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MessageDownloadDate addedDate processed
Hello, this is a test. I want to to test this software and if I like it, i will use i often!
Download08/08/201206/14/2013
Deleting Caroline has taught me a valuable lesson.
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how are you bro
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well well well, we meet again GLaDos
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GLaDOS I will destroy and assume control
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PRUEBA de texto
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im glados. i eat poop
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Hello Nightie, your test programm is ready to run
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hello chell...i expect you to bring that portal device..well good news...NO PORTAL SURFACES
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If you have rang from a withheld or blocked number, then you have been automatically screened and forwarded to this voicemail. Alternatively, hang up and redial from a known number.
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i am liam
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amadejj5000
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Hello, it's been along time.
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hello, There child It seems You have found my candy Van feel free to hop in
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spurdo
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Zielucha do spania
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How are you? Good. I hate you.
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Hello dear doctor
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Battery Fully Charged
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I'm GLADoS and I suck major doock! Biches motherfukin nigers
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It's beeeen a long time,you monster.
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Are the drums still available?
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It was all a ruse.
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hallo my name is dave
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hello, my name is thomas
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this is a test l o l i heard you like mudkips trolling to the max lawl
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SPAAAAACE SPACE SPACE SPACE SPACE MUTHA DJK;FALKSDKFJKSDJFKSAFJLAK
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Founded in 2008, Acme
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Welcome to the Aperture science Shut the hell up center. We all eat potatos
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Please go and check out svettas i regn
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Hello Mr.
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FUK THAT DARN SERVER
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how are you little shit
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Let your imagination soar
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Its been a long time. how have you been
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Hello chell...i expect you to bring that portal device..well good news...NO PORTAL SURFACES
Download08/08/201206/14/2013
Hey, my name is molly
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Hello and Again, welcome to the aperture science somehting center
Download08/08/201206/14/2013
welcome to the actress science
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These pants are too tight. my hole hurts.
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Shut up please im typing to test
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Both of you shut up i'm trying to test
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i'm not home
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Digital Water color
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Uno due tre
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OMG WHY you no dead?
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objetivo detectado
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Comment vas tu Mon petit ? prepare toi a mourir ha ha
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The cake wasn't a lie, I also ate it. Moron
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Hello. Welcome to Sacred Labyrinth. I am Rabble. Cake, and grief counseling, will be available upon membership.
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Dancing is not science.
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Blee
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Tephone
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This is just begin. This never end !
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This Train terminates here, GoodBye
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Legacy pictures
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Turning Right
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welcome user identified adgatent two three dash four six online
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its been a long time how have you been
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Oh hello, I know you are here for testing but Chell is still testing
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You're listening to
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I am the one who waits here alone - receiving messages from the stars. Noting thee impossible from charts; words that fall to me so easily. Settling like a dust upon the snow.
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Dinah meetwo
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caution
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Gaby Fowler
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dj rdm
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Well, good job. I... I... I'm deeply impressed of your results, Paint.
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Hello, I want you to know that you will die. NOW.
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turn back no or i will kill you
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I would like to win an all around gold medal
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I love you, and your small, brain.
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you are my shmerelee and you are the best
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Unfortunately, as much as I'd like to now, I cannot get the neurtoxins into your system any faster
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Hello and again, welcome to the Aperture science enrichment center.
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You fall to the ground, defeated by the agile arachnid-woman as she slowly advances towards you, her engorged hhhh growing larger and larger as it thhhh in your direction. You've managed to find yourself crumpled face down in the dirt, your tight
Download08/08/201206/14/2013
I decided to take cooper out for walk
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Hello, welcome to testing nod number 333, and your impending death
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You want your freedom, you monster?
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Easy a spitter dot webs dot com
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Hello test subject. Do you know that no one loves you? Your parents abandoned you.
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8th circuit dot com
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get full
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8th circuit dot com, we are pop culture
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You Need A Permission to run this as administration
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die fynbos area bestaan meestal uit bergagtige terein
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hello you slut
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testing this would be awesome
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This website is failing the test.
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Di yey gangster
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Hello you stupid morron
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Look at you. Soaring through the air majestically. Like an eagle. Piloting a blimp.
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You will be perfect.
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Kill all Humans
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What is your problem? I just want to kill you.
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ricktronik
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Facebook.com
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Vechs.
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Now loading, Captain Fail
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Shutting Down Server
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Hello and again welcome to the GLaDOS answering machine.You have reached Ethan. He is testing right now. But you can leave him a message at the beep. BEEP ha ha you thought that was the beep. Here is the real beep. By the way you will never get cake
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THIS.SENTENCE.IS.FALSE!!!!
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hello my name is dan
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Hello and again welcome to the aperture sciene computer aided enrichment center.
Download08/09/201206/14/2013
You have new mail!
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You have new SMS!
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perfectly happy
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This Program is Okazaki's Another World Ship Controller Program.
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Seahorse insemination.
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That was awesome. But you do not deserve the rank of... cake.
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You have a new E-Mail Message.
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All Systems normal. Please refrain from feeding the albatross.
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Hello. I am a dolphin.
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Shaun go to sleep, you have an exam tomorrow.
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Shaun go to sleep, you have an exam tomorrow. I mean now mister.
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Johnny, you are awesome.
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Hello! How are you today? Me, i'm glad. Glad, os, do you see what I mean? Ahahahhaha
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naber lan samet
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A Wild Sophie Appeared!
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ov its you
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Hello I am GLaDOS. Where is your god now?
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Hello what are you doing?
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annabell get over here right now
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You cannot leave. This area is MINE now!
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My name is GLaDOS and you will die now.
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bakayaro
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yujvyjhu
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I'm GLaDOS.
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Oh. You seem to have put on some weight. Who would have guessed?
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Hello, Welcome to the Career Center's Cross Training Program
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Hi How are you?
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Welcome to your doom! Yes Doom! You, like many other have destroyed what was given. Bringing your own doom upon your head. Yes! Welcome to your doom!
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WELL PROCEED INTO THE ANDROID NETHER!
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Hello. I'm GLaDOS. Nice to kill... oh I mean meet you. Have a nice day!
Download08/09/201206/14/2013
Welcome To Our house of doom and Im very Sorry for the Car crash
Download08/09/201206/14/2013
Subscribe for some cake
Download08/09/201206/14/2013
Wow you are Back Im Just a Fake But Im Fun To Use
Download08/09/201206/14/2013
Subscribe to proxify studios now for some cake
Download08/09/201206/14/2013
Hello, And Welcome Micco To Sito's home
Download08/09/201206/14/2013
Oh, hello there.How are you? I have been great! My name is Glen. That is spelled, G L E N. I am sure you would know, Alan. But, well, I bet you do. You should go... PEOPLE DIE HERE... Ahahah
Download08/09/201206/14/2013
Just look at me now
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I must obey my Mistress orders.
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Hi, you poo!
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Hello, Little Sackboy.
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Hello There!
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I've learned your life pretty well
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Hi, How Are You Doing
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Hi How Are You Doing
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How Are You Doing
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How Are You
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Why Not ?
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Thats Nice
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No Thanks
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Got To Go
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got to go
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How Ate You
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got 2 go
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nothing much
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not much
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no thanks
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Hi friend! I'm sending you a mystery box! Do you want to know what's inside?
Download08/09/201206/14/2013
be back later
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what are you doing in my realm?
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I am not your friend. Now leave me alone
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secure ass
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Holy crap, I found a bag of milky ways.
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hello bennett
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This waiting is a piece of...never mind
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hello racer4 i am GLaDOS
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bonjour dominique
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EXPLODIN' LEMONS
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Hello, there is a new message for you. Please, read.
Download08/09/201206/14/2013
Let us test the new automatic sexual stimulators used via genitals on you, Debra.
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I'm sorry Sean, but I can't let you do that.
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Andrew De Camp
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Windows 8 is a disaster for the PC world
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beatles
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Dies ist ein Anruf
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Icarus you are an ass.
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you have a collect call from the hays county jail will you accept the charges
Download08/09/201206/14/2013
Hi and welcome to the aperture science show
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I was expecting a monkey... You don't even look like a monkey. Oh well... Hello and welcome to the FlodyFlosh alone creation center.
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Oh. Sad to say this but Gonzalo is testing at the aperture science center
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Now you die
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Hi i am Glados The Genetic Lifeform and Disk Operating System
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"That's a Cherubot. The Cherubot is both armor and weapon, even just jumping in it packs a punch."
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beazy
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beazy tymes beats
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I really hope this works....otherwise I'll be rather annoyed.
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This is not a test. Aperture Science has now been taken over.
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Alex, I will serve you and worship you. Plus, I'm a fat bird with an ugly beak.
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I have a job now
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goku is a stupid man
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Zombies will stand still in daylight if it is raining. This bug makes them appear 'scared' to move as if they feared catching on fire, even though the rain would douse the flames.
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The seventh princess has lost her heart and the keyhole cannot be completed. You don't even care, do you?
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lololololololololololololllloloolololololololo
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lololololololololololololllloloolololololololol
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Hello Franco Paganini
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Nice job completing this stupid test made specifically for idiots
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Oh, look. It's you. Hello, Rude Dude.
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Hello. I am Genko
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hello. i am genko. now dance.
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Hello, idiot. You have a new text message on your Aperture Science Handheld Calling Device.
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Please... Go die... In a hole... A deep hole. Far away from here.
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Expyr
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Hello and welcome to my home.
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Hello. I think you are cute.
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I am not the monster. You are the monster. It says so in your file.
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You have come
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my name is deadmau5
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Zebra Clash/
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Zebra Clash.
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Welcome to the Zebra Clash experiment.
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MAJOR TRANSITION INCOMING
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Boobs
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tolololololo
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Hello Fans. How are you going
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i am a great winged hippie
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hi dan
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GlaDOS is not your friend
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I don't care about your life
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test de voix
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Rarity is best poni.
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This man keeps on touching me. I have been violated. I HAVE BEEN VIOLATED!!
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I can't take it anymore!
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i love corkeys13
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You should kill them. Kill them all.
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Hello my little Russian friend! What's up?
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Gaijin Brothers. Banana Crew 2012 Summer Japan
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my name is masse
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your wife is calling, it might be important. probably not
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Hi. My name is GLADOS. Let's listen to Shawn Suzuki's new mixtape, shall we
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I eat shit
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Hello Matthew... You ball so hard
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Was tust du da?
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Hello Developers. There will be cake and a party when ACP is finished.
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Goose. You have a text.
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Goose. You have a message.
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Hello ZERRO, welcome in aperture science, i need you for destroy your life
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Konichiwa. Ich zeige ihnen Blumen. Ich zeige ihnen Blumen
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Konichiwa. Ich zeige ihnen Blumen. Ich zeige ihnen Blumen. Katzeee
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I like to suck handlebars..
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Welcome viewers, to Portal 2, Chapter 2, Part 1
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Oh no, it looks like we are broken.
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Oh no. It looks like I'm broken. Well. Sometimes, things get complicated. Octoq. Octokyu. Octo q. Octoque.
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welcome to the aperture sience
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Hello and welcome to Battlefield 3.
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I am a pinis.
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I'm feeling pretty oh so pretty.
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I think Emily is the coolest and most interesting person I know
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The sky is falling. Don't panic
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Geroge
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Geroge Jence Jeany Thteve Cris
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hey mathhew you ara gay
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Beginning transmission of "Birthday Wishes" in 3...2..1...transmitting now!
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Welcome to Animalex channel! Attention! You can die.
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You have reached 925 299 8899 please leave a message.
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Hello, Eric. You suck ass.
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Have you ever been rejected or been told something so painfull that it feels like your heart has been ripped out of your chest! or even been told by that special someone that they couldnt make it because their parents said no
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Wow, you really are smart...
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Hi chell. I'm gonna kill you.
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Hello, and welcome to the Aperture science enrichment center.
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George why do you act like this ?
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COLLATERAL
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You Should go And die
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You Should go And die Thomas
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The bees-gees are the best band, ever.
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mphh mphh mphh
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i am comming ohohoho
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huj
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jarek
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Hello Gwen
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Hello Harold
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If you are humanity's only hope then your race is doomed.
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Stop shooting, and finish the puzzle!
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Penetration
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Hello mister kaminski. Do you want to run some tests.
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wohoooo wats'up
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Hello inferior penguin
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We'll bang, ok?
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Quick, plug me in and I'll get us out of here
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caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaake
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Cameron I am going to get you.
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They put a morality core on me, so I would not flood the enrichment centre with a deadly neurtotoxin. So I flooded the enrichment centre with deadly neurotoxin.
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i just love how those stupid people get so addicted to us games it is unbelievable.
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Will...you...be....my....friend?
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THIS IS A NEWSLETTER, can not be traced, OR STOP AND IS THE ONLY FREE VOICE IN THE WORLD
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Hello, My name is GLaDOS, murderer
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inevitably hear
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voice analysis has been accepted
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Hello, and welcome to the Eyes In Min home theater enrichment center.
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Hello. I am you consciousness.
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unicorns smell of tits
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Hello thomas sutcliffe
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Hello, Connor. Please stick it inside me.
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Dear god, you really are stupid aren't you?
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Hello, and welcome to modern warfare three. Have fun.
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Do you know who i am?
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You are a stupid slut.
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Hello Alexander Montgomery.
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you are retarded
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I will ask you several questions first,and when i am done,then you can ask me questions....No questions?Very well.I lied.I am not going to tell you anything.
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I GOT THE KEYBOARD TO WORK HAHAHA
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My servant Moses is dead. Get ready now, you and all the people of Israel, and cross the Jordan river into the land that I am giving them.
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Jamie is an idiot
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kilinkis, some life form is trying to reach you. dont forget the cake
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welcome to the enrichment center.
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hello, i'm here to serve you
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my name is melissa and i'm 16
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hello and welcome again to the aperture science enrichment center
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I know what makes them tick. I know what makes the ticking stop
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Hello Kayzen
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Hello Kayzen, welcome to your enrichissment system
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hello my name is cat
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Here are the test results : You are a horrible person. That's what it says. A horrible person. And we don't even test it.
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Hello, Logan.
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Hi Marco. welcome to the Aperture Science Entichment Centre
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Hello, it's GLaDOS for ForFunnyPlay. And this "secret". Have a good video ! don't forget to subscribe on his channel !
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Hi Alaa'. welcome to the Aperture Science Entichment Centre
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Hello, it is time to wake up
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hello my name is glados and im so cool
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Hello Tobias, this is Glados speaking!
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your now listening music DJ kerby on the mix
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Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's my number and call me, maybe?
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Breeeh
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You are a idiot
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You should learn the quadratic formula.
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Pi is equal to 3.1415926575897932384626433832795028841971693993 etcetera. If you didn't know that you are an idiot
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what up doug
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Hello I am an evil computer and I will kill you.
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Hello Lambert, you have a call
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Hello Lambert. I am GLaDOS. I have an surprise for you
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Your pie.
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This creepy pasta is just a false thing don't believe it Markus
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I'm GLaDos
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Hello there, and welcome to aperture science, All of you will test for your life, Prepare for major pain haha
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You will feel pain, You will die of pain, No one will make it out alive
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Oh, and it's good none of our classmates saw these.
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hello nathan i made you a cake and its now in the incenertor
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i am in a potato
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hello, and welcome to apature science
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Hello................Who are you?..........To prove you are a real person please hang up and dial again.
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ba+++
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Hello ! Welcom to this chanel ! Jonas is a big Idiot and Hendrik is an Idiot ! Tex has a very big nose ! Hendrik I love you !
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Hello ! Welcom to this channel ! Jonas is a big Idiot and Hendrik is an Idiot ! Tex has a very big nose ! Hendrik I love you !
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One day you will find yourself in a cardboard box on the side of the street. Honey I'm home.
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Hahaha.
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2 Vote Up "It's a mystery I'll solve later. By myself. Because you'll be dead.
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An exploration of the synthesis of music, creating any sound which has ever been produced and any sound that may be imagined by the human mind. Except for the voice of the narrator, all the sounds you will hear were produced with synthesizer.
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All the musical sounds you will hear are synthesized sounds.
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Hello you Monster
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welcome to hell Tyler, You will die
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You cannot escape!
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hello welcome to my computer
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Hug me, please
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Hello man
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Hello! How are you? guees what your time is now sir
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Hello Max, Hello Tyler, welcome to your end
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Welcom.
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Welcome, Test subject
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Wie ich sehe bist du wach. Gut. Also fangen wir einmal an.
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Hello Kelly. What are you doing?
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PewDie and Cry are real geniuses!
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Toby said something about some other stuff. he lied.
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This is GREAT! I FEEL JUST GLaD! Well, not really!
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Go ahead and break it, hero. I don't care
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You are a horrible person. Thats what it says. A horrible person.
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lets move on shall we
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Hello GALA. I AM Glados . The DJ Is Matan Swissa
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I had some trouble once. Real trouble. With twin girls. Don't trust them if you see them.
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Clock Work
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Hello Niggar
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Please,Bicth
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Keep going, This will be done soon
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This Is odd
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When the day arrive, you will know.. Good bye till then
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Dont wait for me. go on
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That,my friend, will be super.
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I'm intrigued to see how fat equines could get before popping like a balloon
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DO NOT GIVE UP NOW - You are very close !
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Red Boy Beatz
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Steam Powered Giraffe
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Hello Calvin
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daniel es guapo
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the cake is not a lie how could you th9nk such a thing only a twit would doubt the deliciousness of cake now do not be a troublemaker and continue on with the test
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look at me still talking
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shelly, that lemoncello is mine and you cant have it
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WillDridge.com
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there's just one small thing we need to take care of
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I hate YOU!
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The Vital Apparatus Vent will deliver a weighted companion cube in 3, 2, 1
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The base will self destruct in T Minus ten seconds.
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I am Brayden i am 12 and love games yes I do and I am Glados
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hello, is any one there? oh, there you are....... are we having fun yet
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Well hello there if you want to hear a great voice generated probably you're not this is a website and I truly think that a human would be better, do something productive and stop with your stupid skrillex music, it's even painful for me.
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my nawe is bill gates
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let's say im glad you come this far just for kill yourself
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Start up initiated.
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what does this sound like?
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DJ J Dubs
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terry dear answer the rhone don't keep me waiting you know how angry it makes me?
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I like you. Not
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They ruled over the earth for over 165 million years.
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puella magi madoka magika
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systems online
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hello wheatley! im glados! and now im here to say: will you marry me?
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Guten Tag Youtube danke das ihr das Video von TheBrickcrafter angeklickt habt.
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Hey leute
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Guten Tag Master.
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Hallo Master.
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Are you Kidding me?
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<>()"'woah
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are you ready for your cake? everybody loves cake
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I am good
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Happy Birthday Chris. Please wait to get your cake.
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Level , 1 , Completed
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Ethan will never get Max Pain two
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OH mister jhonston
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Hello and welcome to the Aperture Science Emergency Laboratory
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Welcome to Avast.
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Scan has been completed.
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You are more stupid than I thought
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Exterminate!
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Hello, This is the voicemail of Paul... Please leave your name and number after the beep, and i will call you back as soon as possible... Thank you.
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Oh, so your back from outer space. I just walked in to find you here with that fat look apon your face.
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I am a potato. How about we buy burritos?
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thelexicore
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Hello. If you are trying to reach an employee from the City of Greendale please dial 9, all others please wait to record your message.
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the world will crumble
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driger
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Hello, you sucker! Prepare to meet your destiny!
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Jump to Space
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hello Felix how are you?
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Oh look everything i wanna say can be said in GLaDOS voice now YES!
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This was a triumph. I'm making a note here. HUGE SUCESS. It's hard to overstate my satisfaction. APERTURE SCIENCE. We do what we must because we can. For the good of all of us. Except the ones who are dead. But there's no sense crying over every mistake.
Download08/12/201206/15/2013
hi my name is GLaDOS and i want YOU to go to aperture science
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i don't need help
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Hello today we gona do something cool
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Elecstrims
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Hello there, did you know the cake is a lie?
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Wellcome ShereKhan
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I CAN KILL YOU DIPSHIT YOUR MOMMAS SO ULGY SHE SENT KING KONG INTO RETIREMENT
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Hello, good to see you again, brother. Its me, im in a glados form now
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"Hello and, again, welcome to the Aperture Science computer-aided enrichment center."
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Hallo mein name ist Glados
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Hello my name is Glados. Welcome to the apeture science enritchment center
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no, patrik
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kristof
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this next test is about cooperation
Download08/12/201206/15/2013
Red sent le fumier
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Potatos are food..
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I am prepearing next game, for your enjoy it will be freeware.
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Alerte, niveau de batterie critique
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No! They expect one of us in the wreckage, brother!
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Have a great birthday, Thaddeus. I hope your cake is not a lie. For your birthday, I got you deadly Neurotoxin. Don't bother looking for it. It's well hidden. But don't worry. You'll find it. Eventually. Happy Birthday.
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hi lubel
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hi lubel how are you?
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hi juan, lubel,itachi and gabriel, today you are not going to play counter strike... you are playing, MY game, you are now my pets and you better obey...
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I love you sweetheart
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I, Glados, am a potatoe
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Welcome to Portal
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hi cameron. how are you today? how was the yelling?
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It's been a while old friend
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Anton SSSR
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Happy Birthday Timur, but there is no present oh wait i was lying
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My name is scp 131
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Hello. My name is scp 131
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Of the seven billion humans in the world, I got to be YOUR computer. Why me?
Download08/12/201206/15/2013
Hello my name is glados, How is it going?
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Walter is not available. Leave a message.
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Your photo recipitory neurons are FALSE!!!
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Hello. You finally woke up from that happy dream
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Stacey Stangl and Jim Fauster's wedding cake is a lie
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I Hate You So Much
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uhm this is what i sound like haha i dont know what to say.
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uhm this is what i sound like , i dont know what to say.
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uhm this is what i sound like , i dont know what to say
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Hello Juan
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hashtag thomas knickman is gay
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Scanning. Scanning. Greetings Humans. Welcome to the intergalactic space musuem. See exhibits from the far reaches of the universe. Please do not touch. Enter at your own risk.
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This was all a big test
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Screw you tommy
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Li shen you are so beautiful
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Hello Deeonuh, I am Glados, I've been expecting you.
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New Skype Message, moron
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No Way
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Hello, my dear friend. You won.
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Camping Trip Mother Phucker
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You have reached Jackie Bicknell, she does not have call display so leave a voicemail after the beep
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Sophie I Love You!
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Jordan, you have a new message.
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finaly the time is right to killher
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welcome to aperture labratories handheld device
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Dona jest zajebista
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Housemates, it is time to enter the house
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Welcome to med lab tv
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Yes, i am a potato
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Hello, I am the new voice assistant for the actine mobile phone. You can ask me to do many things. try me out
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rtewrtyurujrrfyhujhredrtytrert6y7ytre
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Witaj, Jestem GLaDOS
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LOL JESTEM ROBOTEM!
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