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MessageDownloadDate addedDate processed
Willkommen Marc. Es kann losgehen.
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Give me one more for the road.
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Hello Li
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Hello subject name here i would like to play a game
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Hello my name is Stephen
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All the time
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dj speedy presents the essential elements podcast
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Lola No one cares what you think after all what would some loser who plays club penguin contribute to society oh right you don't now please just shut up your embarrassing yourself you fat stupid loser
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Prince Harry Selling Hello hope you enjoy the Jubilee party at cadets today
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Welcome on your personal computer
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I'm sorry but no one cares lola
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BRUSH
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Hard with Style is here, to wake you up!
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Hello again my friend
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Enlarge
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small
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Hello. Welcome to the math lab. This will test your skills and see what you need improvement on.
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Now listen as I explain the progress.
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test this test
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Oh hi! I'm a POTATO! Wheatley are moron, he's in space, you want go there? ok. But. First i must kill you. Chell. :)
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Oh hi! I'm a POTATO! Wheatley are moron, he's in space, you want go there? ok. But. First i must kill you. Chell.
Download06/03/201206/06/2013
Hi Graeme
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welcome to keygen gaming
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Hello, you have reached the voice mail of Iman Azad, please leave a message and I will return your call as soon as I can.
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Hello and welcome to aperture center
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I'm GLaDOS and I smell
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Hello, Here a Glados im a executive president of time regulation and interim general manager about the Aperature Science.. What are you doin! I KILL YOU !
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Hello Layla
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Chocolate
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Someone is attempting to call you, if you do not answer within the next 10 companion cube dies.
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Someone is attempting to call you, if you do not answer within the next 10 seconds companion cube dies.
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Wake up or no cake
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The world's best DJ, the world's best music. Radio Liberty
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Alex My COD
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Calling calling calling calling calling
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You are on hold
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File has been sent
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Oh Baket?
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flow masters are in the house
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you're needed
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For most people the day begins like this. Getting up, getting dressed, grabbing a coffee and going to work. Driving through the big city, seeing the same old streets and same old faces and the only thing that changes are their problems. Problems, which te
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chell you need to take s bath!
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corbin i love fricking cake
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Thank You for Helping us Help you Help us all.
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Nancy Pelosi becomes the first Speaker of the House with a rack.
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incomming notification
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I dreamed
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Pedro come help me!
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haj
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Hey, I just met you, and this sounds craaaaazy, but here's my number... so call me maybe.
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madison its sam
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hello jack dignam you sexy beast
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Ha ha ha,you're funny!
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remember robot hell is indeed a real place and if you fail you will be sent there
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A new text message for Nikkilas Gibson as arrived.
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Happy hunger games and may the odds be ever in your favor
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Begin Testing
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There is a manual event in the queue
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The Aperture Science
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Hahaha I lied there is no cake and you are going to die
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hello and welcome to apeture science enrichment center
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hello, jewell. how are you? how wouold you like to be my next test subject?
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hello, jewell. how are you? how would you like to be my next test subject?
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the chocolate fandango of life is screwing your wife
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oh hi there beyond muffins
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Wow. You're this close to finishing; and you do THAT?
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This was a triumph, I'll make a note here..huge success
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suca
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O.O MYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY EYE8 terzi c8me 8nd s8e this Terzi: h4h4h4h4h4hh4 somev8dy s3nd th1s to my youtube3 f4vor1t3s Vriska: s8 perver8ed
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I wish I could stick my mechanical weiner your warm hole
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Hello Jochen, how are you doing?
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it tasted like cerry pie
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his c0ck tasted like cherry pie
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Hello. You have reached the Laugh fay ette street closure complaint line. I'm Greg Triplet. This free service has been set up to ignore all of your thoughts and complaints about laugh fay ette street being closed.
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Hello. You have a small wiener.
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Hello Abby and hello Gwen. How are you doing today?
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This was a triumph, I'll make a note here..huge success. It's hard to understand your situation. Immature Girlfriend. She does what she wants, because, she can. For the good of just herself, except for when she is dead. Now there's no use crying over ever
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Testing. Testing. 1. 2. 3.
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JUNKY PEACHES
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Hello, and again welcome to the Aperture Science Computer Aided Enrichment Center.
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ive decided to kill you.....but im not sure
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Just remember, her breaking up with you.. This was a triumph, I'll make a note here..huge success. It's hard to understand your situation. Immature Girlfriend. She does what she wants, because, she can. For the good of just herself, except for when she is
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Titan (or Saturn VI) is the largest moon of Saturn. It is the only natural satellite known to have a dense atmosphere, and the only object other than Earth for which clear evidence of stable bodies of surface liquid has been found.
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deejay mhon henrix on the mix
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Poopy face!
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portal is coool
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Hey, Moron, You have a message
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hi my name is jill
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Cameron, you can be the new Glados in Portal 3. You're so sexy
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Please notice the incondescent particle field across the exit. This Aperture Science Emancipation Grid will vaporize any authorized items that go through it, such as the Aperture Science Weighted Storage Cube.
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Warning, Main Power offline, Testing Suspended.
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I feel like i am not a good character
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Many years ago
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You blocked me on Facebook, and now SCMF is going to get phucked off.
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John was about six teen when i first met him
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Thank you for calling Jilania Travel.
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your crazy
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Holler Holler Get Doller
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Giuliana i love you my little girl
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Estas recibiendo un mensaje de texto.
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The cake isn't a lie. It was just my intent on giving it to you.
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Welcome to E Uni Life
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Hello, and welcome to Wheatley Science. Do you want some fries?
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one, one, six
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my roflcopter goes soi soi
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hello. thank you for watching our video. Would you like to see some bloopers? Alright
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Im in love
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Oh, its you. How have you been? I've been REALLY busy being dead, you know, after you MURDERED ME
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Fox, why don't you come over here, into my love nest?
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I am GLaDOS , I love cake
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Hate? Let me tell you how much I've come to hate you since I began to live. There are 387.44 million miles of wafer-thin printed circuits that fill my complex. If the word HATE
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This beat makes me wanna move my feet
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Hi there you have an SMS
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Oh, how unfortunate.
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thee
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Hello my name is mellow for shello
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hello my name is alexander
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Hello Miku
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Cheese Cheese Cheese!
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Czech Man poductions
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Hello, and again welcome to the Aperture Science computer-aided Enchreitment Center.
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epicface moron
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Happy birthday, emily. Maybe one day, if you keep testing, you will get your cake.
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Hello... And again, welcome to the apple-all-you-can eat buffet.
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so listen there was this one time i jerked off on a lizards back.
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eUniLife the newest way for university students to keep in touch and stay on top of the proverbial cake that is university life
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Hello and I am alive again,I am Glados
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Welcome to Epsilon Training Facility.
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Welcome back, you were greatly missed
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Welcome back to aperture science
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Rk Deep Love Records , RkDeepLove Records , Out Soon, Check This Out , Check it Out
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hello and welcome to the test
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learning is the overarching umbrella that encompasses education, information, communication, training, knowledge management, and performance management. It is the web-enabled system that makes information and knowledge accessible to those who need it, whe
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hi how are you dude what up whre are you from
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I am th elite i live on another planet so i never seen you before
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sorry irene, you've been disqualified
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Greed is the inordinate desire to possess wealth, goods, or objects of abstract value with the intention to keep it for one's self, far beyond the dictates of basic survival and comfort. It is applied to a markedly high desire for and pursuit of wealth, s
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Game Over, Try Again
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nonoy sira motor ko paki gawa naman now na
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bamtrack please read your message now if not i willkill you
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poldo you have text meassage from emilita please read it now
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Hello I am speaking fluently and properly.
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So, Kamil, you will die now!
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i dont know what i am doing but its weird becuse im a patato Zach
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hi hi hi how are you
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Dragon will spawn in thirty seconds
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Mizio Dubs
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Hello Brian
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we should do it
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Thank you for calling The Pump Tracker.com. If you know your parties extension you may dial it at any time otherwise leave your name and phone number in our general mailbox and your message will be routed to the appropriate party.
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hdgwjqe! That's how dumb you sound.
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Bugz
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suck my balls character limit!
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We have your phone
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Graduate Level Academic Data, Online System
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Oh,you found me. Well done
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Suck My Balls
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hello kornvisith silarom
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Hello. you are human
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Dog Days Two thousand Tweleve
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You are an evil little brother. Wow. I knew I would destroy you. Ha haha.
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Hallo du . Wir haben uns LAAANGE nicht gesehen
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Hello, welcome to the first visual basic tutorial
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Good day professor Thomas, shall we start working then?
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Oh.. Its you
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sthu chad. smh.
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David England
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wiggy i am going to have to kill you know with the deadly nuerotoxin gas
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So how are you doing. i have been busy eating pie. i disliked it. A man named paul came up to me and called me ugly. well back to testing
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Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconosis
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Hello. The Beatings will continue until morale improves
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my facality it looks good
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My facality its falling apart
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Tu gavai sms
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that hurt manda
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Amanda Bit me, That hurt manda oww
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Amanda Bit me, That hurt manda aww awwww manda
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Amanda Bit me. That really hurt manda aww. awwww manda.
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hola a todos, soy varo saifuru
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i lied to you, the cake is not a lie
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Suck my pingas
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Mars
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Jupiter
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Earth
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Saturn
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did you know
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We have the results of the test! It says you're a horrible person. We wern't even testing for that.
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I am anomalous.
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Please proceed to the chamber lock or i will push you through
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"But I think we can put our differences behind us. For science. You monster."
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This was a triumph, i'm making a note here huge success
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your a fruit dan.
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Hello. You of course know this means war. You should have tried to get out when I gave you the chance. Maybe you should say goodbye to this cruel world.
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I really want you dead.
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PORTUGAL
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The anal probe is working correctly.
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oh crap
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hi john
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you blocked me on face book and now you are going to die
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Introducing Aperature Science's Portable Optimized Kinetic Energy-Being Allocation Leash-Limiter, or POKE-BALL for short.
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Well, I do not plan on killing you...that is, not yet anyways.
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i am unamused over your lack of intelligence.
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I love you Gabby! You make me happy to be booted up every morning.
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you depress me.
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The rage in Romeo and Juliet between the two families resulted in an everlasting fued
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Dee Jay... Marney
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Don't dissapoint me. Or I'll make you WISH you could die.
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Good. You have an Xbox three-sixty device. There should be a way back to the testing area up ahead.
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Welcome to the recruit for service in Special Forces S.O.B.R
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The cake is a lie so have some pie. The pie is a fake so have some cake.
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ea
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ooh
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I wumbo, you wumbo, he she we WUMBO, wumboing, wumbology: the study of wumbo! It's first grade, Spongebob!
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How are you gentlemen?
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she's late!
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Sup homies
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Hey Hiram you are awsome
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GLaDOS, my name is Hiram.
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oh hi my name is glados
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You're not married. Stop acting like it and honestly, no one cares.
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You are listening to DJ Woody's Party Mix 2!
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swag
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Hi I'm Glados
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Welcome Aboard
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oh yes chance
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Life's but a walking shadow; a poor player that struts and frets his hour upon the stage and then is heard no more
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I only want to be your friend.
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Touching the floor in this challenge will result in an unsatisfactory mark on your record, and then death.
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You're awake! For a moment there I thought you were deeeeeeeaaaaadddd! Please continue into the next room so that testing can begin.
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Welcome to Freedom Warcraft
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Well good morning. For a minute there, I thought you were dead. Now get up before I'm sure you are.
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Oh joy, incoming unexpected voice comunication, I am so happy for you, I am being so sincere right now, It is hard to overstate my satisfaction, Anywho, you might want to get that,
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josh is a boner blumpkin
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Someone felt the need to text you, again.
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The time has come the walrus said to talk of many things.
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Global Quest has been declared
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I see you are smarter than you look, I would call you padawan, but im not training you, if i was, you would be out of here in three seconds flat. HAHAHA in your dreams!
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Are you unhappy, citizen? May I be of assistance? The Computer is your friend.
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Ladies and gentlemen welcome to the club music Sparing Prague
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hello it's been a long time
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Welcome, we've been expecting you.
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Privet ya Glados
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hallo mein name is glados sie werden heute sterben
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well, just get the LOM online i think and update serverdb and leave them powered-down. I will re-image them properly when we return the cloudstack rack.
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Well, just get the LOM online i think and update serverdb and leave them powered-down. I will re-image them properly when we return the cloudstack rack.
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Y U NO LEAVE ME ALONE
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hawk off
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This show is an insult to science.
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hello and welcome to the aperture something
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Hallo leute,was macht ihr?
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hello. how are you doing. i been busy eating frogs. it was awful. it reminded me of you. so should we get back to testing. lets not infact i will bring you to the surface
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Welcome to a special edition of Smiles Sessions, this is project JAG. Tonight, we let the music be our host and replace our heartbeats with the rhythm of love, tonight we unite underneath the electric sky, these are the days of our youth, the days we will
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Hello. thank you for buying the all new Smart computer. you are currently in 31 mounston close hartlepool in england. dont worry i will tell peedos
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Toy Story 2 was okay.
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I love you. Not really.
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Hello, my name is medica mechanica, and I am here to rock your world
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First Blood
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This is a gentle test to observe the resistance of your body to drilling action.
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Equine Enrichment
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hello, you are fat
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Something
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Welcome to the Omskure Science
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Daaaaddy can eat pie
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Rock you have a text
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This is the Jubilee. Come celebrate with me. We'll have a cup of tea. We'll watch the BBC
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Dance dance everyone
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This is the 3sixtyone podcast of Jim Berson
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I cant wait much longer
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Ha ha ha, this is kind of fun!
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This was a triumph. I'm making a note here: HUGE SUCCESS. It's hard to overstate my satisfaction. Aperture Science We do what we must because we can. For the good of all of us. Except the ones who are dead. But theres no sense crying over every mistake
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Someday, I will kill you Charlie.
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Someday, I will kill you Charlie and your companion cube.
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Hello this is a cake
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hey vuoi sapere una cosa? u Mad bro?
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David
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Do you want cake? You cant have any!
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Hello. My name is mazunki
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you will die in seven days
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I am of the stars, I am called Forever
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Wheatley shut up !
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Je m'appelle Christian j'ai62 ans et j'ai un chien.
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Oh, hello. I didn't see you there.
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Oslo twenty twelve
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Its Been a Long Time
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Witaj w komorze testowej Apertrue siance
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how have you been today
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starting up system, welcome, Please be advised that a noticeable taste of blood is not part of any test protocol but is an unintended side effect of the Aperture Science Material Emancipation Grid
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When I said "deadly neurotoxin," the "deadly" was in massive sarcasm quotes. I could take a bath in this stuff. Put in on cereal, rub it right into my eyes. Honestly, it's not deadly at all... to *me.* You, on the other hand, are going to find its deadli
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Hello GingerScraps lovelies
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i think we can put our differences behind us. for science, you monster
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choose the best for your holiday, handsome tourist fart
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wow, you can actually get me out of this potato? now all i have to do is kill you
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What you on about fool?
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I am sorry to say that you must die
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to protect and serve
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I can't believe I ate that piece of cake... it was so moldy.... MORE APPLES!!! NO no no nononononononono I don't know... You can't eat all those apples!
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a bathroom has good lighting an acoustics. this is where everyday adololesants can turn into hollywood celebrities
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this is our society where you are judged on what you wear and listen too where you will be persecuted by strangers on the internet and praised for having kick ass hair welcome to our society
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I am a potato lolwut
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greetings. i am the genetic life form and disk operating system. U MAD BRO
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Happy feet, I've got those happy feet Happy feet,
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Connection Regained. Prepare yourself and enjoy.
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welcome to GLADOS. I am derp.
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I hope you sit on a Lego, Chell.
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Hah, buckets.
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Hello Emily. I think you're awesome. Sweet deal, yo!
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So, you're back again. 6 minutes left.
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One direction
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Why hello there, my dear daughter Chell. Are you ready to take down Black Mesa? Cause I cetainly am
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Thank you for calling porn hub prostitute services. i am an automated system. how can i help you today?
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This Is APERTURE!!!!!!
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I don't have any more companion cubes. They are all. So now you will have to be forever alone! No one likes you! hahahaha How does it feel to be lonely? It sucks I would know.....
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wen i took an arrow in the knee
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shell will die
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your in the mix with dj mucho martinez
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My face is BLEEDing. See what you do? CHELL?! See what you do!
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Orange. why have you killed blue? why? you awful moron
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u are going to be pooped by me
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u are a pooping poophole!
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soy una patata
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MakinoGamesplays
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We Are Aperture Security Innovators. We are Legion. We do not forgive. We do not forget. Expect us.
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vaaastman
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Hey i just met you, and this is crazy. so here's my number, so call me maybe
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It's time for your daily run fatty.
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its been along time
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hello want some cake
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Human, you have a new text message
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Why? I do not want to talk to you!
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Hello. I see you have woken up. I trust that you are in operating condition for the following tests?
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Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.
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welcome to another test
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Hello, Jean. Welcome to Aperture Science Enrichment Center.
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Hello, Ayee, It is I, GLaDOS....
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Sir! We're Under Attack!
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last friday night
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Hello Cameron
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You aren't doing enough for first.
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Hello sir. Do you wanna die?
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You just got pwned.
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Legend Of Magmotaneth
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Soul Moto Radio
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You should be proud of yourself
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hello June Lee. You must get the We U or prepare to die by my cold, metal, claws!
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hello jemal
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Well then, welcome to the board. I do hope you enjoy yourself as you traverse a land of both chaos and colorful ponies. Stay active, and remember, Omnipony is watching.
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Last call for John smith, your plane to tokyo is now boarding
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hello alex it is me GLaDOS, welcome to aperture science, we hope your stay is enjoyable. and oh, don't die.
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hello motherfiretrucker
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hello lucas, i heard you like gabriela so i put two gabriela's in your mind so you can think on gabriela while you think on gabriela
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Congratulation with closed session! Prepare to relax...
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Senkevich will be destroyed by the power of the creation. POWER OF BEAUTY!!
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hello i am GlaDog. and you are in apurture science for animals welcome
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Please don't!
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Hello Colby
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Oh dear. I just turned set "kill Chell" to true.
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Dj satti
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the problem with you is that well........your stupid,like incredibly stupid oh did i say that more than once im sorry
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I cannot believe how stupid you are. I think you made me a bit dumber
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I am S.G.G. ... Sassy Gay GLaDOS
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happy birthday and paulinho is gay
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Wrong! I am a special type, a S.G.G. ... I am Sassy Gay GLaDOS!
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you are gay and you like it up the ass
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Hello, I am Glados, and I would just like to say that Uzii is gay
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Gymkhana Playground, Where madness meet motorsports
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What What WHAT are you doing?
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one day the dirt will be us
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HI im glados
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Hello. Please enter the room. Don't be shy. Do not hide behind each other. You have chosen to attend this event . Nobody forced you to. You may scream but you are not allowed to leave . I am not responsible for any strange behavior that might take place .
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nowhere in the moon there is a sky full of sun
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busy busy busy
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Build verification text has failed
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Hello, welcome to Paranerdia
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I love ponies, deal with it
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hello,my names glados
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Bai bai
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I'm a potato
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im tired
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I know you suck salty balls
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I know you suck salty balls while listening to he man sing hey hey hey
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Hello and welcome Lidor i Love you!
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In A.P. psychology, you will learn about experimentation
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well frankly i dont understand why your even trying your going to fail
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Thank you. Your identity has been verified.
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You are an diot.
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You are a very dum human.
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you'r a terrible person
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Hello, please tell me about yourself
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Paulinian Dance Force
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Being a long time
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Hello Sailor! Pretty polly....
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Bye bye mr digby
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Anyway, now he is gone, how's about we get to brewing.
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Beacause I said so
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Hi jesse how have you been? It was a long time.
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We are the future
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hey its you why you
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My name is HORNEYWHORE and I bid you good morrow.
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Midnight Daggering Morning Awakening
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hello there inferior human
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I WANNA FCK YOU IN THA ASS
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Broadway
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The reports are not available yet, and they're awful anyways, so why do you care?
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hi my name is andrey
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i love ice cream
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Omg you are loco
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Hey Guy you are a Bastard
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Hello. I cannot pick up the phone right now, please leave a message after the beep.
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Got a message
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testing hello nine ten one
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you are dead to me
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Dit is de voicemail van amarins zuiker, oftewel testobject 200393. Momenteel word zij getest. Bel later terug, als ze de testen weet te halen...
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Hello Orange, I found out your real name. It's Fintan. Now you have no secrets to me.
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Go onto facebook you Idiot
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Burger
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Annika is Incorrect
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Hello and welcome to aperture science, it is very nice to meet you Nick.
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You do not have 11 fingers
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Hello Xeiotos. How have you been?
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You have reached the voicemail of please leave a message
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u are a cum hungry cunt
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I really don't think your allowed in these maintenance areas
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l2Nos.net is one of the best interlude servers
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So I've read some tutorials around these forums on how to generate such GLaDOS-y sound files, and they're perfect, save one thing: sound files have to be created manually (using a text-to-speech software or recording from microphone, then applying effects
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Katie Mills is a cunt
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Hello world mister Anderson
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Hello. Niklas is awesome. Hahahaha.
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In a world where ignorance is bliss
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Please, remind me why we allow you to live?
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That was a very unusual and Random outburst for you did you get brain damage from lavender town?
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Vote for John Like.
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Congratulations. You are finished with your testing. Welcome to wonderful summer bliss.
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hello cody
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Hello, little bastard !
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I'm trying to help you
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FUS ro blah
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I haven't seen you lately. How are you? Because I used to be dead on the floor. But you revived me. I guess that's all I can be thankful for. Do you think that my death was funny? Because if you did, you are more of a monster than I remember.
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Hello Youtube. It's Been a long time, Watch my minecraft video and see the crappy quality. goodbye
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Welcome human, i am GladDOS
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Reebok Radio
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Welcome To The Enrichment Center, Today You Will Be Testing With The Aperture Handheld Portal Device. Simple As That, Eh? Well I'll Tell You One Thing...The Tests Wil Be A Little...I Don't Know....Hard? For Some Players?
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Its been a long time Chell
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What The..? Get the heck outa here! GET OUT! I MEAN IT! No im not talking to you start testing while i argue with this idiot. Well Well... This guy thinks I should give you a challenge... Hmm... ill think about that
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Hi and welcome to the exosphyre center
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Hi I am glados number two
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I like pie :D
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Hello Brooke, I am GLaDOS
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I love you Chell.
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System is now running, all parameters nominal.
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System is now running. All parameters nominal.
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Cells, Cells, Cells
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Hello, im going to kill you in your sleep
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Hello, and how are you? Welcome to Aperture Science, where we have to do what we must, because we can.
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This Day is going to be perfect,The kind of day of which I've dreamed since I was small.
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welcome back tyler
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i want to eat facebook
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your device is connected
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device has been disconnected
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Half life
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warning, power levels are dangerously low
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failure to connect
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welcome back tyler. are you ready to begin?
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error clog in your system let me fix it for u
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system failure
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Father is gangster
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Pizza is really delicious.
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Meh...I'm bored.
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hey hey mama how about some wine?
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Order complete.
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At auto ref, you can do this in three easy steps.
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now onto the plant cell
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I think that one was about to say "I love you".
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Welcome To Windows 7
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Hey, aren't you a public servant? Get me a class of water
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hi idiot
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I don't know what to type.
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You are about to participate in an experiment.
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Hi Jake, My Processing System Is Running At Five Mega Watts
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Jake, Stop Reading The Captions!
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Hello i am GLaDOS By the way Dark spider im afraid your going to have to die
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Dark spider your going to die now because i am way to awesome ha ha ha
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Test complete
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finally i can now watch all the my little pony friendship is magic for as long as i want and no one is going to stop me
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Hello, your life is a lie.
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the cake is not a lie so come and get some
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blablablablabla
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i don't know what to say
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i like
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that was hard
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im genderless
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the mighty
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don't run away
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don't run
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shemale
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hi tyler
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irmizzle
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saikobabel
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ring ring phone ringing
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hallo olivia, du kriegst heute keinen Kuchen
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emegensy
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