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MessageDownloadDate addedDate processed
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 + -
Download03/08/201203/04/2013
lalalalalalalalala
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Hello, You Monster
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Eat my ass
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The boogie man is coming
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Hello, and. again. welcome to the Aperture Science computer aided Enrichment Center.
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Hello... Would you like some cake?
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Three hours later
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Emmitt what are you doing
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yes master
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welcome back sir
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well well well. look who's here?
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How are you doing? I am a potato
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If I were you, I'd start running in the other direction outside the facility. Trust me, you REALLY don't wanna face ME after the day I've been having...
Download03/08/201203/04/2013
nathan is a moron
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That's not the facility shutdown switch, by the way. In fact, it doesn't even-- Oh, you've pulled the switch already. Did I mention it actually activates the Rocket Turret production line? Must have slipped my mind. I'd start running if I were you.
Download03/08/201203/04/2013
I didn't even feel a thing! Did you really think that thing would be enough to defeAREDdaokjdfSDPKJfiashfdsjOIPFSJd-- What was that!? I guess that thing did have some effect. I'd better run a diagnostic. Keep yourself busy with these turrets.
Download03/08/201203/04/2013
What are you doing? Put it down. Now. Don't make me kill you.
Download03/08/201203/04/2013
I love you Chell. You are not fat.
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hello humans i am here testing glados voice
Download03/08/201203/04/2013
Hello, nice to meet you
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Try it until you run out the cake
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Yes. I'm Still Alive
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Megan, you have a very nice bum
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Always draw from a well known source.
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it's a me. Mario.
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critical System failiure
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critical system failiure, all processes shutting down
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Mi nombre es Glados
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Welcome back again Brett
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Hello, and again, welcome to the aperture science computer aided enrichment center.
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I want to kill chell
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you have recieved a new mail
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This does not work
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If you continue to selfishly evade me it's going to look good in your file
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Hi Courtney
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hello and welcome to the podplex
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"You are not a good person. You know that, right?"
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yes on your face and in your mouth. I love watching the cum shoot out on you. and watching you jerk yourself off. Im playing with myself watching you touching my wet hot pussy lick it off your lips all that precum let me know when y
Download03/08/201203/04/2013
How would you like a flying car?
Download03/08/201203/04/2013
Hello there sir or madam! Would you like a slice of cake? Well too bad because there is none. Ha ha ha ha ha.
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Hello and begin. Welcom to the Aprture science.
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Fuck you I'm dj
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Oh? hahaha ha ha.. you're so funny.. Did I tell you? That's what it says to say.. So funny..
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glados voice generator
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hello and welcome to the radio station
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I like fat squirrels
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Welcome to the server
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whay
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eat my defecation
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reminder
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hallo was ist los
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This is Tod at 9194444747. leave a message please
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The phone is ringing! Please answer the call.
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Vada a bordo, cazzo!
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i am a poopie head
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Hello, you bastard.
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i n anruf denis
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hallo kiti
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Hallo kiti
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please insert your floopy into my disk drive
Download03/09/201203/04/2013
All sources of ignition such as cigarettes, matches, lighters, Cameras, mobiles, arms, ammunition etc. Are NOT permitted & shall be handed over & deposited at the Security gate. Any person under the influence of drugs, Alcohol and such other substances i
Download03/09/201203/04/2013
Fuck. I am a potato
Download03/09/201203/04/2013
I just dropped my nuts. Sorry, I meant your nuts.
Download03/09/201203/04/2013
Ich bin der kleine Hobbit
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Portal 2 est trop bien!!!
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Hello Peter i can see you
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Welcome to the main Menu
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Benvenuto all'Aperture Enrichment Center. Attendere prego
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"The cake is a lie"; is a lie
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ohh
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Lubie placki
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he;;p
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czesc damian
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Hello Glen my name is Ian
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My name is Ellen Page
Download03/09/201203/04/2013
Sipie patas production
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main mix will be best
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Welcome to the aperture science testing facility
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systems activated
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systems shutdown
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Initiating Launch Prep
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oops i farted
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i amaewsome
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i want a cheese
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Fuck you monster
Download03/09/201203/04/2013
We are anonymous. We are legion. Expect us.
Download03/09/201203/04/2013
hello and again, welcome to the aperture science enrichment center.
Download03/09/201203/04/2013
Hello there, Do any of you recognize my voice?
Download03/09/201203/04/2013
hallo you suck
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teenage mutant ninja turrets
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I want to feel the velvety smooth feeling of your insides.
Download03/09/201203/04/2013
Humans are so selfish.
Download03/09/201203/04/2013
My name is Glados!
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Hay Get Back Here
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Hello, Chell. It's been a long time. How have you been?
Download03/09/201203/04/2013
hola me llamo madelaine
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Hello i am Glados can you here me
Download03/09/201203/04/2013
all systems activated
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systems active
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Here comes the test results. You are a horrible person. That's what is says. We weren't even testing for that.
Download03/09/201203/04/2013
Alex Bolling, I will kill you. and your entire family. haha
Download03/09/201203/04/2013
It's you?Again?Well i want to kill you.Yes,YOU!
Download03/09/201203/04/2013
Hello, Frankie
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Hello, Frankie.
Download03/09/201203/05/2013
Get out of Jakes room please.
Download03/09/201203/05/2013
What are you doing here.
Download03/09/201203/05/2013
Welcome back Suzy Hockenberry
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Welcome back, Suzy Hockenberry
Download03/09/201203/05/2013
holaaa
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holaaa,pedrito
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This was a triumpg, I'm making a note here huge success. It's hard to oberstate my satisfaction
Download03/09/201203/05/2013
oh hello. didn't see you there
Download03/09/201203/05/2013
Welcome android
Download03/09/201203/05/2013
Welcome Android!!
Download03/09/201203/05/2013
Unsubscribe has joined TrustedID's family of identity protection services! We are now working as a part of TrustedID's identity protection services, including IDSafe - a free identity protection offering. With IDSafe, your privacy and identity are covere
Download03/09/201203/05/2013
I would very much like to analyze your application's code for you. However, it appears that cast requires another u a. sad really. your technology is too old. i will create another service ticket.
Download03/09/201203/05/2013
Hello, and welcome to Menta-loop
Download03/09/201203/05/2013
n be relatively long
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Hello. Welcome to the hog server. please read the rules or i will portal you. to the nether
Download03/09/201203/05/2013
hello and welcome to the amazing hog server. this prerecorded message is very very stupid
Download03/09/201203/05/2013
Sometimes I just grow so tired of humans
Download03/09/201203/05/2013
Hey. Do you like Percy Jackson?
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Hello Ellie, how are you
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Hi mike, i'm glados
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Welcome to the real world, prepare to die.
Download03/09/201203/05/2013
Hello BlackSun , How are you?
Download03/09/201203/05/2013
Hello Natasha , How are you?And you is NYAA
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Hello Zeratul , How are you?
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Hey! You. What are you doing with that?
Download03/09/201203/05/2013
To setup your twitter stream, go to your profile and click edit account. At the very bottom it says Twitter name. Enter in your twitter username and click save. If you refresh the page you should see your profile has been updated.
Download03/09/201203/05/2013
Hello Zack
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It's GLaDOS here, to tell you Ven, that I'm. Going to kill you.
Download03/09/201203/05/2013
Welcome to the family reunion info line. Just some quick information before we tell you where the event is. The price is twenty dollars at the door. leave your weapons and bad attitudes at home. this is a nineteen nineties themed party and you should act
Download03/09/201203/05/2013
HELLO NOAH HAVE A GOOD DAY TODAY
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hello jack, i am glados
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portalgun
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LOLZOR
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hello jonathon, i'm just going to say hello, I would stay and talk but there's eels in my hovercraft,
Download03/09/201203/05/2013
Du bist Tot
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hey hey, hey hey nobody likes a lonely only nobody likes a lonely only come join the army of one come join the army of one never be alone again
Download03/09/201203/05/2013
All The Above
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adfvsdvasvdsavasdvasvasdvsdvsdvasdv
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text message is received. automatically deleted after five, four, three, two, one
Download03/09/201203/05/2013
Nothing refreshes quite like a good dose of Neurotoxin. Well, I find it refreshing anyway. You, on the other hand, might not like the smell very much. That is, if it doesn't kill you first.
Download03/09/201203/05/2013
text message is received. automatically deleted after five, four, three, two, one. done
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Don't touch me
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i love you. not!
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Turn Left in 3 Meters
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attention, you have an incoming message from aperture science laboratories
Download03/09/201203/05/2013
Those stars are dead just like your dreams.
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Look, you're wasting your time. And, believe me, you don't have a whole lot left to waste. What's your point, anyway? *Survival?* Well, then, the last thing you want to do is hurt me. I have your brain scanned and permanently backed-up in case something t
Download03/09/201203/05/2013
But, there is one they fear. In their tongue, he is Dovahkiin. Dragon born!
Download03/09/201203/05/2013
God bless us everyone We are broken people under loaded gun
Download03/09/201203/05/2013
tthhheeerrreee rrreaaaaallly wwwwaaasss aaaaa cccccaaakkkeee
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It is time to start thinking with portals
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BLACKOUT
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i'ts been a looong time
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looong time
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loong time
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i've been so bussi beeing die
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Thanks For Calling SandS Merchant Services Please Leave a Detailed message after the beep and we will return your call as soon as possible
Download03/09/201203/05/2013
HA HA HA HA HA
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Twilight is best pony.
Download03/09/201203/05/2013
Nigga dis is black and white, Nigga fuck da black and white Ima strap my motherfuckin bat and knife
Download03/09/201203/05/2013
How are you holding up? BECAUSE I'm A POTOATO
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Welcome to Apature Science
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Better get going. Those mines aren't going to sweep themselves.
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We don't have time to listen to such Attributes
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Space. Space Space. I'm in Space.
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hi im nico
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You are a idiot. Period.
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i can swing my sword sword. you can not afford ford, ford my diamond sword sword
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FUN FACT
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stupid human i just broke your portal device
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I want to eat the type of monkey that drags himself across a trampoline and speaks Spanish with an Irish accent.
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Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killedmy father. Prepare to die.
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hello i am glados i love me
Download03/09/201203/05/2013
When you wish upon a star, you are actually a fe million years too late. That star is dead. Just like your dreams.
Download03/09/201203/05/2013
I want to get raging fucking drunk and fuck all the whores. I'm about to go to the 2 bit and party down like a motherfucker. 2 Bit salloon oh fuck yeah.
Download03/09/201203/05/2013
Thank you for calling. We are sorry we cannot come to the phone right now. Please leave us a message.
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stars
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Please help me Chell the Army has invaded Aputure Science.AHHHH.........
Download03/09/201203/05/2013
Hello, the owner of this phone cannot pick up his phone. (that lazy steve)Please leave a message after the beep.
Download03/09/201203/05/2013
Hello, Jessica, how have you been?
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hi sweetie
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yoohoo
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Hello and welcome to LAFFMOB. Laugh and Play. Or we will find you and T bag you.
Download03/09/201203/05/2013
hoooooooollaa
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Your first mission is to stop the first wave!
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Hello Everyone and Welcome to the Lennox Head Sounds of summer D J competition. By the end of the night, you will all be feeling a little guilty
Download03/09/201203/05/2013
Hello, and welcome to the portal center device
Download03/09/201203/05/2013
Greetings This is Simon's Phone. He is not available at present Please leave a message after the tone
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How are you doing? Because I'm a POTATO
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Hyperbole
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Metal Ball - I CAN Hear You
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All applicants will be notified whether or not they have been accepted as a trial admin. If you successfully receive trial admin, you will be given a set period of time to prove yourself a good admin. After that time, you will be promoted, or fired.
Download03/10/201203/05/2013
If you have any questions, feel free to send me a PM or post the question here in this topic. This is not a topic for making unrelated posts, and I will punish violators.
Download03/10/201203/05/2013
Hello. Yes, the cake is a lie, but she must die.
Download03/10/201203/05/2013
free flowing and the wind changes its mind and pushes back and the air makes you feel so heavy and so slow and when the sun sets it leaves you behind but it suffocates and presses in on you so much pressure and it builds, and builds and builds until you b
Download03/10/201203/05/2013
Oh! My friend Gilda arrived with Simon!
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Ohhhhhhh.Where are you?
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quilombo!
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Not true
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Ladies And Gentlemen
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Ladies And Gentlemen, LPF Cast will start in 3 seconds
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Hello. I am Gabriel, a prototype robotic assistant.
Download03/10/201203/05/2013
Hi, player from arena.indungi.ro. You are almost there! You have done so much to get here. Not the las challange is waiting for you. Just enter the password and you will be free! Finally!
Download03/10/201203/05/2013
You see! You did it! That is all! This is the finish of your adventure. You are ready to become an admin. Wellcome admin!
Download03/10/201203/05/2013
Hello, I love neurotoxine
Download03/10/201203/05/2013
Logan is a baby boy
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dj lalit
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Remi is an idiot
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Brianum
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hello mortals, it's time to test
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Macrar
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Macrar in the mix
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Wayne needs your help to rebuild the estate. Join their crew!
Download03/10/201203/05/2013
Hello Jeremy. It is me, Kristin.
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hello and welcome to my tutorial of wargame european escalation
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Good Morning Nikita how are you today?
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Shadys Pleasuredome Presents Dee Jay Tiz
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So i herd you like mudkips
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the quick brown fox jumps oover the lazy dog
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Hi mother.
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I wonder if this works
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hello and welcome at agecraft
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Good morning, testificate #235. Welcome to Equestrian Innovations. Please prepare yourself to meet one of our scientists. Before meeting you have to know a couple of things: - All scientists are friendly, so don't argue with them - You will not be hurt du
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o look me
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You have a text, moron
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Welcome to Aperture Laboratories.
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hi your pc as ifecteid
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oLa voce esta completamente ferrado
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I would like some pie please
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The Enrichment center thanks you
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the television is broken
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my name
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agora a porra fico seria
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loh pidr net druzei
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Cya anya
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its beeen a looong time
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welcome sir, starting critical systems
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hello thomas its been a long time
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faygan is cool, yes jack, you heard it correct, faygan is very cool
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ee
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ih
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pig
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wanted
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you are a pig
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i am a pig
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ay
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aye
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cart
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ar
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door
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gore
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more
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sore
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law
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sister
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wooden
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ow
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boy
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coin
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air
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ear
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fear
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fear me
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beer
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over here
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dum
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doo
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doom
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photo
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frame
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foo
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game
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giant
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goo
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judge
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do not judge
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do not judge me
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barge
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james
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i am james
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cut
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i am a cow
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coc
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quick
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mix
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lamb
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leg
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low
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loo
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log
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monkey
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comb
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man
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mood
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mtgrthhtty
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nut
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paper
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processed
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processe
Download03/10/201203/06/2013
process
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Your specimen has been processed and we are now ready to begin the test proper
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Your specimen has been processed and we are now ready to begin the test proper.
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pow
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rat
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ratman
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wrong
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tap
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toe
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Forms FORM-29827281-12: Test Assessment Report This was a triumph. I'm making a note here: HUGE SUCCESS. It's hard to overstate my satisfaction. Aperture Science We do what we must because we can. For the good of all of us. Except the ones who are dead.
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thin
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chip
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chips
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i like chips
Download03/10/201203/06/2013
watch
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chirch
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church
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ship
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treasure
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sure
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sink
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ring
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ing
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zing
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killing
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sing
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ming
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Have you been reassigned to a distant, desert planet?
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do i know you?
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flouting lobsters
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My milk shake brings all the boys to the yard,
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hello Matthew
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Have you ever been reassigned to a desert planet?
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Are you tired of losing the droids you're looking for?
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Do you owe the Hutt money? Are bounty hunters knocking at your door?
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Good morning, Julian
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Quit now and CAKE! will be served
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hi, you will die because microsoft sam is going to kill me, so I kill you before.
Download03/10/201203/07/2013
Trolololololo. You got trolled!
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Hi I am GLaDOS
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Hello and welcome to the penguins of madagascar HQ
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Trisha
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Hello. Its been a long time. I hate you.
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Ther you go!That's my vocie!Now go...Your ears bleed now,right?
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MalusAmicus on YouTube.So shitty
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Bonjour dans la salle de test numeros 1 d'Aperture Science
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Hello and Welcome To The Apeture Science Comuter-Aided Enrichment
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Nope, Chuck Testa.
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Nope. Chuck Testa
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hi my name is niger come and play and join us
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Hello Martin
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Hello. I am aZra.
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How was your day
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How was your Day
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What the Hell Man
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The time is one o'clock
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Hello Evan i am GlaDos
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Attention, a moron is trying to hack your computer.
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The time is two o'clock
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what the hell is going on!?!?
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The time is three o'clock
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The time is four o'clock
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The time is five o'clock
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The time is six o'clock
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The time is seven o'clock
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The time is eight o'clock
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The time is nine o'clock
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The time is ten o'clock
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The time is eleven o'clock
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Hello. Oh, it's you again.
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The time is twelve o'clock
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Salutations Evan and Erika.I am GlaDOS, AND NOW YOU WILL DIE!!!!!!!!
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Kyo and tohru from Fruits Basket say "Got Red, Blue, and White Gel?
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Hello there Ryan
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containment unit is online
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Well, you found me. Was it easy? Well you are wrong. I have wrongly convicted 3 of being Snail already, Chase,Lou and now Gus. Seeing a pattern? You might be next.
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That thing over there is probably a sewage container. go ahead and rub your face all over it.
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Vince you are a moron
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MERVIN IS AWESOME
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Why, Chell, why?
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i am a monster in the computer hello haha porkchop
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Oh look, here comes a call. Friends? Impossible, it's most likely someone you respect trying to find out why you are such a loser.
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Oh look, a text. Some moron wants to talk to you. It's okay, look at it, we'll only be testing for the rest of your pathetic life.
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Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring. Banana phone.
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Roses are red. Violets are blue. In Soviet Russia, poem writes you.
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hello william welcome to testing
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I'm sorry, but Alex Onaskin is currently in the aperture science testing facilities. Please call again later unless he dies.
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Wheatly, you are an idiot.
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Wow, you are fat, arnt you?
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Eat a bagle, Like a boss.
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Hello, there. How are you today?
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Now, Now. Alice it's only a dream.
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Difficulty increased
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Your late Alice. You've already missed the train
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Alice tell me of your wonderland
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And I found it
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Hi Glauber
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hello alex and welcome to Aperture science where i Glados am your master and are my testing slave let us commence testing!
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hello alex and welcome to Aperture science
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Hey. Amanda.
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Aurana, I would like to spend the night with you
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Jake Caution
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o my god i love your big wiener
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Hello Brandon, and welcome.
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olla soy muooro
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josh likes boys
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hello, its me, GLaDOS
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Welcome Back Dylan!
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what are you doing? NOOOOOOOOOOO!!! hewow moy nawms gwados. BACON! abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz. your name is FGSDF.
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All Systems And Subsystems Deactivating.
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this is SPARTA!? is it sparta, I don't know. *bang* ok... something exploded...
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Douglas
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Hello Agent 6 5 0 0 8 4 9 7 Maxwell Clint.
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This is a formal warning that your energy levels are getting low.
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You are a homosexual, Nick.
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Energy levels critical!
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wow what have you done
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Hi first try at enerating GlaDOS like synth voice
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hello im a big noob and i hate puppy's
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You received a personal message
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The Tower of Terror 2 is currently under maintenance, which is proudly sponsered by Appeture Science
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wanna have fun? sex!
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Gordon Freeman was the brother of Morgan Freeman. Did you know that? I'm just kidding, don't listen to me, as I'm a Poh-Tay-Toe.
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timmi
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This movie will end in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Thank you for Watching
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Milton, you there?
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if you say the cake is a lie, i say screw you
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Wheatley... I hate you.
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In 2030 the human race is on the edge of a third world war. The United States of America supported by the European feel threatened by the Chinese sustained by Russia and Middle East.
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Metal Ball I CAN Hear you... Want some cake?
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hello this a test
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Oh listen? It's my voice. How entertaining for you all... I wonder what would happen if I took your voice and put it into a computer for people to play around with.. I'm not saying I will do that, but It's a good idea for a future experiment..
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Windows Shutting Down , Goodbye Kelly Von Grimm
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WANKER THIS IS A TEST
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Hello. And welcome to the Guild Wars teaser video. You should fasten your seatbelt and prepare yourself. After all, you will be a member of the mac fly guild...
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Hello Ruben, Remember when you tried to kill me twice? and DON'T COME BACK!!!
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welcome to mals computer be very careful you do not harm me in any way
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hi lee, how are you?
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Problem
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wsdxf
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Hello there. I'm Glados. I'm a very smart computer and I'm gonna kill you.
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guess you found the cake, or not, maybe it is a lie.
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Hello, we are difference.
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Hello ladies and gentlemen, we are difference.
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So I heard you like forum games? We'll see if you are up to my challenge. There is no place for errors. There is no place for idiotic speciments like you. What is that? You are not an idiotic speciment?
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Hello, We are Difference.
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oooohhh ... its you ...... i relived my death . oooveer and oooveer again , one maigh dedicate to plotting revenge
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ooohh .... its you ..... i relived you killing me oooveer and ooveer again ... one might dedicate ones self to plotting revenge
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Welcome to apeture c14
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hey how are you holding up ???? because i am a potato
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hey how are you holding up ??? because i am a potatoo
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Welcome to the Aperture testing level. Your cryostase begun in 1973, you slept 39 years.
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You are a wonderful person and I am glad to have known you before your untimely death.
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Welcome to the new testing facility. If you wanted to know, we are on the moon.
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Hola CreeperPickaxe
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test test derp herp derpy hooves is awesome
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today is a good day
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Aaron Parmenter, Josh Bird and Gary Brigs, Brenden Yager, Greer Ruedin, James Perry, Jeff Heylee and Brian Bressler, John Vincent, Laderrick Smith, Leon Slavage, Quinn Decker, Roman Cleveland, Sam Young, Friends
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I will take over the world
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Cody, please let Krista play with me
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Do I sound like GLaDOS or not? I want to take over the world hahahaha
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You idiot. I despise you more than I despised anybody else
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The system is down.
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Oh... Wheatley...
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Oh, i'm nice. Fuck you.
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hello an again
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dasda
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hello ive been waiting
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Hello. I guess you want cake, right?
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Please assume the party escort submission position or you will miss the party
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Hello, Welcome to aperture science labatories
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Disco Punks on Jolt by Blue Stahli
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Oahu
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Lalalala I am tilly
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Hello and welcome in the psycho virtual world of the thirteen invisible. Any attempt to find logic in the system will followed by death, Have fun.
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You smell like rabbit
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Hello. My Name is GLaDOS. I will kill you with cake. Never mind. I have much more respect for food then wasting it on you.
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You are an idiot. Anyone can solve a simple RUBIX CUBE!
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You are SUCH an idiot! Anybody can solve a simple RUBIX CUBE!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Burn in hell please
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TheSquidler
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Welcome to the Aperture Science Computer Aided Enrichment Center.
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In this test you will complete the simple task of running through a forest. To make this task harder, you will be blindfolded. To make this task possible, you will hear a beep when you are about to crash. Good Luck.
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hello and welcome to aperture science testing chamber number 1
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Hey Angel how are you doing. You are a LOSER!!!!!! Happy birthday Tanner
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Hey Hey Angel, you're a loser. Happy Birthday Tanner!
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Hello, Allison! Welcome to San Francisco
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Your life is pitiful.
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shadow clone jutsu
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im glad your still alive! this next test will make sure your not
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You dont understand? I have just decided to make the room you are in explode. So.... goodbye.
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G L A D O S
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Luke, I am your father
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This Is My Boom Stick
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I want to add your birthday to My Calendar. I'll send cake, well maybe,
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Hey, you are going the wrong way!
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