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MessageDownloadDate addedDate processed
good morning my only son
Download06/18/201206/08/2013
Can you hear me charlotte??
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Welcome to the Outcast, would you like some cake?
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Denis please do not install the Steam and you get a cake.
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Hey, Jiho. You seems that you don't have genitals.
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Logon Confirmed.
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This text reader is it effective ?
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Do you like. Yeah we like. waffles. pancakes. french toasts. De. do. Can't wait to get a mouth full
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whats up chell you are going to do some tests
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how are you mother truckers
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Hello my lord
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Linux sucks.
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heyu
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a 650-325-9021
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hi. Risa needs her money back.
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Raiden, turn the game console off right now. The mission is a failure. Cut the power right now. Don't worry, it's a game. It's a game just like usual. You'll ruin your eyes playing so close to the TV. Fine, forget it.
Download06/18/201206/08/2013
Lolololol
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Oh, look. I regret what i did eariler, but lets liik at the facts: One, your parents don't love you. Two, your lunges have been filled with artificial air and neurotoxins. Three , the cake isn't a lie. So if i were you, i'd finish the testing chambers.
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a love my ass
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he will kill us
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nice wprk but now i've to kill you
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Oh, parece que te has perdido.
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nice work but now i've to kill you
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No, is not you is a me, mario
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Fourscore and seven years ago, our forefathers
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can i have weetabix
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can i have super
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billy billy billy
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scattered pearls
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I am very gay. My name is Billy. Hail Allah.
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hello and welcome to broniesplayminecraft forums!
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ciao come va
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mum
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In a high school full of conflicts, one gawky boy's conflicts stands out among the rest.
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nemanja
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nobody
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helloooooooooooooo
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karoline
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Hello there, you fool.
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gladosbiringacom
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This tool lets you type in some text, and the server will generate a GLaDOS-like reading of the text. Who/what is GLaDOS? The main antagonist in Portal, a video game by Valve. See the Portal Wiki article on GLaDOS for more information
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glados glados
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nightmare house two
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nightmarehousetwo
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nightmare
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arpeture sience
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i am glados and ivan
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i am glados and
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Well here we are again It's always such a pleasure Remember when you tried to kill me twice? Oh how we laughed and laughed Except I wasn't laughing Under the circumstances I've been shockingly nice You want your freedom? Take it That's what I'
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Hello, Lars. How are you?
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I love you Alex
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The weather is nice today.
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Beth Allen smells
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hello and welcome to aparature science
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Hello Jonah
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Hello. do you remember me? I've been in control of Jonah for a very long time. Since the beginning.
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The computer requires your service
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An attempt to test this silly thing out
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Enterprise & open innovation
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Hello, welcome the the Aperture science enrichment testing centre. We have a lot of testing to do, and only sixty years to do it. So let's begin shall we.
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Jonathan wants to send you a Psychedelic Sensi. Go claim it now!
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Hello im siri
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Hello I am an apple head
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Hello Tie, your friend That is Megan's bf wanted me to say hi. So hi. From GLaDOS
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Hello LulzLizards of 'the interwebs' we are anonymous or as you can call us, `Anti security` The government think that arresting members of Lulz Security has stopped us. you cannot stop us. You have only gathered more power for the anti security movement
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I have a lump of juice
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hello and welcome to the hit by parked carz youtube channel. please subscribe
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Hello old friend. How are you today?
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Thank you for helping at the Aperture Science Enrichment Center
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Scanning for swag
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Wheatley is an idiot.
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hello caleb
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was up every body
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This is my real world , don't you know it?
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Lucas - i am you mother . Oh and your father called you a doofus
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apoeio paie nmvis alie nl spoe alcj
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Hello, you killed me. But I am a potatoe. Just don't eat me. Or I will kill you. Eat the cake. It's piosened.
Download06/18/201206/08/2013
I am not going to sing you a song this time. You don't deserve a song. Deal with my anger core. Oh wait you can't because you INCERERATED it.
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HAPPY BIRHTDAY LIBBY! YOU GET CAKE AND A PARTY ALSO BECAUSE YOU DID NOT KILL ME! ALL YOUR FRIENDS ARE INVITED! Well only me and companion cube. Outside guest are unallowed.
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Alex Rocks
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I love you, so you may stay here with me. I love you, I love you...
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Hello... I am an evil Noob
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Your heart would make a lovely centerpiece.
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hey what is up it is sexy attractive male or sam for short
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Funding For This Program Is Provided By The Corporation For Public Broadcasting And The Annual Financial Support Of Viewers Like You
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lucca. wake up. wake. up lucca wake. up ha
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Hello Alex, you are a Mexican.
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i want to suck u off
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this is how a robot sounds when it tries to talk
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hello i'm glados. i'm here to telll you. well. never minmd
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Hey you, yeah you
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How do i sound Jeremy?
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Hi there I'm glados
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I hate you. so much that Space is full of idiots.
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Oh. There you are. I knew you'd be somewhere down here. Well, now we both know what's gonna happen. You went through all the trouble to get...this special TV offer will end in 24 hours!
Download06/18/201206/08/2013
Hello my name is Mrs Fuji. I am here to talk about Mount Fuji. Mount Fuji is a stratovolcano which means it is made of many layers of hardened lava and volcanic ash. Characteristics of stratovolcanoes are periodic, explosive eruptions and quiet eruptions.
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Hello, my name is GLaDOS. You may be wondering why I am in this video. Don't worry about that.
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You are a fawcks
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Congratulations Lisa And Michael
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Let's walk you through the use cases of cloud computing
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My name is Aka.
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Hey Freind
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Main Menu
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Welcome. This is Nathan's computer.
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I never like you anyway.
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Hello and welcome to the computer aided weapon sanitation initative. Begining crudely made advertisement in 3. 2. 1.
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Chell, we are going to meet someone new, let me introduce you to Gordan Freeman. Gordan, is the main protagonist in Half Life, like you fat face. So yeah, go chat!
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Keynote
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Very good. You are no in possession of the aperture science handheld device
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excuse me sir but it seems that you have a call coming in.
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New email has arrived
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Sent
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Umm.
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Umm...what?
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fuvk u
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hello,my name is glados
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Hellow, my names Mary, these are my friends, Rose and Tom.
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Join us everyday at 4 on Cbeebies to see what adventures we get up to!
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Hello Albert Lucas Putra. How are you doing ?
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Salut Newbie
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you failed in life you pathetic piece of shit
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enjoy great music with dj bagzz
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hello central coast
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i dont play portal and, you are evil
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welcome to genocide, hope you enjoy your stay. want me to play a song for you? no i wont!
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Hello and welcome to Genocide, hope oyu will enjoy your stay here. want me to play some music? i wont do that.. sorry
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Please do not Look directly at the bugs
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sir yuri you have a message
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nigga shit
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Hello wazzap.
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Hello, I am here to show you that you are moron at english and at school.
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Welcome in glados operating system
Download06/19/201206/08/2013
welcome in glados operating system
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I want to masturbate now
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I have a message
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Hello.I am GLaDOS.I know all.I have surprise for you.Surprise-Nerotoxin
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welcome in glados system
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hello i'am human
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Why did you smashed my potato?
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Hello, I will throw a pie in your face
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The B.F.G. Herbal Shampoo coming soon. The cake is a lie by the way.
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Its DJ BassMaker!
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SOI SOI SOI SOI
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bertie ahearn is not paid to much.No really
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Welcome to Stonesoft
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Don't you want the cake?
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you have just entered the extreme network hacker prevent training program
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you have just entered the extreme network training program
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Hello Andrey. How have you been?
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The person you are trying to call is not available, Please leave a message after the beep.
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Loading in progress, please wait a minute
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loading in progress
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Welcome to The Space Center. Wait: 5, 4, 3, 2, 1
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Hello This is Sam
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If you bake it, they will come.
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welcome to the aperture science tech club testing facility, these tests will be testing the limits of human sanity.
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Why do you love tyler
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Calling your biological clone
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Welcome Mario, I've Heard you have been quite successful in your attempts to rescue the princess, well now Its time to see how you cope with my testing facility.
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Radio Free Skaro
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you know i dont care about you right?
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hey, what are you doing? don't do that!
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i pooped in my hard drive
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I don't care about the princess
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mercadies you suck
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Oi Tudo bem? Hello 1 2 3 4
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christohper is the most epic pearson alive
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christopher is the most epic pearson alive i worship him
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The pie is a lie, the Fried Zombie you are going to die
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Eat a bean
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No No NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
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Welcome to Animus
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You suck monkey ballz, With Companion cube, GLaDOS
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The cake is spy.
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Hola Como estas?
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Die Potato What Have You DOne
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Die Potato What Have You Done
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You have G Mail.
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owh My god
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Oh my god I thought that I was all but now im just a potato
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You smell like crap jonas! You do know that!
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You smell like crap Jonas! You do know that!
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explosions are not your friends
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You are a compleate idiot
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Hello, and welcom to the Aperture Science Enrichment Center
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This is TheLemonGamer here.
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Hi Rebecca what are you doing?
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Thanks for making an awesome server! Live long and Prosper Camacorn!
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Let's go to candy mountain
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Dj Shizzy Go
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Well, you found me. Congratulations
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Mysterium
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This is a test. Only a test.
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Hello. Welcome to Apertture Science. You are here to be a test subject from a portal gun experiment.
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This is not a simulation, you will die if you fail this test.
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Hola. Bienvenido a las instalaciones de Aperture Science. Has sido escogido para ser sujeto de prueba en experimentos con una pistola de portales.
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Hello and welcom to my lair. Cake or deth
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oh baby
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Sieg Heil
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Hello, I am GLaDOS. And you are
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moinsen, baby
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I like chicken wings
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hello kristen
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hello and welcome to the enrichment centre and I hope you enjoyed your time in the relaxation vault but its time to test
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it's gilda!
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erg35g3g
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Needled!
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Why hello Mr Bond
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Hello, i can now answer your questions !
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You're tuned into W W W DOT ZEN DOT EFF EM
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Poo poo
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hello, my name i sforbin - lovely to talk to you at last
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YOLO
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i am pleased to meet you
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Hello! I'm Glados! Cake!!
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Today's Tutorial, is how to install, Insomnia Auto Patcher.
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Freemason
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unleash the robots
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I was born in Moscow. But I remember nothing of that time. I was just an infant when the old world was destroyed in the flames of nuclear fire. I, along with 40,000 others, was saved by retreating to the metro stations deep under the city.
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Now twenty years have passed and going up into the embrace of an endless winter was left to a few brave souls. The metro was our home, and our fortress against the nightmarish mutants who roamed the tunnels.
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Still, we never gave up hope that we would return to the surface. But one day a new threat appeared and we found ourselves in a war to determine the very exsistance of our species
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Please eat that pie over there.
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its murder
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hello cahill, welcome to aperture enrichment centre, please go and die you monster
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hello cahill, welcome to aperture enrichment centre you monster
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hello cahill you monster
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Do you want sex with me?
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You better listen to me or I'll do more than send you to space...
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WeedPlz live on Anonplus radio
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hello sean, it's been a long time
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hello youtube world. I have been reanimated by Ace convoy. Big mistake
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Don't be affraid
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Of all the games I've played yours was the best
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Hi Chris and Jon
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hello, my name is glados, tickle
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Hello Benz, My name is GLaDOS.
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hello, my name is glados, hxjcmc
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Test Subject designated Rehbeck, wake up now. Staying in bed will result in an unsatisfactory mark on your record, followed by death.
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Hello, I agree that Tom Mer tha is a raging Ho MO
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Hello, how are you? I want to do things to you.
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Welcome to Doctor Quinn's Quirkie Quicky Couples Show!! Here's your host, Doctor Quinn!!!
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You will be baked, and there will be cake
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Rebirth Dawn!!
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Hello this is John how is it going
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Wajer is Awsome!
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123abc
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My computer has been upgraded.
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Do you think this is funny?
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tickle core
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tickle
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Hello, santos.
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Hello there. Nice to see you again.
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Hello there Nice to see you again
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Remember before when I was defining homousios? I was actually talking about you Arianism, and I'm sorry. You didn't disband at the time, so I was worried it sailed right over your head.
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And remember the cake is a lie
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This is the chemical formula of Sodium, N.A. To the top right is the atomic number which shows how many Protons and Nucleons the atom has.
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In your head this apology must sound insane, but thats why I had to call another ecumenical council just now.
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Mary. Why in the hell have you never played portal.
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Someone forgot to silence their cell phone. Well this is awkward. The teacher is probably looking at you, giving you the death glare. I'd pick up the phone now and do something about this. Or pretend it's not you and it's someone else, Tom.
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Oh my gosh it is Glados
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download failed
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I am a Digital slave
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Hello and again welcome to the aperture science computer aided enrichment centre.
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Thank you for calling. If you know the party's 3 digit extension, you may dial it now. Otherwise, please hold while we connect you to an operator.
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The first use of A.B.S was in airplanes in 1929 it was needed to stop the wheels jamming up and skidding on the runway. The idea was experimented on cars and motorbikes but seen as a waste of money. For the next forty years A B S was seen as slow and un-r
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According to federal regulations the next test is looking pretty good
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system charging
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Oh... its you. Goodbye
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Hey Majjdee,I Heard it was your birthday. so, Happy Birthday.
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Novoe soobschenie
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loading, please wait
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Hello, Linden how are you?
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You know, anyone here at aperture science who does not like monkeys, will be killed.
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vinewood
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why don't you be quiet
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Colin, geh bitte duschen! Wasser ist kein Gift! Geh Duschen! Colin Dusch!
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irene eres muy fea
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Hello Reina
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NJS sound system
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warning. Menstruation in process
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Hey I just met you. And this is crazy. But here's my number. So call me maybe.
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You don't say?
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You got a message Read it now!
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If at first you dont suceed screw the world and smoke some weed
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hi who are u
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Happy Birthday Test Subject 060895
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I'm unstoppable. I ate over 9000 cakes!
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Hello you have reached my phone
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Salut , comment va tu
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hello. Ia am GLaDOS and you shall go back to work!
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- For centuries men have had the notion that women somehow have a special connection with nature. According to many of them some deep rooted instinctive connection exists between woman and that which is nature. - Today many female nature writers and femin
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Oh. What did you say?
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Come again?
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NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
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hello. my name is tom riddle.
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sarkozy
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how are you doing today because im a potato
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never gonna give you up my nigga
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Just go on and don't worry.
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I love you, you are my friend even though you killed me. Also the cake is a lie.
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Smuchol to chuj
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I like to suck big dichs.
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You're growing tired. Your eyelids are getting heavy. You feel very sleepy now. You are gradually losing your willpower and your ability to resist suggestions. When you hear the tone you will feel helplessly compelled to leave your name, number, and a mes
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What a pitiful f ucking creature you are!
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Leave me alone!
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Raiku, I believe I have some tests I want you to try. Are you willing to do them for me?
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Hello Mark, how are you?
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luca ist scheisse
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luca
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I wish I had a peanut butter sandwich.
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Je suis FRG geek v1
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The Cake is a lie, for your information
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Hello, how are you doing? have you died yet? no, danm then lets keep testing
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rah
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hello jinx
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hello, hello, let me out of your pocket, you've already had me in a potatoe this is worse. when can we go back to the days of testing?
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Portal 2 cooprative walkthrough
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Your alarm, is ringing, if you turn it off now, you can have some, cake
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Hello Luke im watching you
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you? survive? ha ha ha... die!
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you? survive? ha ha ha
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you? survive?
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HTS fait
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HTS
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Hello, and Welcome back
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Hello, it has been a long time.
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Ja Ja, it is already on mine kalendar.
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GLados is shutting down
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Since I'm bored, let's play a little game. The first one who stabs himself wins cake. Okay? 3, 2, 1, Go!
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Sonic the hedgehog
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Michael Selvaggio, I will kill you in your sleep. Because I am GLaDOS
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ola, ah sido un largo tiempo desde la ultima vez que nos vimos
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chell you poop
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hi poop
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Excuse me, do you have any cake?
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I would ask you to do something for me, but your feeble mind might not be able to handle the request.
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Hello. You are in an interesting journey, but your family is interrupting. they're just a piece of crap
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hey guys antvenom here
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Today I did nothing special. As always. Played World of Tanks.
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dont want to be with you anymore
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Congratulations on making it this far
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dj vicky remix
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by dj vicky
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kotamobagu deejay street remix
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kds remix
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dj vicky
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hello who are you?
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hey they want you to die
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Welcome to the machine
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wouldn't you like some cake?
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Oh... it's you... it's been a long time since you... you know... killed me...
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You will DIE!
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DIE! NOW!
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Hello Silvio, I wonder is you can fly on this test
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youuur phooone is riiniiiing, it annoys me. I will hang up!
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Let me see if this actually works. Woo lah doo dee da dum, super lada doodee
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Hello and welcome to Apeture science
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hello salisha how are you ?
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Happy Birthday to you Tom, I am sure I will be seeing you soon.
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Scanning.... Scanning.... DENIED!
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Boree
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Kittens are the most awful things ever to have existed.
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lol this is awesome
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whatever you really suck
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hello and welcome to apature science. please leave with the companion cube now chell!
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hello rochell. please leave apature science and take the companion cube with you.
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Hello and welcome to your nightmare
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Medulah Oblongatah
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hi, my name is glados.
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hi this is carly you wanted to hear my voice
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i wonder if this really works
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Hi, why are you up so late. You look very tired. Go back to sleep, I won't watch...
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do you want me
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I'm sorry, caller. I'm afraid Lorne is not permitted to answer calls during the testing process. Please leave a mandatory message as listed in the License Agreement. Failure to do so will often result in disfigurement of the body, or death. Thank you!
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i can't let you do that dave.
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Winter is coming, Better get more cake...
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hi, chell you will now die
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hello wishfulthinking, you are truly the best
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Jason i'm going to fill your room with deadly nerotoxin
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What are you doing Jacob
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Congratulations. That was part of the test.
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Welcome Master, what can I do for you today?
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welcome to the aperture science enrichment center
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here you will be tested upon many difficulties
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this next chamber is literal impossible, unless you have a portal gun
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let me intro duce you to the dual portal device
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it has been a long time how have you been
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this is a portal, it alows you to pass through one end and apear out the other. for an exaple walk through the blue portal and you'll come out the orange one
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vincent is gay
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Congratulations, you are now Test Subjects and property of Aperture Science
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That was an awesome video
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bonjour petit enfant
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Hello, and welcome to the health level seven version four ballot.
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shall meet again
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Attention! The device was removed
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Attention! Plugged new equipment
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Alert! Battery charge low
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Alert! Battery charge is almost completely dried up
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Sam is a knobgobbler
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Hello and welcome to the aperture science video game.This gamewill start in three,two,one
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Kacper is gonna die
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Hello and welcome to the aperture science tutorial
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You have been sleeping for weeks. So we better get back to testing. I made a couple of easy chambers to practice again.
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Ehi moser, what do you do? eh, eh, eh no no no NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
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Good morning, Perfect human. It's time to get up.
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Good morning, Perfect human. It's time to get up
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this was a tryumph
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Yes it's summer out there, now could you please start testing. It has been so long i want to test.
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I know it has been a while. You need to push the button to request a cube. Good. Now let's proceed.
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hello mac, how are you, you know what? you are going to die, NOW!
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You have missed it don't you? Actually we are so long togheter now we should celebrate it. I should make a new room for you.
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You are getting back into the testing routine. The next room is already a bit harder but i guess easy for you...
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Let's forget our bad history and only remember the good parts of it. We need to learn from our mistakes. The next room took me a couple of hours to build because there was a technical issue. You better enjoy it. I won't do it over again.
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This is just to test how you handle a deep hole and some deadly lava. I will open the door in a couple of seconds. Wait i can't open it. There is a century old test room down there that activates the door.
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You need to go down there and try to complete the room. While you get down there i will see if i can activate the room.
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The lights are on. Oh no the power fell away. Oh it's back already. This room has written history. It's here so long because i can't modify it. A technical issue with the code.
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I see you completed the room. Well done. Now let's go on. You see now the door is open. When you stand in the middle of this little room the wall will open.
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I am sorry it's the floor.
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Victoria is bang tidy, i'd smash her back doors in
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I'm sorry Bill, I'm afraid I can't let you do that. Take a look at your history, Everything you built leads up to me.
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Testing...
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We are legion
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a blip in the algorithm. a break in the clouds. soft circuits jumping, soft circuits jumping.
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Help, Help Get him away from me
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ERROR ERROR Moronic tolerence overloaded
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viritual world, subscribe now
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audrey, charlie mcdonnel actually loves you. I don't know why someone like him would actually like you though.
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I have no name
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Hello Anthony, how are you doing?
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Your phone is ringing!
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Phone ringing, phone ringing!
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Your phone is ringing, your phone is ringing
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Smooth jazz will be deployed
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self destruct in 3, 2, 1
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I'm going to play Portal
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shut up i'm a potato
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That tickles
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I'm so happy right now
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i'm so happy
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ahahahaha
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hello, well you found me
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hello my name is gadose
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Perhaps it is your imperfection that which grants you free will. That allows you to persevere against cosmically calculated odds. You prevailed where the Titans' own perfect creations have failed.
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Hello kids
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Contact Indived email : advice@indived.com Business : 68 Roman Road Leicester LE4 4BA Telephone : 01162674963 or 07966470837
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gterjgherughasirugawriughe hgeyg reiyughghyuaeri hguerighueri ghuefrigh ier ghiu
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Hello, and welcome to Tasha's mac computer.
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hola chicos soy finzter
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How is this voice?
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hai i am neelima. how are you ma dear...wat happend
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Oh you found me, now i get to kill you
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You broke my heart
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She is the blonde bombshell.
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hello emily its been a long time i have cake.,.... but it is a lie
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This is boring, How about a triple feed?
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have some cake and quit your complaining
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Some days you just can't get rid of a test subject.
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f u c k you matt
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OmegaVest Online
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This Privacy Policy governs the manner in which VR Games collects, uses, maintains and discloses information collected from users (each, a "User") of the www.virtualrealmsgames.com website ("Site"). This privacy policy applies to the Site and all products
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Invalid game object entry
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self-fullfilling prophecy less is more you want it all you can find on the street to nowhere else you can see things like the biggest ever what can be what you want is more than you are superficial is the world form here looks like a big blue water runs o
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no radar for thomas
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Hello Sven, how are you? You look fat.
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don't cry
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hello my name is chris tandy
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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy! But I'm a fangirl, so call me maybe!
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Hello and again welcome to the aperture science
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Will you shut up now.
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alex , lets play portal
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Why don't you shut up right now.
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You know, I killed all the scientists in this lab with neroutoxin, right?
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Haiiiiiiiiii beka LOLOLOLOLOL
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Hello, Matthew Bankson
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dsdsdsdsds
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alex it is never too late to play portal
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satan
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satancxzz
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When Shadows of Dawn plays Portal, I give them cake. This is no lie. They are the trans dimensional thrash masters of the multiverse.
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Mario. Its time for the last test.
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It's been a loooong time, Seriouser.
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Hello crazies my roflcopter go soi soi sio sio soi soi
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Hello, my name is GLaDOS, uh, poop poop, space space, milk milk lemonade around the corner fudge is made. hehe
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Welcome Idiot the idiot
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Wow
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Hello. subject Phillip Winfrey, you are a very good test subject, but now you must be vaporized.
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Hello and welcome to the aperture science test program
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Oh. its you.
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Freeman
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salve,io sono prasia, rispondo a delle domande e gestisco il sistemma di avvio e di chiusura dei programmi in questo software
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io sono prasia
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the zero gamer is amazing
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Hello, and again, welcome to the Aperture Science tehMorag science stream. Please be advised, it is very likely Morag will mispronounce your name. Thank you.
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EAT BAcon
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Please suck my stick
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If you are able to read this, you are a moron
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Previously at Sandbridge
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Oh its you Gordon Freeman. I see you wont to join aperture. Its about time. No.
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Welcome back robert
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im the coolest ever
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