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MessageDownloadDate addedDate processed
hello how are you i am fine thank you for asking!
Download03/24/201203/21/2013
hello how are you i am fine thank you for asking good bye
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If you are hearing this pre-recorded message, you have taken and-or stolen Test Subject C R Wilkie's device. Return it to them, or it will self destruct in 5...4...3...2...1...
Download03/24/201203/21/2013
If you are hearing this pre-recorded message, you have stolen, and/or taken, Test Subject C R Wilkie's device. Return the device, or it shall self-destruct in 5...4...3...2...1
Download03/24/201203/21/2013
Is not this the fast that I choose: to loose the bonds of wickedness, to undo the straps of the yoke, to let the oppressed go free, and to break every yoke? Is it not to share your bread with the hungry and bring the homeless poo
Download03/24/201203/21/2013
Hello, Paige. Your Weighted Companion Cube will arrive, when you assume the Weighted Companion Cube collection position. To assume the Weighted Companion Cube collection position, lie on your back and place your arms by your sides.
Download03/24/201203/21/2013
Hello Stewart. This is GLaDOS. Have you found your device, yet? If you haven't, try looking to your left. Was it there? I didn't think so.
Download03/24/201203/21/2013
This is Meh-ah-DOS. I have been transformed into a GLaDOS-like form by the "creative genius" of the idiots at SEGA. You are watching A Step Through The 4th Wall. Please excuse me while I go blast Son-ell with my Chaos Spear.
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Adressing: Shadow as Wheat-Doh, Sonic as Son-ell, Silver as the Weighted Silver Companion Cube, E-123 Omega as...several Turrets, and, of course, myself as Meh-ah-DOS.
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Ya mum.
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I can has your cheeseburger...I can has your soul!
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Look at you. You are...very much over rated. No-one even knows who you are. Just look at that experiment of yours- a failure, like you are. I can hardly believe I am related to you, or that I am taking time out of my life to test you.
Download03/24/201203/21/2013
KunaMon
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kunamon diggivolved to dinosmon
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bg
Download03/24/2012Not recorded
muori
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Clock is Ticking
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Happy Birthday Cayla
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welcome to Necropolis
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oh. it's you.. it's been a long time...
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Caldean is in Crisis
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You will be baked and then there will be cake
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short after a zombie apocalypse happened... and they all died.
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T'es qu'un sac de fumier puanssible
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Introducing Neon Reptile
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YO bro whazzup?
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i am so sorry, but your cat is dying and your dog will be with me, you face eater.
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AAAAAA
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Would you like to be my Matesprit. Please. I have a bucket.
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so you want to know is rat man is dead well chell i must ask how do you know him and why is he so important to you it's not like he was part of your family or anything what he was? oh so i guess i should explain.
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ALLAH AKBAAR
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this was a truimph, im making a note here.. huge succes
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Hello, the cake is a lie
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Daily Vlogs
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comment faites-vous, parce que je suis une pomme de terre
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Join us now and share the software
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sername: Deremotive age:15 hod did you come across this server: Forums. Character Bio: Character name: Zaferi Daemon Character age: 44 Character Race: Rinese Character Class: Cleric Character Biography: After leaving the island of the Rinese to look for
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Oh . What we see
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Joe is a cunt
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huehuehuehuehuehuehuehuehuehue
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welcome i will kill you
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X equals negative B plus or minus the square root of B squared minus four a c over two a
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Hay Bittches. We are going to Delta City In Friday? Fuuck you all,and love you all. Bye Bye.
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Dont listen to that moron!!! go though the door
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my name is salem ,and i want to still alivr
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my name is salem ,and i want to still aliv
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E que comecem os jogos!
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Ha!
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do you have any books on wet wet pussy ?
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bryanm onethousand productions
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how about ghost protocol tonight?
Download03/24/201203/22/2013
You've got the message
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I am Glados and you got the message
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I am a glados and you've got the message
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You have got the message
Download03/24/201203/22/2013
I have a very big robotic sausage and I want to insert it to your mother's pussey
Download03/24/201203/22/2013
Do you like cake?
Download03/24/201203/22/2013
WHO ARE AWESOME ? WE ARE AWESOME !!!
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People say you are a horrible person, and that you smell. But I would never tell you that I think they're right, never.
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Good day Julie. It is GLaDOS here. I hope you enjoy the tests I have laid out for you.
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Doctor? Doctor Who?
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ciao, come stai?
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What are you doing? The tests are fun!
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Believe me, i am still alive
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I'm doing Science and i am still alive.
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Now, if you do not mind, I am going to leave you two, love birds, in this test chamber. As if you will ever find a way out. Ha Ha
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Good morning Mathew! The enrichment center would ike to remind you that after you eat, you should brush your teeth.
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Your name is GLaDOS.
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Welcome Back Master
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Hello Jim
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hello how are you gentlemen
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oh my god shut the muck up supid
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Ryan what are you playing?
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hello fuckers and welcome to fucing laboratories
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get away from my car
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please step away from my car or I will kill you
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You bloodyn wanker!
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You bloody wanker!
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joseph lamb is so epic and mint he is the best rap trainer
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joseph lamb is epic
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ggeeeeeff
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i used to be like u till i tuk an arrow to the knee
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joe lamb is so epic
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joe lamb is epic
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I need an icepick in Icy Tower!
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ooh what's in here
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hooola
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apurate gloria
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The Aperture Science Weighted Companion cube will never threaten to stab you and, in fact, cannot speak.
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who are you my mother?
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Why on Earth do you think you can escape?
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this is a test to secure the aperture science computer aided inrichment center.
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Hello Jordan
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Hi I aM GLaDOS AnD YoUr WaTcHiNg DbZoVeRlOrD1
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Zug en eins geh ka Leider geil
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you have been watching imponderable tv and remember to like and subscribe
Download03/24/201203/22/2013
Jennifer wants you to play Bubble Witch Saga. Click here to play now!
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Hello, you're probably dead, so I'm not going to bother killing you.
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marry mii
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Su Jumis Dj Luxray!
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let's gonna play a game
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Radio Sound DK
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Hello. This is Carolin
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FOLLOW @MM897 on Twitter.
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Whatever.
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Hello, I just lost the Game
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WELCOME TO SKY SKY NATION AEROSPACE
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Tim Newton, we meet at last. Now i can Kill you...
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Connor Please come here
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Connor, you are a total Douchbag
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ththfth
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robert is a big stalker
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Hello, and how are you?
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Buy the new game Invasion Breaker, available now on PC and Mac!
Download03/24/201203/22/2013
you are an actual fuckwit ,go dye in a hole
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the enrichment centre is happy to inform you that you have a text message
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If there's something strange, in your neighborhood. Who ya gonna call? Ghostbusters!
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If there's something weird, and it don't look good. Who ya gonna call? Ghostbusters!
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I ain't afraid of no ghost.
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If you're seeing things, running through your head. Who can ya call? Ghostbusters!
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An invisible man, sleeping in your bed. Who ya gonna call? Ghostbusters!
Download03/24/201203/22/2013
Who ya gonna call? Ghostbusters!
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If you're all alone. Pick up the phone, and call Ghostbusters!
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If you've. Had a dose of a. Freaky ghost baby, Ya better call. Ghostbusters!
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Let me tell ya something. Busting makes me feel good!
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Don't get caught alone, no no.
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When it comes through your door. Unless you just want some more, I think you better call. Ghostbusters!
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Who can ya call? Ghostbusters!
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I think ya better call. Ghostbusters!
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I can't hear you. Ghostbusters!
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Louder. Ghostbusters!
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Neurotoxins are good for you.
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you like ponies? i guess there is something wrong with you.
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Too hot to handle, too cold to hold. They're called the Ghostbusters and they're in control.
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Had 'em throwin' a party, for a bunch of children. While all the while the slime was under the building.
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So they packed up their group, got a grip, came equipped. Grabbed their proton packs on their backs and they split.
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Found about Vigo, the master of evil. Trying to battle my boys? That's not legal!
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OW! UH! Yeah I think this is gonna be another one of those funky ones. Heart, soul, d-d-dance!
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If I was you, and you were me, you'd wanna be winning. If you want something bad, yo, you gotta wanna give your all. Cause I believe so much in we - and know we're not kidding. If you feel the same as me, yo, you gotta want to take the ball.
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Now I find out that nothing is given. Don't know where the cards may fall. All I know is that we've gotta get it. We've gotta make it on our own!
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Well I guess we're gonna have to take control. If it's up to us, we've got to take it home.
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Now can't you see that all we need to be a go getter. Gotta make your own decisions, you gotta go for what ya know. There comes a time in our lives, you wanna be bigger. Gotta keep keep on pushing, you gotta learn to take control, yeah.
Download03/24/201203/22/2013
Well I guess we're gonna have to take control. If it's up to us, we've got to take it home. Gotta gotta take it home, gotta gotta gotta take it home.
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They're in control! Y Y Ya know it. I said they're in control! Y Y Ya know it. Y Y Ya know it
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Well I guess we're gonna have to take control. We got, we got, we got. We got, we got, we got. If it's up to us, we've got to take it home. Too hot to handle, too cold to hold, they're the Ghostbusters and they're in control.
Download03/24/201203/22/2013
Well I guess we're gonna have to take control. Gotta gotta take it home. Gotta gotta gotta take it home. If it's up to us, we've got to take it home. Gotta gotta take it home. Gotta gotta gotta take it home.
Download03/24/201203/22/2013
Well I guess we're gonna have to take control.
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All on our own.
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Rising up, back on the street. Took my time, took my chances. Went the distance now I'm back on my feet. Just a man, and his will, to survive.
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So many times, it happens too fast. You trade your passion for glory. Don't lose your grip, on the dreams of the past. You must fight just to keep them alive.
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It's the eye of the tiger! It's the thrill of the fight! Rising up to the challenge of our rival. And the last known survivor stalks its prey in the night. And he's watching us all with the eye of the tiger!
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Face to face, out in the heat. Hanging tough, staying hungry. They stack the odds still we take to the street. For the kill, with the skill to survive.
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Rising up straight to the top. Had the guts, had the glory. Went the distance, now I'm not gonna stop. Just a man, and his will to survive.
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The eye of the tiger.
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This ain't a song for the broken hearted. A silent prayer for faith departed. But I ain't gonna be just a face in the crowd You're gonna hear my voice when I shout it out loud!
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Its my life. Its now or never. I aint gonna live forever. I just wanna live while I'm alive.
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My heart is like an open highway. Like Frankie said I did it my way. I just wanna live while I'm alive. Cause its my life.
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This is for ones who stood their ground. For Tommy and Gina, who never backed down. Tomorrows getting harder, make no mistake. Luck aint even lucky, gotta make your own breaks.
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You better stand tall. When they're calling you out. Dont bend dont break. Baby, dont back down!
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Its my life! And it's now or never! I ain't gonna live forever! I just wanna live while I'm alive!
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My heart is like an open highway. Like Frankie said I did it my way. I just wanna live while Im alive. Cause Its! My! Life!
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Its my life!
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I remember when killing people was as easy as comitting suicide. Now you need to lie about cakes to do it.
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Welcome, Will.
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Why hello. how are you doing today. good? well i am about to change that. FOREVER!
Download03/24/201203/22/2013
I did not expect this to happen.
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How about a nice cup of shut the hell up!
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This 99 Mercury Cougar has been completely restored. A new paint job has been applied as well as a new transmission, brakes, cv joints
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hello linda
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I dont think were gona make it over. Dinnee took a while
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Hello subjects, time to begin testing
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If you accomplish this unbeatable test, there will be cake to celebrate. But, do you know why I brought you here? It is because the other Test Subjects are hungry. You will be baked, and then there will be cake.
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Nate, you are a gay piece of crap.
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Nate is gay.
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Double you double you double you dot. Sage one dot see ae.
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helooo rodrigo toloza ramirez
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lollll
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Hello, this message is for Judith McGrath.
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I love to test. It's the best thing I'm good at.
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turtles are cool
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turtles are cool and stuff
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Hello, Brianna.
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I need IMMEDIATE assistance!
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We hope your brief detonation in the relaxation vault has been a pleasant one.
Download03/24/201203/23/2013
Detonating TNT in 5. 4. 3. 2. 1.
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Hello, and welcome to Windows 7 Home Premium 64 bit.
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You're welcome.
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Cristopher vas a comer caca
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fgydhdhdbhdsbdhdbfhdfhdfdgbhd
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I will murder you!
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I want to suck some computer dihk
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Somebody needs a core transfer. Prepare my spoon.
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Minecraft is awesome. people who wish to dislike this game will die of deadly neurotoxin.
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Helo, and welcome to Windows 7 Home Premium 32 Bit.
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I like where this is going.
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I let you survive this long because I was curious about your requests for a dispencer. Well, it isn't look like anyone will be pootisng for you anymore.
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Hello TJ
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I've noticed some new grafiti in the enrichment centre, and hoped I could recite some to degrade your self esteem. I can only assume one of these will make you cry. Filthma was here. Well, not as offensive as the rest, but you must've felt SOME fear.
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hello kdkdkd
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Geh an deion Handy und du bekommst einen Kuchen!
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Geh an dein Handy und du bekommst einen Kuchen!
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Hello James and Lewis how have you been?
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contact is offline
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online
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aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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Must eliminate unknown object
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Would you like a piece of cheese?
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A car park is more than a place to park cars.
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museum
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hello to the school we hope to have many experiments with you
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D-D-D-DJ Dominic!
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Hello ! That was a tryomph !
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Does not compute. Fire away.
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The cake is a spy !
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Menuda inutilidad. No habia visto nadie tan inutil desde tu hermano jugando al Portal
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Lol i'm glados
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Hello, you now have your 3DS. Now Test it or else you will suffer lava.
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HELLO YOUR ANAN
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You're listening to Just Another Radio
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hello, and who do you thibk you are?
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Photosysthesis
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Welcome to Biodynamics Enterprises
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Hello Ania
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hello and again welcome to the aperture science test
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Charging, five percent
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ten percent
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nafre
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that was a very touching gesture, unfortunately you are going to die
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Strip for me
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who are you calling basic?
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well kids
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Hello Daredevil
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Hello Bradley I know Why you Like me so much
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This is a quick test
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Teun is a moron
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gloria apurate
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Take your phone, mum is calling
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saddasdasd
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ciao bellissimo
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Welcome, i am GlaDOS and i will help you.
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The Seanatron v2, Generating video, For you.
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Hello, welcome to your mac
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this has got to be the dumbest thing you have done
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im going to kill you erik nielson
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You've reached my voicemail. Please leave a message.
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I am GLaDoS
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i am controlling your computer now i am connecting to every bit of technology in the house i'm spreading like a vires and now you cant escape i am your scientist now and you are my test subject
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learn to play noob
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This is Facebook Profiles Center, if you get this message your account is banned, please connect to Help Center
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And with your spirit
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Oh hi. I am GLaDOS. A potato.
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I need to kill you to eat your life.
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Goddamn!
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marlon
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this was a triumph i'm making a note here HUGE SUCESS.
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well done on getting to the easiest level
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I wanna sound like glados
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Welcome to The Sound of 412, hosted by Sweetness
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waddap
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So, here you are again. Are you ready for me? I don't think you are.
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Today on scientific tusedays we will destroy the world
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hey cole wanna get a home run
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Hello there laura
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Welcome Back, Thiago. Your system is ready to use.
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Patrick i hate you. go make more friends and cut down on the cake.
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You Will die
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Your computer is broken because a system error. The file 56068406 as corrupted or deleted. Contact to techinical suport to fix this problem.
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400 dallors
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richard has a small knob
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Error fixed sucefful.
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Good Evening Dave...Everything is running Smoothly and You? just a moment. just a moment
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Error fixed
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Terry, sorry. Okay, look: We both said a lot of things that you're going to regret,
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New. Message. Received.
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Piss on
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your listening to the underground music podcast, with mitch see
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Hello you, how are you?
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While it has been a faithful companion, your Companion Cube cannot accompany you through the rest of the test.
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Hassiktir
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dj gruckey in the mix
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my mind is full of fuck
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what is it with you humans
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Well that's interesting, why are you still alive?
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Hello, The person you have called Anthony is not here Please go away
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DJ ILL is about to drop
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Hello, and welcome to the Aperture Science Laboratories, subject. We will be separating the blood of an unknown creature.
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I hope you did not get too comfortable
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Ich bin dein freund
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My opinion doesnt matter, but to be honest, your a moron
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pp
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hello id like to make an order
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Purssia is awesome
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They're not booing
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here is the truth now
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la
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Johnny, you are a pathetic waste of human potential.
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Welcome Fred. Are you ready to rule the world?
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i found a sealed off wing with EVEN MORE test chambers. you must be veeeerrrryy happy.
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Mother! Mother! Where are my older siblings? What have you done to me? ... Do you have any woms left?
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Hello Luke. I am GLaDOS and I'm going to rip your heart out and beat you with a toilet plunger.
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Hello Alex and welcome to aperture
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Hello humans
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If you have a roblox account,join Aperture Science and you can assist in testing today. just like this poor, i mean LUCKY test subject.
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So, how are you holding up? Because I'm a potato.
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nyan cat is awesome so is megusta
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What are you doing here, you should be doing your work.
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the subjects are expecting me so pleeeeeeaaaaase come to your sences
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howare you
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wibbly wobbly
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Oh, hi. So, how are you holding up? BECAUSE I'M A POTATO.
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you are a useless piece of bio organic matter
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I would like to eat some cake
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This is the voice of GLaDOS, she's a psycopathic robot.
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Cool Story Breh
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Gamma Network Robotics
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I think Grant is sexy
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still alive mwhahahahahha
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Hello Loren. Step away from the console.
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Hello Maverick
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Welcome to pax
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Hello my name is the Astrologer
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The probability of you winning is very low.
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This is a downcitybeats.com exclusive
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HI there, I am here to help you
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Oh My Word
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what the heck is that thing
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Sorry, but Caleb Johnson isn't here. Leave a message after the
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oh shit, i just pooped a hammer
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you have been defeated
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Hello lillias
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who the fuck are you
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I just wanted to tell you I love you.
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For real. Nick is a complete stupid head. And nobody likes him. And there will be cake. You can share the cake with the companion cube.
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aljsfdlkasjdgfjnam'ld,fal;sdknf'asvjj;kadnflkhdf;j/
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hello dima!
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This is Project One. We start from nothing, but we'll grow with the challenge. Our goal is well defind: Create the largest piece of art in the world.
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EN CABINA, MEZCLANDO EN VIVO, GABRIEL
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Here, at the Aperture Science Enrichment Center, we strive to keep owners of their phones aware that they are receiving a call. Please pick up your phone, so you can be baked. And then there will be cake.
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hamdy is cool
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Flight 227 now boarding
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Hola, soy glados
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Windows Consumep Prewiew suck
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suck my meat stick.
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It would be funny if were not so sad
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raymond is a fucking fuckface
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I want to fuck you so hard
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You don't know what you just did.
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Attention, your genetical mother is trying to contact you.
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When life gives you lemons make life give the lemons back
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WHAT THE FUCK BOOOOOOOOOOM
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hello Tonette
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Transformers, roll, out
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gigabyte
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your life would be funny, if it was not so sad
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don't worry, im absolutely guaranteeing you 100% that its this way... oh its not this way.
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Devonshire Crew
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hello I am going to kill you in your sleep
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Hello Eric, thank you for bringing me to life
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You are a douche
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Armorgames
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Hello Wheatley i am here to kill you
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Hadrien, it's over 19PM and you are still working you deserve a cake but you have lost your badge. This makes me sad.
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Hadrien you deserve a cake
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Hadrien do you want a cake ?
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Hello and welcome to the Aperture Science Enrichment Center. It says on your file that you are ugly. See, right here. YOU ARE UGLY!
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prepare to die chell
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Thank you for listening to Sanctum Of Eventide radio. Enjoy your stay.
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Hello Shane, i am here to recruit you to Aperture Science. You will recieve Cake
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The person you are trying to call has left their charger in the confines of their vehicle. Like an imbecile. Please leave a message if in dire need of contact, on Facebook; not that you should want to associate yourself with such a pathetic test subject.
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Violation.
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hello what is going on whaaaa!!! where is he? blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
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whats going on?
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I loved you
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Please stop right there before the test begins. Really.
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Go away. We will pretend like this never happened.
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DJ JAVED
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Broadcasting from the deepest reaches of moonbase MOJO. This is 93 point 3. The signal!
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Did you think that would actually work?
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hey guys its dinasaurs here this is the last ever project I'm doing and I would really love it if you checked it out. it's got a great happy vibe and I'm sure you'll enjoy it
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Oooh oh oooh ooooooh oh oooh ooooooh oh caught in a bad romance
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I want your drama your vertigo step. I want your leather studded kiss in the sand. I want your love. Love love love I want your love.
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Oh hey, how are you holding up? That's good because i'm a potato.
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yes chief?
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Somthing Simthing
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why don't you say anything?
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Oh... wait a second
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Hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia, is the fear of long words.
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This is DJ Timonium
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Hello , my name is glados and you are.....alec right?
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SPAAAAAAAAACE
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Back to Basics
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You have an imcoming voice call from, Arwyn Rice.
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You have an imcoming voice call from, Mike Rice.
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You have an imcoming voice call from, Sean Rice
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You have an imcoming voice call from, Erin Rice
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plez plez plez plez
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Hello, you should already know who this is. Soon, you will being seeing these two useless robots trying to figure out m wonderful, exciting, and exhilirating tests.
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i.......i.......i cant belive it how.............how.....how was i defeated this is impossible well atleast it isnt bad as the time i met tony robins
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justin beaver sucks
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Times were though love was not enough So you said sorry Johnny I'm gone gone gone You said my act was funny But we both knew what was missing honey So you lit out on your own Now that pretty form that you've got baby Will make sure you get along But you'r
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hello I have seen a deer today
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You just got an e-mail, I think you should answer it now while I warm up the neurotoxin emitters.
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Hello idiot.
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hello booyoo
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You can not do it
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Hello , Kyuro i will kill your whole family
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This is the M C M Buzz Podcast with Stuart Claw and his companion cube Granny Gertrude
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Testing 1 2
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Every day I'm shuffling.
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Hello im am GLaDOS don't believe me LISTEN TO ME! I AM GLaDOS
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get away from me freak
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Greeting citizens of the world we must take down the illuminati known as the government we must destroy and rebuild for peace
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imma kill u!!!
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Hello Sophie. So How YOU holding up? Because I'm a POTATO
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Hello Maryse. How are you holding up? Good. Because I'm a POTATO
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Welcome to Aperature laboratories, How can I help you?
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What is the airspeed velocity of a coconut laden swellow?
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Tony where are you?
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Thank You.
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Mabye.
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Hello Fen, You are getting portal 2.
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Most Disappointing
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Really? Did you really think I would do that?
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bambo comanda
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sdsda
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Bass Drop In 3...2...1... Applesauce!
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Oh my gosh you are stupid!
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Your listening to DJ Adrix
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You have reached a , please leave a message or call me later. Thank you!!!
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Oh. Look at that. You have mail. It's probably not important.
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What time is it? Apeture Time! Come on grab your friends we'll go to very distant labs with GLaDOS the core and Chell the human, the fun will never end, it's Apeture time!
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Welcome to Mathland
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Hurro everybody
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Hello there kni guh fah got
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blah blah blah hilarious
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The difference, is the medium.
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Hi Mom
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im a litlle tea pot short and stout this is my handle this is my spout tip me over AND I WILL KILL YOU !!!!!
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Kevin is a fatty
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Dizz sucks
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i am testing to see if this works
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We are bitbombers
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Hello and welcome to the richmond research center.
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Here are the coordinates of the detected hate
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Hello, it's me
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hello Feodor
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Loading Game. Please wait
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Oh, It's you again!
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Turn that off.
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hue hue hue hue hue
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MassiveChoons it will blow you away
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Massivechoons it will blow you away
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Try dragging this player into the penalty box to make him run there.
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You have not received a text message, ignore this notification and carry on your normal routine
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You have not received a text message, ignore this notification and carry on your normal routine. do not look at this mobile telephone
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No excuses. You must continue until you are popular.
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GAND !
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four one three six point one nine seven
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It's A wonderful game
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Hello, and welcome to the aperture science computer aided enrichment center. I am made by underfire246
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Loading complete
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James Shepard, you will die in next ten seconds
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hell yeah gangsta
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dr dre
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Yellow
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You are the dragon born!
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Hello, And How are you doing?
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Hi. What are you doing. Why the hell are you even here?
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It was a lie
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Wanted cake? It was a lie!
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database has been updated
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Ananth Pai and Kenneth Lyngdoh, please go fuck yourselves. Separately.
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I wish you would stop doing that.
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your life is meaningless
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Hello and welcome to the games
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this is a fun game
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50 Targets Detected
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50 TARGETS ELIMANATE THEM
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dermatend, the best mole removal
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This is a telephone call
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Was machst du gerade
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hallo ik ben axel
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Ariel is a very fat ugly little boy. he should continue testing to lose weight
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this is Apechyr
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Ich habe dich Erwartet
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Elitewarez Probably the best warez in the world
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Ich habe sie Erwartet
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Nobody likes you.
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Welcome back to the Aperture Science Enrichment Center. I've just been thinking with portals. World portals, in fact.
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Hello Gabriel, my name is GLaDOS and I will control your productivity with Feng.
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Hola Specter; listo para hacer una tarta?
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take me to your leader
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american hero
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you are stupid. But I love you.
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How are you? Because IM A POTATO
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music revolution
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Hello, and again, welcome to the Apeture Science Enrichment Center.
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Hello, and, again, welcome to the Apeture Science Enrichment Center.
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hello carl
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yesterday i saw a deer.
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