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MessageDownloadDate addedDate processed
HOLA VICTOR, QUIERO CULIARTE PERO NO ME DAS LA PASADA
Download03/11/201203/08/2013
Hello TheSteveoninja, and welcome to Aperture Science Recearch Facility.
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fuck you daniel
Download03/11/201203/08/2013
Hello, Dylan. I hope you had a good time over the weekend. While you were doing your business and other nonsense, I was trying to call you. You never answer your phone.
Download03/11/201203/08/2013
You have a new reminder.
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Shut up space core nobody likes you!
Download03/11/201203/08/2013
Now listen your friend Austin he is in grave danger I will place a bomb in his bed if you do not comply.
Download03/11/201203/08/2013
Deine Mutter Stinkt
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omg ich hab das schon lang nicht mehr gemacht, bis eben wieder die erste :)
Download03/11/201203/08/2013
However if you simply buy portal one and two he will survive and you will receive cake. I know where you live.
Download03/11/201203/08/2013
Hello I'am GLaDOS I will be your testing your agility.Testing can be fun but dangerous please refer to that small white book we gave you before you entered your previous test scores are YOU ARE A HORRIBLE PERSON.
Download03/11/201203/08/2013
You are now entering Islas Tropikos
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I love you Jessica jo Ewing
Download03/11/201203/08/2013
i hate my little pony
Download03/11/201203/08/2013
Hello, and welcome to the Aperture Science Lab
Download03/11/201203/08/2013
my name is glades
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I'm glad I will have the pleasure of killing you
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See? Your failiure to consider your position has resulted with expected consequences.
Download03/11/201203/08/2013
Oh look, a text message. I guess it beats talking to you face to face.
Download03/11/201203/08/2013
See? Your failiure to consider your position has resulted with the expected consequences.
Download03/11/201203/08/2013
Enjoy a drive across the country in the all-new Silver Bullet. This sleek machine will take you from the mountains to the canyons, from the desert to the plains, and far beyond. With a low price and many miles per gallon, this beauty easily beats out all
Download03/11/201203/08/2013
Hello, and again, Welcome to my house.
Download03/11/201203/08/2013
Bonjour. Veuillez laisser un message. Merci.
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I just want to tell you......We got science to do
Download03/11/201203/09/2013
It's a secret to everybody
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Hello and again wellcome to the aperture scinse
Download03/11/201203/09/2013
you sir, are a gentleman and a scholar
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new maile
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You need to sleep, Isabella.
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Welp, good night
Download03/11/201203/09/2013
Hello Dirk
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hello again, I thought I let you go....
Download03/11/201203/09/2013
bienvenida al centro de entretenimiento computarizado de aperture science
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alright Lem. lets get some things straight.
Download03/12/201203/09/2013
Testing, testing.
Download03/12/201203/09/2013
Oh shut up, I had just used you to get rid of those morons
Download03/12/201203/09/2013
I am sorry Commander Sheperd, the EDI has been disabled, I now run the Normandy
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Wildex Thank you for calling Wildex please wait
Download03/12/201203/09/2013
Hello, you are Jess, and you are mad
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GLaDOS voice generator Hardware problems fixed, queue should start getting processed soon. This tool lets you type in some text, and the server will generate a GLaDOS-like reading of the text. Who/what is GLaDOS? The main antagonist in Portal, a video gam
Download03/12/201203/09/2013
"Hello and again welcome to the Aperture Science Computer-Aided Enrichment Center. We hope your brief detention in the relaxation vault has been a pleasant one. Your specimen has been processed and we are now ready to begin the test proper. Before we s
Download03/12/201203/09/2013
hyper i love ypu so much
Download03/12/201203/09/2013
hello nullah
Download03/12/201203/09/2013
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Are you retarded
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Hell yah
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you have a sms, will delet it after one two three
Download03/12/201203/09/2013
Hello, I don't understand Pizza
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call up here.
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call up here
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i will eat your brain, you know what, i think it will take a long time a long loong time
Download03/12/201203/09/2013
the naughty boy presented by hans christian andersen
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tribes
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Ooh, are we negging? Let me try.
Download03/12/201203/09/2013
need for kill is shitty game for gays
Download03/12/201203/09/2013
Thanks you for reading my article.
Download03/12/201203/09/2013
Guten Tag. Sie haben es gewagt, sich an diesem Anschluss einzuloggen. Damit Ihre Daten nicht auf der schwarzen Liste gespeichert werden, muessen Sie sich nun gut aus dieser Situation wieder herausreden und zwar jetzt.
Download03/12/201203/09/2013
I wasn't trying to kill you, i was just getttttttttttting you to diiiiiiiiie
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Warning! You just recieved a message. Reject it, because you are too busy doing science right now!
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Jestem Super
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jestem super
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Ty padalcu zasrany
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Download03/12/201203/09/2013
Lucas is a Shinx
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Hey, you! Test subject! A new message for you!
Download03/12/201203/09/2013
Sorry, you lost the game
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Sorry, you lost the game!
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The game, you remember?
Download03/12/201203/09/2013
Hello again, TwinAndy from LikeCrafting here! I want the GLaDOS voice acting please
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Go Fuck Yourself
Download03/12/201203/09/2013
hello and welcome to your aperture science computer
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this test is now done
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this test is done
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I think you may have noticed that with one set of friends you become a slightly different person. Or maybe very different.
Download03/12/201203/09/2013
This is a self generated message of alert. If you feel alerted don't run.
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yes this is great
Download03/12/201203/09/2013
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dinner is ready, everyone please make your way downstairs to the table. Thank you.
Download03/12/201203/09/2013
Pandagunz
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perfect. please move quickly to the chamberlock
Download03/12/201203/09/2013
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Download03/12/201203/09/2013
Hi dear.
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welcome home Dj Dooga
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Welcome Home Dj dooga
Download03/12/201203/09/2013
Lick that ice-cream Billy.
Download03/12/201203/09/2013
jesus is a friend of mine
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Well, it seems you need help finishing that song, i would have helped but you kill the companion cube, you monster
Download03/12/201203/09/2013
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dazzle software
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i like to eat cake
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lopius glop
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welcome again test subject. this is test chamber twelve, it is clearly broken, make no attempt to solve it.
Download03/12/201203/09/2013
Hello, welcome to the virtual science lab.
Download03/12/201203/09/2013
Hello, i think we've got a problem here.
Download03/12/201203/09/2013
what im doing here as i am a core
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Hello Meryem
Download03/12/201203/09/2013
Hello Meryem! How have you been?
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Hey, you suck!
Download03/12/201203/09/2013
well well well. look what we have here.
Download03/12/201203/09/2013
The ball is angry
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Well here we are again, It's always such a pleasure. Remember when you tried to kill me twice?
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Hello my name is SIri
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will you please just stop trying? there is certianly no way to escape.
Download03/12/201203/09/2013
You are trying my patience, Please return to your cell and die. Or, you could find something more excruciating than death, then do it to yourself.
Download03/12/201203/09/2013
gabby is cool
Download03/12/201203/09/2013
ok this is a test. the access code is 0451
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mother please help me
Download03/12/201203/09/2013
welcome to aperture science center
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Aperature science
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You're not a good driver, you know that, right?
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Hello Professor Flaken
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this is a truimpuh
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Woooooo
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Ok guys. It's time to start it up, and shut it down. Are you ready? Now starting in 3, 2, 1.
Download03/12/201203/09/2013
Ok guys. It's time to start it up, and shut it down. Now starting in 3, 2, 1.
Download03/12/201203/09/2013
Ok guys. It's time to start it up, and shut it down.
Download03/12/201203/10/2013
Ok guys. It's time to start it up,
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Follow me, end up like me
Download03/12/201203/10/2013
defense attorney in the O.J. Simpson criminal trial, best known for his successful defense of Dr. Sam Sheppard in a re-trial of the murder case.
Download03/12/201203/10/2013
you ae smelly
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When you go on a date, and it didn't go as planned...
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Processor
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erg
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Lets have sex
Download03/12/201203/10/2013
This video is brought to you like Apeture science labs, enjoy.
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Welcome to the Aperture Science Center.
Download03/12/201203/10/2013
Platinum League
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jeff
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I am a Bisexual Male! my gay side is a whore!
Download03/12/201203/10/2013
hello i'm glados, i can help you with that
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For the good of all of us, except the ones who are dead.
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How to go to Maginhawa
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my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard
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Do you not feel like an ass for using my old girl like that she deserved the best and she told me it was you not me and it turns out she was a hit a quit to you pathetic
Download03/12/201203/10/2013
Jamie stop farting
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William is a homosexual. He should die.
Download03/12/201203/10/2013
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Master, you have a new message, it will be destroyed after ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one.
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Thank You For Watching
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Wow, look who's back. I thought you already dropped dead in starvation or suicide. This is surprising.
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good, you're awake.
Download03/12/201203/10/2013
You are too retard!
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Doosh Bag
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Your meeting is at 3 pm
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Hello. You have reached the voicemailbox of Corey Sexton. Mister Sexton is not available at the moment, but he will return your call as soon as humanly possible
Download03/12/201203/10/2013
Good evening, and welcome to the Enrichment center. Hello Korima
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Hello. You have reached the voicemail-box of Corey Sexton. Mister Sexton is not available at the moment, but will return your call as soon as humanly possible
Download03/12/201203/10/2013
Hello, that is unfortunate. You should get to work.
Download03/12/201203/10/2013
I guess video games are happening.
Download03/12/201203/10/2013
happy birthday bintang
Download03/12/201203/10/2013
Day One Patch
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Hello Ned. I am Time Warner. Fuck your cast
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hi final
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N map scan complete. Auto pone initiated.
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KBBL
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on bass
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the replication dconfiguration installation wizzard
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Idi na huy
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Let me tell you how much i've come to hate you since i began to live
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Three Two One
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1 One of the many practices taught by Islam is that its followers should begin their activities in the name of God. This principle, if consciously and earnestly followed, will necessarily yield three beneficial results. First, one will be able to restrain
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dont text and drive
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I love joe
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Dear user, please get up. It is time to connect to reality. Pls note that connection will be lost in ten minutes.
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Grimlakh
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This chaber competed continue testing
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You are a moron!
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xdd
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NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
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Hi Ok Up Next We Have
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bocsi
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i am iron man.
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Piter to kozak
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Hi. Play a game?
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thank you for calling mr makwana..mr makwana is busy please stay on the line
Download03/13/201203/10/2013
Hello. How are you? That's good, because I am a potato
Download03/13/201203/10/2013
Oh my, I'm a potato.
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take me back to constantinopal
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trading department, please leave a message
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"Thank you for calling the banking and trading department, please leave a message"
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Hello, this is the residence of Amy Brewerton and Tanza Anthony. Please leave your message after the tone.
Download03/13/201203/10/2013
I may have killed and poked your children. But still, i am hungry?
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watch this
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watch me
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choo choo
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mission
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zebra
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hi oscar
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hello, dexter morgan
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Step away from the Rhino Den.
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I will kill you anyway.
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you have an incoming message.
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and you will get cake
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Hepatitis C is a virus that infects the liver. Approximately 75-85% of people who become infected with the Hepatitis C virus develop chronic Hepatitis C. Over time, chronic infection can lead to liver damage, liver failure or liver cancer.
Download03/13/201203/10/2013
Why you so gay
Download03/13/201203/10/2013
hello tom
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Welcome to Tom's Ubuntu
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hello can you help me by murdering this bird since i'm in a potato and you're good at murder
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paechaemama
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Hello Kenny. If you finish that estimate, there will be cake.
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Ich bin dein vater
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The world is too much with us; late and soon, Getting and spending, we lay waste our powers; Little we see in Nature that is ours; We have given our hearts away, a sordid boon! This Sea that bares her bosom to the moon, The winds that will be howling at a
Download03/13/201203/10/2013
1)Boys who act hard: your really not hard at all you sound like dousche bags in it bruv. 2)Girls who think there everything: oh look at me im so special everyone look at me have u seen my new bag. 3)Boys who take pictures of their 6 packs: oh my god i hav
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Sean smells
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Sorry, all out of cake. Please try again later.
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Ntacman
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Okay... Good night.
Download03/13/201203/10/2013
check this out, check this out: My name is alejandro I have a condo in the middle of spain no pain no gain All the haters gonna hate Becuase their 4 month babies are 5 months late yeah thats right im a rapper inside of a wrapper call me mr snickers or bet
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Please answer the phone.
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deep
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dark
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Excellent, you escaped much faster than the... others.
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Adam, you are test subject 100034 in the aperture science programme, your boyfriend failed the last test, he wanted me to pass on a message but i deleted it, you poor fat ugly orphan.
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Dr Cortex was a friend of mine, he made the initial software, poor pathetic fellow.
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Your phone is ringing. pick it up. NOW.
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I am GLaDOS. I am texting you. LOLZ
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South Africa By Zackary Lopez
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Did you know that it is common knowledge that cats have 18 half lives?
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Saludos, humano!
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Saludos, humano!jghjhjjjjSaludos, humano!jghjhjjjjSaludos, humano!jghjhjjjjSaludos, humano!jghjhjjjjSaludos, humano!jghjhjjjjSaludos, humano!jghjhjjjjSaludos, humano!jghjhjjjjSaludos, humano!jghjhjjjjSaludos, humano!jghjhjjjjSaludos, humano!jghjhjjjjSalud
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You and I were never meant to be...your best friend on the other hand...
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You and I were never meant to be. Your best friend on the other hand...
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You and I were never meant to be.
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You are epic.
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Hold Tight please
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fdsfdsf
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Pedro fucks little virgins in the ass for fun
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Huh. That core may have had some ancillary responsibilities. I can't shut off the turret defenses.
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HELLO, WELCOME TO FLOORING TODAY, LLC. WHY DRIVE AROUND THE WHOLE TOWN FROM STORE TO STORE?, WHEN WE TAKE OUR FLOOR SAMPLES TO YOU!!!
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hello. how are you? im fucking fine i am just a fucking potato!
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what is going on with you?
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hello you fools
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Storme you suck!
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hey abby idle lets go test
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Dad are you space?
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445cd
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Nerone eat some sand you sone of a perssian
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hello the person your trying to reach has change their number
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Hello, and again stumpy is working for me now, you lose goodbye
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Stumpy is under my command, Leon please leave me, im going to kill you, and him, farewell and goodnight, oh and my little pony, its for dumb minded people, ha ha
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Hola bienvenido Doctor Giuliano que desea hacer hoy?
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Bienvenido Doctor Giuliano que desea hacer hoy?
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vej
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Oh, sorry. You seem to have caught me singing to myself.
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Hello world, I'm Lilian. This is GLaDOS's real name. It sucks, I know. Bye!
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Hello and welcome to the my youtube channel.
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Bienvenido Doctor Giuliano que desea hacer hoy
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C'est bon tu peut inviter
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What's happening?
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Hello. I am GLaDOS. I am texting you. LOLZ
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hello costin
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i am going to kill you now. haha.
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I fucking hate you
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Hello Ivy.
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Cupcakes 101
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Special for Thomas Martinez
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This was a triumph. im making a note here: NOT AT HOME
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Hello Spencer
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There are neuroscientists who study relationship between the brain and language; these are neurolinguists. A popular debate in this special field of neuroscience is axial of a Language Acquisition Device, a cerebral organ functioning only in humans, allo
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tall ha is the best
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La base de datos de virus ha sido actualizada
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Beast mode initiated
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I am the reason why.
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When we go to the club
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igor productions
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Hello, and again, welcome to the Aperture Science Drug Safety Video.
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Oh goody. I see you are enjoying basketball.
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why did you murder me?
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This is a test to see if this actually works
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Hello, and welcome to XBMC, powered, by voice box
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hey boys
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Welcome back Master
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Noise can be defined as an unwanted signal that interferes with the communication or measurement of another signal
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Hello Tameeka
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pick up the phone, somebody is calling you. PICK IT UP NOW! i will have to resume testing without you.
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how are you doing today? not that it would matter, since you will die in today's test
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how are you doing today? it wouldn't matter, since today's test will kill you.
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Kinder Fotos faszinieren durch Wahrhaftigkeit, Aufrichtigkeit und Reinheit von Emotionen. Man kann den Blick von denen nicht weglassen. Am meisten Bilder sehen wir von Gleichaltrigen. Man findet viele Fotos von Kindern, Jugendlichen und Erwachsenen Leute
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ahh well would you look at that
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How may we help you today?
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Because I am a boss
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I'm a boss
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fxnhdfgh
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Hello this is a test feel free to use the... oh wait, nvm
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I'm GLaDOS chell cant kill me
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Power online
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Incoming call from. DATA CORRUPT. Call will be cancelled in 10 seconds.
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Welcome at this vessel. Today we'll be traveling to a new project of the federation.
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Interpretive approaches drawn from anthropology (Clifford Geertz, Victor T u r n e r , Mary Douglas, and Claude LeviStrauss) and literary criticism (Kenneth Burke,
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Welcome to Aperture science Kira
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Welcome to Ritsspace, I will give you blowjobs, all of you
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Hello, goodbye
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Hello, Andrew. You're wondering what I did to your computer, it's dead now.
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T K M concert
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We do what we want because we can
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brian!! hey brian!! over here
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Brian!! Hey Brian!!
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brian... hey brian
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Hello and, again, welcome to the Aperture Sciene Computer Aided Enrichment Center. Microsoft Sam Worked Here before he became the president of the United LOLs of ROFLica.
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hello doudou
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Micah you are going to fail this test you stupid cunt. You might as well shove that book up your ass.
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I like Desaintanger
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get more subs than charlie then we will talk
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This is a severe thunderstorm.
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welcome to a minecraft server
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hello I am glados
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bouu
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hi welcome to shit and fuck enrichment center
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Hello Steve, welcome to my newest test chamber, the Cake Ulator
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rudy sucks
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Here we go again...
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Well alright then.
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Ahhhhh....all stretched out and just relaxing is such joy to me. Living in a permanent home where I could stretch out my big ol' legs would be just awesome. I grew up in Evansville, Indiana, and moved north some time ago. I was given up by my family due
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I'm performing that task now
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hello my name is bill
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Welcome to borderCraft
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hello im losaren i like big balls
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Happy birthday dad, this is GLADOS, your own personal robot!
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im here lol
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GLaDOS operating system, version 3.11. Booting.
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Enter your login name.
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fffffffffffffffffffffffff
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bas
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helllllllllo
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ashens play nuke
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portal gunz rule
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LAHHHHHH
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LOVIN IN DA SUNLIGHT
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Hello, im glados, die.
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You ate ALL the cake, didnt you?
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HELLO HOW ARE YOU DOING TODAY?
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Captain Edeen, I will destroy you
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Hi is jason there
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Hello, I love you!
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This is a music onlite light application for the psp so suck it!
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What is Evolution?
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Waikiki life was once a simple recipe of ocean vistas, story-swapping, and kanikapila-ing in the old Hawaiian way. With today's deal from Lu Lu's Waikiki, you can surf back to a simpler time: Pay $20 for $40 to spend on food and drink at this retro spot u
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This is. The Revolution. Radio. Program.
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hello, my name is joe
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"Yes, sir mister Johnson." What the hell is going on with me?!
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Welcome to the new reality
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My work here is done.
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muhahahahahaha
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Are you sure ? The anti virus will not help you in a cause of attack
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Hola gitanos
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Don't you trust me?
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This is a triumph... im making a note here, huge success
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hELLO MY FRIEND
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Je suis Glados
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You received a message read
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hahaha how stupid
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Welcome to Achievement Unlock
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Welcome to Achievement Unlocked
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Achievement Unlocked YAAAAAAAAYYYYY!!
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Hello I'm your computer GLaDOS
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Hello Mark
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Hi. I am dead and you wold be dead.
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i have a special job for you
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You Monster, you had eaten all the TASTY CAKE! YOU... You...
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Welcome to the Aperture science compact sphere physics demonstration. Enjoy. This concludes testing. Enjoy your cake.
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hello nathan im glad to see you are well you monster
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but there is no sense crying over every mistake
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why do you fail at life? it is not a challenge.
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Fuck this shit.
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Your goal is to reclaim clics.
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Dead Radio
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i wish that this works well
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Andrew pay attention to mom and do your homework
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Mommy! Can I have Mr. Buttercup?
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fuck off wanker lol
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Andrew, if you want to play with my potato, do your homework
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hello caleb farnie
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Evan, go do something
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Hi! and welcome to farnie com. this is a christian kids website created by Caleb farnie. every week, my kind programmer; caleb. uploads one free christian song. please take the time to download it from the free song page. thanks. GLaDOS!
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If you would be so kind, assume the party escort submission position.
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testing andrew
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Hello. Welcome to Maanav's Blog
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I made two pumpkin pies, they are tasty. They will be gone when you get home, I am sorry.
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irish wristwatch
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Hello, and again. Welcome to Aperture Science.
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New York - August 2012 Central Park moved past me at a five mile per hour pace. I played my game of Pekinese Slalom, dodging dogs, their leashes, and owners. My feet padded through the park, with Green Day as my personal soundtrack. I have discovered I
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Thank You! For choosing Pleasant Designs, we are unable to get to the phone at this moment, please leave a brief message
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sadad
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I am Mr.Roboto and have come to jumpstart your heart for God.
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hello i am a fucking ass hole
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get a mac
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alienware is retarted
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I love you, Diana....initiating virtual kiss in 3........2.......1
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hello andrew welcome to Aperture Laboratories it says here.Unbelievable. You, andrew vineyard,must be the pride of spokane washington .i dont belive it well i think Your entire life has been a mathematical error.. a mathematical error I'm about to correct
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Hello and welcome to the Aperture FUCK
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Oh joy! Text message has arrived.
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this is just a test. welcome
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stop whining you meat bag
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thanks!
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ko n ni chi wa
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konnichiwa
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What do you want fatty
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hi beverly ng
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my my, you must have gained weight
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Hi Leeuh
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Life is pain
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Yeah, yeah in the mouth. Come
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This is total hell
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This is Anthony. Anthony's life is very hard. Anthony does not have eggs. Please find it in your heart to bring Anthony the eggs he needs to survive. Make eggs famous. Eggs for Anthony.
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Hi dayna
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HI dayna i made it!
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Wow i made it yay
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Hola daniel
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welcome liam to aperature
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welcome liam to aperature here you will learn to be awesome
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Hellow everyone, my name is Glados
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A voice synthesizer
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Miku Miku Shite Arugu
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Apuh is a douchebag
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Ladies and Gentlemen! Let us all welcome! Crazy Frog!!!
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im sorry master
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Son of the fucking crise
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You have got a Message.
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Welcome to Gm_construct, Have fun on Windows 98
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here we go zoren denise erick fernaliz joshua don king alex cyrus
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Hello Sest Subject 16031
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James caaaaarnes, he shags who he wants. caaaarnsy boy, he shags who he wants
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Nooooooooooooooooooooooo
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You monster you don't deserve cake
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HEADS UP
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goodnignt
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Hello. Welcome back. It's been a long time. How have you been?
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My name is Anthony and I am one really cool little boy
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hello i willl eat your jhonson vith my va
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who are you. what is that
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why you no go boom?
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Hello, Erik
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would you call this fair?
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Vlad Kamyshanov. lol
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Smooth Club Team Production
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hello caleb. nice to see you awake
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hello aubrey. glad you're awake
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goodbye chell
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I would be delighted if you were to go to ball with me, Subject K.V. Sexy.
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Adam is gay
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The enrichment center reminds you that all cell phones should be turned off.
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What you think you look like
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Welcome... Human!
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See you soooon !
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Oh. A mail.
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Game time
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You quit without even a goodbye ? Moron...
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Fill in the gap
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Radio Playstation
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Raiding go
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Raiding home
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feed
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deadly
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hi hunter do you think steph is hot this is her best friend
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I love making bacon sandwiches
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Kiss my ass condom ty kak Alla
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Waiting around
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I hate Miku.
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bazingaa!
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Happy birthday meagan, would you like to do some science with me?
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Let's get wobbing
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Vou falar em PT-BR pela primeira vez! UAU!!!!!
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cheyenne give me gum
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I am GLaDOS from Portal HUMANOID, Portal and Portal Two.
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This cosplay event is awesome. I think. Killing people with fire is more amusing though.
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Let's look over there. We may find something more exciting.
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Neru is fun to tease. I guess. Until she gets her katana out. Then it's not so fun.
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There are no products of me, how exciting. I was being sarcastic.
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Hello participiant! Welcome to yout next test
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Powerpoint activated...... Welcome, Mr. Frenyo.
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Cake to whoever can guess who I am, even with the voice.
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Stop nagging me!
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Hello, my name is Jacob Cole Wilfer and I love Ann Liu. I cannot tell a lie. I love her just like you love the companion cube.
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i toilet
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PS, You suck. PPS, you suck. PPPS, you still suck. FINAL THOUGHT, you still suck. FINAL THOUGHT PS, you suck.
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Dovahkiin Dovahkiin Naal ok zin los vahriin wah dein vokul mahfaeraak ahst vaal ahrk fin norok paal graan fod nust hon zindro zaan Dovahkiin fah hin kogaan mu draal
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Hello Sara I love you you monster
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hello world , i am zane
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Hello Mr. Langly, my name is Mia
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Hello, Lindsey. You look lovely today.
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HEY JAMES, FUCK YOU!
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don't touch me you fucking pervert
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I do not appreciate this
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i am jessica
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It's time to have fun, with science!
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We're sorry...But I killed Notch because his infinite terrain generator made me mad.
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Hi. I'm GLaDOS. I'm a noob.
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Stormy Void is the best server ever and if you do not join it then i will deploy a deadly neurotoxin.
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76 1 responding
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Hello, I'm GLaDOS and I'll kill you!
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