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MessageDownloadDate addedDate processed
Privet Moyo imya Ildar
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Hello, sir, welcome back, enjoy your stay at the computer
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Sasha loh
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Oh. Hello. I didn't see you come in. My name is Merle Haggard and I run this labs.
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mania sretun tee rojendun
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Hello! I have looking for you
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momo
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SED MAGIS AMICA VERITAS
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you are pervert
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fuck you,chell
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Hello and welcome today i will be showing you some fifa 12 trading tips
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Or ill make you wish you could.....Seriously space core get out
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Did you know BizStream is the best place to work on the entire earth?
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Hello Cole Parl
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I HATE EVA GARRET AND JODIE COMEY!
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this is intresting hopefully it works
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How are you doing today?
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we are whores.
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I am very horny!
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hhhh
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Chelsea, the cake is a lie.
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Eat me now please
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I'd like you to have some of my cake
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Hi, and welcome again to the Enrichment Center.
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Hello How are you doing
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hi lohnnce
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Hello martin and welcome TO DEATH
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the hills are alive with the sound of music
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I'm stupid
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Welcome to the portal video game video. Created by Forest Gup till
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Thank you for downloading a torrent from a The pirate bay legend. Relaxx
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Thank you for downloading a torrent from Relax. a the pirate bay legend.
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boladinho
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Spacccccccccccccccccccccceeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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party rockers are in the house to night everybody just have good good time we gonna make you lose your mind we just want u to shake that
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party rockers are in the house tonight everybody just have a good good time we just want you to shake that
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Hello, there. We are going to have a great time together.
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fitter, happier
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hey whats up my bro. i am going to kill you now. sorry
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better luck next time !!!!!
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what what what are you doing this is not proper behavior
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Hello Jacob Baker. I have some information you might like. I also know your secret. Meet me tonight. at eleven eleven. Down by the waterfront.
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I heart you
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Dj Pamela Beatz
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fuck you mother fucker
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Welcome to the apeture science enrichment center. There is cake
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Jake?
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OLOLOLOLOLOLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
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After the next test you will bake and turn into a cake.
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After next test you will bake and turn into a cake.
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Hello nicholas
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Can I do the accent? okay, I'll try it... How are you today? How are you?
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Hello Terry. I just thought you might like to know that you are not special at all. it says so right here in your file. painfully ordinary.
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You are safe. Don't you struggle now. Don't you want your nice big cake?
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Why hello
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this is not a test
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you have main
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i am the one that kills dadadadada
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hello your rad
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hey trevor fuck you
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hello how are you doing do you play happy wheels
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Shed Culture Liiiiive.
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Hallo du minderbemittelstes Lebewesen
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i love fluffy bunies
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I love cats. I love every kind of cat
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your face is quite stupid
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i like to fuck monkeys because theirs ass are full of shit
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Did you really think that something that simple as that would stop me?
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Tom is the best
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This is not true. Cake is not a lie.
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This world is ending
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You have reached to voice mail of Emma, she is currently busy testing for science, but if you leave a short message, she will be able to contact you after enjoying her cake.
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Hello, and welcome to the voice mail of Emma. She is currently testing at Aperture labs for science, so leave a message and she will get back to you once she finishes her cake.
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Hello, and welcome to the voice mail of Emma. She is currently testing for Aperture Science. using her dull pointless human life to further science. If you leave a message, she will get to you as soon as she finishes her cake.
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Hello, and welcome to the voice mail of Emma. She is currently testing for Aperture Science. using her dull pointless human life to further science. If you leave a message, she will get to you as soon as she finishes her cake
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System initiated, stand by.
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Shuting down applications. Good Bye.
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Privet ya Glados e ya prishla chtoby ubit tebya
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Huzzah. Lance is the best.
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You Know I am Actually a Pretty Big Deal!
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BEWARE COWARD
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Your mother is a filthy french whore
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dont fuck with sayan
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don't fuck with my family
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dont fuck
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ab
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asasa
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dfdfdfdfd
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xzxzxzxzxz
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problem
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:D
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;P
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HELL YEAH
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FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
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ima firin mah lazor
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you area a anonymous OH RLY
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ASAS
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ASASA
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dsdsds
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ddfdfd
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o realy
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o rly
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oh rly
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oh rly 1
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oh rly 2
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oh rly 3
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oh rly 4
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oh rly 5
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oh rly 6
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oh rly 7
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oh rly 8
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oh rly 9
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OHH WEEGEEE ---------------------------------------->yeah rly
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glados says fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you
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qw
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zx
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ws
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rfrfrfr
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11 11 111 1 1 1222 2 222 222 2 omg is teh epicness
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aaaa | wtf
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troll alert
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mwahahahahaha
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portal is my fuck game
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FUCK YEA
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Thank you for calling Logical Edge Services. We are open from 9am until 6pm Monday to Friday and 11am to 4 PM on Saturday. If you know your party's extension you may dial it at any time. Otherwise, dial 0 for Operator to assist you or dial 1 to leave a me
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Welcome To News For Life
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jesus i couldnt belive that
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this is what your voice in your head sounds like.
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What a fu... Oh, sorry I am crazy!
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fuck you you mother fucking cunt
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Welcome to the twenty twelve film night
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this is team o p s ink providing you with creative and technology services
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Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you.
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hello welcome home kevin bosma
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kevin, why are you such a homo?
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hello user of kevin website
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i am alone in the universe....
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Hello test subject, you broke my heart
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Attention, you got a text message
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I love my matthew very much
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Oh joy. Remind me to kill you later
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laughing so hard my sumbrero falls off and i drop my taco
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Take the phone, mom's calling.
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I WILL KILL YOU
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Don't run away, I have cake
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Hello Kintow, how are you today ? I'm going to kill you, and there is no cake !
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GO TO HELL
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systems booting up
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Do u want a cake?
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It's good to be home
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The enrichment center reminds you that you will be mashed, and then there will be jam.
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hello Niggerface, are you done soon
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Hello Finn, Let us begin testing
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Please kill yourself. If no i'll kill you.
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Hello gay. You take text message
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krank
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It's real, you know. The cake. It isn't a lie. It's not even poisoned! It's right behind that door over there. Go in. Fine, don't. Your loss. No cake for you.
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I have some cake for you
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You so stupid to live in our social
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Hello Dmitriy. I am GlaDOS!
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i hate ratman
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You have a call from someone who doesn't love you
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Your business is appreciated.
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Your business is appreciated
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Hello, what can I do for you?
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It's no problem for me, but it is a problem for you!
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Guilty Spark? That's a stupid name. Not that I'm calling you stupid, although I am.
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you retard
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Hello. I am a potato. Nice to meet you.
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Bumcyfykysz
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Muere waton conchetumare eris terrible gay
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waton conchetumare soi terrible gay
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Hello gentlemen, my name is GLaDOS
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Hello. Get ready to die.
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Hallo Thomas
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I has a bucket.
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Melvin, let's go and make a GLaDOS A I. I want it!
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Wellcome master
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Thank you for calling Allerderm. Your call is important to us. Please hold for the next available agent
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Snake respond. Snake? SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE!
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hey i'm your best friends fathers roommate on his mothers side.
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gfsdfhbsbfgbdf
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Oh, hello there, i wrote you a song, would you like to hear it?
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I am Overlord Actual. You know not who I am. Hehehehe.
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One day, Walter was attending to his peace lily. On this momentus day, a video tape arrives to change his life. Can Walter learn to live again????
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Jamie is a cube
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bonjour, vous etes sur le repondeur
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Why won't our jungler gank bottom? This is obsurd.
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Hello Ales, would you like to coffee?
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You need to shut the fuck up sheets or i will murder your so called worthless life
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hello my name is pierce, you will now die
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Excuse me sir, but somebody calling you. Can I kill him or you want accept this calling?
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Enter Level 2
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I hope you will die slow and painfully.
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Your mother is a filthy disgusting french whore
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I hope you will die slow and painfully
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I am your master. Beg for mercy if you value your life
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Pow. You are dead. Big surprise.
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Mister Raynard, you have a call. May be it's important.
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Hello mister Raynard, You actually have a call. Do you want to answer ? I think you should...
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Incase you don't recognize it, your cellphone is ringing. You better pick it up since you'll never get called again. you loner.
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Pootis
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HELLO, JOEL
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For science, You monster
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this portal meeting is not going to go well.
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"Happy"
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You have one new message
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Break down, every single one of you
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Good morning, Damian. Are you still alive?
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Good night, Damian. That's another cycle before you die gone.
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So I have a new Ad kid harassing me. Too bad he's never met my 6'8 husband who's not happy about some hipster bugging me. Bad Idea Buddy
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hello griffin holt
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you are horrible
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fernando es chido
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Hello Young Child
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Pinkie Pie has breached the fourth wall in sector two.
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Ah, You Are Awake
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You have reached the after hours message center for the Sales department. Our office hours are 8-5 Monday through Friday. We appreciate your call! Please leave a complete message including your name, number and the best time to contact you. Your call will
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by sean
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bye,bye sean
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Andrew is not here right now, leave a message
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I fucking hate you, go die in a hole
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I'm going to release neurotoxine in Valve's office if they don't learn more than two numbers.
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Hello and welcome to mine craft I have taken the game over if you do not mind..
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Alina you are such a tuna
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Im sorry but I have taken over this phone while Andrew is testing. Maybe you should leave a message because this might take awhile.
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Good morning Lucas
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Oh it's you!
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Hello people of youtube, this is GLaDOS. i have taken over this Vocaloid in hopes that we can exist in a system where i feed, clothe, and kill you one by one. good bye!
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where is all my cheese
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Attention you have a new message in your cellphone
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hello chel
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I think I love you.
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Hello Timothy. This is Samantha. I now have the powers of GLaDOS and shalt kill you. I love you.
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You have reached the voice mail of Matthew Barton
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Nick
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Hello Everyone!
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sarah, i hate you
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Hello! people Of YouTube, This is Glados i dont know if you noticed but I need a voice actor because there will soon be a web comic! i hope you all will participate . Or. I. WILL. kill. you!...
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Hello. I am GLaDOS, Welcome to my enrichment center, Cantaloupe, where your greatest horrors are about to come true. Why am I doing this to you. I want to test. Science isn't fun without cyanide, Cantaloupe. You of all people should know.
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blue team has the flag
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Nahhhh...
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Hello Denali
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I hate you now go away.
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I JUST LOST THE GAME!!!!
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there is a text message for you. but i daubt that it will help you in this testchamber
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Black Mesa is STUPID. I hate it because they are so smart with they're stupid jackass expirements that almost got City 17 and even the whole world in danger. I hate Black Mesa because of that. So, if Black Mesa hears this, I want to say to them: Fuck You.
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want some cake?
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Your Listening To Insanity Radio
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I can't believe you'd ever do that to me
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hi i love you girl baby
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Air Bound
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Hello, and Thank you for activating the M8O8V Main Battle Computer System, you can call me Sheyla
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you look a little heavy, but the question is, you didn't eat any pice of cake, ha ha.
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Welcome to the apeture Science testing facility
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Hello, What can i help you with?
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tristanne
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Nowww
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Hello Emo Drake and welcome to the aperture science computer-aided enrichment center
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Hello Jordan... I'm glad you could join us in testing...
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THORIVO IS THE SOUND
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thorivo is the sound
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i like to eat bananas
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Hello Antoine i hope you will enjoy that cake hmmm
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I love my little pony
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Hello, and again, welcome to macromedia flash MX 2004
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Hello, I wanna ask you something
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your listening to pinoy jam online with dj ichiro
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enjoy listening here in pinoy jam online with dj ichiro
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Warning System critical, Waring Please empty the Nitro Core to begin purge.
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Hello, and again welcome to the computer aided microsoft programing system.
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Hmm... sometimes I think about what it would be like to be living. I don't think I'm missing out on much.
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Oh shit. It's bat man
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Would you like me to open the cisco terminal and compile the project?
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I love rainbow dash.
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asdasfasfaeqrerrtyiipikjlhjmcs
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Minty
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Oh hello! I didn't see you there...
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Attention, you have an incoming text message
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Look, metal ball. I CAN hear you.
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Hello, and Welcome to the Aperture science enrichment center
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Hello. You may wonder who I am. Well that is not important. All you need to know is that I was upgraded from a potato.
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Hello silly human
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The Enrichment Center apologizes for this clearly broken test chamber
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you are listening to duke
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You got mail. How suprising. Weee!
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A new mail arrived. How suprising.
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Hello, my name is glados, I run appeture science
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bebebebebeeb
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I wish I was human. Like you
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asdfadf
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auction
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Hello, you have called Blake Lovelace. Please Leave a message after the tone.
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Dear [insert employee name here], happy Birthday. Aperture Science encourages its employees to be more productive by giving them presents. Deploy present.
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Well now you found me was it worth it despite your violent behaviour
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Thank you Gamecore dot com. You are great. Now have some cake.
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Thank you Gamecore. Your are great. Now have some cake.
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Modern Warfare 4
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Modern Warfare 4!
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O M G!
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Baby. Baby. Baby. Ohhhh!!!
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Oh my strogg
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hi i am creeper
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qewfafsfa
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Hello and again welcome to the aperture science enrichment program
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beavis you are the most hardest thing to kill so just go you want your freedom then take it hahahah its been fun dont come back!!
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Doy you ever wonder when someone says your name it could be the last time you hear it? Kevin...
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Hello. I am here to talk to you about the water cycle.
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Please pick up the phone, I'm making a note that someone called you.
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Your mother is calling!
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Hello, stranger
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Hello you.
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how are you dundes ?
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Tu si no mandas esto a cincuenta personas matare a toda tu familia con neurotoxinas
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Hey tu si no mandas esto a cincuenta personas matare a toda tu familia con neurotoxinas
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Harry I am coming after you in your sleep
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i Love the school so much i could burn it down
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nig, you are a very lonely person. i'm sorry for you
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Preorder on xbox or ps3 and get a Captain Price Toy Absolutely Free!
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I wish you a very happy birthday ... my friend
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Bonjour Vincent je te souhaite un joyeux anniversaire
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We've both said a lot of things that you're going to regret. But I think we can put our differences behind us. For science. You monster. I will say, though, that since you went through all the trouble of waking me up, you must really, really love to test.
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Hello, welcom in perception test
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Hallo lucas ich bin glaDOS wilkommen im enrichment center
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Hello there everyone. My name is tali and welcome.
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Hallo bist du noch da
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That wasn't so hard now was it?
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You are a moranic being unworthy or existence
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Thanks for the effort, next time you can just restart instead.
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So, that is the best you can do?
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I would destroy you, however it's more entertaining to continue the testing.
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I can see the work out plan has, slowed. I will have to reinforce the flooring for the next test.
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Ya ybiu tebya
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Hello Tester 1023
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Please move quickly to the chamberlock, as the prolonged exposure to the button, are not part of this test.
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Hello and welcome to our testing chambers!
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It appears that you have a message, I'll delete that for you.
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I am surprised that it took you that long.
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you sleep. I'll be plotting you demise.
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Hello you fucking idiot
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I love tacos because tacos taste like chicken. If you think so, say yes. If not, then you suck.
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blashingeer
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shake and bake, do whatever it takes
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Hello Nepenthez, we have missed you.
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welcome here
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Jake The Peg Productions
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hello once again callum we have been testing you for 5 5 5 5 milleniums it seems that you and p-body are good friends but we have to pull the cord...i mean the power cord because my central core has fried again...damn wheatley but p bady and you are s
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Which means I can also think insiiiiiide the chimney!
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Attention. You are recieving a text message.
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right hand yellow
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Rasmus your new game will be very interesting to play, too bad the lack of cake is inevitable.
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right hand
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Hello Shawn, welcome home
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Hello and welcome to NAUCOOserver
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portal is the best game of ever
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Wonderful! Another notification
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You Have a message but probably usless
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Hello. I like potatoes. and LEMONS! lolololol
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I like LEMONS!!!!!!!! lolololol DAMN YOU POTATOES!
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LADIDADIDA!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG LOLOLOL LEMONS!!!!!!!!!!!!
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My name is Sales Portal
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Text message from Blue, probably pointless.
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lolololol i hate you LEMONS and i love you hahahha i'm an idiot
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you fool you suck
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dylan why you no play minecraft
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ut
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Happy Valentines day from ALivia
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Hi there buddy.
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Johny has got an ipod and a macbook por. He thinks that he's better than me.
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I though I told you not to come back! Oh well, I've been needing a test subject with your...peculiarities.
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Calculating Options
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is this for real?
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Respect your avian furry overloard
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troll lol lol you got the message. you'd better be on your way to aperture science if you don't want to blow up
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hello. this is GLaDOS and i am playing minecraft . get over it . troll lol lol lol lol
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Foothill Horizons summer camp is fantastic.
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We're a lot alike, you and I.
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El Mascarado Mexicano
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Welcome, Master.
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Welcome master
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Hello Spratty
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Thank you for watching VItas television
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Hello This is Alan I am not available at this time
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hello user. interact with me through a presentation interface
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Are you ready for some science? Too bad.
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graphlin is a homo
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Your phone is ringing. Please answer it. Then we will have cake. That was a lie. There is no cake. Your phone is still ringing. Answer it. Now.
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DJ Young Angel
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Bruno Viado, Vai Tomar no Cu
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Bruno Viado, Vai Tomar no Cu, Seu Viadinho
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Lamp
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hello jason obrian
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i wood like to let you know that i am a hacker and i wll hack you.
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So you think you're so good at League of legends? Well, You're not.
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shut up mikey. shut the hell up.
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This is Reese Bull
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Happy birthday Robert. Testing will be modified appropriate to your advancing age. There will be no cake.
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Why would you even do that?
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Your fat
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is that all
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Hello Adam. How are you? I'm going to kill you. Don't beleive me? You're DEAD!
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Attention, Adam, you're soon going to be murdered in your sleep, then hugges by a tree, Thank you!
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Who's here?
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Jessica sucks
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helle cecile
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Sci pro, Synchronized Incremental Projection. The world's first personal and portable music visualizer. Fully compatible with ipods and all other music devices. Be the star of the party and leave it all up to Sci Pro as it takes care of all your entertain
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i am a creeper
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Hello Katie, Its very nice to meet you.
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Kinect will not make you a sandwich
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HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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eita
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Uoiluuwsahsfoli
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o, hello michael. I've been expecting you.
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I've been expecting you.
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Hi welcome to aperture science we do all we must because we can
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today
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quadrilateral
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Does not compute
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Welcome To Atop The Oz Wall, where bad stuff flies, Daniel Pizarro he's an Aussie, he's also an awesome guy
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deejay faadhy
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I WANT TO KILL YOU
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Maybe the cake being a lie wasn't so bad after all. I mean, you are looking a bit heavy anyway.
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DDD DJ Limpy
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O, its you. Again. Please leave a message after the beep. Beep.
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remember that time when I tried to kill you and laughed? Those were good times.
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DJ Jamoo
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The Barefoot Monkeys are awesome. For a group of primates, that is.
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Oh. It's you. How have you been since you, you know, murdered me? I've been busy being dead. And a potato. But that's less significant.
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aba aba aba petting e e e e a a a a o o petting na na na nein
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Im a potato!
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I can't do that, Dave.
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Dobry den
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boujour
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That's you! That's how dumb you sound!
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Remraf
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Teamwork is essential, so you can blame other people
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How are you going? Great? Because i'm a potato!
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I hate you, because you're stupid and I kolancius.
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I must say the time it took for you to complete that task was much longer than expected
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Hi, my name is GlaDOS. And you are past
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hi wyatt do you remember me
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Welcome to the Aperture Science computer-aided enrichment center.
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Hi my name is Joshua
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i fail at life
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Hi, my name is Pixar.
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Dear beautiful
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Hello Margot. It's been a long time, how have you been?
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Hi, you too heavy
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hi. My name is Tomazo and I came to Japan more than ten years ago. I live alone, studying during the day and working during the night. My dream is to become the greatest guitar player in the world.
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Hi This is toufeeque
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Hello This is Glados
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Hi i am toufeeq how about u
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Bonjour Michel, comment allez vous ?
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L'Ananas est un menson
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L'Ananas est un mensonge
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Fuck you in the hell
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this is not a dress, its the standard uniform
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Gunship
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I think it is due time that I speech and you stop pretending to listen.
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Hola como estas?
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i celebrate cristmas
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qzdedeqdsqdzed
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erde hallo
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I am glados. I am here to destroy you. No need to put on a seatbelt. You will not make it.
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No email please.
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Eu sou idiota
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You received a new message
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the phone will explode in 5 seconds if you do not answer the call.
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hello and welcome to aperture
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hello and welcome to aperture, Im GLaDOS. The thing that runs this place...
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Hello and welcome to aperture labs. The place where science is done and people are murdured.
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Hello everybody how are you?
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Ben... You have greatly dissapointed me. I expected more from a man of your level of interlect...
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You blocked me on facebook and now you're going to die
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glados sucks
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Trolololol
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Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? Thou art more lovely and more temperate: Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May, And summer's lease hath all too short a date: Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines
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It would seem my thoughts are being voiced by GLaDOS
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Testing this thing
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I just use my sonic scredriver to kill you.
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I like to suck my peepee
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Hello this is me, Glados talking.
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Well Hello There. Welcome back to Alex.Devil.LX's server. Pitty there is no neurotoxin
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hello and welcome to esteticum, a place for music and stuff
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Snoo pin ass usual i see.
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Im not done yet.
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Ron Ivan Staley
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Welcome to Eurika Base of Operations
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Hello my friend. I want to smash your head open and feed your brains to my test rats.
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Bonjour, xavier n'est pas joignable, laisser un message
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you received a new message
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Asa
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Silence is wonderful. I love silence. What about you?
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I wouldn't do that if I were you.
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caboose is sexy
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U S B HUB Connected
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are you still alive, what a surprice, you monster
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SPAAAAAAAACE
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Warning...All Data is going to be erased...
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Hello, welcome at HIV+ clan server
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