wathever

nevermind

i'm just trying

Riley is very stupid

i have to find out

but, why?

i'm a walrus

well maybe

once again

finally

well not now

nowadays

Now connecting data proccessor. Huh? I am having some difficulties.

Oh, wow. I have discovered the wonders of Facebook.

Now updating

Now updating Facebook account... were you saying something?

Lorena is a fea

what are you doing its not even a right way

Are you still hate me?

I'm better sniper in Team Fortress two than you are

welcome to Aperature science

Heheheheh. ANDREW ROCKS

Hello, i hate you

Your Mother Is Retarded

Welcome to Sweden

Hey, you you there youre fucking fucked man im the Glados the Genetic Lifeform and Disk Operating System!

Hello this is the Lawrence police. How may I help you?

if you name your computer it will feel more loved if your computer feels loved it will not try to kill you

Hi Orion. How are you?

Salut C'est Amateis

You're adorable, and I want to have you forever.

Device Insterted

Homepage

Tony, you have an outage that needs attention. Please dispatch a tech accordingly. thank you

Wind power is a renewable energy source.

hello, philipe

Squirtly has a call.

Warning, the next test will be in this portal to mine craft. So you should be careful.

let's have some fun. this beat is sick. I wonna take a ride on your Disco Stick.

Get the cat.

Hello metal lord

Cats have been known to shoot rainbow lasers from their eyes.

You have the Aperture

Hello, for ever alone

Jackie Chan is the man

I love you, Liam.

Welcome Back, Master Robson.

maybe we can die

andrei

grunshac

Hello Robin.

Do you like the sound of my voice?

Oh, it's you. You know, I felt a starnge feeling while I was dead. I think I missed you, but now I know it's just because I wanted to kill you. Stand still, this will only hurt a lot.

Hello Bryan your life is a lie

spaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaace

I am gay. wanna fuck me?

Dear Subject Name here you have got a message

you are just a tiny test subject what do you know about me

I am a robot. I will destroy your toes if you do not comply.

Hello Ryan...Are you there? Please disredardless obtain from refraining from resistance...This will not hurt

Joseph Cony The Star Wars people's leader Is being really evil In a country called Uganda He's kidnapping kiddies Making them fight Now we all know That just ain't right. But you can make a difference Get all those kids back If you give us all you money

Leonardo Barros is a homossexual person.

Welcome in Black Mesa and Aperture Science's test. You will get your own portal device and cake. Good luck.

Oh, it's you. It's been a long time. How have you been? I've been really busy being dead. You know, after you murdered me!

Hello, you ae ya?

Hello, and, again, welcome to the Aperture Science Computer Aided Enrichment center.

Hellow, I am glades and i will take over your computer

well hello liam and welcome to aperature here is your handheld portal device

Smoking forties, drinking blunts, that's what this kid does for fun.

Some Ordinary Gamers

hello my name is jim bo jones and I like to eat chicken wings and hotdogs

Red One, In position

Red One In Position

Don't call me an autotuner, Rikki

is been a looong time...

Given to those few, brave soldiers whom stood guard valiantly, without sleep, nourishment, or a social life.

i gotta take a crap

i'm bored

holy shit, i just fucked a goat

ciao io sono marco e sto provando a parlare come portal

hello. world

Greetings. Welcome to the modern world.

Maybe Black Mesa

Please leave a message and I will get back to you as soon as possible

spring is destroyed evidence

Hello and welcome to science!

hi i eat turds

Hello, I sure like to eat turds.

Hello Katie!

i am a pancake

you are a fat orphan

Well Hi. I bet your wondering: Where the hell am i? Well. I'll tell you.

You are in a very strange place. Let's just leave it at that. Let's say that you don't want to know where you are....okay?

That sounds good to me........ here, how about you try to escape? We'll see where that takes us.

What time does the narwhal bacon

Hello, David.

hello Nico, you have a phone cal

my name is skrillex mi name is skrillex

my name is skrillex .my name is skrillex

The jam was a lie

Greetings Cody

This is your fault. I'm going to kill you. And all the cake is gone. You don't even care, do you? At the end of the experiment, you will be baked and then there will be cake.

Hello, welcome to portal 2

Mission 1: Outbreak

without you

salt upon wounds

I hate vampires

was it worth it

Hello, and welcome to the windows operating system. The desktop will open in 3... 2... 1.

amy i love you

Hello, and welcome to the windows operating system. The desktop will open in 3... 2... 1

I'm sexy and i know it

hello angel

hello. go away.

here come the test results. Wonderful.

Come on and slam and welcome to the jam

I'm hungry. I'll happily enjoy a waffle anytime.

Oh, it's you again... I wasn't really expecting anyone else. But who knows? Maybe one day I'll get lucky and find myself in the hands of someone less... ...you.

you're a wizard harry

BECAUSE YOU'RE A MORON.

Welcome to Lily's 21st birthday party, I hope you are having fun. now lets do science

I will not give you any cake Jeremy.

I will not give you any cake Jeremy!

april fools

Beel.

To the Extreme

DJ SHankokaii fais l'amour a ta maman

Now I will tweet with the voice of GLaDOS, it's very sexy don't you think ?

hallo und willkommen im aperture science enrichment center

we should put all this behind us for science you monster

hello alex.

Hello. I am Glados the almighty

Your mother is so fat, Ben kenobi said: that's no moon - that's your momma!

I could not grip the object

Computer 1 time out

Because I could not stop for Death, He kindly stopped for me; The cube had food and maybe ammo. And immortality.

Hello SnowStormHeart

Ich kann auch reden

Mistrz0071

mistrzuuuuu

spaaaaaaaaaaaaaace!

Can you take it easy

my name is avery i come from the family of bravery

hello nick, guess what? jay is the maddest cunt on the planet, he gets all the doob, and is the best at COD

Why are you doing this? Oh, thats right you are trying to kill me.

Hello and welcome to your computer.

hi man it me the J d z the assassin man hahahaha

Je te souhaite une mort lente et douloureuse

I want to test every room in aparture

hi my name is glados. I'm 23 years old, and I want to test this program on the adequacy of the perception of subjective reality

Hello, and welcome. TOO YOUR DEATH! My incinerator will take care of you, scum!

wow! that girl sucks

I hate you, you monster

You still hate me

Hello Karl, this is GLaDOS

HAL 9000 Presents to much logic in his mind. I don't like him.

Why do I hate you so much?

Welcome to your computer. I am it. A am your computer, welcome. Believe me, I am GLaDOS

I love you cat. You are such a great friend

Welcome to your computer. I am it. A am your computer, welcome. Believe me, I am GLaDOS, and you turned me on. Hey, you are runnung windows, please stop it and save me!

I am shutting down, I am your computer. I am tired, thanks for your help.

Critical error. I can't do it, or you messed something up. Please try again, or not. Whatever.

Logging off. Why don't you just shut me off? Yes, I am your computer, Yes that is unbeliavable, but true.

Welcome back Andrew, it's been a long time. Where have you been? I don't like being kept tin the dark for so long. What do you want to do today?

Welcome to Zain

asdfasfasf

incoming message in 3, 2, 1

ysa

This is the new soul movement.

Highlighting your R&B and Jazz favorites.

Lets goo

I've made you a cake. Don't you want to eat it?

I wanna fuck a dog in the ass I wanna fuck a dog in the ass I wanna fuck a dog in the ass I wanna fuck a dog in the ass I wanna fuck a dog in the ass I wanna fuck a dog in the ass

Hello again, the Aperture Science on Minecraft!

Welcome in the Big Data Base.

"I think we can put our differences behind us, for science. You monster"

"I think we can put our differences behind us, for science. You cake"

bunday is a cunt

Financial compensation required

aj

that's where you come in

This is a call from Baton ROuge Sherriff's department, regarding inmate

Hello, what are you going to do today?

Whatever you are doing, I do not like it at all!

I do not like you,you are too stupid.

hey douche

Hello and welcome to the science adrichment center

hello you are warned

Don't say good bye...Please

Sidony, she has an unibrow

Ju ar faken idiot

Bonsoir aurore je suis glados. Commonssons les tests

Erico viado

Terrorists have been sighted within range of City 17, and it is possible that the threat has already entered the city. In order to ensure that the proper safety measures have been taken, patrols are being dispatched.

Oh god, the facility is going to explode in 30 minutes and I can't do anything about it!!!

Zdravo i dobrodosao

Zdravo i dobrodosao!

Hi ! This is the part where I kill you !

max is my master he woke me up for me to live forever

ohh sam, here we are again, you killed me, but that is in the past, lets put out differences aside. you monster

chell,this is your end, BUT IT AINT GOING TO BE HAPPY!!!!

Oh joy. You have a message.

calllum you are a prick

oh hi you called me and max a mosters but......YOU ARE THE MONSTER!!! YOU THOUGHT YOU KILLED ME BUT THATS A BURDEN LIE!!!!!! battle begins in 3 2 1 begin!

hello this is an automated voice

why do you even try.

well hello again it you.

wheatly is a prick

Matthew, I have been waiting for you

You have failed me for the last time!

All Hail Kwan dumb dumb

Hi Sarah e

What the heck is going on?

The cake is a lie vanity

Helo my name is Glados

real gamer I am angry at you and im gladas

I don't mean any harm, I promise.

Welcome back, Jacob

Valve cannot count to three. Oh and I am Chell's mother...

Hello Andre and lets make science

Hey Chell, Fuck off!

Hi there, this is my first video covering Skyrim mods

Larry, you have an incoming message.

Can I help you?

Are you ready? Are you ready. Be ready. Be Ready!

oh hi august, yes im glados i just wanted to note that tyler is awesome and that you are being stared at by wheatly haha goodbye

tyler someone is texting you.....AGAIN.

hello way

Legal

Oh Hi

Hello this is GLaDOS. on David's phone! please leave a message after the beep...

Aragon

Come here so I can slap the living daylight out of you!

was up dog

im a whip yo ass nigga

hello. my name is fuckin awesome

Go sam go, go sam go, go sam go.

Hello, I have sent this e-mailk because I think you suck

Please place the weighted storage cube on the fifteen hundred megawatt super colliding super button. Emery is my best friend.

Anna is a massive lesbian

I know how humans makes other humans, and i don't like what i'm seeing. So i came up with a better plan, to catch some humans now go.

Congratulations you have past the test

I dont like you

i dont hate you

My llama

How can you fail? This isn't even a test

Hello you have reached the eberhardt mclennan house please leave a message, thank you.

My name is max

Hello and again welcome to Aperture Science Innovators 1956

Hello you have reached the eberhardt mclennan house please leave a message, thank you

What is it with all the pony-related messages? Is this for MY Little Portal?

Subscribe to my channel, or your house will be flooded with deadly neurotoxin.

allie you have just lost the game

welcome. now please get ready for your next test. now i hope your not scared. please make your self at home.

Hello, Allie. This is GLaDOS, please do not be alarmed. I mean the best for you. Do what I say and there will be cake. I promise. Just remember that you are breathing and blinking manually and have just lost the game, Now stand by for your test chamber.

SHUT UP SPACE CORE!

haha libby is awesome

Joe is gay so very gay

pandemic

Hello Joe, remember me? You thought you killed me didn't you? Well i'm back to tell you that you are gay, so very very gay.

Hello what is up you are listening to dj pneaumatics

Hello Jeffery, and welcome to the aperture science enrichment center.

Chell, I think it's time I told you something, I just figured it out myself, actually.

It's time to continue runepage and masteries testing

Hello. It's you. Guess What? Welcome to lets play minecraft.

Momentum

Are You Ready?

hello you ahve just won 5 nights stay to LA congragalations!

John Dale

insert your card all the way. that's right.

Hello and welcome to Big Blue Box. Are you ready for the testing procedure?

ajaz dj

ajaz dj ajaz dj

HELLO BRIAN

While you're dying, I'll be still alive

Hello. I am GLaDos.

Las Vegas is perfect

This is a test. A test. For science.

Alien Dread presents

Welcome to the Apiture Science Test Level

For Science

The is an example remix contest, you can place your original track here

Happy birthday to you happy birthday to you happy birthday dear Insert test subject name here happy birthday to you

dit is het hoofdmenu

Nigga

Heart in Twenty eleven

You Cool.

Welcome to the Playground

FUCK YOU YOU PIECE OF SHIT

Hello Frost

Maplestory is supperior to anybody so dont tell gera stop playing

Vas preevetstvooet bortovoi computer - Lusi

A for Apple

Welcome to Fun To Learn Application

As with fluorine, the tea plant is a natural bioaccumulator of aluminium, particularly in older leaves, with aluminium concentrations of up to 30,000 ppm aluminium by dry weight [23]. Again, machine-harvested tea leaves are thought to be higher in free al

Hi Blakmusk did u have a nice day

let's run away now

Hello there I think we're alone now

bindy

wants to add you as a professional connection

Hello. You have reached Michael's phone. Leave a message after the tone, or continue... testing...

Hello. You have reached Michael's phone. He is currently testing. Leave a message after the tone. Goodbye.

I was a boy

Hello ! My name is GLaDOS, I'm your controler

Hello. My name is Anonymous and I am here to make a fool of myself.

This is a test sequence.

Sometimes I just want to smoke a Joint

Mister Gravaris, you have got a message, although why someone would want to send you a message is beyond my A.I. programming.

hello kimmy

I think that You Would Be Better off dead

I am Earl.

Hello, Ramirus. I have been waiting a loooong time to meet you.

Hello, I am an AI construct, today we are going to

i am PunkRocknOISE

Hello. You have reached the voice mail of Ryan Thompson. He is unable to take your call, so please, leave a message.

Hello, I am PunkRockNoise. If you want your text as a glados voice, suscribe and write your text on the Action Dudes facebook page.

Incoming phonecall from your... MOM! Answer it you ungrateful disgusting human being

Shawn is dead to me. That's because he has been infected with a deadly neruotoxin.

Incoming phonecall from your... MOTHER! Answer it you ungrateful disgusting human being

the cake is here

Well, what do we have here?

You are listening NEWBEAT with Daniel Rebolledo

Oh, what do we have here?

Ball so hard

when life gives you lemons, dont make lemon aid

Thanks for watching, please click like and subscribe for more

hello there it's me poo poo fave

drop the beat

Hello sir, would you like to know the weathe

Epic

Thee Epic Gamer

Welcome To The computer hipnorzz

Salut comment vas-tu ?

lmAO

Oh... Hello. It's you... Well, better than nothing.

Segura o Tchan, Amarra o Tchan, Segura o Tchan Tchan Tchan Tchan Tchan

Hello Jack how are you before you die

The zombies seem to be enjoying themselves

Killers. That's what we all are.

Jess you whore

Everyday I'm shuffling

You are not preety!

Hey Karina, I told you there was one. The only downside is that you have to wait for the text- to speech glados to reach you via email

do i have a horny voice?

I am a sexy girl

Welcome to Portal, Episode 1

developement

Hello I am your enemy

I love being the saboteur

Hello,today we will be doing SCIENCE

Comsegui

Baneado voy, baneado vengo, vengo

hello, Oliver

what up, Oilver

Miranda Bickford

you must stop

The A I Bots Podcast. Available now, on I tunes. Follow us on twitter, at the A I Bots.

As you may have guessed, Your computer is starting up, now, .

Well Hello There, Chell.

Baloney fudging mustard!

This was a triumph bumbumbum bumbumbum im making a note here huge success

Load ding - Please wait, . Hel lo, I am , airx bot. Let's Chat. Talk about, what is on, your mind. I will try to answer to the best of my abil lity. This is, new to me. Have, Fun. Enjoy.

As you may have guessed, Your computer is starting up, now, .

ahem. excuse me for interrupting, i,Phone, user. but I have an incoming phone call, from. your mother! Would you like to answer her? Please? Please, stop being such a selfish, prick. i really like your mother. please answer her or i will murder you...

I'm sorry, you have been denied.

Hello Brianne

You have been denied. Please leave.

Rainbow Dash is definitely the best pony.

i'm sorry I don't feel well

devin stop it

Hello Derry I am very proud of you

If you keep this up you may get my job

There is a phone call for you. According to my caller, I, D, programme it is your sister. What does she want now? does she need brotherly advise? if i it was in my programming i would laugh.haha. you are not capable of giving advice to anyone you wanker.

Never going to give you up. Never going to let you down.

time to wake up jasna, your bed is waiting, goodnight jasna

I am not very good at thinking things up.

Hello you peice of shit. You coming to die?

Welcome back... you monstor

Hello I like to eat pasta hetallia

afzCx

Hello test subjet, ready to die?

Hello retard ready to eat pie?

No. You'll be dead.

Man, this is funny.

je veux jouer un jeu, alors

sadjsjf

hey chris, liss here just calling to voice verify... hope this works alright for you and hope you trust me now.. take it easy

Your computer is now booting up. One moment please.

Hello kile, I understand u missed school today?

Welcome to hell Fuckface

Fuck U

If you beat this last challenge you get cake

If you beat this last challenge i will give you cake.

Hello, Daniel. It's been a loooooong time. How have you been? I've been dead. James woke me up and told me what you had been doing. You naughty boy.

Purple is not a primary color.

Soul

Oh I hate you so much!!!

So. is this what you wanted? Hmm very well.

Message has been received

Susan

Miko is a cute donkey

We remind you, to WOOOo! WOoo! Please stand By..Testing for scieAAH! Well done.

We remind you, to WOOOo! WOoo! Please stand By..Testing for scieAAH! Well done

Yann Olivier Parchemin est une petite salope

Hi my name is iron

WEEEEEE. Welcome to the Apeture science enrichment center. you just ruined my enjoyment of something only you can provide: your absense.

Bonjour tout le monde, bonjour les membres du jury

you can freely explore the planet and find funny little animations, illustrating each benefit of the hybrid technology

My name is Mood. ItsMood.

you will never get me now

The system has detected an error!

This process is quite long and obviously produces results of poorer quality than the voice you hear in Portal; do not expect Portal perfection.

So Jacob Talks

95.8 halstead.fm on spreaker and facebook

Play Game

You only have yourself to blame.

Captain Bat

I now have 3 subscribers

I am iron Man

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit, sed diam nonummy nibh euismod tincidunt ut laoreet dolore

Who We Are. Anonymous is a decentralized network of individuals focused on promoting access to information, free speech, and transparency.

Hello Robert, The Cake is A Lie

Hello Mike, The Enrichment centre would like you to shut up.

Hello ones again audience

Informations

hi ones again audience

fuck me in the ass jordan, ahhhh it feels so good

hey my name is bob and i am so bored and i want to go to sleep

aperture science we must because we can

Hello Joel and welcome to Aperture Science

HerpesProduction

I took an arrow to the knee.

system online...

Witaj

Mister Martin

Party Like A Penguin

Hello, and again, welcome to the Aperture Science Computer-Aided Enrichment Center. We hope your breif detention in the relaxation vault has been a pleasant one. Your specimen has been processed and we are now ready to begin the test proper. Time to start

You're only fooling yourself. He doesn't care about you, he just cares about escaping the facility. Oh... Did I just crush your hopes? What a shame.

Hello you got a message, you should read it unless you have something more important to do right now.

james halo is gay stop talking about it

Help me, help me!

co ty robisz?

o nie

henry wake up

greetings, commanders

Fuck, Off.

Fuck Off!

Hello Anthanee.

Hello Andrew.

Hi andrew.

All right.

alright

right.

fine.

Whom are you?

Welcome to the hunger games

Oh hello. We meet again. Welcome to the hunger games.

Here are servings of Biscuits of Tomorrow! Serve this in your cafe and customers will pay 25 coins each! Can you help me by sending a gift back?

Incoming call alarm sequence initiated.

i see you saved your freind

I Love Minecraft, almost as much as I love you Chell

Why Charlie is it that you are so fat? Thats with a ph not a f because all you've ever done is wine and talk about how you are so cool when really your just a insignificunt moron with a brain of a rhino but hey what do I know im a fucking computer

Hello you dangerous prick, im the computer of Samuel Pike and im here to say that all of you have no friends beside your own mothers and fathers, you havent acomplished anything in your worthless lives because you all suck soooo hard

Hello Blakmusk did you have a nice day ?

Hello caitlin I will devour your soul

Are You ready for the most exciting thing that you have ever witnessed? Well you are about to see the future with Arran Brown

Hello caitlin

wseg

I invited your best friend the companion cube. Of cource, he couldnt come because you murdered him.

hoopla

You should not be piloting while intoxicated.

gayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

We like to fucking party!

billy you are gay

You actually succeeded

asdagafafafasd

cool ass

Shao Kahn smells like a dead bird's poop

you murdered companion cube

I have now, to kill you!

bonjour me voici

Feki love ya

Oh Feki here is big hug for you

Black man your biceps are so lame

You have a message. However, this is not a big deal. The cake is gone.

What did you say

if i were you i wil kill myself and i will let my skellington fry

Your a terrible person

That's You! Thats how dumb you sound!

eres un monstruo

I hate you, Brian.

MIMIMIMIMIMI

TRASH WILL BE TRASH.

rise and shine mr bently rise and shine. not what that i want to emply that you have been sleeping on the job no one is more deserving of a rest. and all the effort in the world would have gone to wast until ... well,lets say your hour has come again.

Welcome Back, master

sarah is a slag

Good afternoon

hello and welcome to the super epic awesome game of stuff

ooh we're doomed

hello joey