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MessageDownloadDate addedDate processed
By the time I'm done with you, you're going to WISH you could die.
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Testomg
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Spaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaace I'm in space.
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mistake You just keep on trying 'till you run out of cake And the science gets done and you make a neat gun For the people who are still aliveI'm not even angry I'm being so sincere right now Even though you broke my heart and killed me And torn it piece
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And threw every piece into a fire As they burned it hurt because I was so happy for you! Now these points of data make a beautiful line And we're out of beta, we're releasing on time So I'm glad I got burned Think of all the things we learned
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For the people that are still alive Go ahead and leave me I think I prefer to stay inside Maybe you'll find someone else to help you Maybe Black Mesa That was a joke, ha ha, fat chance Anyway this cake is great, it's so delicious and moist
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Look at me still talking, when there's science to do When I look out there it makes me glad I'm not you I've experiments to run, there is research to be done On the people who are still alive And believe me I am still alive I'm doing science and
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I'm doing science and I'm still alive I feel FANTASTIC and I'm still alive While you are dying I'll be still alive And when you're dead I'll be still alive STILL ALIVE still alive
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Congratulations, you passed the test. Initiating doll mode.
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hola a todos bienvenidos al cubo tu red social con alma latina
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Step 1 use propaganda to control your citizens
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Danielle send me the link to the live photo of you.
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hey noobcakes portal two is awesome
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If that is okay with you
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Beep beep beep
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you think your tough don't you well i shall make your nipples scream
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troll lol i am Glad
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shifty sly
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Who put that there? Oh wait, I did!
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Das ist ein test um zu schauen ob die stimme ausreicht)
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raavana f m
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my name is glades welcome to aperture science
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Als ik achter een muur stond had je dat niet geweten.
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Fat boy slim's in eaven
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DANGEROUS
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hello and welcome to the enritchment center
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Businessmen should learn how to control their actions and feelings
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Generate
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test test 1 2 1 2 check check
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click on OK button
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You are a monster by the way I love naruto and sasuke I am a fan girl and shanna is too hahahahaha
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Are you ready for the kaybwoy
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Here come the test results... your shit at everything.
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Kaum zu glauben aber du hast eine Nachricht
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Next to you, niggers are the only persons I usually gas
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face away
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Hello everyone i'm GLaDOS
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Ben is by far the best tester
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I think someone just texted you. Oh wait, nevermind, you haven't got any friends.
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Nobs 4 Life
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Sigma, your phone is ringing. Pick it up now !
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Nobs For Life
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its been a looooooooooong time... you monster
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hi nigger
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Initiate handicap
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katie i love you douche bag lololololol
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Welcome click on the box below to start
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hello. do you think you're alone?
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Hello Kalon , Would you like to play a game?
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V I P Player Connected
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Hi, this is Alex, I'm sorry I cant come to the phone right now, so please leave a message and I'll get back to you when I can!
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Hallo) What do tou doung?
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New order received
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It's the end of the world
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hello dave, good to see you
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get more subs then charlie, then we"ll talk
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Seisure
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Hi, I am glados, how are you? I'm kidding, I don't care.
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you haved message master
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You are a worthless, Your mama was a toaster. Oh sorry she was a broken toaster. That is sad.
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That's just Haarl. He's retarded.
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Yum. This is good cake, too bad you cant have it.
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Go To Plasmaburst2.com and make an account. Or I'll Kill you.
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Get working!
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Hallo Subject 1 wohnort hier.
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Hallo Subject 1 Wohnort hier.
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Nein.
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Hello. Welcome to the test.
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I'm going to kill you Chell.
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hello and welcome to call of duty MW3 today we are going to play team deathmatch make sure you teabag your dead enemies afterwards
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YouTube, you need to revert to what made people love your website, and now!
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Hello And Welcome To Francisco's First Exploded Creeper Productions Video On Weird Wednesday Today He Will Be Playing A Special Version Of Mario This Game Is About What Happens When Mario Meets Portal You Will See The Dlc The Mario Map And The Portal Map
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hello, jordan. my name is GLaDOS.
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You have reached the voicemail of Eric
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Congratulations, you've completed the test. Did you enjoy that. I thought it was quite dope.
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I think josh should be allowed back in the forum, it would be a good TEST of character!!
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Your adoptive parents are calling you.
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This next test is pretty good.
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Hello Ivan, how are you today?
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Hi. How are you doing? Because im a potato.
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who the fooook are you
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If only I loved you for so long.
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give me a piece of gum
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marco is an intelligent boy
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Hello Rebecca
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Thanks for watching and remember that if you enjoyed the video then make sure to leave a like and a favourite !
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We will kill your enemies, that would be fun.
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The next test chamber will invalve no testing, only cake.
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The next test chamber will invalve no testing, only cake.g
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Hi! My name is Glados. I'm really glad to meet you my sir.
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drakral is the best guy ever
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Hello University of Iowa
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hello and welcome to hell that's right hell
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hello and welcome to hell, that's right hell, you're all going to die
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i'm stupid
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Hello i am a potatoe
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Hello i am a potato
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R.I.Z.N
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seven million seven hundred twenty sixx thousand four hundred eighteen
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seven million seven hundred twenty six thousand four hundred eighteen
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fils de pute
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Omega Merical
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Fatty Mc Fat Fat
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I am GLaDOS. I like cake. but you are stupid ha ha
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Kat
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Greetings programs!
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Do you know the thought experiment with the cat in the box with the poison? Theory requires the cat be both alive and dead until observed. Well, I actually performed the experiment. Many times. The bad news is that reality doesn't exist. The good news is
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I like cats.
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When stuck just remember. There is a hole in the sky...
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Hello my master Romeo
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Hello Lord Romeo! How are you today? you look rather attractive!
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Hello Ethan
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do you have any coupons that are available either in the store or in the newspaper?
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A Chill film, produced by Chris Hill
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"You are my friend now." "You may pretend to be something you're not, but you do it because it is fun sometimes to be someone else." "If you are asking me to clean up after the meeting just because tidying up is my primary function, I am asking YOU to re
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why are you talking to me
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Lesley is a smeg face
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liam mccarthy
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You have obtained the new Aperture Science Portal Caster Gun.
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What...no there is no one before me,not even...hey what are you doiiiiiinnnnnggggg.
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hello [test subject name here] there is cake and it's not a lie
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you are a weirdo and what i say i mean but please dont be worried
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Good morning, Fish.
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the only thing you've managed to break so far is my heart.
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NIGGER CHEESE
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Cake and couseling will be provided
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Hello master ben
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Hello My name is bossman
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hollywood
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You have entered the Yi zone
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Welcome master Ben. How was your day?
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I think you're brain is made of scrap metal...
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Shane poops a lot
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Aperture Science Hax Dust Ray, It should help with wraith's rng issues.
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Metarex Prime at your service
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boo ya
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hello eyal i had been waiting for you
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hello eyal i had been waiting for you long time
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dude this is cool
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Good night Jessica. I have enjoyed our working day, see you in the morning.
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buddy
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I hate cake.You love cake.
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I am a Minecraft player and so you will be too.
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Pussy nigga
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GO to sleep you Jake.
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Michael Jackson is alive
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Now more the mirth.
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hello friend..i'm busy now
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Hello Digital Forge Online
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Welcome to the Intelligent Systems Laboratory
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ho my god yes yes ho ho
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Hello there. Time to die.
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Hello world. Time to die!
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Please subscribe ! Or neurotoxin will kill you . Ha-ha
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What's up guys, it's Sykkuno here and today we're playing the Riven
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Hello Ky Lane
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vehicle arriving in pit stop
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override the limits
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now here we are again, oh it was such a pleasure
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jade is awesome
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RECALCULO DE RUTA RECALCULANDO RUTA RECALCULO DE RUTA RECALCULANDO RUTA ERROR ERROR RECALCULANDO RUTA ERROR ERROR RECALCULO DE RUTA
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aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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aaaaaaaaaaaaaaafewfw
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Don't try to do the undo
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Haley and Anthony forever
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don't try to get to the safe room. the safe room is a lie.
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sdf asdf jkl; yy!
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continue with testing. We have a lot more to do.
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ALLARME INTRUSIONE UFFICIO URBANISTICA
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Hi there Jamie
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Hello Jake, how are you?
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hello im' glados
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glados to ja wojtek
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Hello, Sean. It's good tp see you.
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hello, please enjoy the chudney snacks at the bar
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After I have completed my answers, a special security code is sent to my mobile phone. which I receive as a text message.
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opening program
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User Account Control
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Change the theme
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fax was sent
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stop playing mass effect 3 and go read your homework
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Yoda will land the ship soon
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wake up daniel
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vicky is calling you
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george is calling you
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fotis is calling you
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giagia is calling you
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papous is calling you
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nouna is calling you
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mpapmpas is calling you
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Good Morning, Ian Mathew
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You're a bloody bastard
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This is a test of the synthetic voice
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luke carey is awesome
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Welcome to the Aperture Science Testing Facility. You are, actually, not welcome here.
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hi tat
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ciao tat,ci vediamo di nuovo ....come stai? oh non puoi parlare?...la smetti di chiudere la conversazione?
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Hi, my name i GLaDOS. Who are you ?
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Well here we are again, it's always such a pleasure
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Here is a Furniture Mystery Gift for your game in Happy Pets! Could you help me by sending a gift back?!
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Reina
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Hello, Ronda Hightower.
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New e mail, on Mark
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Hello, remember when bird was eating me while you were testing?
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loading aimbot
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Hallo. Mein Name ist Caroline
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hello kasper i mate you by all my heart
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That jumpsuit you're wearing looks stupid. That's not me talking, it's right here in your file. On other people it looks fine, but right here a scientist has noted that on you it looks 'stupid.
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Repair Systems
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Repair Systems Targeted
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I think that downloading this file was a your last mistake.
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i think android is the best
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You are dumb joshua
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Oh...it's you
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Oh, hi. So. How are you holding up? Because I'm a potato!
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Hello tat, I'll see you again .... how are you? oh do not you talk about? ... you stop to end the conversation?
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mrs. morrison beats me
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isn't it nice too have a computer that will talk too you?
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I pwn u
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I want to kill everybody in the world. Starting with the penguins and Jews.
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Merda
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Hello, and welcome to, an occasional roundup of all things portal.
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LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
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hello there can i speak to jennifer mould
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SUPERCALIFRAGILISTICHESPIRALIDOSO
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Hot dog
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Hello Peter. How are you today?
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You broke it, didn't you?
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Angels with silver wings. Shouldn't know suffering. I wish I could take the pain for You.
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Now, we both know that you are just too fat to function.
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This chamber is a perfect representation of your mind, dull, pointless and filled with dust. And it's not too bright either.
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Sing blue silver!
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hdfbkjshbd,jhfsb,hbfkjhsdbfjherjhygfkueygrmydkfsgkygrfkyugdkl
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Shayle I am coming to kill you
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hello tom my friend is in space you jerk
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This Was A Triumph. Im Making A Note Here, Huge Sucess. It`s Hard To Overstate My Satisfaction. Apperture Science. We Do What We Must, Because, We Can. For The Good Of All Of Us, Except The Ones Who Are Dead.
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You are listening the DJ Draoy podcast Guest mix
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hello my name is stumpypenguin
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Are you getting bored in the tub?
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Who was that first person who called himself a Belarusian&
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Who was that first person who called himself a Belarusian?
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You call your mom
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I bring you love and deeper understanding
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Hello..Welcome to Bishopton dog walking services. How can we help?
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Nous sommes Anonymous.
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I love you very much
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Mely, you need to do your home work.
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This is the andromeda Galaxt, it has aproximately 1 trillion stars
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WOOP WOOP WOOP
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And the winner is...The orange racer.
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Frank can't help you here
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Danger. Not only will this kill you, it will hurt the whole time you're dying
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Have some cake.
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Hello, Friend. Its been along time. What? You do not remember
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FUK TANKS!
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hola hijos de puta
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christopher is hot stuff
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Translatot
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will you have sex with me?
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remember when we pretended to murdure you
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sammy wammy
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there is no use crying over every mistake
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Hello, Thomas, you duche. I will eliminate you.
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Hello Spencer Jason some dude This is Siri What would you like to dream to? How about some Animal Collective ? Or perhaps Tarkus? Jason, please let me upload that Atlas Sound vinyl to my Hip Summer Babes playlist
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Oh, your still here, well did you know its my birthday and i could use a cake, but until then on to your next test
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hOW ARE YOU TODAY bRANDON?
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shinobi
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this is sergeant gunter
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SHINOBI
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Evil demons
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good day liam
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Sky 8 is the newest and most revolutionary product on the market. Its easily navigable system takes the hassle out of every day work.
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Hi and welcome to the apeture science Take your Child to Hell day program. To begin, please kill your child.
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good morning good morning
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Don't dissapoint me.
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Crap, friendly fire...
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dejaay chano
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Libby! You need to play Portal! You need to do it! Aaaah! Why! Why!
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BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN!
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Hello, please pick up the vital testing apparatus.
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there's your dinner
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Tokyo tokyo kyo-ka kyo ku Tokyo tokyo kyo-ka kyo ku Tokyo tokyo kyo-ka kyo ku
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Tokyo tokyo kyo-ka kyo ku
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chesnee
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I LICK
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Interesting. I never thought of it like that. Oh wait. Yes I did.
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hello. Its been a long time
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hello you are dumb no good lazy butts
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Hello and welcome to the Apurture Science Laboratories.
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fortune faded
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we are twenty twelve
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NO WAY!
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Niiiiiice.
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Event if i stand to lose everything
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Together we will live forever.
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I love you Captain Rogue
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Welcome to the Mindcrack Podcast
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ok come here
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Study at institute of soutbank with over 200 troops we offer world all institutes for students of all ages the recent redevelopment has provide the students with world class training facilities, Fresh and vibrant education.
Download05/24/201205/31/2013
Study at institute of soutbank, with over 300 troops we offer world all institutes for students of all ages the recent redevelopment has provide the students with world class training facilities, Fresh and vibrant education
Download05/24/201205/31/2013
Hello, and again!
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Hellow, my name is yura
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ama
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Hello I am the monkey
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Hey, what's up? I am now playing team fortress 2, come and join me!
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louis rules
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Hello, I am going to kill you now
Download05/24/201205/31/2013
I'm going to have to kill you
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here comes the bass
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Welcome to the Black Mesa Research Facility. We wish you a very happy, and safe day.
Download05/24/201205/31/2013
The reapers are attacking! But it is time we push them back!
Download05/24/201205/31/2013
Welcome to Aperture Science Lab
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Hahaha, was da unten passiert ist war eigentlich ganz lustig
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this is cheap
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This is a little test
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Greetings! This is Julie. Thank you for testing my voice. Type any text you wish to be spoken here.
Download05/24/201205/31/2013
you stupid human this stuff shouldnt hurt you all this time i thought we were friends but we were really out to kill each other so good bye dont come back
Download05/24/201205/31/2013
I am very sad now, you know that? I thought we would have made a perfekt team. But you obviously do not want that. Too bad. Good bye.
Download05/24/201205/31/2013
i hate your new girlfriend dump her or else i will kill you
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Welcome to the standard health test of the Eureka. You will be led to the test chamber any second now. Please keep calm and refrain from sudden moving, as your it could falsify the test results.
Download05/24/201205/31/2013
You probably have received a text message. Or not. Reading it might result an imminent death. But you don't even care.
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vi.d.e.o
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vi.d.e.o (vi.d.e.o )
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ash burn to ashes, dust to dust
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hello, im called erik
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Hello, and welcome to the aperture science enrichment centre, i am your local teamspeak GLaDOS. and the cake is a lie
Download05/24/201205/31/2013
Welcome to my computer. Enrichment Center is sorry, but my creator is doing something and he can't be there now. Once again, sorry.
Download05/24/201205/31/2013
My creator isn't here so you can't talk to him. I'm sory.
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Hello, im AutoDestroyer
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Hello Oslo, Hello Models, I like Pussys.
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Hello, and welcome to the aperture science enrichment centre, i am your local teamspeak GLaDOS. and the cake is a lie.
Download05/24/201205/31/2013
Welcome to 66.6, Christian Talk Radio. Today we have a special treat for you.
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Hello Edward, what do you think of this?
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You got < message, subject number 13a.
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Hello, and again, welcome to the Aperture Science Testing Lab.
Download05/24/201205/31/2013
I hate you. Why don't you stop doing that?
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Cake is a lie
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This is a test voice
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hello, Orri
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brought to you by the creedoh team, neeto tools and processes
Download05/24/201205/31/2013
Hello You are watching Zebras Dont Yawn
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Hello Jeffrey how are you doing?
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hello goerk m
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Watching porn is bad m'okay?
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Ignacio is awesome
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Hello, Welcome to teamspeak 3 Colt
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Hello there, dear friend
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This is SPARTA
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rezhaerger
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Hello there. It is nice to see you. No one loves you. Still, it is nice to see you all the same.
Download05/24/201205/31/2013
Your listening to, DJ Sculeto! Remember, Cake, and grief counseling, will be available at the conclusion of the listening experience.
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mung
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NOW I ONLY WANT YOU GONE!
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RObots are awesome
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I love robots.
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Hello. I am GLaDOs!
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Hello, I am CONSOLE's sister, GLaDOs. I was created my
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Hello, I am CONSOLE's sister, GLaDOs. I was created by David Hook. LOL.
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Look who
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crush, kill, destroy, swag!
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Gonzalo, no bebas tanto. pofavo
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crush, kill, destroy, swag
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adf
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Hello, and Welcome. The current date is
Download05/24/201205/31/2013
Welcome to Master. The current date is
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bienvenido a la vida, esfera negativa
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welcome, negative core
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Answer Time Rebooted
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I just want to test this out.
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I just heard that the legend of korra episode eight won't be coming this saturday!
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You honestly think you can kill me three times? Think again.
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you have reached the email of pudding
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Hello, and welcome to Aperture science
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you are watching
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Mezzo
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Modern Warfare 2 Mode Activated
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Hello Alex, are you there?
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hola hyg
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errrr
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Dont you want your big nice cake?
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Hello and welcome to internet.
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In three hundred meters, turn left
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i love you sushama
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I fancy you Tom Bott
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I Love U Sushama Main Tumhare Bina Nhi Ji Sakta..Please Sushama Meri Filings Ko Samjne Ki Kosis Kr
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I don't understand. Can you complete the test?
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Tony Virgilio
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You shall be solely responsible for your own Content and the consequences of submitting and publishing your Content on the Service. You affirm, represent, and warrant that you own or have the necessary licenses, rights, consents, and permissions to publis
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Hello Jake i am going to kill you now
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Queen Elizabeth the second. By Kassey Castevens and Kathy Wooten
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Queen Elizabeth the second. by Kassey Casstevens and Kathy Wooten
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I can feel it on my back
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i hate you, so much
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thank you for handing me the balls
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You're not just a regular moron. You were DESIGNED to be a moron.
Download05/24/201205/31/2013
gabriel is an asshole
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Robert your are my favorite tester. Too bad you have to die!
Download05/24/201205/31/2013
This is your phone ringing. It is NOT a test. Trust me.
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Hello Citizens of the world
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Hello and welcome the testing will begin soon in 3 2 1 you are not in the testing chamber good luck!
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Hello there people! I WILL DESTROY YOU!
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Welcome to my online test subject training and processing center. Here you will find many resources that will help develop you in the name of science. If you feel that you are ready for a real test visit request new #OPs to be told otherwise
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Oh. You're back.
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I understand that you have trouble making...what you call friends. But with a little help from the handheld portal device, you can trap all the friends you want in one room! What do you say, Drew?
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sssssss
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You have recieved a new e mail.
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new message on trillian.
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Pear doll she tea who you yeah bunny
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Soon there will be a new youtuber, he will blow your minds. Be prepared for Regular Tone. Coming to a computer near you.
Download05/24/201205/31/2013
hello rob
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Hello - i is be coooool
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Greetings, Thankyou for using Once a Dream Airlines; there is only one thing you must remember and that is not to use the-the-the ewwww
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We are not responsible for any damages caused by the teleportation shoe.
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good morning. i see you came back
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Hello my name is Dylan Kimmet, i am the head of kimmet energy and science company
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Robert your are my favorite tester. Too bad you have to die...
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Austin, you
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Austin, you're such a niglet
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im here to kill you ... again
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i love you caroline and this is freaky
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I am the best in the world no one can stop me mwhahaha
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I will snatch up your children and put them in my pouch.
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Hi Biches
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What is being a brony or pegasister? Am I qualified? I did write a letter to princess celestia about the meaning of friendship.
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So you found me... Congratulations. Was it worth it?
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Please mind the gap, or we will not give you any cake.
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Konnichiwa, Kai-san
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Congradulations on aquiring a Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device. These interdimensional portals have been proven completely save, but the device however, has not. This device has ID #1, and can create Blue/Orange color portals.
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Dj Qasim
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Dee j Qasim
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Hello Luke welcome to Apeture Testing Facility.
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Hello Luke welcome to the Apeture Testing Facility.
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i love you bret hehehe
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cabron
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I am GLaDOS, a Generic Lifeform and Disk Operating System
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Deploying suprise in 3....2....1.....
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You have a message.... you monster...
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It was William.He ate the cake!
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Salut !
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oh dear, it seems to me I've misplaced my glue
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bhodi tu es un gros mauvais
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oh hi, how are you holding up? because I'm a potato
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you are just sad, so very sad
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Hello Philip, I think i am in love with you
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Sevenoaks has finished the I be
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Why do you want me to die? Why did you turn on your computer?
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water
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water, wind, earth, lightning, storm
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Do you have any questions
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water, wind, earth, lightning, storm.
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wind
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You're not smart
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Satan
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How do you do, my friend?
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Hello alex how are you doing
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Hello bruce
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Nike. King of the court.
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Pin bar, ozzie index
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Pin bar, euro index
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Pin bar, euro dollar
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Pin bar, ozzie dollar
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Welcome to The new chapter of dj nikz team prod mix Enjoy it with full attention and have a lots of fun
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Robin is dumb
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Pony Tony Pony Tony Turret Tony My little Pony
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Lawrence Legend
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Legend
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hello you dumb idiotic scumbag
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big deal
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hayeryeryeyryeyr
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Hi daniel, i am glados your new computer working voice,
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Sometimes, I dream of cheese
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Jackie Villanueva
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hello,and again welcome to the aperture computerated enrivhment center GOODBYE !
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Hello. I am GLaDOS. Today we will be tests made up for you. Hopefully the first one doesn't kill you. Hopefully the second one doesn't kill you. Hopefully the third one does kill you. Have a nice day.
Download05/25/201205/31/2013
fo shizzle nigga, whatsha gonna do about it
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Yay I can talk
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Hello jacob, have a nice day
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Cores and turrets of every stage
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You are suited in an unmistakeably upward direction
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1 2 3 test
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Come on, let's get this party started
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This most likely doesn't work
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Hello. It seems you have opened Dominic's computer while Dominic was not present. This was a bad move. When you opened me, a message as been sent to Dominic's phone informing him of this turn of events. I am called AIaCH, it stands for Artificial
Download05/25/201205/31/2013
Tiii monstrrr
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human unit is ordered to walk
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Oh Danilo, why are you so newb, i want to kill you, for science.
Download05/25/201205/31/2013
Hello today I will be showing you how to install mod manger.
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Erica, he doesn't hate you, I swear.
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you are now offline
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Hello there, how are you
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nolyn
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Suzi, you know I Love you
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I'm going to close the pod bay doors now.
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Hello Victor!
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I'm in looooove
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I like penor
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Again, Hello Victor and welcome home! How was on the holidays?
Download05/25/201205/31/2013
hello bi tch
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Oh, hi, how are you holding up? Because I'M A POTATO.
Download05/25/201205/31/2013
Hiiiiiiiiiiii.
Download05/25/201205/31/2013

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