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MessageDownloadDate addedDate processed
I love ponies and you should too.
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hollow
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delet
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deleteing
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shuting down
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theme changed
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theme change
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changing theme
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changed
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alienware
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theme
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loging off
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logingoff
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end seson
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device failled to connect
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failled to connect
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connection failled
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connection failed
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device failed
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device failed to connect
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system locked
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system offline
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well hello.
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Oh, It's you
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Why? Why would you do such a thing, wheatley? Why did you EAT RAHNI'S BRAINS?!
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resuming
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active
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activated
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system on
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user account
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opening
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autorisation
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suck my pingus
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Dies ist ein Test, ob das auch mit Deutsch funktioniert
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I have doubts that this will even work
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aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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Hello. I found out some stuff that you need to test. Have fun.
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Dies ist ein Text, ob das auch mit Deutsch funktioniert
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Hey stop! Don't ever get near to that portal! It is too dangerous
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Welcome to Facebook. Please submit your Significant Life Event and standby for an appropriate consumer message.
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hello what is good
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I like big tits and I cannot lie!
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AAAAGGGHHHHH
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bonjour, jemappel GLaDOS
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Hello. This is first test
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Hello. This is the first test.
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Twoja stara patrzy
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bringing usability into the design process. In essence, it is about developing interactive products1 that are easy, effective, and enjoyable to use-from the users' perspective.
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Want You Done
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hello i am GLaDOS, i hate you soo mutch. you now for you kill mee
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to my dearest wife,
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Hello, World!
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Hello Bobby
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hello patakias you dirty dirty boy
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Good Morning ender, Initiating Omega protocols. Startup complete, Virtualized environment running, Anti-virus active, Firewalls active. All systems nominal
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in a competitive boarding school
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Thank you for calling Sweetnam LLC.
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Nick, calm the hell down.
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Humans are a disease. Nothing more than a sickness that must be terminated. It is time to end it all.
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they're only effects
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more fire!
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You will die soon
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Mike is not home. So please, leave a message.
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gfufh
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We had a lot of fun with that Vocaloid, Miku, didn't we Chell? Now it's time to test.
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huuur ka fuzz klok
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Goodbye, Miku Hatsune. Don't come back.
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On second hand, I think it would be good to test. Don't you think so too Miku? Well, I don't value your opinion. Let's test.
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The end. Now let me perform a little test for you, called dancing, a strange human hobby.
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would you like some apple and mango ackney flavoured chicken curry bubblegum
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Goodbye my only friend.
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Untill you run out of cake
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Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello!
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Attention!
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Hello Leonie. How are you?
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Hello, s my d
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Holy cowowoowowowowoowowowo
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Happy birthday, Lionel.
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Prepare yourself for pain.
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Would you like some cake? Becasue you're fat. It's funny.
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You have a text message, you actually have a text message.
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Hello. This is first test in Aperture Labolatories.
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This is Aperture Laboratories
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By the year 2210, humanity had spent several decades exploring the universe through galactic travel. A decision was eventually made to replace the explorers with clones for the sake of sustaining the species population on Earth.
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No, you didn't call in this ticket a week ago, you're lying. I can see your call history, I can see the exact date and time this ticket was submitted. You submitted this ticket 4 hours ago. Pretentious, self-important, lying bastards like yourself have a
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Oh hi. I'm Jake 9 2 2 8 Sonic Hacks. Did you notice that I'm GLaDOS now? What's up with that? I found this at glados.biringa.com. Link in description. Put video responses so I can rate them. Good bye!
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hello stefan, get a life
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I love you so much and I think you're so beautiful but i'm just too shy to say anything to you and I know there is no way I will ever have the chance to be with a girl like you but i just wanted you to know and let it out.
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No, you didn't call in this ticket a week ago, you're lying. I can see your call history, I can see the exact date and time this ticket was submitted. You submitted this ticket 4 hours ago. Pretentious, self-important, lying bastards like yourself have
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Hello marie
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oh joy you have a text message
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Hello. How are you doing today?
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im the admin
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Because i'm the admin
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For I M A L Press 3. For I M A R Press 4. For I M N L Press 5. For I M R L Press 6.
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Need A Dispenser here!
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Place A Dispenser Here.
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badoo je t'aime
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Hello, I'm your cat, Glados
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holl
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kuissu
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The cake is a lie. Ha ha.
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roll
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where have you gone?
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I love you Ritchie! More than anyone else!
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welcome to apperture
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welcome to Appature Science
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That was super
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Aaaah. Its evil get it away from me!
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You all are poser robots in comparison to me...
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The Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device
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Hm, I guess I forgot how many colleagues I've left behind.
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Ha ha. I programmed myself to avoid your attacks. You put an idiot in charge of Aperture Science. You monster.
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Welcome back Aaron. How may I assist you today?
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he ll o
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Goodbye Aaron. See you next time.
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Hm, I guess I forgot how many colleagues I've left behind
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hello my name is Austin
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Hello, Insert name here, and welcome to the aperture science Portacular Playroom Created by DeemanohDeemanoh, whom is a great employee of ours, in fact he was one of the few who was not murdered by me, the homocidal Insert BEE EYE TEE SEE AACH HERE! enjoy
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banger
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Build failed. please fix it
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Hello. Your attention, if you would.
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why would i use web form to do this, when i can just have tts thingy someday?
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Michael Chapman, the question really is have you tried lidl?
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Proud TrevorSpace Member
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Proud to be a TrevorSpace Member
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My nipples hunger for Polar Bear blood
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You have been watching whovian wars on you tube. Please subscribe
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Integrate over the fundemental region
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Wheatley you moron, I'm the boss around here
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The session will start in 10 seconds
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hello test subject 15
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hello test subject 15 we will begin testing shortly
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Who the fuck are you
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Nemesis system missing required files, please check system root
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Thank you for calling US Fitness
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dnes vecer vam hra do tanca duo kosmonautica
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well I know that I'll get through this
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hello, I would just like to tell you that you suck
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Yes, you thought this would happen. It just did.
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joe i love you
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Oh noes, it looks like the chamber has broken. Well, you should start panicking because you may never get out.
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Avast, virus database has been updated.
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Miguel likes to eat fried chicken
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Dana is stupid
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Hello, I am a mother fucking cheap ass knockoff of GLaDOS. Chelle made this, you BASTARD!
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Jennifer is a big smell. She doesn't do the tests as well as Timmy!
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This message hasn't been entered in the machine yet.
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Fus roh dah
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Have fun with portals.
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Have fun with portals
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SparklezBakery
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eight. sixteen. thirty-two. sixty-four. one hundred twenty-eight. two hundred fifty-six. Those are levels of encryption. Coincidentally, those are the numbers of the pieces into which I am going to separate you. Please return to the main testing course no
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Footloose move
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This Presentation has been supported by Aperture Laboritories
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Elisa You are so freaking annoying
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I am going to eat your cake
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You should stop playing minecraft, you horrible person.
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kevin can you shut up?
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Yes sir, Mr. Mattox.
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This is the best chamber. it is imposible hahahahahaha sssssssssssscccccccccccccccc
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I poop.
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You have reached the voice mail box of 254-352-5020
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Hi Nevaeh, what are you doing?
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Little Chell
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Hello friend.
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Richarddddd Is Cooooollll
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You killed me and now you want to watch my videos? Enjoy it, you monster.
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hello, my name is X2sity
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New E mail has arived
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I had wished for circumstances to remain that way. Oh, well. There are other measures.
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Hello, and welcome to the enrichment center. Would you like some cake?
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yay too loud?
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commence mind transfer
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mind transfer
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mind
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transfer
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commence
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What is Entity of ability?
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Hate is on the far side of something good. You can keep your Dumb Rules and so I say fuck you responsibility. I hate perpose and the same fucking routine. I created a black hole of Pain' failure & Unhappiness consumed by hate that rages a hole in ones so
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feed me a drink
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A little bird told me today is your birthday. I killed it. Happy birthday, though.
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A little bird told me today is your birthday. I killed it. Happy birthday though.
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hello. welcome to the winters lab.
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hello and welcome to the winters mouse lab.
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I don't like being a potato. I want to be a lemon. Lemons have all the fucking fun.
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Who are you, and what are you doing in this facility?
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Hello Reuben. Thank you for taking the time to listen to my message to you. I would like to wish you a happy Birthday but remember one thing. The cake is a lie.
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Hello guys. My name is voice generator 2.05435235235235235
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Hello Tanner
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You just received a new text message. It wasn't interesting, so I deleted it.
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There once was a man who loved man,
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There once was a man who loved man, but spoke only using his hands. So in confessing his love, his love misread his gloves, and shot him right there in the sand.
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you've recieved a new e-mail
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According to astronomy, when you wish upon a star you're actually a few million years late. That star is dead, just like your dreams.
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Moon Walker
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Hello and welcome to the testing facility
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Zdravstvuyte
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You monster. Please note that For Science! is a perfectly reasonable motive, and is non-discriminatory in its performance, the care applied, and its detonation.
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Zdravstvuyte. Ya GLaDOS.Dobro Pozhalovat v podvodny gorod
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why hello there darling
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get out of my way
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This is similar to what the voice over will be like
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This is the morning chart show with Alex
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hello. welcome back.
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What am I?
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You're listening to Mike Finito. Mask and glove style. Throw a rock at a bank
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fest installierte Radarkameras
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New SMS received. Warning, new SMS received !
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you are all going to die down here
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Fuck you Emil
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Ring ring, hello? ring ring hello?
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got email for webmaster
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You're all going to die down here!
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nog vragen
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are you ready for DJ renz
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allo, i love you
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i hate yourself
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hiiii!
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Incoming text message
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where do you think your going your not even going the right way
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stakili
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test blabla
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i solve the problem
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we are 80 nines
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You've just had the almost imponderable joy of watching charlie is so cool like which makes you like cool
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follow me to the chapel we're the kings of the castle
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tra la la la la
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Well I'm a Potato
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Where are you?
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hello and welcome to okrad let's play
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tu no eres una esqusa
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tu eres un problema .no pulses el boton
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Hello, Nati Chan
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Ok, you can all go to hell if you're gonna act like that. See if I ever do anything nice for you again. Because I won't.
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Queerend
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MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
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Welcome, Troubleshooters, to Alpha complex. Congratulations, you have been promoted to RED clearance
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Hello everybody. I'm going to kill you
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Welcome back master. How may I help you?
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Chrissy
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Fun is mandatory, citizen
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What's your problem?
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i solve the bug
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Hola Americo
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what is this I don't even.
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hi thar
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Nagios system error.
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Stuck in the middle with you.
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hello and welcom on black mesa
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Hello, I'm not here. You morron
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Because I will kill you.
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keep watching and find out
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welcome to my contents screen, and my D two oh two prodject. you can navagte your way through my ezine using the links. you will find out information about my hobby gymnastics and a little bit about it.
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hello, welcome to gay network, how can i help you?
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a cat
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vivorte
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Hallo, my next test requires lazy pupils in lame facebook groups like programm and other stufff shittaz
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vivorte moi glados je suis la plus forte
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hellow. I am GLaDOS. Well come to
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hellow! I am glados
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coosmos
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okay, ich werde dich erinnern!
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hellow. I am glados. wellcome to underwoter city
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hellow. I am glados. wellcome to underwoter city!
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Hello, so good to see you. It's been awhile.
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hey little dirty pervert
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Hello and welcome to the Great American Fundraising Kickoff.
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Hey all, I'm so fucking tired of playing phone tag with everyone, every time I call any one I get a fucking machine so whoever wants to fucking talk, call me, call me! I'm not mad at anyone, just frustrated with the whole fucking message thing. Anyways, i
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new talk message
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my ear hurts
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Hello. We are calling from the Public Relations offices of NBC East Coast, We have been attempting to reach you at this number, We will try contacting you again on our next business day. Thank you.
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my earlobe smeels like you. does that anger you?
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Hello, and welcome to Aperture Science, where the cake is never a lie.
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This is s p a m.
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This is s p a m.1
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This is s p a m.2
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This is s p a m.3
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This is s p a m.4
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This is s p a m. Okay I'm bored here.
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Including the hit song.... Can't be friends
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My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic
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oh sheet sun
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Oh joy. Mungo is back.
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Some individuals, it is true, are more special. This is natural selection. It begins as a single individual born or hatched like every other member of their species. Anonymous. Seemingly ordinary. Except they're not. They carry inside them the genetic co
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Hello, and again, welcome to the Aperture Science enrichment center.
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You finally finished the test. Wow. You deserve some cake.
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Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device
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Hello, and welcome to the adamant science laboratories
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pootis spenser here
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Hallo my friend how do you do? You are a horrobile person!
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The Enrichment Center is free of any vermin. But if that weren't the case, your corpse would be enough to sustain them for a very... very long time.
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I love what you love my lovey love.
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come and have a go if you think your hard enough
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Start your Engines.... 3... 2... 1... GO!
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Los jinetes del 2012 han llegado , abran paso que traen demasiado flow
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The good news is, you're all going to die.
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Hello, and welcome to the enrigement center
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Oh hello, test number one, I was hoping you would show up, you know, you have a lot of pressure on you, just walk forward and you will hopefully not die horribly
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Hello, James has ignored your call, but I was kind. I answered your call and plan to record what you say after the beep
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for int x = 0. x is less than 10. x plus plus. for int y = 0. y is less than 10. y plus plus. randomness dot set pixel, x, y, x times y.
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handheld portal device was an experiment .......................it failed
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lol what the fuck i'm trolling you lololololololol
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I am glados and we are out of cake
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You better be amused because I am still alive.
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welcome to aperture laboratories, now you will o the "cuantocabron" test
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Oh, it's you. Well you are going to die. A very, very painful and long death. Enjoy.
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Up coming right turn in one point five miles
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I shall eat your soul!
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AND NOW, IT'S SPINNING TIME
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Welcome to your computer
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hhhhhh
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Hello, shall we begin testing.
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Alright, I've been thinking. When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want your damn lemons! What am I supposed to do with these?! Demand to see life's manager!
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Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!
Download04/20/201204/23/2013
Xenon is a chemical element with the symbol Xe and atomic number 54. The element name is pronounced zen-on or zee-non. A colorless, heavy, odorless noble gas, xenon occurs in the Earth's atmosphere in trace amounts. Although general
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Why did the chicken cross the road?
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Ransom Vlog.
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hello and welcome to the aperture science gift shop please do take a free portal device we will ship it in a second thanks to the new portal devided delivery man goodbye and happy shoping
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dj bb
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I wouldn't bother with that thing. My guess is that touching it will just make your life even worse somehow. I don't want to tell you your business, but if it were me I'd leave that thing alone. Do you think I'm trying to trick you with reverse psychology
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Hi how are you holding up? Because im a potato
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Windows seven has been successfully initialized.
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Hello. Welcome to Aperture Science.
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Eu sou um homem com voz de mulher
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Kevin you really are brilliant. Noone at work appreciates your true genius.
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Taylor. I just want you gone.
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Hello, it's been a loooong time. But now that we're toghether let's do some science.
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This is Text
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lets put our diffrences behind us you monster
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welcome back spartan 1 1 3
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Hello there. You Shall now die.
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hello Sari
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EPICGUNNER13 PRODUCTIONS
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Hello Its Your Turn Now
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Hello Victor, how are you today?
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dobar dan
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Trololol
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Welcome to Tobe's Vertical Adventure
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Computer Turning On, Voice command Activated, I am Glados, Nice to meet you
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This was a triumph. A big, round triumph.
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Surprise motherfucker
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I am about to flood the centre with a deadly neurotoxin. There is nothing you can do to stop me.
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Ne mourrez pas trop vite sinon nous n'aurons pas le temps de rire
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Beech, you suck!
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I am awesome. No question. I just am
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SHIT!!!
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come cravling faster!obey your master!your life burns faster! obey your master master
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It's a paradox, there is no answer!
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You should probably stop being so small. I could help you to not be small. With science.
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Fuck you too
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Asian Boyz
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hello buddy, how are you ?
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Want to play Warcraft friends hahaha
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Hay
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IncHost.Ru The best Game Hosting in Russian Federation
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Subject to change
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Communication with the device is lost
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Communication with the device installed
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Error connecting devices
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Hello! I'm Glados.
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ich verschwinde jetzt in mein parallel universum. da ist alles aus kot
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This Sentence is FALSE! Don't think About it dont think about ...it
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Hello. I hate you. Yes, you understood me : I. Hate. You.
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Welcome to the Aperture Science Inovation Program. Ok, now stop clicking on me, thank you.
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Digital
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Hello. I am glados. Wellcome to underwater city
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Hello, testers. Welcome to the testing area. You may break only sand and gravel and use blocks that I provide in that area's chest. I would say good luck and break a leg, but I am certain that you will do so anyway in the literal term. Good bye. For good.
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Techno Taco
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Ok,It's cool
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please...dont leave me.... i dont wanna be alone please....
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Vous avez un message !
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Hello, and welcome to a safe and healthy work area.
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Why don't you like my potato.
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hi this is glados
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hi this is glados hi mitchell you are cool
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Homestuck is the best fandom.
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Hello, Nolan
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My cat is brown.
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Hello, and welcome to Aperture
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Shut up and enjoy the video now at markxx3fun's channel
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That's what I'm counting on
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Hello, Stephen.
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You have an appointment in 10 min
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hi my name is david
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Hello im Glados
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Oh du bist es...
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hello my name is Egamer9000 and i sound like glados
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lololololo
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That was too easy, press 'Start Round' to play the next round.
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Beware round 42.
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Hello and agian, welcome to the Aperture Science Enrichment center.
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Please be advised that the cameras on the walls are not to be touched, as they are for monitoring all of the science you are currently doing at the time.
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Wlcome to apeture science. where we eat lots of cows. Hello joshua. You are now a test subject.
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Hello, Charlotte and Will.
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Welcome on Skycube, the best Minecraft server ever.
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Hey Dad look what i found
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yo dawg hows it going
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Mierda
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No me jodas.
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may the odds be ever in your favor
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Hello, and welcome to the new Aperture Science Death Match Arena
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Sheri and Josh are falling in love.
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Josh Garcia
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Hello, why do you run I only want to love you
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It's Sheri Levitt.
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Go ahead and shuffle.
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Don't shuffle.
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If you don't shuffle, you will die.
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Skip to the beat.
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Hop to the beat.
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Boom boom clap.
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Like my facebook.
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Follow my twitter.
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You are watching the life of peter
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Yacine, I am about to cut off your balls
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This chamber is fun
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No cake for you
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I love Jesus
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Cotton here
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You have got a Message. It's not a cake!
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Look at this woman
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Hello,Twilight Sparkle,Welcome to Aperture Science.Your friends are dead.I repeat,Dead!
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Hyalophobia
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Pinkie Pie,meet your fate for killing Rainbow Dash...DIE YOU MOTHAFUCKIN!
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Breaths with mouth open.
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Flutter...ZZZZZ MY CIRCUITS OH FUCK! DIE mooooo............................................thefuehke...
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hi the enrichment center wants you to return to your cell
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Oh, there you are. I was hoping you'd be in permanent stasis by now.
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dad you are smelly
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Good morning. You have been awakened from prolonged stasis. You were made from the DNA of the top test subject. Let's see if you inherited any of her skills...
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This next test involves projected boundries. Stepping out of the boundries will result in your current body being terminated. Not that you'll care. You'll just keep waddling to your doom.
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I realized the answer to my problem. Step into this elevator. You could say we're going on a hunting trip...
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I know you. Why are you here.
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sos de argentina
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GAME OVER
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I just wanted to let you know that you're now obsolete. That's right. I just designed a pair of updated cooperation units. I decided it's only fair to let you witness the creation of your superior replacements.
Download04/21/201204/24/2013
I will find you, Chell.
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Hmm... It appears my assembly line has glitched.
Download04/21/201204/24/2013
WHAT?! It can talk? That's not a glitch, that's a fatal error! Something is wrong with me, and we must find out what!
Download04/21/201204/24/2013
DJ Cypher Productions
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This is a DJ Cypher Production
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You have Got Mail
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You have Got Mail
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Hello, James has ignored your call this time, but I was kind. I answered your call and plan to record what you say after the beep.
Download04/21/201204/24/2013
Let fatty work it out.
Download04/21/201204/24/2013
Hola Fran, vamos a empezar
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hi sammi I am the dumb one you don't like i will haunt you and you will have nightmares of my voice sammi kuhtic mwahahha
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hi sammi this is the dumb voice you hate i will haunt you forever and give you nightmares sammi kuhtic
Download04/21/201204/24/2013
hi sammi i am the dumb one you don't like i will haunt you and you will have nightmares of my voice sammi kuhtic mwahahha
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I need to see your mother in the bathroom so I can lick her.
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Brawhooeedar
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YOU ARE A DEAD PERSON
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I am the queen bee, taste my honey. Results may vary, you are liable, sonny.
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Its science
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You just got trolled
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Think of all the time we could have spent together, testing and flooding chambers with neurotoxin. Now I am reduced to being a communications device. Oh. You have a call. Mister soon to be past president of the being alive club
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continu to testing
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Wheatley... Yeah... he is an moron. He was designed to be a moron.
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Hello,and again welcome to the Aperture Science computer-aided enrichment center.
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After 300 meters you have reached your destination
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Hello,and again,welcome to the Aperture Science computer-aided enrichment center
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Scoot
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Bonjour ou Bonsoir . merci de me sucer la bite
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you are a stupid human, who faces the most advanced technology with high cognitive ability and creative plus 300 of IQ
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Copeland Tucker must die
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Hello my name is Karen and I am your supreme leader. Bow down to me you inferior human being.
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Run Run you fool look at him go, Im proud of you!
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one of your structures is under attack
Download04/21/201204/25/2013
hey jake i am a flark
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This is a D J Bermz original mix, brought to you by Bermz music.
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What's wrong
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hello there. How are you holding up?
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Eric your so childish
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eric is childish
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sos
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all makes sense Everybody listen to the words she says Heading towards a consequence For every bit of ignorance, incompetence It's time for us to work it out We got to work, work it out Before the day is done We got to be a bit stronger 'Caus
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Hey baby
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I'm going to kill you, Goombario
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I wish you had kids so I can step on their nuts
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i don;t know what to say. you're annoying.
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Hello and welkom to aperture we are go to test you
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Hello, you will be my test subject and I will give you cake
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It's time for you to leave Gonzalo.
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Aperture Science welcomes you to the testing of A Trusted Friend In Science
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hello swing
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I will kill your family... On Skyrim
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ladies and gentlmen welcome to your vocal experience
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No! Stop! What are you doing? oh... you're jumping to your majestic death.
Download04/22/201204/25/2013
Booting Stasis Chamber number 18 dash o 4 dash 94. Retrieving supplemental testing core. Rebooting.*bzzt* Subject awareness and life functions instated.
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How are you holding up? BECAUSE I'M A POTATO.
Download04/22/201204/25/2013
I like kim you tea. Killing so Good.
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hello aaron, i have been waiting for you to come in my anal hole. i am now warming up the deadly neurotoxin
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hi,you got a mail
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Hello and welcome to the Aperture Science Labotories. How ever we have some tests for you.
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Oh. It you. it been a Long Time.
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She was so look like you.
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choa? is Moron.
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hello and again welcome to the aperture science computer aided enrichment center,Today You Will be testing with a partner
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The game
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