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MessageDownloadDate addedDate processed
Parachute popcorn. Last player with a white t-shirt is the winner
Download06/14/201206/07/2013
Last player with a white t-shirt is the winner
Download06/14/201206/07/2013
Oh, really Justice. You can do better than that.
Download06/14/201206/07/2013
hello and welcome to the aperture laboratories testing facilities
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Hijacking the radio in 3... 2... 1...
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i am not gay, you are
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i have some cake
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Sup.
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Hello twlilight sparkle you are heer because friendship is stupid and for pussies leave now
Download06/14/201206/07/2013
Hello tania
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This is a test of the voice generator
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Hello, dano.
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Hello, Blaster Blade. I took you from Planet Cray because Aichi does not want you. Nobody wants you. So we'll just be here testin your abilities, forever and ever. Till the end of time.
Download06/14/201206/07/2013
Bridget, it's time for you to go to bed.
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Well, that was awkward.
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This audio is a test.
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Welcome to Lumen Games. My name is GlaDos and I will be assissting you today.
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Lumen
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Thanks for testing Lumen Games. Please click the subscribe button at the top of the screen
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Click the annotation in the center of the video to watch the previous one.
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estamos testando
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Hola este es una prueba para ver el funcionamiento de glados
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haha my name is GlaDos this is just a text
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You have failed.
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Is it my imagination, or is some kind of jealousy thing going on here?
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Happy Birthday Caleb.... I am robo cake 3.0
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Happy Birthday Caleb
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I.....I never asked for this..
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Hello I'm a robot
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hello how are you today I am well
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Back to testing.
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I want to drink your morning dew
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fudge you
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i want you to lick me a lot all over
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I'm sorry Dave
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Hello, and welcome to chamber number twenty two. I believe you should be dead in the next couple of seconds.
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This is an emergency broadcast transmission. This is not a test. I repeat. This is not a test. The following areas are being evacuated. Los Angeles. New York. San Francisco. Miami. Chicago. Seattle. Dallas.
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hello and welcome to the H J U hangout
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Welcome to the Aperture Science Testing Initiative. I would like to inform you that Ethan is an asshole. Ignore all remarks he throws out to you.
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Hello JimmyD1
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Welcome to the Colorado Springs Teen Modeling Agency. We are unable to answer your call at this time. Please leave your name, phone number, and a brief message as to why you called. We look forward to speaking with you. Have a fantastic day!
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I have been waiting for you Joshua
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Hello I have been waiting for you Joshua Smith
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Hello, baby.
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Hello Friend. Please Die.
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Just another sunny day
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Hey there, how have you been?
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Go Bronies
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i like trans... deth plis
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me mataste me convertiste en patata i me as dado de comer a los pajaros
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This is a triumph. I'm going to point success. and cast a riot. aperture, Science. when do you deve acer pede.
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hello, welcome home
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You received a message.
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Are you a telemarketer/Because if you are, I will not let you? Do you love your job? Sitting down at a desk? Well I don't. In fact I hate it. Goodbye
Download06/15/201206/07/2013
No, no, no, no, no, this sucker's electrical, but I need a nuclear reaction to generate the 1.21 gigawatts of electricity I need.
Download06/15/201206/07/2013
You received a Message. Please check it before I remove it.
Download06/15/201206/07/2013
Incoming call. Please answer or I will tell to the caller how monstrous you are.
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Ciao stronzi,volete giocare al mio gioco?
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Hello, you have got a message.
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Geocaching Publish Mail received
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Received a Geocaching Publish Mail
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What you gone?
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Salut ! Tu veux etre mon ami ?
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You are a moron, a moron they build to make me an idiot.
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I want to bake a pie.
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oh, you're back... I can hardly contain my excitement
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You have reached the Voice Mail
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Hello. You have reached the voicemail box of Ahmed Jassat who is currently unavailable. Please leave a short message and he shall get back to you as soon as he possibly can.
Download06/15/201206/07/2013
Hello. Marlon is not here right now. Please leave a message and he'll get back to you, maybe.
Download06/15/201206/07/2013
hhheeeeellloooo
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Hello moron. did you have a good time in the incerator? i didn't because i wasent there!
Download06/15/201206/07/2013
I despise generic beings without a tint of mind.
Download06/15/201206/07/2013
You just have lost
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I wood like to by sum tickets
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hola comando
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hey dude wanna come over later?
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I need your bike.
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God mrning. How are you? Can i help you? Go to slep. Akcept. Immedeatly. Yes. No. Critical error
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fish
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GSE NATION
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Hi there Heinzinch
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Dru. Listen here you slucking melon farmer
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hi cheer
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Ok, It looks like there is something very wrong with the pump. You ought to check it out very soon
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connor you suck balls
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Hello butch
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bethany is a scumbag
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Hello. And welcome to Aperture Science.
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I don't know what is your name but i kill you anyway. And glad to see you. bye bye!
Download06/15/201206/07/2013
hello mario. Can I interest you in some delicious cake?
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Priority 1 Message arrived
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Priority Message arrived
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Mission succesfull
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GLaDOS Genetic Lifeform and Disk Operating System
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dj ccter in tha house blad
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Deine Mutter rollt ja die rollt wie ein Klops entlang!
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Deine Mutter rollt ja die rollt wie ein Klops entlang
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Deine Mudda rollt!
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does he look like a snitch?
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The number you have dialed is no longer in service
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I know you're here. I can feel you.
Download06/15/201206/07/2013
oh hell there, wait hat? what on earth is that?
Download06/15/201206/07/2013
oh hell there, wait what? what on earth is that?
Download06/15/201206/07/2013
Where Once There Was Only Main Stream Media.
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Who are you talking to?
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Hello, My name is glados i come from portal! i like to eat pie and i like to listen to my self singing in the shower!
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hello my friend, how are you?
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Hello Theodorus! Would you play with me ?
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urukhay
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narwhals are awesome!
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This was brought to you by Code A Productions. Click here to see more.
Download06/15/201206/07/2013
test je te test
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HELLO THERE, ED CAN'T PICK UP THE PHONE RIGHT NOW BEACUSE HES EATHER SLEEPING TILL 12 OR GOD KNOWS WHAT HES DOING RIGHT NOW. LEAVE A MESSAGE AND BE PATIENT HE'LL CALL YOU BACK. BEEP
Download06/15/201206/07/2013
I just tested you. nobody murderd you, or puted you in a patato
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test chamber 1
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test chamber one
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Welcome back....assuming you can get in.
Download06/15/201206/07/2013
Hate
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if I were a core
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Thank you for calling spotlight. Your call is important to us.
Download06/15/201206/07/2013
Hello spoderman
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Ff uck you six and your horse.
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hello, i am siri
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Hello, I see you are trying to reach Rebecca. Please don't try again.
Download06/15/201206/07/2013
they will survive by our
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Some people just need a high five. In the face. With a chair.
Download06/15/201206/07/2013
Rick James was the original super freak.
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I'm sorry Twilight. I'm afraid I can't let you do that.
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YOU ARE A MORON!
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hello, we have a lot to do to day and less than 24 hours to do it so lets get started
Download06/15/201206/07/2013
I'm going to kill you, Chell
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Hello Dave, I'm gonna have fun with you
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Chell, i'm going to kill you
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hello bailey i am glados i think your very stupid species should die
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i feel your species is irrelevant and stupid
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hello bailey your a stupid human
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your phone tis be ringing
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Serendipity
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Oh,why hello there it's been a really long time scince are last encounter "Bryce"
Download06/15/201206/07/2013
The Aperture Science Enrichment Center regrets to inform you that these next few tests may end up killing you and we take no responsibility for it. Sorry.
Download06/15/201206/07/2013
VortexPLays
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VortexPlays
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Vortex Plays
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Gaming
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mr. johson! I don't won't this!
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Hello, and again, welcome to the aperture science enrichment center
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comedy = tragedy + time
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marble cake also the game
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haaaaaa
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ha. ha. ha.
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it's like you're just machines
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Terrenos Celestiales Distinto por naturaleza
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Halo suck Bill Gates's ass
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Are you serious? you really want to die?
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Hello test subject Joshua, we have been waiting for a long... long... time.
Download06/15/201206/07/2013
hello Andrew, welcome to facebook. i see you saw the notification and clicked on the link that brought you to this file, well done. now, lets play a game.
Download06/15/201206/07/2013
hello and welcome again to aperture science enrichment center i am here to remind you that you are loved and that you will in fact get hugs and kisses later so be happy that you are not locked in a testing chamber
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We are harbinger
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Hello, subject #7089249, and welcome to the Atlas Science Research and Development Testing Courses.
Download06/15/201206/07/2013
Hello emily welcome to the aperture science enrichment center i hope you will feel better snd get over flavio soon until then i am always here for you
Download06/15/201206/07/2013
Well hello there. You are going to die.
Download06/15/201206/07/2013
We hope that your stay in the extended relaxation center has been a pleasant one.
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You may retrieve any belongings that you brought with you at this time.
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Please do not disturb any test subjects that are waiting to be tested.
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Welcome to chamber 00, where we will test the effects of Batch 251 on the human body.
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The first batch of combustible lemon prototypes have been manufactured. They will be tested shortly.
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So there dear younglings. My name is Dylan, and it is of sure fineness to meet you.
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Wait
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hi there kyren
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Hello, test subjects, GLaDOS is here To take away everything that you hold dear Wright, think you're a match for me like we're boxin'? Guess what? You are no match for all of my neurotoxin What, Phoenix, can't think of anything more to say?
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hello! I am siri, your personal assisstant
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My name is Fi. Thank you Master. My calculations predict a 48% chance Zelda will be in this temple.
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your gay, and like men, homo
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Hello. its been a long time.
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Charm is treating women like little girls
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Okay, so I have a really Dig Bick, and it has become quite a problem....I mean what would you do for a clikeclond bar If Bill Cosby, Bill Bilsby, and Sabrinabill Coslebeaufby all touched one on the Bill Cosby Showsby??
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Alright, let's start off with a basic test.
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I wouldn't expect a human to understand, but go check on the reactor coils
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Its murder, was it worth it, it is your fault, you chose this path
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I wouldn't expect a human to understand, but parks are truely vile places, full of trees and bugs.
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i watch sponge bob
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the building is falling apart let me take care off that idot!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Hello My name is James
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I don't know if i am a boy
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Hello! i decided that i could be more cheery, and have installed a Positivism node. your death is going to be lot more fun. for me. not for you. you'll be dead.
Download06/15/201206/07/2013
kyle likes boys
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Good job, subject name here.
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Stop it. I've told you not to do that.
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privet, s vami elya kravchuuk
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Hello Anne. Lets do a test.
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Hello, and welcome to Real life
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this is the part were he kills us
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Cheat Activated
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i like trains and pizza
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GAY FACE
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spaaaaaaaaaace wanna go to spaaaaaaaaaace
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hey brah
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Sojka je gay
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that is not possible
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Siege mode activated
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Welcome Mr. Jean Claudius. I am starting the CPU for your. please wait a few minutes
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Hello, its been a long time
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Hello. You got a message. You monster.
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Mister Johnson? You need to shut up.
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hai...... kathirr you have a call
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hello and welcome to the apreture science computer aided enrichment centre
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You have messege
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Welcome to voyages in space and trance
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I just want to try out
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Suraj Vishwakarma. Your phone is ringing.
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Hi sveta!
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Hello all you have been subject to a
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Hans, if you stop there will be cake.
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This is a test of the Glodos voice generator.
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We will not monitor the next test for you. You are on your own.
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Arun you smell funny
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I won't single any one of you out. I will just say that some of you have betrayed the trust of your employers...and because of that you must die. The rest of you are... satisfactory.
Download06/16/201206/07/2013
Hello, and welcome to the First MineCraft Hunger games with Fallenman2
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Welcome to the Satyrsphere
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Hello my name is jay
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Lincoln Gaming Society welcomes you to the next level begin testing
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You have GOT to be kidding me.
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Hello Yama. I'm GLaDOS. Your friend.
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Well done, test subject, you've managed to solve the first test...
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Lol , Your testes have been exterminated
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asdasdad
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Hello, this is Stephanie's answering machine.
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Hello. I am Manny's wife from now on. feck you all!
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Oh, it's you. Kevin is away right now. Leave him a message after the tone. If he lives, he will call you back.
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Tyler shall burn!
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A betti cicaja a luca a david cicaja a loki
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Hello, subject #40857291, and thank you for participating in this Enrichment Center activity.
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Hello and again, welcome to the Aperture Science computer-aided enrichment center.
Download06/16/201206/07/2013
Hi dawn bates, is it okay if Grace mcfarlane can play out until seven thirty?
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trololoo looo looo looo
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my ass stinks
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i need this voice genartor to try it out
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Hi! What is your name?
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I'm a POTATO
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Happy birthday... father
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You are going to be dead.. Woops, didn't mean to say that.
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Hello. You have reached Nick Vetree. Please leave a message.
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Subscribe to Peaches32123 now, or you will not get your cake.
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what the are you doing
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what the are hell you doing
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Got a dream of owning your own successful business ? Here at Amplify Productions we encourage you to dream big! Whether you're a big company or small company or even a music artist, we help build establishments for any budget big or small. With our te
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Kritischer Fehler
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ich habe ein fehler gefunden
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Grab my Bonk
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please allow a few moments for the chat room software to load, thank you.
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Hello ezreal
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you not happy?
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sarah cheese pie haha
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Hello, I'm GLaDOS, and I am on Dano oct 1 dot com
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Hello, android.
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Hello, android. Don't deny your own android nature, android.
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Bienvenue Chell
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Do you know what a biofuel is
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Fantastic. You remain resolute and resourceful in an atmosphere of extreme pessimism.
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You are an android. And you know it. It's a fact.
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Don't get mad, android.
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hoi ik ben luc
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hoi ik ben een nederlander
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What is for dinner?
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A bitter, unlikable loner, whose passing shall not be mourned. Shall not be mourned.
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hannah
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She left you. I'm here. Which is it going to be?
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She left you. I didn't. Which is it going to be?
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Welcome to the Aperture Science Central Enrichment Center.
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WHAT! N-A-S-A has found wheatly? Wheatly is programed with so much info he could give away the location of apeture
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Hello ! I am GLaDOS ! And I'm here to ask you a question.
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Welcome to the Aperture Science advanced enrichment center, I am sorry to report that Minidobs is currently unavailable. Please try again later.
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Tzu-Han Sucks
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Tzu-Han sucks
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FUCING MUSHROOM PEOPLE
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Let's try that again.
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this age... i've forgotten
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Hello and welcome to the British 8-Bit
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dj aaron
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We will most likely die because you have forgotten to flush the toilet in your cell. Please return to your Aperture science bed and die.
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Let's go Yankees! The Red Socks? More like Red Sucks!
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woopwoopwoopwoopwoopwoopwoopwoopwoopwooop
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...so...this is akward...umm..how about i get you guys a few mice to eat and be on your way? no..ok
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eat poo and die
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Scout you will be sent to georgie for a test and this time this will include sex!
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We will not forget what batman did to our city. Long live harvey dent.
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dallas likes men
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Adrian Muhajarine. The best in the world.
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William Henry "Hank" Green II (born May 5, 1980, in Birmingham, Alabama[1]) is a professional entertainer and entrepreneur. He is best known for his online video blogs with his brother, John Green. As of February 2012, their channel, Vlogbrothers, has mor
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free your endorphins
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Hey there gerardo
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Hello, everybody.
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what is it you seek?
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So, PowerPuff Girls. Do you remeber me? Livie. Yeah. 'Course you don't. You little brats stole my popularity. I hate your guts, girls.
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Oh. It's you. PowerPuff Girls. Remeber me? Livie? Yeah, you don't even care. Don't you?
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Welcome to the Aperture Sciences phone center. Please answer now. Or I will have to kill you.
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Wow, does this thing really work?
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Hello there. Welcome to the aperture Science
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im a big loopy bumb
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im a loopy bumb
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im a bum
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Hi Chell.
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Hello, How are you doing today?
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Answer your phone you useless human
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Hello, Troubleshooter
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hey mate
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nbnmnmm
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awesome.awesome to the mac
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This was a triumph. I'm making a note here: HUGE SUCCESS. It's hard to overstate my satisfaction.
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Hello, Evan, would you like to join the Aperture Science Enrichment Center? It would be fun having you test the new portal gun that just came out.
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This was a triumph. I'm making a note here
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The toxic sludge below will kill you. Like you killed me. Murder.
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Hello, my latest test subject. I'm pleased to inform you on the success of your last test. Come again.
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i need to take a big crap right now the size of wilsons ego
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hello, and welcome to the aperture laboratories
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Nobody Move. It appears i have dropped my brain.
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O.o
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GAYYYY
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Hi People :3
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Follow My Tumblr! sutekidevil.tumblr.com and my dA omgh2o.deviantart.com
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I'm so tired
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Hello, I am GLaDOS. I was never a human
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System Avtive. Now starting main secquence.
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see? thats how dumb you sound!
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Hello, Test Subject, CHRISTOPHER, FITE,
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Tittie dancer DU DU TU DU
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Christian is awesome.
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Christian is awesome
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Hey, Mesa I Think i know you from somewhere.
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Black Mesa. I Hate this place.
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you dont understand
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hello my dear friend
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Hello DanteGmod
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yes?
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I'm Gigi the trottola
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You Have Received 1 New Message!
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DJ Precinct in the mix
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hello Greg next poker game on?
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DEE JAY PRECINCT IN THE MIX
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Hi, are you still alive? Little ghost...I'm going to catch you...soon...
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i am keanu toomer and i kill you
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I am keanu toomer and i kill you!
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Denied!
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Nyna Nyn Nyn nya nya nya nyn Nyow nya nwow mwow mwwo mwwo mmw mo mam mama
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I am glados and i am in a body
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Iam GLaDOS and I am in a big metal body hahhahha but you yes but you you are a moster you moster you can die i can't so goodbye hahha!!!
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Oh. It's you. I like turtles.
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awak ni kan
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Where the hell is my toothbrush!?
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Derek and norm walk over to the iPod touch table.
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The Tetris effect occurs when people devote sufficient time and attention to an activity that it begins to overshadow their thoughts, mental images, and dreams
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bienvenue dans portal
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greetings earthling what the dilly dillyoh
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Im Batman!
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We can put our differences aside. For science. You monster.
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Hey. That was a nice quad feed. but can you do it again. take this.
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sorry delta golf zero charly alfa whiskey is not available
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Sorry, but delta golf zero charly alfa whiskey is not available
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Hi my name is glados and i/m from portal
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Get out of my yard
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I was born this way!
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Play FM BRasov
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tienes un mensaje, si no eres una maquina y eres un humano, contesta el telefeno
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hai............kathirr call for you
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Chicken is good
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I swear I will kill you.
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Hello ,mario and goodbye
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The two of you have formed an excellent partnership.
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ladder
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hi.this is neel
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Hallo Pascal ein Anruf kommt!
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i used to be an adventurer like you.then i took an arrow in the knee
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tzzuioii
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My nagovorili drug druge mnogoe, o chem ty esche pozaleesh...
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Hamish Dewar, your time is up. Time for you to die. Say bub-bye now.
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I will murder your
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hello LightningFire the testing will start in three second's
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hello LightningFire the testing will start in three second's grab the portal gun
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SHUT UP! MORON! I HATE YOU SO MUCH
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hello Jack and welcome to the enritchment center.
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list off
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Unfortunately, we cannot ensure that these hats do not melt faces and or hair. Enjoy your free hat.
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In a world where sausages grow on trees
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hello and welcome to the vigicraft server testing service
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Greetings Joshua, always a pleasure
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Hello im Glados and HOTSHOTGG
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hello you poor excuse for a puppy
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Oh there you are, let's get start
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I think we can put our differences aside us.
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when i was a little filly and the sun was going down
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existiran realmente los extraterrestres
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Cake and brief counseling will be available at the conclusion of the test. Thank you for helping us help you help us all.
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hello William you love donkeys
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Error!
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I Will Fix This By Extermanating YOU
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I Hope you brought something stronger then a portal gun this time!
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Oh Thank God.
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computer operational, welcome mike thompson
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Your game client has finished updating.
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kero maricon
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Aperture Science is a piece of crap!
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If you don't acess OnlyNerdGames now,there won't be cake for you.
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What is Wrong with you?
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nothing can escape the force of a black hole
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you have a new message...
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Hi Hi jajaja
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Welcome back, Josh
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Joey!
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Your cake is ready
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Yo gurl, what is up with thee
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Hello. How are you ?
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Hello, Siri
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Skullfunk E P launch this Thursday at the Pit and Pendulum
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Amanda is a wierd O
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"Hello and, again, welcome to the Aperture Science computer-aided enrichment center." "We hope your brief detention in the relaxation vault has been a pleasant one." "Your specimen has been processed and we are now ready to begin the test proper." "Befor
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welcome, master
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Congratulations, you have finally annoyed me.
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I am GlaDoS
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Welcome to the aperture science computer aded enrichment center.
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Hello, And, Again, Welcome to the aperture Science Cake Celebrity.
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hell im zach
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hello im zach
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Next time Gadget, next time!
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Miss and Mister
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I lkr trains, and Trains like me
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Take the second left
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Bonk!
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Poopy
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Ok what it's your name ?
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Rosewood Eagles
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They call us Defaults. They say we are the weakest of the weak... Fit only for the inexperienced animators that they themeselves scorn and mock. Well, I say we are weak. They have made us weak. But we are strong in numbers. Our Numbers are our strengt
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Hey aren't you an, adventurer? Go take this arrow, in your Knee.
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Welcome to Skream-NET. Enjoy Hacking.
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What? WHAT!? What do you mean it won't work?
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Hello. I am not going to kill you. But I will hurt you until you beg me to do so. Thank you
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Florida State University Marching Chiefs
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Proceed into the magnetic accelerator and push the button to begin the test.
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Honey, you should see me in a crown
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Master of puppets, I'm pulling your strings.
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Whaddup ma nigga, wuz hannin uppin dis boitch
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Hello Griffon
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Hello Griffin
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some thing never been changed.
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this is an emergency
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It seems I need to remind you of something, that's odd
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Oh, hello, Junior is a homo.
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how was your day
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hi jason,did you have a fun weakend
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Who's ready to run some tests?
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did you think of getting steam and lanning half life 2 wars with your friends this vacation?
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hello boys!
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yesterday i saw a dear
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Now, Time To Die.
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oger iorjwoier oweiirjen
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Aperture Science thanks you for taking time to view this powerpoint
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I hate you. You monster
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Welcome, quite a fall wasn't it, my lest test subject didn't complain and she got knocked out on impact. anyway welcome to aperture science laboratories.
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moving on you can clearly see a glowing ring of energy with a hole in it? good walk through that then find a door and work your way into the next chamber... what? oh you want to know what it was, it was a portal, no you can't go back get on with it.
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we have soooo much testing to do >:)
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I am going to poop on your face
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Hello, I'm the Doctor. Basically... run!
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Good morning. I see the neurotoxin didn't make it to this room.
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Hello, And welcome to Cube Snyc made by Traffic 187
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my name is mary
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Hello, my name is mary
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These are my friends, Rose and Tom
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Hello. Its been a long tim
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Join us everyday at 4 only on Cbeebies!
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hello and welcome to the testing chambers
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Sometimes all I want to be is King
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Good Morning Sleepy Head
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This is the final thingie.. uhuhu
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hello justin you are sexy
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Extreme Variety!
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sdcsd
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Hello, this is sly. Leave a message.
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Thank you for calling little ones two. Please leave your name and number and we will get back to you shortly. Or send a text. Thank you
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I was expecting someone with a little less...generosity.
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hello how are you, hope you well
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hello juho ja tervetulao aperture ciens keskukseen hei
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oh shucks, I guess I'm just better than you?
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Aparri Beats Club
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Shut up. Shut the funk up.
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The voice they used is a little scary. It sounds like robots are soon going to take over the planet.
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The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog.
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Thank you for helping us you help us all
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Hi ryleigh I hate you
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Hi ryleigh I hate u
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Hello. My name is Sana.
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hoppacska, hoppacska mondtam en hogy verociraptor
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and then you killed me. thanks for that.
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The Pop corn is far from done
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Look,metal ball i Can here you
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THIS IS SPARTA
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oh, its you. how have you ben. Iv ben buisy being dead, you know after you murderd me!
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You are listening to Too Good for Radio...Radio.
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please enter clearence code
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Please enter security code
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