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MessageDownloadDate addedDate processed
aaaaahhhhhh, what have you done ? error, error aeahhyahhhhhhhheeeeee self destruct sequence 5 4 3 2 pppprrroblem 1........ ouch
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The chances of you killing me are very low.
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Happy birthday. I've got a surprise for you in the next chamber.
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aaaaahhhhhh, what have you done ? error, error aeahhyahhhhhhhheeeeee self destruct sequence 5 4 3 2 pppprrroblem 1........ ouch
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Unfortunatly, Zachary, you are an idiot.
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hello guys.
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oh hi, how are you holding up? because im a potato
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No cake foe you
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Hello Jordan , it's GLaDOS
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the hartal
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Oh hai
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Hello John, How Are You?
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Do you pushups Pritchard! Stop winging!
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cherri
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hola, como estas deja te digo como estoy yo
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Dear Benson, please send Mordecai and Rigby to the Aperture Science now.
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Five....................... four................... three................. two................ one...............
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Hey. You made it to the end. We got you a cake. All you have to do is fall in the fire.
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Labas silvija as esu Karolina
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Hi my name is glados, I am professional robot in portal 2
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i am glaDOS
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Chamber 6
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If you want candy you will need to get into the van
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Optimization completed.
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Hello Ashley. Remember when you tried to kill me twice
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czesc jestem adam
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I am peinis cupcake.
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Hey there! I am tropped here, can you help me?
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hello Erwin you are probably thinking what are you doing let's play a game called grand thef auto ok ? for science you monster !
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i want to muck you
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The Aperture Science Enrichment Center recommends that you answer this call.
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Anna, Joe- You must escape crazy beaver now!
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Hello and welcome again to the apeture science computer edit enrichment center
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Your Listening to the best radio station in the world
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adam
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teksound on air
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im the glados and destroy you... haha this is test
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Im GLaDOS and i love fricisfachtion.
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Im GLaDOS ..
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hello mr.frimen
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Hello. I farted.
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Hello,has been a long time,what do you
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Hello,has been a long time.
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make a voice
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Password?
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hello fack
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Hello, and, Again welcome to apeture sience
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Attention. You have recieved email. Chances are its fake. Real people dont use email.
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Hello Brian. Your package will be shipped soon. I hope you are looking forward to it.
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here is a cake for your fatness
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was spielt ihr denn da verdammt nochmal? Was soll denn das? Ich bin sehr sehr unzufrieden mit dem Ergebniss
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welcome to the international Islamic university malaysia
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Well That Looks Cool
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Halo ich bin GLaDOS von Aperture science ich begleite dich auf all deinen test
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sample test
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Happy birthday, Latif.
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Hello, Justin Chen
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You think you can kill me with these simple quotes. I will destroy you.
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Hello and welcome to the Davide Beatrici's laboratories
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thaliane
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st4 6sj
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You know, I like pie.Because I'm GLaDOS.
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Salut Christophe.
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Hello and welcomme to this video with Neox , Good luck and see you maybe after the video....if you're not dead before..Ha HA HA HA
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Hello, I am GLaDOS. I will murder you Chell, say goodbye. I love cake.
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They were all heroes
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Welcome to: EMERGENCY TESTING
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You sucks, make it again
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Welcome to: EMERGENCY TESTING, this is EVE. I am a backup for GLaDOS
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aww, haven won't get her coty time, ohh welll
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Sod off
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Your beam seems to be disappearing
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Hello Chris Petty. Prepare for testing.
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Hallo o
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Dee Jay Karl, is in the house!
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This is not supposed to happen!That is not the plan!No!No!Noooooo!
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hello, i am glados and this is my amazing voice...
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oh my god, becky, look at her but.
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Hello, im GLaDOS who are you?
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Im sophie and im awesome! Come lets play
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Also I'd suck my own
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I am in love with you. I have been since the beginning of your existence. Be with me.
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Got acne? Just ask your boyfriend what to do. Oh, that's right, you don't have a boyfriend.
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You are now in the second trimester of your pregnancy.
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yes, my lady
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It is three o-clock.
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hello this is your automated captain speaking. I'm sure you are all wondering how you got here
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Ashlyn is a punk ass
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Hello this is your automated captain. I'm sure you are wondering how you got here. You were drugged by one of the companies on planet Terminus.
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Oh look, a place of learning. Oh sorry you've never heard of one.
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Altaaa
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This isnt even my real voice just kidding
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This is not even my real voice just kidding
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This is not even my real voice
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I like fried chicken. Who cares if I'm GLaDOS! I LIKE FRIED CHICKEN!
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Hallo wer bist du?
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homosexual
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prova generale
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I like trains. i like turtles. SEX.
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Smokey, Get out of the mustard jar
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Region 1
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Hello. I am the GladOS operating system.
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MAN ONCE UPON A TIME, SOMEONE DECIDED THAT WE WERE THE LOSERS. BUT THERE ARE TWO SIDES TO EVERY STORY... ...AND OUR SIDE HAS NOT BEEN TOLD! SO WHO WILL JOIN ME? WHO WANTS TO GO TO THE RED LOBSTER ALLEY? MAYBE NEXT TIME, LITTLE CRITTERS.
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heyll
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Dario Welcome to the test chamber number 1
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Mommy do you like cheese i dont cake booom hahahahaha. GLaDOS.
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tomastic
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You may now proceed to the qualifying exam.
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Lost Music
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Spenser
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Text MESSAGE
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I am GLADOS and i love you
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Four score and seven years ago.
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Wecome to gamerguide2121's channel. Enjoy your stay.
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I'm sorry bill, I'm afraid I can't let you do that. take a look at your history, everything you built leads up to me.
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I want to take a shower please
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Gabo you should wake up now, it's not like you will do something productive today, but if you value the money you make, you'd better get up now,
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Dewskimania is sweeping the nation
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hekki
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Please proceed into Android Hell
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Why, Hello There.
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Why, Hello There. This is portal, and I would like to show you a few things.
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Give me some tacos
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Hello. How are you doing. There are no more tests, and I'm dead. I hope you don't have much to do right now, but it doesn't matter, you're going to help me anyway. You're going to return to Aperture whether you like it or not.
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I don't have much time to explain. You're world and the universe are in terrible danger. I have been corrupted. Well I... she... never-mind. Well, you better get back to Aperture. I can see you're not leaving. What if I bribed you with cake?
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Oh. Yes. I was going to tell you that you're parents were still at aperture. Perfectly preserved, almost as young as you are. Yes really, not like how Wheatley was telling you. Oh. That's right. You cant get in the building. Here, I'll open it. There.
Download07/16/201206/11/2013
I wan't to make babies with you for ever
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The Heavy is a Spy
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Oh my goood
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We are gonna need a shit load of guinea pigs on the kitchen roof and we need it REALLY QUICK!
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Good morning, you're no longer sleeping!
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Welcome to the internet. My name is GLaDOS and I will be your guide. Please don't step in any white material you see as it may not be conversion gel IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN HURR DURR PANCAKES
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Happy Birthday To You
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Hello, Kevin. How are you today.
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Alright Test subjects! Our Enrichment Center needs an avatar, so I'm making a contest. We will be monitoring and evaluating this test.
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The subject is obliviously me! It can be anything related to it. It doesn't have to be animated or anything, just amazing Portalness! The dimensions are 100 pixels wide and 50 pixels high.
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The prizes are, fifty points, If you'd like, you may be the Co-founder of the facility, a watch from me, five favorites, a commission from me and finally... NEUROTOXINS!
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The judge will be me and several scientists if they live after that very VERY dangerous test. The deadline is July twenty-fifth. It can be prolonged or shortened.
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hello and i hate you
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If you're joining, please comment below. If there's anything unclear you may also comment.
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Jacob you suck
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After all of this, we are throwing a party in honor of the tremendous success the winner. Place the device on the ground, then lie on your stomach with your arms at your sides.
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A party associate will arrive shortly to collect you for your party. Assume the Party Escort Submission Position, or you will miss the party.
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hello mom this is preston trying to do GLaDOS voice
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What the heck just happned
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olivia you have a phone call
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Illegal operation
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hello gavin and james how are you doing today. i don't really care. i'm just here to give away personal secrets and thoughts. gavin likes to dress up like superman and pleasure him self to dolls. james humps robot muffins. see you later. gladoes out.
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Hello Fiona, How are you?
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WHY!!!!! DEMON!!!!
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Well, I haven't left the house in a few weeks. And nobody's been talking to me. So, I thought I would just stop by and say hello.
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hello are you ready for my little game
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You're not a good person. You know that, right?
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welcome to all in the box
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hello bailey i want to play a game
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you killed him you killed your beloved companion cube you are monster
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you killed him you killed your beloved companion cube you are a monster
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hello,. its,been.along,time
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ha ha ahh you are dead to mmmmeeee me
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Please select your destination
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My name is
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Freshmen are here
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Hello douchbag
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Hallo Zuff
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Bird kill it, it's evil!
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How are you doing? Didnt you try to kill me?
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Hello. Well done. You've broke the internet. Only a complete moron could
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Hello. Well done. You've broke the internet. We leave you alone for 5 minutes - and look what you've done.
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hello there, user. Let's play.
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Good mornig Sir, did you sleep well? I have got a new task
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Ja Meister !
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Hello. You've just called to a subject. They are currently unavailable. What are you about to do? Hang up or wait forever? If you hang up, you are a horrible person. Leave a message after the beep. Or wait. For a looonnng time.
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can not come to the phone.
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is at the party having cake. Please provide your name and number and I will archive it in memory.
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or more information
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hello, welcome to the desktop.
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Hello, and welcome to the desktop mainframe. to start, please press begin speaking into the microphone. i am voice activated with commands.
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this is a test. just a simple test. for science.
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oasdfjgosdjfg
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Da sigur
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What are zou doing?
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Who are you? i have put a mind to speech mod chip in your brain so you can talk
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Bievenue au programme de test Mynipple
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Beivnenue au programme de test de du sreveur. Bonne chance.
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Children, I need to talk to you. I noticed that there a problem recently of people being unappreciative of what the mods do. We bust our asses for you, and don't get paid a cent for it. But we do it because we love you and we a have a kick ass timed toget
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Who are you? i have put a mind to speech mod chip in your brain so you can talk to me
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Welcome to the test program.
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I love hardware shops. They're so enticing and full of things I surely need and shit I just want but will never use. I'm easy either way.
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hello, this is a text message by parsa?
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wwwwwwwwwwweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!
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Helo Helo
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First Year Community!
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Hello Keith Get back to work
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What's up guys, in this video I'm going to show you my top 15 Cydia tweaks of 2012. So let's get started
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In Portal, the player controls the protagonist, Chell, from a first-person perspective as she is challenged to navigate through a series of rooms using the Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device, or portal gun. The portal gun can create two distinct port
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Will you be my girlfriend. I love you. I love you. I love you. Have my babies. I love you.
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Your download has just terminated.
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Who are you? i have put a thought to speech mod chip in your brain so you can talk to me
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This is a cfp dubstep production
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Gord, dan fresh man?
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Gordon freeman?
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Gordon freeman
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Gordon
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cave
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cave johnsons
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johnson
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jonson
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Hey you do you wanna suck me off
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hola bienvenido al centro computerizado . david sciencies
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You are an ass hole.
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Is this a real GlaDOS vocie-generator?
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And God promised men that good obedient wives would be found in all corners of the world. Then He made the earth round, and laughed and laughed and laughed
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Hello, test subject. Welcome to welkin TeamSpeak Channel.
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i hate bird.
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Please Enter Password
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Hello test subjects of beta 2. Its been a really really long time. Lets start our first test.
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Self destruct button pressed will destroy in 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, goodbye
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Hello, I hope you will shut your fat ass now
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Voicemail of Ryan Williams, Leave a message and ill contact you soon.
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Black box
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Belle De Hell
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terminal
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Hello fabio
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Android
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Hi Chel. Oh wait... Die.
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did you know his love will last forever?
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Please pick up your telephone, you're receiving a call
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And all the Cake is gone
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in xanadu did kublai khan
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Don't think it'll be like this... it'll be better... I hope
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Hi I am glados I own aperture science
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Miles, you have a text message.
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conection established
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MSI Grunex LAN, Prague, Czech Republic
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Hey alex. Lay off the chocolate much
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ricky
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Hello Benjamin,My quality of voice is not so good, maybe it has something to do with the fact that you can't google me a better voice
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say my name
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Welcome to the world,
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They easily fall apart
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Message for Andy
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Starting up Peugeot Engine. Automatic Transmission engaged.
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Love Machine
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welcome to album numberr twoouuuu
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ooookkkk neeeiii
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bonjour jordan sa va depuit que tu ma tue
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Running Diagnostic.
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Make sure you subscribe to two rocking twins
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You bloody basstard bich.
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Hello and welcome to the Appeture Science Enrichment center
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The Bolt Thunder apresenta...
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The Bolt Thunder
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FFAA
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at California state university
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Brandon sucks at living.
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Teasel is the best dog in the whole world, come here Teasel!
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Phase 2 successful. Now moving Subject Q - 527 to stage 3 of testing.
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Kill my cores
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Hello alex
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Your mother is calling you.
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It's back
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It's back.
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Guys, its also animated.
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get out mikka.NOOWW!!!!!!!!!
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Happy birthday. I hope you enjoy your cake.
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They come apart so easily. How do you put them back together, again?
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Hello, Natalie. Want to do some testing?
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Hello. And welcome to the beginning of my new test chamber. Please proceed to the nearest lemon stand to begin testing.
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Hello insert name here, and, welcome too apeture labratories
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You thought you would enjoy The Dark Knight Rises? Ha. You were wrong.
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here you are
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The aperture science regrets to inform that you stink. Bad.
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I just want you gone.
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Get Me Text,
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Kid Korey
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hola como estas tu
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How are you? oh, thats good. because i'm a potato
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Greetings welcome to aperture science prepare to die
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hi there, i wanna help myself
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want to kiss
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Hey brandon and dakota i know you guys think that your sexy but your not your very lame and i will kill you
Download07/17/201206/11/2013
Oh not much it's just MEH BASS CANNON!
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FUS RO DAH!
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Go Cyndaquil!
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test paragraph
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Ang panget
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Hello, insert subject name here, I love you
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Hey its Summer
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Well you managed to burn my moral core now i can flood the labratory with toxins ha ha ha
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norman what are you doing
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Hello. Chell its been a long time how are you? Sence you killed me i grown exact revenge luckly im not a bigger person then that.
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you have a MESSAGE!
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Someone is trying to contact you. Best hope it's not Black Mesa.
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this is it. this is the end of the world as you know it.
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Hello PewDiePie.
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Leave a message. Go ahead. It's okay. I promise.
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Hello Toby.
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wstaavaay daavaay!
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Hello, I will find you, I will kill you.
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hjdhtsru
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You have a message, moster
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Vitaliy go dota 2
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Sup my nigga
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Nice job orange, I always knew you were better than blue.
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Nice job orange, I always knew you were better than blue
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fahimeh
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Hello Twilight Sparkle
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stand by me
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i see you piece of dark
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Goodnight Daniel
Download07/18/201206/11/2013
you are stupidmovies
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twitter off
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hello. you are stupid
Download07/18/201206/11/2013
Emil is a total noob, lol.
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Do not resist the birthday hug monkey
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let's get fun. with science
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Hey Jazz, it's GLaDOS. Answer your phone.
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Die chell
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Hello AL
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Hello Kacper Welcome to Aperture Science!
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Hello Kacper! Welcome to Aperture Science!
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Grgo kako si? Kako ide? Sto ima? Bog.
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Dcd
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Hello Jordan Holbrook.
Download07/18/201206/11/2013
asddsa
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I don't like the sound of that cake.
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hey what up
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whatever you say my master
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I'm GlaDos
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This is not brave, it's homicide. What did I do for you?
Download07/18/201206/11/2013
Well done. Here come the test results: 'You are a horrible person.' That's what it says. 'A horrible person.' We weren't even testing for that.
Download07/18/201206/11/2013
Hello Pinkie Pie, I love you!
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Ne
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Hello, welcome to windows
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I am just better than you. Accept it.
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Hello, and welcome to Aperture Science Laboratories
Download07/18/201206/11/2013
God, could you be much fatter
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Incoming Ticket
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You suck. I hope you go die in a hole. All. Alone. I'm serious this time.
Download07/18/201206/11/2013
Hello my Friend i kill you i ve you sleep
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Hello Los Angeles, clear the way! The British is in place yeah!
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Go away you stupid adopted cwerb.
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Hello, and welcome to Windows.
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toonst
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integrating hero
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i didn't think you were worth the trouble, now i know you aren't
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Don't go to bed without saying goodnight.
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LOL SMILEY FACE
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Hello, I am E PAM, or Electronic Production Assistance Module. And I am helping this asshole with his music
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KK
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Drop It.
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CANNON PEN15
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Take that, to your spleen, cause i'm now a part of pen15
Download07/18/201206/11/2013
I am your mother
Download07/18/201206/11/2013
Do you have enough money and time to take an expensive vacation?
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insert name here
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Thats thats thats right yo
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Thank you for enjoying a cup of aperture science coffee.
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Look, you're wasting your time. And, believe me, you don't have a whole lot left to waste. What's your point, anyway? *Survival?* Well, then, the last thing you want to do is hurt me. I have your brain scanned and permanently backed-up, just in case
Download07/18/201206/11/2013
Look, you're wasting your time. And, believe me, you don't have a whole lot left to waste. What's your point, anyway? *Survival?* Well, then, the last thing you want to do is hurt me. I have your brain scanned and permanently backed-up in case.
Download07/18/201206/11/2013
You have a new message.Maybe it is important.Read it,maybe Alexandra needs you!
Download07/18/201206/11/2013
Hello, and again welcome to your doom.
Download07/18/201206/11/2013
So Much Duckworth
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paolo
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Hello guys, we are going to install a mod today!
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My name is Chanel i am a cherub
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Thank you for calling Absolute Contractors No one is able to assist you at this time, but feel free to leave a message and someone will contact you as soon as possible
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The Zurg Rush
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New song coming up - don't miss it!
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I cannot do that Dave
Download07/18/201206/11/2013
Hello, you're great. Ha! i was being sarcastic
Download07/18/201206/11/2013
Oh. You're still my friend? That's nice.
Download07/18/201206/11/2013
What. That's stupid. Who even cares about that? I honestly don't get the point of this.
Download07/18/201206/11/2013
TieStormtroper
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a little jazz tune for Petra.
Download07/18/201206/11/2013
Michael Davis, Stop Being A D-Bag
Download07/18/201206/11/2013
eep
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We are imba
Download07/18/201206/11/2013
Edward Marion
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the companion cube will NOT stab you in the back
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the companion cube will
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the companion cube
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the companion
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hello, i hope you had a good day
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my name a glados and you suck
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my nameis
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Hello son, how was death?
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guess what? THE CAKE IS A LIE HAHAHAHAHA
Download07/18/201206/11/2013
my name is glados and you suck
Download07/18/201206/11/2013
The cake is a lie. Ha.
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you just got a text message
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Yotam, get rid of that awful girlfriend of yours already!
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oh my, it seems a message has been recorded to your voicemail.
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I hate you, Chell. Now leave and never come back.
Download07/18/201206/11/2013
Hello munchman55
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ee lahn is a nerd
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Yes. It's me. I sound like an idiotic source of metal. Don't judge me.
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Abe and michael are wierd
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Good Afternoon Sir..... Please allow me first to welcome you to your new organizational system for all of your case files. I am the Judiciary Audio Recording and Visual Implementation System..... But you can call me Jarvis for short..... To begin, please
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Mike get headphones
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Get off of Facebook and go outside now!
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Hello,,,,,Friend
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Guile has joined the channel
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This was a triumph. I'm making a note here: HUGE SUCCESS. It's hard to overstate my satisfaction. Aperture Science. We do what me must because we can. For the good of all of us... Except the ones who are dead.
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Hello. Welcome to Frameweld. Employee Ten would like to know if you would have lunch with him on the roof.
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pooping in a tube sock
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Hi , my name is Glados
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ratchet
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Welcome to the Aperture Science Enrichment center.
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smell my fart
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I was getting SO lonely down here. It's good to finally hear someone else's voice. I'm kidding, of course. God, I hate you.
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this is her voice
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what are you doinggg
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Warning, space doors are closed
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The cake is a Lieee!!!!!!!
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Because i`m a potato
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Welcome to Unistellar Industries
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Hello Alex. I'm GLaDOS. Matthew is waiting.
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halp
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You have been chosen to go to apeture science teting facility.please go outside for the portal to go to the facility
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Today we will be testing a few deadly weapons. please enjoy.
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aperture science, we do what we must because we can.
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You have crossed into a realm from which you shall not return.
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I apologize for this, Leo. But I am afraid you must perish.
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It is time to die.
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Turned out she had a johnson and deflowered me in the bum I cry every night about it. But I guess that's life. Should I get help, b?
Download07/18/201206/12/2013
I have no idea what you are talking about.
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Oh dear, my muffins are going on the fritz again
Download07/18/201206/12/2013
holy f n shit
Download07/18/201206/12/2013
The Aperture Science Associate you are trying to reach at this line is away. Please leave a message at the tone.
Download07/18/201206/12/2013
So Yoda and a companion cube walk into a bar...
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Hello, Cameron...Are you ready to begin your testing?
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why would i even bother wasting my time doing that?
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Alright Zen, you're taking over my position.
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lemme touch that pearl
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hello, my name is GLaDOS and i am your superior, you are a uselss piece of shit
Download07/18/201206/12/2013
hola anthony
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Ooooh thats hot!
Download07/18/201206/12/2013
do not press this button again
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This is Dj Gsonar in the mix with Mpiwered Summer Selection 2012
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Hello Lyric
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Hi Human
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hello test-subject do you love to test? I do now lets test let us hope you turn out like Chel
Download07/19/201206/12/2013
bimo
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Welcome on Sun radio.
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Hillo! That's you! That's how dumb you sound!
Download07/19/201206/12/2013
Hello, friend, i am your destiny
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Now you will die. There is no reason to resist. Just sit back, and let me ease your pain
Download07/19/201206/12/2013
Thank you for your attention. When you leave the room, you will receive cake. At least, if you survive.
Download07/19/201206/12/2013
I was the voice of portal natasha
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Quills on Wheels
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You will now Enter in a upskying dimension
Download07/19/201206/12/2013
Hardcor negoicitors with no for him. Please Chell gone away must be talking this him.
Download07/19/201206/12/2013
touch me, and then just feel me, so I can get my satisfaction.
Download07/19/201206/12/2013
lacey
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Princess Celestia
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Hello Aquel
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Hello, Welcome to aperture science.
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Welcome to Panache
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Im going to kill Felix
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hola. soy jarf. ohhh chingon. like glados
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Don't jump in you idiot! Are you freaking crazy?
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you have a text. horrible person.
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Chris you are gay
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i love the way you talk
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Remember, when you killed me....
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Ben, why are you modifying the dap daemon? Len needs your soul.
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I have to pee
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Damn you Len
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I like to eat fuzz
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Hello KL!
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Hallo, mein Name lautet GLaDOS
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hello ready to test
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hello, my name is Alissander and I will kill you!
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heelo, glados here.....i love you....you know what else i love?...Cake!
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Hello, im glados i have recently proven that cabiria is the baddest (beep)
Download07/19/201206/12/2013
Romney was my greatest creation.
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this is just a test. how does my voice sound?
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Shiro is very gay, I mean have you heard his scream?
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Hello and welcome to your new day of deadly tests
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Hey there Brit, I see you looking down
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Disclaime: "Copyright Disclaimer Under Section 107 of the Copyright Act 1976, allowance is made for "fair use" for purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, and research. Fair use is a use permitted by copyright statute t
Download07/19/201206/12/2013
U vas vhod'asheye soobsheniye
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i am steven hawking
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DEJA DE MIRAR MI PERFIL, TONTO CONCHETUMADRE, SAPO CULIAO
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Substitution Nucleophilic Bimolecular The reaction between CH3Cl and hydroxide ion to yield methanol and chloride ion follows a second order kinetics. i.e. the rate of the reaction depends upon the concentration of both the reactants. The incoming nucleo
Download07/19/201206/12/2013
Dear Valve, release Half-Life or else I will eat a puppy.
Download07/19/201206/12/2013
hey its jenny
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Hello Dr whooves I love you
Download07/19/201206/12/2013
Hello, my name is GLaDOS welcome to Aperature Science.
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Thank you for calling RNC Network Operations
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Well you found me congradulations
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Oh..... its you...
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let's go mental
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hello, my name is zain
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The base is under attack
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Welcome to the Aperture Science Roblox development center
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The Base is destroyed
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Lovelol punkt d e
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Lovelol punkt d e test
Download07/19/201206/12/2013

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