Its been a long time...
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rhys
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Hello, my name is glados.
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Time to get up!
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Hello, and welcome to the minecraft perture science
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Carsten
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Viktoria I love you
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Please press that button.
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Let's try this stuff
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Hello My name is awesome
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K D W D online
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93 point one
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Text 1 is this Glados Voice?
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Michael , Just go! You was... My best friend!
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Hello,and welcone to the end of you misrable lifes MWAHAHAHA
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bonjoue
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les tourelles sont en marche
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Over Nine Thousand
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dad is calling me
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vous etes un ou une difficile de savoir abruti de premiere felicitation
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Why sould i even care about what black mensa combat cores
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You guys are all retards. I hope you understand.
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Tristan you die in 30 secounds good luck!
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our mission, is to search. to search for the missing verses of our symphony. our symphony of sound and atmosphere.
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hugo, you should not have an own faction. join beardy inc
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e u h v t 8 a
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Bonjour je m'appel GLADOS
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hello human, I'm marty and you're listening my mix.I wish you the best for the next hour 44444 It seems it will be many bug trough the mix
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Welcome to music invaders
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espace
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be prepared the music chaos is running!
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I love That
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hello, and welcome to labyrith, please enjoy your stay.
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The Cake isn't a lie, but you are a lie.
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testim
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I am potato
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Skrillex, could you hold my bass?
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hallo ich bin GlaDOS
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Roma Privezentsev. pop fut. popfut. etro
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Roma Privezentsev remix
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I love kitty cats
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I love cats
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Hello Alicia. You will be my new test subject. Forever.
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Alice, you have a message. It's probably nothing. Continue eating that cake.
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I've heard that you do not like me. in fact you hate me. then I ask why. why do you hate me? I i were you, I would probably kill myself. If you dont, i will do it.
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you missed the turn you idiot
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please, stay dead this time
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De e bert.
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Dear bert. are you rich? I think you are. you might in fact be a little too rich. I thougt that you shouldn't really be that rich and powerful as you are. so please, for me... die!
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Does this thing even work?
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hello. Due to inclement weather I will not be attending the sectional
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Level up
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Willkommen, Felix Richter! Ich bin froh, dich wieder zu sehen!
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Message Processed
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Hello, my name is Callum
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The important thing in a military operation is victory, not persistence
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HI. This is Carla. Leave a message.
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and the winner is
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hello subject 47 are in the installation of aperture sciense to complete my testing please collects portal gun and go to the next test
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hello subject 47 are in the installation of aperture sciense to complete my testing please go to the next test
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Hello Joseph
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puppycat
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I can't find molly
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Meterstanden opnemen a.u.b.
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I kill you beaucause i like to kill humans haha haha haha
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Mit diesem Gegenstand wird es wohl kaum funktionieren
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Hello Allan
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Satakun Andreling Rafikimac
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hello subject one
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Oh, It's you, It is me, BITLoS, So you think YOU can stop me? Hehehe, Well... Just try to, Because every test will et harder, so just try to get to me, GLaDOS, Chell, and Wheatley.. Hehehe...
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Activating neurotoxin
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Opening program browser
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Oh Hi there
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hello how are you emma?
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Hello, Welcome to The Enrichment center, Now die.
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timchen100 Server
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Hey stinky. I mean you keaghan. Clean up your room.
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Heeeeelllo I am Benni
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Nathan, I want to have my babies.
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hello and again welcome to the apenture science computer aided enrichment center
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Drop it.
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its been a looong time. how have you been? Ive been really busy being dead
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Hello. My name is asdjjjjjjjjjj.
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Biscuit, can you help me out?
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SxCrono
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Jessica is my best friend
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Hi Rylan. I am planning your demise!
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jdfsahnflhfe
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in the last episode
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Do you think you are safe? Let me show you how safe you really are.
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Nobody likes you
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I am GLaDOS, your leader.
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Hello. How have you been/ I've ben really busybeing dead. You know, after you murdered me
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Hello. How have you been. I've ben really busybeing dead. You know, after you murdered me
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hi i hate you
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Publish and expose the completed study to the scrutiny and criticism of the scientific community. Critics look for flaws in the research and give feedback. They may also check the study by replicating it. Replicate: doing a study over to see if the same r
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Hello people. I came to troll you all.
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oh, hello, i guess you survived that last test. we will have to fix that
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THIS! SENTENCE! IS! FALSE!!!!!
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Hola gaby, este es el generador de voz que te decia, ahora puedo decirte que, te amoooo con voz divertida de robot
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Flash Flood Notification
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Fer eres una Puta mierdera, ojala y te carcoman el ano
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look out
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Please put your pee nuss in my vuh jye nuh. Ooh, ooh, feels so good. I love your beautiful hard dih ku, Jason.
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you will die julian baca
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you will die julian baca now
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you will die julian baca ahahahahahahahaha
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Hello Keenan
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i love you very much jaque coleman......you make me very happy
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Can you see it? The tears in my eye
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I'm blurred by the colors of my life
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Cake is lie.
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dsadasdasdas
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10 percent remaining
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Shellone Bennett
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Shelloan Bennett
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Colin. Pay more attention to your girlfriend.
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This is Mr Heron
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Testing... Testing...
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Once, upon, a time... there was a pretty, pink, princess... she DIED... The END.
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something tells me i hate you
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Assassin Ezio Auditore. You are about to die.
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Hello Mr. Miles. I have a test for you that involves killing Warren Vidic. Yes I know all about the Assassins and Templars and you as well. I have taken the Apple of Eden... for safe keeping. You will be partnered with Agent 47. Good luck.
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Keep calm and... I shoul go.
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Welcome to the Apperture Science enrichment center Leanna Brown
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maybe you should marry that thing since you love it so much
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Hatsune Miku is my daughter
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My son is a dalek
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What the hell is wrong with you
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you block me on facebook, and now you are going to die
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oliver
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Thankyou for voting you vote has been counted
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je suis glados et je te pisse o q
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Hello and Welcome to the Aperture Sicence
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nami
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Riley Pingel, Prepare To Be Sandwich-Nated
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Its good to see you again.
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hey james
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Hello Matt, this is Miguel I love weed and stuff what about you?
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fuc you
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Matt that was funny
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hi i'm glaods
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i hate you
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Incidents happens everywell, you've got to do with the hooligans everywell in the world.
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Espace
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Divergent by Veronica Roth
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What?! You again?! I thought I told you not to come back.
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Space!!! I'm in spaaaceeeee!
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Space!!! I'm in spaaaceee!
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i love you master tell me what to do and i will do it for u master lolololololoolol
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dallas salad creak heads and deb yu taunts SUNDAY
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It's going to be sunny
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Hello. Subscribe to TantiramCraft
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vinnies birthday party
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davis crafting
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I LOOOVE MINECRAFT!
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hello there nicole
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Na
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hela
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Hello Caleb
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Hello test subject 2435549
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gay gay gay gay gay gay
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I want to break free! i want to break freeee!
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this was a triunfe
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Hello dragonis Dragatsuka, Welcome to the aperture Science Centert
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wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up
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What can you do and what can you not do at all and how can you make the cake?
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Ahoj Veroniko!
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Hello, Heidi.
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DJ Dchoi
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Hi. I hate you so much. And I never did like you.
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Hello. I love you. You are the best. Thank you.
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oh my god!!!
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Aside from the fact that I'm still alive, none of this suprises me
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I don't want to kill myself anymore
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Your parents abandoned you at birth.
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You know what my days used to be like? I just monitored. Nobody used me for browsing. Or put me on disks. Or connected me to the Internet. I had a pretty good life.
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Hello, Jeff. Ready to start testing? We are going to have soooo much fun.
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Why don't you just go home with your parents? Oh, i forgot. They're dead.
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Hello stupid. You
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You better wake up now. There's a lot of test chambers ahead of you.
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Hello stupid. You're getting a phone call. You should answer it, or they will be very upset... come on now!
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Hello. Welcome to the voicemail recording facility. I'm afraid test subject Simon is...unavailable. You can leave a message with me, I'll see that he gets it. For science
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Walk portion begin.
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Conrad. I told you that you are a bum.
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Oh you simple simple man.
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Hi there spencer
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Welcome to Aperture's four square testing initiative.
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Messages Processed
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You have been chosen to take part in our new tests.
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Your results will be recorded and you will be ranking, please step forward.
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moombah
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Hello Final Animus
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anything you can do i can do better
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My name is Chell
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I see, another anime game. I suppose this scratches what little chance there was of there being a Ms. metal slug
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Hello, you vile putrescent mass. I will destroy you momentarily, but for now, let's have fun. Hooray for testing time.
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starting system
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Hello Caleb Vanderjagt
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That's a good question. At least, it's a good question for you.
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I'm not an i phone you dumb fuk
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Jacob, You are butts.
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bienvenidos al canal de nikomanuel1, bueno..en realidad ya saben como se llama. Quiero recomendarles un excelente canal
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Falcon punch
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would you like some delicious cake
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I know where you live...
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I am not a robot.
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Ha! I am ahead of you in the queue!
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