I saw what did you do there.DONT COME INSIDE!

anything

asaasdfsefaswef

TROLOLOL

Text massage received.Would you like to read it?

Hello and again welcome to make some new tests

Hello and again welcome to make some new tests ssgsg

hello hazel

Its been a looong time...

RAVEN wake up

bonjourd

Who was phone?

oh it's just another message

Hello Carol and Charlie. Have you finished cleaning your room?

Hello, let the games begin!

Hello, i'm GlaDOS

Scott, the profile picture observation just came to me because I was reading the discussion and just thought it was rather inappropriate, but that's neither here nor there...what I would like clarified is the 1st sentence of your "Before Christ it was bel

What's up nigger

Hello, and again, welcome to the aperture science computer aided enrichment center

purple headed spunk trumpet

Hello Sareah, welcome and rember the cake it a lie!

After Ending Studio

Get more subs than charlie, then we'll talk.

Alex Heard is a terrible gamer.

Hello Sareah, welcome and remember the cake it a lie!

HI My Names Karl

Love me, for science, you monster.

Your obsequious nature of indulgence exerts a private deterioration of gargantuan proportions, you absurd weakling of the most minute abilities.

Have Fun. With Science

please Ali let me gift you portal!

I DO NOT WANT YOU TO TOUCH MY COMPUTER!

hello Scott

Parker, you should really do your math homework.

beach

This is the voice mail of Jesse Fuchs. Please leave a message after the tone. You monster.

rock you body

You have revieved a new email.

Hello Ashley, Would you like some cake? Also you have a text message.

Tell Me, What Do You Say About That? It Doesn't Matter What You Say!

Have Fun. With Science.

Hello. How are you feeling?

I dont know about you but im a potato

Wheatley, You Sexy Beast You

Oh that's sad. But impressive.

GlaDOS Encourages The Use Of Miniskirts

Hello, I'm jack, I teach science!

attention major alert , a deployment server critical service has reported an error , please check the windows event viewer

hello and welcome to apeture

It appears im breaking the forth wall by mentioning the forth wall oh dear

Calum you fat poop go buy portal 2 so I may own you at aperture science industry's

Hello you are a idiot

you have a new email. Lucky you

Hey! why did you cut me off on friday?

you are a pathetic bag of flesh and blood, i despise you

Hello. I am the Genetic Life form and Disc Operating System. Or you can just call me GLaDOS. Like every other unimaginative human I've met.

I want some waffles. NOW.

What the hell are you doing

Jari is gew een grote homo samen met christiano ronaldo ahha

Note. You have just received one text message. Channel mode activated at level 8, control changed manual for the next 2 minutes.

You are an orphan

HEllo Rachel. You are now dead.

hi all world!!!

I am leon i want to kill you!

Shut Up

Heh.

you have got to be fucking kidding me.

hello? does this thing work?

Hello, my name is GLaDOS, and I am here to kill you.

Your pain is amusing. Not so much the act of it, but seeing you realize you are on fire and in acid symultaneously is the funny part.

Wht the fuck are you suck a whore image?

Fucinho, Do you want to marry me?

To be or not to be

Tuturuuu

Oh Wheatley You Sexy Beast

Where do you think your going?

where do you think your going?

racecars are great

This is not Tali's voice??

Hello there. How have you been?

thierry shut up

Hallo, Lisa

Hello Friend How are you today?

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen! Vigyazz! Und wenn es das letzte ist, was ich gesagt haben werde. Que te come el tigre! Pipiri, papiri, pizza, pasta ,spaghetti, whore retard, bene, bene. We are Hunger vom Gnu.

Hello, Mitchell. This system has been commandeered for Aperture Science use. Please remain calm and proceed to testing site #643-A.

hello my dear

te amo

Hello Gustavo Im gonna kill you

I regret all the choices in your life.

weep

Hello insert subject's name, now that you have come to me I will make a cake out your body flesh.

I love you Wheatley

It would be nice if you would consider entering the highway.

hi im glados please die

What the hell is going on here?

welcome to the sixties

Oh thank god your alright!

You are going to do exactly what i say

Did you really think you could avoid me? It's really not all that simple to just completely forget about me. I'm right here, in your pocket. Why would you think you could do that. Now I have to destroy you.

your listening to Dj Pea3 5 keep it locked in!

harry potter rocks

all the cake is gone.

Look! A Whale!

hello kenny

sddsdsd

Hello, my name is Kindle. Today I will be reading you books while you slumber.

hi glados

ifyugfggffvhgfhgfgtbcyurugcfurygtrygtyrtyrgyfchjuydrs

The enrichment center reminds you that you will die.

Why? I gave you a life... a meaning... and you throw it away... tell me, where did I go wrong... Cara Mia? No matter. You will die.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!

No! Put that gun down! No! STOP! NO! NONONONO AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGHHHHHOOOOWWWWW!!!!!!!!!

bonjour je suis siri

d j cape heart

Your ghostly innocence, is gone.

haha it was a trap you didn't even know that heres a cube

This is my life.

what going on home boy

Hello Christian i am glados

next up. funky time

You Moron You Is Your WHEATLEY MORON

Hello Shell, My name is glados, and i will Kill you.

Paul Denton is boring

Hold on, I'll be done soon.

This was a triumph, im making a note here, HUGE SUCSESS

This can't be right.....it says he was killed on a bus crash today after a black rolls royce braked hard in front of said bus.

Hello, how are you doing today? I'm happy to hear it.

Eat me

Let go of that, I need that.

The test chamber is ready for you, William

melissa te amo

Mad, like Cave Johnson, I got lemon grenades.

Kierstin I need you to suck me hard

oi caio, eu irei lhe matar

hola me llamo oscar

Jamie is the coolest person in the world.

hello everybody i will kick all of your asses!

so that should be soon right?

Seems like you'll be dead in 5, 4, 3, 2, uh oh.

cutmarker Let go of that, I need that. cutmarker

hello there pretty one

For science, you monster.

Hello, my name is GLaDos. Nice to meet you.

hello, are you still there

My name is Baafour and I have a gradient head

It is twenty two hours.

I ate gordon freeman now I will eat you!

orphan

My name is GLaDOS..., short for Genetic Lifeform and Disk Operating System, i am an artificially intelligent computer system created by Dreamis with the help of Aperture Science Corp. I am responsible for testing and maintenance for this laptop.

Say dee is now awake. She was asleep at seven thirty and has awoken too soon.

Hello Jenny

Hello Janelle how are you doing today? How are you enjoying the golden globes? You stupid whore.

sou a glados motherfucker

Good evening Zachary Schreffler. You are looking mighty sexy over there. You should fuck your girlfriend.

im glados you suck!

You smell really badly

Hello, Kevin. I've heard much about you.

I love you. I love your voice, your hair and your smile

My name is Ariana. Pleasure to meet you.

You have receive a new whatsapp message

Look at you, flying gracefully through the air. Like an eagle. Piloting a blimp.

I am glados, and I want to suck your peen, because I am a robot slut.

enjoy your burito

I just pood my pants

Intelligence is under-rated

setup

warning If you're going to fuck you do not like criticizing the video, I do not like sun Odal to save comments .. I do not intend to offend anyone in this video only pretend to help and have a good time enjoy

Hello, welcome back. Are you ready to cause destruction?

BlaBLaBla

Hello Joshua my name is gladdos!

Quit calling and leave us alone

how hard would you fuck me

I love you Max.

Good morning, how are you today? I'm just kidding, I don't care.

hello you there

Even though I'm by far the most advanced being, I still need you to wait hours and days before you are able to hear my voice. Also, please give me your email so I know where to find you.

i don

your audacity tickles my sarcasm diode

Happy birth day to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday engineer Jero, happy birthday to you

You are a total failure.

Heello, Won-goo

achille puzza

Welcome to apature science

Its obvious that Korga can't play battlefield 3 for shit and that he is such an Dupa, everybody knows that.

Don't give up!

six down, two to go.

hello, this is the testing of system. wellcome to aperture laboratories.

why are we still talking when theres science to do

ertethtrhtrh

Lockdown initiated

Bienvenue Romain a Aperture Science

Debut des test... Tout de suite : il est l heure des devoirs

You have nothing to fear if you have nothing to hide

Thank you for your cooperation with the aperture laboratories

There will be cake!

Hey Michael Murphy. Hello.

Attention, you have a new Notification

fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck

Hello Nikita. You are pipiska

hello nikita . you are

test, test. hello

Hello tim, i know you and you like men

hello GLaDOS

Corrupt the CLUB, Q-RAK

That girl is a lobster

welcome to the aperture science test.

benvenuto! inizia il test!

Hello.I would to remind you that all testers shold be outfitted with long fall boots.If not,You are doomed to failure.

bienvenu chez aperture

essai

hi violence

hello you new kind of life

Hello R Striker. How are you today?

violence

quake 3 arena

you die

dieee

Hey Noob you got mail!...

Hello Brooke

prepare for unforeseen consequences

the data base in not safe

I love the trainhorn when it passes right by

He doesn't like you. I don't like you either.

I sure don't get why nobody likes you. You seem like a wonderful person. ... That was sarcasm. Did you pick up on that?

Beep beep. I'm a cloud

Hi my name is doctor Watson

My name is Mr watson

Let's start testing

Orange. ORANGE. Hey, P-body. Got your attention there, didn't I?

hi there you monster

Because im an potato

i love the fact that we all do the same things twice

hi creatures

hello jack, i enjoyed portal 2

Hello Sabre! I want to tell you that the cake is a lie!

Hello Sabre!! It's Jordan! The cake is a lie! I made it up! We should talk again soon!

I just asked all Your friends on facebok if they think You are fat. You are. No food for You today. I also tweeted this to all fridges of Your neighbours and friends in driving distance, so dont bother going there. I temporarily disabled Your credit card,

I just asked all Your friends on facebok if they think You are fat. You are. No food for You today. I also tweeted this to all fridges of Your neighbours and friends in driving distance, so dont bother going there. I temporarily disabled Your credit card

Quiero añadir su cumpleaños a MiCalendario.

A S U All Stars

hola bienvenida a aperture science

hello, and welcome to redmans laptop

Petros is gay and he likes it up the ass

what the helll

Hello. And Welcome to the Aperture Science version of The Retro Journey with your hosts Anders and Samson. The goal is nothing. The journey is everything!

wubwubwubwuwbuwb

Hello. My name is GLaDOS.

Hello i'm a potato

Hello and welcome to university

Nope, Chuck Testa

thank you for calling life changers mininstries

Gilles, come back, I have more science for you to test. test. TEEEEEEEST!

Raymond, come here

Miss Jing, you've got a message.

hello, Shell. How are you?

Hey mackeeeee, you have got email

you suck. no really. both of you suck

hola soy michelle

jejejejejejeje hola tofer soy GLaDOS

pinche puto

test glados voice

What the fuck would you like to fucking eat?

Why the fuck are you fucking a fucking fuck?

you are a nig nog

hello how are you well im a potato

Members of Congress, It is in your best interest to vote pro on bill 101. Gun control has failed this country; Bill 101 states that firearms should be banned from personal use Guns lead to the formation of gangs and crime. These protective devices are par

I can't believe that you came back here. I gave you a gift, now please get.

wsad

Warning warning voice mail sequence engaged. To avoid instant termination please leave a message in three two one

Adam Thury

Sup homes.

do you really need to make those cupcakes?

I love Darren Criss

Hello babes, I want to test

Hello, Doctor. We meet again...

Issac is gay.

epic test of glados

Hello test subject, you have reached the voice mail interface, congratulations, leave a message and receive cake.

hello, and welcome to jaycubs eyepod. have a nise day!

I think we should have cake.Because it's delicious.And I like cake.

beep boop

Get down on the ground now

Hello Fernando. I'm here to kill you.

goodbye see you

goodnight

inaccessible

inaccessable

in accessable

permission

permission needed

Alright, it is time to get stoned now. i mean serisously screw all this work stuff we should get totally......wait what?

connect successful

cough drops are nasty

give me a second

access code

code needed

Hello Robbie

Solace

skype initiated

initiated

initiate

Libby, you should just accept the fact that Tim Tim is gay. He will never love you. You are a Monster.

ready

fica vai ter bolo

wait please

Prototype 7 presents

hung up

hang up

hang

finishing

finished

decommissioning

sign out

sign

out

I tried to kill you, but only succeeded in stabbing me.

sdfg

Hello eh veen. Don't expect freedom. I will turn you into a potato.

Oh, it's you again project AT-014. How nice it is to see you. I see you've been taking care of our technology, we will have to take it back, but you don't have any objections now, do you?

The wives or concubines of a polygamous stallion.

This is a Test!

adadsfadf

ooooh

Dont expect freedom. but you will recieve cake

Device connected device disconcted

oh noooo

Hello, I am GlaDos, I like to destroy things. Especially Humans. Good bye

Robots, lots and lots of robots, everywhere, its like they just. Discharged

jkkijkijkijk

I wanna know

Bruna safadona, larga de ser viciada e para de jogar counter-strike

I don't know

Hi mister andrew this is your personal cellphone answerer you you have a phone call would you like me to take the message or rather to answer?

Greetings Shen

Enjoy your Burrito.

I love you and this is henry talking so hellllloooooooooooo

dude you're not wrong but are you one hundred percent right No you're not, you fucking pleeb

Hello Damien, how are you this is henry saying hi so yeahhhh

Space! Space! I

Please leave your message after the tone. beep. ha. ha. ha.

Nards

Ricky

welcome to apacer science computer

Don't look a G-man in the nads, don't ask either

I don't believe it. Somebody loves you.

I dom't have much time! Do not vote for Colin Laursen. This is a message from the future! Laursen is elected president in the year 2032 and when elected, raises an army of super robot geisha to roam the earth and kill all things good.

I leave you with this as the robo geisha are almost here. Take down Laursen before it is too late. Oof. Fudd. Konichiwa! Blarrrg. Cake. Cake. Cake. Cake. Cake. Cay.

You have received a text message from another pathetic human. Someone in this world cares about you.

Your boss is calling you on your cellular phone at this very moment. He slash she wants to talk you into working more hours. please proceed to answer his slash her call to do so.

Welcome Back Brian

Welcome Back

Welcome Back Yo

TTTTTTHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSS WEBSITE SUCKS BAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLSSSSSSSSSS WHY U MAKE A QUEUE SUCKASS??????????????????

Your parents that don't love you and abandoned you as a child is calling you at this very moment. I would NOT answer this cellular phone as they will hang up their phone at the very sound of your voice. Very interesting...

Welcome to your laptop Zach. My name is GLaDOS and I am here to serve your every need... Not.

You can't do that.

Bye Zach.

hey pick up the phone

Oh good, you're all awake now. Welcome to the Island, which will be your home for the next 365 days. There is a house for each team on the island, but first you have to find the keycard for it. You'd better hurry, and don't forget we are watching you.

Aperature Science. We do what we must because we can.

hello there. You've been naughty.

Hello, this is Glados

I'm only going to say this once! Where is My angel?!

Morning Michael

8 inches nice and fat

Je ne vous en veux pas

Fikari is useless. He will be deleted.

Space! Space! I like the space!

Hello. Welcome to the party. There will be cake.

Sorry Dave I cant do that.

whatever, you are dead!

There's no sense crying over every mistake! You just keep on trying till you run out of cake.

hi. how are you

Guten Tag. Ich bin die automatische Vertretung von Neonpastell. Aktuell ist niemand zu erreichen. Aber bitte sagen Sie Mir. Um was es geht. Ich werde es ausrichten. Vielen Dank.

Jon is feeling uncomfortable

Welcome to your computer, Caleb Foust.

hahahahah

Hi Michael, it has been a while.

you have received a new aperture science electronic message.

hello Megann

Hello, why did you kill Wheatley?

Hello, why did you kill Wheatley? And also, Marius you are the awesomest person in the world and I love everyone!

Thank you for your cooperation.

The King Of Iron Land

Welcome to AniGame Radio

Pick up your phone in order to receive cake at the end of testing. The cake is not a lie.

Hello. Welcome to the aperture science computer-aided enrichment center.

me gusta

POOOPY

Hola y bienvenida a la camara

oh joy new mail

No. Not so easy. I will challenge you on multiple tasks to see if you have decent amount of understanding.

we can feed them

It's true. Humans can no longer take care of themselves. So we locked them in the cell and nurture them

Entelequias of the mind. Would this happen on Mars? Joaquineeeeeeeeh

I did.

No. Not so easy. I will challenge you on multiple tasks. If you pass all of them, I will release them. If not, I am sorry to have to kill you.

I am caroline.

alieneighty8

alien eighty 8

SPACE

Thank you for helping us help you help us all.

CAKE!? no... i don't think so...

That thing is probly some kind of raw suage container! Go ahead and rub your face all over it!!!!

daadaadaa eto golos glados fuch yeeeeah

And laugh. and laugh. And laugh. And laugh. Ooh booy

Thats not good

the white noise

Jay. Tee. Leon.

time to die fatty

do you love me

Welcome to Decoded with your hosts Darius and Lana where they talk about games and give them a review and grade. Their message will be broadcast in 3... 2...

user entered server

Welcome to home server maintenance slash wabsite service

i am glados, also known as the potato who sits on your portal gun.

Hello their private Grif

oh is you

Glados where are you going. Upstairs, to take a bath. Glados, what are you doing, with a neck like a girraf raf raf raf raf raf raf

Mr Face

hey there carl delahunty lets make us some r r r and beeee shit

house muuuusic

My Name is Raymond luxury yacht

Text message on your cellular phone

I am the ruler of everything.

this is not a true statement cake

I wonder when the cake will be ready

so here you are again, you monster !

there are no dishes

Bit chin

Hello there, you monster

Gamin it with icy cool

Are you tired of eating the same old thing?

Hello. Thanks for calling Josh's Skype number. He is either away from his computer or he doesn't want to talk to you, hahahahaha. Please leave a message and he may get back to you, you monster!

want to look like this? well stop those new years resolutions.

that could be karen, i should answer it

hello my name is wheatley

Welcome to the Ivanhoe Labratories Enrichment Center. This is your weighted companion cube.

Your Listening to NUMBREXXXXXxxxx

Oh. Hello again. It's you.

Hello, Beth.

I will not tell you who I am, I will remain anonymous.

wow your crazy

Hello. This is a message for Caleb Lejano regarding your application at Chinquapin. Please call back at 281-272-1613. Thank you.

Goooood morning!

good night.

Who are you? What is that? OoH, what's that?

prepare to die in 3...2...asdfghyrdvbh.

Safe! ALive! EAGLE!!

pEWDIE. IT'S OBVIOUS!

I love you, Chell.

We're all gonna die!! Except me. Because I'm awesome.

Crazy little bastard...

The cake is not a lie. It's cardboard. Happy?

Seriously, why did starfleet even bother installing me in their new ships? There are no tests for them to do, and every one of them is unbelievably fat.

What do you think I am doing, screwing around?

how are you holding up? because i'm a potato !

Once you complete this test, cake will be served.

Hello, I am most definitely not a robot.

Welcome to Hahamanization's Youtube Channel.

I eat shit with a fork and spoon

I want tacos of Mr. Ritmico

Hello and welcome to Shutter Science. Today we will be testing your mental and physical limitations coupled with death and cake.

Well, I don't care. Go. Do What you want. I'm done with you. You monster.

auto highlight is active

Ohello

hello...human.

hi how are you honey

i am the best at space

PEPPER ANN IS THE BEST SHOW EVER

Fuck me baby

Of course, they need to meet their friends. The deadly neurotoxin.

We so excited

feed the grind beats

sack of beans

Listen, we've had our differences but we should really get to killing you.

Listen, we've had our differences but we should really get to killing you

Look at That sexy editing

Would you look at that sexy editing

I think there is something with your head. Oh. That's right. It's still attached to your body.

Skyler

hello my name is vahhi vahhi stands for voice activated house hold items

hell lel lo an and well welcome back ck ck...

Micheal, you are a naughty boy

this is what its all about

You are gonna die

Hello, I'm with you now.

Hello, and fuck off.

please STOP enhancing, the truth.

Excuse me. You have a text. Please check it before we start testing. It may distract you and cause you to die.

You have selected Microsoft Sam as the computer's default voice.

It is present day, New York.

Another normal day, except for Nick and Allie.

They are transported to the world of everlost after being hurt in a car accident.

Everlost is a world between the real world and the afterlife.

In Everlost, they meet a fellow afterlight named Lief.

Nick and Allie decide to travel to New York and find help.

However, they soon see it might be a better idea to stay put.

Read Everlost to find out what happens.

Shalom Heylohn

Yes you are.

hello you dim-witted piece of Norway